To my fellow authors and readers,

All the important info that you need is going to be up here! So you don't have to scroll down and look for it all.

I now have a Twitter. I got it to for the sole purpose of voting for the Voice, and OppositeWorlds. But I have decided it would also be an easy way to get information about my stories out. So if you want updates about stories and such you can follow me. No pressure. I will probably be able to get the info out through my chapters as well. (I hope)

https://twitter.com/JessicaFik1

XXX

Stories-

Luck- On Hold/ Discontinued

Kids & Kunai- Hiatus

TEN SURE SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN OBSESSED FANFICTION WRITER

1. When you ask yourself a question as one character and respond as another one.
2. When you begin to compare what a friend says to something one of your characters would say.
3. When you are talking to a friend and you suddenly scream, “Oh my god! I just got the greatest idea for a story of mine!” and your idea has NOTHING to do with what you were talking about.

4. When you lock yourself in your room, crank up the music, and act out an entire story…and then forget everything you thought of.

5. When you are listening to a song and go “Oh my god! This song is exactly what (Insert story here) is about!”

6. When you run around the house dancing and thinking of an idea, acting all crazy, and write the scene that turns out to be a very sad, calm scene.

7. When you fear to daydream because you are afraid of your characters hunting you down and killing you for the torture you put them through.

8. When you can’t fall asleep without thinking about what is going to happen in your next chapter.

9. When you begin to in vision your own version of someone else’s fanfic.

10. When you think out loud and start giggling and jumping around talking to yourself when you come up with a good idea.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU...If you want this kind of guy, copy and paste this into your profile.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You’re just jealous because the voices talk to me and not you!

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 69696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"

--Advice--
Dont ask for a kiss, take one
If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.

--Requirements--
Post this again after reading!!
Or you will have a bad year of Relationships.

Did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.

You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.

I saw this on another profile and it was just too tempting:

Best Friend Quotes-

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.

Your friend will call you a retard but your best friend will be there acting like one with you.

A friend will wipe your tears if a guy rejects you, but a best friend will go to him and say, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend would want you to choose her over him, but a best friend wouldn't make you choose.

A friend will be there for you when you get a hurt but a best friend will be in the hospital with you saying I'm not going to let you go through this by yourself.

A Friend Is Someone Who Will Bail You out of Jail, but Your Best Friend Is the One Sitting next to you Saying 'THAT WAS AWESOME, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!'

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend keeps walking and say "Walk much dumbass?

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes yours and says "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

Friend will ask you why your crying but a best friend already had a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry!

Friends will say "Well you deserve better!" but best friends will prank call him and say "You die in seven days!"

Best friends don't let you do stupid things...alone.

Best friends are gods ways of apologizing for our families.

Best friends are the siblings god forgot to give us.

Best friends are there for you even if you refuse to talk to them. Because they know, deep down, the silence is killing you.

Only best friends tell each other useless information.

True friends are those that are aware of how stupid you are, have experienced it first hand, and still choose to be seen with you in public.

Friends buy you lunch...best friends eat yours.

You know you've got the GREATEST friends when the only time they make you cry is when your laughing too hard!

You know who your best friend is when the whole school is talking about your drunken kiss with Jason, and she's talking about the price of salami in China.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Friends are like Ivy on the wall, together they stand and together they fall.

Friends are like rainbows, They brighten up your life once you've been through a storm.

A best friend is the one that can look at you when you have the biggest smile on your face and still know that something is still wrong!

She's my best friend you break her heart, I'll break your face!

I use to be normal, until I met the losers I now call my friends!

A best friend is someone who walks in while the rest of the world walks out!

Inside jokes Midnight calls Crazy nights = best friends

A best friend is a girl you can call in the middle of the night saying you killed someone and she'd say "Where should we hide the body?"

Sometimes I'm clueless and clumsy but I've got friends who love me!

Best friends are people who know your slow, stupid, and messy and yet they still don't care to be seen in public with you because there're idiots too!

My friends are people that would spend hours trying to drowned a fish but I love them to death!

Awareness (Stories/Poems)-

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, paste this in your profile:

I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made, My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy, Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong. Or else I'm locked up, All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone, The house is dark. My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just. One whipping tonight, Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car, My daddy is back. From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse
My name he calls, I press myself, Against the wall. I try and hide
From his evil eyes, I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault. That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more, I finally get free, And I run for the door. He's already locked it
And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me, Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late. His face has been twisted, Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain
Again and again, Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops
And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor. My name is May
And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'