Status: Hiatus (probably... maybe... somewhat?)

Personality: I'm sarcastic, lazy, and an ass, now, who wants to be my friend?

Name: I go by many names, some of them not appropriate around here...

Manga/Anime: Dude, too many to name.

Religion: Athiest, or you know, whatever benefits me at the time.

Quotes ('cause you couldn't have figured that out yourself)

-"Life is like stepping onto a boat in which you know is about to sail out to sea and sink."

-"A question that sometimes drive's me hazy: am I, or the others crazy?"

-"Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most."

-"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not too sure about the former."

-"I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute."

-"I reject your realty, and substitute my own."

-"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

-"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."

-"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

-"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

-"You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because your all the same."

-"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

-"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them."

-"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

-"Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!"

- If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.

- All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun.

- I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.

- Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

- People are like slinkies; basically useless, but so amusing to watch fall/push down the stairs.

- Children in the dark make accidents. Accidents in the dark make children.

- Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths.

- Cute but psycho- things even out.

- I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache.

- I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

- I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

- No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

- I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

- I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

- Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.

- Why do people always say life is short. Life is the longest damn thing you can do.

- Love your enemies. It pisses them off.

- Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

- I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

- I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain- I need that.

- Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect, so why practice?

- Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

- Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

- Shit happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry.

- Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

- I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!

- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

- I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it.

- I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone.

- You have one advantage over me: you can kiss my ass. I cant.

- I can resist anything but temptation.

- Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it.

- All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand.

- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

- I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

- Money can't buy happiness. It just buys everything you need to achieve it.

- Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and then there would have been peace on earth.

- I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

- Don't call me emo, or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain. And then I'll die and it'll be ALL YOUR FAULT.

- Tell the truth and run.

- If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

- Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli', meaning many, and 'tics', as in the bloodsucking creatures?

- If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.

- You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump of a cliff, I laugh even harder.

- Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

- Education is important. School however, is another matter.

- It's not just your family. It's the whole idea of... you know. They're always telling you what to do and what not to do, and it's not conductive to a creative atmosphere!

- Joey ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong?

- All right, all right. If you have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing is right... and that's what deathbeds are for.

- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

- I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it

- I was born intelligent. Education ruined me.

- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are these "others" here for?

- Since light travels faster than sound, it explains why people appear bright until you hear them speak.

- Money isn't everything- there's Mastercard and Visa too.

- Behind every successful man there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

- There should be a better way to start the day than waking up every morning.

- 'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk?

- The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know... so why learn in the first place?

- Reality has no background music... so I make my own (doo do do do do doo)

- Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet

- Life is a test- I didn't take very good notes

- If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms

- You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you

- I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours

- I intend to live forever... so far so good

- So what's the speed of dark?

- I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep

- Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again

- Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you

- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

- The way your mind works gives a whole new meaning to the word complex... and not in a good way

- Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. The rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up

- One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

- A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth while

- I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

- If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

- Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

-In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea ever since.

-There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

-You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.

-The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

-I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

-"Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!"

-If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

-"Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon-perfect."

-"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."

-"England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English."

-"Honey, I liked the Harry Potter movies, too, but that doesn't mean I ran out and got a Dark Mark tattooed onto my left forearm like you did."

-"I've been tense for a couple of days. And I've got to tell you, burning someone's face off sounds like a great way to relax."

-"Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference."

-"Time after time, history demonstrates that when people don't want to believe something, they have enormous skills of ignoring it altogether."

-"Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick..."

-Great Minds Discuss Ideas; Average Minds Discuss Events; Small Minds Discuss People.

-Life is Hard; It's Harder If You're Stupid.

-I am not eccentric. It's just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of goldfish."

-Madness is rare in individuals, but in groups, parties, nations and ages is it the rule.

-It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

-We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

-"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."

-"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

-Let the neighbors think they saw a flying pizza

-Words may hurt me, but sticks and stones will bounce off my force field.

-When I was a kid we had a quicksand box. I was an only child- eventually.

-I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

-To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

-People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

-It's you and me against the world - we attack at dawn.

-People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.

-Doctors say I have multiple personalitys. We disagree with that.

-Sometimes I feel like the whole world's against me. Then I remember that that isn't true- some of the smaller countries are neutral.

-"Originality is the art of concealing your sources."

-"Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain."

-"Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines."

-"I like children. If they're properly cooked."

-Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."

-That's not a haircut, that's a cry for help.

-Why yes, I do spontaneously break out in ninja moves.

-I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.

-Would you like a side of epic with that fail?

-Some people worry about leaving the stove on. I worry about the zombie uprising.

-Just remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

-I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works.

-"People say violence isn't the answer. Well, they're right. Violence is the question. The answer is 'HELL YES'."

-"Flying is not inherently dangerous; crashing is."

-"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"

-There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

-I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

-An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

-That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.

-A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

-There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

-Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

-"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room."

-I didn't lose my mind! I sold it on eBay.

-I'm the kind of person would spend hours trying to drown a fish.

-"I have not lost my mind; it's backed up on a disk somewhere."

-I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do, kill me?

-Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

-"People say laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world!"

-Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry, you're safe.

-I died, and someone made a critical error and now I'm in heaven.

-I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and have conversations with people like you.

-Let's share, I'll take the pin, you take the grenade.

-I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

-If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

-A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

-We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

-I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

-I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

-You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

-Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

-Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.

-Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

-I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.

-I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.”