so I just started fanfiction so forgive me if i stink. i love harry potter, doctor who, lord of the rings, the avengers, and crossovers with harry potter. I have also recently become a fan of How to train your dragon.

My mother has me addicted to Les Miserables. I can't stop watching it :)

FYI: pretty much all of my fanfic's will include Fem!Harry if its harry potter. I am a girl and can't really write well from a boys point of view.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo,zeusgirl39, percabeth4evereverveverever, RainingSunshineEverywhere, Qille, Scalemoonstone,

If you have ever seen an animated movie so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you wonder who started these thingamawhatevers, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever really wanted to give a certain cartoon character a hug, copy and paste this on your profile

If you come up with most of your fanfic ideas by laying in bed staring at the moon, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name; Medalis, Invisibool, krazykookiegirl, Gewlicious, RainingSunshineEverywhere, Qille, Scalemoonstone,

If you read this, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't wait for the HTTYD and CWACOM sequels, then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Susan from Monster vs Aliens looks like Sam Sparks from Cloudy with a chance of meatballs, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that Toothless is the awesomest dragon character in HTTYD, copy paste this on your profile.

If you think Hiccup is really cute, copy paste this on your profile; really, really, really, really, really, really cute!!! (:

If you think Camicazi is a billion times better than Astrid, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you're hopelessly addicted to chocolate, paste this into your profile.

If you appreciate the beauty of movie soundtracks and own at least one, paste this into your profile.

If you realize that by joining this site, you are a part of something special, paste this into your profile.

If you're a PJO ultimate fan or demigod, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your reading fanfics when your supposed to be studying for a major test the next day, and telling your parents your studying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

When life gives you lemons, make apple jucie and let life wonder how the heck you did it!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you think that girls are above boys, copy and paste it to your profile

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to your profile.

If you think that child abuse is wrong and should be stopped completely, copy and past this into your profile.

Profile your into this past and copy ,retard a like beginning the from this read actually you if. Now Read It Backwards

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

If you ever totally spaced out during some kind of sporting event and the other team scored a point because of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all your cut and paste things, and thought "DAMN! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

42 Things to do in an Elevator

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39.
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention

Things not to do at hogwarts! (yes hp is also cool!)

1. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

2. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an extra credit project for Herbology.

3. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.

4. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

5. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.

6. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

7. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

8. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless, tacky, and not a clever money-making concept.

9. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

10. Adding the name “Bueller” to Professor Binns’ roster is not funny.

11. “Springtime for Voldemort” is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

12. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.

13. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

14. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to “Get a room” whenever they start to fight.

15. I am not a tribble Animagus.

16. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

17. I do not weigh the same as a duck no matter what that Muggle movie says.

18. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

19. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

20. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

21. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.

22. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

23. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

24. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say “NI”. (you've gotta have watched the monty python to get it)

25. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.

26. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?”

27. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I it’s founder.

28. I am not allowed to order the kitchen house-elves to spit into all the food to “enhance the flavor”.

29. The proper way to report to my Teacher is “Yes, Sir” not “You can’t prove a thing!”

30. I am not allowed to add pictures of teachers I don’t like to Wanted Deatheater posters.

31. There is no house made of candy in the forbidden Forest and it’s wrong to say so to first years.

32. I shall not add “according to the prophecy” at the end of my sentences to raise my Divination grade.

33. I am not to ask Aragog how things with the wife are. Especially if his wife is Shelob.

34. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice. Not even if I am a witch.

35. I will not call my wand “an elegant weapon from a more civilized age”.

36. It’s just cruel to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached.

37. The four houses are not the Morons, the Barons, the Smartasses, and the Junior Death Eaters.

38. My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not “Gandalf”.

39. I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

40. Yelling “to infinity and beyond” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

41. I will refrain from calling Harry and Ron “Frodo and Sam” and the Weasley twins “Merry and Pippin”.

42. Telling Draco Malfoy to “Make like a ferret and bounce” is always a bad idea.

43. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.

44. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

45. I will stop sneaking out at night to look for Ents in the Forbidden Forest.

46. I am not allowed to flood the Chamber of Secrets, install an organ, wear half a mask and sing Andrew Lloyd Webber.

47. I will not tickle a sleeping dragon “just to see what happens”.

48. When being questioned by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce “These aren’t the droids you are looking for”.

49. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter’s Firebolt.

50. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.

51. I will not refer to the Accio Charm as “The Force”.

52. I will stop telling tree-huggers to go visit the Whomping Willow.

53. Loudly repeating “Voldemort Voldemort Voldemort” is not a good way to get the classroom quiet.

54. I must not sing “I’m off to see the wizard” every time I am sent to the headmasters office.

55. I must not throw Hermione’s copy of Hogwarts: A History out the window and then claim that it wanted freedom.

56. I will not tell Professor Trelawny that my teacup says she’s lying.

57. I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor tower is “Petrificus Totalus” and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.

58. I will not jump up, yelling “VOLDEMORT, RUN!” in the middle of a Order of the Phoenix or DA meeting.

59. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his “Happy place”.

60. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

61. I must not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.

62. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.

63. I will not set Ravenclaw house on the task of calculating the exact value of pi.

64. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.

65. I will not point out to the house-elves how much sushi could be made of the giant squid.

66. I will not dress like Neville’s grandmother when going to the Halloween Party in Snape’s class.

67. I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness.

68. I will not steal veritaserum from Snape’s store and add some to the teachers’ morning tea.

69. When asked a question by a teacher I will not point out that the answer is protected by a fidelius charm and I am not the secret-keeper.

70. Do not jump out at Mad-Eye Moody for a joke.

71. The phrase “Good dragon, nice dragon, please don’t kill me,” doesn’t work.

72. I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin!”

73. Making a fake journal and leaving it in Ginny’s dormitory is not funny.

74. I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.”

75. I will not tell Umbridge “Voldemort says, ‘Hi,’” every time I see her.

76. I should not tell Cho Chang Cedric came to me in a dream and wanted me to tell her something, but I woke up before he did.

77. I must not intentionally mispronounce Cho’s name as “Ho”.

78. I should not tell Umbridge that I have a kitten named “Fluffy” she would like to meet. But I will anyway.

79. I will not pay Professor Flitwick to run around yelling “Help, they’re after me lucky charms!”

80. I must not convince Cedric to wear a red shirt on the last task of the Triwizard Tournament.

81. My name is not “Dark Lord Happy Pants” and I will not sign my papers as such.

82. I will not follow my Potions instructions backwards “just for the heck of it”.

83. I should never ask Harry if his “Scar Senses” are tingling.

84. I must not lock all of the Gryffindor and Slytherin in a room and see which house comes out alive.

85. I will not call the Dark Lord “Tommy-boy”.

86. As Stan Stunpike learned, impersonating a death eater doesn’t “get you chicks”.

87. I will not crush up booger flavored jelly beans and put them in Draco’s pumpkin juice…after this time.

88. I will NOT bleach Lucius Malfoy’s Deatheater robes.

89. I must not fill Umbridge’s room with flies and then tell the headmaster “She was looking a little deprived, flies are what toads eat right?”

90. I must not call Potions “Home-Economics” in front of Professor Snape.

91. Telling Lockheart that there’s something in between his teeth will NOT get you out of DADA.

92. Do not ask Snape how to make a love potion!

93. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.

94. I will not hit on Hermione while Ron is in the same room.

95. Ron Weasley does NOT know Kim Possible.

96. I will not say, “What’s the sitch?” into the Order’s two-way mirrors.

97. I will not ask Snape who dumped him and made him so cranky.

98. A hug is not all Snape needs.

99. I will not splash water in Professor McGonagall’s face, expecting her to melt.

100. I am not allowed to set a troll loose because I think it needs some fresh air.

101. I can not call Professor Snape “the Sheriff of Noghtingham”.

102. I will not tell students that can’t see Thestrals that they are about to attack us.

103. Harry’s resemblance to Davy Croccet is purely coincidental.

104. Dropping a bucket of water on Snape’s head was only funny the first time…and the second…and third. But the forth time! No way.

105. I am not to sing “That’s So Raven” when passing Ravenclaws in the corridors.

106. I must not grind with my broomstick. (Tony Hawk style!)

107. I will not tell Hermione that the Hogwarts library has burned in a fire.

108. I must not tell Bellatrix that Voldemort got married.

109. I am not allowed to run my hands through Snape’s hair.

110. I must not tell Umbridge that some centaurs have invited her to a party.

111. I shall not tell Snape, “There is a thing called shampoo in the world.”

112. I must not yell “She-who-must-not-be-named is coming!” every time Umbidge walks down the hall.

113. I shall not say, “I heard that if you hug Voldemort he won’t kill you,” to the first years.

114. Professor McGonagall likes her milk in a glass, not a saucer.

115. Saying, “Here puss, puss, puss, puss, puss,” is not the best way to get McGonagalls attention during class.

116. Wolf whistling at Lupin when he walks by is not funny.

117. I must not bewitch the door to Professor Snape’s office so that it will only open if he says, “Business in front; party in the back!”

118. Convincing Peeves to go into suits of armor and say, “I am your father” isn’t funny.

119. Telling Slytherin first years that to enter their common room they must point their wands strait up and say, “Morsmordre” is just plain mean.

120. I will not bewitch Umbridge’s hand to take her special quill and write: “I am a pompous, ugly toad” 10,000 times.

At least, that’s what I’ll tell her.

In fact, make it 100,000!

121. When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, “There you are, Trevor. Neville has been looking all over for you.”

122. Dementors don’t like it when you walk up to them and ask if they are the Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come.

123. When someone pulls Godric Gryffindor’s sword out of the Sorting Hat, I will not say, “You have acquired the Master Sword.”

124. Saying, “Accio brooms” while first years are having flying lessons isn’t nice.

125. I am not to ask, “Voldemort: boxers or briefs?”

126. I am not allowed to say, “Accio Hermione’s panties!”

127. Mad-Eye Moody’s moto is “constant vigilance” not “custard pudding”.

128. I must not moon Professor Lupin. Even if his nickname is “Moony”.

129. I will not stick Bill Weasley’s hair to the ceiling with a permanent-sticking charm.

130. The resurrection stone is not materia.

131. Voldemort’s nickname is NOT “Filthy Half-Blood”.

132. “Rub-on aphrodisiac” is not one of the twelve uses of dragon’s blood.

133. i will not buy professer snape head n shoulders shampoo for christmas.

134. i will not skip down the hallway singing, "we're off to see the wizard!" whenever i'm sent to the headmasters office.

If you have wasted precious hours of your life reading this random crap that gets you a few giggles well... YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME!

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.

-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101.

95% of people would panic if the Jonas brothers stood on the roof of a 3 story building and said they were about to jump. If you are one of the 5 who would get all of your friends, some popcorn, and a soda and scream "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" copy this

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off

There are 3 kinds of people in this world. those who can do math and those who can't.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

Kids are the future. Be scared. Be very scared.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! but not my brain. I need that.

Therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

A idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

There's no 'I' in 'TEAM' but there's a 'U' in 'SUCK'!

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly

I did not hit you. I simply high-fived your face.

I didn't run into the door, my face decided to say hello.

I never finish anyth

People are like slinkies, basically useless. But it's still amusing to watch them fall down the stairs

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone.

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

50 OR SO AWESOME WAYS TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER WANNA BACKHAND YOU!!!

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG??” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!”

6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.

7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”

8. Don’t do your Homework.

9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.

10. When you have a substitute teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”

11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.

12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom.

13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”

14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.

15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!”

16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena

17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room

18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says

19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow

20. Speak in French.

21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”

22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well

23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."

24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt.

25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”

26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."

27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”

28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”

29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads.

30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”

31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”

32. Bring in a 4th Grader and says he’s your new pet.

33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.

34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them.

35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.

36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.

37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.

38. Glue all their scissors together.

39. Make paperclip jewelery. I.e. necklaces, earrings, etc…

40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”

41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’

42. Talk to a pen.

43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!”

44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.

45. Smile. All the time.

46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”

47. When a substitute teacher is taking attendance, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’

48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go "OOOHH I KNOW THIS!!"

49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot." To every question she asks.

50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favorite song.

ADDITIONALS

51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards the him/her!

52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!

53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply "ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!!"

54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout "I OBJECT!!"

55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder!

56. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats!

57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!

58. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. They must have found the body! HELP!"

59. When it's your turn to answer a question... Shout "NEXT!"

60. If you find a pencil on the floor, jump onto a desk, hold up the pencil, and yell, "LITTERING IS WRONG!! WHOEVER DROPPED THIS MUST BE PUNISHED!!" Then run around the room singing in a foreign language.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

4 ways to be KICKED out of a supermarket:
HILARIOUS !!

#1: If you can, write "I see dead people..." on the typewriters.
#2: Unwrap all the chocolate bars saying,"I've got to find that golden ticket.."
#3: Put a Dora The Explorer doll in the middle of the store and if someone tries to pick it up, jump out and say,"SWIPER NO SWIPING!"
#4: Throw Skittles at people and shout, "Taste the Rainbow!!!!"

100 Things to do if bored during class

1. Devise a secret code with your friends then hand in the homework in that code
2. Continually ask questions so that the professor can’t give homework
3. Answer the teacher’s questions in slow motion
4. Answer questions only with one word
5. Scream random words without anybody noticing it’s you
6. Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
7. Ask your professor personal questions
8. Every time the professor finishes talking clap
9. Eat paper
10. Talk very fast
11. Call the professor “Mom” or “Dad”
12. Count your hair
13. Talk with an accent
14. Answer questions in a different language
15. Fake spasms
16. Pretend to have a vision like in That's So Raven.
17. Draw cartoon characters of your classmates or of the professors
18. Quote Terminator
19. Write out plans on how to conquer the world
20. Pretend to Choke
21. Pretend to be drunk
22. Tap your feet on the ground loudly
23. Raise your hand for every question your teacher asks you but answer “Oh, I forgot”
24. Pretend to slip
25. Wink at the teacher
26. Wink at random people
27. Keep nodding at the teacher
28. Smile the whole lesson
29. When the teacher enters the room give a low bow
30. Pretend to sleep and snore loudly
31. Take off your shoes and socks
32. Ask your teacher where the potions room is
33. Ask the teacher where he/she is
34. Fake Fart Sounds
35. Ask the teacher for his/her phone number
36. Spill your pencil case/box on the floor
37. Pretend to be sick
38. Pretend to have photographic memory
39. Fake flashbacks
40. Tell people “I’m Pregnant”
41. Ask out the teacher
42. Sit on the teacher's seat and when he enters the room say "This is my seat"
43. Ask your teacher if he/she is a vampire
44. Sing your favourite song
45. Twitter the whole lesson
46. Pretend to be Indian
47. Write a love note to the teacher
48. Talk to yourself
49. Snort Eraser dust
50. When the teacher enters the room Scream “next”
51. When the Teacher enters the room ask for a refund
52. On your assignments write very small or extremely big
53. Act like a nerd
54. Pull a “Michael Jackson” and paint yourself white
55. Put some red ink on a ruler, then slash your wrists with it so people think you cut yourself
56. Talk in slang
57. Get into a fight with yourself
58. Pretend you are a gangster
59. Pretend you are high
60. Bring a bag of flour to school and on your desk make lines of flour and attempt to snort them
61. Once the teacher enters the room get the whole class to sing the national anthem
62. Act high
63. Stare at one object in the classroom for one lesson
64. Rate the teacher
65. Ask your teacher what 'chakra' is.
66. Touch a Plug and pretend to get electrocuted
67. When the teacher is counting (Math), recite random numbers.
68. Talk the same time as the teacher does, just as he/she says it.
69. Make odd animal noises
70. When the teacher enters the room scream "AGHHH!!"
71. Write down everything the teacher says while repeating what they say
72. Laugh Stupidly for no reason
73. Act as if you were blind
74. Sit on the floor and beg for money
75. Put Porn/Horror books on the teacher's table.
76. Lick your stationary seductively while staring at a person
77. Begin Cussing at your self
78. Talk in gangster rap
79. Challenge your teacher to a rap battle
80. Pretend to chew gum
81. Point out the window and say “LOOK EVERYBODY SPIDERMAN” once every one looks say “oh too late he’s gone now”
82. Write a love note and leave it on the chair when you change period
83. Play air guitar
84. Ask the teacher what's happening in an anime (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, Vampire Knight, etc.)
85. Say random facts about people
86. Go up to someone you have never talked to before then tell them “I have this problem for years now I can’t take it anymore”
87. Narrate your life
88. Beat box
89. Whistle at random things
90. Count random things
91. Pass notes to people you have no interest in
92. Ask personal details about people you would never have talked to
93. Play your favorite song in your head
94. Think of what the teacher’s life was like
95. Rhyme the last words of everybody’s sentences
96. Do stuff in slow mo, such as entering the room, sitting in your chair, finding stuff in your bag, answering the teacher, etc.
97. Search in your bag/binder for things you don’t have
98. Attempt to Find Nemo
99. Use photoshop and put your teacher's head on some random animal's body (Elephant, Hippopotamus, Spider, etc.), print out the picture, then leave the picture at your teacher's desk before he/she come into the room.
100. Ask the teacher personal questions

Why English is the hardest language to learn

1, The bandage was wound around the wound.

2, The farm was used to produce produce.

3, The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4, There is no time like the present, so he thought he would present the present.

5, When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

6, He did not object to the object.

7, The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

8,The oarsmen had a row about how to row.

9, he was too close to the door to close it.

10, A stag does strange things when the does are present.

11, After a number of injections my jaw became number.

12, The artist saw a tear in his painting and shed a tear.

13,She had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

14, An army chef decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Also...

There are no eggs in an eggplant, no apple or pine in pineapple.

Quicksand works slowly.

Boxing rings are square.

Guinea pigs are neither from Guinea or are pigs.

Writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham.

If a vegetarian eats veg, what does an humanitarian eat?

A slim chance and a fat chance are similar.

So are quite a lot and quite a few.

But overlook and oversee are very different.

You fill in a form to fill it out.

An alarm goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, you see their light but when the lights are out you see nothing

Read some very funny answering machine messages

These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now you say something.

5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

Check out some supposedly true and very funny answers in a written driving test

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Actual answers given by students on their test papers

Men are mammals and women are femammals.

Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.

Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars and eight cuspidors.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

Ponder these imponderables!

Imponderables

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What happens if you open it somewhere else?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

How can there be "self help GROUPS"?

Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?

Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?

Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?