Greetings people of Earth...oh wait, wrong speech.

Um, Hello fellow inmates, er, members of the Imperium.

Crap, that's not it either.

What year is it again?

So long and thanks for all the fish!

No, that doesn't sound right. Let me try this again.

*clears throat*

Greetings readers of fanfiction, it is a pleasure to make your aquaintance in these hallowed halls of literary indulgence. You know, just the other day, I was discussing this site with my fellow Oxford professors...oh, who am I kidding?

Howdy, my name is Mystical Rabbit aka Mr. Raven Jadewolfe. My wife calls me her Emmett but don't be fooled, I am a bastard coated bastard with a creamy bastard filling. Case and point, my wife is freakishly terrified of rabbits, so I made sure that I had rabbit in my pen name.

Why am I here? Mostly because my wife met her girlfriend on here and I'm hoping that I can steal some of her luck and finally snag that hot oriental guy I've always dreamed of. Until that day comes, I'll keep on reading fics and occasionally help Raven write our colab story that's called Fangs, Furballs, and Man-Eating Snuggies Oh My!

Now, either take me to your leader or point me in the direction Captain Jack Harkness ran off in...I will catch him one of these days...