Mrs. McMissile
 Hello, to whoever's reading this! I am here because of MonkeyLover422, so if you ever read and enjoy any stories I might write, thank her. :) I just want to say right away, I am a Roman Catholic. Just want people to know that. Secondly, I have more characteristics in common with a boy than a girl, so...yeah, my favorite color is blue, I hate pink, I enjoy violence and explosions...you get the idea. I love Cars, more like am obsessed, and I'm a nerd...I'm 15 years old...my birthday is October 5th... I mentioned MonkeyLover422? We're friends for this reason: We share the same passion for Finn McMissile. We're both practically in love with him. And MonkeyLover422 approves of this message. :) Just ask her. Anyway, copy and paste stuff! Yay! Words to live by: -The only thing to fear is fear itself...and spiders -Life is more fun when lived at random! -America succeeds when bad ideas fail -When life gives you Lemons, throw them back and say,"I wanted Finn McMissile!" -The only way to make your PC go faster, is to throw it out the window -Always give 100%...unless you're donating blood. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere) On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with everthing Disney, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, ihatejacob1, Blondejoke101 MyBFCanSparkle, Rockyrocks919, Mighty ANT MonkeyLover422 Things to Think About Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? The golfer goes (Whack) "Dang!" The skydiver goes, "Dang!" (Whack) If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Why do our noses run and our feet smell? Why don't we ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why dosen't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why do doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man that invests all your money called a broker? Why can't they make the plane out of the same substance that indestructible little black box is? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? So what's the speed of dark? Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? EMO= Extravagantly Made Origami If the sky is the limit then what is space, over the limit? Why is it called a TV set if you only get one? Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. I did what they said and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I? Don’t knock on Death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving isn't for you. When life gives you lemons,make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out how the heck you did it. It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with. WARNING:Do NOT follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls and off the occasional cliff. I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do, kill me? It's always in the last place you look...of course it is! WHY would I keep looking AFTER I found it? Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Parents spend the first parts of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country. The surest sign of intelligent life out there is that none of them has never tried contacting us. The computer beat me once at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Wierd is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you are obsessed with something childish for your age, copy this into your profile. If there are times where you DO annoy people just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into/onto/in your profile/bio. If you spend at least 3 hours a day looking at fanfictions...writing fanfictions...or looking at others profiles then copy and paste this on your profile! If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile. 37 Things To Do In An Elevator 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?" 2. Stand silent and motionless in one corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open by themselves. 4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them all to call you Admiral. 5. Meow occasionally. 6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Say "DING!" at every floor. 8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons. 9. Make explosion noises whenever someone else pushes a button. 10. Stare grinning at another person for a while, then say, "I have new socks on." 11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?" 12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13. Draw a little square with chalk on the floor then say to the other passengers, "This is my personal space." 14. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you. 15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug with the other passengers. Tell them that you will never forget them. 16. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones. 17. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi, Greg. How's your day been?" 18. Drop a pen and wait until someone bends to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20. Pretend that you're a flight attendant, and review emergency exits with the other passengers. 21. Swat at flies that don't exist. 22. Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it. 23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off. 24. Congradulate all for being in the same lift as you. 25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shup UP!" 26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently. 28. Let your cell phone ring--don't answer it. 29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." 30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when others don't. 31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?" 32. Also in your bellboy act, ask people what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!" 33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?" 34. Tell different people that you can see their aura. 35. When the door closes, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..." If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you like cartoons, video games, and animated movies even though people say you're too old for them and you don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that needs to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you honestly don't give a flying flip what anyone in any clique thinks about you, copy this onto your profile. If you ever wished that you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think Jacob takes off his shirt way too much in New Moon copy and paste this to your profile. If you're a bad athlete and proud of it copy and paste this to your profile. Life's too short to worry. If you believe this, copy it to your profile and write some of your own. If you've read a fanfiction, copy and paste this onto your profile. Huh, a lot of people haven't read fanfiction. If you've searched Google for the weirdest things, copy and paste this on your profile. This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try. First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it! 1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want. 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots. 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!) 6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key for the game... 1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game. 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 4. You care most about the person you put in 4. 5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. 10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true... If you don't it will become the opposite Why do we sleep in church, 80 percent of you wont repost this. Jesus Christ said: "If you deny me in front of your friends I will deny you in front of my father" Without GOD, our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday. Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today... Be honored to serve such a leader who loves us. If you believe in God and Jesus Christ His son... Then copy and past this on your profile. If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..." On Sears hairdryer: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a package of peanuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: On T-Rat (Military food): On the pole of an American Flag: Children don't care whether a person is a girl or a boy, black or white, pretty or ugly, different or the same. They will be friends simply because they get along. Children don't care about politics or religion. And yet they say adults are wiser. The girl you just called fat?... She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly?... She spends hours putting on her makeup hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped?... He is abused at home. See that man with the ugly scars?... He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun because he was crying?... His mother is dying. Bullying shouldn't be allowed, it destroys lifes, it kills, it hurts. Put this on your profile for the people out there who are bullied. Put this on your profile for the ones who died from bullying. Put this on your profile for the ones who have suffered worse than you. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION 3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL 4. My mother taught me LOGIC 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT 7. My mother taught me IRONY 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS 9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA 11. My mother taught me WEATHER 12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY 13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION 15. My mother taught me ENVY 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION 17. My mother taught me RECEIVING 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE 19. My mother taught me ESP 20. My mother taught me HUMOR 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT 22.My Mother taught me GENETICS 23. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS 24. My Mother taught me WISDOM 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." After a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. (Like Edward and Bella!!! LMON) Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her." So... that answers some questions Please read this. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. That wasn't me , but it did touch my heart. OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. A moment of silence. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever 1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3 I have used my talents, to make a difference Really? How can you fight a fire with fire? How can you stop a flood with water? Why do we use violence to stop violence? Copy And Past This To Stop Violence All Over The World. So We Have A World In The Future. True Story A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the ally she decided to take it. However, halfway down the ally she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. When she reached the end of the ally she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same ally just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact it could've been her she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the ally the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if they could do anything for her. She asked if she could ask him a question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the police man asked him he answered, "Because she was not alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe it or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God and 93 percent of the people who read this won't repost it? Repost if you believe in God. God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. If someone put a gun to your head, asked if you believed in God, and told you they would shoot you if you said yes, would you say yes? If you would, copy this onto your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ, put this on your profile and don't deny this because the bible says, "Deny me and i will deny you in front of my father in the gates of heaven." WHAT A KISS MEANS Kiss on the Stomach = "I'm ready" What the gesture means... --Advice-- --Requirements-- If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now I Am the Girl... I am the girl that begs my mom to let me stay up at night so I can finish a book I am the girl who once stayed up 'til 2:30AM just to finish a book I am the girl who hides in the locker room during school dances I am the girl who has over 100 books I am the girl who shouts out random facts that nobody knows or needs to know I am the girl who can read the biggest words correctly, yet she got an F on a spelling test I am the girl pushing Frankenstein (statue) at people's faces I am the girl that loves veggies I am the girl that hates choosing and has her friends do it for her I am the girl that wishes boys had secret crushes on her I am the girl that wishes she could have all the wishes in the world that would come true I am the girl who gets mad at herself if she can't get a dance move right I am the girl who gets picked on for dancing I am the girl who laughs just to see if boys could find it wierd so she could fix it I am the girl who belives that you shouldn't have a big quanity of friends, but good quality I am the girl who smiles when friends do something dumb for her FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Hold out their umbrella for you. FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. FRIENDS: Will offer to put your book away after class. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. FRIENDS: Would read ignore this. MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS: This is the stupidity test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that you have done! 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 66/100... HAVE YOU EVER... Smoked?: No, and I have no intention of ruining my lungs. Bungee jumped?: No, but I wanna! Made yourself throw up?: No... Ever been in love?: Does being obsessed with a character from a movie count? Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Don't think so... Lied: YEAH! More than I'm proud of...:( Fallen for your best friend?: ...That would make me gay... Rejected someone?: Yeah :( Used someone?: To go get me something? Done something you regret?: Oh, yeah. Someone really needs to invent a time machine... Ways to Annoy people at the cinema: Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. Clap when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. Yell out what is going to happen. Wear a cape and when it’s your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. Sit in the front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...) Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. Try to start a wave. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" Sing with the theme music. Bring and use your own air freshener. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing, "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!” jump on the floor, and cover your head. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by them self. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn. Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" Before the commercials start and people are just coming in, shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting, "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. Bring a pager or cell phone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes. Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending. If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Put this on your profile |
