![]() Hey there! Welcome to my page =D If you have any questions just ask me! I might be putting up a few stories if I ever stop being lazy . Anyways in the mean time check out my DeviantArt page: Ninja-Chick Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts: 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms 2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches 12) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!" 13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" every time I apparate. 20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand. 23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice. 25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force". 28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. 29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library. 30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore". 32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not aclever moneymaking concept. 34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause. 35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord. 36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing "I Will Survive in the mirror", as it is disturbing. 37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it. 38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class. 41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “ 47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. 48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. 49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient. 51.)Calling the Ghost-busters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 52.)I may not have a private army. 53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west. 56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 59.)I shouldn't use Photo-shop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors. 60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 62.) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 63.) - Especially not all of them at once. 64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts." 65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos." 66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter. 68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort. 72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms. 73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paint-balling. 77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. 78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles. 81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: "The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume. 86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes. 87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times. 90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade 92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry 93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall 94.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 95.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 96.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 97.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 98.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 99.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." 100.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 101.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 102.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 103.) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously. 104.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 105.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 106.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” 107.) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. 108.) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”. 109.) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmacy exams. 110.) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts. 111.) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation. 112.) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such. 113.) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit. 114.) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room. 115.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 116.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks. 117.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks. 118.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. 119.) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a muggle car. 120.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine. 121.) When fighting death-eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”. 122.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become. 123.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be. 124.) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S. 125.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha. 126.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 127.) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. QUINN TRELLIS'S GUIDE TO KNOWING IF YOU'RE A SECRET NARUTARD...NOT THAT SHE DOES THIS STUFF...in public anyway... You eat Ramen all day everyday. You've watched every episode at least 5 times - in English and Japanese. You watched the first 135 episodes of Naruto in less than 5 days. You cover half your face with a mask. You spend all your free time looking at Naruto web sites. You try to walk up trees using your feet only. You draw whiskers on your face. You draw black circles around your eyes. You think about killing your entire family just to test your abilities. You always talk about Naruto, even if no one wants to hear about it. You run with your arms behind you. You have read and written Naruto fan fiction. ..And took it a step further by making a Naruto music video. You decide to call your morals your "ninja way". You thrust your arm forward with a stress ball in hand and yell "Rasengan!" You run with a snowball during a snowball fight, dodging evrything in your path (or at least pretending to) and get to your target and thrust a "Snow Rasengan!" in their face. You feel like you can tap into yourself and demand bursts of energy during a race or fight. You yell out "Demon Windmill Shuriken" when your throwing a Frisbee. You dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree. You watch Naruto in Japanese, without English subtitles, even though you don't know a lick of Japanese. You address your tests as the Chunin Exams. You dye your hair red and carry a large bottle of sand on your back. You call old men who stare at young women "Ero-sennin" or "Pervy sage". Your not Japanese and you say "Itadkimasu" before you eat. Your dreams and daydreams consist of elements from the Naruto world. You have Naruto games for video game systems you don't even have. You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. You tell people your dream is to be Hokage. You replace your backpack with a giant gourd. You feel like you have the Sharingan after you put in normal, everyday people contacts. ...And feel like you turn off your Sharingan after you take them out. You paint the Nine-Tailed Fox seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you. Whenever your stomach rumbles, you think it's the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox trying to get out. You wear a jacket in the middle of the summer. You roll your eyes back into your head and shout "Byakugan!" You give people the 'nice-guy' pose. You jump into the room, kicking the door yelling "Dynamic Entry!" You have to put on a headband before a major competition. ...And want your competition to do it too so people acknowledge you all as equeals. You do something stupid, and claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possession Jutsu. You get a tattoo of a cursed seal on you neck. You leave your town for two and a half years, come back, and pretend you're cooler and smarter then before. Any mention of Naruto makes you scream, laugh, applaud, or overall just become rather excited. You daydream about fighting the likes of Orochimaru, or all of the Akatsuki members. You make pairings between the characters. You try to teach your dog 'Dynamic Marking'. You throw clay birds hoping they'll explode. You carry puppets with you. You call your group of friends a "three man cell". "Art is a Bang" Your theories in chemistry, psychology, or philosophy class always reference Naruto somehow. The only facts you know about cells are the ones you learned from Tsunade. You have gotten at least one friend addicted to Naruto. You imagine Mount Rushmore as the Hokage faces. You buy Naruto stickers and stick them on your car, room, or face. You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets. Your on a Naruto forum and it's 4:00am. You try to summon a frog in biology class. ...by biting your thumb, making hand signs, and thrustung your hand on the floor. You carry around frogs and call yourself "The Toad Sage". You claim to be an expert on the Japanese language, then get kicked out of Japan on your vacation because all you knew how to do was insult people. You have a pet pig named Tonton. You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter. You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next episode. You call your teachers "Sensei" and your not Japanese. You add the suffixes -chan and -kun to the end of your friends names and your not Japanese. You follow somebody home and when they ask you why, you tell them it's part of your mission. You use pick-up lines like "Wanna see my new Jutsu?" or "Did you see my shadow clone pass by here earlier?" You dress up a piece of wood and tell people your practicing a substitution technique. You start making handsigns... ...And then run at somebody yelling "Chidori!" You try to sign a contract with blood. You hit people over the head if they say something stupid. You paste a piece of paper that says "Come Come Paradise" on the front of adult books. You keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet. You try to do 200 push-ups and when your not able to, you'll do 200 squats, and when you can't do that you'll try to walk around your town 200 times on your hands. You try and compare people in real life to people in Naruto. You drive around with Naruto music blasting out of the car, hoping somebody will recognize them and think your cool. You're in a fight and rub some hot sauce in your eyes, yelling "Sharingan!" You take out a bottle of hot sause and drink it, shouting "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu)" You get mad when people call Naruto stupid or gay. You have many Naruto head bands with the same symbol on it and you got it again 'cause it's a different colour or it's metal. You trust your life in websites like "Saiyanisland" or "Uzumakiworld". You wish they would put Naruto Shippuden on Adult Swim. You make up your own little Naruto world in your head. You considered becoming a doctor so you can be a "Medic-nin". You actually know the hand signs for more than 1 jutsu You refer to your homework as missions, and rank them as such |
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