Hey people of the universe!!!!! I'm new here of August 2011 so I hope the nice kind FanFiction users who can be bothered to look at my profile will send messages of greeting and support. If you're not one of them, well, you can go lick R-Patz's vampiric bum, you frickin' anarchists! Sorry about that, I have a very short temper and a hatred of Twilight and anarchy.

About Me:
Name- Captain Pheonix Eclipse Prime, Autobot medical officer [not my actual name obviously, it's as fake as Richard Hammond's white teeth]
Location- The Old Windmill, Witzend, Wonderland
Appearance- Just your average Brit-Pakistani but with glasses and stupid eyebrows
Crushes- Normal people ,3 celebs and like a zillion other fictional people which vary from Optimus Prime to Skulduggery Pleasant
Fav Movie- EVERY SINGLE THING JOHNNY FREAKIN' DEPP IN IT!!!!!, Sherlock Holmes, Transformers, Harry Potter, Narnia, Kung Fu Panda and.. and... oh Cheesus, there's too many
Fav TV show- Merlin on BBC, UK Top Gear, Phineas and Ferb, Spongebob Squarepants and lots of other random stuff
Fav Musician- Currently Linkin Park but it changes every so often
Fav Song- Titanium by David Guetta ft Sia
Fav Book- Skulduggery Pleasant, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes, Artemis Fowl, Percy Jackson, Cat Royal...there're probably others but I have the memory of a goldfish :(

Quotes:

Pirates of the Caribbean=
Captain Jack Sparrow: Have you been there?
Captain Teague: Does this face look like it's been to the fountain of youth?
Captain Jack Sparrow: Depends on the light

Jack Sparrow: Will you tell me something? Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel? Er... rather damsel in distress? Either one.

[Giselle and Scarlett are fighting]
Jack Sparrow: Ladies! Will you please shut it? Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced "egregious". By the way, no, I've never met Pizzaro but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?
[Giselle slaps Jack]
[Scarlett slaps Jack]

Lord Cutler Beckett: [Jack has a cannon aimed at Beckett] You're mad!
Jack Sparrow: [grins] Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't, this'd probably never work.

Skulduggery Pleasant=
“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.” -Skulduggery Pleasant, Book 1, to Valkyrie/Stephanie

“What is it with you women?" he yelled, kicking at the air. "You come into our lives, you take everythin'! Throughout the years you got little pieces of me, of my very SOUL, and NOW? Now you got my damn straight razor! How am I supposed to kill people? How am I supposed to even SHAVE?” Billy-Ray Saguine, Book 2, to Valkyrie and Tanith

Stephanie: "I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already- what more could they want?"
Tanith laughed, then tried to cover it up with a cough.
"Found something?" Skulduggery asked from behind them.
Tanith turned, looking serious. "No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh... more floor."
Stephanie hugged herself, trying to stop her shoulders from shaking with laghter.
"OK," Skulduggery said. "Well, keep on looking."
Tanith nodded, turned back and nudged Stephanie to get her to shut up. Stephanie clamped a hand over her mouth and had to look away when she saw Tanith's face, straining to hold her composure.
"Cow," Tanith muttered and that was it, the floodgates opened, and Stephanie doubled over with laughter that echoed throughout the warehouse. Tanith pointed at Stephanie and backed away. "Skulduggery, she's not being professional!"
Stephanie's laugh proved infectious and Tanith was soon on her knees. Skulduggery and Ghastly just looked at them.
"What's going on?" asked Ghastly.
"I'm not entirely sure," Skulduggery answered.
They looked at Stephanie and Tanith and shook their heads.
"Women," they said together.

Skulduggery: Doors are for people with no imaganation.

Desmond (to Fletcher): Take our daughter. We have another one now.

Skulduggery: I seem to have lost track of this speech, I don't really know where it's going, but I know how it started and that's what I want you to remember. Has anyone seen my hat?

Ghastly: That'll teach them to underestimate stupid people.

China: Don't you have somewhere else to be? It's not that I want you to leave, it's just that I don't want you to stay.

Skulduggery: We're not retreating. We're advancing in reverse.

Scapegrace: My brain isn't dead. It's sleeping.
Thrasher: We're very happy together, just the two of us. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's very natural in fact... Scapegrace: Thrasher, shut up.

Desmond: If I approve of him, and like the cut of his jib, we may even adjourn to my study for brandy and cigars.
Valkyrie: You don't have a study.
Desmond: I mean, obviously, the downstairs toilet.

My Fanfiction career:

Rehab: Well, I created an OC for the Transformers fanfiction author SamAP for this fic. This chick is a legend. If you're a TF geek like me, you've gotta check her stuff out!!
The Eggy Egg One: MY FIRST FIC! It was created wih my buddy during a video about penguins hence all the references. Basically a crack fic for Skuttlebugs [Skulduggery Pleasant fans to the the uninitiated]
All is Fair in Love and War [Especially War: My first proper fanfiction to be published! A Sherlock Holmes movieverse fic, about Lillian Khan moving into Baker Street and getting up to all sorts of tomfoolery :P

COPY AND PASTE TIME!!!!! Tra la la !

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a phone.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and admire the beauty of the landscape afer the rains.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird ,who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with books, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a boy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different, beautiful, and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, Mikiness-Teh-Goddess, Kawaii-Inu-Mimi, hungrylikethewolf1994, ellaoptimistic, Darling Summers, Rozzyrox, Lupus Stevens, xThexBlackxRosex, Rose angel 428, Alyss Mainwaring, Vanity Storm(Jenny Dalby)Giana Sparrow, Dreaming Out Loud Since '98

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you're a girl who's tired of people thinking that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.

95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera, and yell "DO A FLIP!"

()_() ()_()
(o.O) (o.O)
( _ ) ( _ )

()_()
(o.O) We are staring at you
from behind a fence.
We are stalkers.
Beware the stalker bunnies!

Meet the bunnies. They want world domination. Help them. Copy this to your profile. (THEY HAVE COOKIES!!!)

If you could live in a bookstore so that you would be the first person to get all the new Skulduggry Pleasant books, copy and paste this to your profile.

IMPORTANT: Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsers! :D:D:D:D:D (ICK)

65% of teenagers would rather watch T.V. than read. If you are one of the 35% that would rather have their nose stuck in a book, copy this in your profile.

92% of teenagers girls would die if Justin Bieber or Robert Pattison told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8%
laughing your butt off.

If you have a wide range variety of interests, copy and paste this onto your profile.

if you are totally (I LIKE FISHPONIES!!) random ( Zebra's have stripes!) copy this onto your profile!

If you call book characters "Cute" even though you've never actually seen them, copy this to your profile

95% of people would panic if the Jonas brothers stood on the roof of a 3 story building and said they were about to jump. If you are one of the 5 who who get all of your friends, some popcorn, and a soda and scream "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" copy this.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.