![]() ~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer. 19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity: 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on you desk and label it "In". 5. Put decaf in in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For smuggling drugs". 7. Finish all of your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy". 8. don't use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go". 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sound all day. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friend you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have you co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom. 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!". 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." If you think clowns are scary copy thins into your profile If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever crashed into a wall, then noticed that it was a wall then still apologized, copy/paste this onto your profile. If you have ever been called eccentric/enigmatic copy/paste this onto your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach, Jersy Shore or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless, copy and paste this to your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If reality continues to ruin your life, copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe that fan clubs are the legal way to stalk someone, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a ninja, copy and paste this into your profile. I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed. If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugar high, copy onto profile If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever gone around poking random people copy and paste this into your profile You have said somthing you were thinking out loud without knowing, copy this into your profile. You have sung stupid/funny songs out loud, while skipping too. Copy and add this into your profile. You have done something stupid/dangerous with your friends/family members or alone, add this into your profile. If you're addicted to anime, copy & paste this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. If you ever called Pizza Hut and asked for Domino's number or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you agree that if you are what you eat then Voldemort is a unicorn copy this into your profile. wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. 1. Your reading my comment 25 reasons I owe my mom. Thanks a bunch mom!! 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of DIFFUSION. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. 8 Ways to scare your roommates. 8) Get alot of potatoes and draw faces on them and name them and make one your roommate. Then after a while eat your roommate potato. When your roommate ask why say "He just didn't belong". 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." Answering Machine Messages: 1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya, We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...really slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. 2. Hi. I'm probably home, but I'm avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't get back to you, it's you. 3. Hi. Now YOU say something! 4. Hello, if you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call you sooner. 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have Lots of money!! 7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these plastic magnets. 8. This is not an answering machine...it's a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think your name, your number, and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number, and they will get back with you. 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. RULES ARE YOU? 1. Perfect? Not even close. LAST: 1. Friend you saw: Hayden FAVORITES: 1. Number: 27 EIGHT EMOTIONS: 1. Are you missing someone right now? No ABOUT YOU: 1.Real name? I am not telling you (creep) FIRSTS: 1. First best friend? Hayden CURRENTLY: 1. Eating? Not hungry.. WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? 1. Shorter or taller? Taller but not to much. HAVE YOU EVER: 1. Drank bubbles? Yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 1. Miracles? Yup A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad.' 'Dear, Dad. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Love, P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I have the longest profile ever!!!!!!! |
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