BrownHairedMage
 In case I forget to put it in any chapters, Disclaimer: I don't own anything (except for the plot :D) Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and everything else besides the plot! :D The plot is mine. You are a Flaming Uke! One of the easiest uke to recognize by sight. Your flamboyantly gay behavior makes it easy for seme to prey upon you, and that is exactly what you want, and you usually have a few tricks up your sleeve as well. You most often have colored hair, designer clothes, and eyes that are constantly roaming, searching for the perfect partner. You are best paired with the Chibi Seme, who will rise to your challenge with their mischievous nature. Most compatible with: Chibi Seme Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Opportunist Seme I was formerly known as Squeaky Bella, but I changed to BrownHairedMage. I only talk to myself because, beleive it or not, I actually like to have a intellectual conversations every once in a while. Hi! Here's some random stuff about me. Hair: My hair is brown and short. I had long hair. My mom says I have red streaks in my hair, and I put blonde streaks in it recently. Eyes: my eyes are dark brown and kind of wide. Sex: I am female! :D Name: On a need to know basis. :P Nicknames: Raerae DOB: sorry, not giving it. :P Country: I wish I could say the U.S.A., but sadly I cannot. I'm in Italy, Sigonella actually. If you're wondering why I'm there, well, my step-father is in the navy, so I'm basically a military child, and no, were not all the bossy little brats I know you're most likely thinking me and my friends are, but were nice. Born: V.A. in U.S.A. Music: Country, Soft Rock, R&B, Rock, and some others that I can't think of right now. Favorite singers/Bands: ABSOLUTE favorite singer EVER is Taylor Swift. Others are Toby Keith, Carrie Underwood, Katy Perry, Paramore, Kenny Rodgers, Johnny Cash, American Rejects, Lights Out Dancing, can't forget J.B. (Justin Bieber)!!!, and a few others that I can't think of right now. Favorite things: I really don't know... Anime: Fairy Tail, Ouran High School Hosy Club, (My friend got me hooked on this. Who's mad that they don't have a second season?) Blood Plus, (Haji rocks!! But so does Solomon.) Fruits Basket, Kimi ni Todoke, and I think Special A is the last one. Series: That 70's Show, Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Ugly Betty, NCIS, CSI, and a bunch of others that I can't remember right now. Favorite Quotes from That 70's Show: Red (Covered in oatmeal) “Oh yeah! Well I’ve got a prank where my foot doesn’t go up your @! Let’s hope it doesn’t go horribly, horribly wrong!” Red "You drilled a hole in my floor! My foot is about to drill a hole in your @!" Kelso "Aren't we all just driving the same car; this car called life." Red "How 'bout I drive my foot into this thing called your @?!" Red "You morons just hung vacancy signs on your @3, and my foot's looking for a room!" Red "You know I oughta vandalize your @ with my foot!" Red "Sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot in your @." Red "How'd you like to own a little bit of my foot in your @?" Eric "What took you guys so long at the heart doctor's? Oh, let me guess. You had to call in a specialist just to find dad's tiny heart." Red "You know, we could call in a specialist to find my foot in your @." Hyde "We're gonna need an @-footologist STAT!" Red "You are about to read a book that my foot wrote. It's called on the road to in your @." Red "I wish I had two-thousand feet, so I could put five-hundred of them in each of your @3!" Red (Pretending to be Eric) "Well, I'm just a skinny, smart mouth kid who always has something to say about everything!" Eric (Pretending to be Red) "Well, I wish I was an octopus...so I could stick eight different feet up eight different @3! HAHAHAHAHA!" Red "Star Wars! Star Wars! Star Wars!" Eric "Dead Commies! Dead Commies! Dead Commies!" Red (after Kitty finds out that Red keeps a stash of presents in the basement in case he forgets to buy something for her) "It's more of a vast inventory of love." Kitty "Well, you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your @! Yeah! I can do that too!" (Kitty's just so funny!!) Kitty "Washer and dryer Red, they are going to have a washer and dryer. That red-headed harlot is going to be shouting out my baby's grass stains! What about my last summer with my youngest child? I bet you weren't thinking about that when you went fishing! I bought sparklers for the fourth of July! He loves sparklers and now he's leaving and what are we going to do for the fourth of July?" Red "Uhhh, there's a car show in Kenosha." Kitty "A car show? I don't wanna go to a beep car show in beep Kenosha! I want three more beep months with my baby boy! And now they're gone because of your bullbeep! Way to go dumb@!" Red "Hold that flashlight will you?" Jackie "Like this?" (The car is illuminated in an angelic glow and heavenly music plays in the background) Red "Well what do you know? One of you isn't useless!" Caroline "You know the old me would have ripped out your eyeballs and hung them over my rear view mirror like a pair of dice, but the new me just slaps the anger away." (Proceeds to slap herself) Caroline "You have a sharp tongue, it would taste great in a salad." Movies: Too many to list, but i'll give you something. My absolute favorite is Uptown Girls. Fried Green Tomatoes, I've only seen parts of this movie, but I cried when I saw the ending. I'm a sap, I know. My Sisters Keeper, Dream Girls, Transformers, Eagle Eye, The Notebook, Pirates Of the Carribean, Spanglish, and a lot more. Books: Twilight, New Moon (not really, I cried in chapter three, and now there are tear stains on the pages. I had to put it down soooooooooooooo many times so that the ink didn't smear.), Eclipse (I cried when she was telling Jacob goodbye. Crying like an Idiot.), Breaking Dawn, The Host (Hard to get into, but near maybe, 1/4, 1/5, or 1/6, it starts getting more interesting.), Inkheart, Inkspell, Inkdeath, The Shadow Speaker (really good book, may sound weird, but it's fantasy, and if you love or even like fantasy books, then you'll definitly like this book.), Rosey in the Present Tense, Stargirl, Teen Idol, Ghost Girl, and a few others I can't remember. Copy and Paste it's: READ Make a Difference by blackandivorykeys My feet ache, my eyes sting, and my mind are in circles after a long, emotional day, and yet I can’t sleep without finishing more tasks. Every baneful remark made to me and the things I’ve seen recently have brought me closer to snapping. I can handle pressure, agony, and etc. Not all people can. That, in my opinion, is why people do have eating disorders, do drugs, drink, cut, and etc. Ultimately, that is also why people commit suicide. Teenagers. Adults. Everyone. People commit suicide, the ultimate choice. The choice of to be or not to be, as Shakespeare once said, is ours. People are forced to answer the question every day. I see abuse, neglect, homicide, suicide, rape, and cruel, sick, baneful things in the news too many times to count. I wrote this because some people who I used to look up to called me fat, and this would have caused many teens to go berserk and cause yet another eating disorder in the world. They said those exact words to me, perhaps ever more harsh. I don't want others to snap under this and go suicidal. I played cat and mouse in Stop and Shop hiding from them for freak sake! Why? I did because I was about to snap. But talking to people I'm pretty sure I would trust with my life has changed that. Please read this and share it with anyone in the world, anyone in need, anyone. If someone you know needs help, have them PM me. If something in life is important enough to fight for, do so. I didn’t expect this to be so long, but the words came tumbling out of my mouth. Do something to help the world. Do what is right. Make a difference. TRUE STORY A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. you have been diagnosed -Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! -If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. -If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile -If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile -Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, Squeaky Bella -If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you are a complete and utter thrill seeker who thrives off roller-coasters and being dropped from insane heights to have a major adreneline rush, copy this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?” copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. Copy paste this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile. Her name was Aurora Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrust the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If you hate child abuse, post this on your profile. If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile. If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If your friends are always trying to tell you to shut up but you dont, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you had a choice between human and vampire, and you would choose vampire, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you ran up a down escalator copy and paste this into your profile (I did that at the airport, and believe me, the ending of that wasn't pretty, but it wasn't so bad that I had to go to the hospital. really bad scratch/gash) If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile (all the time... That was of course before I realised the room was dead quiet and when I realised that I ended up laughing harder and louder). If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile (I've also added Volturi, Esme, Carlise and all the other names that didn't exist in the dictionary. Ask my sister, she had to put up with me ranting about Edward, Bella and Emmett last night. Alice too). AV is Addicted to Vampires. WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome. ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder. If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile (well, just my bed, microwave, toaster, one of my hair brushes, oh mustn't forget my laptop and laptop keys.) If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile If your skin is almost always cold...copy and paste this onto your profile (do you know how cold it is here in Italy?!) If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you realise that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realised it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile (not to Twilight kind however). If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, oceaneyes85253, UrDadSaidICouldn'tUsetheDoor, Kats-Fan-Melodica,(about 36 hours non-stop during holidays, and as long as possible during school) Squeaky Bella. ( Stayed up for a full day one time I'm not exactly old, but enough to be a teen) If you've ever spent numerous hours looking for stuff that reminds you of any of the Cullens/Swans, copy and and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, The Masochistic Lion Squeaky Bella If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (Hee hee, Twilight...) If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, The Masochistic Lion Squeaky Bella I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile! (I have ADHD for realz. not joking at all. I'M SERIOUS!!) If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off. If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile. If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, copy this into your profile. If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile. Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile. If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile. If you have ever slapped/punched a relative because they took the last piece of your gum, copy this into your profile. If you have ever met someone out to destory your life for no reason, copy this into your profile and his/her name to the list (and include any insult u want in parenthesis): (Sierra, she needs to be slapped and punished 'till she can't even speak anymore) If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile. Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythicle lemon with wings. ha! now you know!!) If you have a problem with counsoulors, copy and paste!! If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle. ( Ther're out to get me!! ) 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this to your profile. If your obsessed with fan fiction, copy this to your profile. If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you, copy this to your profile. If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward", you freak out because you love him so much, copy this to your profile. If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile. If you think that only losers don't own Twilight, copy this to your profile. If your so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think it's vampires playing ball, copy this to your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile. If you love the rain, copy this to your profile. If you've ever known you were in mortal danger but decided to go through with the stunt anyway, copy this into your profile If you are a complete and utter thrill seeker who thrives off roller-coasters and being dropped from insane heights to have a major adrenaline rush, copy this into your profile. Did you know... kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Read Below if you hate Child Abuse My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in the God, Son, and Holy Ghost then copy and paste this in your profile If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..." REAL, DO NOT READY THIS Scary-a.. thing.. This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this! No Matter How Many Times I Read This I can't Draw myself to Tears Even Though I Want to Cry my Eyes Out. I went to a party, Mom I felt proud of myself, I made a healthy choice, I got into my car, Now I'm lying on the pavement, My own bloods all around me, I'm sure the guy had no idea, So why do people do it, Mom Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Someone should have taught him, My breath is getting shorter, Mom I wish that you could hold me Mom, Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. One more heart that is broken. If you're against abortion, re-post this Jasper and Emmett’s list of HOW TO ANNOY EDWARD!! 1. Prance around the house singing Madonna’s ‘Like a virgin’ at the top of your lungs every morning. 2. Especially loud when Bella is around to hear it. 3. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been ‘sleeping’ with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception. 4. Hire a stripper to pop out of the wedding cake XD 5. Buy a sex-ed book and shove it in his locker, making sure that whenever he decides to open it that it falls out, in clear view of the school. 6. Make sure and tell Aro that Edward wants to elope with him. 7. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob 8. Program his locker to—whenever he opens it to sing (LOUDLY) YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS, SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! HERE WE GO NOW! YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! GET HORNY NOW! And repeat. Over and over and over. 9. Tell him it was Jacob’s idea. 10. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he’s thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it’s just you. 11. Ask him where babies come from. Tell him he’s stupid when he won’t answer your question. 12. For his birthday give him a 100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn’t eat food. 13. Post his phone number and address on e-harmony. 14. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul. 15. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert. 16. Steal his Vanquish and program his radio to only play Lollipop –unedited of couse. Make sure he can’t turn it off or get it replaced. 17. Replace his ringtone with ‘Outta my head’ by Asheele Simpson. Make sure he can’t change it. 18. Color on all his Bella pictures with Permanent marker. 19. Refuse to replace them. 20. Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween. 21. Get offended when he refuses. 22. Take him to Victoria’s Secret with Alice. 23. Constantly whisper in his ear “Chinese Fireball….ooooooooh!” (HP REFERENCE) 24. Ask him how his bath with Harry was (HP REFERENCE.). 25. Constantly remind him that he almost lost Bella to a dog. 26. Key his car. ‘Jacob and Edward LURVE’ 27. Get him on that show ‘intervention’. Make sure everyone knows he addicted to heroin. 28. Tell him you have Bella as a witness if he denies it. 29. Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you. 30. Call him a liar when he says no. 31. Throw boysenberry flavored muffins at him every time he tries to speak. 32. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton. 33. Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike. 34. Ask him if Charlie is secretly a unicorn. 35. Make him watch the twilight movie. 36. Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues. 37. Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob. 38. Train the dog to follow him everywhere. P.S. Make sure he doesn’t eat it. 39. Ask him why he’s not as hot as Robert Pattinson. 40. Ask him if he’s a virgin. 41. When he says yes, take a picture of him and tape it to the 40 year old virgin movie poster. 42. Make him watch Hairspray with you. Ask him why he’s not as hot as Zac Efron. 43. When he says that he is, ask him why he wasn’t the star of the singing high school people. 44. Tape porn to his walls. 45. Make sure Bella sees it. 46. Nail his CDS to the ceiling along with his Stero. 47. Refuse to take them down. 48. Tell him Jacob thinks he’s a sex god. 49. Tell him Jane thinks he’s better than a sex god. 50. Start singing ‘Paper cut’ around him. Constantly. tad ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Are u on the floor laughing, getting up then hit your head on something? Same here! This is 50 ways to piss Jacob Black off! Make a note of it then stalk him and then do all of this stuff to him: 1. Make over 1000 copies of the icon which repeats the phase: Jacob Balck must die! 2. Put it EVERYWHERE he can see it. 3. Make it the world's newest catchphase 4. Blame the whole thing on Sam and/or Emmett and/or Jasper and/or Edward 5. Buy him a dog and tell the dog to take him for a walk 6. Make the sign of the cross near him and say very loudly: IN THE NAME OF EDWARD THE SEX GOD AND DEFFO NOT THE STUPID MUTT JACOB! 7. Tell Jacob hes a good doggie when he comes out of the toilet 8. Tell him he cant have chocolate because it will kill him 9. Tell him that Nessie has died 10. Tell him that it was Edward who killed her 11. Make sure that Edward, Bella and the rest of the Cullens are safe before doing numbers 9 and 10 12. Make sure he knows that Leah imprinted on him 13. Blame Leah... 14. Announce that Nessie has three other boyfriends called Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie and Tyler Crowley! 15. Tell him that La Push sucks 16. See if he notices the pun (make sure that a vampire said it to him and that a vampire is in La Push) 17. Remind him every five minutes that Edward can also share his thoughts 18. Spread a rumour that both Nessie and Leah are pregnant 19. When he says he doent care if Leahs pregnant, remind him of her birthday party 20. When he doesnt remember, tell him that he snuck off with Leah when he enloped with her! 21. When he is about to punch you, tell him that you heal fast 22. Tell him that was how it was for Bella when she hit him 23. Take him to see the Twilight film and ask him if he knows he was almost fired from the film because he was crap 24. Make sure Bella has a force field around you first 25. Remind him that Nessie is under 13 so she cannot enlope with him 26. She can however do it with her other three bfs 27. If your bored, remind him of his time with Bella when Edward left 28. Tell him he should have raped her then and there and everything would be different now... 28. Remind him that his fan girls are losing interest 29. Stage whisper to Emmett that Jacob lost Bella to a dead person 30.Buy him a pet Rock 31. Name it Bella 32. Tell him to kiss that instead 33. Ask him how he imprinted if he's not a werewolf!! (Thank you fluffysexyvampire!) 34. Make sure to tell him Alice wants to buy him clothes 35. When he asks why, tell him that when he phases, the clothes will brake 36. When he looks at you like ur a reatard, explain that Alice would finally have an excause to bite him... 37. Nessie will give him a massage...coz shes a hot rock!! 38. Casually drop Cullenism into any conversation 39. Dont let him make imprintism and/or muttism and/or pupism 40.Tell him that both Team Switzland and Team Edward are bigger then Team Jaocb... 41. Show him NM and/or BD 42. Explain to him how much you skipped and why... 43. Show him my icon!! 44. Buy him your 'edited version' of John Tucker Must Die 45. Run like hell when he relizes John Tucker has been replaced by himself in the poster 46. According to the books, and his and Bella's 'age scale', he's a 30-Year-Old-Virgin... 47. Ask him if he's a christian 48. Whatever he says, tell him your Cullenism 49. Repeat 39 50. Tell him that you hate him so much that actually you: A. Bothered to write this, B. Actaully bother to copy and post this onto your profile or C. You bothered to read this! BTW: I'm Team Switzerland, but I still think it's funny!! =) THE DUMB EMMETT SECTION!! This section is for people like Emmett: Who need a (very big) push in the right direction... IM TLK: TWILIGHT EDITION!! BFHNSE: Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Eddie! :Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Emmett! BFHNSJ: Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Jasper! EAMC: Edward Antony Mason Cullen/Sex God IDGAC: I Dont Give A Cullen OMC: Oh My Carlisle OME: Oh My Edward/Eddie OMDE: Oh My Dazzling Edward/Eddie Tw: Twilight NM: New Moon Ec: Eclipse BD: Breaking Dawn MS: Midnite Sun In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goo -On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". -On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. EMMETT'S SECTION ENDS HERE!! If you've ever asked a question that the person your asking couldn't possibly know the answer to, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile I also found this: Did you know that not everyone can lick their elbow? Did you know that 70 of people reading this will try to lick their elbows right now! The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism Bella: Do I ever cross your mind? Edward: No Bella: Do you like me? Edward: No Bella: Do you want me? Edward: No Bella: Would you cry if I left? Edward: No Bella: Would you live for me? Edward: No Bella: Would you do anything for me? Edward: No Bella: Choose--me or your life Edward: My life Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life...Now! Sozzy, I had to add the 'now' bit!! I get tempted too much... If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile I know that everyone now has this but I still think it's cool! It's kinda like Edward and Bella, although, Bella would already have the helmet on not to mention everything that even looked like skin would be padded and that would also be padded you know, Bella being Bella, and Edward would be doing way more then 100mph! Also, Edward wouldn't crash the bike or die. Bella would do cliff diving if he died anyway so there would be no point in this! But it's still COOOOL!! If when you first read this Jacob and Bella and New Moons and Giant Empty Holes come to mind; You are NOT alone!! A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste This is also one of the cutest things ever written (apart from a bronze haired someone I know)!! If this doesn't touch you THEN YOUR NOT A VAMPIRE!! One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies... The girl asked the guy to pull over because she wanted to talk... She told him that her feelings had changed and it was time to move on... A silent tear slid down his cheek as he reached into his pocket and passed her a folded note... At that moment a drunk driver was speeding down the very same street... He swerved right into the driver's seat killing the boy. Miraculously the girl survived... Remembering the note she pulled it out & read it... It said: "Without your love I would die" Depressed? Crying? Then you need emotional therpy. I know this gr8 therapist called Jasper Hale... This is for people like Rosalie who need more confidence... If you had to read that other bit again then you need to learn irony and sarcasm... Girls FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter Reminder (trust me, you'll need this reminder: I did!!) If you want to almost kill yourself so Carlisle or any other Cullen will save you, do it when it's NOT sunny! And not just when you're crossing the road and think it's a good idea!! Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." "People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door." I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn) Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT! Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. "I cause cancer. Tee hee." Multiple 'People' I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! "If you know me, chances are you hate me." Anonymous "Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." Anonymous Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." Anonymous "The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." Anonymous "Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad." Anonymous "Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears." Anonymous "If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?" Anonymous "Friends are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them, but they always stick together." Anonymous "I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." Anonymous "Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." Anonymous Tell the truth and run. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. Education is important, school however, is another matter. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it? "When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade" You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Don't mess with me I've got a stick I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." "Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it." "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else" "Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real." "I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not." "Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?" "What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy." "Guns don't kill people. I do." "A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'" "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you." "Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Ever had writers block when talking? Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it. "This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence." People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. Straight is something crooked that was bent. Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager grls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong. I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s including Bella Disorder. AV is Addicted to Vampires ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back! An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile I agree when people say girls rule now and 4ever. Copy & paste this in your profile if you agree 98 percent of teens have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent that hasn't, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this into you profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your @ off. (Heck YEAH!) If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten your own name, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE! If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever fallen upstairs, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you easily finish one novel a day, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you believe that 42 percent of statistics are made up on the spot, C&P If, when you have a girl, you'll seriously consider naming her Isabella...copy/paste this into your profile If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile. If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy/paste this into your profile. If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile. If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile. 90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile. If you have ever run into a mirror...copy/paste this into your profile. If every locker you have ever had/have hates you and wouldn't/doesn't open up for you...copy/paste this into your profile. If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile. If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune... If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever not known where you were when there was a sign right next to you, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile. What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad, follow her Lessons Learned in Twilight: 1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try. First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it! 1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want. 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots. 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!) 6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key for the game... 1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game. 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 4. You care most about the person you put in 4. 5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. 10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true... If you don't it will become the opposite. Edward vs Normal guys. A normal guy would say: “I love you Baby!” Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.” Normal Guy would say: “You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!” A normal guy would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you. If you die, a normal guy would find another. As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!” As you come back to the house, a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice. A normal guy would wait for you to make him breakfast. While you are both out for dinner, a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the sexy waitress. A normal guy, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio. While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.” A normal guy wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares. A normal guy buys you flowers and chocolates. Boy: Baby, we need to talk Girl: Kyle, what do you mean? Boy: Something has come up... Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad? Boy: I dont want to hurt you, baby. Girl: (-thinks- Oh my god...I hope he doesn't break up with me... I love him so much) Boy: Baby, are you there?? Girl: Yeah I'm here; what is so important?? Boy: I'm not sure if I should say... Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me. Boy: I'm leaving... Girl: Baby, what are you talking about?? I don't want you to leave me; I love you. Boy: Not like that, I mean, I'm moving far away. Girl: Why? All of your famliy lives over here. Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away. Girl: I can't believe this! FATHER: (picks up the other fone, interrupts & yells furiously) ERIKA, what did I tell you about talking to boys?!...Get off the damn fone!! (And hangs up) Boy: Wow...your father sounds really mad. Girl: You know how he gets, but, anyways, I don't want you to go. Boy: Would you run away with me? Girl: Baby, you know I would; I would do anything for you, but I can't...You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me !! Boy: (sad) It's okay, I understand, I guess.. Girl: (-thinking- I can't believe what's going on) Boy: I need to give you something tonight because I am leaving on flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now. Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park. Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes. --They meet at a nearby park, they both hug each other. And he gives her a note.-- Boy: Here you go, this is for you, I gotta go. Girl: -tear- (begins to cry) Boy: Baby, don't cry, you know I love you...but I have to go. Girl: Okay (begins to walk away) They both go back home. And Erika begins to read the letter he gave her. It says... Erika, You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you; I hated you so much, you are my bitch, and don't you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I love you. Now that I'm leaving, I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the right thing, and you were never there. I didn't think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be tha last thing you have from me. I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye. Erika begins to cry. She throws the paper in the garbage & crys for hours. ...A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call... Friend: How are you feeling? Girl: I just can't believe this happened; I thought he loved me... Friend: Oh, about that, Kyle left me a message a few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something... Girl: (confused) Ummm...okay? She finds a piece of paper in the jacket. It says... Baby, I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your Dad might read it, so I switched a few words... Hate = Love Never = Always Bitch = Baby Will not= Will ... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go, that's why I wanted you to run away with me... -Kyle Girl: Oh my god! It's a letter! Kyle does love me!! He must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!! Friend: LOL, okay but I got to go... Call me later. Girl: -happy- Okay, bye! I'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me !! ... Erika turns the T.V. on... Breaking news 'An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for Survivors...This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80...it was on its way to an all boys boarding school...' Reporter says. She turns off the tv...3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Kyle was dead & she had nothing to live for... ...A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Kyle, he called to leave a message. 'Its Kyle, I guess your not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive. I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried, I am staying for good. Sorry if you got scared, I promise to make it up to you! Everything will be okay! I love you so much...call me A.S.A.P! Bye!' If you like this story, and think it has a point or anything along those lines, PLEASE just simply Copy & Paste... It's not that hard... anyways...hope you enjoyed. :( :) ?? This story is so sad. If it doesn't touch your heart at least a little, you must be made of stone. (I thank DANZNQUEEN for this...) I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me." "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart (It touched mine. So I posted it.) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Here's some random questions for you to ponder over... Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Can Bald people have Hairline fractures? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Reasons why girls are the best: Sometimes, I wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me. Parents spend the first half of your life teaching you to walk and talk, and the other half telling you to sit down and shut up. Smile. It confuses people. "Help! I've fallen and I can't--Hey! Nice carpet!" There are no stupid questions...just stupid people. You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor. Flying is very simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends. It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same. He who laughs last didn't get it. We can take a lesson from Crayons. Some are sharp(most aren't, though), some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are unique, but they all learn to live Don't look at me in that tone! Act your Age, not your shoe size. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh harder. I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me? It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone! (hee hee. I frequently tell people that...right before slapping them.) Why spell it out to you if I can scream it in your face? When life gives you lemons, make Grape juice, sit back, and watch the world wonder how you did it. If you can't beat them, join them How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged? Am I the only sane person? Your mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then it's gone. The past is just the future with the lights on. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? "Secret Admirers" are just stalkers with stationary. Sarcasm is your mind's natural defense against stupidity. Death is God's way of saying "You're fired." If you know me, chances are, you hate me. Sticks and Stones can break my bones, I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! HOMOPHOBIA IS STUPID!! I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday. THAT'S FUCKED UP! IF YOU BELIEVE HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG...REPOST THIS. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Not Funny" It's funny how 'hello' is always accompanied with 'goodbye'. by Unknown XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Calling me Fake, won't make you Real. -Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over If you have ever suddenly find yourself singing for no reason, copy this and put it on ur profile. (I've done it about a million times. he he) If you wish Emmett was your big brother, copy and paste this to your profile. If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile. If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile. If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. have you ever had one of those days SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again... What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. and i'm the kind of girl that lies awake at night It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls. i don't know about you, but i'd be pretty terrified if a 400 lb. glass of kool-aid ran into my house screaming 'OHH YEAH!!' in twenty years, i'm going to be in the grocery store and i'll be in the milk aisle the voices may not be real but they have some pretty good ideas... hello daddy: him: i don't know why you wear a bra...you have nothing to put in it. one night a father overheard his son saying his prayers did you know that if you say 'gullible' slowly it sounds like 'green beans'? i'm not a stalker; i'm just curious we do it in the bed, on the couch, on the table. heck! we even do it in the car! me and my friends get high on snapple and chocolate chip cookies and we think its cool i hate it when people ask Take Time To Read Each Sentence This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line OMG! guess what!? Dear Mommy, I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap. He loves me and I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Love, Your Baby Girl SniffSniff SoOo SaD If you think that abortion is wrong and as terrible as it really is A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. She was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." You're never alone... 93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it. Don't be one of those people. Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you. XXX If Jesus is your Savior, copy this onto your profile. Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile Repost this if you truly believe in God. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.’ If you've ever fallen down the stairs/tripped and laughed because it was something Bella would do, then you cried cause' Edward wasn't there to catch you, you know the drill. If you like chocolate as much as I do (which is ALOT), you know the drill. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, you know the drill. If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, you know the drill. If your profile is long, copy and paste this in it to make it even longer. If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, you know the drill. If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, you know the drill. If you think those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, you know the drill. If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, you know the drill. If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, you know the drill. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, you know the drill. If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, you know the drill. (Not like he needs anymore anyway...) If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, you know the drill. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, you know the drill. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...you know the drill. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, you know the drill. (Gets really aggravating after a while...) If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN you know the drill. (Right after I finished reading the sign...) If you've ever walked into a wall before you know the drill. (Stupid immobile walls...) If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', then what is the opposite of 'progress'? If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) you know the drill. (All the time...) If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, you know the drill. (Yup, usually during awkward or normal silences...) If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, you know the drill. If you complian that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, you know the drill. (...Guilty...) If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, you know the drill. (Only if the martians don't give them back) If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, you know the drill. If you have music in your soul, you know the drill. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile. If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, you know the drill. If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, you know the drill. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, you know the drill. Good Friend: Will help you cry when you are rejected by a boy BEST Friend: Will go up to the boy and say ‘Its because you’re gay, isn’t it?’ Good Friend: Asks nicely for your stuff BEST Friend: Shouts ‘GIMME!!’ Good Friend: Waits to call you until a reasonable hour BEST Friend: Calls you at 2 in the freaking morning FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." YES I AM RANDOM. YES. DEAL WITH MY RANDOM-NESS. AND MY REGULAR HYPER-NESS. The copy & pastes, yano you love 'em!! If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time like ME, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! (Ihave ADHD!! And proud of it!! :) If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX You start eating ‘Bella’s’ food. When your maths teacher says your gonna lear trig you look at your friend and say ‘TRIG’ Ditto Biology You have twilightous, a disease that makes you addictied to twilight When you go to the doctor’s you tell your mom that you want a different doctor. When she asks why you say ‘Cos’ his name’s not Carlisle, he doesn’t have a wife called esme, or adopt any children and he’s NOT A VAMPIRE’ When you watch hospital programs and someone is dying you scream ‘CARLISLE SAVE THEM!’ You have the whole official twilight soundtrack on your iPod/ MP3 You have read loads of these lists And reviewed them And realized that they were pretty much all true Twilight has bought you and your best friend so much closer You growl a lot more And have learnt how to pounce You insult your brother/ sister by saying there a werewolf/vampire (depending on what you are) And by saying they smell like werewolf/ vampire You insult your friend by saying she’s a dog And she growls at you When you told your friend she laughed at you Cos’ she’s team Jacob and said it was her movie You have pictures of the twilight boys around your room When you did a geography project you wanted Kellan Lutz to be your sponser But your stupid friends said no =( You go on fanfiction like everydoor to see if the twilight story’s you have subscribed to have any updates And get sad when they don’t You looked for Wuthering Heights in you library And got sad when they didn’t have it But are now happy cos’ you found it today =) When you saw the film ‘The Lost Boys’ you kept saying ‘Keh soo stereotypical!’ You were so happy when they announced that they were gonna keep Taylor Lautner as Jacob In fact you screamed You can relate ANYTHING to twilight Whenever you see/find glitter you pour it over yourself And everyone else When you were in history and saw a husky on a video you and your friend went ‘IT’S JACOB!’ When someone says vampires and werewolves aren’t real, you shout at them and give them a lecture You leave your window open for Edward at night If you ever get a dog you know your gonna call it Jacob, Quil, Embry, Seth etc… You search EVERYWHERE for silver Volvo’s or any of the other cars in twilight And told your dad you want a yellow Porsche for your 18th birthday And he laughed at you And you sulked for days You want to buy contacts in the colour of; butterscotch or red Apple’s are now your favorite fruit And whenever you have one you hold it the twilight way On your bebo, facebook or whatever you put your location as Forks Or Isle Esme Or La Push You and your friend want to go to twilight college And if one doesn’t exist…well it should And if you did got there you would totally get A in like EVERY area You wrote on you science work Lauren Ashley Cullen (or your name lol) When you watched P.S. I love you, you screamed at the women cos’ one of her job options was vampire slayer You think van helsing is Gay! And he obviously never met Edward Cullen You got jealous of your friends mom because she read twilight but your mom refuses. Cos she knows how obsessed you are And reefer’s to twilight as ‘That vampire thing’ When your in the car and your parent’s are driving you say ‘Why are we going so slow’ And they look at you weirdly cos’ there going at 70MPH You think they could have cast bella better By picking you! You have random conversations by yourself with the twilight characters And have to admit that they do give a good conversation And when you tell your mom she laughs at you Ditto with the rest of your family You think your life sucks? Well, I'm in love with a 165 year old, non-existent vampire named JASPER HALE "Join the Vampires; we have Jasper Whitlock Cullen Hale." Crap, that's a lot of last names. Emmett's the Strongest, I'll stαч up tιll TШILIGHT NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile I used to be norma Way to know you are obsessed with Twilght! Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc... Twilight I keep trying to kidnap Jasper but Alice is always at his window with a bat waiting for me. How does she kn- OH Right... So let me get this straight. FORKS is a real town but EDWARD CULLEN is a fictional character. Why can't it be the other way around?? CULLENISM: my new religion When YOU Meet A GUY AT WORK Named Edwin Kullen AND See IT AS A SIGN Destiny tried to take my twilight books. Destiny isn’t with us anymore. Definition of Twilight Twilight; the reason girl across the world are suddenly and madly in love with vampires. Whenever I get happy or calm all of a sudden I look around for jasper. Team Edward cause Jacob doesn’t sparkle. Do that again and ill give you a paper cut in front of Jasper. Ashley: Do I ever cross your mind? Igor/Chase: No Ashley: Do you like me? Igor/Chase: No Ashley: Do you want me? Igor/Chase: No Ashley: Would you cry if I left? Igor/Chase: No Ashley: Would you live for me? Igor/Chase: No Ashley: Would you do anything for me? Igor/Chase: No Ashley: Choose--me or your life Igor/Chase: My life Ashley runs away in shock and pain and Igor/Chase (lol Chase chases after her) runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile (if only it were real. :( ) Hello! I'm Ashley! And Edward and I's wedding is on the sixteenth of April because that's when we met and your invited. Feel Free to bring gifts, But please no food products or tosters, microwaves, etc. I wont be needing them. And to answer some of your questions about having Edward as a Husband, its amazing. And yes, being rich really does have its perks! Alice is the Best sister you can ask for, despite the fact she is an evil, shopaholic little pixie when she wants to be. Jake and Emmett are the funniest people in the WORLD! And Rosalie's not as bad as you would think. And yes Lauran is an even Bigger Bitch in person. Edward Also Freqently makes New lullabys for me There beautful and Jake is still single so if you want I could give you his number! Let me Know ;) Watch my little skits Me: I think, wait no. I KNOW I own twilight Edward: really? Me: OMG ITS EDWARD CULLEN! I LOVE U! Edward: prove it by saying u dont own twilight Me: (grumbles) fine. I, BFFofCrazyShopoholicPixe-Alice, dont own twilight happy? NOW KISS U ME U IDIOT! Edward: gladly MAKE-OUT SCENE -the end of that skit- -new skit- Me: (reading Twilight) omg this is the best series ever! Emmett: Dont u know it! Me: OMG ITS EMMETT CULLEN!! Alice and Edward: and us!! Me: OMG OMG OMG!! Emmett, give me a bear hug, Edward, compose a lullaby for me and kiss me madly, and Alice, take me on a shopping spree! Me: (While everyone is doing what i told them to do) This is the best day ever! -the end of that skit- You say Taylor... EDWARD _ _CULLEN _ ... ... ... Edward Cullen ... ... ... .•(.• •.)•. «•Breaking Dawn•» •.(•. .•).• Bella: Do I Ever Cross Your Mind? Twilight I'm not afraid of bloody murderers I'm not afraid of hell I'm not afraid of clowns trying to kill me I'm not afraid of nightmares I'm not afraid of crazy people I'm not afraid of werewolf's I'm only afraid of vampires with red eyes. "Something" since 19-Something's (18-Something in Jasper's Case) Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901 Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916 Rosalie Hale: Better Than You Since 1916 Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You Since 1901 Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843 Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987 You know you're obsessed with Twilight when... 1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. ATTENTION PLEASE!! PEOPLE!! EMMETT'S NAME IS SPELLED "E-M-M-E-T-T" NOT "E-M-M-E-T" OR "E-M-E-T-T!!" STEPHENIE MEYER SPELLED HIS NAME WITH 2 M's AND 2 T's!! PLEASE REMEMBER THIS!! (\_/) PUT THIS ON YOUR PAGE Put this on your channel I've done all these things =) If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile-- hehehehe ( done it) If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you went to sleep at around 2 am or later reading the Twilight books, copy and paste this onto your profile. done it If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your proflie. he does rock For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it.Crazy is when you try to make up the twilight characters signatures. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day. Crazy is when you stand all quiet like for twenty seconds before screaming for no reason besides to just freak out your friends. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! Friends And Best Friends Friends: Will comfort you when he rejects you. Friends: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. Friends: Help you up when you fall. Friends: Help you find your prince. Friends: Will ask you why you are crying. Friends: Will offer you something to drink. Friends: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. Friends: Give you their umbrella in the rain. Friends: Will help you move. Friends: Will bail you out of jail. Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. Friends: Would pick you up from jail. Friends: Have never seen you cry. Friends: Tell you that you look nice. Friends: Forgive you. Friends: Annoy you. Friends: Will say goodbye and hang up when they are out of things to say. Friends: Laugh with you. Friends: Ask you to write down your number. Friends: Borrow your stuff and give it back after a few days. Friends: Only know a few things about you. Friends: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. Friends: Have to be told not to tell anyone. Friends: Know few secrets about you. Friends: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you have had enough. Friends: Would try to put out the fire in your house. Friends: Will pick you up when you are down. Friends: Have to ask why you are crying. Friends: Will say you can do better. Friends: Call you your name or a simple nickname. Friends: Will send you to rehab. Friends: Like you. Friends: Are only temporary. Friends: Will ring your doorbell and wait patiently. Best Friends: Will pound on your door incessantly until you open it fifteen seconds later and say, "This situation could have been avoided if you had simply left your door unlocked!" Friends: Will agree to a game of cards. Best Friends: Will agree, then proceed to suggest 52-pickup and begin the game before you agree. Friends: Will help you when your confused. Best Friends: Will act like nothings wrong but use "small words". Friends: Will let you sleep in as late as you want after you fall asleep at four. Best Friends: Will wake you up half an hour later simply because they drank too much coffee and can't sleep and feel you should share their punishment. Friends: Will stay on the phone with you as long as you need to talk. Best Friends: Will stay on the phone until they arrive at your house and will then stay there until you kick them out four days later when you are completely recovered. Friends: Will tell you not to ask a stupid question in class. Best Friends: Will ask the question for you and loudly proclaim that it was you who wanted to know in the first place. Friends: Will give you a cookie when your down. Best Friends: Will help you plan revenge... Friends: Will asks nicely for your stuff. Best Friends. Will just shout ‘GIMME!!’ Friends: Will help you with your drug problem. Best Friends: Are the ones who sold it to you. Friends: Will wait to call you until a reasonable hour. Best Friends: Will call you at 2 in the freaking morning. Don't follow me... I'm lost too. I'm smiling because they haven't found the bodies yet. I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as I do. One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it? It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it. If life gives you lemons, throw them back, and yell I WANT EDWARD CULLEN Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust? One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me? 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your 3 best friends. If it's not one of them...it's you. We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just jumped off a bridge...damn, I'm gonna miss your sorry ass. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day. Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. I'm going to live forever, or die trying. If I had something good to say, I would have already said it. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice? They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Perfection is a waste of time. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face. Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow? I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse! There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Tell your boyfriend's pants it's not polite to point. Patience is not a virtue, it is a waste of time. Not Funny" It's funny how 'hello' is always accompanied with 'goodbye'. 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with a lot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, MiniBellaSwan,CarleeCreater101,Chicago1918, Squeaky Bella If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes post this on your profile. (It's this writing and reading stuff, its not my fault!) If You Are 100 Percent Team Edward, copy and paste this into your profile. "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days" I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. "I believe die bitch conveys my feelings properly" "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." A girl asked a boy, “Do you think I’m pretty?” The Man Rules They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am., Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part- Still Having a Bad Day?? A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. And always remember... 1. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 2. Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? 3. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? 4. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 5. What disease did cured ham actually have? 6. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 7. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? 8. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 9. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 10. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 11. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. 12. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? 13. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 14. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? 15. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool LANE? 16. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can' he fix a hole in a boat? 17. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! 18. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? 19. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? 20. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? 21. Do the "Alphabet song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune? 22. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? 23. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your Ass? 24. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? |
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