TWILIGHT OATH:

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
I promise to despise the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know!!

...V...Put this
...A...On your
...M...Profile
...P...If
...I...You
...R...Have
...E...That crazy
...S...Obsession over vampires!

Pick the month you were born on...

1(Jan) - I shot
2 (Feb) -I ran shirtless with
3 (Mar) - I stabbed
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I slapped
6 (June)-I robbed
7 (July) -I kissed
8 (Aug) -I smoked with
9 (Sept) - I needed
10 (Oct) - I hugged
11 (Nov) - I ran naked with
12 (Dec) - I banged

Pick the day (number) you were born on...

01 - a rock star
02 - my boyfriend
03 -a hobo
04 - a homeless guy
05 - the one that i love
06 -the trojan man
07 - the cookie monster
08 - a sexy girl
09 - a bowl of cereal
10 - a mop
11 - a tooth brush
12 - a hobo
13 -a dog
14 - a drunk
15 - a crack head
16 - a cat
17 - a bag of weed
18 - the kool-aid man
19 - an Easter egg
20 - tori the snowman
21 - a hottie
22 - my crush
23 -yo momma
24 - a mexican
25 - a teletubby
26 - a condom
27 - a gangsta
28 - paris hilton
29 - Barney the Dinosaur
30 - my ex boyfriend
31 -my lover

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favourite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus' arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

13 things PMS Stands for:

13. Pass My Shotgun
12. Psychotic Mood Swing
11. Perpetual Munching Spree
10. Puffy Mid-Section
9. People Make me Sick
8. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
6. Pimples May Surface
5. Pass My Sweats
4. Pissy Mood Syndrome
3. Poor Men Suck
2. Pack My Stuff
1. Potential Murder Suspect

You Know You Have Read Too Much Twilight When:

1) You squeal with joy at the fact that you're doing the Krebs Cycle in Science Class

2) When ever you listen to a song, read a book, watch a movie, or do anything you think, "How could i work this into Twilight?"

3)You've got a built in Volvo radar

4)You snap you your head as soon as you hear the word "vampire"

5) You've written a fanfiction.

6) You wrote a 3 page essay on how much you hate Jacob Black, and handed it in.

7) You freak out in History when you are studying any of the time periods in which the Cullen's lived.

8) You celebrate Edward and Bella's birthdays.

9) You obsess over fanfics because the books aren't enough!

10) Your friends make you a Twilight scrapbook because they can't think of anything else you'll like.

Top 71 twilight obsessed things to do

1. You keep re-reading the series, even though you know pretty much every line.

2. You never put down the books when you read them the first time.

3. You were counting down the days until breaking dawn came out.

4. You can’t help but smile whenever you think of Edward.

5. The name Edward is no longer dumb and weird to you.

6. Whenever someone says, “Hey, you want to go shopping?” you automatically think of Alice.

7. You want to move to Forks, Seattle, Phoenix, or Port Angeles.

8. When you see someone barely starting the series, you want to punch them for not reading it sooner.( even though you don't punch)

9. When you see someone reading Twilight, you go over to them and say how much you like it, to which they give you a weird look and walk away.

10. You cried during some parts of the books, and laughed at others.

11. The name Victoria sends chills down your spine. (shudder)

12. Twilight is your favourite time of day

13. You have imagined yourself as one of the Cullen's and or characters in the book

14. You have had pretend conversations with one of the book characters in your mind.

15. After you read the book, apples became your favourite fruit.

1 6. You wish you were a vampire.

17. You squealed with joy when Edward and Bella reunited in New moon.

18. Your friends get scared around you when you start to talk about Twilight.

19. When your friends bring up Twilight, they smack their heads because they know you're going to go on a never ending rant

20. you go on a never ending rant when someone brings up twilight

21. When you see someone wearing glitter you think of vampires

22. You wished your name was Bella and have yelled at your parents about it

23. Instead of asking yourself questions like, “I wonder why we as humans are alive?” you ask, “I wonder what will happen in Breaking Dawn”

24. You hate the name Jacob with a passion.

25. Black is now your least favourite colour. (Sorry Jacob fans)

26. Your teachers at school ask you why your reading log mostly consists of the Twilight series.

27. You dress up like a Cullen on Halloween and people ask you why you’re not wearing a costume but a lot of glitter and expensive brand clothes borrowed from your friends.

28. You read fan fictions about Twilight online and it’s the only website you’re on anymore.

29. You’ve written Cullen as your last name

30. When you went to an Italian restaurant, you ordered the mushroom ravioli.

31. You listen to your heartbeat more often

32. You look at your doctor and think, “Carlisle’s better”

33. Topaz is your favourite gemstone.

34. You wish you were born if November so topaz would be your birthstone

35. You wish your birthday was also June 20th, like Edward’s

36. Your parents have grounded you from the books until you get breaking dawn.

37. Mountain lions are your favourite animal

38. You’ve tried to read peoples mind, see the future, change people’s emotions, or make them be in excruciating pain.

39. You cried during New Moon, more than you've cried ever before in a book.

40. You get very mad and gasp when people say they have never heard of Twilight.

41. You jump every time you hear "Edward" or "Bella"

42. You can't focus on your work/homework because you could be reading one of the books again.

43. You name your pet/computer/car after one of the Twilight characters

44. you relate everything in life to Bella and Edward and anything else that goes on in the books.

45. You began to look after men/women that have pale skin, dark eyes and are absolutely gorgeous.

46. You want to go cliff diving because Bella did it.

47. You want to ride motorcycles, just because Bella did.

48. You read your books while you eat, or you just don't eat at all.

49. When you fall over or nearly get hit by a big van you call it a Bella moment.

50. You fall over a lot and almost get hit by big vans.

51. You sleep with your books in your bed at night.

52. You've memorized every page number in all three books and know the content of each.

53. You start a Twilight-themed website.

54. You and your friends make Twilight tees that say "I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton" and wear them to school on the same day.

55. Instead of shouting "I HAVE TO PEE!" you say "I need a human minute."

56. You hate gym only because Bella does, too.

57. Every time someone speaks of one named Edward, you jump on their back.

58. You refuse to eat human food, because the Cullen's don't.

59. You think in Fanfic.

60. Every sentence you say begins with "Twilight".

61. You would name your kid Carlisle in a heartbeat.

62. If someone is cold/warm when you touch them, you scream "YOU'RE A WEREWOLF/ VAMPIRE! And THEN jump on them.

63. You call your English/Science/Trig teachers there respective Twilight characters (i.e., Mr. Berty, Mr. Banner, Mr. Varner, Coach Clapp)

64. You become a vegetarian, because you are just halfway there to "vegetarian vampire."

65. You refuse a date with the most popular guy in school because he's not "your Edward."

66. You have answered "duh," "yes," or "omg YEAH" to all or any of these questions.

67. You give complements/insults in the following format: "You know what, you are such a insert name of character here.

68. If someone mentions they haven't read the series, gasp, you start yelling at them until they do.

69. You demand that your parents take you to Forks over spring break/summer vacation, etc.

70. On a sunny day, you're depressed because you know you won't see any vampires.

Girl: Do you think I'm pretty?
Boy: No.
Girl: Do you want to be with me forever?
Boy: No.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Choose—me or your life?

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and boy runs after her and says..

The reason you're not pretty is because you're beautiful.

The reason I don't want to be with you forever is because I need to be with you forever.

The reason you don't cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porsche 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

FEMALE COMEBACKS!!

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this…
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you SKINNY,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,

So why bother?

I’m not a bitch… I just like being rude.
I'm not a sinner… I just can't do anything right.
I'm not depressed… I'm just always sad.
I'm not crying… My eyes are just full of tears.
I’m not living… I just keep breathing.
I'm not a thief… I just take what I need.
I'm not a slut… I just embrace my sexuality.
I'm not stupid… I just don’t get it.
I’m not trying… I’ve already given up.
I'm not weird… I'm just different.
I'm not a rebel… I just don’t take orders.
I'm not worthless… I just don’t know my value.
I'm not a believer… I’ve already lost hope.

I'm not a fuck up… I just make mistakes.
I'm not beautiful… Its only skin deep.
I'm not emotional… I just have a lot of feelings.
I'm not a cutter… I just found a way to get rid of pain.
I'm not immature… I'm just growing up.
I'm not a quitter… I just stop and re-think.
I'm not laughing… I need to smile first.
I'm not impulsive… I just act before I think.
I'm not obsessed… I'm just in love.
I'm not perfect… I don’t want to be.
I'm not ignoring… I just choose not to listen.
I'm not a gossip… I have my own life.
I'm not pessimistic… I just don’t get my hopes up.
I'm not impatient… I just don’t like to wait.
I'm not happy… I do have sparks of joy.
I'm not tough… I just don’t take shit.
I'm not clingy… I just wanna be held.
I'm not opinionated… I just voice what I think.
I'm not questioning… I just have my doubts.
I'm not hiding… I just want to disappear.

This is to help people understand that stereotypes are dumb! (Bold apply to you)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm SAD, so I MUST be depressed.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be over-dramatic.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I DON'T LIVE WITH MY CHILD, so I MUST be a dead beat parent.

I'm QUIET, so I MUST be weird.
I'm ATHLETIC, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST drink and do drugs.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so my family MUST own a pizzeria.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm REALLY INTO MY MUSIC, so I MUST be scene.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRL FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST not care about people's feelings.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILLIAN, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST rob, do graffiti and stab people.
I WEAR GIRL PANTS, so I MUST have no friends.
My BOYFRIENDS OLDER THAN ME, so he MUST only be w/ me 4 sex.
I WEAR LEG BRACES, so I MUST be "crippled"

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm JAMAICAN so I must smoke weed.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.
I agree with some cases of ABORTION so I MUST be heartless.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver
I LAUGH ALL THE TIME so I must be a party girl.
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I want to DIE, so I MUST be suicidal.
I don't FLIRT WITH GUYS AT SCHOOL so I MUST be gay.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I wear BOY'S CLOTHES so I MUST be a lesbian.

I'm (or was) a CUTTER, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I talk to BOYS, so I MUST fancy them all.

I hug GIRLS, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I'm POSTING THIS so I MUST be a groupie.

~~~Put this on your profile if your sick of stereotypes~~~