INTRO AND RANDOM FACTOID THINGYS

Well everyone, here I am: King Asher142. You get a cookie if you know where the Asher comes from. You get two hints: it has nothing to do with Pokemon; and it's somewhere in here...

1. I am an eighteen-year-old guy who hails from deep southwest Missouri. I swear I'm not a redneck. Although I'm currently living among far too many of them. Seriously, there are far too many rednecks around here. I hear 'seen' used as the preterite tense of 'to see' more than I hear 'saw' in any sense. And it bugs me severely.

2. I was the section leader of the French Horn/Mellophone section in my school's band (I recently graduated.) Band geeks rule.

3. I am known to many as Sensei. I am also feared by many.

4. I plan to study physics, music, and as many foreign languages as possible in college.

5. My guitar is a black Epiphone SG Special. Her name is "Shelby." She's named after the final car in Gone in 60 Seconds, but Eleanour was already taken, so I went with Shelby. Yes, I named my guitar and refer to said instrument with a feminine pronoun. What of it?

6. I enjoy writing down random things about myself that no-one really cares about.

7. There is no number seven fact. It's like the Matrix and the spoon.

8. If the western U.S. (Arizona, New Mexico, etc.) wasn't so bloody hot, that would be my first choice of place to live after college. Also, Arizona is full of racist idiots. Not the best place for a liberal such as myself, eh?

9. If asked about my religion, I would have to say I'm somewhere between Agnostic and Atheist.

10. As of today, June 28th, 2012, I have updated my profile again.

11. When I do actually write, I very rarely use exclamation points.

12. I often use the British spellings for certain words, i.e. colour, armour, etc. If you don't like it, I'm sorry. You'll just have to deal with it.

13. It is something of a wild dream of mine to march in DCI (Drum Corps International.) If you've never heard of DCI, look up Carolina Crown (my absolute favourite), Phantom Regiment, The Cavaliers, The Cadets, Santa Clara Vanguard, The Blue Devils, The Glassmen, and the Madison Scouts. You will not be disappointed. Trust me.

14. In addition to the French Horn, Mellophone, and guitar, I also play the trumpet, piano, and might eventually learn the flute.

LOVE AND HATE MEGALIST OF DOOM

Loves: video games, including: Guitar Hero, Kingdom Hearts, Ratchet and Clank, Star Wars: Battlefront, Jak and Daxter, Final Fantasy X, Halo, and the Xenosaga series. Music of many sorts, including: rock, techno, metal, some folk, some blues, prog, and other stuff. Summer break, being lazy, reading, and learning about physics. Specifically quantum, but any sort is good.

Hates: homework, bad teachers, preppy kids with egos, idiots in general, large homework projects, bad video games, bad books and fics, the Republican Party in general, and several other many things. Don't ever mention to me anything about my first English teacher freshman year...she gave me nightmares...and waiting. I absolutely abhor waiting for anything with every single fiber of my being. I'll still do it, but it comes with many protests and a lot of impatient complaining. So don't make me wait for stuff.

STORIES (OR LACK THEREOF)

Enough with that; on to the real reason you came to me: my stories. Well, as you can see, I have none at present. However, I have recently decided to take a second crack at an old idea. No guaruntees if it'll ever be published, though. Or even written.

RECOMMENDED READING

There are two stories on this site that I absolutely recommend as essential reading. Both are Harry Potter fics.

The first is Behind Blue Eyes and its (sadly) unwritten sequel, Rootless Tree, written by Paffy. Simply put, this story is amazing. I found it a number of years ago, and have loved it since the first time I read it, and still love it now, even after multiple reads. Unfourtunately, the writing itself (spelling, punctuation, etc.) isn't the best in the world. The story isn't very complex, but it is very, very well told, and the characters are astonishingly human, to the point that I often feel as if I'm standing in the room with the characters- not reading about what's happening.

The second is Harry Potter and the Wastelands of Time, and its sequel, Harry Potter and the Heartlands of Time, written by Joe6991. This story is ridiculous, crazy, over the top, insane, and some 300,000 words of the most mind-blowingly awesome writing I have ever seen. It's the sort of story that takes a ton of old cliches, and completely re-invents them so that they're all but unrecognizable. The writing is excellent, and the characters are very good. I recommend anything by Joe6991, but Wastelands is (in my opinion) his masterpiece, and not to be overlooked.