To everyone whom it may concern: I don't bite.
Really. Sometimes I'm just more or less friendly. If the latter, you may see me at my hostile bi-polar side. I apologise in advance, that side is mad. But sometimes it's necessary.

And now, toward more pleasant things.

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I read, read, read and read. But only FMA fics. Or if I'm really bored, I search in other sections.
From time to time I review. Or flame. Or both.

I have two OTPs (Roy/Ed, Ed/Al) and one OT3 (Ed/Al/Hei). Roy/Ed and Ed/Al are lovely, but Roy/human!Al creeps me out. It's purely parental for me. (As opposite to parental!Roy/Ed, which I loathe dearly.) Or pity!mourning!pr0n because Ed is not around. However, show me some fine armor!Al/Roy and I'll worship ground you walk on.

Pairings I can't chew through are, sadly, both canon (Roy/Riza and Ed/Winry). Surprisingly I have no problems with Roy/Winry, Ed/Riza, Roy/Ed and Riza/Winry. Wait. Scratch that. I don't like Roy/Winry.

I'm not limiting myself to consensual pairings. Incest, fraternization, pedophilia, paraphilias, horror, gore, mpreg, homosexualism, heterosexualism, genderswitch, non-con, one-night stands, war-fics, AnimeVerses, MangaVerses, Alternate Universes, crossovers, triangles, squares, etc. I read all of the above, and more.

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Stories I try to avoid:

- Roy/Riza, Ed/Winry, Roy/Al, Roy/Winry and parental!Roy/Ed (because that one too often turns into Roy/Riza and Ed/Winry).

- teeth-rotting sweet fluff and pointless angst. You made character feel that way or another? Ok, but tell us why.

- major OOCness. You want Edward to stand on Roy's desk and scream "I'm a little red teapot!". Fine, but we both know he WOULD NOT do it. Give us proper reasons and/or occurrences, if he will.

- "crackfics", the ones which are not 'crack' and pure joy, but instead are lame and stupid. Do I need to explain it?

- horrid crossovers. I have read most of FMAxHP crossovers in FMA section, searching for good ones. Only few are readable. I'm so not amused.

- fics with massive amount of Original Characters. Tricky summary made me step into these things far too many times. Still not amused. And not suicidal either. Hell, you can have great plot and all, but have you ever though about unused FMA characters? Why don't use them, instead of making hundreds of OCs, huh? With weird names I can't remember, to boot.

- Mary Sues. I don't care if your Sue has blond-red-blue-black hair and they glow/shine/glitter/whatever. I don't give a damn if she (why not he? yaoi Ed/OC and het female!Ed/OC is more than rare. It's almost non-existing. I'm sadly amused.) makes FMA cast droll and immediately fall in love with her. I do not care if your fic is about your sweet and lovely Sue having fun/adventures/dramas with her sidekicks (FMA cast) and her "twu luv" (Ed, Roy, Al, Jean, Envy, or any other poor guy), but as hell I don't have to read it. So don't give alluring summaries and don't make me accidentally see your fic, because it's a chain reaction and I will flame you. Although I prefer to call it "constructive criticism". I don't flame when I have no reasons to do so.

- bad grammar. It makes my blood boil. I understand you can misplace letters and tenses. Also you may do weird things with dots, commas and quotemarks and have poor vocabulary. I really don't blame you if you're learning english and making mistakes. Everyone makes them. But dictionary is not your enemy. And writing your when meaning you're and changing because into cuz or bc is just plain laziness. Why are you writing anything if you don't care how it will look to your readers? People would like to know what you wrote, not just guess it.

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And now time for something completely different. For example, why I only flame/review/read and write nothing? It's simple, really. Creating doesn't give me as much joy as reading. And I'm lazy like that.

Okay, so I'm lazy and I love FMA fandom. Anything else, you ask? Well, yes. I'm 18, female and European. Also short, perverted red-head (the latter thanks to hair dye). English is my second language and I KNOW I make mistakes when using it. Hell, be glad you've never HEARD me using it, for you would surely die from laughing.

Beside FMA I like D.Gray-Man, Potter, Ouran Host Club, Witcher and crpgs. Cats, fandom and hot chocolate are my anti-drugs. I try to stick with metal/rock/pop, but I can live through all types of music you would throw at me. (Perhaps except German folk/country music, ew.)

After all that ranting above... well, you probably won't believe me, but I'm shy. However, get me talking and I won't stop. I'm pretty confused about this myself.

Feel free to PM me. Maybe we can share interests or laugh at horrible phenomenon of MarySueism together?