LazyMasochistBoothide bio
 Author has written 7 stories for Twilight. I have a habit of starting fics but then taking forever to finish them. Oops. Questions? Comments? Advice? Message me on here! I reply to all reviews cause I have too much free time... ALSO, you guys keep me going! I may not be the most famous or well known on here, but I'm a geek and every review makes me do this -- :D EVERY SINGLE ONE. Kay, guess that's it. IF ANY OF MY ONE-SHOTS REACH 100 REVIEWS, IT WILL BE CONTINUED. SO IF YOU LIKED ANY OF THEM, GO AND REVIEW! PEACE! |
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Edroar the Angry Lion by Tropical Sorbet reviews
Edroar the Angry Lion frightens all the girls and boys at Cullen Publishing with his loud roar. Will his new massage therapist Bella Swan run away like all the rest, or can she tame this savage beast? AH/AU OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 153,286 - Reviews: 5185 - Favs: 4,536 - Follows: 6,046 - Updated: 1/1 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Edward, Bella
Chop and Change by Krazyk85 reviews
Caught trying to steal his car, a runaway, Bella, meets Edward. A man with his own vices and long rap sheet. Taking her under his wing and teaching her the way to truly boost cars, they embark on a journey of crime fitting of Bonnie and Clyde. ExB, Lemons, Violence, Guns, and Fun. HEA. BPOV. Watch Trailer on youtube: www. youtube. com /watch? v S5mvlCUXDf8& feature youtube gdata
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 568 - Reviews: 4504 - Favs: 3,070 - Follows: 2,388 - Updated: 5/2/2018 - Published: 7/6/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Slowest Burn by TypoKween reviews
"I don't even realize that the air has gotten hazy. Or that it smells like skunk, or that amidst the clouds of smoke, leaning against the wall is Edward Cullen." - AH, E/B, Lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 351,459 - Reviews: 7576 - Favs: 7,032 - Follows: 7,828 - Updated: 11/30/2017 - Published: 6/12/2011 - Bella, Edward
My Devil by ExquisiteEdward reviews
Bella has a less than stellar love life, that is, until a new neighbor moves in next door. How long will it take her to get over her hatred of the cocky, self-absorbed pervert? All humor, no angst. AH E/B.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10 - Reviews: 2376 - Favs: 2,491 - Follows: 2,355 - Updated: 10/27/2017 - Published: 7/23/2011 - Bella, Edward
An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy by m81170 reviews
A first kiss, a first dance, a first curse word shared between best friends. This is the tale of a boring, young geek and the social pariah who thought the world of him. A tale of growing up. A tale of a Non-Romantic Romance.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 212,915 - Reviews: 15061 - Favs: 8,053 - Follows: 7,048 - Updated: 1/4/2015 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Misadventures of Daisy and Swirl by m81170 reviews
"Daisy bit her lip and nodded, trying hard not to audibly moan. The way Swirl wielded his hammer rendered her speechless." For the moments that boring, young geeks and social pariahs share - snapshots from Swirl and Daisy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 21,390 - Reviews: 1108 - Favs: 1,000 - Follows: 939 - Updated: 1/4/2015 - Published: 6/19/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Betty Chronicles by Emily Bowden reviews
There is an exclusive group known as the Cullens who only allow the most seductive of women into their circle. But their training is not what she thought it would be. Rated MA for lemons & adult content. Cannon couples...eventually...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 849 - Reviews: 2641 - Favs: 1,886 - Follows: 2,433 - Updated: 4/23/2014 - Published: 5/29/2010 - Complete
Bella? Marie? by Nyomixx reviews
Bella knows it's stupid to crush so hard on her boss. But when she's clubbing one night, and he asks for her name, she gives her middle name, Marie, and surrenders to a wild one-night stand, where she's allowed to touch him, and call him 'Edward'. But how will she continue on as his son's nanny? OOC/AH/MA content
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 155,294 - Reviews: 2756 - Favs: 2,600 - Follows: 3,187 - Updated: 9/18/2013 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Bella, Edward
Words with Friends by Nolebucgrl reviews
Bella Swan has a major crush on a major star, Edward Cullen. They have an obsession with the same game. Can they connect through Words with Friends and become more than that? Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 62 - Words: 353,055 - Reviews: 19674 - Favs: 9,662 - Follows: 6,808 - Updated: 4/20/2013 - Published: 4/16/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sideline Collision by Nolebucgrl reviews
A cocky QB runs into a snarky band geek. What happens when they collide on and off the field? Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 196,343 - Reviews: 12658 - Favs: 8,855 - Follows: 6,407 - Updated: 4/11/2013 - Published: 2/15/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Terms and Conditions Apply by TheSaintsMistress reviews
There's only one person on this earth that Edward Cullen hates, and that's his boss...Bella Swan. She's cold. She's ruthless and incapable of human emotion, and to Edward's greatest frustration, the hottest woman walking the face of the planet.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 65,535 - Reviews: 4459 - Favs: 722 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 7/17/2012 - Published: 4/18/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
No Place Like Home by tellingmelies reviews
Edward is forced to leave his playboy life behind in Chicago and come home to Washington, but will he change his ways or risk losing everything? All human, cannon couples, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 255,403 - Reviews: 7259 - Favs: 7,370 - Follows: 5,111 - Updated: 6/19/2012 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Distracted by WoahNow reviews
Bella's thoughts are elsewhere in her English lesson and the detention Mr. Cullen gives her doesn't turn out quite as intended. AH. I advise you only to read this if you are over 18. Warning: Scenes of violence: chapters 9, 10, 23 and 24
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 36 - Words: 181,379 - Reviews: 882 - Favs: 1,064 - Follows: 965 - Updated: 5/16/2012 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Bella, Edward
Grasping Darkness by KiyaRaven reviews
She dreams of darkness. Lust. Passion. The man she fantasizes about has it all, especially the darkness. The problem is, he's not really a man. Rated M for language & dark themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 267,922 - Reviews: 8407 - Favs: 6,150 - Follows: 4,328 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Roommate by MandyLeigh87 reviews
I needed a roommate. What I got was one heck of a problem. AH BxE Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 80,364 - Reviews: 4823 - Favs: 4,549 - Follows: 3,072 - Updated: 2/29/2012 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Evading Edward by VampiresHaveLaws reviews
Bella's first encounter with Edward instantly leads to a mutual dislike. She is the new girl in town who has attracted more than one admirer and he's the boy who usually gets what he wants. So how will one evade when the other is set to conquer? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 366,513 - Reviews: 7774 - Favs: 5,515 - Follows: 3,671 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 9/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Unaccompanied Soul by JMCullen09 reviews
An old, dilapidated hospital residing in the outskirts of Forks, WA sits untouched, yet it's the focus of many tales, including one of a young man who resides there. He's believed to be either ghost or murderer. But it's all just tales, right?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 152,637 - Reviews: 6106 - Favs: 4,524 - Follows: 4,426 - Updated: 2/5/2012 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Edward, Bella
Fuggiasco by kdc2239 reviews
Edward, homeless since age twelve is used to the gritty, hard life. Now twenty, his main goal is to make it in the world, and off the streets. What happens when a girl who seems to be broken beyond repair becomes his new shadow?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 36 - Words: 166,725 - Reviews: 5646 - Favs: 5,364 - Follows: 3,174 - Updated: 1/22/2012 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Chat Roulette by MandyLeigh87 reviews
Bella feels like a nobody at school until a overheard conversation leads her to Chat Roulette. What are the chances she gets paired up with her crush? Very likely. BxE Rated M OS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,727 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 168 - Published: 1/1/2012 - Complete
Bright Like the Sun by dryler reviews
Edward/Bella - WIP, AU, AH, OOC. When Bella goes to live with her father in Forks, things go much better than she expected. At least until a slick parking lot, a careening van, a broken arm, and her weird lab partner from biology get in the way...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 113,874 - Reviews: 3682 - Favs: 4,602 - Follows: 4,601 - Updated: 12/10/2011 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Inheritance by iambeagle reviews
Three stipulations are keeping Edward from receiving his inheritance money, one of them being he must obtain a serious relationship. His solution? Pay Bella to pretend to date him.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 68,167 - Reviews: 1722 - Favs: 2,170 - Follows: 1,571 - Updated: 10/12/2011 - Published: 11/15/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Edward Cullen: Purse Snatcher by ericastwilight reviews
Edward is dared to do something stupid by his cousin Emmett. "Yeah, but do you think we should've told him that she's the police chief's daughter?" One stolen purse leads to so much more. E/B OOC-AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 91,439 - Reviews: 4002 - Favs: 3,440 - Follows: 2,502 - Updated: 9/13/2011 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Transfer by bannerday reviews
Bella transfers to the Univ of WA; to a dorm with the Twilight gang. She runs into Edward her first day, leaving him on the ground & her things littered about. Sometimes you find what you didn't know you were looking for. AH, BPOV/EPOV, humor and hotness.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 73 - Words: 538,254 - Reviews: 4672 - Favs: 2,964 - Follows: 1,662 - Updated: 7/9/2011 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Amazing by sheviking reviews
Birthday one-shot for my beta, Melanie. Twenty-something, plus sized Bella is curvy and confident. Enter Edward, her high school crush, who she only ever loved from afar. A second chance for something amazing. Rated M for the usual reasons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,917 - Reviews: 739 - Favs: 2,189 - Follows: 540 - Published: 6/11/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Rub My Ass and Call Me Bella by wisdomous reviews
Birthday O/S for Ilsuocantante. Angela gives Bella an afternoon at the spa for her birthday. Will Bella get more than just a facial and massage? O/S extended to multi-chapter story!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 70,060 - Reviews: 489 - Favs: 399 - Follows: 433 - Updated: 5/13/2011 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Bella, Edward
Amongst the Living by DazzlinSparkle05 reviews
Bella a college graduate returns to live with her father. She meets an anxiety ridden Edward. When she tries to help him she learns maybe he's the one really teaching her how to live. AH, AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 59,762 - Reviews: 1105 - Favs: 1,051 - Follows: 513 - Updated: 4/17/2011 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Hood by Lawn Girl reviews
Bella's crush on quiet Edward Cullen seems to be one sided. But when they start hanging out will things change or does it all stay in The Hood? My entry for the Twi-High Contest - now continued!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 163,626 - Reviews: 3223 - Favs: 3,225 - Follows: 1,807 - Updated: 3/18/2011 - Published: 2/3/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Always Where I Need To Be by Bella Regia reviews
Bella and Edward are together for one purpose only: trying to get over their previous relationships. It's just a plan, isn't it? AU/AH. Rated M for language and stuff.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 31,376 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 3/6/2011 - Published: 7/24/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cullen and Swan: Matchmakers by Ms. Jessica Cullen reviews
Bella Swan has a dirty little secret, Edward reads word porn like an addict. The two connect in a kinky, delicious way. Oh! Did I forget to mention that they like playing cupid? M for every type of perversion in the world.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 166,445 - Reviews: 1315 - Favs: 1,160 - Follows: 596 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sinful Dancer by WingRose reviews
Bella is a full-time student, an intern and a dancer. Edward is a lazy bum, womanizer who has another side. These two can't seem to be away from each other no matter how much they want to...but do they really want to stay away? AU FUT LEMONS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,412 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/17/2011 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Longest Summer by lexiecullen17 reviews
Bella wants Edward...the only problem is, he's a counselor at her summer camp. And although Bella has always been one of Edward's favorite campers, that's all she'll ever be to him...right? When Bella returns as a counselor, can she change his mind? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 255,530 - Reviews: 4267 - Favs: 4,009 - Follows: 2,481 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Violet by edieswan reviews
Sexy rich boy Edward Cullen owns the most prestigious strip club in New York: Violet. Edward's one girl short and begins his search for the next dancer. His new potential? None other than Bella Swan.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 47,280 - Reviews: 1809 - Favs: 1,420 - Follows: 1,726 - Updated: 10/10/2010 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Edward, Bella
Oh I Hate You But, I Love You Too by Koukla0223 reviews
Chucks: 60 bucks...Hoodie: ehh, 30 bucks...The relationship of Ms. Sarcasm-Is-My-Middle-Goddamn Name Bella Swan and Mr. Arrogant-I-Can-Get-Whoever-I-Want Edward Cullen: friken Priceless.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 345,035 - Reviews: 438 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Betting Man by mybluesky reviews
Edward makes a bet with Bella's ex, James, that he can bed her. Bella learns of the bet through a friend and decides to string Edward along for a bit and subsequently land herself a hot date for her friend's wedding. Things soon get very interesting...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 181,108 - Reviews: 6654 - Favs: 6,034 - Follows: 2,953 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 12/9/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Hello, You Must Be My Sex Therapist by venom with love reviews
Bella is a sex therapist. Her new client just so happens to be Edward, who is a virgin that comes to her for help. All Human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,831 - Reviews: 500 - Favs: 508 - Follows: 850 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Edward, Bella
Oceanic by Rochelle Allison reviews
Waterbeds can be sexy. Who knew? Edward and Bella, best friends to more-than-friends. Once a WitFit.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,348 - Reviews: 1407 - Favs: 1,851 - Follows: 651 - Updated: 8/5/2010 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Naughty Secrets by A Little Distracted reviews
Bella is a school librarian leading a naughty secret life. Edward is a history teacher with a naughty obsession. If he could only see what is right in front of his face... AU/AH - Rated M for Hot LEMONS! Each chapter alternates POV's
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 146,129 - Reviews: 2352 - Favs: 2,277 - Follows: 1,429 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
Alphabet Weekends by the-glory-days reviews
Bored with their dismal love lives, best friends Edward and Bella come up with the idea of exploring the world of sex using the alphabet for the next twenty-six weekends. What happens when things go from two friends having fun to something serious? AH OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 124,991 - Reviews: 11480 - Favs: 11,907 - Follows: 6,022 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella and the Geek, AUAH by RebeccaKay27 reviews
Bella Swan is a high school junior who along with her best friend, Jasper Cullen, lives by her own rules. That is, until Jasper's twin brother, and the brain of Forks High, Edward comes into play. Nerdward meets Bitchy Bella in this new and fun fic...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,381 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 2/18/2010 - Published: 8/18/2009 - Bella, Edward
Faking It by spanglemaker9 reviews
Half of Hollywood's most famous couples are faking it. That's how Bella Swan's publicist convinces her to pretend to date troubled Hollywood bad boy Edward Cullen. And she'll do anything for her band and her music.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 144,679 - Reviews: 6020 - Favs: 10,466 - Follows: 3,428 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Red Line by WinndSinger reviews
Edward is an exotic male dancer. Bella is a college student studying psychology and needs a subject to do her thesis on. Bella pays Edward to belong to her for 2 weeks so she can study him. Things soon get very interesting between them.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 40 - Words: 351,671 - Reviews: 19645 - Favs: 12,776 - Follows: 5,807 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Skyping With Strangers reviews
What happens when Bella accidentally starts up a Skype session with a complete stranger? Hilarity and silliness, of course. Oh...and maybe love? Lemons. Laughs. Continuation of the one-shot. HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 36,516 - Reviews: 447 - Favs: 590 - Follows: 843 - Updated: 12/20/2013 - Published: 8/26/2011 - Bella, Edward
Mile High Club reviews
He's annoying, she's annoyed. Pent up tension and a cramped airplane bathroom can be mighty fun... Come join the Mile High Club. ONE-SHOT. Lemons, laughs, fun.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,908 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 21 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Barely Legal reviews
"How old are you?" "Eighteen." "...I should go." "No. Don't do that." "Do what?" "Underestimate me. My age doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. Doesn't mean I can't make you feel good..." Summer lovin'. LifeguardWard. Lemons. Continuation. HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 20,745 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 380 - Follows: 487 - Updated: 5/28/2012 - Published: 8/25/2011 - Bella, Edward
Covering All the Bases reviews
Bella Swan is hopelessly in love with her best friend Edward but he only sees her as 'one of the guys'. Or does he? "Then I hit third base with Edward. In front of his mom's cookies." ONE-SHOT. Laughs, lemons, fun...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,656 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 48 - Published: 1/5/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Anything You Need reviews
Edward would like to think that his Bella still exists. He'd like to believe that all the years of pain were just a formality and that soon his Bella would return to him. That this monster in her place is only temporary. But he's wrong. Bella's gone.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,065 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/15/2011 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Bella, Edward
Skyping With Strangers OS reviews
What happens when Bella accidentally starts up a Skype session with a complete stranger? Hilarity and silliness of course. Oh and duh...there'll be sex. Drunken fun. Lemons. The ONE-SHOT version. Now a full length story...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,276 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 21 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Tickle Me, Elmo reviews
Bella goes shopping for a certain toy for her nephew...what she finds there is much, much better than a Tickle-Me Elmo... Lemons and laughs. ONE-SHOT.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,512 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 38 - Published: 8/29/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete