An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but since Carlisle is cute, no more fruit!

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Alice could stop the credit crunch copy and paste this onto your profile!!

If you'd vote for Jasper as president of USA copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you'd vote for Carlisle as Prime Minster copy and paste this onto your profile!!

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming him Edward copy this into your profile. (I think Edward is really scared right now...)

If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Isabella, copy this into your profile

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile

BEST FRIENDS 'N FRIENDS:

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents Mr. and Mrs., and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never see you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in his/her body if he/she hurts you

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: help you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: give you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: take yours and say, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipe your tears when you're rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goe up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Have you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff and give it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS:Lose your stuff and tell you, "my bad .. here's a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: Have to be told not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl, drink the rest of that you know we don't waste"

FRIENDS: Comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: Sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: Are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think you're insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: Come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: Are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: Are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: Kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: Are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: Don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: Are asking why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: Dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: Dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: Call you retarded for running through the bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (ask MangoTango450 if you want to know)

BEST FRIENDS: Are screaming and running with you

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap.

My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.

"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

iddle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight. Back-to-back they faced one another, Drew their swords and shot each other. One was blind and the other couldn't see, So they chose a dummy for a referee. A blind man went to see fair play, A dumb man went to shout "hooray!" A deaf policeman heard the noise, And came and shot the two dead boys. A paralysed donkey walking by, Kicked the copper in the eye, Sent him through a rubber wall, Into a dry ditch and drowned them all. (If you don't believe this lie is true, Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From ChildrenWhen life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

Random Funny Junk (well it's funny to me)

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

Pointless Things to Copy and Paste into your Profile!

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have spent a whole day reading Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse, without any food, copy and paste this to your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volturi" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have so many dreams about Twilight that you have lost count, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.

Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.

An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

This is a true story:

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of s!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)

My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cant see,
must be stid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid
I'm sradishing to cry
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door
He's already locked it
And I sradish to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Sarah
I am but three
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me

child abuse is for cold hearted worthless (listen cuz ill only say this once) pieces of s who blame their children for their own hardships

i for one think tat this should stop i mean its not the poor child's fault that their parents need an effing life. post this onto your profile if your with me and support the fight against child abuse.

some info:

abuse is more than the purple and blue bruises along with fresh and old cuts and scars that adorn your skin in a terribly ugly and tragic past and or present, imagine how they feel, on the inside as their parents swear at them

looking them dead in the eyes and telling them that its their fault that they are ugly and that they hate them. how would you feel if your dad stood towering over you looking you dead in the eyes and telling you your a useless

piece of shit and that you dont matter. bruises will fade and the bleeding will stop but you'll see the same thing reliving it all day after day every time someone says dad or touches you in an unfriendly matter its the scars left in your head that hurt the most. now after you read that tell me you still dont care. and if you don't i hope you have fun in hell along with the rest of the scum that hurt their baby girls and boys.

(V)
(O.o)
( ) /_

Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination, and come join the dark side. (We have cookies.)

@(O.O)@
C"(. .)"
Copy the monkey onto your profile and give him a banana.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune...

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, bright black stars, StormDragon666, Sasuke's 2 Child Sayuri Uchiha, silver cherryblossom BrightRubyEyes, Crazii Kimmy Girl,Angelz on edge, HermioneGranger1993, Twilightluvr, Obsessededwardcullenluver, Edward's ONLY True Love, Arianna Cullen, vampiressbella2009, BronzeHariedMystery, twilight-saga-lover95, vampiremagic101, cookies-n-edward.yummy

Female come backs
pick up line comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

If the Jonas Brothers said breathing wasn't cool 95 percent of girls would be dead. If you would be part of the 5 who'd laugh their ass off at them, copy this into your profile.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile

When someone says to try to take a walk in their shoes, just roll your eyes and say their shoes are too small.

When a boy that you don't like is a complete jerk, stand up on the cafeteria table and scream to the world that he is on the herpes website.

If you just end up digging your hole deeper, throw away the shovel and climb back out.

If a vampire dazzles you into something that are reluctant to do,
just scream that Emmett, Jasper, and Edward Cullen are going to hunt him down,because only they are allowed to dazzle you. (Only Twilighters will get this, sorry guys!)

Being scared is a good thing, it means you still have something to lose.

Don't give your heart away until your man is locked up in an iron cage and can't run away with it.

If you get scared at a movie, just throw candy at the people sitting in front of you.

If math class is getting too boring and quiet, scream
"THE VOICES IN MY HEAD WON'T SHUT UP!"

When there is nothing to do during class, proclaim to the entire class
that you are on a mission for world domination and the first to contradict you
will be the first to die.

Only look someone in the eye if they will look you in the eye.

It doesn't mean the same thing when someone says they love you over the phone, than when they say it to your face.

Some people say a girl's best friend are high heels and clothes, but I say heck no! Flip-flops and chocolate are a girl's best friend!

Put you're iPod/mp3 on shuffle and answer these questions:

1. How does the world see me?

Hate that i love you, Rihanna and Ne-Yo

2. Will I have a happy life?

7 things, miley cyrus (does this mean that i will or will not have a happy life?)

3. What do people really think of me?

Si tu supieras, Alejandro Fernandez (love song! people love me!)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

World of chances, Demi Lovato (does it mean there is a world of chances that people lust after me or... what? cuz the song is kinda sad...)

5. How can I make others happy?

me enamora, juanes (i make people others happy because they fall in love with me?? SWEEEEET.)

6. How can I make myself happy?

Runaway, Pink (OMG!! i thought i was happy?!)

7. What should I do with my life?

lo que puedo ser, alejandro fernandez ( what i can do...)

8. Will I ever have children?

As lovers go, Dashboard Confessional (is that a yes or a no??)

9. What is some good advice for me?

Until Tomorrow, Paramore (wait you'll give me me good advice tomorrow or are the lyrics the good advice??)

10. What do I think my current theme song is?

Wordplay, Jason Mraz (thats cool wit me :D)

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

Coldest Winter, Kanye West (WHO PUT THIS ON MY IPOD!!)

12. What song will play at my funeral?

Makes Me Wonder, Maroon 5 (tee hee the song says 'and so this is goodbye')

13. What type of men/women do you like?

Geek in the Pink, Jason Mraz ( i can live with that)

14. What is my day going to be like?

We Are Broken, Paramore ( wow that sucks)

15. Why am I here?

Gives you Hell, All-American Rejects (yup you got me im here cuz it gives you hell :P )

16. What will people remember me for?

Yesterday, Beatles (hmm what was so memorable that i did yesterday??)

17. What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?

Sorry, Jonas Brothers (ALL RIGHT THIS IS WHY I DONT LET PEOPLE TOUCH MY IPOD!! MY COUSIN IS GOING DOWN!!)

18. Are there people outside waiting to take me away?

Born For This, Paramore (i guess that means yes.)

19. What will this year be all about?

Luna, Juanes (i guess this year will be about the moon)

18 - If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:

Screaming Infidelities, Dashboard Confessional (man i climbed Mt Everest cuz my Boy friend Cheated on me?? that sucks)

19 - The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:

We can work it out, Beatles (all right i'll only do it if im in a fight with someone!!)

20 - Your message to the world:

Decoy, Paramore ( oh that sucks for the world)

21 - Your deepest secret:

Quiet, Demi Lovato ( i dont get it oh wait never mind it does make sence.)

22 - Your innermost desire:

Let it rain, jojo ( yop i like the rain)

23 - Your oldest memory makes you think:

whoa, Paramore (wow well i guess its appropriate)

24 - Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:

Here Comes The Sun, Beatles (awwwww how cute!!)

25 - When you wake up in the morning, you mutter

Leave me alone (im lonely), Pink (i do tell my sister to leave me alone in the mornings... hmm thats funny)

26 - Right now, your feelings are:

Every time you lie, demi lovato (no not really but whatev)

27 - The day you fall in love will be the day that:

accidentally in love, The counting crows (hate the vid love the song. God he gives a bad name to rabbits every where!!)

28 - You scream when you cry:

thinking of you, Katy Perry (aww sad song!!)

29- You’d describe you best friend as:

leave (get out), Jojo (awww that sucks)

30- Your friends describe you as:

secret, maroon 5, (what the hell is that supposed to mean?)

31- In an elevator you are most likely to

i'd lie, taylor swift (good song wait, lol ima lie iun an elevator lol)

32- Your philophisy in life is

misery buisness, paramore (aww that makes me a B! have you HEARD the song : )

33 - Your farewell message to the readers of this:

catch me, demi lovato (what? oh now i get it catch me! then i faint of embarrassment cuz i just said that! duh meg cant believe i didnt get it before! lol)

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl

that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7, xshoppingshortiex, AlexRussofan, Twilighting.Ensures, meg: aka:cookies-n-edward.yummy,

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Funny Randomness: One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

This is Bunny.

(\_/)
(O.o)
o(/_._\)o

Copy and paste Bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination!

on the other hand this is kitty

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!

If you are frequently told to be quiet/shut the hell up, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you constantly have 'I love Edward Cullen' rants, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you have gotten more than three of your friends addicted to Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you slap anyone who tells you that Edward Cullen is not real, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, copy this into your profile

-Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

-If you hear voices of characters in your head...copy and paste this into your profile

-If you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen...copy and paste this into your profile

-If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you pray every night for your Edward to turn up in your life...copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you have AACIB disorder (Addicted To All The Cullens Including Bella)...copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you screamed over watching the Twilight trailers, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've screamed at someone who told you Edward was fictional, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you treat your Twilight books like they are your own kid, copy and post this into your profile

-If you constantly search the roads for a silver Volvo, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever screamed in an elevator because it moved when you didn't expect it to or know shomeone who has dont this, copy and post this into your page

-If you daydream about Edward appearing in your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

-Tasers are fun. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

-If you have ever asked for a taser for a Birthday present but your parents thought you would use it on your siblings or know someone who has, copy and paste this on your profile

-If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

-If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile

-If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

-If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are on Team Switerland, copy and paste this in your profile (Team Switzerland is when you like both Edward and Jacob)

-If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever screamed for no reason in a public place and people stared at you, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever laughed while you were drinking and it shot out of your nose, which made you laugh even harder instead of being embarassed, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I cried and cursed Edward)

-If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

-If you have ever SLAPPED someone or have been SLAPPED by one of your Best friends because you were feaking out over some stupid thing, then copy and paste this into your profile. (I did both. My friend was freakin out about a presentation, so I slapped her to calm her. It didn't work like da movies... she just glared at me, and my other friend dared me to slap one of our friends in da face. So, I did.)

-If you have ever tripped over a bench with a row of cute guys looking at you, then copy and paste this into your profile

-If you have ever jumped out of a box on April Fools Day as a prank, and made the person you were pranking, fall on the ground clutching their heart and gasping for air but couldn't get enough of it, copy and paste this into your profile (Try it! It is funny and worth it, in my opinion the best April Fools prank ever! If you try it send me a message wit their reacion! :P)

-If you have ever frozen a bowl of water with a spoon in it and poured cereal on top for a Friend or Family members breakfast on April Fools Day, then ate it as a popsicle, or know somebody who has, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you have ever snorted pepper or salt up your nose to see what would happen, and got a sinus infection because of it, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you have ever dared someone to snort peper or salt up their nose, knowing that it would give them a sinus infection, copy and paste this on your profile

- If you have ever done a dare, copy and paste this on your profile

-If you have ever dared someone, copy and paste this on your profile

-If someone mentions Twilight, and you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

-If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

-If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

-If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

-If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

-If you have ever told anyone to copy and paste something on their profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

-If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

-If your friends are always trying to tell you to shut up, but you don't, copy and paste this onto your profile. ( When I do that my friends slap or throw somtin' at me...)

-If your friends are considering torturing you to stop you talking about a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and paste it in your profile

-A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfics, copy this into your profile.

-If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

-If you think Fighting is fun, but war is pointless, copy this into your profile.

you irk me!! :P

the baby sucked that sucker like a sucker!! wait ... i used suck in that sentence 3 times ... LOL :D thats not weird

why am i the only one who talks to myself?

LOOK IM NO STUPID IM JUST NOT SMART!!

STUPID COMEBACKS TO ANSWERS FOR THE RHETORICAL QUESTIONS THAT YOU ASK!! :D

BOLD: ME

UNDERLINED BOLD: SOME RANDOM PERSON

BOLD ITALICS: ME SAYING THE STUPID COMEBACK

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME, PUNK!!
YEAH I DO!!

THEN FIX IT.

YOU THINK IM TRIPPIN'??

NOD

THEN TIE MY SHOE.