OK, my account decided to randomly fix itself, so I'm back to uploading here! Yay!

Voldemort: Why do you live?

Harry: Because I have a nose... so I can breathe. *Dungbrain* -.-

No, Voldemort! Only Edward Cullen can live forever! Oh, wait... I just tossed him through a woodchipper. Carry on.

- I have a lot to live up to you know. There are so many Gryffindors to torture, and my minions can't do all the work. That's why I need milk. Because ferrets with strong bones bounce a lot higher... GOT MILK? ~ Draco Malfoy

Sirius: Hey, Remus, is it your time of the month yet?

Remus: Silence! I KEEL YOU!

Not all fangirls are rabid, obsessive stalkers. Smart fangirls exist too, you know. Just not me... I'VE GOT TOM FELTON'S SHIRT!!! WOOOO!

Nine out of ten people support chocolate. And the tenth person is lying. I can see right through you Remus...

Everybody is beautiful, because true beauty is seen not in the exterior, but in the soul. Where you see the loathsome, I see the beautiful. Even if they are creepy snake faces.

Harry: Bibbity Bobbity BOO FUCKAHS!!!

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. See? Crookshanks can't be part kneazle. Kneazles are SMART.

Snape: I won't say that STUPID line one more time!

Sirius: SAY IT!

Remus: You know you want to...

Snape: *Sigh* Turn to page 394.

Remus: HE SAID IT! *Sqeals in delight.

Come to the dark side, we're sparkly!

Random Person: What would you do for a Klondake Bar?

Harry: Psh, I've had stones, chambers, and goblets baby! So don't ask ME what I would do for a Klondake Bar. That Bar is already mine! BRING IT!

I want a taco. You know who can't have a taco? Cedric. Cause he's dead. BAHAHA! Screw you Ced! These are MY tacos!

Shouting Lumos at the lightswitch will not help.

Draco wants to be the Green Power Ranger.

Someone cuts you off in traffic. What would Severus do? CRUCIO HIS @$$!

Furry hat: 6 Galeons. Arm Sling: 3 Galeons. Draco getting mauled by a hippogriff: Priceless.

Voldie: So then I was like- *AVADA KEDAVRA* -and he was like, dead.

Lucius: Master we must flee!

D Lord: Why?

Lucius: He's here! The one who makes us all writh in pain!

D Lord: Dumbledore? Potter?

Lucius: No, Master, no! It's much worse! It's-

George W. Bush: Sup' Dead Eaters?

D Lord: Run away!

Hermi: Give it up Malfoy! Harry is not interested.

Draco: Oh yeah?

Hermi: Yeah he's mine.

Draco: Well he looked pretty interested last night. *Smirk* Isn't that right Harry!

Harry: Righto! You're an amazing snogger, Draco!

Hermi: Bugger.

P. Trelawney: My dear, the inner eye is telling me that you have no chance.

Hermi: Oh, shut up you old hag!

What happened after Sirius fell through the Viel? Sirius: WTF!!! Narnia?

Dumbledore: Remember students! Old Volie needs is a nice. Big. Hug.

McGonagall: ...POTTER!!!

Harry: *Jumps* You scared the s!&(# out of me!

McGonagall: I know, that was fun.

Hey guys! Wouldn't it be fun if Harry pulled out some earmuffs and shoved a mature mandrake in Voldie's face? Bye bye Voldie!

Harry: You're a werewolf?!

Remus: Yes.

Harry: Are you effing SERIOUS!

Remus: Yes that too.

Harry: Wait... WHAT!?

Remus: Oops. Too much information.

Umbridge is Trevor's mom. Possibly his Girlfriend...

Dumbledore: B!!*# you did NOT just call me Santa!

Harry" F* you malfoy!

Draco: F* you Potter!

Harry: Okay when?

Draco: My room, at 8.

J. K. Rowling: There will be no more Harry Potter movies.

Director: NYAAAAAAA! (I expect most of you won't get this until you see Deathly Hallows Part 2 preview and listen to Voldie's favorite line.

Silly Voldemort, stop doing your horse impressions. Horses say nayy not nyaaa!

How can Voldemort be the greatest wizard ever if he can't fix his nose? He should take lessons from Luna... NYAAAAAA!