Yo! I'm GracefulDoom! I'm here to write and read and if you don't like it, why are you even on this site?

Even though this is all completely useless, enjoy!

Name: That's for me to know and for you to hopefully never find out... fine, it's Nick, but that's all I'm telling

Age: As old as time (not really)

Place of Origin: Australia

Favourite Series: Naruto, Hellsing, Death Note, Avatar: the Last Airbender, Soul Eater, Kuroshitsuji, Gurren Lagann, Code Geass, Bleach, Homestuck

Favourite Characters: Pein (Naruto), Itachi (Naruto), Hollow Ichigo (Bleach), Alucard (Hellsing), L Lawliet (Death Note), Death the Kid (Soul Eater), Excalibur (Soul Eater), Kamina (Gurren Lagann)

Favourite Games: Kingdom Hearts series, Monster Hunter, Guild Wars 2, Team Fortress 2, Fallout series, Portal 1&2, Age of Mythology, and the list goes on

Honorary Member of The Book of Log.

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile

Position: Log Worshipper

Possible Book of Log Positons:

Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
twenty-five saplings.

If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

Quotes of Excellence

"Sanity? Worthless things like that, I never had them for as long as I can remember!"

Pvt. Dick Simmons: The other Freelancers never gave orders, they just offered to trade favors.
Agent Washington: Okay, then let's bargain. What do you want?
Sgt. Dexter Grif: [conferencing] Three words guys:...
Sarge: New base...
Sgt. Dexter Grif: ...gold-plated vagina.
Pvt. Dick Simmons: Shut up.
Sarge: Lasers.
Pvt. Dick Simmons: Always with that.
Sgt. Dexter Grif: Nudie mags.
Sarge: Robots and lasers. Lasers, and robots.
Sgt. Dexter Grif: Milkshake.
Sarge: All right, we talked about it, and we figured out what we want.
Agent Washington: All right, let's have it.
Sarge: We want you to demote Grif.
Agent Washington: Done.
Pvt. Dexter Grif: What?
Pvt. Dick Simmons: Another wasted opportunity.
Agent Washington: Congratulations. You are now *Private* Grif again.
Sarge: Got anything lower?
Agent Washington: Private, Junior Grif?
Sarge: I was thinkin' something with an insulting adjective, or... maybe a demeaning adverb...
Agent Washington: How about Minor Junior Private Grif, negative first class?
Sarge: Heh heh, I like the way you think.
Mnr. Jr. Pvt. Dexter Grif, -1st Class: You realize you just doomed us to certain death just so you could insult me, right?
Sarge: Hey, if we do get killed at least we'll go out on a high note. Well, everybody but you. That's to be expected; you haven't had a high note in five years! Why break the goddamn streak?

Agent Washington: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Not my fault. Someone built a wall in my way.

Agent Washington: You have got to be the most immature soldiers I've ever met.
Sgt. Dexter Grif: Your face is immature.

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils" - Louis Hector Berlioz

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

"Life isn't short, it's the longest thing you'll ever do."

“There are no coincidences in this world. Only the inevitable happen.”

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'." -Homer Simpson

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer."

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."

"Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but fun to push down stairs."

"The shinbone is a device for finding hard furniture in a dark room."

"Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise."

"You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."

"The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!"

"Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat."

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

"Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil."

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"Are you scared? I understand. The first time I saw my reflection in the mirror, even I was frightened by how BIG my reflection was."- Black Star

"The taller the chefs hat the greater the chef... FOOLS ... Who said I was a chef?!" - Excalibur

“Don't belive in yourself! Believe in ME who belives in you!!!” - Kamina

“This world is Rotten. Rotten people should be killed off to cleanse this world.” - Yagami Light

“When people are protecting something truly precious to them, they truly can become, as strong as they need to be!” - Haku

“In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen.” - Peter Farguson

“To know what is right and choose to ignore it is the act of a coward.” - Hatake Kakashi

“A dropout will beat a genius through hard work.” - Rock Lee

“Have you ever realized how insignificant your existence is on the planet?” - Haruhi Suzumiya

“Remember this well. There are two types of fights. As we have put our lives in battle, we must be able to distinguish between the two. The fight to protect life, and the fight to protect pride.” - Ukitake Jushiro

“Those who betray the rules are trash... but those who betray their comrades are worse than trash.” - Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Obito

“Admiration is the emotion farthest from comprehension.” - Aizen Sosuke

“I am Justice! I protect the innocent and those who fear evil. I’m the one that will become the god of a new world that everyone desires!!” - Yagami Light

“Religion, ideology, resources, land, spite, love or just because... No matter how pathetic the reason, it's enough to start war. War will never cease to exist... reasons can be thought up after the fact... Human nature pursues strife.” – Pein

"Out of love, sacrifice is born… Hate is born… and we are able to know pain!" – Pein

"I see… That is noble of you. That is justice indeed. However… My family… My friends… My village… They suffered the same fate as this village by you ninja of Konoha. How is it fair to allow only you people to preach about peace and justice?" - Pein

“If you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me, and live a detestable life... Run, run and cling to life. And one day, when you have the same eyes as me, come before me.” - Uchiha Itachi

“True Change cannot be made if it is bound by laws and limitations, predictions and imagination.” - Uchiha Itachi

“There are many types of monsters that scare me: Monsters who cause troubles without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood... and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others: They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they've never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them... because in truth, I am that monster.” - L Lawliet

“What's wrong? You've only had two legs blown off... Come at me! Summon your familiars! Polymorph your body! Regenerate your legs and stand up! Come, the night is still young... Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! The fun's yet to come! Hurry! Hurry!” - Alucard

“The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.” - Alucard

Spike Spiegel: Hey, Jet, did you know that there are three things that I hate?
Jet Black: Whatever...
Spike Spiegel: Kids... animals... and women with attitude.
Jet Black: Oh?
Spike Spiegel: So why do we have all three neatly gathered on our ship!

“I'm not just a pervert...I'M A SUPER PERVERT!” - Jiraiya

Kakashi: That's it? Then I'll show you. Underneath this mask...
Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura: Uh-huh...
Kakashi: Underneath this mask...
Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura: Yeah...
Kakshi: Underneath this mask... Is another mask!

“Look deep into my eyes and accept my sincere apology! Also notice my handsome manly features.” - Might Guy

“A sound soul...resides within a sound mind, and a sound body.” - Maka Albarn