Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today...
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you beleive and God and Jesus Christ is His son...
Then copy and paste this into your profile
If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says..
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."

I am part of CBTUAEC (clumsy brunette teens united against Edward Cullen) If you are part of this, copy and paste on your profile

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!"

"You're welcome, Lieutenant Sarcasm,"

If at First you don't Succeed, DESTROY all evidence!
That's the evidence!!

I am that girl, the one who likes books more than boys. The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy. The one who always wonders what she did wrong. The one who writes to escape. The one who just wants to help. The one that really wants to make a difference. The one that sticks to her values. The one that refuses to believe that this is it. The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow.

I am the girl...that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with nerdy things that only she would like, who can express herself better with writing than talking, and knows the importance of the little things in life that most overlook! Copy and paste if you can relate!

I have an unusual way of thinking about things--for better or for worse, I put things together in my head in a different way than other people would.

(.• (.•pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

Gender:Girl, you gotta problem with that?

Age: starts with a 1 ends with a number

Name: It starters with a B and ends with an e

Likes: Everything that is interesting, like unusual things, books, music, my laptop, awsome reviewers, amazing FF and DONUTS!!!

Music: Favorite sknger/band Taylor swift And (don't blame me!) big time rush.

Books: Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter, worrier cats, and the 39 clues.

The Deal: Deal with it, even though you might not like it, only take 7.2% of what I say to heart, never look at me with that ‘Oh My Gods’ she is so crazy look because I am used to it but I willl still cause you bodily harm.

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93percent of the people that read this won’t re-post it

God is like...

God is like television commercials

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if
they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God.
Here are some of the results:

God is like
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

God is like
a FORD
He's got a better idea.

God is like
COKE
He's the real thing.

God is like
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send us his very best.

God is like
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

God is like
GERNERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

God is like
SEARS
He has everything.

God is like
ALKA-SELTZER
Try Him, you'll like Him

God is like
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see Him but you know He's there.

God is like
DELTA
He's ready when you are.
God is like
ALLSTATE
You're in goodhands with Him.
God is like
VO-5 HAIR SPRAY
He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is like
DIAL SOUPAren't you glad you have Him?Don't you wish everybody did?
God is like
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor ice will keep
Him from His appointed destination.

Lady Gaga taught me it’s ok to be different.

Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks.

Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love.

Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through.

Taylor Swift taught me not every guy is going to treat me right.

Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me.

Music taught me how to live.

BUT

Most importantly, Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week!

Now I sit me down is school
where praying is against the rule.
For this great nation under God
finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
it violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange, or green,
that's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
and pierce our noses, tongues, and cheeks...
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible,
to quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
and the 'unwed daddy' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
we're taught that such 'judgements' do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
study witchcraft, vampires, and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
no word of God must reach the crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
when chaos reins the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen.

If you aren't ashamed to do this,
Please pass this on.
Jesus said,
"If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

ADVICE

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93percent of the people that read this won’t re-post it

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face

Boy, I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. That way you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

Don't knock on Death's door-ding dong ditch him. He hates it.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

If you think that 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they can spread their 6-AM cheer to say, Martians, copy this into your profile.

The Heroes Who Died In The Titan War:

Luke Castellan, who was a hero in the end.

Ethan Nakamura, who died to bring respect to the minor gods.

Silena Beuregard, who died to make things right.

Michael Yew, who died fighting for what he believed in.

Lee Fletcher, who deserved more mention than given for his death.

Zoe Nightshade, who went on the quest knowing she would die.

Bianca di Angelo, who died to save her friends.

Charles Beckendorf, who died for the mission's sake.

And all of the unnamed, unmentioned, and unknown. Rest in peace

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Special Guest: Jesus Christ, God The Father,
Featuring DJ Holy Spirit.

When: When you enter the Gates of Heaven

Where: Kingdom of Heaven

How: Just Ask

Why: Because God Loves You!

... Come As You Are! Bring Nothing but Your Heart and Soul.

98 OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD...

REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2 WHO WILL

The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy
whenever i'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
when a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.

You call me a b? Because a b is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

When you are confused, I will use little words.

When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

If you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile.

Hey, people I am that girl that

ENJOYS pranking, revenge, books, the internet, friends, animals, plants, weapons (like bow and arrow, some guns and what happens to be close), staying up late, listing to music, watching music videos and, reading the PJO and HoO series.

HATES wearing make up, bulllying, my brother, being yelled at, homework (some not all), all those girly shops and brands, the popular girls, not being told something, my curiosity, being called short (i am 4' 7'), and all those girly colors AKA Pink, purple, yellow orange

THINKS that 1D is gay, that the greeks are amazing, and that i am going to be famous.

IS a warrior, strong, feisty, wont give up during a fight, a dancer, a reader, a writer, brave, wont go down without a fight, and fast so catch me if u can

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
When you are dumped a friend will always be like "well you deserve better". A best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days".

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way

to the top
of the tree.

Quotes:

-Demigod Files

You know how teachers tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke.

The Mark of Athena

Whenever Percy stopped by to see her, she was so lost in thought that the conversation went something like this:
Percy: "Hey, how's it going?"
Annabeth: "Uh, no thanks."
Percy: "Okay . . . have you eaten anything today?"
Annabeth: "I think Leo is on duty. Ask him."
Percy: "So my hair is on fire."
Annabeth: "Okay. In a while."

My favorite books:
Too many to count!

The Soldier stood and faced God
Which must always come to pass
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as bright as his brass.

"Step forward you Soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The Solider squared his shoulders and said
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't
Because those of us who carry guns
Can't always be a saint."

I've had to work on Sundays
And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny
That wasn't mine to keep.
Though I worked a lot of overtime
When the bills got just to steep,

And I never passed a cry for help
Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here,
Lord, It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand."

There was silence all around the throne
Where the saints had often trod
As the Soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you Soldier,
You've borne your burden well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

GOD BLESS OUR SOLDIERS!!

ME

I CAN...

Talk for hours about Twilight, PJO, Harry Potter, and a number of other books and movies.

Laugh for 45 minutes, for no reason, and not pass out.

Run into a large brick wall and not realize it, not to mention a door.

Be on Fanfiction for days on end.

Quote about any movie from my arsenal of maybe a hundred.

Go without T.V. for weeks, as long as I record Design Star to watch later. (I missed the last few... waiting for those to come around again.)

Read a 700 page book in a day, easy. (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, anyone?)

I AM...

A bookworm

A movie quoter

A nerd

A girl who refuses to fit in

Completely insane

Alive

Able to ask really dumb, obvious things

An author... on here we all know what that entails!

Crazy:

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in PJO (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Percy or Nico. Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Percy with your friends. Crazy is when one of your friends come up to you and says "He is so completely gorgeous!" and you know exactly who they're talking about because your brain is no longer set on English, but PJO. Crazy is when all your friends are scared of you because you are so hyper. Crazy is when your friend calls you crazy, you tear up a little and tell them that was the nicest thing they ever said to you. Crazy is when you spend three hours asking your best friend what their name is and then misspell your own name. If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list. Crazy is when you decide that you would sing a Christmas solo in the middle of Starbucks when the song ‘Under the Mistletoe’ comes on and people start to sing and dance along with you then some random person says you are really talented (I’m not too sure about that) then they hand you 50 freakin’ dollars (True Story)

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

WARNING: Do NOT follow in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If 1D was about to jump off a cliff, 99.5% of girls would be crying their eyes out and screaming "DON'T DO IT!!!" But I would be a part of the other 0.5% that would be screaming and jumping on the couch with excitement with a bowl of popcorn at hand saying "JUMP JUMP JUMP!!!" Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are that 3%.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3

Olny fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. If you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (my friends and family think I am weird 4 this one)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.

if you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer]

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR IS SANG TO THE SAME TUNE AS THE ALPHABET...copy this onto your profile if you just sang it in your head to see if its true.

If you can read this, you are blessed. Over two million people could not finish this.

PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS: Will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: Say OMG!
PJO FANS: Say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS: Won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or i'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: Say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: Know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: When being chased use their demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: Get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: Yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: Would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile

PJO FANS: Would have this on their profile already

I HAVE...

Wanted to slap someone

Nearly died.. from laughing

Sung loudly in a public area

Wished a fictional character was real too many times to count

Heard of National Talk Like A Pirate Day

Forgotten a really long sentence, right before I said it. (A short one too!)

Cried when a favorite character died

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Some people are like a slinky..not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

If your reading fanfics when your supposed to be studying for a major test the next day, and telling your parents your studying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you're obsessed with PJO like me, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you always look on the bright side and always judge a book/movie by its innards, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you've ever fallen going up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a mirror, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Profile your into this past and copy ,retard a like beginning the from this read actually you if. Now Read It Backwards

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.

I used to be normal until i met the freaks that i call my friends

If you are against animal abuse, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: RogueWarrior869, BlackWolfHowling, Bubble Blower, roughdiamond5, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, Someone aka Me, Angelauthor14, James018, TheDeadOne28, Amazing-Thalia-Grace, Brightpath2, athenaparthenos1, LeilaJackson,

Dear bullies,

See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked His friend out of suicide.

See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.

See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country.

See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor.

I prefer solitude over company. If you feel the same way, copy and paste this to your profile.

Did you know the average person only reads three books per year? If you do not even believe it is possible to read that little, copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this to your profile.

95 percent of teenagers are worried about being popular. If you are part of the 5 percent who are not, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate Mary Sues, copy and paste this on your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it was uncool to breath. If you are part of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever stayed up and read past 4 in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard

Aside from my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.

Write that down. He's a notorious dessert stealer.

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?

Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice into your enemies eyes!

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and scream, "I wanted limes!"

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before insulting them. That way, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and sit back and watch while the rest of the world wonders how you did it.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

If you had fallen over a friend would help you up; a best friend would pretend to help and push you down again, while laughing, alot.

"Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it-Aristotle

Be the change you wish to see in the world-Gandhi

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings-William Blake

The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear-Nelson Mandela

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission-Eleanor Roosevelt

TARTAGLIA!!!!!!!

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart (It touched mine. So I posted it.)

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!"

"Don't change anything...Ever."
-Adrian Monk

"Darn, you, blinky! I shall have your soul!"
Dionysus from The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan.

"Let us find the dam snack bar"
-Zoe, from The Titan's Curse by Rick Riordan

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere)

On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

PERCY JACKSON RULES!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D\

If you act random most of the time, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile
If you've ever copied and pasted copy and paste this on your profile
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile
If you guys love to read, copy and paste this on your profile
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile
If you've ever tripped, got up, and then fell right back down, copy and paste this to your profile
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "cookie", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you're obsessed with PJO like me, copy this into your profile.

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste to your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If ANY class kills all of your self-esteem, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would have hacked the site in the first place, copy and paste this to your Profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!!

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you think Edward Cullen in a creepy stalker, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past four in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile)

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Random stuff:

Come to the Dark Side, We Have Cookies!

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up!

I took a pain pill. Why are you STILL HERE?!

This is NOT the life I ordered...

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt!!...then it's hysterical.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel...just pray it's not a train.

Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

I know I just said 'Guns don't kill people. People kill people.' But I think that guns help! I mean, not much would happen if you just sit there and yell 'BOOM!!'

It's so simple to be wise! Just think of something stupid to say and then say the exact opposite...

Love your enemies, it pisses them off.

NEVER take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways...

A solar eclipse is just a moment without sun. A moment without sun is well...you know... night.

And just when I found the key to success...someone goes and changes all the locks!!

Dear Homework, you are unattractive; therefore, I cannot do you.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

When life throws you lemons, throw them back and say: 'WTF is your problem?!'

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

When I say 'LOL,' I'm not 'laughing out loud.' I just have nothing better to say.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

There are 3 types of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go.

If I agreed with you, then we'd both be wrong.

I don't speak Idiot fluently so please speak slowly and clearly.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Don't blame yourself. Let me do it.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it'll be hard to pronounce!

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but It's still on the list.

You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

Now we know why some animals eat their own children.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Nobody's going to win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Sarcasm is my automatic response to stupidity.

The one fault in perfection is that it's so damn boring!

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?

He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.

I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.

If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *!

If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name

Shorty/Kris

KG/Lizzy

Wisegirl101/Lindsay

WiseOne27

SeaweedBrain013/Sebz

CloudyAlore/Faye

XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells

xXthe shadow huntressxX

annapercy1

Hula

The New Ace of Spies

7Cerberus7

Storyteller-221/Kali Lennor

AthenaPersephone14

Laserfire

JBaddict1234

SeaweedGirl1

Goddess of Discord and Cookies/Kristen

Time Wasted Dreaming

Sammilovesbutterflies

the-crazy-kit-kat

bestgyrl

SilverNight ShadowLight/Fred Hunter

MrsLukeCastellan(Daughter of Hermes)

Whitherfang (Son of Athena)

Brightpath2 (daughter of Poseidon)

athenaparthenos1 (Daughter of Athena)

TheRealLeilaJackson (Daughter of Hermes and Hunter of Artemis)

Fluddershy(Daughter of Hephaestus)

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

Your a book-aholic if...

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.(Who wouldn't??)

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Pick up 24 condoms then drop them into random peoples carts

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

My name is Sarah,
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!" I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

Put this in your profile if you think that child abuse is wrong.

Went to a Party Mom --by Unknown

I went to party mom, and remembered when you said
You told me not to drink, so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself, the way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive, though some friends
said that should.

I made healthy choices, and you advice to me was right.
The party finally ended and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car, sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, mom,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement, and I hear the policemen say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems so far away.

My own blood's all around me, as I try hard not to cry,
I can hear the paramedics say, this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea, while he was flying high
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, mom, knowing it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me, like a hundred stubbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to Heaven,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Some one should have taught him, that is wrong to drink and drive,
Maybe if his parents had, I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, mom,
I'm getting really scared,
these are my finally moments, and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say "I love you, mom!"
So I love you and good-bye...

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.

I used to be normal until i met the freaks that i call my friends

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much weirdo?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, FOREST RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will visit you in jail. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME'!!
A friend will always be like "well you deserve better". A best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days".

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house
BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline
BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover
BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriendBEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick
BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (don't ask you don't want to know)
BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you.

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this.

Things I Am NOT allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class skyclad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

51) But yes, I will do it all anyway.

Crazy? I was crazy once! I would sing stupid songs at school, then read books on how to read! But then I died, and people put daisies on my grave, and one is bending down and tickling me on my nose, so I'm giggling and everyone is scared of me because I'm dead and I'm not supposed to be giggling so no more daisies! I know, I'm crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! Copy and paste this into your profile if this applies to you, and you know it does.

40 Things to do in Class when you're Bored:

1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em.
2. Inflate a beachball and throw it around the room.
3. Sing Show Tunes.
4. Make loud animal noises then deny doing it.
5. Think of new pick up lines. See if they work.
6. Pretend you're flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War.
7. Churn some butter.
8. Conceive a brand new language.
9. Walls made of brick. Count 'em.
10. Plot revenge against someone.
11. Think of nicknames for everyone you know.
12. See how long you can hold your breath.
13. Take your pants off and give them to the professor.
14. Chew on your arm until someone notices.
15. Change seats every three minutes.
16. Think of ways to cheat at Trivial Pursuit.
17. Shave.
18. Run across the room, tag someone and say "You're it.".
19. Announce to the class that you are God and that you're angry.
20. Think of five new ways to use your shoes.
21. Start a wave.
22. Walk around the room begging for spare change.
23. Roast marshmellows.
24. Practice phrasing your answers in the form of a question.
25. Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible.
26. Take apart your desk.
27. Pretend to communicate with your home planet.
28. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating.
29. Do a quick tapdance routine.
30. Try bird-watching.
31. Walk up the aisle yelling, "Popcorn! Hot popcorn here!".
32. Throw your backpack at someone.
33. Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat-signal".
34. Ask the person in front of you to marry you.
35. Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh, now I get it.".
36. Make a sundial.
37. Give yourself a new identity.
38. Write a screenplay about a diabetic Swedish girl who can't swim.
39. Dig an escape tunnel.
40. Announce your candidacy for President

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator (LOL)

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly.

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug," then enforce it.

Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost

this...

If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"

Scrambles - Meant to Be!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When

You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor

Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

You burn food to see if it smells good.

You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda

You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address

You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.

Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

That every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword

Fear cannot touch me. It can only taunt me, it cannot take me away, just tell me where to go. I can either follow, or stay in my bed. I can hold on to the things that I know. The dead stay dead, they cannot walk. The shadows are darkness. And darkness can’t talk.’- Almost Here

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

I'm the kind of girl who would fall flat on my face, get up, laugh my head off, and say " That was fun!

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.”

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Life sucks and then you die.

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?

“When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade”

Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"
Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."
Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don’t obsess! I think intensely.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing “I’m Off to See the Wizard” when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

“When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.”

“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else”

“Real girls aren’t perfect, perfect girls aren’t real.”

“I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not.”

“What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.”

A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.”
Suicide is Human’s way of saying “You can’t fire me- I quit!”

“He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.”

“If you know me, chances are you hate me.”

Shut up voices or I’ll poke you with a fork

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

Set sail in a general that way direction.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. (glares at friends... this is why i take so much food to school, cause i usually end up giving some to you guys anyway...)

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn, that was fun. Let's do it again!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the ass of whatever made you cry.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your junk so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Come on, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick their ass to hell and out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with the most vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Talk on the phone or come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.