Where I live: The oh-so-miserable wet & rainy Lancashire. Oh, the joy...

Fave colour: Blue, naturally.

Fave subjects: I Love art, english (well, duh) and music.

I AM A GIRL.

"A Complication" is now up, on WOWP. I have the fifth chapter of a story called "The Truth Burns" on Warehouse 13 now up, and am about to start a co-fic with Roxy Fan 4 Ever on Winx Club, so check out his stuff, it's awesome!

A few Random/funny stuff I found dotted around:

THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute
intervals.

3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.

5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.

10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!"

11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!"

13. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"

14. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several
bullets to the chest.

15. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a
nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)

16. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"

17. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"

18. Walk up to an Employee and say to him/her in official tones: "'Code 3' in Housewares"... And see what happens.

19. Throw several bouncy balls down an isle and say "Pikachu, I choose you!"

20. Throw Skittles at random people and shout, "Taste the freakin' rainbow!

21. In the auto department, practice your 'madonna' look.

22. Buy 350 cans of tuna and when they tell you the price, shout "This can't be right! You have to put some back!"

23. Walk around looking confused in the CD department and ask people where you can find the CDs.

24. Touch an electrical cord and pretend you're getting shocked.

27. Hide in the giant snowman blow up at Christmas and when people pass by yell "I am the abominable snowman! Fear me! I will eat you!"

28. Jump in a cart and have your friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

29. Run up to an employee and ask them if they like you. If they say no, shout "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm going to tell the manager!" And start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes, say "Well, that's a shame, because that guy/girl over there was just about to ask you out."

30. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

31. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people... They want me to take you away... To isle eight..."

32. Walk into the baby clothes section. Pick up a pink baby dress then throw it down and run away, screaming the pink bunnies of doom came back.

IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

It brought tears to my eyes.

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, paste this in your profile:

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!!

IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you have watched the movie Black Beauty.

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you love horses but don't ride.

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you ARE on someone elses profile right now (that's you!).

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're the type of person who'd get REALLY hyper and het up if you find one review on reader traffic.

If you believe RACISM IS WRONG, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are deeply against abortion and the killing of unborn children, copy this onto your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! LONG LIVE PLLUUUUUTTOOOOOOOOO!!

If you ever actually read these things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs cpoy and pstae tihs otno yuor pfliore.

If you like Saddle Club or Horseland or both, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you turn off the DVD player when a horse in a movie dies, because you are about to burst into tears, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you shut your eyes when there is a scary part in a movie, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like icecream on a freezing cold day, 'cos it tastes good, copy and paste this onto your profle.

If you like my profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you laugh at the most unfunny things, copy and paste this onto your profile. Ha ha ha. HA HA HA!! XD. And that wasn't funny.

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

This is sad.

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right into her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

STOP THE ABUSE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE TIME! NO ONE LIKES TO BE HIT BY THOSE THEY KNOW AND LOVE!

Yet another child abuse poem

Just to pre-warn anyone highly prone to emotions, there may be a lot about child abuse on my profile, because it's a very sensitive subject for me. Not that I've had any personal (family or otherwise) interaction with it, but it is one of the things I am the most strongly against.

Six Truths In Life:

1) You can't stick you're tongue up and look at the ceiling at the same time: a physical imposibility.

2) All idiots will try to prove me wrong.

3) And discover that it's a lie.

4)You are smiling because you're a PURE idiot.

5) You will soon post this for another idiot to see.

6) There is still a stupid smile on you're face.

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area, put this into your profile.

Ways To Get To A Girls Heart--

1.) Hug her from behind.

2.) Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other.

3.) When standing, wrap your arms around her.

4.) Cuddle with her.

5.) Dont force her to do ANYTHING!

6.) Write little notes.

7.) Compliment her.

8.) When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

9.) Say I love you...and MEAN IT!

10). Brush the hair out of her eyes

11). Comfort her when she cries.

12.) Love her with all your heart

Girls- C&P this if you think its sweet.

Guys- C&P this if you would do any of it

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you

The reason why I don't want you is because I need you

The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left

The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would give my life for you

The reason why I wouldn't do anything for you is because I would do everything for you

The reason I chose my life over you is because you are my life

I thought this was the sweetest thing ever!

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

If You Don't Want This To Happen To You I Suggest You Repost ThIs.

Yeah...

there were these girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said anything. she opens it and finds her friend there on the ground dead. She started to scream but when she turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom; her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom, one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

And that, my friends, is why I hate myspace, facebook, bebo, twitter and all that trash.

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

FUN STUFF Of which there is no other name for

Try and read this. It's super cool.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a children's fold-away stroller:
Do not fold while child is in stroller
(Wouldn't that save time?)

This was just too funny...

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so thatmommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

My profile is now getting quite depressing... Maybe some funny stuff...

Put this on your site
If you like to laugh!

.. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSssSSSSsSS
... ...sSs
... ..s... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

You like to zig

I like to zag

You play make overs

I play tag

you listen to pop

I listen to wrock

You watch comedy central

I watch disney channel

You shop for clothes and make up

I shop for books and then save up

You draw hearts around a name

I draw characters and scenes that are never the same

You sit there dreaming about prom

I sit there thinking of a whole story plot

You want to be a model or designer in ten years from today

I want to be something but I'll think of it on the way

You shop at abercrombie and fitch

I shop at WH Smith's

You read twilight and romanticly sigh

I read Harry Potter and hysterically cry

My dog at my home work is your excuse

I have a long selection that wouldn't work with you

You are you and every other girl out there

I am me, weird and I just don't care :)

You'll scoff at this like it doesn't apply to you

I'll repost saying 'this is so true!'

I'm the girl in my class who...
Laughs at random intervals.
Sings because it sounds cool.
Jumps up and down because she's excited.
Is protective of her FICTIONAL characters in English.
Gets upset when a fictional character dies.
Speaks a minority language to piss people off.
Hates the "popular" crowd.
Does well in SOME tests and in arts.
Whose life can be discribed by a song.
Can sing the supercallifragilisticexpialladocious song and does.
Watches ALL the kids movies and tv shows and sings ALL the songs.

I'm the girl who is weird but doesn't give a shit. Repost if you're the same

OMG I can't believe I found this whoever wrote it is my TWIN!

The character quiz: List twelve of your favorite Warehouse 13 characters in any order:

1. Myka Bering
2. Claudia Donovan
3. Pete Lattimer
4. Artie Neilson
5. Sam (Myka's late partner)
6. Mrs. Frederic
7. Jane Lattimer (Regent Pete's Mom)
8. Steve Jinx
9. Jack (partner to Rebecca)
10. Rebecca (see previous)
11. HG Wells
12. Dickinson

1.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
Mrs. Frederic and HG Wells? No. :/

2.) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Yes. Artie, you sexy beast ;) LOL

3.) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Dickinson got Steve Jinx pregnant... Well, they might get close cos Steve is gay, but he's a man...

4.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?
Jack? No. He's not a very popular character.

5.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Claudia and Mrs. Frederic? GOD no!

6.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Sam/Jack Sam/Rebecca? Sam/Rebecca cos it's a man and a woman, but then Rebecca would be cheating on her lover with a dead man...

7.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
"Hey, Claudia, have you seen my son... OH MY GOD MY EYES! MY EYES!"

8.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.
Pete plays with HG's time machine, and starts to get very close to Rebecca...

9.) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?
Myka/Steve? There might be...

10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
Jane/Dickinson? The Mom And The Ex Boss

11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?
Artie to go out with Myka? They were both under the influence of an artifact cos he's like... 40 years older than her...

12.) Do any of your friends read Seven slash?
No.

13.) Do any of your friends read Three het?
Probably not, but some people will read Pete het.

14.) Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven?
No. That would be weirder than normal... And that's saying something...

15.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?
Claudia/Artie/Sam? DEFINITELY not.

16.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
"JACK! Oh my God I thought you were dead!" ??????

17.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Steve? Last Friday Night by Katy Perry.

18.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Myka/Mrs. Frederic/Dickinson? Mrs. Frederic and Dickinson have a fight over who gets their best agent? Warning EXTREMELY out of character!

19.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
Rebecca/Claudia? No frickin' clue.

20.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
Sam? Yesterday, but it was Sam/Myka, does that count?

21.) What is Six's super-secret kink?
Mrs Frederic? She makes people jump 24/7? I don't know!

22.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
HG well/Jack... Maybe?

23.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?
Nobady. It's his Mom.

24.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
(Translation: Myka and Jack are in a happy relationship until Jack suddenly runs off with Artie. Myka, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with HG Wells and a brief unhappy affair with Dickinson, then follows the wise advice of Sam and finds true love with Pete.)
Title? Soulmates. Pete/Myka forever! Read by: AAnitab, carlycarter and Kaila.Nicole. If they count. Are fave authors friends list? I don't know. AAnitab should write is cos they write Pet/Myka ships.

25.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
What's canon? Jane/Steve are wrong anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. NOT gonna happen.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

-Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

-One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

-You know, 1/7 people have fallen of there nut. Look at 6 of your friends, and if they're all good, IT"S YOU!

-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. They spend the second part telling us to sit down and shut-up

-Flying is simple! Just throw your self towards the earth, then miss the ground.

-Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

-Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

-I'm a news reporter. "What's that" i hear you ask. Well, what I do is firstly say "Good afternoon" then i tell you why my previous greeting was not true.

-When somebody annoys you, it takes up 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to reach out and punch the hell outa them. You can do so 10 times and still have 2 muscles to waste! BARGAINBARGAINBARGAIN

-Be insane. Well behaved girls are no fun to read about

--If you can't BEAT them, JOIN them

If you can't JOIN them, BRIBE them

If you can't BRIBE them, BLACKMAIL them

If you can't BLACKMAIL them, KILL them

If you can't KILL them, your SCREWED

Girls start dieting as early as eight years old because they don't like the way they look. Girls have been talking about committing sucide when they're in fourth grade because they feel insecure. This needs to stop. If you have ever felt this way , just remember that you are beautiful and someday that special person will come and sweep you off your feet. Repost this on your profile to help get the word out and add your name to the list, so that maybe one day, someone will come across this and read it and see how many people care about their life. Charn14, Tabyylynn, Whateva876, xXBlondie12Xx

--I had a friend once. Then his rope broke and he ran for it

-I took the less traveled road... NOW WHERE THE HECK AM I?

-DO NOT HIT KIDS!! No, seriously. They have guns now.

-before embarking on revenge, dig 2 graves. That way if someone gets in the way, you can dispose of each body quickly

RANDOMOSITY: The art of being random.

Things that changes color:

Leaves

Chameleons

Fruit

Animal coats

Flowers

Michael Jackson

iF YOU'VE EVER TYPED A WHOLE SENTENCE AND THEN LOOKED UP AND REALIZED THE CAPS LOCK WAS ON AT THE WRONG TIME, PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE AND ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST: Zilo Sugarpill (do it all the time), Ailia Sparrowhawk ( most annoying thing in the world). iTorchic ((GAH! IT HAPPENS TOO MUCH! wait, DAMN!))Rena((all the time)), Whateva876, XxBlondie12Xx

Don’t knock on death’s door…ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.

"Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3456. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want, stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you're delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully to the small voice who will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic, press 69696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later. And if you have low self-esteem, hang up, all our operators are too busy to talk."

I'm the kind of girl who gets on the bad side of a teacher by correcting their grammar.

I'm the kind of girl who looks at Twilight and laughs at the cheesiness.

I'm the kind of girl who has a picture of Joe Jonas pasted to my dart board. DIE YOU STUPID JONAS BROTHER!

I'm the kind of girl who walks into the Mental Hospital and greets the receptionist bye name.

I'm the kind of girl who is willing to drop-kick Twilight books out of my apartment window.

I'm the kind of girl who can hold a conversation with you for fifteen minutes and then ask, "What was your name again?"

I'm the kind of girl who reads rather than watching television.

I'm the kind of girl who is considered weird.

I'm the kind of girl who would've let Stupid Edward commit suicide.

I'm the kind of girl who thinks that Stephenie Meyer and all of her little vampires should be charged with first degree murder for the death of good literature.

I'm the kind of girl who plots with evil fictional characters.

I'm the kind of girl who would scream "Boo!" at a football game and then ask what the bad call was.

I'm the kind of girl who thinks that as you read this, you will laugh and nod and repost.

I'm the kind of girl who believes in equal rights, and doesn't care if I sound cheesy.

I'm the kind of girl who wishes there was a law against stupidity.

I'm the kind of girl who finds what's lost where I already looked.

-I do not suffer from insanity! I enjoy every minute of it!

-I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay.

-I have plenty of common sense! I just chose to ignore it.

-Yeah, I'm a freak. BUT I'M THE COOLEST FREAK YOU'LL EVER MEET!!

-If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

-Love your enemies. And that's only one way to annoy them!

-Tell the truth and RUN FOR IT

-If everything is going well in my mind then you have overlooked something

-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder

-Education is important, but school is another matter

-I was normal once. But then I watched Doctor Who

-The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame

-I got you a present. It's a CD. I hope you don't have it already coz I don't have the receipt. i didn't exactly buy it.

-When in doubt, make up words

FRIENDS: Lends you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH, RUN!'
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you don't have any food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying 'THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!'
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, 'My bad...here's a tissue.'
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you come up with revenge for the whole crowd.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME.'
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (AKA: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when a guy rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'It's because your gay, isn't it?'

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap. He loves me and
cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be
your little girl.

I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited
when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet
comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty
far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my
surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between
you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with
you.Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard
Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better
soon. I wondered why you cried so much.

One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I
couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day,
the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came
into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I
began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe
you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I
was screaming and screaming,"Mommy, Mommy, help me
please; Mommy, help me."

Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I
thought I couldn't anymore.Then the monster started ripping
my arm off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It
didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror
as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I
was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you
say how much you love me.

I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans
to make you happy. Now I couldn't; all my dreams were
shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain
of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything
to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful
death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had
done to you.

I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I
didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no
longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.I felt myself
rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful
place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.

The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He
loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked
Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered,
"Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I
don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the
monster.

I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I
wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted
to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too
powerful. It sucked my arm and legs off and finally got all of
me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I
tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through
the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.

Love,

Your Baby Girl

THINGS YOU DON"T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY
1.OOPS!
2.Has anybody survived 500ml of this stuff before?
3.if this is his spleen, then what's that?
4.come back here with that, bad dog!
5.DAMN! page 47 of the manual is missing!
6.wait a minute, my manual doesn't say that.
7.What edition is your manual?
8.Steril, schmerial.
9.the floors clean,right?
10.nurse, could you stop that thing from beating? it's throwing my concentration off.
11.let's hurry this up, i don't want to miss Baywatch.
12.FIRE FIRE! EVERYBODY GET OUT!

OMG, CHECK THESE OUT!! Aren't they incredible? Copy this list into your profile if you like it!! (That's what I did.)

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters - DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters - BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters - MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters - A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters - THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters - HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters - HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters - CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters - IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters - LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters - ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters - IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters - THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters - TWELVE PLUS ONE

If you are British and yet you speak another language, contrary to popular belief, copy this into your profile. (I can speak Greek, ,Italian, Spanish, Jappanise, French and Turkish and of course nglish :D)

If your friend has ever called you weird and you've responded with "Look who's talking!", copy this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this into your profile.

If you've ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason at all whatsoever copy and paste this into your profile. (A few times to many)

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. (I am and so are most of my friends! :D)

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, therefore weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile (: ) love them!! :D)

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this in your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you easily finish reading one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. (Everyone thinks i am insane)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

Most authors on FanFiction dot net don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you DO know the difference, and are sick of finding "your" instead of "you're", copy and paste this into your profile. (Your is like its your cup of tea and you're is a contraction of you and are)

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. (I hate it so much:( )

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. (1 million times to many)

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. (I argue with myself all the time luckly I haven't lost yet. :P)

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. (Yep... Probably all of them. :D)

Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (I heard it was the first sign of maddness ahhhh)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, Sammi, Nukagirl, M. Night Wolfalona, littlebixuit, ShaggelmaLove, Jazzola, FireTiger1008

pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

If a pizza is a circle, and the slices are triangular, then why is the pizza box square?

If "Canadian Bacon" is really just ham, then what do they call bacon in Canada?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why is something transported by a car/truck called shipment, and why is something transported by boat called cargo?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. I guess i can settle for second place.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Copy and Paste if you LOVE to laugh (even if at yourself)

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Things Not to Do at Hogwarts!! :) These are AWESOME! lmao x

1. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp (a dance involving the pelvic thrust) will not earn me any House points.
2. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout, "I have the power!”
3. “Y’all check this here out!” is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to perform an experimental spell.
4. It is not necessary to yell, “Burn!” every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
5. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
6. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice.
7. I will not sing, “We’re off to see the wizard!” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
8. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
9. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
10. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing Little Shop of Horrors music.
11. It is not necessary for me to yell, “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.
12. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.
13. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug a Slytherin Day.
14. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.
15. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt.
16. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
17. “Draco Malfoy takes it up the arse!” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant…
18. I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
19. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles.”
20. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.
21. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
22. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps. (But how cool would that be??)
23. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
24. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.
25. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup.
26. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.
27. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
28. “OMGWTF!” is not a spell.
29. I will not follow Potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.
30. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort..
31. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
32. If asked in class about Avada Kedavra, yelling, “It does DEATH!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should answer.
33. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force.”
34. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
35. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin mascot.
36. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of good and evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout, “There can be only ONE!”
37. I will not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine.”
38. I will not say, “Dude, get a life,” to Lord Voldemort.
39. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
40. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the result would be.
41. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “firewhisky.
42. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
43. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
44. Seamus Finnigan is not “After me, Lucky Charms!”
45. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
46. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write, “I told you I was hardcore.”
47. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

Try these out no cheating!

Type your name: xXBlondie12Xx

With your eyes closed: XxBlondie13XX

With your elbow: XSxBlondjke12wXx

With your nose: XxBlondie12Xx (Awesome! I have the nose power!)

You say Twilight
I say Harry Potter
You say vampires
I say wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirius Black
You say Team Edward
I say Team Potter
You say Robert Pattison
I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"
You say Edward
I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY