Hey everyone! You guys can call me Tuey. My pen name is my real name here. I'm a girl, but that's all you'll get out of me. My privacy is really, super-duper important to me, so I don't give away information online. I've heard way too many scary stories, sorry.

School is out for summer! So, lucky for you guys, I'll be updating more often!

Actually, right now I'm on vacation! I won't be updating any of my regular stories at the moment, but I'll try to put up a one-shot or something to satisfy my wonderful and brilliant readers!

Table Of Contents:

~ Universal Disclaimer
~ Unfinished stories
~ Finished stories
~ Links
~ Just So You Know
~ Quotes and Sayings
~ My Writing Playlist
~ Shout Outs
~ Story/ Author reviews
~ My New Favorite Website
~ From A Guys Point Of View
~ Girls Are Apples
~ Stereotypes

Universal Disclaimer: I, Tuey, do not own Twilight. The one and only Stephenie Meyer has those rights. I'm only some girl who likes to make fun of/ carry on/ I have no clue to her stories. It's a fun pastime, and nothing more.

I'm working on 4 stories at the moment:

I'm With You: This is going to be a short story, but it sure is action packed!

Because of You: I've stopped updating this for now because I'm rewriting TGE and don't want the new additions to screw up the sequel, so until I've finished updating TGE, this story won't get a new chapter. DON'T WORRY IT IS NOT BEING ABANDONED!

Listing Important Reminders: This is a different kind of story. In fact, it's a series of lists about the dos and don'ts of Twilight world. Some of them are going to be funny, and others will be serious. You guys can input your original lines and I'll add them to the lists. You will get recognition for your additions, so don't worry. I don't plagarize, because I think that it's stupid and petty.

Those Golden Eyes: Well, technically I'm finished with this story, yes, it is completed, but now I'm going back and rewriting the chapters so they make sense. I still follow the story line, but I'm just repairing some gaps. Please excuse anything that doesn't make sense. Actually, if you can bring it to my attention, I'll fix it soon. Please be patient!

I'm finished with 6 stories at the moment:

Godmommy: - SPOILER ALERT - This is a one-shot that is a missing scene from Breaking Dawn. It's in Rose's point of view, but it's the phone call Bella made to Rose. You know, where she asks about Rose helping her keep Nessie safe. Yeah, let's just say Rose is just a bit surprized.

For Eternity: Another one-shot, but this one is a song fic. It's to the song "Your Guardian Angel" by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatatus. It's all about Edward and Bella's love for each other after Bella is a vampire. It's a major role reversal, though. Edward is completely scared that Bella will leave him. Hey, don't blame me, he's the one who always had the upper hand. Now that they're even, Bella is more confident than Edward. I did write it before BD came out, but I think I'm gonna update it soon so that it's a real BD one-shot.

The Empty Rose Never Blooms: I'm excited to announce that an author has picked up this story and is currently working on it. The author is xcrayon.pukex and I thank her 4000000000000 times over because she will give it all the attention and love I couldn't!

Presenting Bella Cullen: This is a one-shot about a 'ball' being trown for Bella's new relationship status. There's a song in it, too. "the Greatest Story Ever Told" be Oliver James. This story is based slightly off of What A Girl Wants. It's really cute, in my opinion.

Dreaming With A Broken Heart: I'm getting really good feedback from this! Thank you so much! Now, some people want me to write companion chapters to it, and I'm seriously contemplating doing so. I'll post a poll on it soon. PLEASE VOTE!

Downfall Of The Playeretter: I'm really sad to see this finished, but thank you for all of your reviews and feedback! There will NOT be a sequel for this, unfortunately, because of two other stories I'm excited about starting.

LINKS FOR STORIES:

Downfall of the Playerette:

-Chapter 4
Bella Dress 1
Bella Dress 2

Those Golden Eyes

Jason:
Thomas:
Felicity:(she's usually smiling. but this look is in chapter 22)

Because of You:

Cadence:

Just So You Know:

~~I got really tired of everybody saying Stephenie Meyer ruined her series by adding in BD. But no one will listen to her POV!

And here it is :

So read the article before you say BD sucks. You might be surprised.

My Writing Playlist:

Crazier Taylor Swift
Beautiful World Carolina Liar
1,2,3,4 Plain White T's
Take My Hand The Cab
I'm Not Over Carolina Liar
Write You A Song Plain White T's
Undone Carolina Liar
Kids In Love Red Car Wire
Between You And Me Stealing Summer
Come On Get Higher Matt Nathanson
Show Me What I'm Looking For Carolina Liar
4ever the Veronicas
Wasted Youth All the Right Moves
Coming to Terms Carolina Liar
Stay With You Goo Goo Dolls

Reader Shout Outs!

Thank you a bagillion times over to all of my readers. These stories would be nothing without you. You guys make me laugh and keep me writing. Everthing I do I owe to you guys.

A special thanks to Hawktalon. Of. Windclan. I look forward to each and every one of your reviews. You can always make me smile, and your questions give me the greatest ideas for new stories. And yes, BTW. I LOVE relient k.

Also, just for kicks, I dedicate this to FantasyFanatic1345: KFC FOREVER: HERE WEEE GOOOOooooo!! lol

To xcrayon.pukex: How's it coming? Do you need any help with ERNB? Just leave a comment if you do!

And, a thank you to each author of every story I read. They give me SUCH an inferiority complex, but that's not always a bad thing. They are the ones who inspire me and make me want to become a better writer.

Story/Author Reviews

Author: Rosalie McCarty : I love love love Rosalie McCarty. All of her stories are so well written, and there are no errors! I'm just amazed by her eloquence and technique. My favorite stories by her are How to lose a Vampire in 10 Days, 13 things I've never done, and Don't Eat The Casserol, It's Filled With Gun Powder. The ideas are so original. Her specialty is AH stories, but they are so much like the characters it's scary.

Story: You Had Me At Hello : It's another AH story, but it's so so so sweet. Edward rescues Bella, and she realizes that it's important to be who you are. It's almost finished, I think. I'm so sad that it's going to end, but I'm excited to hear the turn out!

Author: l'heure bleue: Okay, you've probably heard of her, but if you haven't, she's pure genius! Her stories My Miracle, My Angel , Never Too Late, and Cinderella won awards at the Twilight awards, and their all so amazingly written. The way she portays her characters is so breathtaking to me. She's an amazing author, and anyone who hasn't yet must read her stories!

My New Favorite Website!

So, I was mouring the loss of THE TWILIGHT AWARDS, and I stumbled upon an amazing blog called The Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster. After reading several hilarious and insightful Articles, I just have to put some of my favorite quotes up here!

"1.Don’t ask for an update.
2. Your words can hurt. Have a care before clicking “submit”.
3. We love it when you love it.
4. Constructive criticism can be appreciated as long as it’s not rude.
5. If you write a novel-length review, make it either:
~Fantastic
~Analytical in a good way
~So oddly skewed and word vomit-like that you just have to laugh
~Not contain the words “update”, “upload”, or any other not-so-clever synonym
~Especially not if it’s going to be the dreaded UPDATE SOON WALL O’DEATH (please see discussion for tip number 1)
~Any combination of the above. " -withthevampsofcourse's article on FF etiquette

(I have totally been guilty of reviwewing like this. Personally, I love all reviews, but if you actually want to inspire me to update faster, a hilarious rant will get me in the mood. I thought this article was hilarious... but I have a weird sense of humor, so...)

My Favorite Quotes and Sayings:

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Education is important. Although, school is another matter entirely.

Ameteurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Music is love in search of words.

Isn't it a cruel idea to have an 's' in 'lisp'?

Always forgive your enemies, it's the best way to annoy them out of their minds!

I used to be normal, until I met those freaks I know call best friends

I ran with scissors and lived!

I agree with the dictionary: Girls before Guys, Partying before Studying, and Friends before Love

I don't obsess. I just think intensely.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

The knack of flying is attempting to fall... and missing the ground.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Real girls aren't perfect because perfect girls aren't real.

Everyone has a wild side. Me and my friends just pefer to make it public.

ADD + magic markers = the most fun I've ever had.

Somebody needs a happy meal.

Music is like candy, you throw away the rappers.

I find the phrase "Good Morning" an oxymoron.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. ( I am not homophobic. I just found the irony funny.)

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

If you don't like me, there's nothing I can do. Newsflash honey, I don't live to please you!

We fall for stupid boys, make lots of stupid mistakes, talk really fast, and laugh incredibly loud. But us teenages girl are really good at one thing: Staying strong.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG!, then I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends" is like your dog dying and your mom saying you can keep it.

When people don't laugh at our jokes, we don't think of it as, "You had to have been there." thing. It's more of a "You would have to he mentally retarded like us" thing.

Your just jealous that the little voices are talking to me.

I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't talk to me.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

He who smiles in the midst of a tradgedy has found someone to blame.

Guy's point of view
(Here's the take on relationships from a guy's POV. NOT MINE)

We don't care if you talk to other guys.We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room
and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah, it's
off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without
even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a
little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till he morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we
freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in.
LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T 'FEEL BAD'
We enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you.'
Kiss us when no one's watching.(If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.)
You don't have to get dressed up for us.If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the
need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you
own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.
Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's
or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously.Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is
in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for
that.
Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'.I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand im not sayin i wouldn't like it ether.
Girls: I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A
GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION , AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and
say 'i love you' ...AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!
Give the nice guys a chance
Holdin Hands-
Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.
Cuddling-
Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.
Movies-
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.
Loving each other-
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into
her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too...
And mean it.
Laying below the stars-
Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.
Guys repost this if you agree.Girls repost this if you think it's cute.
Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this.

Girls Are Apples

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Stereotypes!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST think I'm always right.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be concieted.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecker.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be irresponsible.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST be conceited.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I've NEVER KISSED A GUY, so I MUST be a prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly and crazy.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH, so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm KINDA OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST hate anyone who isn't.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't SPEND TIME IN THE SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be controlling.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am BIG FAN OF SOMETHING so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my own SPIRITUAL IDEAOLOGY therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a perfectionist.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I go to a PRIVATE HIGH SCHOOL, so I MUST think I'm better than everyone else.
I THINK DIFFERENTLY, so I MUST not understand other people's lives.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

These sterotypes were made by REAL PEOPLE who deal with them on an everyday basis. We might not stop stereotyping forever, but I bet we can change ONE PERSON'S life for the better. After all, no one likes to be labeled... including you.

Add your own, bold what applies to you, and pass it on.