Hey, there! My name is Courtney but everyone calls me Carebear or Satan (well, the neighborhood kids do).

I should warn you that if you're coming to my profile for something light and happy to read, you won't find stories like that here. I don't write stories with happy endings. Most of them have very dark themes and I can promise that you will have cried by the end. I write about touchy subjects and if any of it offends you, then don't read my stories. I don't take lightly to flames and I will humiliate you if you send one.

I am a Lord of the Rings fan. My dad introduced me to the movies when i was nine and i fell in love. My mother gave me permission to read the books when i was thirteen and I've read them six times each already.

Unlike most teenage girls, I am not obsessed with Twilight. I know! It's totally sacrilegious, right? But I can't take the sparkly vampires. I mean, what was Meyers thinking? Vampires do not sparkle and Edward's "Woe is me" attitude grates on my nerves. So what, you're a vampire! Get over it. I know a lot of girls who would like to be immortal, to never be hurt again. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone but i just don't like the Twilight series. And Bella, i think she is a Mary Sue

For as long as I can remember, have thrived on the supernatural world. I live to learn more about them. So far I've read a lot of lore about vampires, werewolves, demons, shapeshifters and spirits. I know a lot about vampires and werewolves. My mother thinks this obsession is unhealthy but it doesn't stop me from reading more about them. They fascinate me. I will freely admit that I am a very firm believer that there is more than humans and animals. I'm not saying that there are UFO's out there but the idea of something else we have yet to actually see excites me.

I've lived in Kansas City, Kansas for most of my life. It does have its downsides like all the wind. But it does have upsides like i live fifteen minutes away from the Renaissance Festival starts up in September. I went for my thirteenth birth day and i fell in love with it. I've always loved the Medieval Era but when my mother told me about the Ren Fest, i was like "Oh, my freakin' God! Are you kidding?" So, yeah, I've been going ever since. Seeing guys in kilts is like heaven (well, not the old guys. They're just creepy.) Oh and I've met the guy who plays the king! He is such a flirt. Anyway...

My favorite movies would have to be, well there is a lot of them actually. Let's see there are the Lord of the Rings 1-3, Phantom of the Opera, Pirates of the Caribbean, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Prince Caspian, Robin Hood (the one with Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham), Black Beauty, Duplicity, Tristan & Isolde, Much Ado About Nothing, The Taming of the Shrew, Run Away Bride, Pretty Woman (starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts) The Blindside, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (cause I adore Lucian and he isn't dead in this one), The Sound of Music, Breakfast at Tiffany's, My Fair Lady (my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie ever), Lost Boys (Kiefer Sutherland), Batman Begins/The Dark Knight (RIP Heath Ledger), Alice in Wonderland (Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter just tickled me!) Edward Scissorhands (I adore Johnny, can ya tell?), Harry Potter Most movies based off of Steven King novels. There are just too many to list here.

My favorite Bands/Artists/Composers: Thousand Foot Krutch, Josh Groban, Muse, The Classic Crime, Paramore, The Becoming, Red, Skillet, Hawk Nelson, Claude Debussy, Lifehouse, 10th Avenue North, The Newsboys, Revive, Kelly Clarkson, Daughtry, Death Cab for Cutie, Green Day, Finger Eleven, Journey, Whitesnake, Boston, Asia, Survivor, Evanescence, Within Temptation, David Cook, F.M Static, Mozart, Natalie Grant, Bryan Adams, Taylor Swift, Rascal Flatts, Carrie Underwood, Martina McBride (but only because of one of her songs), Dashboard Confessionals, Anberlin and so many more...

My favorite TV shows: Supernatural, Ghost Whisperer, Castle, Criminal Minds, Glee, Vampire Diaries and American Idol (whenever i find time to watch it)

My favorite Actors: Sean Bean, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Jared Padalecki, Richard Roxburgh, Gerard Butler, Johnny Depp, Alan Rickman, Clive Owens, Michael Sheen, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger (May he rest in Peace), Cillian Murphy, Bill Nighy (realize that this isn't just for looks, it's for their acting abilities, too), Hugo Weaving, Kiefer Sutherland, Ben Barnes, William Moseley, Jason Isaacs, Jeremy Irons and many others I cannot think of.

My favorite characters: Boromir, Aragorn, Eomer, Eowyn, Erestor, Elrond, Erik (the phantom for those who didn't know, Jack, Will, Davy Jones, Barbossa, Jane Bennett, Elizabeth Bennett, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, Mr. Bennett, Colonel Brandon, Caspian, Peter, Robin, the Sheriff, Lucian, David, Marco, Paul, Dwayne, Edgar, Mad Hatter, James Potter, Lucius Malfoy, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, the Weasley's (excluding Percy), Oliver Wood, Tom Riddle/Voldemort, Hagrid, Bellatrix Lestrange, Draco Malfoy, Tonks, the Joker, Batman, Dr. Jonathan Crane, Jim Gordon, Harvey Dent, Sam and Dean Winchester, Ash, Castiel, Damon, Matt, Gabriel and Bobby

My favorite character that i created: Michael O'Connell, Elizabeth Evans, Pippa Fitchwick, Ezekiel, Jensen, Marianne, Johanna, Julius, Bree, Nadia Potter and her three sisters; Cillian, Jacques, Tyra, and Kyra Barrows, Dev Austin

My least favorite characters: Lurtz (the uruk that killed my Bori! Curse him to the lowest depths of hell!) Grima, Christine Da'ae (How could she break Erik's heart?) Anna (Supernatural) Ruby, Lillith, Lucifer, Willoughby, Dumbledore (yes, i am a Dumbledore hater.) Sirius Black (love/hate thing)

My favorite pairings: Boromir/OC, Aragorn/Eowyn, Eomer/OC, Erestor/OC, Jack/OC, Caspian/Lucy, James Potter/OC, Sirius/OC, Crane/OC, The Joker/OC, Lucius/OC, Sam Winchester/OC, Dean/OC, Dean/Ruby, James/Hermione, Lucius/Hermione, Draco/Hermione (but only if it's well written)

My favorite poems: "The First Kiss of Love" by Lord Byron

Away with your fictions of flimsy romance,
Those tissues of falsehood which Folly has wove;
Give me the mild beam of the soul-breathing glance,
Or the rapture which dwells on the first kiss of love.

Ye rhymers, whose bosoms with fantasy glow,
Whose pastoral passions are made for the grove;
From what blest inspiration your sonnets would flow,
Could you ever have tasted the first kiss of love.

If Apollo should e'er his assistance refuse,
Or the Nine be dispos'd from your service to rove,
Invoke them no more, bid adieu to the Muse,
And try the effect, of the first kiss of love.

I hate you, ye cold compositions of art,
Though prudes may condemn me, and bigots reprove;
I court the effusions that spring from the heart,
Which throbs, with delight, to the first kiss of love.

Your shepherds, your flocks, those fantastical themes,
Perhaps may amuse, yet they never can move:
Arcadia displays but a region of dreams;
What are visions like these, to the first kiss of love?

Oh! cease to affirm that man, since his birth,
From Adam, till now, has with wretchedness strove;
Some portion of Paradise still is on earth,
And Eden revives, in the first kiss of love.

When age chills the blood, when our pleasures are past
For years fleet away with the wings of the dove
The dearest remembrance will still be the last,
Our sweetest memorial, the first kiss of love.

And "Love's Last Adieu" Lord Byron

The roses of Love glad the garden of life,
Though nurtur'd 'mid weeds dropping pestilent dew,
Till Time crops the leaves with unmerciful knife,
Or prunes them for ever, in Love's last adieu!

In vain, with endearments, we soothe the sad heart,
In vain do we vow for an age to be true;
The chance of an hour may command us to part,
Or Death disunite us, in Love's last adieu!

Still Hope, breathing peace, through the grief-swollen breast,
Will whisper, Our meeting we yet may renew:
With this dream of deceit, half our sorrow's represt,
Nor taste we the poison, of Love's last adieu!

Oh! mark you yon pair, in the sunshine of youth,
Love twin'd round their childhood his flow'rs as they grew;
They flourish awhile, in the season of truth,
Till chill'd by the winter of Love's last adieu!

Sweet lady! why thus doth a tear steal its way,
Down a cheek which outrivals thy bosom in hue?
Yet why do I ask?--to distraction a prey,
Thy reason has perish'd, with Love's last adieu!

Oh! who is yon Misanthrope, shunning mankind?
From cities to caves of the forest he flew:
There, raving, he howls his complaint to the wind;
The mountains reverberate Love's last adieu!

Now Hate rules a heart which in Love's easy chains,
Once Passion's tumultuous blandishments knew;
Despair now inflames the dark tide of his veins,
He ponders, in frenzy, on Love's last adieu!

How he envies the wretch, with a soul wrapt in steel!
His pleasures are scarce, yet his troubles are few,
Who laughs at the pang that he never can feel,
And dreads not the anguish of Love's last adieu!

Youth flies, life decays, even hope is o'ercast;
No more, with Love's former devotion, we sue:
He spreads his young wing, he retires with the blast;
The shroud of affection is Love's last adieu!

In this life of probation, for rapture divine,
Astrea declares that some penance is due;
From him, who has worshipp'd at Love's gentle shrine,
The atonement is ample, in Love's last adieu!

Who kneels to the God, on his altar of light
Must myrtle and cypress alternately strew:
His myrtle, an emblem of purest delight,
His cypress, the garland of Love's last adieu!

Just Click the song title and it'll take you to the song.

My favorite songs:

Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDKm3rl5D-c&feature=PlayList&p=94733103F063EA85&playnext_from=PL&index=52

One Thing by Eleven Fingers,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE-4xzQeS0Y&feature=PlayList&p=94733103F063EA85&playnext_from=PL&index=61

Lead Me by Sanctus Real,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAKBXBXz1fo&playnext_from=TL&videos=qGDT6r5DwJU

Last Song I'm Wasting On You by Evanescence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1cB-De57cU&feature=PlayList&p=94733103F063EA85&playnext_from=PL&index=23

Salt in the Snow by Classic Crime

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMmXAdPYBIY&feature=PlayList&p=94733103F063EA85&playnext_from=PL&index=62

If you are about to write lots of very strange facts about yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, and couldn't care less about being called strange! Then copy and paste this to your profile!

If you love England, Ireland and Wales, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy/paste this into your profile.

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy/paste this to your profile.

93 of American teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" or "Your point being?" or "You just realized this now?"" Wow, you're even more stupid than you look." copy/paste this to your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy/paste this into your profile.

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, The-Good-Die-Alone, shadowkat 2701,Afw,charmedcrazy14, charmedbaby11, thesistersthree, Charmedn1, KittyKat835, DethRose, Ying-Fa-Dono, Twistz of Doom, Eilonwy Arwen Kenobi of Narnia, Lady of Ireland

I hear voices and they don't like you

Smile -- it confuses the enemy

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

The doctors say I have multiple personalities...we disagree

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbo?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds' butts that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Is hauling ass out of town with me.

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will giva me an umbrella in the rain.
Best Friend: Will steal my umbrella and yell "Run, bitch, run!"

Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will give me up to the police for her freedom

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Never go away, even if you want them to.

Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one is around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right into her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse, post this on your profile!!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.

I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.

I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I think STRING ORCHESTRA is better than band, therefore I MUST be an out-of-date geek.

I like to READ, so I MUST do nothing except read.

I don't think VEGETARIANISM makes much sense, so I MUST think all vegetarians are hippies.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I don't like YAOI/YURI so I MUST be a homophobe.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I have ASPERGER SYNDROME so I MUST be a reclusive weirdo.

I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.

I'm CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST hate gay people.

I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I SPOT AND CORRECT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

Annoying things to do on an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

My Favorite Quotes:

"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." The Dark Knight, Harvey Dent

"Take some rest. These borders are well protected." "I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me, even now, there is hope left, but I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope. My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing, and our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it, Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?" "I have seen the White City, long ago." "One day, our paths will lead us there and the tower guard will take up the call: The Lords of Gondor have returned."- Aragorn and Boromir

"Hey." "..." "What?" "Awkward." Sam and Dean Winchester, Supernatural

"What?" "I lost my shoe." Dean and Sam Winchester, Supernatural

"I have dreamed a dream but now that dream is gone from me." Morpheus, The Matrix

"A Wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!"

catches Norrington's annoyed look

"I know. Clap 'em in irons." Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

"They have cave troll." Boromir, Fellowship of the Ring

"Give me your hand. Take my hand. Don't you let go. Don't let go...Reach!" Samwise Gamgee

"I can see the Shire. The Brandywine River. Bag End. The Lights in the Party Tree."
"Rosie Cotton dancing. She had ribbons in her hair. If ever I were to marry someone, it would have been her. It would have been her."
"I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things." Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee

"I can't do this, Sam."
"I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."
"What are we holding onto, Sam?"
"That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for." Frodo and Sam

"I'm sitting in a laundromat reading about myself sitting in a laundromat reading about myself. My head hurts." Dean Winchester

Check me out on facebook! I need friends!

http://www.facebook.com/lady.of.ireland