Hmm...well...my name is meredith. i love random stuff -like my bff rachel!!- i love god...and johnny depp...and george weasley! my parents are not really for the whole harry potter thing but i secretly love it!! i go to a church called north palm ministries! we rock! i have alot of friends whom i love sooooo much and would do anything for!! -especialy rachel!- i love listening to random stories, i like telling random stories, i like tim burton movies...jk...I LOVE TIM BURTON MOVIES!!, i like watching that 70's show, i like watching the ellen degernes show, i like watching the golden girls -best show ever!!-, i bet there are some other things about myself i could tell you but i dont feel like typeing...or thinking. but i'll end up doing a survey and thats when you can read all about me and my fav things and all that crap.

:..0..( get ready for harry potter sadness...

In Remembrance:

In Remembrance to Severus Snape,

A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor,

In Remembrance to Fred Weasley, - I CANT BELIEVE HE DIED!! I CRIED! JK ROWLING WAS SICK FOR DOING THAT TO HIM! but i thank her for writing the series. and creating this amazing character...AND THEN DESTROYING HIM! WHY DID SHE DO THAT!? TEARS AND SNIFFLES-

Who fought bravely to the very end,

And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half,

And will loyally await his soul mate and brother,

With many jokes,

He's got forever to think of them, right?

In Remembrance to Dobby,

Who was more free and full of love,

Than any elf, and most humans.

In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin,

The last real Marauder,

Who was not just a wonderful father,

An incredible husband and a brave hero,

As well as an awesome warewolf,

In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks,

Who died for the greater good,

And would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora,

In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody,

Who's motto 'Constance Vigilance' kept him alive,

In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort,

Who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger,

But who got his ass kicked thoroughly in the end,

In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore,

Whose past and wisdom confused us,

Whose seeming betrayal shocked us,

But who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end,

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange,

Because it was awesome how Molly Weasley got her with the Avada Kedavra,

She deserved everything she got in the end,

In Remembrance to Colin Creevey,

Who we really didn't know too well,

But took a lot of pictures and died fighting in the war,

So he must've done something good...

Besides stalking Harry,

In Remembrance to Hedwig,

Harry's first real friend,

Who lived and died soaring.

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a girl!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

You say pink
I say Black
You say HSM
I say Sweeney Todd
You say Miley Cyrus
I say Helena Bonham Carter
You say Zac Efron
I say Johnny Depp
You say director of HSM
I say Tim Burton
You say light
I say dark
You say, golds
I say rubies
You say, sweet pies
I say meat pies
You say, I'm sooooo weird
I say, so I'm different

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae

~If kissєs wєrє raindrops
~I'd sєnd you showєrs
~If hugs wєrє a sєcond
~I'd sєnd you hours
~If smilєs wєrє watєr
~I'd sєnd you thє sєa
~If lovє wєrє a pєrson
~I'd sєnd you mє

Name:Meredith

Age: not saying

Occupation: not saying

Location Currently:Charleston SC

Hometown: Charleston SC

Natural Hair Color: brown

Current Hair Color:brown

Eye Color: greenish blueish

Height: Five 4?

Music: The ramones, The beatles, Led Zepplin, Green day, ect...

Hobbies: getting on my laptop, playing the bass guitar, watching movies, reading, DREAMING!!

Books: the boy in the stripped pajamas, a series of unfortunate events, the ring of fire, miles to go (but not a big fan of miley cyrus. i just heard the book was good.), my sisters keeper, house, monster, and a few others.

Authors: idk. i just read the books. i dont really pay attention to the authors...although i probably should pay attention because without the authors there would be no character!!

If you've ever wanted to give a movie or show character a flyingtacklehug, copy and paste this into your profile. ( SWEENEY TODD AND EDWARD SCISSOR HANDS AND GEORGE WEASLEY! I WOULD SO GIVE THEM A FLYINGTACKLEHUG!

If you are a fan of Johnny Depp not only because he's attractive, but because of his personality and his love for children etc...copy and paste this on your profile!

WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE AT WALMART!!

1. Take shopping carts for the sole purpose of filling them and leaving them somewhere else in the store.

2. Ride the little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Play football; see how many people will join.

5. Sing, in your loudest possible voice, "Sex and candy".

6. Walk up to an employee and in an official tone of voice say "We've got a code 3 in Housewares". See what happens.

7. Turn all the radios to the polka station, then turn them off, but turn the volume as high as it'll go.

8. Play with the automatic doors.

9. Walk up to complete strangers and say "Hi!! I haven't seen you in..." etc. and see how they respond.

10. While walking through the clothes department, say as loud as you can, "Who buys this crap anyway??".

11. Repeat number 10 in the jewelry department.

12. Leave small gifts in the hands of mannequins.

13. Play soccer with a group of friends using the entire store as your playing field.

14. As the cashier scans an item, say "Wow, magic!".

15. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" to carpeted areas.

16. Put M&M's on layaway.

17. Set up a tent in the camping department. Tell friends they can only come if they bring pillows from Bed & Bath.

18. Make all the calculators say "Hello".

19. When an employee comes and asks you if you need help, say "Why won't you all just leave me alone?!".

20. While looking at guns in the gun department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are.

21. While no one is watching, switch the signs on the men and women's restrooms.

22. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

23. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

24. Put a sign that says "Valet parking" in front of the store.

25. Two words: "Marco Polo".

26. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

27. When a someone gives an announcement, assume a fetal possition and start screaming, "No, no! not the voices again!".

28. When someone strays from their cart looking at something, take their cart and run away.

29. Follow people throughout the store staying about 5 feet away at all times until they leave the store.

30. Hold shopping cart races.

31. Challenge others to duels with the cylinders of wrapping paper.

32. Ask newly hired employees about made up products, i.e. "Do you have any Shnerples here?".

33. Ride the bicycles around claiming that you're taking it for a "test drive".

34. Ask employees, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?".

35. Leave messages on typewriters.

36. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

37. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

38. Lay on one of the bed displays with a rose and stare at everyone that walks by with a grin on your face.

39. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

40. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

41. Take bets on the battle from above.

42. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

43. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

44. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible

45. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

46. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

47. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

48. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

50 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE AT THE MOVIES!!

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can you fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.11. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
12. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
13. Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effect are.
14. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
15. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can’t change the channel.16. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
17. Every time a character’s name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino…)
18. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
19. Try to start a wave.
20. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.21. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
22. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, “No profanity!”
23. Sing with the theme music.
24. Bring and use your own air freshener.
25. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, “I’ll have two tickets for the Goonies.”26. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can’t get scraped off.
27. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
28. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
29. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, “Shh, I’m trying to read!”
30. Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.31. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
32. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
33. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, “Ahhh, whiplash!”
34. Ask what the theater’s return policy on popcorn is.
35. Ask the person at the ticket window, “Do you work here?”36. Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
37. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
38. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing “Let’s all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat”
39. Every time there is a gun shot scream, “Hit the floor!”, jump on the floor, and cover your head.
40. Wear one of those “cat in the hat” top hats.41. Get 3 people together and act like you are Crow, Tom Servo, and Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
42. Before the movie starts, stand up, and imitate the Truth commercial saying, “The makers of this film couldn’t find any way to make their characters rebellious, rockin, or cool so instead, they’ll just smoke.”
43. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, “Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!”
44. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
45. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.46. During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting “Hooters!”
47. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
48. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
49. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking.
50. Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting “Get your popcorn, peanuts!”

51 WAYS TO ANNOY REMUS LUPIN!!

1) Follow him around and keep asking the same stupid question no matter what answer he gives.

2) Follow him around chanting, “Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Remus stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"

3) Give him nicknames that are unrelated to his real name. Ex: Paul. Joe. Han Solo. Teddy Bear. Freddie.

4) Ask loudly where babies come from. Keep asking him even if he claims he won’t tell you.

5) On the off chance he gets frustrated enough to tell you where babies come from (previously mentioned on number 4), look offended and claim he’s not taking you seriously.

6) Whenever he’s done saying something snigger and say, “Yeah, like well ever believe that!” very sarcastically.

7) Poke him at random moments, and don’t give him a straight answer as to why you are doing it, either.

8) Laugh at any and all plans he comes up with.

9) Follow him around and tell people that he learned everything he knows from you.

10) Whenever anyone asks you about him say proudly, “Were all very proud of him- all of us in the insanity response unit, that is- we just got him potty trained, too.”

11) Tell Kingsley that Remus has a crush on him. Claim that there is hidden poetry in his room if he looks hard enough. Make sure Remus hears these claims. His reaction to this news will certainly start quite a few new rumours.

12) Go over to his house at the full moon and eat his entire hoard of chocolate in front of him.

13) Try to get him to sing girls just want to have fun by Cyndi Lauper

14) Point and laugh at him whenever he passes you.

15) Say bad things about him before he passes out of earshot.

16) Try to get him to start a conga line

17) Clearly in view, smack yourself on the head with something hard, then throw it by Remus and claim loudly that he has wounded you.

18) Kick him in the shins at random moments when he is not looking; then run away.

19) Tell Tonks that you heard him say that he expected her to be prettier when he found out she was a metamorphagus.

20) Wake him up early in the early hours of the morning with a bucket of water. Cold water.

21) Put his hand in warm water while he’s sleeping.

22) Cut his hair while he’s sleeping.

23) Take his stuff and hide it.

24) Go up to him and tell him you’ve done something to something in his room. See how long it takes him to work up the nerve to brush his teeth again (in fear you’ve dipped his toothbrush in the toilet).

25) Walk up to him and say, “Man, it feels good to be a hamster,” and walk away with no explanation.

26) Laugh at him in general.

27) Dye his hair rainbow colours by any means possible. See if he screams.

28) Make a comment about how he’s putting on a little poundage and see if he still continues to eat regularly.
29) Get him a puppy for Christmas. Claim that since he’s always wanted one, you finally raised the bar, from a hamster to a dog.

30) Get him a Chihuahua as the aforementioned puppy.

31) Spread outlandish rumours about him. (Ex: Yeah, I’ve heard he’s even dated a death eater. Or: I heard that to get out of a muggle prison once, the guards made him dress up as a girl and pout.)

32) Show up in his room before he goes to bed with warm milk and a lullaby in mind to help him sleep.

33) Mimic him in an especially childish way whenever he speaks.

34) Continue to ask why he isn’t as cool or good-looking as Sirius.

35) See how many rounds of ‘100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall’ he can take before he swears and draws his wand.

36) Claim 35 was you testing his mental endurance. Claim he failed spectacularly.

37) Whenever you discuss Remus' strange behaviour around you with others, always refer to him as she.

38) Replace all his clothes with dresses (or any other clothes that are obviously intended for a woman).

39) Replace all his weapons with hand made replicas you made with construction paper and glue, maybe even with tape (to give it a shinier look!).

40) Scream the name, “FRODO!” at him and then look disappointed when he doesn’t react. When he asks what a Frodo is, refuse to tell him because he didn’t recognize his Sam.

41) Tell him, “The cat crows at dawn and the horse screams at noon,” and see how he reacts to this little bit of randomness.

42) After you’ve finished telling him something, you must add (no matter what!) But it’s just a rumour. (Ex: Kingsley told me to tell you that you guys are leaving tomorrow, but it’s just a rumour.)

43) Tell him you’re leaving to see if he cries out of sheer joy.

44) See if he attempts to be polite about you saying you’re leaving (43-above) and tries to say something like too bad, or, I’ll miss you, or, You simply must write, or, Send me a postcard!

45) Make up his own theme song and sing it whenever he enters the room, or triumphs, or walks, or eats, or something, anything at all.

46) (In relation to 45) When he threatens to cut out your tongue if you continue to sing his theme song, smile say, “Oh all right,” and begin to hum it.

47) Offer him gum from one of those trick packs (you know, the ones that shock you or snap your fingers with a mini mousetrap).

48) Play knock and run at his bedroom door. When he inevitably refuses to answer, open the door, step in and holler “Honey! I’m hooomme!”

49) Scream, “You dropped your pocket!” whenever he’s duelling on the practice courts.

50) (In relation to 49) Give him your best, plastic-fake, commercial, poster-boy smile and say, “Great job you did on the practice courts today, even though you got hit on the head twice. Oh, by the way, you dropped your pocket.”

51) (In relation to everything on this list) When he tries to attack you and must be forcefully restrained, sigh and say, “I always said he was insane. I’ve known it for years,” even if you’ve only met him last month.

101 WAYS TO ANNOY VOLDEMORT!! (sorry i just love these-ways to annoy people- things. there soo funny!!)

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there...

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.

36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!'

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.

52. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...

63. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause'

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'

80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'

100. Let him catch you trying on Death-Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

50 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE IN AN ELEVATOR!!

1) When there's only 1 other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend that it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons & pretend they give you a shock. Smile & go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for the other people and push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you are on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you are waiting for a friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say "Hey Greg, How's your day been?"

6) Drop and pen & wait until someone goes to pick it up and then scream "NOOO THAT'S MINE!"

7) Bring a camera & take pictures of everyone on the elevator.

8) Bring a Twister mat and ask if people want to play.

9) Leave a box in the corner, when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

10) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

11) Stand really close to someone and sniff them occasionally.

12) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's ok! Don't panic, they will open again!"

13) Swat at flies that aren't there.

14) Call out, "Group Hug!" & then enforce it.

15) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut-Up, all of you, just shut up!"

16) Stand silently & motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

17) Stare at another passenger for awhile and then yell in horror, "Your one of THEM!" & then back away slowly.

18) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to other people.

19) Listen to the walls of the elevator with a stethoscope.

20) Make explosion noises when someone pushes a button.

21) Start, grinning at another passenger and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"

22) Draw a square in the corner with a piece of chalk and then say to other people, "This is MY personal space, don't invade or I'll bite you!"

23) Whistle the 1st 7 notes of "It's a Small World" over and over again.

24) Sell Girl Scout® cookies.

25) Sway from side to side the whole ride.

26) Shave.

27) Crack open your purse and while peering inside ask, "Do you have enough air in there?"

28) Offer name tags to everyone and wear yours upside down.

29) When you get to your floor try and open the doors yourself and act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

30) Greet everyone who comes in the elevator with a big handshake.

31) Do Tae Bo exercises.

32) When about 8 people are on the elevator moan.."Oh no! Not now! Damn motion sickness!"

33) Meow, occasionally.

34) Bet other people that you can fit a quarter up your nose.

35) Walk with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

36) Leave a box between the doors.

37) Start a sing-a-long.

38) When the elevator is silent ask, "Is that your beeper?"

39) Play the harmonica.

40) Say "Ding" at each floor.

41) Set up a chair and desk in the elevator, and whenever anyone gets on, say, "Hello! Welcome to my office. Do you have an appointment?"

42) Blow spit-bubbles.

43) Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

44) Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it is getting larger!"

45) Whenever someone steps in the elevator in a deep voice say, "GET OUT!"

46) Act like you are having a seizure.

47) Break dance to elevator music.

48) Jump at each floor to make the elevator bounce.

49) Drop a bag of groceries and look around like it was the other peoples fault.

50) If you made anyone feel uncomfortable by doing any of these things tell them "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!" When they ask if you are serious just look away & sulk.

WAYS TO ANNOY ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!!

Let a Dementor within Hogwarts grounds. Offer him a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. ...especially if there's a vomit-flavored bean in the bag. should there be no vomit-flavored ones, Transfigure every last jelly bean into vomit-flavored beans. Enchant the bag to follow Dumbledore around until he eats the beans. When he reluctantly accepts the Every Flavor Beans ("I should be safe with a nice toffee"), ask nim, "Want some emerald potion with that?" "You know, Aberforth should have been headmaster and you barman at the Hog's Head, not the other way around." Put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire. Tell everyone at Hogwarts that he and Ariana are going out. Let Voldemort teach at Hogwarts. Resurrect Percival, Kendra, and Ariana...and kill them a minute later. Polyjuice yourself into Draco Malfoy.Try to kill Dumbledore ("But you'll be with your family again"). Call him Ariana because of his long hair. Let Lucius work as a school governor again. Take off his clothes. Explain it's for Potter Puppet Pals. Make sure you take off his clothes in front of the whole school Become a Death Eater. Tell him Voldemort's the greatest wizard in the world, not him. Make lemon drops illegal. Hate Snape, criticize Snape, think he's a terribble teacher, and think he's not on our side. Note his liking for Dark wizards ("First Grindelwald, then Snape?"). "Dumbledore, you should have just stuck to teaching Transfiguration because as a headmaster, you hired Quirrel, you hired Lockhart, you hired Crouch Jr., you hired Umbridge...and you hired Snape." Break silences by asking, "What do you know about Horcruxes?" When he refuses to answer, go to Knockturn Alley, buy the book Secrets of the Darkest Art and put it in his library. Call his father a blood-traitor for marrying a Muggle-Born. Poison Fawkes. Destroy Hogwarts. Tell him Snape did it. Throw Bludgers at him in his sleep.

RANDOM JUNK...

YOUR REAL NAME:

Meredith

YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 4 letters of real name plus izzle)

Mereizzle

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Green Killerwhale

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on)
Reyna Darcyavenue

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your middle name)

henre (haha cool)

YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)

black rootbeer

YOUR ARABIC NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your middle name)

enrolza (haha..weird!)

YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (Parents middle names)

denise allen

YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Luna ( black moon..how cooliola is that?!...I NAMED MY DOG AFTER LUNA LOVEGOOD!!AAAH!!)

Best Friend Survey

1. What is their name?

Raaaachel!

2. How did you meet?

idk. it's been a long time!! but, i guess we met at church.

3. How long have you been friends?

since about 2,3, years old.

4. Can you tell this person anything in confidence?

probably not in confidence. but, i could tell her anything!...who's she gonna tell? her friends don't know me...except anna and bpu.

5. Do you trust them with your life?

yes

6. Do you love them?

DUH! ABSOLUTLY!

7. Has this person ever hurt you?

nope

8. Ever had a falling out?

a-a what?

9. Do you consider this person family, or are they family?

yes, i consider this person family! she's like the sister i never had!...i always wanted a sister.turns to brothers "zack, lance, why can't you be girls?"

10. Are they single?

yep

11. Have they ever dated someone you hated?

nope

12. Have you ever talked negatively about this person behind their back?

psh...psh...noooo...

13. Do you know their family?

yep, yep, yep!

14. D you still have sleep overs? If not, when is the last time you had a sleep over?

OF COURSE!

15. Funnest memory you share with this person?

when we stayed up til like, 7:00. We were talking about random stuff while laughing our butts off!

16. Worst memory you share:

idk...mine was seeing a dead lady on the side of the road...meat...bones...heart...organs...I THOUGHT SHE WAS WEARING ORANGE PANTS! THEY WERE NOT ORANGE PANTS!

17. Tell us a funny story that occurred with you and your best friend:

idk. we dont get out much.

18. Are they an only child?

nope. she has a moron of a brother, hunter. UGH!

19. Whats their favorite food?

it use to be spaghetti. i think its japanese know.

20. Whats their favorite color?

purple

21. Hey, how old is your best friend?

14. SHE'S GONNA BE 15 SOON!

22. Do they have kids?

no...she's 15.

23. Do you think you will be besties forever?

I certainly hope so!!

24. Have you ever been separated due to a move?

nope!

25. Do you miss your best friend right now?

...she lives like 5 minutes away.

26. Have you ever seen your bestie naked?

NOOOO! what kinda question is that?

27. Have they ever seen you in your birthday suit?

...what?! i'm 13! perv! once again, what kinda question is that?

28. Speaking of birthdays, when is your best friends birthday?

may 26

29. Whats their sign?

idk.

30. If they have siblings, do you get along with them?

i guess. i dont have much to do with him.

303 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

1. I will not poke Hufflepuff’s with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colours indicate that they are “covered in bees”.

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”

4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.

5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriate.

6. I will not go to class skyclad.

7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.

9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.

10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.

11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.

12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

13. Staring a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

14. I will not start every potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

15. “Liften Separatis Crotchum” is not a real spell.

16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.

17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.

18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as “bookends”.

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”.

20. I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.

25. Tricking the school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine even if I yell “Owned!”

26. I am not a sloth Animagus.

27. I am not a tribble Aimagus.

28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.

29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

32. I will not lick Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

34. The Ravenclaws are not “Mentals in training”.

35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazghul is coincidental.

36. I will not change the password to the prefect’s bath to “Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty”.

37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as “Admiral Naismith”.

39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.

42. “42″ is not the answer to every question to the O.W.L.’s.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not teach the first-years to sing “A Wizard’s Staff Has A Knob On The End”.

49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

51. I will not go to meals dressed as Choda Boy.

52. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.

53. I will not draw an “H” on Percy Weasley’s forehead.

54. My name is not Captain Subtext.

55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients and I will not resell their products as “Veela Pheremones”.

56. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as a “Big Black Sex Auror”.

57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.

58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.

59. I am not the Defence Against the Boring Classes Professor.

60. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.

61. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the result would be.

62. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labelled “Firewhiskey”.

63. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

64. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

65. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.

66. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.

67. I will stop referring to Hufflepuff’s as “cannon fodder”.

68. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

69. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

70. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

71. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.

72. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”.

73. I should not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine”.

74. I will not say the phrase “Dude, get a life.” to Lord Voldemort.

75. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

76. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts. And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

77. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.

78. Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.

79. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.

80. I will not use Slytherin first years as Christmas decorations.

81. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

82. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling “It Does DEATH!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should answer.

83. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

85. Ravenclaw’s do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for and indefinite time period” amusing in any sense.

86. I will not attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.

87. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.

88. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.

90. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

91. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.

92. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my
hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.

93. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.

94. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

95. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.

97. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

98. “OMGWTF” is not a spell.

99. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

102. I will not cast the occasional Obliviate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing.

103. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.

104. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.

105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.

106. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

107. I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

108. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

109. I will not douse Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible wearing it and standing near the fire in the common room.

110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.

111. I will not yell “Believe it… or not!” after any of Dumbledore’s speeches.

112. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.

113. My name is not “The Dark Lord Happy-Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

114. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.

115. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.

116. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

117. Voldemort is not Ganandorf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.

119. I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of “Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas feast.

120. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.

121. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sound with my wand.

122. “Draco Malfoy Takes it Up The Arse” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.

123. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

124. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.

125. I am not allowed to re-enact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.

126. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.

127. I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as Tim the Enchanter.

128. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.

129. I will not try and start Naked Thursdays in the Common Room.

130. It is not necessary for me to yell “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.

131. I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore’s office and use it to patrol the hallways.

132. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

133. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.

134. I will not teach the first years to play “The Penis Game” in the Great Hall during dinner.

135. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.

136. I will not organize a Hogwarts Fight Club.

137. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

138. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

139. I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a Dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do what I want.

140. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.

141. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

142. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice.

143. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.

144. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.

145. It is not necessary to yell “Burn!” everytime Snape takes points from Gryffindor.

146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

147. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout “I have the power!”

148. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

149. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell “Ni” from various directions.

150. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points.

151. I will not teach the front doors to recognise Filch and not let him in.

152. I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness.

153. I am not allowed to tell first years that there is a playground in the forbidden forest.

154. Giving Professor Snape a ton tongue toffee is unacceptable.

155. Singing ‘pop goes the weasel’ when Professor Dumbledore is giving a speech is not permitted.

156. I will not introduce Slytherins to ‘my pet dog Fluffy,’ no matter how tempting it is.

157. Shouting ‘How COULD you betray me like that?’ whenever Snape removes house points is forbidden.

158. I will not steal veritaserum from Snape’s store and add some to the teacher’s morning tea.

159. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his ‘happy place’

160. I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor tower is ‘Petrificus Totalus’ and must be said with their wands pointed at themselves.

161. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that my teacup says she’s lying.

162. I am not allowed to dress up like Neville’s grandmother when going to a Halloween party in Snape’s dungeon.

163. The forbidden forest is forbidden because it contains werewolves and acromantula, not because there is a secret cave with the answers to every test, and I should refrain from telling the first years that there is.

164. A bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove otherwise.

165. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

166. I will not shave Mrs. Norris

167. The house elves are not there to do my homework

168. There is no bring a muggle to school day

169. I must stop telling 1st years about the time the Hogwarts Christmas tree ate a student

170. I must not throw Mrs Norris out windows

171. Telling Draco Malfoy to 'Make like a ferret and bounce' is always a bad idea.

172. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.

173. I must not throw Hermione’s Hogwarts: A History out the window and then claim that it wanted freedom.

174. I must not leave shampoo on Professor Snape’s desk with directions on how to use it.

175. I will not tell first years that the best way to study is to stay up all night balancing your textbook on your head, as gravity will cause the information to sink through the skull and into the brain.

176. I will not take a hippogriff to the Summer Olympics to get an unfair advantage at the Equestrian competitions

177. I will not use magic to change test questions into those I can answer

178. The proper way to report to my Teacher is “Yes, Sir” not “You can’t prove a thing!”

179. A hug is not all Snape needs

180. When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, “There you are, Trevor. Neville has been looking all over for you.”

181. I will not tell Snape he is emo/goth just because he likes wearing black.

182. Harry Potter is not my 'Protection Shield' to carry around to ward off evil.

183. I will not introduce Peeves to IM.

184. I will not introduce Snape to IM.

185. I will not tell McGonagall that she is bad luck because she can turn into a cat.

186. I will not introduce Peeves to a T.V.

187. I will not tell Filch that he needs to bathe once in a while.

188. I won't sign my homework as 'Snaperdoodle'

189. When answering questions in Snape's class, I won't finish my sentences saying: 'dear Snaperdoodle'.

190. I will not hand out slips of papers asking students to answer the following question: Do you think Snape is evil?

191. I will not make a 'Too sexy for my shirt' slideshow full of Snape pictures and show it during all of my classes.

192. I will not tell the first years, who are waiting to be sorted, that in order to be sorted, you must confess your deepest secrets aloud while wearing the hat.

193. The "I Hate Snape" Club is not a valid after-class activity.

194. Making Harry Potter action figures without his permission is wrong.

195. I will not tell Grawp that "Hermy" will give him a kiss if he eats certain
members of the faculty

196. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little pony."

197. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

198. I will not attempt to set up a satellite dish on the Astronomy Tower

199. There is no Interpretive Dance course offered at Hogwarts, and I should stop
signing up for it every year.

200. Yes, the Great Hall is extremely large, but Quidditch is an outside sport.

201. I will not demonstrate how to juggle using two Bludgers and the Snitch

202. I will not enter the great Hall running and yelling “We’re gonna Die” each time Snape comes to a meal.

203. I will not make farm animal noises in the back of Care for Magical creatures

204. I will not tell first years that divination is their 5th sense

205. Looking after a virtual pet is not a way to gain extra marks in care for magical creatures.

206. In the annual battle between death eaters and Hogwarts I will not sing “99 death eaters alive in the war, 99 death eaters alive. You shoot a spell they hit the ground. 98 deaths eaters alive in the war” as we fight.

207. Harry does not wish to wear a tutu to lunch and I should not make him.

208. I will not put black circles over Harry’s lenses and tell him he has gone blind. No matter how funny it could get.

209. I will not sing “ebony and Ivory” whenever I see Dean and Seamus together.

210. I will not tell first years Fang is a hell hound.

211. I will not post notices in common rooms saying that tomorrow is a theme day,
wear a costume. Even if it may be vegetable day.

212. “Another one bites the dust” is not a song to sing during quidditch matches.

213. The first few lines of Mama by MCR is not the best song to be singing during first year sorting,

214. I will not tell students singing the fat Albert theme song is a way to gain extra points on potions

215. I will not laugh at Sirius if he changes his middle name to 'Lee'.

216. I will not laugh at Lupin’s 'time of the month'.

217. I will not offer Crabbe and Goyle a cupcake with Veritiserium.

218. I will not make fun of Harry and his 'Potter Senses Tingling'.

219. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor

220. I will not cast 'Petrificus Totalus' on myself in order to avoid going to classes.

221. I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class.

222. All's fair in love and war" is not an official rule of Hogwarts

223. I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyle by calling them by each other's names.

224. Even if I myself to do not believe in it, I will respect that the school observes daylight savings time.

225. Watching "The Food Network" is not equivalent to sitting NEWT-level Potions classes.

226. Mr. Weasley's flying car is not to be taken apart piece by piece and rebuilt inside Snape's classroom

227. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another house

228. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.

229. I will not tell first years that "any true wizard or witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they "obviously aren't cut out for this school".

230. Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".

231. I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

232. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

233. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

234. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Snape's office door

235. Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'

236. Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable

237. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.

238. Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere.

239. Yelling BOO! at Professor Moody is not wise.

240. I am not allowed to use the superglue spell to stick Harry and Draco's hands together

241. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice.

242. Saying the Dark Mark should be the Slytherin Crest is wrong.

243. When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"

244. "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell

245. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

246. I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real father.

247. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

248. I am to stop asking Professor Snape to Yule Ball.

249. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.

250. Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

251. I am not allowed to predict the end of the world more than once.

252. I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.

253. Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.

254. I will not attempt to graft a transplant from the Whomping Willow onto the Hogwarts Christmas Tree in Herbology class.

255. I will not try to make a new basilisk for the Chamber of Secrets

256. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as “Kitchen Stadium”.

257. “Potter 6, Voldemort 0″, is not a valid T-shirt slogan

258. I will not pay Peeves to rewrite the school-anthem!

259. If Lupin requests something of me, it is considered very rude to refuse by replying, “Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!”

260. Telling Umbridge cardigans are so 1994 will get you in trouble.

261. I must never tell Ron he looks like a puffer fish.

262. I am not allowed to sing "Holding Out For A Hero" whenever Harry Potter enters the room.

263. Putting fake spiders around Ron’s bed isn’t funny. Especially when he tries to jump out of the window.

264. It probably isn’t smart to ask Draco Malfoy if his hair glows in the dark.

265. No matter how cool it sounds I will not release pixies into the school - it will just end badly.

266. I will not use muggle hair dye to dye Draco Malfoy's hair red.

267. It is not a good idea to charm the furniture in the potions classroom to be pink and fluffy.

268. I will not owl Voldemort a bottle of anti-depresents.

269. I will not make Snape an appointment with a muggle psychiatrist.

270. It is not a good idea to ask Snape if he is off his medication when he is angry. Or ever.

271. After using the hair dye on Malfoy, I will not attempt to claim him as the long missing Weasley brother.

272. I will not tell the first years that it is customary to dye their hair in their house colours for their first day of lessons.

273. A lightning bolt tattoo is NOT the 'Light Mark'.

274. Selling memorabilia with photographs of the 'ferret incident' is not allowed.

275. There is no annual 'Dress Like Dumbledore' day.

276. I will not re-enact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall.

277. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

278. I am not allowed to wear Death Eater robes to dinner and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think its funny.

279. I will not replace Professor Snape’s pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

280. I may not speak Latin in front of the books.

281. I may not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.

282. I am not possessed by the ghost of Lady MacBeth

283. Neville is not my valet.

284. There is no “open-mic night” at Hogwarts

285. It is not a good idea to give Malfoy a “love note” from Ginny and vice versa,

286. It is not a good idea to show the notes to Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass

287. It is a horrible idea to introduce “colour war” to Hogwarts with Slytherin as green, Hufflepuff as yellow, Gryffindor as red and Ravenclaw as blue.

288. On no circumstances can you introduce rabid fan girls to Harry potter.

289. You must not mix Ravenclaws with muggle geeks or Slytherins with popular people that are muggles. Or Blair Waldorf.

290. I am not to make a waterfall in the astronomy tower so I can surf down after class.

291. I am not allowed to change the Slytherin banner in the Great Hall to a pink and blue banner with a teddy bear on it.

292. Easter in Hogwarts is not to be celebrated by releasing hordes of pink rabbits and making the first years chase them.

293. I am not God.

294. Professor Dumbledore is not God.

295. Despite being near-omniscient, Professor McGonagall is not God.

296. Neither is Harry Potter.

297. I am not the founder of a new religion, in which Snape is the devil and Weasleys are the chosen people and are to lead the followers to the light.

298. I cannot make the followers of Weasleyity have red hair and freckles.

299. The Thriller is not the school dance.

300. I may not borrow an extra wand and watch DRUMLINE too many times. The results are too unpredictable, and Professor Flitwick would like his nose back some day.

301. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

302. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".

303. I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.