Hi, I'm Luna Dare!

I enjoy Reading, acting, writing, drawing and singing. I write all kinds of stories some of wich are very sad. I love Percy Jackson!

I'm going through a percy jackson and the Olympians obsession at the moment and try to take one of the books with me every where i go incase you know... i get... bored to death! Any way i cant decide who my favorite charecter is now because i like them all. I tend to write with what i think is too much decriptions sometimes. So this is just a heads up. Also I'm not the biggest fan of the twilight series but as long as it isn't too bad i guess I will read it.

I love NCIS and im pretty sure McGee is my favorite!!!

you say jonas brothers, i say Blink 182

you say britney spears, i say Green Day

you say miley cyrus, i say Linkin Park

you say Backstreet boys, i say Sum 41

you say pop, i say rock/punk

92% of kids have turned to rap or pop

If your one of the 8% still listening to real music copy and paste this

NCIS Proverbs.

Never underestimate your mother in law, even if you are a sniper.

Keep your loved ones close, your enemy closer and that long-haired lawyer on the tightest leash imaginable.

Always keep an eagle eye on what Ducky selects to wear as his tie.

All murder is evil, unless it is Gibbs, his mother-in-law, his ex-boss or his ex-lover engaged on a totally meritorious act of revenge

When you take a bullet to the vest, stay down and rest. It might save your life.

If you leave the door open, the iguana might come in.

Never trust a politician, even if he is an ex-Marine.

Raise your daughter to be a killer so that your grandaughter is free to be a pacifist.

Never mess with the family, and Gibbs' team is family

Never mess with silver-haired snipers.

If you think Gibbs' wrath is something to fear, CBS' wrath over spoilers will melt your eyebrows.

Look not for spoilers in the NCIS wiki universe, for anticipation is the delight of the happy soul.

If she is good looking, a doctor, and Ducky is attracted to her, then she is 99 per cent certain to be the villain.

It is OK to look like a goof-off, so long as you are actually hard-working underneath

A steel - eyed stare is worth a thousand nagging words.

We may not believe in coincidence, but we do believe in bad luck, and, when it comes to choosing red-haired wives, serial bad judgement.

With Gibbs, your secret will be safe, but you will know that he knows, and he will know that you know that he knows, and he will know that you will do what he wants, without him even having to say anything because he knows your secret.

Two negatives can make a positive but two positives never make a negative.

Some people are born great, some people have greatness thrust upon them... and some people are DiNozzo.

Human lie detectors come in nice packages, silver wrapping, and are called "Gibbs".

A slap to the head is a wake-up call, but a slap to the face is an insult.

Do not believe in coincidence, but do not dismiss bad luck.

He who hesitates has a long time in heaven to ponder the choice they ought to have made.

When choosing a password to the tree house of life, "Semper Fi" will do nicely.

Only cowards attack when someone is down, but only fools confuse "down" with "out".

A hero is someone who has the opportunity to take advantage of an innocent... and doesn't take it.

No pressure, no diamonds.

Opportunity is often missed, because it is dressed in overalls and looks like hard work. Tony's talent is often missed because it is dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and looks like fun.

Wannabees "box" but marines "fight".

McGee theory of success: exploitation of co-workers is not exploitation so long as you remain in denial about the inspiration for the characters in your novel.

The heart that protects itself from future pain, protects itself from current love.

If you insist on NCIS, you kiss away boredom.

It is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

Ask not what the boat in the basement does for you, but what you can do for the boat in the basement.

It's the fall that's gonna kill you.

A Ducky ducking questions is a Mallard on a mission.

A Mallard with a Morgan is a Ducky driven to perfection.

At the heart of every forensic technician is a woman looking for the prints among men.

It is no good being made Director if you cannot even direct your own heart.

Ask not for whom the law applies, it applies for thee.

Well might we say "Semper Fi", but we shall always assume that people lie.

Even when Ziva snores loudly, it is better to let sleeping killers sleep than wake her to reap the silence of eternity.

Ass-kissing on the Hill may be a skill, but being true to yourself is rare talent.

"Fair winds and following seas" are wished to sailors such as me, but "may your love stay strong and true" is what the sailor hopes of you.

Why dazzle them with brilliance, when you can baffle the Boss with Geek Speak?

"Once a Probie, always a Probie, unless someone new comes in after you, then you're not the Probie" Tony to McGee
when he first became part of the team.

" When the going gets tough, the tough go clubbing." (DiNozzo)

To assume makes an ass out of you and McGee.

Never mess with a Marine's coffee.

"If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you always got." (Tony)

If at first you don’t succeed, next time make McGee do it.

Don’t judge a book by its cover or DiNozzo by what he wears.

Don't mess with a woman that can leave no forensic evidence.

If tire tracks are an important evidence, the tire it came from is most likely to have been made exclusively for a specific brand / model / year of car.

Sometimes you are wrong.

In this you basically bold what applies to you and see whether you are prep, goth, geek, hardcore, punk, or athletic

PREP

X You own a cell phone
X You own something from Abercrombie.
X You own something from Pac sun.
X You own something from Hollister.
X You own something from American eagle.
X You love/like going to the mall.
X You own an iPod/MP3 player.
X You love Starbucks.
x you have been called a brat.
X You hate buying things that are on sale.
X You have more than one house.

Total: 4

GOTHIC

X Black is one of your favorite colors.
X You have thought about death.
X You wear chains.
X You like heavy metal.
X You’ve shopped at Hot Topic.
X You have worn black lipstick.
X Your hair was/is dark.
X You dislike preps.
x you’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic.

Total: 5

PUNK

X You can skateboard
x you’ve worn plaid.
X You like Converse.
X You hate MTV.
X You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
x you dislike pink.
X You dislike preps.
x you wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

Total: 5

GEEK

X You love the computer.
X You like Harry Potter.
X You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
x you get straight A's.

X You love/like reading.
X You were/are in band
X You don't care what you look like.

X You have a curfew.
X You always do your homework.

Total: 4

ATHLETIC

X You watch/watched the Super bowl.
X You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
X You collect your jerseys.
X You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.
X You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
X Your garage consists of sports equipment.
X You belong/belonged to a school team.
X You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
X You have a specific number.

Total: 2

HARDCORE//SCENE

X You like loud music
X You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
X You never walk anywhere.
X You wear slip-on shoes.
X You wear/wore Vans.
X You like the band Panic! At the disco.
X You wear band t-shirts.
X People have called you a freak and meant it.
X You love to "hardcore" dance.
X Hair has been died more than 1 color

Total: 3

I guess that this means that I'm Gothic and Punk which i have no problem with!

Copy and paste this acronym if you love Percy Jackson:

Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.

Atlas. Zoe's father.

Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.

Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Ichor. The blood of the gods.

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp

The Lightning Thief Prophecy:

You shall go west and face the god who has turned.

You shall find what was stolen and see it safely returned.

You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend.

And you shall fail to save what matters most, in the end.

The Sea of Monsters Prophecy:

You shall sail the iron ship with warriors of bone,

You shall find what you seek and make it your own,

But despair for your life entombed within stone,

And fail without friends, to fly home alone.

The Titan's Curse Prophecy:

Five shall go west to the goddess in chains,

One shall be lost in the land without rain,

The bane of Olympus shows the trail,

Campers and Hunters combined prevail,

The titan's curse must one withstand,

And one shall perish by a parent's hand.

The Battle of the Labyrinth Prophecy:

You shall delve in the darkness of the endless maze,

The dead, the traitor, the lost one shall rise.

You shall rise or fall by the ghost king's hand,

The child of Athena's final stand.

Destroy with the hero's last breath,

And lose a love to worse than death.

THE GREAT PROPHECY:

A half-blood of the eldest gods,

Shall reach sixteen against all odds.

And see the world in endless sleep,

The hero's soul, cursed blade shall reap.

A single choice shall end his days.

Olympus to preserve or raze.

THE NEXT GREAT PROPHECY:

Seven half-bloods shall answer the call.

To storm or fire, the world must fall.

An oath to keep with a final breath,

And foes bear arms to the Doors of Death.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my readymade fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace and Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think being unique is better than being cool, you know the drill

If your wondering why I'm wasting my time on my profile instead of writing stories Copy and Paste this to your Profile.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

92% of the teenage population would be dead if the Jonas Brothers decides breathing wasn't cool. I am one of the 8 that would be laughing hysterically in the background.

90% of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing at the edge of a six story building. Post this on your page if you would be one of the 10 of people who would be yelling "Jump, Jump!"

If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name

Shorty/Kris

KG/Lizzy

Wisegirl101/Lindsay

WiseOne27

SeaweedBrain013/Sebz

CloudyAlore/Faye

XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells

xXthe shadow huntressxX

annapercy1

Hula

The New Ace of Spies

7Cerberus7

Storyteller-221/Kali Lennor

AthenaPersephone14

Laserfire

JBaddict1234

SeaweedGirl1

Goddess of Discord and Cookies/Kristen

Luna Dare

The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy
whenever Im at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''

I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remembe Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.

yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go

(((((True love)))))
A guy and a girl were riding on a motorcycle...
Girl: slow down i'm scared.
Guy: no this is fun.
Girl: no it's not please it's way to scary!
Guy: then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you now slow down.
Guy: now give me a big hug.
She gave him a big hug.
Guy: can you take off my helmet & put it on yourself? it's bothering me.

-In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for a person you love then copy this into your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN:

1) You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.
2) You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.
3) You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.
4) You know which pages the good parts are on.
5) You suddenly hate thunderstorms.
6) You start hearing Perachel in every song you hear. (Or something else)
7) You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.
8) You start figuring out who your godly parent is. (I’m a child of Kronos or Hades, gasp.)
9) You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.
10) You have a plan to get out of school early on May 5th so you can buy The Last Olympian, read it, and still have time to do your homework. (I'm going to see if I can get it at 12:01 am)
11) You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.(totally!)
12) You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes. (Not like I take notes)
13) You start spelling character names out of your spelling words.
14) You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.
15) Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information. (Sadly yes)
16) You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue. (Good idea!)
17) You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.
18) The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJATO?”
19) On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument. (This hasn’t happened yet, but it will.)
20) You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat. (ok I don't go on boats much)
21) You dream about PJO every night. (Yes)
22) You curse a god/goddess a lot (Oh Zeus is one I use a lot)
23) You have mone (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room (To many to count)
24) You know PJO better then most sane people
25) You have links to every great PJO site (Fan sites included)
26) You add things to the list every day (Or week, or minute)
27) You know what you would do if you were Percy.
28) You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not (Gods stay good! Marry Annabeth!)
29) At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future (Most of mine, about 3/4)
30) You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work(totally)
31) For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Myth-O-Magic cards and they understood(wanted to do that)
32) Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'(sooooo did that)
33) You are trying to learn Greek(I'm not that bad actually)
34) You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip. (My class went to a space place, felt like TC a little, then when we went on another trip, I had a major thought about LT)
35) Every language you know is some form of Ancient greek.
36) You shriek everytime you see a guy with black hair and green eyes
37) You have an instant crush on Nico!
38) You just have to research more about greek mythology.
39) You call up the Camp Half Blood number in LT
40) You yell at Percy for being such an idiot some times.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, FangsTrashcanOfDoom, Luna Dare

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.

You've got a book memorized.

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional.

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.

You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock.

Your idol is a character from a book.

I am a book addict and proud of it!!! If you are one too, copy and paste this on your profile.

“I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there is noooo way paper can beat rock! Is paper supposed to magically wrap itself around the rock and leave it immobile? If so why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't there pieces of paper constantly suffocating people as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, cause paper can't beat anything! A rock would tear that crap in seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors I always pick rock. Then when some claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face and say ‘Oh sorry I thought paper would protect you!!’”

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

J.K. Rowling proved that some young adult novels can be over 500 pages. Stephanie Meyers proved that some shouldn't be.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought...?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because...?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.)
On a sunflower seed packet: "This is not a peanut product." (I always thought peanuts came from sunflowers until now,of course.)

ONLY IN AMERICA...
...can a pizza get delivered to your house sooner than an ambulance can
...are there handicapped parking spaces in front of a skating rink
...do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while the healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front
...do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet coke
...do banks leave both doors open, but chain the pens to the counter
...do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, and worthless stuff in the garage
...do we buy hot dogs in packages of 10, and buns in packages of 8
...do we use the word 'politics' so freely: Latin: 'poli' meaning many, and 'ticks' meaning blood sucking leaches
...do they have drive up ATM's with Braille lettering

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your a child of Posedion, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.