BE UNFORGETTABLE

Hello everybody!! I'm Falling Closer To The Edge! You made it past the dragons guarding my profile. You're better than I thought.

Who is that steamily gorgeous boy to the left? Why, it's Draco Malfoy, of course! Yummy...

"Dear lord, please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they annoyed me."

"He was stupid. If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn't have enough time to sleep." -Alanna, in In the Hand of the Goddess by Tamora Pierce

About me- My real name actually means Grace Born Again, or Grace Reborn, which I think is pretty badass.I'm a future Jedi/ninja/chef/ Hunger Games contestent currently hiding from the police in Washington State. Plays flute, clarinet, saxiphone, piccolo and am convincing my parents to let me learn bagpipes. Like that will ever happen. Extrordinarily obsessed with Star Wars.

Absolutely, totally obsessed with marching band. Like seriously, it's scary. It's been one of the best times of my life, and lots of weird stuff comes from it. I've learned how to piss Emma off...AKA the evil flute section leader. Maybe telling her that I spilled pop and stomped on her piccolo when she was home with the stomach flu wasn't the smartest idea ever. Lol.

Lusts daily after some totally fictional characters including Fang, Iggy, Gale, Obi-Wan Kenobi (laugh and you will die), Draco Malfoy, and Jacob Black. Like every other fourteen year old female on this planet.

Sad yet Important Note: The evil medieval-style torturers/parents only allow me 30 minutes on the computer daily, so I can't update as often as I wish. I know, sad, huh? Invisible tears are rolling down my face as we speak.

The Pledge: I saw this thing where it said to make a list of rules on your profile about fanfictions. Here goes.

I pledge to respect all pairings, even if they are not my favorite.

I pledge to never flame, to only give constructive criticism.

I pledge to review all stories I read, even if they were awful, or had a thousand reviews.

Music: 30 Seconds to Mars! They are INCREDIBLE! Also I love 3 Doors Down, Shinedown, Michael Jackson, Green Day, Evanescence, SHINee, My Chemical Romance, Breaking Benjamin, and Journey. By now you are undoubtably bored by this profile. Don't worry, I don't mind if you go back to whatever story you were reading.

Song of the Month: Written in the Stars, by Tinie Tempa feat. Eric Turner. Just an epic song overall. You listen to it, I guarentee you will want to stand up and sing. Guarenteed.

Lady Gaga taught me it’s okay to be different.

Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks.

Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through.

Taylor Swift taught me not every guy is going to treat me right.

Katy Perry taught me to be the best I can be, that I'm worthwhile.

Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me.

Justin Bieber taught me to never say never.

30 Seconds to Mars taught me to fight for what you believe in.

My Chemical Romance taught me that it’s okay to cry sometimes.

P!nk taught me to never forget to have fun.

Music taught me how to live.

There is no emotion

There is peace

There is no ignorance

There is knowledge

There is no passion

There is serenity

There is no death

There is the Force

I went to Diagon Alley with Hagrid. I got through the 9 ¾ barrier with the Weasleys. I lost Trevor with Neville and hunted him down with Hermione. I ate Chocolate Frogs with Harry and Ron and tried to turn Scabbers yellow. I was sorted into Slytherin by the Sorting Hat. I ate dinner in the Great Hall. I had Charms with Flitwick, Transfiguration with McGonagall, Potions with Snape, and Herbology with Sprout. I hang out in the library with Madame Pince. I flew with Madame Hooch. I ate biscuits with Hagrid. I went into the Forbidden Forest. I saw my desire in the Mirror of Erised. I saw Lord Voldemort on the back of Quirrell’s head. I flushed Tom Riddle’s diary down Moaning Myrtle’s toilet with Ginny. I fought the basilisk with Harry. I punched Draco Malfoy in the face. I was taught Defense Against the Dark Arts by Remus Lupin, and found Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew in the Shrieking Shack. I called Snape a “slimy git” with the Marauders and pretended that the Mischief had been Managed. I pranked with Fred and George. I danced with Krum at the Yule Ball. I called Professor Trelawny “barmy” and stormed out with Hermione. I got detention with Umbridge. I watched the twin’s fireworks go off. I went to the Minstry with Harry. I fell through the veil with Sirius. I passed through Potions with the Half Blood Prince. I stalked Draco Malfoy (although you’ll never hear us admit it) with Harry. I ate chocolate eggs in the library with Harry and Ginny. I watched Dumbledore fall off the Astronomy Tower. I danced at Bill and Fleur’s wedding with George (or was it Fred?) and Apparated away with Hermione, Harry and Ron. I hunted Horcruxes down with the Golden Trio. I listened to Potterwatch in the tent at night. I was captured by Snatchers and taken to Malfoy Manor. Bellatrix Lestrange tortured me. I was saved by Dobby the House Elf. I fought with Dumbledore’s Army. I went back to Hogwarts to fight for my school. I watched Harry survive the Killing Curse again and met Dumbledore. I pretended to die to live. I cried when Fred died. I cheered when Mrs. Weasley won. I hugged my friends when Voldemort was dead. I read the Harry Potter series.

THE 11 COMMANDMENTS OF MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE:

1. Thou shalt not put a gun to thy lover's head.

2. Thou shalt be willing to die for love.

3. Thou shalt seek revenge on those who wrong you

4. Thou shalt be a demolition lover

5. Thou shalt unleash the bats

6. Thou shalt protect thy lover from everything (even vampires)

7. Thou shalt respect thy lord, Gerard.

8. Thou shalt sing the holy hymns of the Chemical Romance

9. Thou shalt see beauty in bloody love.

10.Thou shalt rock hard.

11. And thou shalt never, ever, give up, regardless of the pain, for you owe it to the music.

1 thing

2 say

3 Doors Down

4 ever

You say Lady Gaga -I say Nickelback You say Miley Cyrus-I say My Chemical Romance.
You say T-Pain-I say Kiss You say Flowers-I say 30STM You say Pink-I say Iron Maiden
You say Hip Hop-I say shut the bleep up
You say Pop-I scream Heavy Metal!!
You say hanah montana-I hit you in the face
92% of teenagers have turned to Hip Hop and Pop.If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music,copy and paste this message to your profile. DON'T LET THE SPIRIT OF ROCK DIE!!

BOOKS!!! I'm a total book nerd. I ADORE any Tamora Pierces, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Night World, Graceling, Anthem, Of Mice and Men, Twilight, and Maximum Ride. And the Wheel of Time! But especially Max Ride! Oooh, and Bloody Jack! Favorite series of ALL TIME!!! I just read the Hunger Games, and it is INCREDIBLE! (Go Gale go! DIE, PEETA, DIE)

R.I.P.- Zoe Nightshade, Bianca diAngelo, Castor(son of Mr. D), Pan, Quintus/Daedulus, Lee Fletcher,Michel Yew,Charles Beckondorf, and all of the other Demigods who fell fighting for Camp Half-Blood.

They will never be forgotten

To the crazy ones

Here's to the crazy ones. the misfits. the rebels. the troublemakers.

The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.

they're not fond of rules. and they have no respect to the status quo. you can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify them or vilify them.

about the only thing you can't do is ignore them. because they change things.

they invent.

they imagine.

they heal.

they explore. they create. they inspire.

they push the human race forward.

maybe they have to be crazy. how else can you stare at empty canvas and see a work of art?

or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?

or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? we make music for these kind of people.

while some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

"I hath telekinesis!" -Voldemort/Volzemort/Satan from the epic fail fic My Immortal. You will die laughing.

PERCABETH FOREVER!!

IF YOU HATE PRACHEL, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!

LONG LIVE THE GODS!!

If

You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.

There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”

Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy without glasses (can be very embarrassing... I know from experience).

You burn food to see if it smells good.

You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.

You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.

Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…

Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.

You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.

You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.

You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses??

Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.

You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas (so sad and true).

You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.

You sometimes try to control water.

You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it
on your God parent.

You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.

You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video
games.

Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is
a Camp shirt.

You are a PJO character for Halloween.

Recite lines randomly from the books.

When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it
was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.

Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.

You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas (I am not. :(I).

You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes
symbol.

You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.

You have dreams about PJO characters/events (That has happened to me
before).

You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.

You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.

You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain.

Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY
DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"

You stuff your (ahem) Harry Potter books in the back of your closet so you
have some more places for your PJ&O stuff.

When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"

In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be
studying Greek mythology?!"

You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"

When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream
"JACKSON!"

When someone dies, you pray to Hades to allow them to go across Styx for
free, because they don't have drachmas anymore.

You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.(Not me.)

You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of
emergencies.

You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.

And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.

You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why:
-Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy.
-Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work.
-Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket.
-Hermes- Cutting off your internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds.
-Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and Thuke, I know, but c'mon...
-Eris- She threw the apple.

You have ADD, are diagnosed, and are convinced that you are a demigod because of this.

When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive.

You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.

When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke.

You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.

You give all your siblings god parents (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades.)

You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.

You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.

You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.

You still think Thuke could happen. (thats not me.)

You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.

You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.

You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy.

You have a countdown to the Demigod Files because of the mention of Percabeth.

You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals.

Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.

You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them.

You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain.

They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico.

You think of creative names for Percy besides Seaweed Brain, such as kelphead16 because his head is full of kelp and there's an 85 chance he'll die at the age of sixteen.

You wonder if you'll be able to drive a car come your 16, provided Percy saves the world, because of that.

You know you're obsessed when you lose something, and say, "Come on Hermes!
Give it back!!

You think all the popular girls at your school are children of Aphrodite. And say to all the braniacs at your school if Athena is okay. (Don’t hurt me Athena).

You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters.

You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head (this is for Nico-obsessed people. I am not one of them!)

Your internet homepage is Rick Riordan's blog.

You and your other PJO obsessed friend cracks up if any one mentions the word
Canada or Canadians.

You and your PJO obsessed friend start a fan club with only you two in it.

You get other people obsessed.

You have constant vivid dreams about the fifth book.

You spend most of your time thinking what will happen in the fifth book.

You jump up and down at the idea of LT becoming a movie.

You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, PJO and
use it in conversations.

Your favorite quote of all time comes from PJO.

You and your friend has "diss-wars" using PJO CHARACTERS (My friend Athena is
going to make up dumb, oh wait you already are).

When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus. o

Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!!” iBookworm-chan

You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?" iBookworm-chan

When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters (I found a site where you actually can! But I can't swear off boys. Sorry, Artemis)

When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus/Hestia.

~You put an offering to Demeter next to your garden.

~You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…"

~You say "Miya!" when you are wearing shoes.

Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

you wish you were a Clan cat, copy this to your profile and add your name to the list: Troublestripe, Loyalflame, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Sparklingpool, Wolfgrowl,Snowtuft, Goldenlake,

I promise to remember Rue

When mockingbirds’ songs wake me

I’ll think of Foxface every time

I eat a strange new berry

If my little sister pets a goat

I promise to think of Prim

And if my best friend acts depressed

Then Gale; I’ll think of him

When I toss some wood in the fire

I’ll think of Katniss every time

And I’ll always think of Peeta

When my birthday cake’s sublime

The Capitol will cross my mind

When someone is unfair

I’ll be sure to think of Clove

Each time I pretend to care

I’ll always think of Glimmer

If someone’s pretty, but a dunce

And Thresh will occupy my mind

If I spare someone, something... Once

Whenever I watch a reality show

I will think of the Hunger Games

I’ll sure imagine Haymitch

If someone calls me names

I swear to think of Cato

When I’m homicidally inclined

I’ll make sure I think of Effie

When there’s nothing on my mind

I swear to remember the Hunger Games

And Catching Fire too

It’s important to think of the characters

But they’re NOT mine (So, Collins, don’t sue!)

The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever Im at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.

Is it possible to fall in love with a character from a book? Copy and paste this into your profile if you can honestly say you are in love with Fang or Iggy from Maximum Ride.

MAXIMUM RIDE FAN QUESTIONS:

1. Do you think Iggy is hot?

Hell Ya!

2. Did you cry when Ari died?

Of course! He was so sweet and I felt so bad for him!

3. Do you think Fang is hot?

I'm not even going to answer that question. The answer is obvious.

4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?

Air-ee

5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?

Yeah, I can't help it.

6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?

Totally! (Cheesy Max Ride joke there)

7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX?

I jumped up and down, then ran through the house screaming FINALLY!!!

8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?

No, I was very calm. I punched the cover instead.

9. Who is your favorite character?

Tie between Iggy and Fang. They're both too damn hot.

10. Do you like Jeb?

Not at all

11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?

It was more of a double take. "Blah, blah, grew gills, blah, WHAT?"

12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?

Obviously. Most things in this world are better than TFW

13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?

I could stand Nudge, but I really hate Angel, so yes and no.

14. Which book is your all time favorite?

Fang! Even though I cried at the end. A lot.

15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?

Kryptonite, by three doors down, or All or nothing, by theory of a dead man

16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?

Yeah, who hasn't?

17. Who do you think the voice should be?

Fang! That would be hilarious!

18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?

Eh, not really.

19. What bugged you the most about TFW?

It had nothing to do with the other books. Too global warming obsessed.

20. MIGGY or FAX?

Fax! But I love Miggy too...

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.
2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.
3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.
4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.
5. You claim you have wings.
6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'.
7. You daydream about meeting the flock.
8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.
9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.
10. You study about birds.
11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.
12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.
13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.
14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.
15. You are counting down the days for the next book. (Which is coming out March 15, 2010)
16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.
17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.
18. You hate dog crates.
19. You think scientists are evil.
20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.
21. When your spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.
22. You've found a new respect for blind people.
23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.
24. You say 'U and A' a lot.
25. You think you have a Voice like Max.
26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.
27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.
28. You know what 'Fax' is.
29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.
30. You claim to have brain attacks.
31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.
32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.
33. You daydream of flying.
34. You love chocolate chip cookies.
35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.
36. If you want to become a writer because of MR
37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.
38. If you love Fan-fiction.
39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.
40. You want a talking dog.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you cried at the end of Fang. (I'm not ashamed to admit it. I bawled.)

()_()
(")_(")
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it?

Re-post this if you truly believe in God, and even if you don't.

Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. (or bastard)
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I MUST be gay too.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm POOR, so I MUST live in a box on the street.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. Okay, seriously though, who doesn't. AMAZINGLY, some black people...
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. (Band kids unite! Hahahaha we are taking over the world.)
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA, he was...
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (Sorry, but NO)
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read manga, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos (amazingly, most Australian people DON'T see kangaroos daily...)
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. (Exact opposite actually...)
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times
I’m a cutter (or have been), so I MUST be attention seeking
I’m quiet so I MUST be a backstabbing bitch
I’m Catholic so I MUST think I’m always right and cool

Read this. It makes you think...

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?

Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.

If you know me, chances are you hate me.

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through.

The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity?... I think I lost it.

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, it's encouraged! Why is that?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

Tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When French people swear, do they say, "Pardon my English."?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the SWAT team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

I read Eclipse and wanted to punch Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Always forgive your enemies... nothing annoys them more.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable.

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But i think it's Colin.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.

If olive oil comes from olives then where does baby oil come from?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space, but it is ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain, who is "she"?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside" when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "Do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put "this side up" face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

If band were any easier, it would be called football.

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

You can't always argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention.

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

Fang: Sell your soul for a cookie. Max: Nah, Jeb already tried to get me with that, and I said no. No matter how much I wanted that cookie.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either dating someone, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. (Fang, it's all your fault. Stop being so hot.)

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy?

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said,"He's in heaven."Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!"The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds, Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning,my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells,"Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person."Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be "under par" in any thing else?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff...

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

82 percent of teenagers do drugs, drink alcohol, and rob convenience stores...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

Got a problem with me? Solve it.

It's us versus the world...we attack at dawn!

If Hannah Montana was standing on the edge of a 50 story building, 98 percent of the world would be screaming at her to stop. If you are one of the 2 percent who would be sitting in a lounge chair with popcorn screaming JUMP!!, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Darth Vader is seriously misunderstood and is the real hero of the Star Wars Saga, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you seriously just read everything on my profile, you're amazing!