sexykittykatlady
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Joined 01-14-12, id: 3628650, Profile Updated: 07-11-12

Jesus had no servents, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today...

Be honored to serve such a leader who loves us.

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ His son...

Then copy and past this on your profile.

If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair!).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

FAKE VS. REAL

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

REAL FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar, Samishi Destiny, Silverstar's Shadow, oxIrishBella14xo, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, RainLily13, InaLaInu, SilverWolfAshes, soulstealer55, AngelofFluffiness,bluenian98, JFCP, sexykittykatlady

IF YOU LOVE FANFICTION, copy and paste this onto your profile.

if u are smart ur a nerd
if ur a true nerd u have suspenders
if u have suspenders u r amazingly kewl

put this on your profile if u r kewl

Month One

Mommy,
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls, OR TEXTS, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.
That it can't wait till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.
Let us pay for you! Dont 'feel bad', we enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you'.
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for who you are and not what you are.
Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. Or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful' I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand I'm not saying I wouldn't like it either... ;- )
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!
Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect!
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and say 'I love you'...and actually mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it's cute.

Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this,
so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this.

The Girl:

I'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics.

I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something.

I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me.

I'm the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not.

I'm the girl that walks like I am proud even if I have toilet paper stuck on my shoes.

I'm the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side.

I'm the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone.

BUT I'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse.I'm the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance.

I'm the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad and I like it that way.

I'm the girl who acts shy one second and the next I will be laughing like an idot.

I'm the girl that people call "Bitch" and "Freak" "Mean" and "Weird" but I take that as a compliment.

I'm the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and I write.

I'm the girl that hasn't been asked out at all.

I'm the girl who isn't a people person but I am when it comes to friends.

I'm also the girl they call "best friends"

What i want some day:

True love

Married

Happy lifestyle

Good friends

People that love me

In all:

A Perfect Life

But...:

It wont happen.

I can always dream.

Dreams aren't real.

Dreams don't come true they say.

Now i have to make the choice;

Do i stay in a dream, or wake up and see real life?

real life:

well true love?wat would be true love? cause crazy people say raping little girls is "true love".

marrige? thats resonable but easy to get hard to keep.

happy lifestyle? just be proud of who u r. crazy people think thier fine.

good friends? friends fade. crazys kill their friends.

people that love us? only way to make sure they love u is to make sure they aint lying

dream world:

perfect house

perfect husand/wife

perfect kids

perfect job

perfect people

perfect everything

everything u hold dear fake

i want real life

you?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Lethal Weapon by VictoriaPyrrhi reviews
Maka's a detective on a mission, and nothing is going to get in her way. AU! Eventual M and Soul/Maka. Warning for language. *Updated and edited for grammar, awkwardness, consistency...that weird way I used to do dialog and my inability to stick with a tense. The story itself is mostly the same, but I hope that you take a moment to give it a reread and enjoy the new chapter!*
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 105,733 - Reviews: 386 - Favs: 487 - Follows: 581 - Updated: 6/23/2018 - Published: 12/8/2011 - Black Star, Maka A., Soul Eater, Tsubaki N.
Nine to Life by Apoc326 reviews
Now that Soul and Maka have realized their feelings for one another, they have to deal with the consequences of their new relationship, including: pregnancy, fatherhood, motherhood, hormones and making it all work. Sequel to "Your Guardian Soul".
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 189,368 - Reviews: 437 - Favs: 408 - Follows: 424 - Updated: 4/24/2018 - Published: 7/9/2011 - [Soul Eater, Maka A.]
The Undeniable Truth by DangerousFlower reviews
What happens when Misaki is faced with her true feelings for Usui? Will Usui help her realize them? When faced with certain obstacles, will they strive to keep their relationship? Usui x Misaki *Rated M for Content* Lemons!
Maid Sama! - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 52,800 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 346 - Updated: 4/22/2015 - Published: 8/21/2010 - Misaki A., T. Usui
When Wrong Things Turn Right by bluebloodedphantom reviews
We don't like each other, true; but, we don't hate each other as well. This is a story about how we're suddenly tied to each other. Our crazy marriage. Sweet baby shinigami... AU *rated M for stuff*
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 126,073 - Reviews: 630 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 3/18/2015 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Maka A., Soul Eater - Complete
A Summer Vacation Like No Other by TurquoiseShine reviews
The Soul Eater gang encounter awkward and embarrassing situations during their short vacation trip. Contains crude humor. ALMOST COMPLETE.
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 102,666 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 7/3/2014 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Maka A., Soul Eater
Sandseas and Flame Filled Skies by SunshineSong reviews
Ties now severed from the Navy, former Naval Captain Maka Albarn is separated from the Pirates she inadvertently befriended during her adventures of the past year. 7 months after her resignation, she receives a letter from one of her now scattered friends. Now she must embark on a new journey alone, into the Farlands. In search of what she lost as a child. AU! MXS. Sequel to HSGS.
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,208 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 369 - Updated: 12/29/2013 - Published: 7/21/2012 - Maka A., Soul Eater
Run For The Money by Sunbeam Tiger reviews
Maka Albarn finds herself in an awkward situation. A situation where she is being blackmailed into being Soul Evans' personal "assistant" AU, rated for language and future lemon
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,007 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 9/23/2013 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Maka A., Soul Eater
Worlds Apart by SimplyPocky reviews
Spirit accumulates a large debt, one he cannot pay off alone, forcing Maka to have to take up work at ChupaCabra's. She's willing to do what's necessary to earn the money as long as that doesn't require selling her body. But what happens when Soul Evans appears, offering to clear her debt if she agrees to be his personal toy?
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 37,558 - Reviews: 348 - Favs: 288 - Follows: 395 - Updated: 12/31/2012 - Published: 6/28/2012 - Maka A., Soul Eater
What Once Was by Dazzy Dizzie reviews
Misaki left Japan to live with her relatives in America leaving Usui alone and available. After a year she comes back as a whole new person. Her style and attitude has been twisted and changed. The only that hasn't change is her love for Usui. /REWRITTEN/:/HIATUS/
Maid Sama! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 27,691 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 12/15/2012 - Published: 4/4/2012 - Misaki A., T. Usui
Prom: Soul Eater Style! by Princess Of Badassia reviews
Maka just wants to sit at home and watch movies with the girls, Liz has other ideas! Tsubaki and Patty tag along for the ride. A few key plot twists and Maka's feeling in control, but what happens when a slow dance makes her heart pound? SoulXMaka Lemon TsubakiXBlackstar OOC Tsubaki and LizXKid
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,367 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 9/11/2012 - Published: 4/29/2012 - Soul Eater, Maka A.
Snuggle Bunny by Bitter November reviews
Soul Eater Evans has a dirty little secret. Underneath his cool exterior lurks another personality, one that he shares with Maka and only Maka.
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,282 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 488 - Follows: 92 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Soul Eater, Maka A. - Complete
White Haired Reaper by Lacrow reviews
Beware the man whose hair is white, His evil eyes will give you fright. He wants your soul, he wants your life, So watch out for the Reaper's scythe.
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 142,937 - Reviews: 729 - Favs: 912 - Follows: 475 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Soul Eater, Maka A. - Complete
High Seas and Golden Skies by SunshineSong reviews
Maka, youngest Captain the Navy has ever seen, hates Pirates. Its her job to keep peace on the seas, to put swashbuckling villains behind bars. What happens when the most infamous & hated pirate of all destroys her ship & captures her & her crew? AU! MXS
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 81,803 - Reviews: 429 - Favs: 629 - Follows: 284 - Updated: 3/14/2012 - Published: 5/18/2011 - Maka A., Soul Eater - Complete
Sh t Faced by anythingforl-l-love reviews
The boys have been having drinking nights alot. What are they like when they are drunk? SoMa if you don't like it kiss my @ . LEmon lots of it. Swearing. Alcohol. and Black Star. Rated M little ones Pairings. SoulxMaka KidxLiz and Black StarxTsubaki DISCONTINUED Sorry, lost inspiration
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,214 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 2/21/2012 - Published: 2/1/2012 - Maka A., Soul Eater - Complete
Blair's naughty prank by Taoatlantisz reviews
Blair had an idea how to help her roommates relationship to get deeper. Rated M for later chapters! pairings: MxS, BxT, SxB, SxM, LxKxP guess who is who
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,745 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/24/2011 - Published: 1/13/2011 - Maka A., Soul Eater - Complete
I Like My Breakfast Moaning by AngelKayohisura reviews
Maka tries to make breakfast. Soul takes advantage. Smut/lime ensues.
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,058 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 45 - Published: 12/25/2010 - Soul Eater, Maka A. - Complete
Temptation by ChaosViper reviews
Sometimes Maka is just too much for Soul to resist...
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,126 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 417 - Follows: 47 - Published: 7/15/2010 - Soul Eater, Maka A. - Complete