REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.

From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.

Tom and the Absolution
1997-2008

A great Character and a funny host you will live on forever in this.

If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32, The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, DarkSamuraiX1999 foxgoddess07, thymistacles, chaosthesith89, Darth Void Sage of the Force, Tokero6294

I love sasuke bashing but i also like when sasuke and naruto are friends but it has to be where they've been friends since they were little, it just makes more sense then a total 180 flip in personality

THE WE LOVE SASUKE-BASHING CLUB: If you hate Sasuke from NARUTO and love making him suffer, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Kinomi-chan, EstherAngelofDeath, 9shadowcat9, AkatsukiMascot, VampireArgonian92, Kanervdss, Shinonigga, GravityTheWizard, Thymistacles, LScott of Faith,Horocrux, Mystic 6 tailed Naruto, viscious aggression 101, Darth Void Sage of the Force, Tokero6294

also for the perverted giggling in Naruto stories, i cant help but think about Clank's (from Ratchet & Clank [great game BTW]) laugh.. just the HEHEHEHE..lol cant help it!

Sick HP quote from "In this World and the Next" by robst- Harry sat back down but a clearly upset toad could hear the sniggering all around her and wouldn't let it go, "Mr Potter, I am Dolores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic. I will not be spoken to in that manner by a mere boy."

Harry stood slowly, knowing every eye was on him. Dumbledore was watching keenly and he'd noticed McGonagall, incredibly accompanied by Remus in the public box. The Hogwarts approach must also be coming today so he thought he'd better make it look good. "I am Lord Harry James Potter, last scion of the Noble and Ancient House of Potter, banisher of the Dark Lord Voldemort. Who the fuck are you to call me boy? If you're insulted then I offer you the chance to duel, before or after you bring out Black. Either way, can we get on with this, I didn't think anyone could procrastinate worse than Dumbledore but it seems I might be wrong."

The toad wouldn't give it up though, "If the fiction in the press is to be believed, I understand you have no wand. How do you purpose to duel?"

BTW in this part hes eleven years old rofl

The Stupidest Things On Products

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)

On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Aw, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food!?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).

On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos!: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?)

On a Korean knife: “Keep out of children” (I should bloody well hope so!)

Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"(That means you, Hulk! Put that bloody airplane down, you might drop it!)

Scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (Again, I should bloody well hope so!)

Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children." (Good thing babies aren't children, isn't it!)

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yeah. My grandmother died because she thought my hair dye was ice-cream topping and put it in a sundae)

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (OMG!! That's as amazing as a newsreader reading the news!)

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.)

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." (Did someone do this once...?)

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (No. Duh. Sherlock)

found this in "HP-DG-SB-RR-HA-TD-LL-KB-AJ-NT"'s and i loved it

Most epic reason for why your late:I got lost on the road of life. But then I found this signboard with directions! I followed the directions for days until I realised that the sign was upside down! so I went back fixed the sign and finally got back! I'm awesome!

69 Ways to Know If You Are a Douchebag

The worst thing about douchebags is that they seem to be spreading. As being stupid and listening to shitty music become more popular, more guys have been going to "salons" for manicures, spray-on tans, or both. Don't allow yourself to become a douchebag! Read our list of possible douchebag symptoms, if you find yourself guilty of anything here, you have a few options: 1.) Stop performing that action! It will move you in the right direction to becoming a functioning member of society. Or 2.) End your own life. For the good of society, please prevent this from becoming an unstoppable epidemic.

You are probably a douchebag if...

1.) You Wear Sunglasses At Night

2.) You Refuse To Wear T-Shirts Since They Are "Un-Collar-Poppable"

3.) You Get Offended By "My New Haircut"

4.) You Wear A Shirt Infrequently

5.) You Refer To Girls As "Bitties"

6.) You Own A Comb That You Carry On You At All Times

7.) You Go Tanning

8.) You Own More Than 10 Pairs Of Flip Flops

9.) You Think Dane Cook Is God

10.) You Work At Abercrombie And Fitch And Are Older Than 19

11.) You Own An Abercrombie And Fitch Credit Card

12.) You Order Salad As An Entree

13.) You Own Neckwear And It's A Crucifix But You Haven't Been To Church Since Christmas And You Love Drinking And Pre-Marital Sex

14.) You Start Fights Over The Best Brand Of Whey Protein

15.) You Start Fights In General

16.) You Only Drink Coors Light

17.) You Refer To Things You Don't Like As "Gay"

18.) You've Worn A Basketball Jersey To School

19.) You Mooch Off Your Parents And Still Treat Them Like Crap

20.) You Own A Scarface Poster

21.) Your Computer's Wallpaper Is A Naked Girl

22.) You Prominently Display Condoms In Your Room

23.) The Amount Of Books You've Read Is Less Than The Amount Of Cell Phones You've Owned

24.) You Refer To Your Male Friends As Your "Boys" On A Regular Basis

25.) You've Spent More Than 5 Minutes "Pimping Out" Your Myspace Page

26.) You Refer To Your Myspace Page As "Pimped Out"

27.) You Put Rims On The Camry Your Dad Bought You

28.) You Still Quote Anchorman, Old School, and Napoleon Dynamite

29.) You "Love The Yankees" But Can Only Name A-Rod And Derek Jeter As Currently Playing For Them

30.) You've Said Your Frat Is "Just Like The One In Animal House, Bro"

31.) You've Ever Worn Just A Wife Beater Anywhere

32.) You Claim To Be Italian Although You've Never Been To Italy And Your Last Native Italian Relative Came To America In 1900

33.) The Amount Of Hair Gel On Your Head Could Properly Lubricate An M-1 Abrams Tank

34.) You've Ever Complimented Another Guy On How Ripped His "Pecs Look"

35.) You Own "Growing Up Gotti" On DVD

36.) You've Ever Purchased Pre-Ripped Jeans Solely Because You Love The Pre-Ripped Look

37.) You Sport This Haircut:

38.) You're In This Picture:

39.) You Think Your Life Is Remarkably Similar To "Entourage" and have ever said "You KNOW that'll be us someday, bro."

40.) You've Ever Taken A Picture Of Yourself Shirtless For The Purpose Of Distributing It On The Internet

41.) You've Ever Said "I Liked That Band BEFORE They Were Famous"

42.) You Started Taking Guitar Lessons Simply So You Could Play Dave Matthews Band's "Crash" At Parties

43.) You Yell "Freebird!" At Every Concert You Attend

44.) Your Wallet Is Attached To Your Pants Via Wallet Chain You Bought At Hot Topic

45.) In Every Picture Of You, You Flash The Backwards "Peace Sign"

46.) You Work At Hot Topic And Are Older Than 19

47.) You Shop At Hot Topic

48.) You've Ever Blamed Climate Change On "Those Republican Assholes" But Haven't Changed Your Lifestyle In Any Way To Combat The Effects Of Global Warming

49.) You Wear The Shirt Of The Band You're Going To See

50.) You Check Out Your "Guns" In The Reflection Of Parked Car Windows

51.) The Name Of Your Car Is Pasted Across The Windshield

52.) You Own More Than Zero Pairs Of "Crocs"

53.) You Spend More Time At The Gym Than You Do Working At A Job

54.) The Majority Of Your Sentences Begin And End With The Words "Dude" "Bro" And/Or "Yo."

55.) You Become Absurdly Angry When A Teammate On Your Recreational Softball/Rollerhockey/Flag Football Team Makes An imperfect Play

56.) Your Hollister Co. Shirt Would Be Snug On A Kindergartner

57.) You Reminisce About How Awesome Your High School Gym Class Touch Football Team Was

58.) You Have A Bumper Sticker That Says "Tell your girlfriend I said thanks."

59.) You Have Pictures Of Muscular Guys In Your Room And Justify It By Saying, "Yo dude, it's just for motivation, bro," And No One Questions You Because You're Being Completely Honest

60.) You're Violently Protective Of Your Community College

61.) You're Chugging A Beer In Your Facebook Picture

62.) You're Not Wearing A Shirt In Your Facebook Picture

63.) You're Chugging A Beer Whilst Shirtless In Your Facebook Picture

64.) The Amount Of Jewelry You Own Would Make Xerxes From "300" Jealous

65.) You Own More Than Zero Flat Brimmed Baseball Caps

66.) Your Chest Is Bigger Than Your Girlfriends

67.) You Cock Your Head In Every Picture Taken Of You

68.) You Always Do The Hand-Shake-Hug Even With People Who You Probably Shouldn't

69.) You've Been Able To Emphatically Answer Yes To More Than A Good Amount Of What I've Just Listed

this is not mine.. saw this on Kenchi618's profile and i ROFL'd at it

Nome said "A Female always believe she makes the rules which are subject to change without notice and no male can know or understand all the rules and should a man appear to be right the female must change the rules immediately in order to prove the female is never wrong, just that the male did not understand what she was meaning, thinking, or saying when her actions or words testify that you were right to begin with before she changed the rules. She can change her mind at any time without notice and the male must oppologies for his mistake in not understanding. You must do what she wants, not what she says at all times and you need to be able to read her mind without her knowing and if she has PMS...well, I rather be stuck in a volcano being burned alive then try to figure out a womans mind at that time."

this is not mine its in Maveric9871's Uzumaki Legacy, Naruto clan BTW no matter what anyone says THIS IS TRUE!!! if this isnt true why would there be a saying that says "Hell hath no fury like a women scorned"?

The Laws of Anime

#1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

#3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

#8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

#14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

#17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

#18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

#20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

#21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

#22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

#24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

#25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

#28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

#34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

#35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

#36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

#37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

#44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

#45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toasted.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
b) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toasted.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklines- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

again not mine found this on Drakai's profile and thought it was awsome

BTW WHOEVER MADE THIS IS GOD!!!!