hey people =)

I'm onyx-rocks and nobody is probably even reading this since i never post any stories but i wanted to get my own profile because i have been reading fanfiction for forever, but have never been able to review...so now i can...and I'm going to stop typing because i am probably freaking you guys out with my never-ending babbling about nothing in particular!

on to more important things...

cue heroic music

these are random sayings/quotes from movies, books,other people's profiles, and other random stuff

If it doesn't have a source, it's from someone else's profile

"I believe you should live each day as if it's your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry, because come on, who wants to do laundry on their last day of life?"

"If a person offends you, don't resort to extremes, simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick."

"If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them."

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door."

"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when I've seen footprints on the moon."

"A friend helps you up when you fall, but a best friend looks at you, then continues walking while saying,'Walk much dumbass?' "

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the next telling us to sit down and shut up!"

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

"They say 'Guns don't kill people. People kill people.' Well I thing that guns help. If you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people."

"Never trust a squirrel...he'll bite your nuts."

"Having the love of your life say 'We can still be friends' is like your dog dying and your mom saying 'You can still keep it.' "

"I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse."

"Never do today what you can put off 'till tomorrow."

"What's up your butt?" "Whatever it is, it's sideways!" -Frank and Poot from Stick It

"My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil."

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world: ones that can count and ones that can't."

"Being 40 means being twice as sexy as you were when you were twenty."

"Valentine's day is just another name for 'Singles Awareness Day.' "

"I saw the origami snake in my nightmare," I say. "Did it say anything?" Drea asks. "When was the last time a paper snake spoke to you?" Amber asks. -White is for Magic (book)

"Was it magically delicious?" -White is for Magic

"Gymnastics tells you no. All day long. It mocks you, over and over again. Telling you you're an idiot. If you like peeling pieces of skin the size of quarters off our hands, bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun then rips, is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy. And floor, are you serious. Who doesn't want to parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography. If you like falling, then gymnastics is the sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass ,your back, your knees, and your pride! It's a good thing I didn't like falling -- I LOVED IT!" -Haley Graham, Stick It

"Man, why do you always have to bite my moment? Did it taste good?" slurps "Delicious" -Frank and Poot from Stick It

"What skunk crawled up your butt and died?" -Everybody loves Raymond

"Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies." -Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

"Guys should be like lattes-- rich, hot and strong."

"Don't touch my blowhole!" -Whose line is it anyways (stand-up comedy show)

"Life's all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing off it, kicking it, kissing it ,trying to get a piece of it, or simply being one."

"Bros and cheesoritos before hoes." -Cappy from Greek

favorite movies:

She's All That

Failure to Launch

She's the Man

Step Up

Armageddon

Juno