ThroughImmortalEyes
 Hey! Welcome to my PROFILE! :D Have fun reading every little HILARIOUS thing you see...You better laugh or FLUFFY GETS IT! O_O ╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed If you are a teenager, copy and paste this into your profile. ╔╗╔═╦╗ put this on your page If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile! If you met your near twin (In resemblence, personality, or both) copy this into your profile. If your near twin is your best friend, copy and paste this into your profile. ~Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul like butcher knives.~ (Ain't that LOVELY? O_O) 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! If you get a good feeling inside when someone leaves a review in your story all like, 'I LOVE your story! Keep Writing!', copy this into your profile! :D If you keep your profile nice and organzied, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you sing/talk to yourself in the shower, copy and paste this onto your profile! (You know who you are... ;D) If you go back to those 'copy and paste' things and fix them if there's a mistake, copy and paste this onto your profile! I'm not quiet, I'm plotting. Music is like candy, you throw away the rappers. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. (STUPID STUPID STUPID!) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play Rock/Paper/Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their Paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought Paper would protect you! (I was ROFL'ing for hours!) A white man said "No coloured people allowed here." And the black man said. "When I was born I was black, when I grew up I was black, when I'm sick I'm black, when I go out in the sun I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I die I'll be black, but you. When you were born you were pink, when you grew up you were white, when you're sick you're green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you're cold you're blue, and when you die you'll be purple and you dare to call me coloured?" The black man sat down and the white man walked away. If you're against racism copy and paste this into your profile. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is where you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favourite song plays. Crazy is when you have random laugh-attacks. Crazy is where you do or say a totally random thing, like 'do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?' or start having a thumb war with yourself. So if your crazy copy this onto your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, Nico's Future Wife, DaughterofPoseidon32498, Annabeth Supporter, awesomexxxadrienne, ThroughImmortalEyes, If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, Percabethrox17, Nico's Future Wife, DaughterofPoseidon32498, Annabeth Supporter, awesomexxxadrienne, ThroughImmortalEyes, Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile! If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you squeal like a fangirl whenever Logan Lerman takes off his hood in the Lightning Thief trailer, copy this onto your profile! 90 percent of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing/hacked the site in the first place, copy and paste this to your Profile! :D A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile. If you hate flamers that point out every single little detail that is wrong in their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you truly believe that flames crush ALL of your self-esteem, copy and paste this into your profile. DX If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! If you obsessively check your email almost every 10 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile. If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile. If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix, copy this into your profile. If you would KILL to have wings, post this in your profile. Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile. Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. :D Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you KNOW you have too many of these copy and paste things but have no intention of stopping now copy & paste into ur profile! If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! (;D) If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile. ╔═╦═╦═╦╦╗Put this on your channel If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. Profile your into this past and copy ,retard a like beggining the from this read actually you if. Now Read It Backwards. If FanFiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you truly believe that Facebook killed Myspace, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! 93 percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the 7 percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF! If you think the Co-Co Puffs Turkey Bird-thing should go to Rehab, copy this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!! If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you think that the PJO series is the best series ever paste this to your profile. IF YOU HATE PRACHEL, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE! If you think Annabeth is watching you under her magical Yankee's cap right now, paste this into your profile! If you have ever used Di immortales in a full sentence copy and paste this to your profile. If you think Poseidon is cool, copy and past this to your profile! (He's not cool. He's STELLAR! Sooo stellar, he's STELLAH! xDD Oh Yeah.) If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you think that 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they can spread their 6-AM cheer to say, Martians, copy this into your profile. If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile. If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste to your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If ANY class kills all of your self-esteem, copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile! If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. (We know we all do it...) If you think being unique is cooler than being cool copy this into your profile. If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Twilight), copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever asked a question that the person your asking couldn't possibly know the answer to, copy and paste this on your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune! If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile! If you have an exceedingly long profile because of copy/paste items, copy this into your profile to make it even longer. Sometimes you make me so mad I want to throw you in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why not. (why do they ALWAYS do that??) Whoever said nothings's impossible, they never tryed slamming a revoling door! (That would be pretty hard!) -dude, we lived! we're livers! A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday. My friends have learned that when I smile, I'm plotting and they should be scared. Very scared. I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me. Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes! Being normal is overrated. When people don't laugh at our jokes, we don't think of it as, "You had to have been there." thing. It's more of a "You would have to be mentally retarded like us" thing. Your just jealous that the little voices are talking to me. I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't talk to me. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. I smile because I have no idea what the heck your talking about. PLEASE SPEAK ABOVE THE WHISPER IF YOU WANT AN ANSWER FROM ME! I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "the floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. I'm sarcastic. What's your super power? I tried being normal once. Worst 5 minutes of my life. God created man and said, "I can do better." Then he made woman. I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework. If I throw a stick, will you go away? The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow! If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off. There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, and there is also an 'I' in MEAT PIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless. When in doubt, push random buttons! (especially the one that says DO NOT PUSH!) Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Education is important. Although, school is another matter entirely. Ameteurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic. And to think. Which one survived? (o_O rofl) I see regular people. O_O. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three! Smile... it confuses people. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.-- Michael L. There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE. Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun! I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations and copy and paste this to your profile. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity. Real girls aren't perfect because perfect girls aren't real. ADD + magic markers = the most fun I've ever had. Somebody needs a happy meal. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. When in doubt, make words up! The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won’t make you cry. Adults are just kids with money. If you're going to be two-faced sweetie, at least make one of them pretty! Don't worry about the end of the world coming today- it's already tomorrow in Australia! If We Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid! Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways. Why is dyslexic so hard to spell? Why is verb a noun? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there? Why is it called after dark when really it's after light? (The world may never know...) Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? (I say that allll the time!) What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. I ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I don't obsess! I think intensely. I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again. HAIL THE ALMIGHTY SPOON! DESTROY THE FORK, FOR THE FORK IS ENEMY OF THE SPOON REPUBLIC!! HAIL THE SPOON REPUBLIC! You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. (Note to self: Never tell someone they're not cool.) Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! (Rofl!!) Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. (Ha, it's hilarious to watch. Trust me ;D) They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. (So true!) When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it. (Ha ha, I wonder what the world would respond with...) Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. (I tried... Yeah, don't try it. It hurts. Stupid gravity...) Don’t knock on death (Hades)’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. (Yeah, I bet he does. Rofl!) My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone. (Sooo me!) The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. (Awwww... Barney. It's all your fault they're gone! You ruin EVERYTHING! cries) Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. (WOW, ITS AMAZIN HOW THESE CUT AND PASTE THNGS R SOOOO TRUE!) A good friend will help you up when you fall. A best friend is the one that trips you. (I fall all the time and when I look up, my best friend is standing over me, laughing her head off. That's when I got up, push her and walk away dramaticly. She laughs even harder. ROFL!) A word to the wise ain't nessacery. It's the stupid ones that need advice. TGWF: Thank God We're Female Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. He who laughs last didn't get it. R.I.P.- Zoe Nightshade, Bianca diAngelo, Castor(son of Mr. D), Pan, Quintus/Daedulus, Lee Fletcher, Silena, Beckendorf, Michael and all of the other Demigods who fell fighting for Camp Half-Blood. ~They will never be forgotten...~ Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches? When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet cool people... then kill them. Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" (That's a really good question...I wonder...) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. The harder you try, the dumber you look. Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with. I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up! Take my advice, I don't use it anyway. "I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT!" Sarcasm makes the world go round. True Friends Equals: Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over. Insane? Ehhh... we prefer mentally hillarious. It's only illeagal if you get caught. Good girls are bad girls who don't get caught. Good girls are made of sugar and spice, If aliens are looking for intelligent life, WHY THE HELL are you scared? Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies? (lol xDD) (\ _ /) This is Bunny. (Yes, this is the bunny. And he will take over the universe, one fanfiction profile at a time xD) ／l、 Sorry Kitty, but I'm already helping Bunny with world domination but you can stay here and keep him company :D He gets lonely xDD. Mental Hospital Phone Menu Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital! If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up. Ways to Get Kicked Out of Walmart... 50 Ways To Annoy people At The Cinema Quick answers... 1. Beer: bubbly 2. Anorexic: nauseous 3. Relationships: boy meets girl 4. Purple: The Barney Color! :D 5. Power Rangers: Teenage Mutan Ninja Turtles: Human Edition 6. Weed: flowers ;D 7. Steroids: Hyper 8. Cartoons: Saturday morning fun-ness :D 9. The President: Evil O_O 10. Tupperware: What's that? ... O_O 11. Best vacation: Disney World (Dreams DO come true O_O) 12. Santa Claus: Fat Guy 13. Halloween: Favorite. Holiday. Ever. O_O 14. Bon Jovi: i dont know .-. 15. Grammar: I already know it -.-" 16. Facebook: I dont have one and I'm proud! ^-^ 17. Worst fear: SPIDERS O_O...*shudders* 18. Marriage: Keep it PG (cough cough breaking dawn cough cough) 19. Paris Hilton: boney... 21. Redhead: people who die of Alshiemers when they're 40 O_O 22. Blonde: What if I'm a blonde, HUH? What answer do I put??? 23. Pass the time: Reading, writing, or listening to music 24. One night stands: Sounds fun but I dont think I've tried it... .-. 25. Donald Trump: Very rich and You're fired! xD 26. Neverland: Michael Jackson O_O 27. Pixie Sticks: VERY. GOOD. Nuff said ;D 28. Vanilla ice cream: Yuck. GO CHOCOLATE!! :D 29. High School: Drama 24/7 30. Work: Sorry, I was sleeping. What did you say?? o.O 31. Pajamas: i don't know .-. They're PJ's :P 32. Woods: Where two things happen: Camp Half-Blood and hunting...(cough cpugh for Edward Cullen cough cough) 33. Wet Sock: Ewwwwwwww... WHYYYYY??? 34. Alcohol: Ewwwwwwwwww times 2... 35. Love: The only thing that makes the world go 'round!...Or half around .-. 6 Truths of Life 1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue. 2. All idiots after reading that will try it. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4.You are now laughing at your own stupidity. 5. You will put this on your profile. 6. You still have a stupid smile on your face. Reasons why girls are the best! 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. Pick the month you were born in: Pick the day (number) you were born on: 01: ...a camera... Pick the color of shirt you are wearing: White: ...because I'm sexy like that. Mine is... "I slept with an Easter egg because that's how I roll." O_O...oooookay then ;D PONDER THIS Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Things to do in an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, 2) STAND silent and motionless in the 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look 12) TRY to make personal calls on the 13) DRAW a little square on the floor 14) WHEN there's only one other person 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they 16) ASK if you can push the button for 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 23) Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now! :D 7 Ways to scare your roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you’re hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Twilight Oath I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlies sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle Whenever I am in the emergency room And I promise to remember Emmett Everytime there's a huge boom I promise to to remember Rose Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful bronze hair And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me they care I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my stomach isn't curled And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes, I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know! Copy and Paste this onto your profile if you promise to always stay loyal to Twilight! :D To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity. Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. |
