this is for me or anyone else that want to read a story thats not mine or on my favs cos it not on fan fic - kharizzmatik-ep.blogspot.com (google it!)

I'm female and I live in England.

Random fact about me: I'm a dog person.

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not give you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God