Kiss my Coffinhide bio
 I'm Brittany. Or Clarice. Or Jane Alexander. I don't write fan fictions, but I might post a poem occasionally. I don't really know what to post here because I'm not sure if you guys even read this stuff, so I'll just say whatever comes to my mind. Interests pepsi, coffee, poetry, literature, Harry Potter, Twilight(off and on since 2006), Stephen King, Jodi Picoult, french fries, graduating, college, criminal law, Europe, French, psychology, twitter, tumblr, photography, facebook, stuffed animals, pretty jewelry, cameras, myspace, blogging about stupid stuff, funny yahoo questions, laughter, google, scholarships that require little effort on my part |
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Esprit de Corps by FreedomOftheSeas reviews
COMPLETE. A Soldier of Chaos leads the Black Pearl's crew on an unexpected adventure into the depths of Hades and to the tops of Mount Olympus to battle against corrupt Heathen gods, revealing a dark truth about the power behind Fountain of Youth's eternal waters.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 167,946 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/9/2012 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Hector B., Teague, OC - Complete
Loving Mr Cullen by Masen'sGirL reviews
Isabella Swan is a believer of true love. However her latest boyfriend ends their relationship on her birthday. Distracted by the latest break-up, she bumps into a car and a man steps out of it - who turns out to be her new boss, Edward Cullen. ALL HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 38,974 - Reviews: 595 - Favs: 303 - Follows: 367 - Updated: 7/21/2010 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Edward, Bella
The Wild and Wacky Adventures of Edward in PE! by LindaRoo reviews
Hilarity ensues when Edward comes back at the end of New Moon and he and Alice get Mrs. Cope to change their schedules to put them in Bella's gym class. How can they appear human when their superhuman athletic aptitudes keep getting in the way?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 74,371 - Reviews: 1984 - Favs: 2,261 - Follows: 1,686 - Updated: 3/9/2009 - Published: 2/27/2007
Edward's Date Night Extravaganza by Skipper Pompeii reviews
During the summer between Twilight and New Moon Bella and Edward share many days and nights together. In these up coming chapters we explore the possible scenarios that might take place if Edward were to plan all the dates. Rated T for safety.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,019 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 431 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 3/9/2009 - Published: 3/12/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Pictures of You by onthepursuitofhappiness reviews
AU/AH. When Bella Swan is forced to spend the day with cocky Edward Cullen for a school assignment will the way she originally saw him change?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,422 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella Mia by Nouvelle reviews
Lunch time misunderstandings are the best ones of all. Oneshot Bella x Edward AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,347 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/27/2008 - Published: 4/5/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bella's Bachelorette Bash by LindaRoo reviews
Alice throws Bella a surprise bachelorette party in a posh Portland penthouse, complete with sexy games, embarrassing gifts, tequila shots, a stripper named Emmett, and a night of clubbing. Rated M for sexual dialogue and adult situations.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 29,517 - Reviews: 681 - Favs: 467 - Follows: 518 - Updated: 10/22/2008 - Published: 6/28/2008 - Bella, Alice
Come Whatever May by HolliiiCruiser reviews
When Bella Swan moves to Forks, she's less than enthusiastic. But will one night of uncensored teenage fun, along with some help from the enigmatic and utterly gorgeous Edward Cullen help changer her mind? Click the title, I know you want to! Eventual EXB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,726 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/9/2008 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Complete
Blood Bath by I'm.Forbidden.Fruit reviews
Bella and Edward exploring some boundaries. Just some fluff, Dedicated to those who wanted Bella to drop the towel. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,518 - Reviews: 643 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 7/4/2008 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Complete
Separated by kathyhermy123
A poem that is basically Edmward wondering how things could have gone wrong. Could be set in New Moon, but the timing isn't exactly tied down. Please review, but flaming will be reported.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/26/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Playing Footsie by Scarlett71177 reviews
Bella wonders why Edward never removes his shoes at night with her. Set during 'the happiest summer' after Twilight. E/B, one shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,751 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 57 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Truth or Dare : School Version by MrsEdwardAnthonyMasenCullen95 reviews
In an English class with all the Cullens and Bella plus others, The teacher gets called out sick. So they start a game of truth or dare. Will the CUllens secret still be a secret by the end? read and Reveiw! BxE AxJ EmxR MxJ AxB - All usual couples,
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,500 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 6/9/2008 - Published: 4/13/2008 - Complete
Forgotten by kristina.cullen reviews
Cute moment with Bella and Edward, and how Bella frequently reacts to him.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Complete
Oops? by l'heure bleue reviews
—3: Rock Hard— "Rock HARD ON... get it?" It was on a normal day that I almost died for the second time. Or ... as normal a day as humanly – haha! Humanly ... – possible at the Cullen house.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,430 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 360 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 5/6/2008 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Rose By Any Other Name by Niamh929 reviews
Rosalie and Emmett’s story. Rated M for sexual content and strong language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,411 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 4/28/2008 - Published: 3/13/2008
Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez by Arabella16 reviews
What happens when the Cullens decide Bella needs a certain human experience that requires traveling to a city where they let the good times roll? What happens when Bella does something shocking making Edward run away? Will she find him? MUCH MORE INSIDE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 40,694 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/20/2008 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Complete
Denial With One Major Flaw by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
These two exes want to hate each other. But that's rather hard when in actuality...you love them. Add in all that casual sex and it's near impossible. They're tired of pretending. BxE, AU, all human, one-shot. PLEASE review, not just favorite.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,869 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 760 - Follows: 154 - Published: 4/19/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Brotherhood by LindaRoo reviews
The Cullen boys go hunting. Jasper can't stop quoting The Princess Bride, Emmett can't stop quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Edward, rather put out, responds with Shakespeare. Hilarity ensues! Co-written with the awesome Blondie AKA Robin.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,195 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 4/13/2008 - Published: 3/31/2008
Electricity by night lupine reviews
Hoorah for movies, and other such silly human activities! Edward and Bella, in a dark theater. No surprises there. ...Oh, who am I kidding? It can't be more than T.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,147 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/10/2008 - Complete
Pick up lines the Cullens Should Use by FictionalFanGirl reviews
Pickup lines the Cullens should use. Edward's third one is my favorite muahaha. Rated M for mature themes and immature suggestions.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 294 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/7/2008 - Complete
Syrup Anyone? by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Bella shows Edward the joys of chocolate syrup. One-shot. Cute. Somewhat fluffy. BXE
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 907 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 49 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Complete
All Aboard by BookMe reviews
Rosalie, Alice and Bella win a 3week luxury cruise around the Caribbean where they meet Emmett, Jasper and Edward. Pleanty going on in this story. Also my personal favourite; All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 80,563 - Reviews: 1207 - Favs: 1,473 - Follows: 445 - Updated: 4/2/2008 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Complete
Edwards Control by I'm.Forbidden.Fruit reviews
Throughout the twilight books Edward says that he can't control himself when he and Bella are more intimate. So this is a short EPOV for when he gets "tempted by Bella" *fluff alert* One-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,573 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 4/2/2008 - Published: 2/4/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Bachelor Party by ScorpioGirl1987 reviews
Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Charlie go to Seattle for Edward's bachelor party. Contains a drunken Charlie, mild swearing, and mature content. NOW COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,721 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/23/2008 - Published: 1/17/2008 - Complete
Bellas Human Moment by missusb reviews
Bella has a human moment while staying over at Edwards. one shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,081 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/15/2008 - Complete
Loss by SoEagerForEternalDamnation reviews
What were the Cullens’ reactions to Edward’s decision to leave Bella? Esme POV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 595 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/3/2008 - Complete
Love Lines by Scarlett71177 reviews
Bella reads Edward's palm.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,205 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 98 - Published: 1/14/2008 - Complete
Bella by BluSkye425 reviews
A poem written by Edward after New Moon
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 73 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/14/2007 - Complete
Battle Scars by Sophisticated.Simplicity reviews
Edward divulges an interesting piece of his past to Bella. [EdwardBella]
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/25/2007 - Complete
Being Schooled in Love by Nollie Marie reviews
Bella is the new girl on campus, Edward the big guy on campus. And when they meet, Bella will do everything in her power to stay OUT of Edward's bed while Edward wants to get to know her better. What will happen? Read 2 find out. Please R&R! No Vamps here
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 36,521 - Reviews: 2327 - Favs: 1,574 - Follows: 558 - Updated: 11/20/2007 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Complete
My Brother and His Girlfriend by CuriosityRedux reviews
When Bella gets sick one night while staying at the Cullen's house, Jasper, Lord of Emotions, gets new insight into hers and Edward's relationship. J's POV
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,877 - Reviews: 462 - Favs: 1,372 - Follows: 202 - Published: 9/21/2007 - Complete
Moonless Night by sillybella reviews
A series of oneshots about Edward's life before Bella arrived in Forks. A personal challenge from apocalyspe cabaret AKA art of pretension
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,208 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 8/5/2007 - Published: 7/19/2007
Fishing by sillybella reviews
Twilight Challenge Forum August Challenge: Edward and Bella with the Volturi from the POV of any of the Volturi or their guards.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,094 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/4/2007 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Complete
Urban Living by I Heart Edward Cullen reviews
“Edward.” She savored his name, rolling it around in her mouth like a succulent piece of hard candy. “You know, it was really nice meeting you, but I’ve got to run.” Wanted ads and life in the rainy city. ExB AU from the author of Butterscotch & Chocolate
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,674 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 31 - Published: 7/18/2007
I Love You More by sillybella reviews
Will Edward ever understand how much Bella loves him? Oneshot fluff.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 646 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 43 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Complete
Snow in Forks by sweet.sonata reviews
[Twilight]This is a oneshot on the day it snowed in Forks. This takes place before Bella saw the Cullens and Hales sitting at lunch, and noticing Edward, Emmett, and Jasper covered in snow.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 766 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Complete
Logic vs Instinct by Taichi-Yamato4ever reviews
We all know Edward wants Bella, but is more than love?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 261 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Complete
Truth Or Dare by musical-gerbil reviews
The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett’s competitiveness, Bella’s clumsy streak, Rosalie’s vanity, Alice’s quirky sense of humour, Edward’s protectiveness, Jasper’s naivety and Carlisle
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,040 - Reviews: 511 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 5/6/2007 - Published: 9/15/2006 - Complete
Alice and Renee go to Big Lots to buy Gnomes by LindaRoo reviews
“Spending eternity with a bad flashlight is not something to be taken lightly,” Alice said, her words riddled with cryptic vampirish meaning. “Forever is a long time to be stuck with a cheap LED light, especially when you’re awake at night a lot.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,676 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 22 - Published: 4/30/2007 - Complete
Butterscotch and Chocolate by I Heart Edward Cullen reviews
A series of drabbles, updated whenever. EdwardxBella. A quick laugh, a thought to chew on, and Edward angst. UPDATE: The horror of the DMV, Jacob angst, and now with tasty beta flavor, courtesy of Lomesir! Thanks for nearly 200 reviews! Much love for all!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 14,592 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 3/17/2007 - Published: 3/21/2006
Jasper in Gym by LindaRoo reviews
A PE scene from Twilight, from Jasper's point of view.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,282 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 41 - Published: 2/1/2007 - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1739 - Favs: 3,172 - Follows: 670 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
A Brother's Love by bronzehairedgirl reviews
Edward is hunting and sends Emmett to keep an eye on Bella. An exploration of Bella and Emmett's relationship.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,503 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 1/24/2007 - Published: 1/17/2007 - Complete