Name: Butz Krauser

Age: What's age when you can run freely in the wind?

Gender: Butz

Status: Nonexistent, but I'm going on an adventure soon to fix this. Honest!

Favorite Food: The beads on Exdeath's belt/skirt-thingy.

Favorite Movie: Gone With the Wind

Favorite Book: The Wind in the Willows

Favorite Game: Dissidia: Final Fantasy

Favorite Nonexistent Game: Final Fantasy V

Favorite People: Boko, Squall, Fat Chocobo, Zidane, TheGreatExodus

Hobbies: Running, jogging, power walking, adventuring, and talking!

About me:

Hi! I'm Butz! I like running, jogging, power walking, adventuring, and talking! It's great fun when I go on adventures with my friends! We go running and jogging and power walking! It's great! Wheee! I'm a really great guy who loves to be one with the wind. I'm really peppy and talkative, plus relaxed. Nothing ever gets me stressed or down; not even the end of the world!

When I grow up, I want to be a great adventurer like my hero, Bartz Klauser. I keep dreaming of the day when I'll be all set to go out and find the Void! Then, I'll get to fight monsters and stuff! It'll be awesome! We'll get to run across valleys and stuff, and even get to cross big bridges! Then, I'll get to play cards and fish with my pals in the Void!

In my spare time, I like to take long walks on the Big Bridge.

You know you're nonexistent when:

- No one knows your name

- You have no birth certificate

- Your parents were never born

- People shoot you dead whenever you open your mouth to say "Hi!" in order to prevent a time paradox

- Your best friend ripped open a rift in the time-space continuum in order to find an actual, existing universe for him and his dog but not for you

- You went on a quest to save the world, but everyone only remembers the pirate guy who turned out to be a princess in disguise

I'm a MAIN CHARACTER, so I MUST be popular with the ladies.

I'm a LEAD HERO, so I MUST know how to put a plan together and make it work.

I was DESIGNED BY YOSHITAKA AMANO, so people MUST know who I am.

I'm a FREE SPIRIT, so I MUST know the secret to life.

I'm a RUNNER, so I MUST be a coward.

I'm the LEAD HEROINE, so I MUST be in love with the lead hero.

I'm an INNOCENT FLOWER GIRL, so I MUST be killed after the second act.

I'm a PIRATE, so I MUST be a secret princess in disguise.

I don't WEAR ARMOR, so I MUST be a cheapskate with party funds.

I have a GUNBLADE, so I MUST be a moody, depressed, conflicted cop/leader.

I ride CHOCOBOS, so I MUST have chocobo lice and a permanent smell that doesn't wash out.

I have SPIKY HAIR, so I MUST defy the laws of physics.

I was SUMMONED BY COSMOS, so I MUST know what I'm doing.

I'm a FURRY CLANSMAN, so I MUST be useless in battle.

I'm an ENGINEER, so I MUST be a blue collar hick with no manners and foul language.

I have a BIG SWORD, so it MUST be heavy.

I WALK EVERYWHERE, so I MUST be a hobo or too cheap to hire a buggy.

I'm a SUMMONER, so I MUST talk to animals.

I'm a WARRIOR, so I MUST know how to parry.

I'm a BLACK MAGE, so I MUST have made a pact with the devil.

I'm a WHITE MAGE, so I MUST give a damn about your health.

I'm a RED MAGE, so I MUST be a reject from the other two schools of magic.

I'm a BLUE MAGE, so I MUST be the weakest member on the team.

I'm a DRAGOON, so I MUST NOT be afraid of heights.

I'm a TACTICIAN, so I MUST pour poison in the food supply when no one's looking.

I'm a SAMURAI, so I MUST be eager to throw my life away to protect you.

I'm a KNIGHT, so I MUST wield Excalibur.

I'm a THIEF, so I MUST be happy, peppy, perky, and hyper all the time.

I'm an ATHLETE, so I MUST be a pompous pretty-boy who wants to go home to his adoring fans.

I'm UNDEAD, so I MUST be vulnerable to holy magicks.

I'm a SOLDIER, so I MUST be able to do a thousand squats in five minutes.

I'm a SEED, so I MUST get a paycheck for playing card games and riding trains.

I'm a THEATER ACTOR, so I MUST not have an in-depth, extraterrestrial backstory.

I'm an ESPER, so I MUST want to kill all humans.

I'm an AIRSHIP, so I MUST NOT have any feelings of my own.