I am currently a high school student with quite a large sum of free time now that it's summer. My favorite hobbies include drawing, writing, listening to music, reading, acting, fooling around on musical instruments, and drinking tea. Mostly I enjoy unique or antique things. We've moved around rather frequently, so I've experienced many varying climtes and natural disasters. My favorite authors include J. K. Rowling, Lemony Snicket, Stephenie Meyer, J. D. Salinger, Anne Rice, Roald Dahl, and J. R. R. Tolkein. In my lifetime I have never once consumed a radish, however I plan to someday. That's pretty much everything there is to know about me.

Say Hello to Mr. Alfagabanagio o

~"~Ye Olde List of Randomness~"~

1. Walrus whiskers

2. Jell-O molded into dinosaurs

3. Totem poles devoted to eagles

4. "It's A Sunny Sunny Day" (which truly is a song)

5. Holden Caulfield's hat

6. Alphabet Acrostic Books/Posters

7. The decorative shutters outside people's windows that can never be shut

8. Zen garden rakes

9. Wall decals shaped like random swirls and/or leaves

10. Tennis shoe tounges

11. The photos inside picture frames when you purchase them

12. Cereal box prices

13. The names of minerals

14. The smell of nail polish

15. Multi-colored flourescant lightbulbs

16. A sandwich

17. Plots that include a quest or some arbitrary relic of great importance

18. Pretty ponies

19. Sauerkraut

20. The ridges in the bottoms of row boats

21. Chinese restraunt names

22. Purple boxes

23. The letter "c" atop the yellow joystick on Gamecube controllers

24. Fishing lures

25. The tags on Ugly Dolls

26. That the numbers on digital clocks are always red

27. Badmitten

28. Grass skirts

29. Antique clocks

30. #2 Pencils (where are the #1 pencils?)

If you read this whole list, pat youself on the back and you receive a gold star for your willingness to waste time reading fanfiction bio lists.

Comcerning Twilight's Kindergarten- I have drawn a picture of Bella so that you might better understand what she looks like, however sadly I have no scanner, so it shall remain locked away in my scrapbook of lonely sketches. :( But do not fear, eventually I shall post it.

There once was a young chap who was walking to school on his very first day of school. In the parking lot outside the establishment he spied a cluster of older children snickering about someone saying magenta, so he decided to investigate further. He walked up to them and asked one of the kids, "What's magenta?" To this the elder boy said, "Why don't you go ask your teacher?" Upon answerind this question the whole gang of boys broke out laughing hysterically shooing the little lad away. Still being curious as to what exactly this word meant, the kid hurried along to his classroom.

Once entering the room he located his teacher, a middle aged woman with her hair pulled strictly into a bun and red rimmed glasses perched percariously atop her nose. The boy approached her while she stood at the chalk board elegantly writing some assignment. "Miss, excuse me" the kid mustered as he tugged on the intimidatingly tall lady's dress. She spun around to face him in a friendly fashion and addressed him, "Hello, my name is Ms. Adams, what's your name?" Feeling slightly in awe at her kind tone the boy responded, in a less frightened manner, "I'm Andy, and I've got a question". Ms. Adams alotted her complete attention to his statement and nodded encouragingly. "Well um, I was walking to school and some kids said this word and they told me to ask you what it meant. So wha't s magenta mean?" After the word left his mouth the previously pleasant Miss Adams' jaw dropped in shock and suddenly a venomous look leaked it's way onto her features. "Magenta!?" she menacingly shouted while dragging an exceptionally confused boy to the principal's office.

Miss Adams burst through the heavy wooden door only to startle a stout man, causing him to drip coffee all down the front of his suit. "What is it Miss Adams?" inquired a particularly annoyed fellow. "You have no idea what this boy just said to me! Tell him! Tell him everything!" she screamed at poor little Andy, never easing her grip on his collar. "Go on boy" the principal muttered, rather uninterested as he began wiping the coffee stain from his otherwise immaculate appearance. "OKay, so on my way to school I saw these guys laughing about a word and I asked them what it was and they told me to ask my teacher, so I did, and she screamed and said for me to come see you". Still infatuated with the spot on his outfit, the man blandly said, "What word was it son?" To this Andy eagerly replied, anxious to find this word's true meaning, "Magenta", to this the principal merely shouted at the top of his lungs with an outraged emotion on his features, "MAGENTA!? You are EXPELLED young man! go home!" By now, poor little Andy was terribly confused and still yearned to know what this ominous word meant, so he trudged home, quite sad that he already had been banned from school.

Once he arrived at home his father rushed up to him and asked, "WHy aren't you at school? Is everything alright?'

i see a little sillouetto of a man, Gotta mush gotta mush can you do the fandango? Thunder bolt of lightning very very frighntning thing!! GALILEO galileo GALILEO galileo let me goooo magnifecooooo he;s just a poor boy from a poor family spending his life with this monstrocity I'm jsut a poor boy no body loves me... Let him gooooo we will not let you go let him go letme go goooooon no no no mama mia let me go! The devil put aside for meeee for me! for meeeeeeeeeee dod do dod do so you think you can stop me and spit in my eye! can't do this to me baby! just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here! ...OH yeah, ohhh yeah...NOthing really matter, anyone can see, nothing really matters, nothing really matter to meeeeeee

after becoming bored with that story I decided to skip to the end...

The little lad ends up being kicked out of his house, screamed at by a hobo, put in jail, moved to his own cell, and eventually released from prison. When he leaves jail to start his life again he goes to a little convienience store to get some food. The clerk informs him that a man who lives in an ancient house can tell him what the "m" word means, so the kid goes off there. In his state of complete happiness he becomes rather excited about meeting this man. Finally he is skipping to the elderly man's abode wearing an immensly huge smile concentrating only on finding the answer to his question finally when, BAMMM! he gets run over by a car. The moral of the story is, Look both ways before crossing the street.

~The End~

Twilight Abbreviations... (Created by myself and various other Twilighters)

OMDE = Oh My Dazzling Edward

OMHJ = Oh My Hot Jacob

OMCB = Oh My Clumsy Bella

OMEJ = Oh My Emotional Jasper

VFD = Victoria Fights Deadly, Very Frightening Demetri, Vampires Flirt Delightfully

LOL = Laurent Owns Loveliness

LOTV = Lord Of The Voulturi

CSI = Carlisle Scene Investigation

NASA = National Aro Space Association

UNC = University of North Cullenlina

CEO = Cheif Edward Officer

WWII = Werewolf War II

MP3 Player = Mike's Poodle 3 Player

Ph.D = Doctor of Phil-osophy

SOS = Save Our Swan

BFF = Bella's Freind Forever

BS = Bella Swan

BBC = British Broadcasting Carlisle

OCD = Obssessive Cullen Disorder

ADD = Alice Defficit Disorder

MPD = Marcus Personality Disorder (very serious)

Learn the ABC's with Twilight! Yay!

Alice

Bella

Carlisle

Denali

Edward

Forks

Gorgeous

Hairy

Italy

Jacob

Killer Instinct

Laurent

Marcus

Necrophilia

Ocher

Phil

Quil

Rene

Swan

Tyler

Undead

Victoria

Werewolf

Xceptional Senses

Young Forever

Zombie Period

"You didn't have to break the furniture!" - Bella

T=The Unofficial Unauthorized Twilighter Handbook=T=

-:-Steps to becoming a Twilighter-:-

1. Read the Twilight books multiple times, each time finding new favorite parts to mark, and highlighting the best phrases

2. Chew Eclipse gum regularly

3. Insist you have vision problems just so you can wear ocher colored contacts

4. Become a Brunette

5. Write Twilight Fanfictions

6. Create Twilight sayings, acronyms, poems, songs, skits, and/or drawings

7. Seek out people who remind you of Twilight characters and befriend them

8. Dress up as a vampire for Halloween (not the stereotypical kind)

9. Wander through the forest/city at night with an open wound to try and lure vampires out of hiding

10. Annoy hairy buff guys in the hopes that they will morph into wolves

11. Approach random people with pale skin and take pictures with them in case they're a vampire, so you'll have proof that you met one

12. Begin a Twilight club and/or website

13. Congradulations, now that you have read the entire list you have acheived step #13 in becoming a Twilighter, now go and complete the other tasks

123456789 Time for a POP quiz! Which Cullen are you!?

How do you spend your days off?

1. Listening to music

2. Reading

3. Shopping

4. Working on/Riding in cars

5. Betting

What do you do to get things you want?

1. Dazzle them

2. Stubborness

3. Sad Puppy Eyes

4. Sulk around and tell them deppressing stories

5. Bet them

What do you do if you see someone who you're attracted to?

1. Tell them they're too good for you, but dazzle with them anyway

2. Shy away from them and think that when they talk to you they must be pittying you

3. Immediately flirt with them

4. Flip your hair

5. Bet someone you can get a date with them

How do you react to being dumped?

1. Attempt suicide

2. Become a zombie

3. Invite your girlfriends over for a party and whine about it to them

4. Kill them

5. Crack some joke and forget about it

What is your strategy for playing cards?

1. Get into the other players heads to anticipate their move

2. Dropping you cards all over the ground

3. Use your psychic powers to see who plays what card

4. Use your beauty to distract the other players

5. Bet on the game

If you answered mostly...

1) Edward

2) Bella

3) Alice

4) Rosalie

5) Emmett