XxSweetLittleRoseXx
 Hey,Hi,Hello!! My name is Rose (not really it's just my nickname) I am so freaking obssessed with the Vampire Academy series. I am tottaly in love with Dimitri Belikov and i really don't hate him after SB...I do however hate Adrian Ivashkov -.- Everyone says i'm strange,well i am a little. I like the clod,but hate the sun and I am obssessed with Vampires. Ohh and some news for you! Vampire Academy is going to be a graphic novel expect it in 2011 and the movie should be out in 2012 Gotta love Richelle and Facebook 1) T,V Shows: Vampire Diaries (neit ) ( Supernatural) ,and Moonlight. 2) Books: Vampire Academy (Team Dimitri because he is a badass Russian God!) Twilight (Team Edward all the way!) Vampire Diaries House Of Night (Team Stark who wouldn't be?1) Blue Bloods (Team Jack) Mortal Instruments (Team Jace because he's just Jace and lovable!!) Maximum Ride (Team Fang because he is awsome!!) 3) Movies: Too many to count. 4) Favorite color: Purple and Black 5)Dream Boys: Dimitri Belikov ( Why? Because he is so damn gorgeous!!) And maybe Edward Cullen. 6) Favorite Country: Russia of course! ( What do you expect form a Dimitri fan gril?) The couples I would write most about is: Shane/Claire Jace/Clary Rose/Dimitri I AM TEAM GALE! WOOT! You have been diaginoised with Obssessive Cullen Dis order,put this on your profile if you have it too! You say pink' I say black! You say the Harry Potter series, I say the Twilight series! You say the Jonas brothers are hot, I say the Cullen brothers are hotter! You say Miley Cyrus, I say Taylor Swift! You say Harry and Ginny, I say Edward and Bella! You say Werwolves, I say Vampires! You say Team Jacob, I say Team Edward 4 ever! You say you hate Twilight, I say I hate you! Find the guy who calls you Beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back after you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to wacht you sleep, wait for the guy that kisses you forhead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when you're in your sweatpants, who holds you hand in front of all his friends, who thinks you're beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you how much he cares and how lucky is to have you, The one who turns to his freinds and says THAT'S HER! A guy gets a gril 11 real roses and one fake rose. When he gave her the 12 roses, he said,"I'll love you untill the last roses dies." I am the gril that people look through when I say something. I am the gril who spends most of her free time reading,writing, or doingt other activties that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the gril that people call weird or freak either behind her back ot to her face. I am the gril who doesn't spend all her time in MySpace, or talking to a grilfreind on her cell phone or regular phone. I am the gril who hasn't been asked out in a year. I am that has stoped to smell the flowers or splashed in the rain. But, I am also the gril who knows and is proud to be who she is,doesn't care if people call her wierd (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems the time to do anymore,who loves and is obssessed with Twilight,who can express herself better with wrods,than with emials and knows the importance of the little things. I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember Edward Whenever i'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlie's sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle Whenever I am in the emergency room And I promise to remember Emmet Everytime there's a huge boom I promise to remember Rose Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice When i'm at the mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful bronze hair And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me they care I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my stomach isn't curled And i promise tp remember the Voulturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes I promise to love to love Twilight Wherever I may go So all may see my obssession Because I know all what Twilighters know If you have ever been so obssessed with Twilight,that whenever you hear thunder,you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/past this into your profile. If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen,a completely fictional charecter...copy/past this into your profile If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile If you are Team Edward, copy and paste this in your profile. -if you cant wait for the fifth vampire academy book to come out, put this on your profile if you cried like a baby through the last chapters of shadow kiss because you thought Dimitri was dead, post this on your profile if you are so angry at the freaking strigoi for turning dimitri and taking him away from rose, post this If you support the ‘Rose somehow SAVING and NOT KILLING Dimitri’ club, copy this into your profile If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire, put this in your profile Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile If you think being weird is cooler than being cool. Copy & Paste this into ur profile Fav couples from books: Dimitri/Rose (DUH!), Sookie/Eric (used to like Bill), Ever/Damon, Schuyler/Jack, Bianca/Lucas, Aislinn/Keenan, Suze/Jesse, Jace/Clary, Stark/Zoey (I seriously used to like Erik, but he turned out to be a major asshole), Katniss/Peeta, Max/Fang Fun things to do in an elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, 2) STAND silent and motionless in the 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look 12) TRY to make personal calls on the 13) DRAW a little square on the floor 14) WHEN there's only one other person 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they 16) ASK if you can push the button for 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're Fave quotes: A really ripped, really tall, and really pissed off Russian guy. Rose Hathaway, Vampire Academy I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. Emmett's the strongest. But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous My life's motto: Live everyday as if the Volturi were coming... lol (unless Alec's coming with. THEN, wait until they do come, then hug him.) Ten things to see before you die TEAM EDWARD: because all guys should be this perfect... TEAM EMMETT: because I LOVE a guy with muscles... TEAM JASPER: he can take a snap at me any time... TEAM CARLISLE: because I like to play doctor... haha... TEAM ALEC: cause everyone loves a bad boy (love you Alec!) CULLENISM: my new religion. DRACULA? Pff, more like Edward Cullen... I have OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder. MIKE NEWTON: The idiot that needs advise. PROUD TO BE A BRUNETTE! (Edward prefers them. Take that, blondes!) My life's motto: Live everyday as if the Volturi were coming... lol (unless Alec's coming with. THEN, wait until they do come, then hug him.) Ten things to see before you die 1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal. 2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies. 3. Homer say something intelligent. 4. Taxes disappear. 5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes. 6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children. 7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect. 8. Wrestling people forget their moves. 9. The coyote catch the road runner. 10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile -If you support the ‘Rose somehow SAVING and NOT KILLING Dimitri’ club, copy this into your profile -if you have read every vampire book you can get your little hands on, post it up!If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes about twilight, copy this into your profile -if vampires are real, post it If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profileNinety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off. If you are so angry at the freaking Strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this. If vampires are real, post it. If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the hell of it then copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your 87 of people think the world is going to end in 2012. C&P this if you'll be watching your fave movie or reading your fave book while they hide. EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! Copy and Paste this to your profile and add your name to the end of it if you embrace the weirdness too! If you do a small, festive dance inside your head every time you read or hear the name Dimitri, copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this onto your profile My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your proflie. If you wish you could go to a vampire academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile .If you have deja vu a lot, copy this into your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did." "It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with." "I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?" Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together "Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you." Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls." "Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped "Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that." Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over." "You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary." Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door." "I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it." "I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it." "I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on." dear God, may Robert Pattinson never find his shirt again, Amen If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. 27 Random things I learned from reading Twilight: 1. You can enjoy the bouquet, while resisting the wine. 26. Don't go out into the forest alone. 28. If you ignored #28, AVOID HEIDI AT ALL COSTS! 29. Even the vampire world has a mafia. A very, very, very scary mafia 1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. 2) You own all above mentioned books. (Uh... I am yet 2 buy Twilight, but my BFF read it 2 me via the phone, so... yeah.) 3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and 4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site. (Not really.) 5) You have reread a lot of these pages. (Nope.) 6) You read fanfiction about Twilight. (No shit, Sherlock.) 7) You write fanfiction about Twilight. (As I said before, no shit, Sherlock!) 8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says 9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out. (The movie, yes. I have the book.) 10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a 11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, 12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight 13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off. (OK, this is just creepy...HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?) 14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk 15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for 16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you 17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something 18) No matter how many times you read Twilight 19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing 20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a 21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever. ( Who says their mythical?) 22) Your personal motto is, vampires are friends, not scary. ( Uh-huh.) 23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people 24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought 25). You are constantly thinking of something Twilight related, and sometimes you even talk about what you were thinking of to yourself. (This is getting weird...) 26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information (No, but I haunt one of the sites that always has Twilight information.) 27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns (LOL. Yeah.) 28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean (What?) 29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website (No.) 30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series (I'm trying to find a DECENT ONE THAT WON'T PROVOKE ANY QUESTIONS FROM MY RENTS.) 31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008 (Nope.) 32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition (Nope.) 33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it. (I wish.) 34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books (Yep.) 35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them (Yep.) 36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines (Yep.) 37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die (How did you know?) 38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care(Yep.) 39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2nd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're phsyco (Yes, but in different context.) 40). You're more excited about the release of Breaking Dawn than anything to do with Harry Potter (HELL YEAH!) 41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you have a mental breakdown (Once again, with the movie.) 42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown (Yes.) Copy and Paste this on your profile if, you too are obsessed!! A2ACB means you are addicted to all Cullen Boys (Copy and Paste if you too are addicted.) If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro! If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is stupid copy and paste this onto your profile. "When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward Cullen." "An apple a day keeps the doctor but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit." "I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your... well you know what comes next The Perfect BF: When she walks away from you mad When she stares at your mouth When she pushes you or hits you When she starts cussing at you When she's quiet When she ignores you When she pulls away When you see her at her worst When you see her start crying When you see her walking When she's scared When she lays her head on your shoulder When she steals your favorite hat When she teases you When she doesn't answer for a long time When she looks at you with doubt When she says that she likes you When she grabs at your hands When she bumps into you When she tells you a secret When she looks at you in your eyes When she misses you When you break her heart When she says its over When she repost this bulletin Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; Things guys should know when dealing with girls. 1. Don't tell us we're sexy, tell us we're beautiful 2. When we look at your lips, kiss us already 3. When we say something about Ben Barnes, Robert Pattionson or Dimitri just smile and nod. 4. If your girlfriend blames being moody on PMS, she's upset with you and hopes you'll figure it out on your own. 5. As much as you might use it around your friends... never say boobies around girls. 6. That said, never say "Oh boobies!" in front of us. 7. We don't give a damn about how hot a girl in your math class is, if you talk about her in front of us... she might have a broken nose in math tomorrow. 8. Never say "Jockstrap" in front of us. 9. When we ignore you, but we're smiling, we think you're the best person on earth. 10. When we blush for no reason... its cause your in the room. 11. Don't try to understand PMS... unless you exprience it... you won't understand it. Trust me 12. Kiss us in the rain 13. Kiss our nose 14. When we say we're okay, we're not. 15. When we seem flushed and annoyed about something. Ask what it is. 16. When you are out and she says she wants something little like a necklace from Claire's ... buy it for her later and give it to her the next time you see her. 17. When we say that we miss you, nobody on earth misses you more 18. Say sorry even if you didn't do anything 19. Don't say we deserve better... we choose you. I l I lo I lov I love I love V I love Va I love Vamp I love Vampi I love Vampir I love Vampire I love Vampire A I love Vampire Ac I love Vampire Aca I love Vampire Acad I love Vampire Acade I love Vampire Academ I love Vampire Academy I love Vampire Academ I love Vampire Acade I love Vampire Acad I love Vampire Aca I love Vampire Ac I love Vampire A I love Vampire I love Vampir I love Vampi I love Vamp I love Vam I love Va I love V I love I lov I lo I l I A An And And T And Tw And Twi And Twil And Twili And Twilig And Twiligh And Twilight And Twiligh And Twilig And Twili And Twili And Twil And Twi And Tw And T And An A D Di Dim Dimi Dimit Dimitr Dimitri Dimitri B Dimitri Be Dimitri Bel Dimitri Beli Dimitri Belik Dimitri Beliko Dimitri Belikov Dimitri Beliko Dimitri Belik Dimtiri Beli Dimitri Bel Dimitri Be Dimitri B Dimitri Dimitr Dimit Dimi Dim Di D R Ro Ros Rose Rosem Rosema Rosemar Rosemari Rosemarie Rosemarie H Rosemarie Ha Rosemarie Hat Rosemarie Hath Rosemarie Hatha Rosemarie Hathaw Rosemarie Hathawa Rosemarie Hathaway Rosemarie Hathawa Rosemarie Hathaw Rosemarie Hatha Rosemarie Hath Rosemarie Hat Rosemarie Ha Rosemarie H Rosemarie Rosemari Rosemar Rosema Rosem Rose Ros Ro R C Ch Chr Chri Chris Christ Christi Christia Christian Christian O Christian Oz Christian Oze Christian Ozer Christian Ozera Christian Ozer Christian Oze Christian Oz Christian O Christian Christia Christi Christ Chris Chri Chr Ch C A Ad Adr Adri Adria Adrian Adrian I Adrian Iv Adrian Iva Adrian Ivas Adrian Ivash Adrian Ivashk Adrian Ivashko Adrian Ivashkov Adrian Ivashko Adrian Ivashk Adrian Ivash Adrain Ivas Adrian Iva Adrian Iv Adrian I Adrian Adria Adri Adr Ad A I I h I ha I hat I hate I hate j I hate ja I hate jac I hate jaco I hate Jacob I hate jaco I hate jac I hate ja I hate j I hate I hat I ha I h I I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have slanty eyes. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I am “POPULAR”, so I MUST be a rude stuck up brat I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I am “POPULAR”, so I MUST be a rude stuck up brat I am in BAND, so I MUST be a freak Stop sterotypes! Copy this into your bio. If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile If your up half the night, post this on your profile. Who do you like more: Rose or Dimitri? Dimitri Rose or Adrian? Rose Rose or Lissa? Rose Lissa or Adrian? Lissa Rose or Mia? Rose Christian or Lissa? Both! Christian or Dimitri? Dimitri!!well both!! Kirova or Alberta? Alberta Adrian or Christian? Christian Janine Hathaway or Tasha Ozera? Janine Lissa or Mia? Lissa Eddie or Mason Eddie Anna or Vladimir? Anna Adrian or Mason? Adrian Eddie or Christian? Christian Eddie or Adrian? Eddie Who's the better villain: Blonde Strigoi (Nathan) or Victor? Victor i can't believe he did that to Lissa. Moroi or Dhampir? Dhampir 1. Rose 2.Dimitri 3. Christian 4. Adrian 5.Lissa 6. Zoey 7. Stevie-Rae 8. Robert Pattinson 9. Janine 10. Erik 11.Darien 12. Edward 13. Emmett 14. Alice What if 14 and 4 got together? Adrian would use one of his cheesey pick up lines and so yea but then jasper would kill adrian soo... What if 14 hooked up with 8? haha that would be funny What if 12 and 10 got together? uhmm edward would go psycho lol What if 14 and 2 hooked up? Hell no rose would beat alice up anyways What if 10 and 6 got together? uhmm darien is gayy i mean hell no!! What if 1 and 9 hooked up? eww and + rose hates her mom What if 3 was in the same book as 5? uhmm they are dude What if 11 and 8 hooked up? hahahahah darien and rob lol who knows!! What if 9 and 11 hooked up? nooo ppl darien is gayy for the last time (no offense gay ppl i love u guys!!) What if 14 and 3 hooked up? dude hell no What if 1 and 2 hooked up? uhmm well they allready r ppl What if 3 got 4 pregnant? Favourite Quotes "When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, sit back, and laugh as the world wonders how you did it." A friend has to ask for your number. A best friend has kidnapped your phone and is trying to call you for the ransom." "I'm an angel, honest! These horns are to keep the halo straight." "You should not be afraid of life. No one comes out alive, anyway." "Music is like candy--you throw away the rappers." "A friend will hide you from the cops. A best friend is why they're after you." "Of course I know all the answers! The teachers just never ask the right questions." "There is no such thing as normal. If you think you are normal, you are delusional. Which means you are insane, which is the same as crazy and just as good as weird. Yay weird people!" "Education is important. School, however, is another matter." "Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that." "I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search for what some may call 'a floor'--a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, for I may not return alive." "All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative." This is bunny. ／l、 Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows. Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely! Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now! 92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS?? My name is Tiffany I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is tiffany I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me Speak out agianst child abuse! 92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS?? WAYS TO KNOW UR WAY TOO OBESSED WITH TWILIGHT 1. You can barely read about Edward without screaming in pleasure 2. You find yourself narating your life, like bella does 3. When in difficult situations, you find yourself thinking 'what would bella do?' 4. When things get rough, you say 'at least i;m not being chased my vampires. but that would be awesome!' 5. You yell at the book and talk to the characters 6. you and ur friends have made up a group costume for the movie premiere already 7. Your best friend called you at like 10 at night so you could see the cullen cast 8. and when she did, you spent like an hour insulting them and freaking out 9. When you went to the breaking dawn party, you screamed so much that a guy fell down, scared to death 10. You were disappointed in breaking dawn, but loved it anyway b.c at least everyone;s happy 11. But your sad because now all you have to look foward to are the movies 12. YOU ARE PISSED BECAUSE STEPHENIE MEYER IS PUTTING MIDNIGHT SUN ON HOLD!! 13. You always relate songs to twilight 14. You relate real life situations to twilight 15. You have your own cast for twilight, b.c the real one is disappointing 16. Everytime you watch the trailers, you scream and no one can stop you You say - Pink You Say Pink You say Pink im just me . and thats all I can be You say Romeo and Juliet, I say Dimika and Rose You say Werewolves, I say Vampires You say you're creepy, I say I know! :) When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DEMITRI BELIKOV!! The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now of dentists by learning this fact copy and paste to your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever lost someone you love copy and paste this to your profile. If you have a true friend copy and paste this to your profile. If you look on people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste, copy and paste this to your profile. 99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to make friends,relationsips,etc. post this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile. If everytime you hear thunder you think or say "well someone got a home run", copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever fallen upstairs, copy and paste this in your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a question that the person your asking couldn't possibly know the answer to, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile. If you've ever pulled on a door that said push or vise versa, copy and paste this into you profile. If you consider your family strange, but love them anyway, put this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy this onto your profile. If you've reread Twilight over four times, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you read New Moon and wanted to punch Jacob Black, copy this into your profile. (I always want to punch him :D) If you cry every time you read New Moon, copy this into your profile. If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, Jasper, or Emmett from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile If you read New Moon and Eclipse and you wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD copy and paste this into your profile. (actually I wanted to kick him until he died, especially after Eclipse) If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile. If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile. If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile. If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile. If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile. If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile. If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile. Favorite Twilight Quotes: "About three things I was absolutely positive about. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." Bella in Twilight "Do I dazzle you?" Edward in Twilight "I love you. It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing but it's still true." Edward in Twilight "How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?" Alice in New Moon "Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. And then you shot across the sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore, and there was no more reason for anything." Edward in New Moon "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." "What a stupid lamb." "What a sick, masochistic lion." Edward and Bella in Twilight "I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!" Edward reading from Wuthering Heights in Eclipse Favorite Quotes: You have one advantage over me. You can kiss my butt and I can't. When did I realise I was god? Well I was praying and suddenly I realized I was talking to myself ~0~ Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? ~0~ Please read-true story (not me) I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or Quotes: "There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on path? Will others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up." "At this moment, there are 6 billion, 4 hundred, 71 million, 8 hundred, 18 thousand, 6 hundred, 71 people in the world. Some are running scared.. some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day.. others are just now facing the truth.Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good.. struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls -- and sometimes.. all you need is 1. "You ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you, how many moments of other peoples lives have we been in, we're we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true, or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it." Did you know... kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the If you would rather search hundreds of profiles at hours end looking for a certain category for a fanfic, I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something. Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL, Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART, Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, Calling me POOR won't make you RICH, Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT, Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL, So why bother? so youre saying that i'm a loser because i don't want to be popular. labels dont define me x¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨ x copy and paste this to your profile if u absolutely love Dimitri Belikov, then put your pen name down there-- Dimitri's Shadowhunter,XSweetXLittleXRose I If you absolutely love Dimitri and Adrian and Jace and Simon copy and paste this onto ur profile, then add ur name- ╔═╦══╦═╗ Put this on your THESE are my Evil Demonic Plot Bunnies. ...() () (\_/) (\_/) they want to ask you to PLEASE copy and paste them...PLEASE!? ,-.,-. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. if you think lemons shall rule the world copy and paste this into your profile Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. IF Miley Cyrus were standing on top of the Empire State Building, 94 percent of children and teens would be crying their eyes out. Sign and re-post if you'd be part of the 6 percent yelling "JUMP BITCH JUMP!" ChrissiMissi01, glossygirl125, DaisyInTheField, TeamComrade, Dimitri's Marked Shadowhunter,XSweetXLittleXRose Quotes i love: the psychiatrist took away my super powers. there is no I in TEAM but there is a ME in AWESOME It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn When your dad is mad and he says, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him There is a light at the end of every tunnel...just pray it's not a train. You laught at me because I'm strange. I laugh at you because you're stupid! Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. It's just that yours is stupid. If something seems too good to be true, then it usaully is. Curiousity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect If you can't convince them, confuse them. HA HA HA! HAHAHAHA...wait...what? Never knock on death's door. Ring the door bell and run away! Death hates that. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room? There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "Mental illness" There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead. Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes. Always smile. It makes people wonder what you're up to. I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone. Equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate is a balanced diet. Be nice to people. They outnumber you 5.5 billion to one. any Tallahasse quotes A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a poem with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received: Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed. I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head. I see your face when I am dreaming That's why I always wake up screaming My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe "go to hell" B O O K S The Twilight Saga - Stephenie Meyer (of course, who still haven't read it yet?) Vampire Academy series - Richelle Mead Morganville Vampire - Rachel Caine House of Night series - P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast Evernight series - Claudia Gray Blue Bloods series - Melissa dela Cruz Vampire Kisses - Ellen Schreiber Evermore (series) - Alyson Noel The Vampire Diaries series - LJ Smith Thirst - Christopher Pike Wings - Aprilynne Pike Mortal Instruments series - Cassandra Clare Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris Dark Visions - L.J. Smith some Nicholas Sparks books some Nora Roberts books Blood and Choclate- Hush,Hush-Becca Fitzpatrick Fallen-Lauren Kate ~Damon Salvatore - The Vampire Diaries (TV) Damon: It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud. Stefan: Yes, being a one hundred and fifty year-old teenager has been the height of my happiness. ~The Vampire Diaries (TV) Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped! Caroline: You've gotta read the first book first. It won't make sense if you don't. Damon: Ah, I miss Anne Rice, she was so on it. ~The Vampire Diaries (TV) Damon: "Good morning to you, little Miss 'I'm on a mission'." Elena: "How can you be so arrogant and glib after everything you've done?" Damon: "And how can you be so brave and stupid to call a vampire arrogant and glib?" ~The Vampire Diaries (TV) Caroline: Am I shallow? Matt: No. Caroline: I'm shallow. Shallow as a kiddy pool. ~The Vampire Diaries (TV) And then, suddenly, he was there, charging down the hallway like Death in a cowboy duster. ~Vampire Academy "Did you see that "I saw the dress.” "Did you like it?” He didn't answer. I took that as a yes. "Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?” When he spoke, I could barely hear him. "You'll endanger the school.” ~Vampire Academy His voice was light and relaxed—rare for him. He was usually wound up tightly, ready for any attack. Probably he figured he was safe inside a Honda—or at least as safe as he ~Frostbite "Don't tell me what I'm feeling," he growled. ~Dimitri Belikov - Frostbite Time stopped as he reached out and cupped my face between his hands. He brought his mouth down and brushed it against my lips. It was barely a kiss at first but soon increased, becoming heady and deep. When he finally pulled away, it was to kiss my forehead. He left his lips there for several seconds as his ~Frostbite "Are you sleepwalking?" a voice asked behind me. "I was testing dorm security," I said. "It sucks." "I am security. This is my watch." ~Shadow Kiss "I love you, Roza." He kissed me again. "I'll always be here for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." ~Dimitri Belikov - Shadow Kiss "I did it because I love you," I said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it was. He laughed. "You can sum up in one sentence what it takes me a whole speech to get out." "Because it's that simple. I love you, and I don't want to keep pretending like I don't." "I don't either." ~Shadow Kiss "Zoey, I believe you‘ll keep saying no to him, but if you ever give in, you can count on me to be there. I‘ll stand between you and Kalona, even if it‘s the last thing I do." ~Stark - Tempted, HoN "Zoey." Stark touched my cheek. "―I‘m not drinking from you, because I can’t. Not because I don‘t want to. ―I should have told you that the only thing I want more than a taste of your blood is to know that you‘re safe and strong." He kissed me. "―Plus, I don‘t need to drink from you, because I know that I‘m going to be okay." He brushed his lips against mine. " ―Want to know how I know that?" "Uh-huh," I murmured. "I know because your safety is my strength, Zoey." ~Stark - Tempted, HoN "We were just talking about stamping. Do you stamp, Tabitha?" "Um, like use stamps?" I asked with a frown. "I mean, I mail things…" ~Clary - City of Bones "A Ravener has already attacked Clary's mother-she could well have been next." Attacked. Clary wondered if this was a euphemism for "murdered." ~City of Bones "Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered. "Selling them on what?" "A mythical place of great magical power." "Most myths are true, at least in part." "I'm starting to get that." ~City of Bones "It's not over, Roza. Do you really think there's anywhere you can go in this world where I can't find you?" ~Dimitri Belikov - Spirit Bound "I know. You did what you did out of love. I can't be mad at you over that. It was stupid, but that's how love is. Do you have any idea what I'd do for you? To keep you safe?" "Adrian . . ." I couldn't meet his eyes. I suddenly felt unworthy. He was so easy to underestimate. The only thing I could do was lean my head against his chest and let him wrap his arms around me. "I'm sorry." "Be sorry you lied," he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Don't be sorry you loved him. That's part of you, part you have to let go, yeah, but still something that's made you who you are." Part you have to let go . . . ~Spirit Bound "People can exist around each other without . . . without there being any more than that," he said firmly. It was such a Dimitri thing to say. Logic fighting emotion. And that's when I lost it. Like I said, he was always better at keeping control. Me? Not so much. ~Spirit Bound No one would have guessed this: that living as a Strigoi had hardened his heart, killing any chance of him loving anyone. Killing any chance of him loving me. And I was pretty sure that if that was the case, then part of me would die too. ~Spirit Bound "Two years is a lot." I thought for a moment about when I'd been sixteen. What had happened in those two years? I'd run off with Lissa, watched friends die, traveled around the world, fallen in love. . . . "You can live a lifetime in two years. And if you want us to keep being on the front lines--which most of us willingly do when we graduate--then you owe us those two years." ~The BEST Quote in Spirit Bound (for me, anyway) "I," I said coldly, "had an excellent instructor. One that you currently have locked up. If you want to talk about skills going to waste, then go look in your own jail." ~Second BEST Quote "Don't you think that if God can supposedly forgive you, it's kind of egotistical for you not to forgive yourself?" "How long have you been waiting to use that line on me?" he asked. "Actually, it just came to me. Pretty good, huh? I bet you thought I wasn't paying attention." "You weren't. You never do. You were watching me." ~Spirit Bound "That priest just said God would. He said God forgives everything. Are you calling the priest a liar? That's pretty sacrilegious." Dimitri groaned. I never thought I'd take joy in tormenting him, but the frustrated look on his face wasn't because of his personal grief. It was because of me being impertinent. I'd seen this expression a hundred times on him, and the familiarity of it warmed me, as crazy as that sounds. "Rose, you're the one being sacrilegious. You're twisting these people's faith for your own purposes. You've never believed in any of this. You still don't." "I believe that the dead can come back to life," I said seriously. "The proof is sitting right next to me. If that's true, then I think you forgiving yourself isn't that much more of a leap." ~Spirit Bound "I've given up on you," he said back, voice also soft. "Love fades. Mine has." ~Spirit Bound "Don't touch her," he growled. ~Spirit Bound "The murder of Her Royal Majesty, Queen Tatiana." ~Spirit Bound All in all, I think that Queen Tatiana wasn't as evil and calculating as Rose had known. You'd know it at the end of the book. Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree all girls copy and paste At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap. When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house. When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came I'm the girl who thinks that the best vampire book series is Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead followed by The Vampire Diaries by L.J Smith. I also personally think that Stephenie Meyer has nothing against the two authors above no offense :D The couples I would write most about is: Shane/Claire Jace/Clary Rose/Dimitri I AM TEAM GALE! WOOT! Quotes: Yesterday was history, When life gives you lemons, bust out the TEQUILA AND SALT!! I don't suffer from insanity, I may look safe, but once I get you alone...I'll eat you. I have an ouchy Fine take your Banana ~ Jonas Brothers I have A.D.H.D and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have! Touch me and I'll bite you ONE FOR THE GIRLS! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: ask why you cry. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back FRIENDS: Ask before they take your food. FRIENDS: Help you when you trip. (1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive. " the woman replies, "I'll miss you..." (2) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for (3) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? Fun Facts about the art of KISSING!! You burn up to 26 calories per-minute when kissing Kissing is a health benefit, by creating saliva it helps fight tooth decay Philematology is the science word for kissing A butterfly kiss is when he/she flutters their eyelashes across their partners face/neck/chest Kissing generates an electric current (false) 34 muscles are at work when kissing, there is one called the 'kissing muscle' (orfiscularis osis muscle) which is used to pucker up the lips. According to studies, people don't stay with their partners if they're bad kissers According to anthropologists (person who studies human evolution etc), they believe that the sense of smell is the precursor (indication or approach) of kissing An eskimo kiss is when two people rub the tips of their noses together Russia is where they first initiated sealing wedding vows with a kiss To Romans, osculum (friendly kiss), basium (meaningful kiss on lips) and suavium (deep, romantic kiss) are three types of kissing And I thought french kissing was all you had to learn lol but this was a random quiz I took and I got five outta ten lmao then all these facts showed up!! Now we know the real art of kissing!! Rose: Do I ever cross your mind? Rose: Do you like me? Rose: Do you want me? Rose: Would you cry if I left? Rose: Would you live for me? Rose: Would you do anything for me? Rose: Choose--me or your life Rose runs away in shock and pain and Dimitri runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. if you love sarcasm, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are against child abuse, Copy and paste this on your profile A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumb ass?" A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME! LET’S DO IT AGAIN!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn I'm not insensitive, I just don't care. "I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned." I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter. "Elmo knows where you live". If you shivered after you read this, copy and paste this into your profile. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Beast Boy: See, it all started back in 1492 with this tea party, in Boston. King George, or maybe it was King Norm -anyway... The British were trying to make the colonists drink all this tea. But they were like, "Dude! No way! We're sick of your nasty old tea and your crummy English muffins!" So they decided, REVOLUTION! "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. 65 percent of teenagers would rather watch T.V. than read. If you are one of the 35 percent that would rather have their nose stuck in a book, copy this in your profile.( this is me) Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" My list of fictional boyfriends (I wish): Jace- I would literally kill someone to be with him. He is my perfect guy... totally hot, a major badass, sarcastic, super awesomely amazing, oh did I mention hot and don't forget the badassness!! Plus he has a protective and sweet side. And I love his sense of humor! He is bitter and rude but under it all, he is sweet and afraid. Seroiusly, he is my dream man and my favorite character out of any book I have ever read!! :) Fang- tall, dark, mysterious, hot, and the whole wing thing is pretty cool. Iggy- Sure he is blind but he is funny and the whole super awesome hearing and feeling color thing is pretty impressive. Plus, he can cook... that's always pretty impressive in a guy. Patch: Yummmm :) he is all dark and mysterious and dangerous, and a major bad boy! I love it :) Plus, he's a fallen angel! I mean come on, how cool is that? Randomness: I love converse with all my heart!! They are amazing!! Homophobics bother me... I mean c'mon people there is no problem... I really don't see why it matters (and no I'm not gay). Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done:) 1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 15 Things to do when you're in Walmart! (the best are bold) (at work) (random places) XxDEDICATED TO MY FATHER WHO TAUGHT ME TO BE WHO I AM TODAY...SO BLAME HIM (GRIN)xX 1. My father taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My father taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My father taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My father taught me MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My father taught me IRONY: "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 7. My father taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 8. My father taught me about WEATHER: "Your room looks like a tornado went through it." 9. My father taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 10. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 11. My father taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your sister!" 12. My father taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 13. My father taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home." 14. My father taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 15. My father taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me." 16. My father taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 17. My father taught me GENETICS: "You're just like your mother." 18. My father taught me about my ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 19. My father taught me WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 20. My father taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" out just like you!" QUOTES: the space between your fingers were created so that another person could full them - unknown meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was completely choice, but fallling in love with you was beyond my control - unknown if i could be any part of you id be you tears. to be concived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips - unknown you know your in love when you dont want to go to sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams - Dr. Suess today i caught myself smiling for no reason... then i realized i was thinking about you - unknown sometimes people put up walls, not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down - unknown nobody is worth your tears and the one who is wont make you cry - unknown its amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces - unknown if you cant get someone off your mind, they're probably supposed to be there - unknown last night i looked up and matched each star with a reason why i love you. i was doing pretty good until i ran out of stars - unknown love is giving someone the power to destroy you then trusting them not to - unknown there is nothing worse then meaning nothing to the person who means everything to you - unknown sometimes the person you fall for, isnt ready to catch you - unknown flying is learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss - unknown (i am an expert at this) :P the only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory - unknown everything is funny as long as its happening to some one else - unknown the two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. but not in that order. - unknown (\_/) This is From Fang's Blog. (This is SO freaking funny I promise you will lyao.) Yo, I have no choice but to respond to this. Why? Because it's funny. Never underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains. From Jess: FANG. I've commented your blog with my questions for THREE YEARS. You answer other people's STUPID questions, but not MINE. YOU REALLY ASKED FOR IT, BUDDY. I'm just gonna comment with this until you answer at least one of my questions. DO YOU HAVE A JAMAICAN ACCENT? No, mon. DO YOU MOULT? Gross WHAT'S YOUR STAR SIGN? I was raised in a cage. But I'm going to pick one. Um, no I'm not. "Angel what's my star sign?" She says, "Scorpio." HAVE YOU TOLD JEB I LOVE HIM YET? No. DOES NOT HAVING A POWER MAKE YOU ~ANGRY? Well that's not really true... DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY? Can you see me doing The Soulja Boy? DO YOU USE HAIR PRODUCTS? No. Again, no. DO YOU USE PRODUCTS ON YOUR ~FEATHERS? I don't know that they make bird kid feather products yet. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? There are a bunch. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG? I don't have favorites. They're too polarizing. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? Max, when she showers. DO THESE QUESTIONS MAKE YOU ANGRY? Not really. IF I CAME UP TO YOU IN A STREET AND HUGGED YOU, WOULD YOU KILL ME? You might get kicked. But I'm used to people wanting me dead, so. DO YOU SECRETLY WANT TO BE HUGGED? Doesn't everybody want to be secretly hugged? ARE YOU GOING EMO CAUSE ANGEL IS STEALING EVERYONE'S POWERS INCLUDING YOURS? Not the Emo thing again. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Anything hot and delicious and brought to me by Iggy. WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? Three eggs, over easy. Bacon. More bacon. Toast. DID YOU EVEN HAVE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? See above. DID YOU DIE INSIDE WHEN MAX CHOSE ARI OVER YOU? Dudes don't die inside. DO YOU LIKE MAX? I like a lot of people. DO YOU LIKE ME? I think you're funny. DOES IGGY LIKE ME? Sure. DO YOU WRITE DEPRESSING POETRY? No. IS IT ABOUT MAX? Ahh. No. Why do you assume I write depressing poetry? IS IT ABOUT JEB? Ahh. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? A Dirty Projectors t-shirt. Jeans. DO YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS? NO FREAKING COMMENT. DO YOU FIND THIS COMMENT PERSONAL? Could I not find that comment personal? DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES? Yes, cheap ones. That would make it hard to see. DO YOU SMOKE APPLES, LIKE US? Huh? DO YOU PREFER BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Whatever. DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES? Mmm, Vampires. ARE YOU GAY AND JUST PRETENDING TO BE STRAIGHT BY KISSING LISSA? Uhh... WERE YOU EXPERIMENTING WITH YOUR SEXUALITY? Uhh... WOULD YOU TELL US IF YOU WERE GAY? Yes. DO YOU SECRETLY LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU EMO? No. ARE YOU EMO? Whatever. DO YOU LIKE EGGS? Yes. I had them for breakfast. DO YOU LIKE EATING THINGS? DO YOU SECRETLY THINK YOU'RE THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD? Do you secretly think I'm the sexiest person in the whole world? DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT MAX? Eeek! HAS ANGEL EVER READ YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE HAVING DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT MAX AND GONE 'OMG' AND YOU WERE LIKE 'D:'? hahahahahahahahahahah DO YOU LIKE SPONGEBOB? He's okay I guess. DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT SPONGEBOB? Definitely. CAN YOU COOK? Iggy cooks. DO YOU LIKE TO COOK? I like to eat. ARE YOU LIKE, A ~HOUSEWIFE? How on earth could I be like a housewife? DO YOU SECRETLY HAVE INNER TURMOIL? My inner turmoil is like an inner Taurus which is like an inner Klein bottle which is like... WHY DON'T YOU POST PHOTOS ANYMORE? We just did. WHY DON'T YOU POST YOUR DRAWINGS ANYMORE? THEY WERE REALLY GOOD OKAY. DO YOU WANT TO BE UNDA DA SEA? I'm unda the stars. Sure. WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY POKER? TV DO YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE? Totally. OF COURSE YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE. DOES IGGY HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE? Yes. CAN HE EVEN PLAY POKER? Iggy beats me, sometimes. DO YOU LIKE POKING PEOPLE, HARD? Not really. ARE YOU FANGALICIOUS? I could never be as fangalicious as you'd want me to be. Fly on, Fang Sorry, but this is hilarious. Got it off another profile. Sorry if it was yours. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow. If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable. Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will. Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? does this not remind you of Max?? A short... thing... that I like. Random Quotes I will not think about guys. I will not think about guys. I will not think abo- whoa! A hot guy! When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it. Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas... It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed." Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Smile. It confuses people. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." "You say tomato...I say fuck you." Stupid Questions that need to be answered. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Spirit Bound (Vampire Academy #5) by: Rachelle Mead. Due to come out May 18, 2010! Summary: Dimitri gave Rose the ultimate choice. But she chose wrong… After a long and heartbreaking journey to Dimitri’s birthplace in Siberia, Rose Hathaway has finally returned to St. Vladimir’s—and to her best friend, Lissa. It is nearly graduation, and the girls can’t wait for their real lives beyond the Academy’s iron gates to begin. But Rose’s heart still aches for Dimitri, and he's out there, somewhere. She failed to kill him when she had the chance. And now her worst fears are about to come true. Dimitri has tasted her blood, and she knows in her heart that he is hunting her. And if Rose won't join him, he won't rest until he's silenced her...forever. OMGOMGOMG! AHHHH! Spirit Bound was sooooo... I don't know! I loved it but hated it at the same time! PM me if you want to talk! Crecendo (Hush, Hush #2) by: Becca Fitzpatrick. Due to come out Novemember 19, 2010! Summary: Nora should have know her life was far from perfect. Despite starting a relationship with her guardian angel, Patch (who, title aside, can be described anything but angelic), and surviving an attempt on her life, things are not looking up. Patch is starting to pull away and Nora can't figure out if it's for her best interest or if his interest has shifted to her arch-enemy Marcie Millar. Not to mention that Nora is haunted by images of her father and she becomes obsessed with finding out what really happened to him that night he left for Portland and never came home. The farther Nora delves into the mystery of her father's death, the more she comes to question if her Nephilim blood line has something to do with it as well as why she seems to be in danger more than the average girl. Since Patch isn't answering her questions and seems to be standing in her way, she has to start finding the answers on her own. Relying too heavily on the fact that she has a guardian angel puts Nora at risk again and again. But can she really count on Patch or is he hiding secrets darker than she can even imagine. Last Sacrifice (Vampire Academy #6) by Richelle Mead. Due to come out Decmber 7, 2010! Summary: Murder. Love. Jealousy. And the ultimate sacrifice. Now, with Rose on trial for her life and Lissa first in line for the Royal Throne, nothing will ever be the same between them. Awakened (House of Night #8) by: P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast.Due to come out January 4, 2011! No summary availavble. Angel (Maximum Ride #7) by: James Patterson. Due to come out February 14, 2011! Summary: In the seventh book in the bestselling series, evil scientists are still trying to convince Max that she needs to save the world, this time by providing the genetic link in speeding up the pace of evolution. Worse, they're trying to convince her that her perfect mate is Dylan, the newest addition to the flock. The problem is that, despite herself, Max is starting to believe it. Fang travels the country collecting his own gang of evolved humans, but the two separate flocks must unite to defeat a frightening doomsday cult whose motto is Save the Planet: Kill the Humans. And this time, the true heroine, for once, might just be little Angel. City of Fallen Angels (Mortal Instruments #4) by: Cassandra Clare. Due to come out March 31, 2011! Summary: City of Fallen Angels takes place after the events of City of Glass. It splits its focus between Jace and Clary and Clary’s best friend, Simon, and how he adjusts to life as a vampire, but it’s still an ensemble-cast story, and all the characters from the Mortal Instruments series appear in it: Jace, Isabelle, Alec, Magnus, Luke, Jocelyn, Maia, and many more. (It even helps to have read The Clockwork Angel before you read CoFA, because some of the characters from the ID series do show up in it. However, it isn’t required.) In City of Fallen Angels, someone’s killing the Shadowhunters who used to be in Valentine’s Circle and leaving their bodies around New York City in a manner designed to provoke hostility between Downworlders and Shadowhunters. Internecine warfare among vampires is ripping the Downworld community apart, and only Simon — the Daylighter who everyone wants on their side — can decide the outcome; too bad he wants nothing to do with Downworld politics. Meanwhile Jace and Clary investigate a mystery that has deeply personal consequences for them — consequences that may strengthen their relationship, or rip it apart forever. Love, blood, betrayal and revenge: the stakes are higher than ever in City of Fallen Angels. AHHHHHH! Ok, so I have an excerpt! I got it from goodreads, so I don't know where it came from, exactly, but here it is!: "There is something you have not told us, Clarissa Morgenstern," said the Silent Brother. "A secret you both have been keeping." Clary tensed. “What do you mean?” "The mark of death is on this boy." “Death?” said Jace. His voice was modulated, careful, not afraid. “Do you mean I’m going to die?” "We mean that you *were* dead. And yet you live. The balance of life and death is a delicate one, young Shadowhunters. You have upset it." That is, apparently, the Silent Brothers talking to Jace and Clary about what happned at the end of City of Glass! God saw you getting tired If you have lost someone close to you and this reminds you of them put this on your profile. I wanted to put this here, seperately, as, well, I guess you can call it a tribute. Something to last, to keep me from ever forgetting. A memory that will, hopefully, last after I'm gone, taken with anyone who is reading this, even though you don't know what happened. It may make me tear up by just looking at it, but, I believe it is perfect. Pairings: JacexClary (If you do not like this pairing I dub you offically insane! More insane than me! And that's scary.) MI StarkxZoey HoN AdrianxRose VA GalexKatniss HG FangxMax MR (Alright, so I JUST started this series and I instanlt loved Max and Fang together! ^_^) ShaneXClaire MV MichacleXEve MV ¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨ (\ /) Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. "I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world." If this sentance describes you, copy and paste on your profile. If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you try to make up the twilight characters signatures. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day. Crazy is when you go to Guitar Center and noodle on a bass, not a guitar, a bass, for half a freaking hour! Crazy is when you run a mile (so the school board calls it), and after that, you feel the urge to go rock climbing AND swimming at the same dang time! Crazy is when you obsess over that incredibly cute boy that you started liking the first moment you saw him, and can't even gather up the guts to tell him that you're gay/bi/or a straight girl who has feelings for him! Crazy is when you chase your friend around becasue they stole your shoe even though you don't want it back. Crazy is when you get so bored in class that you pretend to be a fish and continue even though everyone is starring at you. Crazy is when you marry the stage at you're school becasue you love acting so much and then you proceed to kiss it, even though you could probably die. Crazy is when you try to see how long it takes for nailpolish to wear off your toes, but then forget when you started. Crazy is when your in such a bad mood that you go outside in the rain, scream, cry, and then laugh when you remeber something that happened almost a month ago. Crazy is when you put a song on your IPod on repeat for three months and then you can't remember a single word of it afterwards. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! If you love Paramore copy and paste this on your profile. If you lock yourself up in your room writing stories for fanfiction for hours copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever done a really random Google search...copy and paste this into your profile If you have no idea why someone started these copy and paste quotes...copy and paste this into your profile. If you kill characters just because you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile. If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.(Only about half of my school...^_^) I'M A SMIDIOT (smart-idiot) AND PROUD OF IT! If you are a smidiot paste this on your profile If you've ever started something but didn't finish it, put this in your profile and maybe save time to go finish it. If you've been in any kind of contest, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization. 98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile. 98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. If you once choked on food, spit it out, and then it landed in your friends food and/or on their face copy and paste this on your profile. If you knew that 90 percent of all statistics can be made to say anything 50 percent of the time, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you laughed out loud while reading Maximum Ride, copy this onto your profile. If you love the whole blind-pyro-chef thing about Iggy, copy this onto your profile. If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy this onto your profile. If you screamed like a little kid when you found out a Maximum Ride movie was coming out, copy this onto your profile. If you're obsessed with Max Ride to the point where it's not even funny anymore, copy this onto your profile. If you want your army of killer bunnies to rule the world, copy this and paste this on your profile. If you can spout a random character quote on command, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't believe life is fair...copy and paste this into your profile If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile. (I kick their butts in gym class to show 'em how tough I am! It's kinda funny! ^_^) Ten Things I Learned From Sonny With A Chance. This next part has some of my favorite, well I guess they're copy and pastes, but I like to keep them seperate cause they're special! Like me! In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." On a box of Bowl Fresh: "Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet." On a package of Earplugs: "These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." On a mattress: "Warning: Do not attempt to swallow." On a can of Pepper Spray: "Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes." What to Do During an Exam 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly. 14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.) 15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. 17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. 18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that) 21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. 24. Act spazzy 25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?" 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. 30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. 32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." 34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply. 35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam. 37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby. 39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. 40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. 41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it. 42. Dress like the professor. 43. Cross-Dress. 44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. 45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras. Crazy Hyperactive Authoress To-Do List: Created by Wolf (She-Who-Has-A-Very-Long-Name) 1.) Write Saw: The Musical. 2.) Develop the ability to talk to vegetables. 3.) Learn how to "billow" like Severus Snape. 4.) Make action figure of yourself. 5.) Prove to the word that gay sparkly vampires are even more pathetic than they believe. 6.) Enrage obsessed fan girls. 7.) Scream out random endings when walking out of the movie theater. (I can't believe it! Optimus killed Sam and ran off with Megatron!) 8.) Teach monkeys how to skydive. 9.) Create first ever cheese laser. 10.) Have own theme music. 11.) Find the penny at the bottom of the razor blade and and salt-filled jar. 12.) Discover why Dora the Explorer's parents let her explore the world all by herself. 13.) Sing made-up lyrics to Christmas Carols. During the summer. 14.) Read Shakespeare. You know, like in Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet fights that lion, and Romeo destroys the giant space station, and they all go to Burger King...yeah, I don't really know my Shakespeare stuff that well. 15.) Also prove to the children how Santa sits on the throne of lies. 16.) If this isn't enough, scream "I GOT CAKE MIX!" all the time. (Nemesis.) 17.) Warn younger children that if they aren't good this Christmas, Santa's little Dementors will come and suck all of their happiness away. Run from livid parents. 18.) Use security cameras as mirrors to pick your nose. 19.) Run around with a Force FX lightsaber, claiming you are a Jedi that must slay the evils of the world. Then attack anyone wearing Hannah Montana apparel. 20.) Develop sense of irony. 21.) Don't die yet. 22.) Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're an insane authoress/author, too! (Give Wolf credit, though. Or face the wrath of the rainbow dinosaurs!) I am giving Wolf credit. But wait why can't I give her debit again? Vitamin: dinosaur shaped! (From ICarly, where her grandpa tried to make her move away from Spencer...) ONLY IN AMERICA... This has got to be one of the most clever DORMITORY: PRESBYTERIAN: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ANIMOSITY: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: 40 Things to do in Class when you're Bored: 1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em. I love funny quotes. Here are some I like. (I am giving some credit to Scar of hope, for I got some of these from their profile. Please go visit it. It is very sad. I also go some of these from Joker236, who is awesome!) I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human’s way of saying you can't fire me, I quit. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door. “When there's a will, I want to be in it.” Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder. My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Slinky + Escalator = Endless Fun! I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs dont make a right, try three. Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back! There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about having cookies? Do not doubt my sanity... I have none. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." Freida Norris "Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much" "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made the horn louder." "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." –Bill Watterson They laugh because we're losers. We laugh because they just figured it out. Be a rebel! Open the wrong side of the popcorn bag! Don't go into the light! You might run into the bulb! I smile cause I have no idea whats going on! People who say anything is possible have not tried to slam a revolving door. One day, we will look back on this day, laugh nerviously, and change the subject. A good friend will comfort you when you break up with him, a BEST friend will call him whispering: Seven days... If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. My imaginary friend thinks you have issues. I’m not insane, and my hand puppets agree with me. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Tell the truth and run. Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense... Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to... If God intended for man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Anyone who have said 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' have never tried. Shin- a device used to find furniture in the dark. Okay...there's this thing called cra-zy-ness, and...me and my gurls...we've gone PRO, BABY! People will believe anything if you whisper it… Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. "A positive attitude might not solve your problems, but it'll annoy people so much, it kinda makes it worth it. . ."- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance? I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark. It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it. You say I've lost my sanity. I haven't lost it. I sold it on ebay. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. My Reality Check bounced. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want? Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids. An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!' You can't have everything...where would you put it? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. I'm the kind of girl who walks into a chair and apologizes. The person who smiles when something goes wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. The are no stupid questions, only stupid people. I was normal before I met the freaks I call my friends. "No, I'm just a very naughty boy. I kick kittens. I make rude gestures at nuns."- Jace Wayland, Mortal Instruments City of Ashes. What do you call a dog with no legs? It don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come! Best friends don't let you do stupid things... alone. My computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you're abusing your privilage. Be a freak. Being cool is overrated. I'm not prejudice. I hate everyone equally. I'm not crazy, my reality is just different from yours. Don't follow in my footsteps-I walk into walls. Best friends know how stupid you are and still choose to go out in public with you. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Anyone can fall downstairs, but it takes talent to trip up them! Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Last night I was laying in bed looking up at the stars and thinking to myself, "Where the heck is my ceiling?" History is the version of events people agree on. I envy the people who drink. At least they have something to blame everthing on. In God we trust; all others pay cash. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Best friends- we dance like we're retarded, laugh like we're freaks, sing like we're on drugs-but hey we're having fun! If you die in an elevator, make sure you press the UP button. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you've got it made. Everything is funny as long as it's happening to someone else, Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together. Wear short sleeves! Support the right to bare arms! I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice-cream; which is kinda the same thing. The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Doing nothing is very hard...you never know when you're finished. Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. Why is it called 'after dark' when it's really 'after light'? I can resist everything except temptation. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. A good politican is quite as unthinkable as an honest burgaler. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Get your facts straight first, then distort them as you please. Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. I would never die for my beliefs- I might be wrong. I busted a mirror and got 7 years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me 5. If at first you don't succed, failure may be you style. Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Let's reintrouduce corpial punishment in school- and use it on the teachers. A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. I wonder if other dogs think that poodles are members of a weird cult. Humans are the only creatures on Earth that let their children come back home. Never floss with a stranger! A word to the wise isn't necessary- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then. There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEAT PIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Soon, tall people will rule the world!! MWAHAHAHAHA! Wait, did I just say that out loud...? I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, tell me to wait here. Any minute now, I will jump in with my pointless observations. More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious mental problems. I'm bored. Run for your sanity. We are not retreating . . . we are advancing in another direction. They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles. I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my enemy to go swimming. I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening IDIOCY. I'm not lost, I'm exploring. Hi, my job is to annoy you. Don't ever frown, you never know who's falling in love with your smile. You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun sitting on your shoulder. We must never, ever be mean to stupid people. If we are, they might go away. Then who would we laugh at? Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver. National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support. I had a friend once, but the rope broke and he got away. I'm sure someone cares that you're alive. It's just not me! If you don't know what to write in a story, kill someone off! You say I've lost my sanity. Well I've got news for you. You can't lose what you never had. I ate a waffle today . . . in accordance to the prophecy. I let my mind wander, but it never came back. I don't have a psychiatrist and I don't want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you. Sometimes I wonder "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" then, it hits me. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. I was gifted, but the pyschiatrist took away my powers. I don't suffer from insanity . . . I enjoy every minute of it. I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter. Please refrain from excessively licking the ceiling. The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader. This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob. You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us. Don't mess with me, I've got a stick. I did what they say and chose the road less traveled . . . now where the heck am I? Education is important, school, however, is another matter. I dream of a better tomorrow- where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty! Everything here is eatable. I'm eatible, but that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Make a man a fire and you can keep him warm for a day, but set a man on fire and you can keep him warm for life. The lottery is a tax on people who are really bad at math. A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that! I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to. Boys are like trees: they take fifty years to grow up. I don't obsess; I think intensely. Muffins are just ugly cupcakes . . . and we love them anyways. A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking. At my lemonade stand, I use to give the first glass free and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it. My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love then anyways. The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy something else to shoot at. I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you. Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already. Earth is the insane asylum of the universe. There's no place like home . . . but Wal-mart's close. Whoever said words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary. Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, but socially dead. Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friends's forehead. To err is human. To really screw things up, you need a computer. "Cute as a button" Since when are buttons cute? A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark sunglasses so as not to be recognized. An expert is a person who tells you a simple thing in a confusing way in such a fashion that you think the confusion is your fault. A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny. It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning for others. Isn't it funny how people who want quiet are always the loudest telling people to shut up? Why do psychics have to ask for your name? For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are, you're one of them. Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots. You'll always miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take, and statistically speaking, 99 percent of the shots you do. Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now. If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop bugging us. Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you. In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world. Rule #13: If you ever see an angry chainsaw zombie coming at you, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Therefore, what is the point in learning? What's this thing you call "Normal"? Is it contagious? OMG!! Don't touch me! I might catch your normal! You can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their own way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call a "floor"- a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, friends, for I may not return alive. People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual. FEAR ME! The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. How in the world do all the mad scientists finish their experiments in the middle of a thunderstorm? It's you an me versus the world . . . we attack at dawn. Yo-yos were invented as a weapon. If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, on to a little see-saw, or jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that! The other day, I was walking out of a completely empty room, said, "See ya!" and waved. How stupid is that? My friends say that I amazingly manage to sneak up on them. I'm proud of that, because it means I'm that much closer to being a ninja! The voices assure me that I'm normal. It's such a beautiful day. I think I'll skip my medications. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me. Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die. Who is this "life" person and where does he get all these lemons? I'm smiling. That alone should scare you. I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. My glass isn't half empty. It isn't half full. It's just a glass with water in it. When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor. There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. They have sent us to this dungeon more commonly known as school. Burning someone at the stake is considered rude in some parts of America. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. The rules only apply if you get caught. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?(My theory? Zombies, dude. Zombies.) Why don't you ever see the headline "Pyschic Wins Lottery"? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? I'm the kind of friend who would help you move a human body, anyplace, anytime. I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's. A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side. I used all my sick days so I called in dead. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets to cheese. Don't worry about the end of the world coming today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. Kids are the future. Be afraid, very afraid! Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible? Warning: Lost kids will be sold to the circus. I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework. Some of my current goals in life are to attend Hogwarts, go to Narnia, be claimed by a Greek god, obtain a sycophant, date Gavin Rose, be chosen by a dragon, learn how to read characters in and out of books, and become an author. That last one might be impossible. Some of my time goes into eating, working, and sleeping. The rest of my time is spent looking for the thing I had just a minute ago. Now where is my iPod? I love my computer. My friends live in it. I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us . . . I'm tripping you. I think I'm looking at you and your clones. I see dumb people. So many stupid people, so little duct tape. I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly? I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you. I may be a cute penguin, but as soon as I get you alone, I will eat you. I don't understand white crayons! Why are they here? What do they want from us? "Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives. Get real. No one's going to form a single-file line if the building's on FIRE! Edward Cullen: As a vampire, you’re mediocre at best. As a boyfriend? DANG. Let’s take a moment to examine your flaws as a significant other: You can hardly resist violently murdering your gal; you practically never shower; you leave Bella by her melancholy lonesome in order to gallivant around Italy buying loads of custom loafers and eating small, adorable animals; and, on top of it all, you are a Class A Stalker/Borderline Sociopath and you should probably be in prison. I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to hell in multiple religions. Except some of those ancient tribal religions. Apparently, those gods LIKED human sacrifices! In real life, men who sparkle are gay. The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false. Honestly, I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep the halo up. You can't spell "diet" without "die"! A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Right now, I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just implying it. EMO- Extravagantly Made Origami Pluto 1930-2007 R.I.P. Revolve In Peace I'm an English major; you do the math. What is, is there for a reason. What has been has affected something now. Life is a circle; everything equals pi. If you have five fish and three drown, how many are left? Today, I thought about the phrase "revenge is sweet" and then thought about the phrase, "revenge is a dish best served cold." I have now come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME! If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS! Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many. Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with! That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." When in doubt, push random buttons! You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft! There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee. If genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people. It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely. Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them. Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys. When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later. When all else fails, use duct tape. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. The Energizer Bunny was arrested, charged with battery. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. I could've eaten the alphabet and crapped out a better essay!! What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. The road to success is always under construction. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? He ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong? The only way to make my PC faster is throwing it out the window. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . tomorrow. To put it nicely, I hope you choke. The evil gnomes poked me in the butt wit a stick. For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures... Welcome to the world of very scary fearies! Don't take it personally... but you smell like an ice cube. Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random! I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet. Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father. The pen is mightier than the sword, so what does that make Riptide? I was just stuffed in to a bag by a fat creepy guy in a red suit. Alright! Fess up! Who put me on their Christmas list? Alright, I decided to put some book quotes here, 'cause most of my favorites make me laugh histerically! Most of them are in random order, so don't think that I've created a special pattern known onlt to me! Enjoy! (Still in progress. I have a lot of favorite quotes!) Clary: Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds? Madame Dorthea: If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now. -City of Bones Jace: I don't want to be a man, I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead. Jace: I am a man, and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone woman, and bring me something brown. -City of Glass Luke: Jesus! I love funny quotes. Here are some I like. (I am giving some credit to Scar of hope, for I got some of these from their profile. Please go visit it. It is very sad. I also go some of these from Joker236, who is awesome!) I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human’s way of saying you can't fire me, I quit. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door. “When there's a will, I want to be in it.” Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder. My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Slinky + Escalator = Endless Fun! I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs dont make a right, try three. Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back! There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about having cookies? Do not doubt my sanity... I have none. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." Freida Norris "Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much" "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made the horn louder." "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." –Bill Watterson They laugh because we're losers. We laugh because they just figured it out. Be a rebel! Open the wrong side of the popcorn bag! Don't go into the light! You might run into the bulb! I smile cause I have no idea whats going on! People who say anything is possible have not tried to slam a revolving door. One day, we will look back on this day, laugh nerviously, and change the subject. A good friend will comfort you when you break up with him, a BEST friend will call him whispering: Seven days... If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. My imaginary friend thinks you have issues. I’m not insane, and my hand puppets agree with me. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Tell the truth and run. Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense... Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to... If God intended for man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Anyone who have said 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' have never tried. Shin- a device used to find furniture in the dark. Okay...there's this thing called cra-zy-ness, and...me and my gurls...we've gone PRO, BABY! People will believe anything if you whisper it… Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. "A positive attitude might not solve your problems, but it'll annoy people so much, it kinda makes it worth it. . ."- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance? I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark. It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it. You say I've lost my sanity. I haven't lost it. I sold it on ebay. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. My Reality Check bounced. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want? Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids. An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!' You can't have everything...where would you put it? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. I'm the kind of girl who walks into a chair and apologizes. The person who smiles when something goes wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. The are no stupid questions, only stupid people. I was normal before I met the freaks I call my friends. "No, I'm just a very naughty boy. I kick kittens. I make rude gestures at nuns."- Jace Wayland, Mortal Instruments City of Ashes. What do you call a dog with no legs? It don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come! Best friends don't let you do stupid things... alone. My computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you're abusing your privilage. Be a freak. Being cool is overrated. I'm not prejudice. I hate everyone equally. I'm not crazy, my reality is just different from yours. Don't follow in my footsteps-I walk into walls. Best friends know how stupid you are and still choose to go out in public with you. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Anyone can fall downstairs, but it takes talent to trip up them! Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Last night I was laying in bed looking up at the stars and thinking to myself, "Where the heck is my ceiling?" History is the version of events people agree on. I envy the people who drink. At least they have something to blame everthing on. In God we trust; all others pay cash. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Best friends- we dance like we're retarded, laugh like we're freaks, sing like we're on drugs-but hey we're having fun! If you die in an elevator, make sure you press the UP button. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you've got it made. Everything is funny as long as it's happening to someone else, Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together. Wear short sleeves! Support the right to bare arms! I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice-cream; which is kinda the same thing. The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Doing nothing is very hard...you never know when you're finished. Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. Why is it called 'after dark' when it's really 'after light'? I can resist everything except temptation. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. A good politican is quite as unthinkable as an honest burgaler. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Get your facts straight first, then distort them as you please. Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. I would never die for my beliefs- I might be wrong. I busted a mirror and got 7 years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me 5. If at first you don't succed, failure may be you style. Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Let's reintrouduce corpial punishment in school- and use it on the teachers. A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. I wonder if other dogs think that poodles are members of a weird cult. Humans are the only creatures on Earth that let their children come back home. Never floss with a stranger! A word to the wise isn't necessary- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then. There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEAT PIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Soon, tall people will rule the world!! MWAHAHAHAHA! Wait, did I just say that out loud...? I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, tell me to wait here. Any minute now, I will jump in with my pointless observations. More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious mental problems. I'm bored. Run for your sanity. We are not retreating . . . we are advancing in another direction. They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles. I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my enemy to go swimming. I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening IDIOCY. I'm not lost, I'm exploring. Hi, my job is to annoy you. Don't ever frown, you never know who's falling in love with your smile. You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun sitting on your shoulder. We must never, ever be mean to stupid people. If we are, they might go away. Then who would we laugh at? Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver. National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support. I had a friend once, but the rope broke and he got away. I'm sure someone cares that you're alive. It's just not me! If you don't know what to write in a story, kill someone off! You say I've lost my sanity. Well I've got news for you. You can't lose what you never had. I ate a waffle today . . . in accordance to the prophecy. I let my mind wander, but it never came back. I don't have a psychiatrist and I don't want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you. Sometimes I wonder "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" then, it hits me. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. I was gifted, but the pyschiatrist took away my powers. I don't suffer from insanity . . . I enjoy every minute of it. I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter. Please refrain from excessively licking the ceiling. The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader. This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob. You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us. Don't mess with me, I've got a stick. I did what they say and chose the road less traveled . . . now where the heck am I? Education is important, school, however, is another matter. I dream of a better tomorrow- where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty! Everything here is eatable. I'm eatible, but that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Make a man a fire and you can keep him warm for a day, but set a man on fire and you can keep him warm for life. The lottery is a tax on people who are really bad at math. A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that! I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to. Boys are like trees: they take fifty years to grow up. I don't obsess; I think intensely. Muffins are just ugly cupcakes . . . and we love them anyways. A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking. At my lemonade stand, I use to give the first glass free and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it. My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love then anyways. The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy something else to shoot at. I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you. Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already. Earth is the insane asylum of the universe. There's no place like home . . . but Wal-mart's close. Whoever said words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary. Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, but socially dead. Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friends's forehead. To err is human. To really screw things up, you need a computer. "Cute as a button" Since when are buttons cute? A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark sunglasses so as not to be recognized. An expert is a person who tells you a simple thing in a confusing way in such a fashion that you think the confusion is your fault. A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny. It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning for others. Isn't it funny how people who want quiet are always the loudest telling people to shut up? Why do psychics have to ask for your name? For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are, you're one of them. Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots. You'll always miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take, and statistically speaking, 99 percent of the shots you do. Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now. If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop bugging us. Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you. In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world. Rule #13: If you ever see an angry chainsaw zombie coming at you, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Therefore, what is the point in learning? What's this thing you call "Normal"? Is it contagious? OMG!! Don't touch me! I might catch your normal! You can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their own way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call a "floor"- a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, friends, for I may not return alive. People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual. FEAR ME! The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. How in the world do all the mad scientists finish their experiments in the middle of a thunderstorm? It's you an me versus the world . . . we attack at dawn. Yo-yos were invented as a weapon. If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, on to a little see-saw, or jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that! The other day, I was walking out of a completely empty room, said, "See ya!" and waved. How stupid is that? My friends say that I amazingly manage to sneak up on them. I'm proud of that, because it means I'm that much closer to being a ninja! The voices assure me that I'm normal. It's such a beautiful day. I think I'll skip my medications. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me. Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die. Who is this "life" person and where does he get all these lemons? I'm smiling. That alone should scare you. I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. My glass isn't half empty. It isn't half full. It's just a glass with water in it. When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor. There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. They have sent us to this dungeon more commonly known as school. Burning someone at the stake is considered rude in some parts of America. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. The rules only apply if you get caught. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?(My theory? Zombies, dude. Zombies.) Why don't you ever see the headline "Pyschic Wins Lottery"? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? I'm the kind of friend who would help you move a human body, anyplace, anytime. I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's. A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side. I used all my sick days so I called in dead. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets to cheese. Don't worry about the end of the world coming today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. Kids are the future. Be afraid, very afraid! Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible? Warning: Lost kids will be sold to the circus. I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework. Some of my current goals in life are to attend Hogwarts, go to Narnia, be claimed by a Greek god, obtain a sycophant, date Gavin Rose, be chosen by a dragon, learn how to read characters in and out of books, and become an author. That last one might be impossible. Some of my time goes into eating, working, and sleeping. The rest of my time is spent looking for the thing I had just a minute ago. Now where is my iPod? I love my computer. My friends live in it. I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us . . . I'm tripping you. I think I'm looking at you and your clones. I see dumb people. So many stupid people, so little duct tape. I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly? I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you. I may be a cute penguin, but as soon as I get you alone, I will eat you. I don't understand white crayons! Why are they here? What do they want from us? "Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives. Get real. No one's going to form a single-file line if the building's on FIRE! Edward Cullen: As a vampire, you’re mediocre at best. As a boyfriend? DANG. Let’s take a moment to examine your flaws as a significant other: You can hardly resist violently murdering your gal; you practically never shower; you leave Bella by her melancholy lonesome in order to gallivant around Italy buying loads of custom loafers and eating small, adorable animals; and, on top of it all, you are a Class A Stalker/Borderline Sociopath and you should probably be in prison. I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to hell in multiple religions. Except some of those ancient tribal religions. Apparently, those gods LIKED human sacrifices! In real life, men who sparkle are gay. The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false. Honestly, I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep the halo up. You can't spell "diet" without "die"! A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Right now, I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just implying it. EMO- Extravagantly Made Origami Pluto 1930-2007 R.I.P. Revolve In Peace I'm an English major; you do the math. What is, is there for a reason. What has been has affected something now. Life is a circle; everything equals pi. If you have five fish and three drown, how many are left? Today, I thought about the phrase "revenge is sweet" and then thought about the phrase, "revenge is a dish best served cold." I have now come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME! If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS! Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many. Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with! That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." When in doubt, push random buttons! You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft! There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee. If genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people. It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely. Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them. Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys. When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later. When all else fails, use duct tape. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. The Energizer Bunny was arrested, charged with battery. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. I could've eaten the alphabet and crapped out a better essay!! What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. The road to success is always under construction. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? He ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong? The only way to make my PC faster is throwing it out the window. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . tomorrow. To put it nicely, I hope you choke. The evil gnomes poked me in the butt wit a stick. For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures... Welcome to the world of very scary fearies! Don't take it personally... but you smell like an ice cube. Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random! I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet. Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father. The pen is mightier than the sword, so what does that make Riptide? I was just stuffed in to a bag by a fat creepy guy in a red suit. Alright! Fess up! Who put me on their Christmas list? Alright, I decided to put some book quotes here, 'cause most of my favorites make me laugh histerically! Most of them are in random order, so don't think that I've created a special pattern known onlt to me! Enjoy! (Still in progress. I have a lot of favorite quotes!) Clary: Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds? Madame Dorthea: If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now. -City of Bones Jace: I don't want to be a man, I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead. Jace: I am a man, and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone woman, and bring me something brown. -City of Glass Luke: Jesus! You know you're a writer... -If you talk to yourself. Copy and Paste this if you're a writer. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you could read that put it in your profile. Funny things: 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. 5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. 29 reasons why girls are the best 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. \/) Max Ride Quotes! "I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang "I love Nudge, I really do. But that motor mouth of her's could have turned mother Theresa into an Axe murderer" - Max from Maximum Ride "Yes! Freaks RULE!" ~Fang "Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!" "I look like prep school Barbie. looks at Max Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend." ~Nudge "Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R." ~Gasman "You...are...a...fridge...with wings. We're...freaking...ballet...dancers." ~Fang "Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much." "Oh, jeez." ~Max and Fang "Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." ~Fnick "Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks." ~Max "I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" -Iggy "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." ~Iggy "Fang? Are you - like Max?" "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." ~Fang "Oh yeah,'cause Fang is all about the wordy sharing of feelings." ~Max "'Iggy, this is not a democracy," I said understanding his fear but not being able to do anything about it. "It's a Maxocracy.'"-From Max Ride: The Angel Experiment "Ok, so that did me in. Mr. Rock being all emotional? Expressing feelings?..., total flock hug, and I put my head on Fang's shoulder and cried."- Max, MR4 "The one thing I really can't stand is when Max and the others are in pain or upset. Not upset as in angry or teed off, 'cause God knows if that got to me I'd be totally out of luck." -Fang I let my jaw drop open, looking from him to Fang and back, and then Iggy was smiling huge in a way he never does, and Fang was grinning in a way he hardly ever does, and I felt like skipping around like a ballerina, which i promise you, I never, ever do." -Max, MR4 SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (THIS GETS BETTER!) The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better one. The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora) This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: ／l、 Copy the KITTA onto your profile to help her achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have Cookies) Bunny: No!! Cwopy Bwunny on youw pwofwile two hwelp Bwunny achwieve wowld dominatwion!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (We have chainsaws and dismembered Brigigd and Lissa apart slowly and painfully) ╔═╦══╦═╗ Put this on your Emo doesn't mean u cut. 1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue. 2. All idiots, after the first truth, will try it. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot. RANDOM, BUT AWESOME SHIZ... I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it forever. We're not retreating...we are simply advancing in another direction. Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. It's people like you that make people like me need medication. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by. Would you like a cookie? So would I. If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. Don't mess with me-I've got a stick. HAHA COMEDY GOLD =P Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it? Who are you to tell me Mirror I am seeing a new reflection You don't define me, you don't define me If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile. you ever cried when reading a story because it is so emotional! Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Hannahpie45,High.Fivin.Jesus, Horsechick995, Sonny days,XSweetXLittleXRose A world wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant. In India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant, In Europe they didn’t know what ’shortage’ meant. In China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant. In the Middle East they didn’t know what ’solution’ meant. In South America they didn’t know what ‘please’ meant, and in the USA they didn’t know what ‘the rest of the world’ meant. If you think this is sad post on your profile. :( If you're stalking a fictional character, copy this to your profile. If you're feeling random, and simply want your name put on a list, copy this to your profile and add your name to the list!: LostInHyrule, Bob D. Johnson, Phish Tacko, Hannahpie45, Sonny days If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copt this into your profile. If you have had long strings of dreams in short periods of time, copy this into your profile. If you're weird, copy this into your profile. If you like to quote things, copy this into your profile. If you have too many of these copy and paste things in your profile and don't care who dislikes it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are copying and pasting stuff onto your profile at 2:00am in the morning copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love these copy and paste things, even though they aren't that cool to begin with, copy and paste this into your profile. If you prefer music from the 70s, 80s, etc. and hate most of today's music, put this in your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills and are proud of it, copy this into your profile. If you hate MTV and are proud of it, copy this into your profile. If you don't care that people think you're weird just because you hate MTV, listen to 60s/70s/80s music, don't wear Hot Topic clothing, etc., copy this into your profile. If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile. If life gives you lemons, throw them back, and yell I WANT JACE!!!!!!! shadowhunters: Looking better in black then the windows of our enemies since 1234 ;) ( THX!! U KNO WHO U R!!! *cough carley cough* Emmett Cullen: Stronger than you since 1916 Jasper Hale: Charming ladies since 1843 Alice Cullen: Quirkier than you since 1901 Rosalie Hale: Better than you since 1916 Edward Cullen: Bringing sexy back since 1901 Carlisle Cullen more compassinate than you since...wait i know this...we may have to count the years...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11...aww screw it) Edward vs Normal guys.A normal guy would say: “I love you Baby!” Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.” Normal Guy would say:“You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!” A normal guy: would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you. If you die: a normal guy would find another. “Well, I wasn’t going to live without you..” He rolled his eyes as if that fact were childishly obvious.“..but I wasn’t sure how to do it. I knew Emmet and Jasper would never help so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi.” As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!” He smiled my favorite smile. “Hurry back to me.” As you come back to the house: a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice. “I heard the music before I was out of the car. Edward hadn’t touched his piano since the night Alice left. Now, as I shut the door, I heard the song morph through a bridge and change into my lullaby. Edward was welcoming me home.’ A normal guy: would wait for you to make him breakfast. While you are both out for dinner: a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the sexy waitress. A normal guy: while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio. While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.” A normal guy: wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares. A normal guy: does it with everyone. A normal guy: buys you flowers and chocolates. Bella: You won't sleep with me until we're married? "Take care of my heart I've left it with you." "...And so the lion fell in love with the lamb". "I love you. I want you. Right now." "Of all the things about me that could frighten "I thought I wouldn't feel like this in a long If you've read Twilight over 4 times, copy this onto your profile. If you have considered nameing your kids Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, or Esme, copy and paste this onto your profile If you are a proud stalker and obsessed fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy and paste this Just because... im quiet-doesn't mean i don't have alot to say im sarcastic-doesn't mean i don't take it seriously i forgive-doesn't mean i'll forget im stubborn-doesn't mean im not easy going i don't show my feelings-doesn't mean i don't have any im not like you-doesn't mean im weird i don't say i love you-doesn't mean i don't afraid i don't know why we all hang on to something we know were better off letting go. it's like we're scared to lose what we really don't have. some of us say we'd rather have something then nothing at all, but the truth is...to have something halfway is harder then to have nothing at all. -if you cant wait for the sixth vampire academy book to come out, put this on your profile If you think Buffy and Angel were meant to be and that everyones who got in their way should suffer horrible torment then copy and paste this on your profile. A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that shiz up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh shiz, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!" I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. Went to a Party Mom, I went to a party, I felt proud of myself, I made a healthy choice, I got into my car, Now I'm lying on the pavement, My own blood's all around me, I'm sure the guy had no idea, So why do people do it, Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Someone should have taught him, My breath is getting shorter, I wish that you could hold me Mom, Changed and Go ( A Poem For Rose) Heavenly stars shining brightly at the moonlight. Oh. Why was I hurt? I ran. But my footsteps can't drag me anywhere but at your life. When you left, every piece that I was making was gone. I blink twice but I cried thrice. I went out of the safety, to hunt you down. You have changed. A change for the bad. An immortal creature that I cannot fight. Where was the strength that I gained? Why cannot I fight you? I love you..until now. Even if you are the monster that I feared. I know now. You are my weakness. I wish life can restart. So I cannot meet you and you can be not the enemy of my life. But I know I cannot. For I love you too much. Do you? Do you still love me? I do not know what to feel. Just let me finish my mission and mourn for you. Please just let me love you and let me go. Because I cannot take the fears of you any longer. Remeber three words. I Love You.. Everything in this room is edible, I'm edible, but that my child is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one! Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this fact, copy and paste this into your profile. Join the Dark Side. We have Cookies And Angel/Angelus. If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you. For Sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them. “GOD created the world; everything else is made in china.” It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most, live the longest. My prince doesn't wear shiny armour. My prince doesn't sparkle either. My prince is death in a cowboy duster. ;) I’m Out Of My Mind Feel Free To Leave A Message. Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. "I wouldn't be so paranoid if you weren't all out to get me!!" -Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity- 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso . 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!! Quotes: ~Vampire Academy~ 'And there he was, charging down the hall like death in a cowboy duster.' ~Rose, Vampire Academy 'My heart shattered. My world shattered.' ~Rose, Shadow Kiss "Who the hell are you anyway? Outsourced help?" ~Rose, Vampire Academy '"I did it because I love you," I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it was.' ~Rose, Shadow Kiss '"No," Dimitri interupted gently. "It won't happen to you. You're strong. You're so... so strong. It's why I love you."' ~Dimitri, Shadow Kiss '"You’re about to face down Strigoi, and my mother’s the one you’re scared of?" "Rose. Roza. Open your eyes." I'd never heard his voice so strained, so frantic. "Don't go to sleep on me. Not yet." ~Dimitri, Vampire Academy "I crossed my arms over my chest. "Are you lost, little girl? The elementary school's over on west campus." "At the same time, we both pulled back briefly still oh so close. Everything in the world rested on that moment. 'I was sure he was going bring up some zen life lesson, but instead, he kissed me.' ~Rose, Shadow Kiss "Are you kidding? He's arrogant, sarcastic, likes to intimidate people, and..." Oh. Okay. Maybe she had a point." ~Rose, Blood Promise "There is no us, I already told you that." "Love fades. Mine has." ~Dimitri, Spirit Bound ~Evernight~ Vic sighed. "See, while you spend all your time making out with Balthazar, and Raquel stays holed up with her art projects, and Ranulf's off studying his Norse myths again, i do something else. Something crazy. Something strange. I call it 'talking to other people.' Through this miraculous process, I am sometimes able to learn facts about two or three other human beings in a single day. Scientists plan to study my method." ~Vic, Stargazer ~Twilight~ "Fall down again Bella?" "Stupid shiny volvo owner." ~ Bella, Twilight "Without the dark we would never see the stars." ~Bella, Twilight "I am Switzerland." ~Bella, Eclipse "This Hostage stuff is fun." ~Alice, Eclipse "I tell you I can read minds and your you think you're the freak." ~Edward - Twilight ~Wicked~ "I cant believe you're still riding around on that dirty old thing!" "I just came to get my sisters shoes! Now that little farm girls run off with them! The nerve of her; stealing a dead womans shoes!" ~Elphaba, Wicked "What is it?" ~Supernatural~ "Your, ah, half-caf, double-vanilla latte is gettin' cold over here, Francis." "Have you ever actually watched daytime tv? It's sucks!" ~Dean, Supernatural "See that attitude right there! That is why I always got the extra cookie." ~Dean, Supernatural "I lost my shoe" ~Sam, Supernatural "You fudgin' touch me again, I'll fudgin' kill ya!" ~Dean, Supernatural "You have really gotta update your cassete tape collection." God vs. Science 1921 In a College classroom with a professor teaching a philosophy lesson... 'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?' 'Yes sir,' the student says. 'So you believe in God?' 'Absolutely.. ' 'Is God good?' 'Sure! God's good.' 'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?' 'Yes' 'Are you good or evil?' 'The Bible says I'm evil.' The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible! He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?' 'Yes sir, I would.' 'I wouldn't say that.' 'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.' The student remains silent. 'Er..yes,' the student says. The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.' 'Then where does Satan come from?' The student falters. 'From God' 'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?' 'Yes, sir.' 'Yes' Again, the student has no answer. The student squirms on his feet. 'So who created them?' The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?' The student's voice betrays him and cracks. The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?' 'No sir.. I've never seen Him.' 'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?' 'No, sir, I have not.' 'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?' 'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.' 'Yet you still believe in him?' 'Yes' 'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?' 'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.' 'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.' The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. ' Yes. 'And is there such a thing as cold?' 'No sir, there isn't.' The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer. 'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?' 'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?' The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.' The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? 'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains.. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.' 'It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.' 'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?' 'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.' 'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?' The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed. 'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?' The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. 'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?' To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.' The professor sat down. The student was Albert Einstein. :) You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fanfictions about the book. You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time.(Example:" ' We heard you were having Bella for lunch and we came to see if you would share. ' ") (Not Twilight. I have the tendency to quote Harry Potter) You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. You've got a book memorized. You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (I’ve done that multiple times. The last three Harry Potter books…finished those in a day each.) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock. You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human. You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf. You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character. Your idol is a character from a book. You Know You Live in 2010 when: 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace or a cell phone. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV. 6.) You just tried to defend yourself against the computer by saying something like 'The TV doesnt have buttons anymore!' 7.) You just realised that you were defending yourself against an innanimate object 8.) Your parents can't even survive school anymore. (it is a fact that many 8th graders know geography more than their parents) 9.) You've gotten in trouble at school for sending in a report ful of MSN typose, nd smily faces 10.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling. 11.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends. 12.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 13.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5. 14.) You just realized that there was no number 5 and that it skips straight from 4 to 6. 15.) And now you're laughing at your stupidity. 16.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did Girls Don't Realize These Things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet alot of girls do too. READ VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR I'LL PROVOKE THE STRIGOI AND BLAME YOU! -if you cried like a baby through the last chapters of shadow kiss because you thought Dimitri was dead, post this on your profile (I TOTALLY DID THAT. WHOOOOPS :) ) If you're super freaking happy that Dimitri got saved, but feeling like slapping Dimitri and hugging Rose because Dimitri was being stupid and ending RXD relationship, put this in your profile :) -If you want Rose and Dimitri to end up together in Last Sacrifice copy -If you want Adrian to be happy and end up with someone other than Rose post this -If you think all the Vampire Academy books are amazing post this Five Resons Why Bella's an Idiot: 1. She jumped off a cliff and didn't die. 2. She didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on Nessie. 3. What regular person uses the word irrevocably? 4. She can't win an argument with Edward unless its about sex. 5. She's a freaking spaz. (Yep) Repost if you agree to at least three statements. What is a Best Friend A best friend is a person The good times and the bad times So look at all your peeps (If you got a best friend that is described by this poem, copy and paste on your profile How To Annoy Edward Cullen 1)Get him a "Buffy the Vampire" DVD 2)Get him a Dracula costume for Halloween 3)Tell him Bella convinced Alice to change her 4)Then, once he's already yelled a a totally shocked Alice, say you were kidding 5)Tell him that you are taking him to an opera in Seattle then take him to La Push. 6)Make him spend the day with Jacob 7)Tell him Jacob raped Nessie 8)Read bedtime storis to him 9)Cover yourself in body glitter and yell, "Look what Jasper did!" 10)Challenge himto a race 11)Tell him that Nessie isn't his 12)Then say that she's Jacobs 13)Tell him that, because Bella got depressed when he left, you switch to Team Jacob 14)Look at him like you're suspitious or something and picture yourself naked 15)Tell him Bella is in Voltura on vacation 16)Then when he flies all the way to Italy, say you were joking 17)Tell him Bella wants a divorce 18)Ask him his bedtime 19)Give him a dog named Jacob, Sam Leah, Quil, Embry, ect. Anything but Seth 20)Tell him that the Blacks moved in with Bella and Charlie 21)Give him "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" as a joke 22)Smash all of his Cds onto the floor and tell him that is looks like him 23)Tell Nessie to color in his journals 24)Walk in while Edward is over in Bella's room without permission and tell Charlie on them. 25)Have a cookout with the Cullens, the Denali coven, the Egyptian, Irish, and Romanian covens and have human food on his birthday. 26)Throw garlic, crosses and wooden stakes at him. Then ask him, "Why the heck are you still alive." If you're still alive after that... 27)Tell him that you defiled his piano with your boyfriend/ girlfriend (If you think it's pay-back time for Edward for leaving and making the book and movie boring, copy and pste onto your profile) If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father and the glory of Heaven I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me? if you love sarcasim, copy and paste this into your profile I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you do a small, festive dance inside your head every time you read or hear the name Dimitri, copy this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile ╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your page IF YOU THROW A FIT WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THE TWILIGHT CHARACTERS AREN'T REAL COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE If you cried though out Blood Promise when Rose thinks back to the old Dimitri, copy and past this to your profile. If you want to cuss Spirit Bound out cause of the ending cope and past this to your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes from thinking about Vampire Academy, copy this into your profile. I got all of this from Belikov's-Girl If u want to read more go to her page. I also made some of it. FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. or Mrs. BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting in the cell next to you saying, "Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend FRIENDS: Will say you can do better BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live" FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry FRIENDS: Will help you move BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move the body FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS:Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"I'M HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough BESTFRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his but and maybe even scar him for life (hehe) FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them BEST FRIENDS: kick your butt and all's forgiven FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you Friends: Would comfort you if you got raped. Best friends: The rapist's body would be in the gutter shortly. Friends: At your house, they ask politely if they can use your computer to check their e-mail. Best friends: They get into your FanFiction account that you provided them with your username and password to do so long ago, and post hilarious fanfics under your name, just for you. Friends: Are sometimes bored when they're around you. Best friends: Think you're the most hilarious and fun person ever. Friends: Would feel uneasy going out for dinner with you if their parents didn't approve. Best friends: Would go cliff-diving if you suggested it. Friends: Will help you up when you fall Best friends: Will laugh at you Friends: Will tell you to look out for the pot hole. Best friends: Will push you at the pot hole then laugh at you even more. FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit! if you have read every vampire book you can get your little hands on, post it up! Rose: I'm always here for you Dimitri: I can just tell Dimitri: I'm always with her. I love her. Rose: Oh some boy Rose: Because, who wouldn't like you? Favourite Quotes Buffy: Buffy and Angel: 'Your going to hell' 'Save me a seat' Xander: 'I'm tired of being everyone's butt monkey!' Giles, Buffy, Willow: 'I like the fact that when he's angry, he's too British to say anything so he makes this clucking noise with his tongue!' 'Hi Giles!' 'Are you angry?' 'If I was, I'd be making a clucking noise with my tongue' And then Willow smiles XD Spike and Buffy: 'Spike what are you doing here? Five words or less.' 'Out. For. A. Walk...Bitch' Spike: 'Someone wasn't worthy...' Jesse and Darla: 'This one's mine!' 'They're all for the Master.' '...I don't get one?' Giles: 'The world is doomed.' Spike: 'Randy Giles? Why you just call me Horny Giles?' Angel: Fred: 'Have you seen my lab? It's giganomous, and I'm in charge!' Wesley and Fred: 'Why are we here again?' 'Because we are fighters against evil and the law firm that represents most of the evil gave us a job?' Darla: 'What? No one want's to sit with me? I promise I won't bite anyone.' Angel and Harmony: 'Here's your blood.' 'Please don't tell me that's--' 'It's pig blood, I'm totally off the human blood, that's not even a thing anymore' "Jasper Hale- Charming the ladies since 1843" "Alice Cullen- Quirkier than you since 1901" "How can someone so tiny be so annoying??It's a gift!!" (Edward and Alice) Fall down again Bella?? No...I punched a werewolf in the face!!" (Emmett and Bella) Thank you. As odd as it seems, I'm glad you're here, Jacob." "What you mean is, 'As much as I want to kill you right now, I'm glad she's warm' right?" -Jake and Edward in a tent from Eclipse "He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen someone so prone to life threatening idiocy." (Alice- New Moon) "We watched zombies eat people, it was great."-Bella Swan... " im not anti-social society is anti me " "I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do." (Bella- Twilight) "But I am a werewolf and he is a vampire." "I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party too." (Bella- Eclipse) "...when it comes to all this enemies nonsense I'm out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland." (Bella- Eclipse) “And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche.” (Alice- Eclipse) "First I will turn him into a flea! then I shall put him in a box!! Then put that box into another box! Then I will ship him to myself so I can smash him with a hammer!!" -The Emporer's New Groove "Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise.Time passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging dulls, but pass it does. Even for me."- Edward (New Moon) 0% *ღ.J3alous bitch .ღ* My Favorite Quotes Rose:"I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays." Heath: "Last time I saw you, I said that it hurt too much to love you. But I was wrong about that. The truth is it hurts too much not to love you." — P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast "But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?" "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?""
Adrian "He stepped back and threw his arms out. Richelle MeadShadow Kiss (Vampire Academy, #3) Alexander Sterling " I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into. " "Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Harry Potter, #4)) "You can't fool me, comrade. You want to put on a cowboy hat and put lawless bank robbers in line." — Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov "You don't love a girl because of beauty. You love her because she sings a song only you can understand." "You've used up all your school sick days," he said, persuing my file. "You've requested to leave school one hundred and thirty days out of the one hudred and forty days of school so far." Principal Reed and Raven" Armand "...Consequently, if you believe God made Satan, you must realize that all Satan's power comes from God and so that Satan is simply God's child, and that we are God's children also. There are no children of Satan, really" — Anne RiceInterview With the Vampire "You can't force love, I realized. It's there or it isn't. If it's not there, you've got to be able to admit it. If it is there, you've got to do whatever it takes to protect the ones you love." — Richelle Mead (Frostbite (Vampire Academy, #2) ) "Everyone is lonely, we have to remember that life is to be lived one day at a time. You cannot worry about the past or future. Happiness is in the now." " "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." "You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe." Still smiling, he turned the radio dail. To a country station. I wished someone would kill this radio." Shane: "Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something" Rachel CaineGlass Houses (The Morganville Vampires, #1) "No. If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." "Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?" "It’s funny—when people call you “shy,” they usually smile. Like it’s cute, some funny little habit you’ll grow out of when you’re older, like the gaps in your grin when your baby teeth fall out. If they knew how it felt—really being shy, not just unsure at first—they wouldn’t smile. Not if they knew how the feeling knots up your stomach or makes your palms sweat or robs you of the ability to say anything that makes sense. It’s not cute at all." — Claudia Gray (Evernight (Evernight, #1)) "I think you have a case of either 'testitis' or 'I Didn't Do My Homework Syndrome'. It's common in the Spring." — Ellen Schreiber (Vampireville (Vampire Kisses, Book 3)) "Fall down again, Bella?' "Don't put your wand into your back pocket! Better wizards then you have lost buttocks from it!" OmmmGGGG AND HUSH HUSH (MY favorite book in the whole entire world) !!!!!!! : Patch Cipriano is SO GOD DAMN HOOTTTTTT Favorite Hush Hush Quotes: -"I hate to break it to you but its red. I could light it on fire and it wouldn't turn any redder." - "Killer skirt. Deadly legs." Nora: "Put the knife down" Ahh Patch Cipriano (*Sighs dreamily*) QUOTES FROM MY FAVE BOOKSSSS (: Vampire academyy -"I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays." -"No. If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." -"My name is Dimitri Belikov, I've come to take you back to Saint Vladimir's Academy, Princess." -"Will I endanger the my reputation if I wear the dress to the dance?" I asked, Dimitri was silent for a while until he said so quietly his voice was just above a whisper "You'll endanger the school." -"Nowhere is safe. Wards fade. Guardians die." -"In the real world, you can make your own miracles." "you got cheap foreign labor to protect Lissa?" My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile If you like this copy and paste into your profile: If god gives you lemons... get a new god." (: If you've reread SPIRIT BOUND over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile READ VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR I'LL PROVOKE THE STRIGOI AND BLAME YOU! Random VA thing Who introduced you to the books? Myselff(: Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? bought them alll(: Are you most looking forward to: Blood Promise, Spirit Bound or Succubus Shadows? LAST SACRIFICEE!:D What's your dream ending to the series? That it doesn't endd(: Favourites: Who is your favourite character? BELIKOVV!(: Who's your favourite Dhampir? COMRADEE!(: What's one of your favourite quotes from the stories? "I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays."(: "What was your favourite Rose and Adrian moment?" umm the ones that don't have Adrian in themm(: How about your favourite Lissa and Rose moment? When Rose leaves for Siberiaa(:sooooo sweett(: What was your favourite adventure/battle? It's not that much of a battle but when Dimitri defends Rose at the cafe in Spirit Boundd(: Which book cover was your favourite? Sapirit Boundd(: Are these books among your favourite books of all? MORE LIKE ALL TIMEE!(: This or That? Vampire Academy or Frostbite? Vampire Academyy(: Frostbite or Shadow Kiss? Shadow Kisss(: Shadow Kiss or Vampire Academy? I lovee them bothh!(: Blood Promise or Spirit Bound? Spirit Boundd(: Who do you want to see Rose with most: Dimitri or Adrian? Who do you think?!DIMITRII!!!!BELIKOVAAAAA!!!! Who do you like more: Rose or Dimitri? my wittle russian godd!(: Rose or Adrian? Rozaa!(: Rose or Lissa? Rosiee Posiee(; Lissa or Adrian? Lisssa!(: Rose or Mia? Rozza!(: Christian or Lissa? Christiannn!(: Christian or Dimitri? Dimkaaa!(: Kirova or Alberta? Albertaaa!(: Adrian or Christian? Christiannn!(: Janine Hathaway or Tasha Ozera? I hate themm bothh!(: Lissa or Mia? Miaa(: Eddie or Mason Edwardoo!(: Anna or Vladimir? Mr. Vladds!(: Adrian or Mason? I hatee them allll!(: Eddie or Christian? Edwaardoo!(: Eddie or Adrian? Edwwardoooooo!(: Who's the better villain: Blonde Strigoi (Nathan) or Victor? ummmmm Victorr!(: Moroi or Dhampir? Dhampiirrr! how do you pronouncee that anywayss? like your saying Vampiree but with a d???(: Obama or McCain?' Obamaaa!(: Sarah or Joe? i really know nothing about themm(: 1. Comradee!(: for those of you who dont know who that iss its Dimitrii Belikovaa!(: - Vampire Academyy(: 2. Daniell Grigorii!(: -Fallenn!(: 3. Rozaa Hathawayy!(:- Vampire Academyy(: 4. Christiann Ozeraa!(:- Vampire Academyy(: 5. Eddwardoo Castilooo!(: isnt that how you spell his last namee?(: - Vampire Academyy(: 6. Lisssaaa Dragomirr!(:- Vampire Academyy(: 7. Miaa Rinaldii!(:- Vampire Academyy(: 8. Tatiannaa Ivashkovv!(:- Vampire Academyy(: 9. Sydneyy the Alchemistt!(:- Vampire Academyy(: 10. Lucee Pricee!(: -Fallenn!(: 11. I'm kind of running out of people so these are the people i hate from most hatred to least(: Adriann Ivashkovv!(:- Vampire Academyy(: 12. Tasshha Ozeraa!(:- Vampire Academyy(: 13. Masonn Ashfordd!(: -Vampire Academyy(: 14. Averyy Lazarr!(: -Vampire Academyy(: What if 14 and 4 got together? ummmm Lissa would legit murder christann and then Avery would try and bond herself with himm(: What if 14 hooked up with 8? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!(: What if 12 and 10 got together? Tasha And Lucee??? Well at least Comradee and Rosee wouldn't have to worry about Tasha anymoree(: What if 14 and 2 hooked up? The angel and the devil datingg? umm noo(: What if 10 and 6 got together? Why are all of theses relationships homosexuall???!!!!(: What if 1 and 9 hooked up? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!noone can have my russian godd!(: What if 3 was in the same book as 5? Ummmm no biggie they already aree(: What if 11 and 8 hooked up? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH ummmm now that is what i call a royalll scandalll!(: What if 9 and 11 hooked up? hmmmmm I don't think Sydney would date a creature of the nightt(: What if 14 and 3 hooked up? Another homo relationship! i dont have a problem with being gay but wtf???!!!! What if 1 and 2 hooked up? ummmm that would be badd my two main squeezezz having sexx?(: What if 3 got 4 pregnant? Actually Christian would get Roza preggers(; Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again. So when life gets tough you can just play pretend. I wanna go back to when Santa did exist. When my brother was the only boy you ever kissed. WhenDisney World was the best place to be. When the only movies you could see were rated G. When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change...and your friends were the same. And every time you were sad or you had a bad day you could just run to mommy and it would all be okay. I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter. When everyone alwayslives happily ever after. Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. Ask, "Did you feel that?" Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" Swat at flies that don't exist. Tell people that you can see their aura. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!" Put police tape in front of the door before entering. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you. Hold an auction. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male. Throw a rave. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei." Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral". Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again. When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?" Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'" Have a heated debate with yourself. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers. Drum on every available surface. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it. Propose to the other passengers. Challenge people to duels. Sell girl scout cookies. Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..." Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers. Shout "Food fight!" Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!" When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back. Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce! Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!" Make sushi. Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex." Shave. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection. Practice your kung fu. Make race car noises when people get on and off. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?" Fly a model airplane. Do yoga. Play the accordion Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure." Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word. You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fanfictions about the book. You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. You've got a book memorized. You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (I’ve done that multiple times. I did it with Blood Promise.) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock. You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human. You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf. You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character. Your idol is a character from a book AND I DONE IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!(: I have this calendar at home that has a few good comebacks that made me laugh soooo hard :D 1. The test came back positive. you're an idiot 2. Don't undress me with your eyes. I'm not wearing clean underwear 3. Come closer so I can walk all over you 4. You had me at i don't care 5. You can impress me by shutting up 6. But me a few drinks and you'll start looking richer 7. I'll put lipstick on my fist and give you a kiss 8. My stockings are ripped. My hair is filthy. I haven't bathed in weeks. I look pretty damn good 9. I've got your name tattooed on my butt ( says jerk) 10. If your not worshiping me, you're not doing your job 11. I don't flirt. If I want you, I'll let you know Try Not To Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun,he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother;I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack,I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry 2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are... Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you. I don't suffer from addiction to Kataang, I enjoy every minute of it! If you love Kataang, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile If you want to kill the person who said Avatar was a load of rubbish, copy and paste this into your profile! If you think all those who think Zuatara is the stupidest pairing, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If gum has ever fallen out of your mouth while you were talking, copy this into your profile "I am Wan-shi-tong, he who knows a thousand things. The 4923rd thing I know is that Katara and Aang will wnd up together." Copy and paste if you agree. If you think Zutara should be made illegal, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love to sit at your computer all day, doing timewasting things, copy and paste this to your profile. If you spend 10 hours on Fanfiction each day, copy and paste this to your profile (Uhm yeah...I don't really have a life..lol) Best Avatar Moments: Book One: Water- Sokka: (to Aang) Right and this is Katara, my flying sister. - The Bot in the Iceberg Sokka: (to Zuko) Ha! That's from the Water Tribe! - The Avatar Returns Katara: (to Aang) Aang, I know you're upset and I know how hard it is to loose the people you love. I went through the same thing when I lost my mom. Monk Gyatso and the other Airbenders may be gone, but you still have a family. Sokka and I, we're your family now. - The Southern Air Temple Katara: (to Aang) He's just upset because a bunch of girls kicked his butt yesterday. Sokka: (to Katara) They snuck up on me! Katara: (to Sokka) Right, and then they kicked your butt. - The Warriors of Kyoshi Aang: (to Katara and Sokka) You can call it luck... or you can call it lying. Sokka: (to Aang) What!? Aang: I made the whole thing up. Katara: (to Aang. smiles.) You did not. That is so wrong - The Great Divide Katara: (to Sokka and Aang) So, how do I look? Aang: (blushes. to Katara) Oh, you mean your whole body or just your neck? Because, you know, they both look great. Sokka: Smoochie, smoochie. Someone's in love. - The Fortune Teller Aang: (to Katara) I wish I could give you something from home, Katara. Katara: (to Aang) I'll be okay. Aang: Still, just a little trinket. Maybe something like... this! (holds up her lost necklace) Katara: Aang! How did you find it? Aang: Zuko made sure I got it back to you. Katara: Aw, that's so sweet of Zuko. Could you give him a kiss for me when you see him? Aang: Sure. (Katara kisses Aang on the cheek) - Bato of the Water Tribe Katara: (to Sokka) Do you think we'll find the Airbenders? Sokka: (to Katara) Do you want to be like you or totally honest? Katara: Are you saying I'm a liar? Sokka: I'm saying you're an optimist. Same thing basically. - The Northern Air Temple Katara: (to Pakku) No. There's no way I'm going to apologize to a sour old man like you! Aang: (to Katara) Um... Katara? Katara: (to Pakku) I'll be outside if you're man enough to fight me. - The Waterbending Master Book Two: Earth- Katara: (to Aang) Can we talk about something? Aang: (to Katara) Sure. Katara: Remember when we were at the Air Temple and you saw Monk Gyatso's skeleton? It must have been so horrible and traumatic for you. I saw you get so upset you weren't even you anymore. I'm not saying the Avatar State doesn't have incredible and helpful power. But you have to understand, for the people who love you, seeing you in that much rage and pain is really scary. - The Avatar State Aang: (to Katara) How are we going to get out of these caves? Katara: (to Aang) I have a crazy idea. Aang: What? Katara: Never mind, it's too crazy. Aang: Katara, what is it? Katara: I was thinking. The curse says we'll be trapped in here forever unless we trust in love. Aang: Right. Katara: And here it says: "Love is brightest in the dark" and it has a picture of them kissing. Aang: Where are you going with this? Katara: Well, what is we kissed? Aang: Us kissing?! Katara: See, I told you it was a crazy idea. Aang: Us... kissing. Katara: (laughs) Us kissing. What was I thinking? Can you imagine that? Aang: (tries to laugh it off) Heehee. Yea, I definitely wouldn't wanna kiss you. (eyes widen in mistake) Katara: (a little hurt) Oh, I didn't realize it was such a horrible option. Sorry I suggested it! Aang: No, no! If it was a choice between kissing you and dying. Katara: (angry) Ugh! Aang: What!? I'm saying I'd rather kiss you then die. It's a compliment. Katara: Well I'm not sure which I'd rather do! Aang: What is wrong with me? - Cave of Two Lovers OMG...A LINE!!!!!!! Heheheh...yeah... If you love to sit at your computer all day, doing timewasting things, copy and paste this to your profile. If you spend 10 hours on Fanfiction each day, copy and paste this to your profile (Uhm yeah...I don't really have a life..lol) Best Avatar Moments: Book One: Water- Sokka: (to Aang) Right and this is Katara, my flying sister. - The Bot in the Iceberg Sokka: (to Zuko) Ha! That's from the Water Tribe! - The Avatar Returns Katara: (to Aang) Aang, I know you're upset and I know how hard it is to loose the people you love. I went through the same thing when I lost my mom. Monk Gyatso and the other Airbenders may be gone, but you still have a family. Sokka and I, we're your family now. - The Southern Air Temple Katara: (to Aang) He's just upset because a bunch of girls kicked his butt yesterday. Sokka: (to Katara) They snuck up on me! Katara: (to Sokka) Right, and then they kicked your butt. - The Warriors of Kyoshi Aang: (to Katara and Sokka) You can call it luck... or you can call it lying. Sokka: (to Aang) What!? Aang: I made the whole thing up. Katara: (to Aang. smiles.) You did not. That is so wrong - The Great Divide Katara: (to Sokka and Aang) So, how do I look? Aang: (blushes. to Katara) Oh, you mean your whole body or just your neck? Because, you know, they both look great. Sokka: Smoochie, smoochie. Someone's in love. - The Fortune Teller Aang: (to Katara) I wish I could give you something from home, Katara. Katara: (to Aang) I'll be okay. Aang: Still, just a little trinket. Maybe something like... this! (holds up her lost necklace) Katara: Aang! How did you find it? Aang: Zuko made sure I got it back to you. Katara: Aw, that's so sweet of Zuko. Could you give him a kiss for me when you see him? Aang: Sure. (Katara kisses Aang on the cheek) - Bato of the Water Tribe Katara: (to Sokka) Do you think we'll find the Airbenders? Sokka: (to Katara) Do you want to be like you or totally honest? Katara: Are you saying I'm a liar? Sokka: I'm saying you're an optimist. Same thing basically. - The Northern Air Temple Katara: (to Pakku) No. There's no way I'm going to apologize to a sour old man like you! Aang: (to Katara) Um... Katara? Katara: (to Pakku) I'll be outside if you're man enough to fight me. - The Waterbending Master Book Two: Earth- Katara: (to Aang) Can we talk about something? Aang: (to Katara) Sure. Katara: Remember when we were at the Air Temple and you saw Monk Gyatso's skeleton? It must have been so horrible and traumatic for you. I saw you get so upset you weren't even you anymore. I'm not saying the Avatar State doesn't have incredible and helpful power. But you have to understand, for the people who love you, seeing you in that much rage and pain is really scary. - The Avatar State Aang: (to Katara) How are we going to get out of these caves? Katara: (to Aang) I have a crazy idea. Aang: What? Katara: Never mind, it's too crazy. Aang: Katara, what is it? Katara: I was thinking. The curse says we'll be trapped in here forever unless we trust in love. Aang: Right. Katara: And here it says: "Love is brightest in the dark" and it has a picture of them kissing. Aang: Where are you going with this? Katara: Well, what is we kissed? Aang: Us kissing?! Katara: See, I told you it was a crazy idea. Aang: Us... kissing. Katara: (laughs) Us kissing. What was I thinking? Can you imagine that? Aang: (tries to laugh it off) Heehee. Yea, I definitely wouldn't wanna kiss you. (eyes widen in mistake) Katara: (a little hurt) Oh, I didn't realize it was such a horrible option. Sorry I suggested it! Aang: No, no! If it was a choice between kissing you and dying. Katara: (angry) Ugh! Aang: What!? I'm saying I'd rather kiss you then die. It's a compliment. Katara: Well I'm not sure which I'd rather do! Aang: What is wrong with me? - Cave of Two Lovers OMG...A LINE!!!!!!! Heheheh...yeah... NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! TWILIGHT FANS: say OH MY EDWARD!! (OME) NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I’ll tell on you! TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or I’ll provoke the Volturi and blame you NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!! NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; ) NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON NORMAL PEOPLE: don’t have this on there profile TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there Profile I don't want a prince on a horse, I want a vampire that owns a Volvo! I’m a Twilight fan i have been diagnosed ~THE TWILIGHT OATH~ Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Bella: Do I Ever Cross Your Mind? Lucky Bella. o)_Crayola_)) Got a problem with me? Solve it! Think im trippin? Tie my shoes! Can't stand me? Sit me back down! Can't face me? Then turn around! Love me Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee ! x~~HOES BEFORE BROS~x~ Love me Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee ! Team Edward Because Team Jacob Doesn't Sparkle...but hey, don't tell my friend I said that because she will kick me hard! I'm bored... If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... -They laugh because I'm different...i laugh because they're the same. Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment. -BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" "We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box." A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. - There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. - "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? The greater danger for most of us is not that Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn) Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn ´*•.¸{✿✿(*´*•.¸ ¸.•*´*)✿✿•}¸. •* ´ ✔Certified Twilight Fan [ ] тнιѕ ιѕ мє, ℓσνє мє σя нαтє мє [ ] ~I am ME! ║ Gσt A Prσblεm...Sσlνε It! ɞ~ ✔Certified Twilight Fan ~✿~ღ~ ~* Fave Couples: ~Twilight~ BellaxEdward BellaxAlec BellaxDemetri AlicexJasper RosaliexEmmet RenesmeexJacob RenesmeexNahuel RenesmeexAlec ~Naruto~ SakuraxKiba SakuraxKakashi SakuraxGaara SakuraxShikamaru SakuraxNeji SakuraxGenma InoxChoji InoxSai InoxShikamaru TenTenxNeji TenTenxLee HinataxNaruto HinataxSasuke ××ιlιlι═══════.●.══════ιlιlι × ღ ι ℓινє му ℓιfє αѕ ι ωιѕн тσ ℓινє ιт ∂σи'т ℓσσк ∂σωи 10 Reasons Why You Should Love Sakura: 1.) She's beautiful 2.) She's Strong 3.) She KICKS ASS! CHA!! 4.) She reflects on herself. 5.) She knows when a friendship is over. 6.) She broke out of her shell 7.) She was never useless 8.) She saved Sasuke and Naruto, both, from themselves. 9.) She's an awesome medic ninja!! 10.) She's not emo or shy. She knows who she is and is not afraid to show it; Or afraid to show who she loves. She may have faltered in a few episodes and people don't like it when she hits the guys, but face it anti-Sakura fans, Naruto would not be Naruto without what Sakura has done. She's superior. ╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗ :¨·.·¨: your the PEANUT to my BUTTER , тнє αℓρнαвєт sтαятs ωιтн α в c ×doИ't єυa frσωи bєcαυsє yσυ'll иєυєr ωнσ αяє уσυ тσ נυ∂gє тнє ℓιfє ι ℓινє... Eνεячвσdч аlωaчs Wαnts Tσ Bεε Hαppч . . I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty FRIENDSHIP 1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well. Again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you. 9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend' Life is never on ▌▌ ► The laughter! As long as ღMe, Myself, and Iღ єνєяу gιяl нαѕ тнαт σηє gυу тнαт тнєу'll ηєνєя gєт σνєя, тнαт σηє ωнσ мαкєѕ уσυ lαυgн...тнє σηє ωнσ gινєѕ υ вυттєяƒliєѕ, ωнєη ѕσмєσηє ѕαуєѕ нιѕ ηαмє...тнє σηє ωнσ яємємвєяѕ αll тнє lιттlє тнιηgѕ уσυ ѕαу, тнє тнιηgѕ уσυ тнιηк αяє ѕтυριδ... αηδ яємιηδѕ уσυ αвσυт ιт мσηтнѕ ƒяσм ησω...тнє σηє ωнσ нαѕ нιѕ ηαмє ωяιттєη ιη уσυя нєαят...тнє σηє уσυ ¢σмραяє єνєяу σтнєя gυу тσ...тнє σηє уσυ ηєνєя gєт ѕι¢к, σƒ тαlкιηg тσ σя нєαяιηg αвσυт...тнє σηє тнαт уσυ _¢яу_ σνєя αηδ σνєя αвσυт...тнє σηє тнαт уσυ кησω уσυ ¢αη ηєνєя т●я●υ●ѕ●т уσυяѕєlƒ ωιтн...тнє σηє тнαт ησ-σηє ¢αη υηδєяѕтαηδ: ωну нιм؟...тнє σηє тнαт є-ν-є-я-у-σ-η-є тнιηкѕ... уσυ ¢αη δσ в¦є¦т¦т¦є¦я...тнє σηє уσυ кηєω уσυ l.σ.ν.є.δ ιη αη ιηѕтαηт ××ιlιlι═══════.●.══════ιlιlι × иσ мσяє, иσ ℓєѕѕ, иσ ѕє¢σиd gυєѕѕ . . . Ι ℓαυgн, iℓσνє, i ℓiνє, i ¢яч αиd ѕσмєтiмєѕ i ωiѕн тнαт i ωσυℓd diє. ѕσмє dαчѕ i'м fυиич, σтнєя dαчѕ i'м иσт ѕσмє dαчѕ i'м iи σνєяdяiνє, αиd i cαи'т ѕтσρ xD чσυ мαч иσт ℓiкє мє вυт тнαт'ѕ σкαч, тнiѕ iѕ мє αη∂ тнiѕ iѕ нσω i'ℓℓ ѕтαч! : ¢яiтi¢izє мє αη∂ i ωσит ℓiкє чσυ igиσяє мє αη∂ i ωσит fσяgiνє чσυ fℓαттєя мє αη∂ i ωσит вєℓiєνє чσυ єи¢συяαgє мє αη∂ i'ℓℓ иσт fσяgєт чσυ ℓσνє мє αη∂ i'ℓℓ נυѕт ℓσνє чσυ! Bears don’t want to eat people. We don’t taste that good. Of course, you might be an exception. I bet you’d taste good." -Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.200 "As long as you like me the best. And you think I’m good-looking—sort of. I’m prepared to be annoyingly persistent." -Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 9, p.212 "Yeah, I’ll always be your friend. No matter what you love." -Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 18, p.409 (I especially love this one!) "Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?" -Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 13, p.321 “I think she’s having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her.” -Alice Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 22, p.486 "It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share." -Alice Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 16, p.346 Alice: “I know-I’ll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors.” "Fall down again, Bella?" "This hostage stuff is fun!" -Alice Edward: "Marry Me. "You're.Not.Aging" "Penguins. Lovely."- Edward. "I don't have any leeches on my speed dial, sorry."- Jacob. "I'm so glad Edward didn't kill you. Things are so much more fun with you around." -Emmett, I can't remember the exact quote =)) "Does my being half naked bother you?"- Jacob Bella: " You know I love you." Bella: "Love you, Jake." "Don't be stupid! Don't you like having ten toes?!"- Jacob. Edward: "Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?" "Edward, was that you we heard?" -Esme Quotes I liked found from these following sites: And the rest I personally found in the books. =D You're probably asking, "Why would she go for so much trouble just for quotes?" Truthfully, I had nothing better to do. Lol! Do it one by one, don't look ahead! 1. Write the name of a person of the oposite sex. 2.Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, or yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so scroll down (don't cheat- -) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completly in love with this person 2. If you choose Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservitive and agressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If your initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relashonship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experiance a major life changing experiance for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on in a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides with you and would do anything for you, but may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. THis is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person. 9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come before your next birthday Favourite quotes. "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."- Marilyn Monroe. "If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty." "The Hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else" Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt Ive felt, letting go is the most painful yet Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everythings okay, hold back all the tears and just walk away 2 eyes to see, 2 ears to hear, 2 hands to hold, 2 legs to walk. but 1 heart because the other was given to someone else, for us to find. Reaching our Limits... We are fast, we are furios... We are team Emmett! -- We are legion, for we are many… We are Team Jasper hear us roar! --... So in theory I am Team Emmsper!! ... The Thirteen Commandments of Fanfiction 1. Thou shalt not write Mary-Sue or Gary-Stu stories. EVER. If you do not follow these main points, do not be surprised by the flames you get. Although I personally have nothing against song fics as long as the author doesn't just copy and paste the lyrics at the bottom or top of the story. My favorite Jasper quotes out of the Saga: (Twilight) I can feel what you’re feeling now — and you are worth it. Chapter 19, p.404 (Eclipse) We have a few advantages, dog. It will be an even fight. Chapter 17, p.379 (Eclipse) You truly are one frightening little monster. Chapter 18, p.396 My Favorite Quotes I believe that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, then find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. In order to get to heaven, you have to make a little hell. If you try and don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Normality will be restored as soon as remember what it is. Fear nothing. Risk everything. I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for someone I'm not. We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they learn how to live in the same box. You have to take to good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got, remember what you had, always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret, people change, things go wrong, but just remember that life goes on. You may regret what you do, but you'll regret what you don't do even more. Stand up for what you believe in, even is it means standing alone. Love is like war. It's easy to begin, impossible to forget, and hard to end. Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is not. Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it all together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that is true strength. We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up in mutual weirdness and call it love. The best things in life are unseen. That's why we colse our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream. There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who never will. So don't worry about the people in your past. There is a reason they didn't make it to your future. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let them go, things go wrong so that you can learn to appreciate them when they're right, you believe less so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better ones can come together. You spend minutes, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces back together, justifying what could've, would've happened. Or you just leave the pieces on the floor and try to move on. The past. It's done. It's unchangeable. Move on. Nothing last forever. So live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid all the bullshit, and never have regrets. Because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted. Well-behaved women seldom make history. People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something good to talk about. Stop the heartache, rewind the good times, fast foward the bad things, and pause the unforgettable moments. The only reason people hold on to memories so tightly is because they are the only things that stay the same when everyone and everything changes. Be careful who you trust, don't listen to anyone who gets in your way, do what you think is right, and forget what other people have to say. Judge me and I'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do, and I'll tell you off. Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. Call me a bitch and I'll show you one. Screw me over and I'll do it to you twice as hard. Call me crazy, but you really have no idea. Life is all about ass. Either everyone is covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece if it, or simply just being one. Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave in a safe, well-preserved body, but to skid in sideways, totally worn out, screaming "Holy shit, what a ride!" I am no way near perfect. I eat when I'm bored, I fall for boys easily, I'm vulnerable to believing lies, I make up excuse for everything. I have best friends and enemies. I have drama and memories. That's life. Live it, love it, learn from it. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're good at one thing, and that's staying strong. In a world of cheerios, be a Froot-Loop. Light travels faster than sound. That's why people appear bright until you hear them speak. I'd rather be a bitch than a whore, because I'd rather be known for what I do, not whom I do. The truth is...everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to decide who is worth the pain. Basic definitions of science: if it's green or wiggles, it's Biology. If it stinks, it's Chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's Physics. Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic. You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing. We're not sarcastic, we're hilarious. We're not annoying, we're just cooler than you. We're not bitches, we just don't like you. We're not obsessed, we're just best friends. I'm not afriad of Death. What's he going to do, kill me? It doesn't matter whether the glass if half-full or half-empty. Just drink the damn thing and get it over with. Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but hey, it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone. Advice is what we ask for when we already have the answer but wish we didn't. Don'y play games with a girl who can play better. If it wasn't for physics and the law, hell, I'd be unstoppable. With everything that you can do, the real question is what will you do? A suicide note written by someone who isn't suicidal is called an autobiography. Don't let the bastards get you down. My Favorite Twilight Quotes What if you sincerely believed something was true, but you were dead wrong? What if you were so stubbornly sure that you were right, that you wouldn't even consider the truth? Would the truth be silenced, or would it try to break through? Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of a second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind the bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly, everything was on fire. There was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for living. I'll be back so soon you won't even have time to miss me. Look after my heart--I've left it with you. Option three: Edward loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect then he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so he would always be mine. I am Switzerland. Afraid of a needle...Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on toturing her to death, sure, no prolem, she runs off the meet him. An IV on the other hand... How can I put this so that you’ll believe me? You’re not asleep, and you’re not dead. I’m here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn’t want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy. Sometimes, kismet happens. Life sucks, and then you die. A Prayer of Edward-- Our Edward, One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen," replied the congregation. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high-school /college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Wonder about your love life. FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public. FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. FRIENDS: Help you find your prince. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. FRIENDS: Will help you move. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Tells you she knows how you feel. -If you read New Moon and wanted to punch Jacob Black, copy this into your profile. 10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen: 10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent. 9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent. 8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun. 7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER. 6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France. 5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”. 4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death? 3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water. 2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy. And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen? 1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!” 10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale: 10. Beg him not to eat you. 9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen. 8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry. 7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain. 6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away. 5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood. 4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts. 3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”. 2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction. And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale? 1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style. 10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen: 10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near. 9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride. 8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it. 7. Ask how Tanya is. 6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.” 5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face. 4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?” 3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga. 2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again. And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen? 1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna. 10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen: 10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist. 9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth. 8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship. 7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake. 6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in. 5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male. 4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed. 3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep. 2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen? 1.When he denies the abovetow claims, respondwith "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!" 10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen: 10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them." 9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget. 8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can. 7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin. 6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting." 5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic. 4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling 3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming. 2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes. And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen? 1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines. 10 ways to annoy Bella Swan: 10. Ask about Eric. 9. Ask about Mike. 8. Ask about Jacob. 7. Ask about Edward. 6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys. 5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun. 4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy. 3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes. 2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon. And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan? 1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction. 10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale: 10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment. 9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face. 8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” 7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great. 6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” 5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways. 4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face. 3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face. 2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her. And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale? 1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne. 10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen: 10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses. 9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc. 8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel? 7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy” 6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile. 5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake. 4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction. 3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off. 2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman. And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen? 1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail. 10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black: 10. Never use English around him – instead, bark. 9. Call him a space heater. 8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners. 7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet. 6. Inform him that real men sparkle. 5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage. 4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot. 3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella. 2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style. And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black? 1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human. Now I sit me down in school If Scripture now the class recites, Our hair can be purple, orange or green, For praying in a public hall We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, We can get our condoms and birth controls, It's scary here I must confess, Amen FUNNY LISTS!!!!! 50 Things to Do in a Mall 1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!' 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles. 7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable. 8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King.. 9. ..but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're 'astronaut food'. 10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from 'Dianetics.' 11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I. 12. Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, 'You mean you really can't see it?' 13. Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears. 14. Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning. 15. Test mattresses in your pajamas. 16. Ask the tobaccanist if his hovercraft is full of eels. 17. If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side. 18. Sprint up the down escalator. 19. Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the 'hidden picture'. 20. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish. 21. Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda. 22. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone. 23. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them. 24. Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner. 25. Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist. 26. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swane. 27. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens. 28. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard. 29. In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, 'I see London, I see France..' 30. Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps. 31. Play the tuba for change. 32. Ask the Hammond organ dealer if he can play 'Jesus Built My Hotrod'. 33. Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers. 34. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will 'give you a really wicked buzz'. 35. Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have 'any giant crap made out of straw'. 36. 'Toast' plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display. 37. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts. 38. Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it. 39. Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing 'Saved by the Bell'. Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets. 40. Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling 'scratch one flattop!' 41. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are 'leakproof'. 42. 'Play' the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises. 43. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down. 44. Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether they're real. 45. If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on your lap. 46. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say 'Domino's.' 47. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself. 48. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed. 49. Show people your driver's license and demand to know 'whether they've seen this man.' 50. Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet. 101 Ways To Annoy People 1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 34. Drum on every available surface. 35. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings. 38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks. 39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 41. Set alarms for random times. 42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving. 44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 45. Honk and wave to strangers. 46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 49. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 53. only type in lowercase. 54. dont use any punctuation either 55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 56. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. 60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories. 61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 73. Drive half a block. 74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back. 77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl. 78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet. 81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 86. Wear a LOT of cologne. 87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 88. Sing along at the opera. 89. Mow your lawn with scissors. 90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!" 91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 96. Never make eye contact. 97. Never break eye contact. 98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties. LIVE ON ROCK MUSIC you say pop- I say shut the fuck up you say soulja boy- I say blink 182 you say rihanna - I say metallica you say hip-hop - I say three days grace you say lady gaga - I say bullet for my valentine you say emenem - I say rise against you say hanna montana - I scream heavy metal you say justin bieber - I rip your fucking head off 92% of teenagers have turned to hip-hop and pop, if ur part of the 8%, copy this message and past it to an other video. DONT LET THE SPIRIT OF ROCK DIE!!! I IZ A NINJA!!!! A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy this into your profile if you're a Ninja! Some things that I "question" in the movie, "Twilight" and "New Moon"... I know! What a shocker! I thought it was perfect, too! (In no particular order) 1. Why is Billy Black driving? He's in a wheel chair. 2. Do you see Emmett in the cafeteria eating or is it just me? 3. Ever notice that when the Cullen's are in the cafeteria, Jasper always looks at Bella first? 4. Why do they all stand next to their 'significant' others? It's a bit weird. 5. How come Bella and Edward can't leave in the baseball scene because there is not enough time? What a lie. He could have raced her back home before the Nomads came. 6. Why is Edward in slow motion? ROFL. This isn't Baywatch, yet it is a nice touch. (In both movies, he's in slow mo. lol.) 7. People who haven't read the books (crazy right?) are probably wondering... "When the hell did Jasper get a power?" You can't just make a movie and expect people to understand. Nothing was explained. Not everyone has read the books. smacks the director 8. I wonder what people were thinking when they heard "La tua cantante" in the movie. If they haven't read the books, they were all kinds of confused. Nobody thought about that. 9. In the elevator scene, Bella and Alice are trying there hardest not to laugh. It's pretty darn funny. Actors aren't perfect, guys. 10. The Vampire in Italy who brings in the humans as a meal (Heidi?), she gets one tiny line and you barely even see her. Yet she was all over TV and magazines because she's in the movie. Hm...showing her for all of five seconds didn't leave me wanting more. I could have done without. 11. Well we all seen Bella punch a werewolf in New Moon and thats how "the bat comes out of the bag" lol... but that part doesn't happen until Eclipse (in the book) and she hits Jacob. It was one of my favorite parts and now it won't happen in the movie. That just... blows. Gr... 12. Don't know about you but I'm pretty sure Vampire's aren't supposed to change. How many scenes in Twilight can you make Jasper's hair differently? And then when New Moon came out, it was vene more bonkers. And now with the Eclipse trailer... have you seen his hair? (Somebody needs a new hair and make up team) I consider myself a 'green' person. I do believe that we, the world, need to fight ecological failure. I know that people do do things that help the environment. Like building houses with a small carbon footprint. But I mean EVERYONE has to do their part. This part is in bold because I really want everyone to pay attention to it. GO GREEN PEOPLE!! Next time you go to the grocery store, use a cloth bag!. When you take home leftovers from the restaurant, SAVE THE PLASTIC CONTAINERS!!. Do not buy bottled water unless it is fizzy, flavored, or you are dying of thirst. 'Spring' water is really just uber clean tap water. If you do buy bottled water, REUSE THE BOTTLES!! When you go to the park, help out and pick up some of the trash you see. DO NOT LITTER!! If you go to school, try joining the school's green team. If the school doesn't have one, form one! Please! Help the environment! TOP 8 REASONS WHY INSANIY IS AWSOME: SIX TRUTHS OF LIFE: 6 Truths of Life 1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue. 2. All idiots, after reading #1, will try it. 3. And discover that #1 is a lie. 4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot. 5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.. 6. There's still a stupid smile on your face. I apologize for this. But I'm an idiot and I needed company... These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people *actually* *said* *in* *court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in ATTORNEY: Now doctor, "isn't it true that when a person dies in his ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? And the best for last: In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. DADDY”S RULES FOR DATING Your dad’s rules for your boyfriend (or for if you’re a guy) Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you don’t peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about the issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with you underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the courses of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier Method’ of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and only word I need you to say on this subject is ‘early'. Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The Following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough too induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, mid-driff t shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose-parka, zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided: movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folk’s homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shot gun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of our car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a nice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as a wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face in the window is mine. HUMAN GUYS VS. EDWARD CULLEN A human guy can only push you out of the way of a speeding car. If people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this into your profile. If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse and/or Breaking Dawn, copy and pastes this into your profile. Don't Like My "Twilight" Obsession? The Mortal Instruments. I wish I had my own Jace Wayland, so if anyone fancies finding me a hot, brooding, sarcastic, tawney eyed Shadowhunter boy, that would be great :) The Mortal Instruments is probably the only place I will write yaoi (PG, mind u.) Magnus and Alec are SOO cute! And then there's Jace Wayland. Do i need to say more? Ok, i will anyway :) Gold skin, gold hair, gold eyes Sigh beautiful. I dont usually like tatoos, but for that boy, I will make an acception. :D I think he and Clary are awesome together, even though it took them FOREVER to get together. I think Valentine was a child abusing asshole that is now getting pwned by the Devil every day of his life. Yeah, that thought makes me feel better too! The series was so amazing, it was like the Epicness of Harry Potter and the good qualities (i think there's some) of Twilight and rolled it together to make it totally awesome. I just hope it doesnt get the psychotic hype Twilight got prays "...Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?' Clary: So when the moon's only partly full, you only feel a little wolfy? Luke: You could say that. Clary: You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock. "Jesus!" Luke exclaimed. Jace: Well, you'll have to wait till tomorrow. I'm out of commission.(he points to his shirt) Look. Jammies. "Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor. And he smells like Windex." "I don't want tea," said Clary, with muffled force. "I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them." "One of the Silent Brothers is here to see you. Hodge sent me to wake you up. Actually, he offered to wake you up himself, but since it's five a.m., I figured you'd be less cranky if you had something nice to look at." Suddenly reminded, she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh—Simon!" Okay so If you hadn't guessed by now I'm slightly obsessed with the mortal instruments... Mainly Jace... but come on girls... or guys if that's what your into... Who couldn't love him...? Oh, and I am NOT anti JacexClary... I know 3 of my ff are kinda anti JacexClary but I'm not... \Quotations I Love ~~~ "You Loved Me-Then What Right Did You Have To Leave Me?...You, Of Your Own Free Will, Did It.I Have Not Broken Your Heart, You Have Broken It, And In Breaking It, You Have Broken Mine" Heath-Cliff To Cathy (Wuthering Heights) "Yet To Say The Truth, Reason And Love Keep Little Company Together Nowadays" Bottom To Titania (A Midsummer Night's Dream) "Is Love A Tender Thing? Is It Too Rough, Too Rude, Too Boist'rous; And It Pricks Like A Thorn" Romeo To Mercutio (Romeo & Juliet) "I Used To Think Of You That Way, You Know. Like The Sun. My Own Personal Sun, You Balanced Out The Clouds Nicely For Me" - Bella To Jacob (The Twilight Saga / Eclipse) "How Can You Resist...A Vampires Kiss?" Unknown. "Sometimes I Wondered If I Was Seeing The Same Things, Through My Eyes, That The Rest Of The World Was Seeing Through Theirs" - Bella (The Twilight Saga / Twilight) "Twilight, Again...No Matter How Perfect The Day, It Always Has To End - Edward (The Twilight Saga, Twilight) "Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of, His And Mine Are The Same; And Linton's Is As Different As A Moonbeam From Lightning, Or As Frost From Fire" - Cathy (Wuthering Heights) "Love Looks Not With The Eyes, But With The Mind" - Helena (A Midsummer Night's Dream) "Sometimes Love Is Eternal...For Good...For Evil..." - Unknown AURA'S ((Originality From The Book Evermore)) Red - Energy, Strength, Sexuality, Passion, Fear, Ego. Orange - Self-Control, Ambition, Courage, Thoughtfulness, Lack Of Will, Apathetic. Yellow - Optimistic, Happy, Intellectual, Friendly, Indecisive, Easily Led. Green - Peaceful, Healing, Compassion, Deceitful, Jealous. Blue - Spiritual, Loyal, Creative, Sensitive, Kind, Moody. Violet - Highly Spiritual, Wisdom, Intuition. Indigo - Benevolence, Highly Intuitive, Seeker. Pink - Love, Sincerity, Friendship. Grey - Depression, Sadness, Exahustion, Low Energy, Skeptisum. Brown - Greed, Self-Involvement, Opinionated. Black - Lacking Energy, Illness, Imminent Death. White - Perfect Balance. Which Aura Are You? [Tilts Head To The Side In Astonishment] The Enemy They say they're the enemy Supposed To What are you supposed to do Charity When you pass a tramp on the street Have you ever donated Has a stranger ever passed you Have you ever seen a child crying And then one day you're on your way Solitary Confinement Sat in a corner covered in pitch black Strays We only see whatwe want to see Music You listen to lyrics AACD is Addicted to All Cullens Disorder I used to say : Go ahead have Edward! I want Jace ! Now I'm caught between Jace and Dimitri... The dream boys: Jace lightwood and Dimitri Belikov. Shadowkiss Quotes: (Don't read unless you've read the book! SPOLIER) Rhonda: "You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can" Rose : "You'd let him die? You wouldn't do this? You wouldn't do this for me? I'd do anything for you. You know that. And you won't do this for me?" Rose: "Where's Dimitri?" Janine: "He wasn't there, Rose." Rose: "Is he... Is Dimitri a Strigoi?" Rose: My heart shattered. My world shattered. Rose Hathaway: It hadn't been me Rhonda was talking about. It hadn't even been Dimitri's life. It had been his soul. Rose : "I have to do this." Lissa: "Even if it means leaving me?" Lissa: " I need you. He's gone, Rose." I set off, off to kill the man I love. If you swear to never do drugs of any kind add this to your profile. My favourite Quote: "Nobody's perfect. I'm Nobody." Random Quotes: “What’s this?” “It’s a girl. Surely you’ve seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one." City of bones “Apparently electricity is dangerous.” Artemis Fowl “If I died, would it get me out of the geometry Test tomorrow? One could only hope.” Zoey, Marked “Spider-pig! Spider-pig! Does what ever a Spider-pig does, can he fly? No he can’t! Spider-pig! “ Homer, The Simpsons If I could be any story book character i'd be... Rose Hathaway. She's badass, beautiful, and despite everything she usually comes out on top. Plus there's the whole Dimitri thing... I (and im totally copyrighting these) wrote two lists of how to... Ten ways to identify you may have a writing problem….. 1. You accidentally refer to your friends by the names you’ve given them in your stories. 2. You purposely refer to your friends by the names you’ve given them in your stories because you like them better. 3. You carry on conversations with yourself in your head. 4. People think you’re quiet because you prefer conversations in your head to the real thing. 5 You randomly think in third person. 6. You randomly think in first person, from your friends POV’s. 7. You randomly think in first person, from your main character’s POV. 8. More than an hour away from your laptop and your fingers start to twitch. 9. In a conversation you randomly refer to something your main character said. 10. Trips to the mall are character studies. Ten ways to identify you have a book problem?… 1. There’s no more room on your book shelf. 2. You hide books under your bed because there no more room on the other book shelf either. 3. You think spending limits at the mall is funny, because you get spending limits at the bookstore. 4. Before you watch a movie you immediatly look for the book version. 5. You bring a book to the movies. 6. You bring a book to a sleep over. 7. The librarians ask you for something good to read. 8. Your friends have declared you’re “Eating knowledge for lunch again” 9. You consider Not knowing who Tolkien is as blasphemy. 10. You use words like blasphemy every chance you get. yes. I am this bad at both of these. ALL TRUE^^^ HAHA MALABSORBENT!! MORE THAN YOU!! =D This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (I don't even want to know how many I have done) Ever since kindergarden Jesse was always at one girls beck and call. Then one day Stephanie gets a call that says Jesse was killed buying a doze n white roses. The next moment the door bell rings and she recieves the flowers he'd recently bought. On the card it said; The first year you were cruel and unsuspectingly mean. the second you were cold and rude all the same third you screamed you hated me but i still fished you from the pool fourth you bad mouthed me to all your friends the very ones i saved you from eleventh i wrote each word of every lesson and taught you near your hospital bed twelfth i wrote you poetry and asked you to homecoming but instead you call me a loser and go with your baby daddy thirteenth year i knew you i confessed my love and left no stone unturned you told me i was a freak and left me with you homework nineteenth year you told me to drop dead twentieth year I've known you I love you all the same so I asked for the drive by I hoped i answered your prayers. ~Jesse~ PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it Thoughts on Gay Marriage! 1) Gay marriage is not natural, and as Americans, we always reject unatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and lyposuction. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Have PRIDE! Support Gay Marriage! Love knows no gender, age, or color. If you believe this, copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe that preps travel in packs, copy and paste this into your profile. Advertising Blunder of the Century: Naming a condom after a city that is famous for letting its greatest enemy penetrate through its legendary walls to destroy all in its path in the guise of a victory prize. Lesson: There is no such thing as safe sex(if you can't figure it out, its the "trojan" war...haha) People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them Straight is something crooked that was bent Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! I want revenge. Is that so wrong? Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done The problem with reality is a lack of background music Last night I played a blank tape on full blast. The mime next door went nuts I laugh in the face of death...maybe not laugh more like a snicker...a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back You can learn a lot about a person if you just take the time to inject them with sodium pentothal The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his Nunquam lamiae morde me dice. - Never say 'bite me' to a vampire If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it People are morons. I don't have any other explanation. I really don't the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train light travels faster than sound. this is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak main reason santa is so jolly: because he knows where all the bad girls live I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous I'd kill for a nobel peace prize If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving isn't for you If everything is coming your way, your in the wrong lane If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Shikamaru Block: A combination of writers block and sheer laziness. First person: “Just ignore him” Second person: “Yeah evolution did” One by one the pixies steal my sanity I’d be good if I could, but I can’t so I won’t "There's all kinds of 'we'! 'We', 'oui, and my favorite 'WHEEEEEEEEEEE'" -- Cosmo Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity Caution! Water on road when raining Come to the dark side... WE HAVE EDWARD!! Don't think of yourself as an ugly person...just a beautiful monkey Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back SAVE THE EARTH - it's the only planet that has chocolate Love is beautiful, love is painful, and love is undescribable...Damn that's cheesy... better scratch that... and now moving on... What happens when you get scared half to death twice? Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're an idiot If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are aware that so many people now and days pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have crushes on one or more characters from the TV series Naruto, copy and paste this into your profile. So many girls pretend they're something they're not just to fit in, if you're not one of those girls copy and past this into your profile. 98 of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. If you're one of the 2 that would be laughing your ass off, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever started to read a fanfic chapter, got distracted, and forgot to review until another chapter was posted, copy and past this into your profile "I'm bringing sexy back..." If you never even knew sexy was gone, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ECT, copy this onto your profile. You know you're crazy when you know the Men in white by name Mirrors don’t talk, and luckily for you, they don’t laugh It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you! There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom 1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore 2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know 3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does? 4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Just kidding. 5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin' 6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory... 7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you? 8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on? 9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another... Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts. 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms 2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one. 3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches 13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball 14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!" 15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak 19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 20) I will ont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want. 21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. 24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom 25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate. 26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway. 27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" 30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife 32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant. 33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. 34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur. 34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriously 35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell 36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. 38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy. 39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time". TRANSFORMERS COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!! l=lVl=l vs. l\ .M. /l Do YOU remember the nineties? oh shit!!!! i do... that really cant be good... i was born in 93' does that count???? Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if you remember: You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles Did you know...? Kissing is healthy. Bananas are good for period pain. It’s good to cry. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. It’s actually true; boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. It’s impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. Chocolate will make you feel better. Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. A good friend never judges. A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. Boys aren't worth your tears. We all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and... Your wish will be granted. I HAVE READ I \/ go down go down go down go go go go go down ONLY go go go go og go go go go go go down HAVE TO go go go go go go go go go down DO IS go down go down go d \/ GO DOWN heheje NONE OF THE ABOVE (nothing at all) hahahaha lamo * hahaha * hahaha * hahah *haha* AHHHHHahahahahahahahahahah (READ: sucker i got you hahaha) LAMO :P If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever read a 1000pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" song copy this into your profile! If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you can freak someone out just by glaring at them, copy and paste this on your profile If you think Max and Fang should confess their love for each other, copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly # Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. # You will always find something in the last place you look # Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone. # Whatever you want, you can't have, what you can have, you don't want. Quotes "To achieve victory we must mass our forces at the hub of all power and movement. The enemy's 'Center of Gravity'. -Von Clausewitz "Every War Is a Lie" and "All Warfare Is Based On Deception" -Sun Tzu "You'd think the Premier would have figured that out by now, I mean it's obvious." "Yes, but if he was that smart, he wouldn't be a politician." -Grade 9 History Teacher "When there is an energy crisis, it is not the military that feels the pinch. The last drop of oil will be burned by a tank." -Quote from Frontlines: Fuel of War "If this isn't the middle of nowhere, you can probably see it from here." -Mythbusters "He who laughs first gets kicked in the balls for not shutting up." - Unknown Their were a batch of muffins in the oven, one of the muffins said man its hot in here, the second muffin replied, HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN I Love My New Jacket. Its White, It has Long Sleeves, It lets me Hug Myself, I cant Hurt Myself (Unless i headbutt a wall) and It buckles Up Nicley. HEHEHEHE :) I escaped in the laundry cart from the mental institution. It smelled bad, but I did it! Special thanks to the penguins, couldn't have done it without you. How's my ATTITUDE? Call 1-800-BITE-ME!! The doctor said I had multiple personalities...but we don't believe her filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "A Doctor"... What's my mother going to do? Here's a joke for you ..whats the difference between tiger woods and Santa Claus? Santa Claus only has 3 Ho's someone told me to go to hell today, i told them i cant Satan still has a restraining order on me :) Shhhhh the voices in my head are sleeping & they get angry if I wake them up Global Warming will kill everyone. The first one to be killed was my snowman. RIP big guy, we'll all miss ya! ...and then Buffy staked Edward and there was a poof of sparkly dust. The End. Okay, so a 100 odd year old vampire falls in love with a 16 year old girl. Right, Yes. Nothing at all perverted about that if you could read my mind, you would need therapy. i'm sick n tired of gettin told off, for the last time it wasn't me, Drop Dead Fred did it! They have just created a new Barbie Doll. It is called "Divorce Barbie." It comes with all of Ken's stuff! Apparently "The Grim Reaper" Isn't a suitable costume for a Halloween party at an old peoples home some people say I have A.D.D, I say--look there's a chicken When a Telemarketer calls, Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" ha ha suckers..i get a jacket and a bouncy room :P I Have PMS And A Handgun, ANY QUESTIONS ? WOW! Did you see the size of them muffins on New Moon? they were HUGE! I want one! Ouch!! Paper cut (wait and look around) paper cut (in louder voice) I said paper cut (louder voice with angry edge) Damn it Jasper where r u??? Edward: never trust a vampire, trust me Dear Jacob,I win!Edward.Dear Edward, I made out with your wife twice. Now I'm sleeping with your daughter I'd say I win! Love Jacob! "So Edward, you're dating an older chick. That's hot!" Emmett Cullen What is that god awful wet dog smell - Alice Cullen I'm joining the pack tomorrow. Jacobs pack. That's right. be jealous of me. I'm a werewolf and your a MORTAL! the truth is i never really gave up loving u...i just gave up waiting 4 u 2 love me back! :( I watch the ones who loved me fade away.I wonder if it's my fault,and if i had changed things,would that have made them stay? I thought i was over you but the Truth is i get butterflies every time i hear your name, i smile when i look at your pictures, i wish you were mine Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Words that writers occasionally get wrong... Lose & Loose: Lose means you lost something. Loose means something that's not tight. Realize & Realise: Realize is the correct spelling! Realise isn't even a word! 12 Ways To Keep A Normal Level of Insanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sun glasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 4 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates 4 General Ways to Annoy People 4 Ways to Annoy People At An Amusement Park 4 Ways To Annoy People On An Airplane This has got to be one of the most clever DORMITORY: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: ωнєη α gυy sαys yσυя HOT --Before Marriage: I'm just posting them here because I think they hilarious. NO OFFENSE. This blonde is driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field, The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.' The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field, 'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.' The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again. The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling, Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,' They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. One day this blonde calls her friend and says, Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?' The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.' Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table. He studies them for a moment, then studies the box. He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.' She asks, 'Oh, how come?' He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.' A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. How do you drown a blonde? Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye? How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes? Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax? Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home. A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!' The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror. The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. Guy's point of view We don't care if you talk to other guys.We don't care if you're friends with other guys. FUNNY THINGS I FOUND... I did not slap you. I simply high-fived your face. You're my best friend. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You joke, I joke. You're sad, I'm sad. You're happy, I'm happy. You jump off a bridge...I'll miss you!! I told your boyfriend he was gay and he hit me with his purse. Don't mess with me. I've got a gun, a shovel, and a big backyard. Boys are like slinkys. Totally useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs. What happens when you get scared half to death twice?? "Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?" F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit. "Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge." That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast. Ouch! That parked car hit me! Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing There are 2 types of pedestrians; the quick and the dead. I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. Don't tick me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies! Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity just got framed. Some people say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people.'' I think not, because if you sit there and just say BANG, I don't think that would kill too many people. I don't have to be faster than the bear, I just have to be faster than you! Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun Look out! Russel Crow has a phone! (if you heard that he got really mad and threw his phone in a huge crowd and it hit someone in the head!) I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead. Life isn't trying to pass me by, it's trying to run me over! The extiction of the dinosaurs wasn't an accident. Barney came along and they all commited suicide. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you! If you're going to be two-faced, sweetie, then at least make one of them pretty. An idiot is a windowwasher on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is because they both have a common enemy. News casters are people who tell you "Good Evening", then tell you why it's not. Two things are infinate; infinity and human stupidity. MORE FUNNY STUFF I FOUND... You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. Don't worry about the world ending today! It's already tomorrow in Australia! Frienship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's warmth. Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect to get it back. "It's always in the last place you look." Well, duh! If you already found it, why would you keep looking? Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die. Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon! Don't help old ladies across the street. Leave 'em in the middle! Whose cruel idea was it for "lisp" to have an 's' in it? "Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you'd want to watch out for!" If I throw a stick, will you go away? If you die on an elevator, make sure you press the up button. We're tighter than a fat guy in spandex! Boy are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable! Good friends hand you a tissue for your tears, but Best friends call him and say, "Seven days.." Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run; he hates that. Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door. Failure isn't an option; it's pretty much a certainty. We can't all be heroes. Someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. Have you ever noticed that the words in therapist are actually The-rapist? "Officer, I swear to Drunk Im not God." You Might Be a Blond If... You tried to drown a fish. Someone told you your cellphone died, so you buried it. You look for something, only to realize it was in your hand the whole time. You have complete faith in a doctor whose office plants have died. You locked yourself in your own car. You can't fix your brakes, so you make the horn louder instead. You gave an ADHD kid markers. You accidently drowned because there was a scratch & sniff at the bottom of a pool. You call someone to for help because your T.V. isn't working, only you realize it wasn't plugged up in the first place. Guy's Point of View Girls: I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT Give the nice guys a chance Holdin Hands- Cuddling- Movies- Loving each other- Laying below the stars- guys: no grabbing!! Guys repost this if you agree. Girls repost this if you think it's cute. Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this . Now copy and repost this; if you don't you'll have bad relationships for 69 years. By 12 am tonight your one true love will realize how much they want you. If you don't repost this, you will have bad luck for your entire life!! repost as: Guy's point of view It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. Sticks and stones may break my bones but my fist will break your jaw! I like the word spork. I run with scisors. It makes me feel dangerous. “He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.” “This isn’t just goodbye, this is I can’t stand you.” The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER. If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you. Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask directions. Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up. All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies Boys are like slinkies; practically useless, and yet it is SO amusing to watch them fall down the stairs!! Smile... it confuses people. My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone. Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter "Insanity is my only means of relaxation." Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons! If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you think that Vampire Academy series are the best books known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes about twilight, copy this into your profile I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. "Music is like candy--you throw away the rappers." Who or who?: Vampire Academy characters: Lissa or Rose? Rose Dimitri or Christian? Dimitri Rose or Dimitri? Rose Rose or Adrian? Rose Adrian or Dimitri? Dimitri Tasha or Rose? Rose (in my eyes Tasha is a biatch) Janine or Rose Rose Mason or Eddie? Mason Tatiana or Victor? NEITHER! Mason or Dimitri? Dimitri Eddie or Dimitri? Dimitri Tasha or Dimitri? Dimitri Dimitri or Janine? Dimitri Dimitri or Lissa? Dimitri Gravity is my greatest enemy o.0 Looks at homework That's it! Screw college, I'm going into the fast food business! It's not a lie! It's just an exaggeration of a non-fiction statement... Farmers Life insurance: does that mean you get paid when you die? My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was gooooood When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. Happiness is like a disease, contagious by touch...POKE! :D Taps persons head Do I hear an echo? I'm not insane!!...Just normally this way... SELL YOUR SOUL...for a cupcake! I'm 100 focus-...ooooo look at the pretty butterfly...! It's not that I dislike you...I just...hate people Crushes are like puppies; cute when they follow you around... but when you throw a stick they won't leave!! When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Life was so simple when boys had cooties I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tasty! Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both. I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. I'm right 98 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3? I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did." "It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with." "I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?" Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together." "Education is important, school however, is another matter." "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it." "I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it." I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC ║██║ If you think MI Vampires are better than uh..Twilight ones, Copy and paste this to your profile If you are a Vampire Addict, Copy and Paste this to your Profile If you truely believe, there is a John Quinn or Ash Redfern or James Rasmussen or Simon Lewis or a Jace Lightwood somewhere for you (doesn't mean his name has to be the same, but I hope it is!) copy this into your profile. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile If you believe that Vamps(Like Si) exist, copy and paste this into your profile Quotes!:) "Stay away from my blades. In fact, don't touch any of my weapons without my permission." Jesus!" Luke exclaimed. "That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year." "...Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?' “I don’t want to be a man,” said Jace. “I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.” "I'll just have them change demonology text books from ‘almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec.He prefers his monsters really, really extinct. Will that make you happy?" "Meanwhile," Simon added, "I wanted to tell you that lately I've been cross-dressing. Also I'm sleeping with your mom. I thought you should know." Simon trying to get Clary's attention in City of Bones "What's this?" He demanded, looking from Clary, to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing here. "It's a girl" Jace said, recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one."-Jace and Alec in City of Bones "Pretty soon the only people without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor. And he smells like Windex." "At least you know he's still available." -Clary and Simon in City of Bones "I'm pure at heart, it repells the dirt"-Isabelle in City of Ashes "That's why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don't say anything, they just nod. The nod means, 'I' am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass,' but they don't say anything because they're Wolverine and Magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain" -Simon in City of Bones "Patience grasshopper," said Maia. "Good things come to those who wait." "I always thought that it was 'Good things come to those who do the wave'", said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life." "Confused is a good word for it."-Maia, Simon and and Jace in City of Glass "Look you can date whoever you want and I will totally support you. I am all about support. Support is my middle name." "So that's why you never told me your middle name. I figured it was something embarrasing."-Clary and Simon in City of Glass "So technically, even though Jace isn't actually related to you, you have kissed your brother"-Simon to Clary in City of Glass "So it's true. You can walk in sunlight" "If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know."-Jace and Simon in City of Glass "You look happy. And a good thing for you that she does" "Is this the part where you tell me if I hurt her, you'll kill me?" "No. If you hurt Clary, she's quite capable of killing you herself. Possibly with a variety of weapons."-Simon and Jace in City of Glass "I'm going to offer you some advice. I see that you are working this vampire angle with some success. And kudos. Lots of girls love that sensitive - undead thing. But I'd drop that whole musician angle if I were you. Vampire rock stars are played out, and besides, you can't possibly be very good." "I don't suppose there's any chanceyou could reconsider the part where you don't like me?" "Enough , both of you, you can't be complete jerks to eachother forever." "Technically," Said Simon, "I can."-Jace, Simon and Clary in City of Glass "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for"-Jace on City of Bones "Vials of holy water, blessed knives, steel and silver blades," Jace said, piling the weapons on the floor beside him, "electrum wire—not much use at the moment, but it's always good to have spare—silver bullets, charms of protection, crucifixes, stars of David—" "Jesus," Said Clary "I doubt he'd fit."-Jace and Clary in City of Bones " Remember when we were back at the hotel and you said if we make it out alive you'll dress up in a nurse outfit and give me a spongebath" "Actually Simon said he'll give you the spongebath" "As soon as I'm on my feet, handsome." "I knew we should have left you as a rat."-Jace, Clary and Simon in City of Bones Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane." "They didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down." "Really?" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed." Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down."-Magnus and Malachi in City of Glass "‘Well, I’m not kissing the mundane,’ said Jace. ‘I’d rather stay down here and rot.’ ‘Forever?’ said Simon. ‘Forever’s an awfully long time.’ Jace raised his eyebrows. ‘I knew it,’ he said. ‘You want to kiss me, don’t you?’-Simon and Jace in City of Ashes "Don't order any of the faerie food," said Jace, looking at her over the top of his menu. "It tends to make humans a little crazy. One minute you're munching a faerie plum, the next minute you're running naked down Madison Avenue with antlers on your head. Not," he added hastily, "that this has ever happened to me."-Jace to Clary in City of Bones "Is this the part where you start tearing stripes of your shirt to bind my wounds?" "If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked."-Clary and Jace in City of Bones "Do you think Hodge will want any soup?" Isabelle asked "No one wants any soup."Said Jace. "I want some soup," Simon said. "No, you don't, you just want to sleep with Isabelle." Simon was appalled. "That is not true." "How flattering," Isabelle murmured into the soup, but she was smirking, "Oh, yes it is, go ahead and ask her--then she can turn you down and the rest of us can get on with our lives while you fester in misrable humiliation." He snapped his fingers. "Hurry up, mundie boy, we've got work to do."-Isabelle, Jace and Simon in City of Bones "I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind to get drunk and pass out in some gutter, I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow."- Jace, talking about Simon, (to pretty much no one) in City of Ashes "Enourmous?" Said Jace, "Did you just call me fat?" "It was an anology." "I am not fat."-Jace and the Inquisitor in City of Ashes. "Less than five slices isn't a meal. It's a snack. Does this mean you're going to wolf out and eat me?" "Certainly not, you would be stringy and hard to digest." "But kosher." "I'll be sure to point any Jewish lycanthropes your way."- Simon and Luke in City of Ashes. "I don't know," Clary said, "Other crack teams get bat boomerangs and wall-crawling powers; we get the Aquatruck." "If you don't like it, Nephilim," Came Magnus's voice, "you're welcome to see if you can walk on water."- Clary and Magnus-In City of Ashes Maia snorted "I'm from New Jersey. I was born in toxic sludge."-Maia to Clary in City of Ashes. "That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the childcatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. No, probably not."-Simon in City of Ashes! Okay! I have to actually force myself to stop with the quotes, because they are so much fun! No really stop!Maybe just one more quote! "Maybe we should all have code names." True Avenged Sevenfold Fans Funny enough... all that above is true LMAO Vampire Academy shit Who introduced you to the books? Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? Are you most looking forward to: Blood Promise, Spirit Bound or Succubus Shadows? What's your dream ending to the series? Favorites: Who is your favorite character? Who's your favorite Dhampir? What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories? What was your favorite Rose and Adrian moment? How about your favorite Lissa and Rose moment? What was your favorite adventure/battle Which book cover was your favorite? Are these books among your favorite books of all? This or That? Vampire Academy or Frostbite? Frostbite or Shadow Kiss? Shadow Kiss or Vampire Academy? Blood Promise or Spirit Bound? Who do you want to see Rose with most: Dimitri or Adrian? Who do you like more: Rose or Dimitri? Rose or Adrian? Rose or Lissa? Lissa or Adrian? Rose or Mia? Christian or Lissa? Christian or Dimitri? Kirova or Alberta? Adrian or Christian? Christian. Janine Hathaway or Tasha Ozera? Lissa or Mia? Eddie or Mason? Anna or Vladimir? Adrian or Mason? Eddie or Christian? Eddie or Adrian? Who's the better villain: Blonde Strigoi (Nathan) or Victor? Moroi or Dhampir? The Saddest Story Never Told Videos: Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5E4ebAe1ZI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd-rvXXlPx8 Vladimir Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKBouSdGZRs Strange Angels shit: I am a fan of the graves and dru pairing they just fit so well together! I plan on making a graves/dru fic eventually and in honor of it i made this poster sorta thing GRAVES VIDEO! Read the description so you know what its about! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foBy8MwaMsc Dru/Graves Enjoy! Criminal Minds shit: Favorite Quotes: JJ: about the incredible Sir Kneighf Please don’t tell me you have a crush on a fictional character. -- -- -- -- -- -- Blackwolf: to Gideon You look like a college professor. to Reid You look like his student. to Hotchner You look like FBI. (Garcia doesn't want to meet the Dawes) -- (Garica calls Morgan on his cell phone) Hotchner: Nice shot -- -- Elle: What... what is the most sinful place on campus? Morgan: Oh, one last thing. Look up the words "sexy" and "brilliant" in that computer of yours, and tell me what you come up with. -- -- Garcia: Brace yourselves. I'm going to teach you the meaning of L.U.S.T. -- -- Morgan: (examining camera surveillance footage) Well, can't you get a better angle? -- -- -- -- -- Garcia: Morgan? Reid: They didn't care about race of hair colour it's men that do. Garcia: Hi there. I'm Penelope. Rossi: She's good. Established repore when Morgan and Reid couldn't. Favorite Quotes Why do bad things happen to good people? Because it helps them to see how to make this world a better place. Because that’s what separates the truly good people from those who only think they are good people. Bad things happen to good people because it is a necessary part of making a good person great. --Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. -James Dean --Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll --Google is your friend (LOL) --Work like you don't need the money, love like your heart has never been broken, and dance like no one is watching. -Aurora Greenway --If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I would use my last breath to say I love you --Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever.. and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you. --A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Walter Winchell --Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. John Gardner --Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow Don't walk behind me, I may not lead Just walk beside me and be my friend --Live life as you will die tomorrow and dream forever --I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. Jack Handey Stop planning your life, and let it plan itself. Quit trying to find the perfect boy & let him find you. If you dont want drama then dont talk *. Things are only as complicated as you make them. --If you try and don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you did --Some mistakes are just to fun to make only once --Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on --Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live. --Seven days without laughter makes one weak. --Nobody really cares if you're miserable so you may as well be happy --Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life! --If I had to choose between you and a smile, I'd choose you because without u I can't smile My favorite quotes or sentences are: (Vampire Academy) (House of Night) (Twilight) I dont have anymore favorite quotes from books thats about it. 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile. Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum? People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile. If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile. sarcasm; my anti drug. OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird! let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook. yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid. i speak fluent sarcasm. yea im one of those crazy overly obsessive teenage girls. bob tried to take my twilight books. bob isnt with us anymore. i am a twilightaholic. Regular lions say ROAARR. Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU Sad lions say roooaaar. Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN! you are obsessed with fanfiction, post this. I don't obsess, I think intensely! IF YOU LOVE EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN THEN COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!! "Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda." I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned. "The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. -Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me. I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me. Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. "Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you." Hidan: There, there, Dei-chan...kisses forehead I borowed the above topic from Kurotorachan's profile If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. Copy and paste this poem in your profiles if you are against child abuse: My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. okay, who gots shivers from that poem? i did. OMGOMGOMG DID ANYONE ELSE START HYPERVENTILATING NEAR THE END OF LAST SACRIFICE? I actually almost passed out because I couldn't breathe. And, I WAS SOOOOOO RIGHT ABOUT THE MURDERER AND THE ILLEGITIMATE CHILD! WOOT WOOT! I have just finished the Mortal Instruments series, and OMG it was amazing :D I FREAKING ADORE JACE WAYLAND! He's awesome :) I'm done reading Clockwork Angel, the first book in the Infernal Devices series, which is the prequel series to the Mortal Instruments. I love Will soo much, Jace is so similar to him :D it must run in their blood to be so freaking amazing ;) am 100% Team Dimitri :) I mean, he's beautiful! Jace Wayland and Will Herondale are my life :)Ok, who else HATES Bella? I know I do :D I hate Jacob too :P Favorite VA quotes (Ah, there's so many): "No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I'd put ketchup on a taco. But seriously, we'd been out of salsa, so what else was I supposed to do?" -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise "Oh God, I'm Zmey's daughter. Zmey junior. Zmeyette, even." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise "You're beautiful in battle. Like an avenging angel come to deliver the justice of heaven." -Dimitri Belikov, Spirit Bound "If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." -Dimitri Belikov, Vampire Academy "I love you, Roza. I'll always be there for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." -Dimitri Belikov, Shadow Kiss "Oh my God. A kind word from Rose Hathaway. I can die a happy man." -Adrian Ivashkov, Shadow Kiss "Did you know that Victor Dashkov is sitting on your bed?" -Adrian Ivashkov, Spirit Bound "Rose is in red, never in blue. Sharp as a thorn, fights like one too." -Adrian Ivashkov, Frostibite? "I love pity parties. I wish I'd brought the hats." -Christian Ozera, Vampire Academy "If you weren't so psychotic, you'd be fun to hang around." -Christian Ozera, Shadow Kiss Dimitri: "Why did you come here?" "The mental and physical pain were starting to drag me under, and with my last effort, I wet my lips choked out another gem from my Russian vocabulary. "Pazvaneet?" The woman looked back at me in surprise. I wasn't sure if I had the word right. I might have just asked for a pay phone instead of a cell phone-or maybe I'd asked for a giraffe-but hopefully the message came through regardless." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise "I shivered, trying to imagine myself as one of them. Red rings around my pupils. Tanned skin gone pale. I couldn’t picture it, and I supposed I’d never have to actually see myself if it happened. Strigoi cast no reflections. It would make doing my hair a real pain in the ass." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise "I focused on him (Adrian) as hard as I could while I waited for sleep to come, as though my thoughts might act as some sort of bat signal and summon him." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise "It occurred to me with startling clarity that I was making out with a Strigoi. And that was . . . weird." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise "Even I make mistakes. I know it's hard to believe-kind of suprises me myself-but I guess it has to happen. It's probably some kind of karmic way to balance out the universe. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to have one person so full of awesomeness." -Rose Hathaway, Shadow Kiss "Now rumors of my humiliation were trickling down to the lower campuses. If I walked over to the elementary dorms, some six-year-old would probably tell me she'd heard that I killed Christian." -Rose Hathaway, Shadow Kiss Mason: "Belikov is a sick, evil man and should be thrown into a pit of rabid vipers for the offense he committed against you this morning." "I had left a body in the park, but seriously, what was I supposed to do? Drag him back to my hotel and tell the bellhop my friend had had too much to drink?" -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise "Yeva sat in a rocking chair and appeared to be the world’s most stereotypical grandmother as she knit a pair of socks. Except most grandmothers didn’t look like they could incinerate you with a single glance." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise "I fought against her, trying to mount some kind of defense, but it was like fighting Dimitri on crack." -Rose Hathaway, Vampire Academy "And then, suddenly, he (Dimitri) was there, charging down the hallway like Death in a cowboy duster." -Rose Hathaway, Vampire Academy Janine: "You two have a lot in common." Rose: "Couldn’t Lissa have healed that black eye away?" "I know how devastated you must be to miss me. But leave a message, and I’ll try to ease your agony as soon as possible." -Adrian Ivashkov, Blood Promise "If only it were that easy. You forget: I have an addictive personality. I'm addicted to you. Somehow I think you could do all sorts of bad things to me, and I'd still come back to you." -Adrian Ivashkov, Spirit Bound "I can't wait until this show gets on the road. You and me are going to have so much fun, Rose. Picking out curtains, doing each other's hair, telling ghost stories . . ." -Christian Ozera, Shadow Kiss Rose: "Do you have, like, a T. rex you're going to feed?" "Dreams, dreams. I walk them; I live them. I delude myself with them. It's a wonder I can spot reality anymore." -Adrian Ivashkov, Spirit Bound Dimitri: "Roza . . . Why? Why did you have to be so difficult? We could've spent eternity together . . ." Rose: "I . . . I know. I know it's not him. I know he's a monster, but we can save him . . . if we can do what Robert was telling us about . . ." "Dimitri must have grown tired of waiting for me. He held on to my shoulder and jerked me toward him, triumph flaring in those red eyes. In the sort of space we were in, this was probably all he needed to kill me. This time, he had what he wanted." -Rose Hathaway, Spirit Bound Dimitri: "I told you. I told you I'd find you." "The shadow-kissed don't have the gift of life. Only the spirit-blessed. The question is: Who's capable of doing it? Gentle Girl or Drunken Sod? My wager would be on Gentle Girl." -Robert Doru, Spirit Bound Adrian: "You're lying." Robert: "A bond . . . I've almost forgotten what it was like . . . but Alden. I've never forgotten Alden . . ." "He's hot - like, the kind of hot that makes you stop walking on the street and get hit by traffic." -Rose Hathaway, Frostbite "Who have you brought, Victor? Who are these children? Two spirit users and . . . one of the shadow-kissed?" -Robert Doru, Spirit Bound "I had to give him credit for stepping up to a lost cause, though considering our sketchy relationship, I still wasn't sure why he had. My biggest theories were that he didn't trust royals and that he felt fatherly obligation. In that order." -Rose Hathaway, Last Sacrifice Rose: "So what are you doing here? I know it's not just a fatherly visit. You never do anything without a reason." "Sometimes the greatest tests of our strength are situations that don't seem so obviously dangerous. Sometimes surviving is the hardest thing of all." -Abe Mazur, Last Sacrifice "Abe had not earned his reputation as zmey—the serpent—for nothing. He was always calculating, always looking for an advantage. It seemed my tendency toward crazy plots ran in the family." -Rose Hathaway, Last Sacrifice Rose: "Stop it! Do not use compulsion on me. You're my friend. Friends dont use their powers on each other" Adrian: "Studying’s overrated. Just find someone smart to copy off." Rose: "A spoon?" Christian: "In spite of everything, even with Avery--" Rose: "Hey, Mia." Adrian: "And, I can visit people in their dreams." Rose: "I hate it when you're the sane one. That's my job." Rose: ". . . I have to kill him." Christian: "You guys are shopping?" he asked, glancing from Lissa to Adrian. "Getting in a little girl time?" Favorite Mortal Instruments Quotes: Jace: "Jesus! What's your problem?" Jace: "Can I help you with something?" Clary: "How did you know I had Shadowhunter blood? Was there some way you could tell?" "Usually I'm remarkably good-natured. Try me on a day that doesn't end in y" -Jace Wayland, City of Ashes "Yes. I was trained to be an evil mastermind from a young age. Sterilising flowerbeds, pulling the wings off flies, I was covering that stuff in kindergarten. Good thing he decided to fake his own death before we got to the raping and pillaging or no-one would be safe" -Jace Wayland, City of Ashes "His secrets? Oh yes, my father's terrified that I'll tell you he's always wanted to be a ballerina!" -Jace Wayland, City of Ashes Isabelle: "How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?" Jace: "What's an eBay?" Clary: "You can hang your head out the window, if you like" "Lately I've been crossdressing. Also. I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know" -Simon Lewis, City of Bones Jace: "I am a man and real men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone woman, and bring me something brown." Favorite Infernal Devices Quotes: Gabriel: "You know, there was a time when I thought we could be friends, Will." Will: "That was enterprising." "Beware Nephilim. As you slay others, so shall you be slain. Your angel cannot protect you against that which neither God nor the devil had made. An army born neither of heaven nor hell. Beware the hand of man, beware." -Miranda (automaton), Clockwork Angel Tessa: "Won't we excite some sort of comment, hiding in here like this? The others-the vampires-I'm sure they were staring at us as we came in." Tessa: "They're still looking at him. At Will, I mean." Will: "Nice place to live, isn't it? Let’s hope they left something behind other than filth. Forwarding addresses, a few severed limbs, a prostitute or two . . ." "If you have a soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. Whatever the color, the shape, the design of the shade that conceals it, the flame inside the lamp remains the same. You are that flame." -Jem Carstairs, Clockwork Angel Jem (to Tessa): "Must you go? I was rather hoping you'd stay and be a ministering angel, but if you must go, you must." Will: "Well, she's not responding to my advances, so she must be dead." "Let me give you a piece of advice. The handsome young fellow who's trying to rescue you from a hideous fate is never wrong. Not even if he says the sky is purple and made of hedgehogs." -Will Herondale, Clockwork Angel Jem: "Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you could breed a race of cannibal ducks?" Tessa: "One must always be careful of books and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us." Will: "I had such plans for this evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower selling child who asked me for two pence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me." FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. or Mrs. BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting in the cell next to you saying, "Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend FRIENDS: Will say you can do better BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live" FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry FRIENDS: Will help you move BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move the body FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS:Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"I'M HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough BESTFRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his but and maybe even scar him for life (hehe) FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them BEST FRIENDS: kick your butt and all's forgiven FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you Friends: Would comfort you if you got raped. Best friends: The rapist's body would be in the gutter shortly. Friends: At your house, they ask politely if they can use your computer to check their e-mail. Best friends: They get into your FanFiction account that you provided them with your username and password to do so long ago, and post hilarious fanfics under your name, just for you. Friends: Are sometimes bored when they're around you. Best friends: Think you're the most hilarious and fun person ever. Friends: Would feel uneasy going out for dinner with you if their parents didn't approve. Best friends: Would go cliff-diving if you suggested it. Friends: Will help you up when you fall Best friends: Will laugh at you Friends: Will tell you to look out for the pot hole. Best friends: Will push you at the pot hole then laugh at you even more. FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit! - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ You Know You're a Book Addict If: you get more excited about a book release then you do about your birthday. You can randomly open to a page in a book and know exactly what's going on. If you have had 3 hours sleep because you've stayed up to read a book until 4 A.M., and then got back up at 7 to continue reading. - You write fanfictions about the book because you are desperately awaiting the next one. - You try to get all of your friends hooked on them like you are. - Everything reminds you of a book you've read. - You quote random lines all the time from your favourite book. - You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. - You've gotten incredibly bored in class and debated, in your mind, on doing something your favourite character would do to escape that class. - You've got a book piratically memorized. - You've read a book more than five times. - You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than a day. (I've done that multiple times. Actually my record is 3 in one day. Yeah I constantly read a lot.) - You've planned a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. - You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. - You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional - You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. - You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock. - You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human. - you think Zeus is angry because of a thunderstorm. - Your school books have 'VA :)' scribbled in them on nearly every page. - You've attempted to control an element when no one was looking. - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ She said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town. - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ Love these sayings as they are so close to the things my friends would do it's actually scary: Friends will comfort you when he rejects you. Best friends will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" Friends will be there for you when he breaks up with you. Best friends will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." Friends helps you up when you fall. Best friends keep on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" Friends help you find your prince. Best friends kidnap him, then bring him to you and forces him to marry you til death do you part. Friends will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. Best friends will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" Friends will offer you a drink. Best friends dump theirs on you. Friends will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. Best friends will throw you a tampon and push you in. Friends give you their umbrella in the rain. Best friends take yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" Friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" Friends will never ask for anything to eat or drink. Best friends will help themselves and are the reason why you have no food. Friends would bail you out of jail. Best friends would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN! we messed up!" Friends have never seen you cry. Best friends wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. Friends borrow your stuff for a few days then will give it back. Best friends lose your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." Friends only know a few things about you. Best friends could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... Friends will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. Best friends will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. Friedns would knock on your front door. Best friends will right in and say "I'M HOME." Friends are only through high school/college. Best friends are for life. Friends will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. Best friends will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!" - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ Just some Quotes: - Sometimes you make me so mad i wanna throw you in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you. - just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe - she's really good at lying - - After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone." - I'm sick of people having a near death experience saying 'I saw the light,' do you know the first thing the paramedics do when they first arrive? They shine a light in your eyes! That's not God, it's a torch for crying out loud - Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from - There is only two things you can be sure there will in life. Death and taxes - Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt you - "I hate chavs." "You hate people." "Yes, but chavs aren't people." - A friend - Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tasty! - P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy. - BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. - Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS - BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool! - There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. - Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - - What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? - Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. - You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. - A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - He who laughs last didn't get it. - When there's a will, I want to be in it. - Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. - The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. - When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. - Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. - Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure - Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece. - At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote - We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. - There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. - Sometimes i wish i was the girl in those stories - Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. - Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery - Silence is golden, duct tape is silver - So ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style you wont hear me surrender. - What fun is it being cool if you cant wear a sombrero. - I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. - When im older... and my little girl asks who my first love was i want to be able to point across the room and say... he is sitting right there. - RAP= Retards Attempting Poetry - Just when i find the keys to success somebody changes the locks. - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ - l_ ────( )( )( )────( )( )( )- _ ɪƒ ƴσυ'ʀє αʟσηє, Some Amazing Quotes Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect - and I didn't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean- (Bob Marley) A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left- (Marylin Monroe) "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." -Aristotle Young people are in a condition like permanent intoxication, because youth is sweet and they are growing. – Aristotle A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. - Nelson Mandela Because you are in control of your life. Don't ever forget that. You are what you are because of the conscious and subconscious choices you have made. - Barbara Hall If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane. - Jimmy Buffett Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter if only we could prevent girls from being girls.” -- Anne Frank “The problem with people is that they're only human.” -- Bill Watterson “Words are a wonderful form of communication, but they will never replace kisses and punches” -- Ashleigh Brilliant How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said.” -- Victor Hugo Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.”-- Ed Hird |
