My dearest, darlingest fans,

It is after much turmoil and happiness in my life that I return to you after three years. Once known as, http://www.fanfiction.net/u/939654/Dark-Man-s-Girl , I have been locked out of my account and have now been forced to come back to fangirl life as Shes.My.Hatchet.Pie. I shall be uploading some of my favorite stories from my old account and uploading them here (after much editing, I assure you.)

With Fangirl Love,

Shes.My.Hatchet.Pie

How I ship

Harry/ Draco Remus/Sirius Ron/Hermione Ginny/Neville Snape/(as long as Snape is his sexy self i don't care who hes paired with. OM NOM.)

Naruto/ Sasuke

Reno/Rude

Anything Ouran High School Host Club

Slash... Yaoi... Scandalous

I read man love almost exclusively. Anyone wanna challenge my position with flames? Good, Hagrid just bestowed upon me a very precious gift his name is Seisel and is a Chinese Fireball. He needs warming.

Femmeslash... Yuri... Meh

I won't flame anyone about it, but its just not my cup of tea.

Pet Peeves: Because I need an outlet for them and its inappropriate to flame reviews with personal problems.

1. There is no such thing as a 2-shot, or 3-shot, or 4-shot. There are only 1-shots, anything with more than one chapter is just another story.

2. Although, I am guilty of writing very poor Mary-Sue fics, no one gives a rip if you claim to be Harry's uncle's dog's brother's f# buddie's sister, here to hook up with Malfoy because you are his soul mate. Any Mary-Sue should be written to be comedic, not serious and angst ridden.

3. This is the Interwebs- getting in petty squabbles over whether or not someone likes your fic, is foolish. Anyone who flames my stories- go ahead, curse me all you want, tell me I'm a worthless piece of gum under your shoe. Unless this is coming from someone I know personally or is constructive criticism that I can genuinely use to improve my posts, I really don't care what you think.

4. To that same token, flaming is pointless. If you have something to say that is fixable like being in-character, grammar or word choice, then say it. If you rant on and on about how Reno getting on his knees in front of Rude is completely immoral trash,you will be ignored, as I'm sure you've been before because you're an ignorant moron who should not have read that particular piece in the first place. There are warnings and ratings for a reason. Read them.

5. I realize that some people want to improve their English by posting fics. However poor English is not only a bit annoying, it hinders the otherwise good plot line. If English is not your first language, I give you two options:

A. Post the fic in your native language, be it French, German, Russian,etc.

B. Have a native English speaker edit your pieces. This way you get the benefit of seeing what errors you made, and hopefully improve in the future. (And FYI I enjoy nitpicking fics to perfection, if you ask me to edit and revise, I will most likely do so.)

6. If you are a native speaker of English and your fic is hindered because you cannot spell, punctuate or know the proper way to write a story (aka starting a new paragraph with each new speaker, not using shortcuts like min. or sec. especially in speech) get your lazy self to an English class or else stop posting.

7. WIZARDS CANNOT USE A COMPUTER! This has been throughly explained by JKRowling- their magic gums up the electricity. Perhaps one at a time, but especially at the Burrow, the computer would go nuts. Nor would their culture allow such nonsense- they use OWLS.

In Parting I give you This:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiZ59bdDPag