![]() Author has written 5 stories for Anime X-overs, Dragon Ball Z, Naruto, and Misc. Comics. I did not plan on updating my story at 12:08 1st of January, New Year's Day, 2017, it just happened. I currently have 3 stories on this website I like to have a rough version on paper so I can take that and run with it. I usually stick to My ideas but when needed I will take suggestions and have votes on what to do in a story. Dragon Ball Pact: "This pact is meant to hold together the remaining fans of Dragon Ball/Z/GT/Super. Whether you like the FUNimation dub or the Ocean dub, whether you like the manga or the anime, whether you say 'Saiyan' or 'Saiyajin', we must stand strong and united, for we are the last of our dying race. And all those who are true fans, post this up on your page, forever proclaiming your Dragon Ball heritage. Be proud, for you are a true Saiyan!" Man Law 1. No wasted beer in the name of humour. 2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control. 3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her it’s a 6 day waiting period. 4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home. (The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full responsibility of driving his friends home.) 6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal. 7. If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you. 8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler. This is the only law that suffers the penalty of death. 9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare in case a friend is in desperate need. 10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets. 12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it. 14. When your friend picks up a hot girl... however the hot girl has an ugly friend... it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you got to do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repaid. 15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper-rock-scissors (with no shoot). 16. It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober. 17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom. 18. You poke it you own it. 19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men. 21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to ensure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting girls does not count… rule is an exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day. 22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E … Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet… or if a man is figuratively in a girl's pants… (Or any other article of clothing). 24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances. 25. Being a pirate should be considered a manly job because pirates get two types of booty. 27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies. 28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice. No need to say "I'm Sorry". 29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are separated, refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.) 30. Under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another man’s attempt at getting some tang. Let’s just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man Status and its privileges, and will result in the title 'Manbitch'. 31. Every man should watch Sportscenter at least once a year, though multiple viewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that year. 32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesn’t mind an unfair fight, seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used if said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or an UFC cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime, and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it. 34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from 'Man' to 'Manbitch' and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships. 35. Women can't drive. 36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10. 37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of 'Manbitch' from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly... and what is not. 38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you don’t agree with the war, they are your countrymen fighting to protect you and you should show them your support. 39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. Modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years' past. 40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play. When leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket. 41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal. 42. A man will not live in his parents' house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war. 43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman, "Do you like this?" And the right to leave the room. 46. Grilling, regardless of weather, is always the first choice for cooking. 48. Men will invite other men to Man Law 49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "it’s not their brand." 50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game, shoes or not. 51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes. 52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza. 53. If you spill a man’s beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup. 54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you can’t drink it in said time, don’t open it. If you can’t drink it in said time, your Man Status will be up for review. 55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped. 56. It is never a man’s responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be stacked or crushed, while the bottles may be thrown into neighbor’s lawn. 57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer. 58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway. 59. The bachelor’s party is exclusively male. (Except the entertainment). 60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. It’s understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality. 61. A man purse is still a purse. 62. No man shall dance for fun unless it’s to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex. (Or he his black). 64. No man shall bring a woman to the guys' night out. This is punishable by verbal abuse for life. 65. If you do not sweat, it’s not a sport. (People sweat during Beer Pong.) 66. If a large snake catches a man off guard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once. 67. No man shall wear a beret unless it’s for his military service. 68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone. 69. No man shall ever, under any circumstance, share an umbrella with another man. 71. The girl who replies to the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" with, "If you loved me, you'd know what I want," gets an Xbox. End of story. ( Version or age of Xbox is irrelevant). 72. Keeping beer from others by hiding it in the fridge is not permissible. Besides, sharing is caring. 73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only. 74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man. 75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand. 76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done, but only when alone or with other men. 78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth. 79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, it is perfectly accepted to watch. 80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice. 81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, Lacrosse, or Ice Hockey. 82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable. Any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal. Exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. Exception to this rule are monkeys. 85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.2. Your date is using her teeth.3. Anna Kournikova gets married (female’s identity is subject to change depending on time period Man Law is read). 86. When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing. 87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-to-eye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away. 89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions. 90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her. 93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. 94. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence. 95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours. 96. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "Down in Tijuana," "One time when we were all piss drunk," or "And this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw." 97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination. Beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!" (Exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%) 98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale. 99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable. 100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own -grill, car, firstborn child- within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case. 101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it. 102. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean. 103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your best friend’s birthday is optional.) 104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriend’s cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan. 105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. You should know such things. 106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood. 107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes - as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline. 108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours... unless she is withholding sex, pending your response. 109. You cannot rat out a friend who shows up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks it’s broken, or have him paged every seven minutes. 110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was. 111. Everybody is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. And as such said people must consume alcohol on St. Patrick’s Day. Green and/or gold body paint may be worn. 112. When passing another man in a tight area where contact is possible, hole-to-hole or pole-to-pole are only acceptable. If it is pole-to-pole no eye contact should be made. If any detour from this is spotted by any onlooking men, possible labels such as "Fag" may be deemed necessary, resulting immediate demotion in man status. 113. The terms "Fag" and "Manbitch" are allowed to not be used in the presence of 'certain' women. 114. You must share this list with anyone you see as a man. you know you live in 2009 when: 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. |
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