thenewnudge
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Joined 01-29-11, id: 2725829, Profile Updated: 08-15-11

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be mean.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I must be a SLUT.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be snobby.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a wimp.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be over controlling.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs/nuts.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm A WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. and I MUST worship the devil.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be pedantic.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I AM FRIENDS WITH A CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I CRY EASILY, so I MUST be a wimp.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

BOLD= ME

"Amy Cahill didn't believe in omens. But black snow was falling, the earth was rumbling beneath her feet, her brother was meowing, and her uncle Alistair was prancing on the beach in pink pajamas."

Panda Bears.

Their so chill, their all like "dude rasism is stupid, i'm black white, and asian, and everyone loves me! Cause I'm a panda, I'm cute and fluffy. So stop the hate and start the love, dude. Yeah.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

HARRY POTTER QUOTES!

"You'd think killing people would make them like you, but it doesn't. They just end up dead."

-Joe Walker

AVPM

"But it's very shiny and therefore it wants me to look at it."

-James Potter

The Word Shall Brightly Burn

"Mione" Harry whispered "Cabbage will not take over the world, because cabbage is a vegetable, so unless we let Hagrid near them with his umbrella, you don't need to worry"

-The Time Changer: Reading Philosopher's Stone

"They are no longer murderers, they are trees."

-Harry Potter and Ice Cream Delights

In Care of Magical Creatures class, Hagrid expressed disappointment that Dumbledore wouldn't let him show the class a dragon. Instead, he showed them a chimaera, which the book, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, described as, "A vicious, bloodthirsty creature with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a dragon's tail." Again, Hagrid said, "Them're just misunderstood creatures." Harry wondered when the basilisk lesson would be ("Now, don' they have pretty eyes? Everyone look.")

-It's for the Best

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The Universe Hates Me by Bandgeekclarinet14 reviews
All human. Max and Fang have been best friends for years until the universe decides to play a cruel joke on them.Max's family are forced to move far away, but after 2 years she moves back. Will this bring up new feelings between to two or just unveil old ones they refused to acknowledged.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 88,271 - Reviews: 877 - Favs: 367 - Follows: 295 - Updated: 2/6/2017 - Published: 1/19/2011 - Max, Fang - Complete
Cupid's Arrow by creatoroffiction reviews
Fang seems it all.The money, the looks,the one thing he thinks he can never have is his best friend Max. When she breaks up with her boyfriend and needs a place, she moves in. Can Fang finally have it all? Story alot better than it seems! FAX Please read!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 35,837 - Reviews: 868 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 354 - Updated: 11/28/2013 - Published: 3/18/2011 - Fang, Max
Perfect by lotrelmo1992 reviews
Blaine's new friend Sebastian makes Kurt question himself. Makes him strive to be perfect! But what happens when it goes a little too far! TRIGGER WARNINGS: Anorexia, Self-Harm, Graphic Detail, and Language. RATED M
Glee - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 48 - Words: 68,624 - Reviews: 338 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 4/20/2013 - Published: 6/22/2012 - Kurt H., Blaine A.
The 39 clues 2 by MissMxLo99 reviews
Amy and Dan's family decide to go on an adventure to Hawaii! But, the adventure suddenly turns into a family reunion. Fortunately the Cahills have made up with EACH OTHER. But, what about the other family who hasn't made up with them? OOC OC NO SLASH R&R
39 Clues - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,599 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/28/2012 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Amy C.
Eclipsed by The-Unknown-Artist reviews
After an accident John is left permanently blind. It isn't long before he begins to lose himself in the darkness. It's up to Sherlock to find him again. Established Relationship. Eventual smut. Eventual gore. Then the rating will rise.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,562 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 11/21/2012 - Published: 8/18/2012 - Sherlock H., John W.
Fanfiction will kill us all by Fowlmaniac reviews
A major crossover. Completely Random. OOC. I blame nobody but myself for what this has become. T for whatevers inside.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 822 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/14/2012 - Published: 9/10/2011
That's Just How It Is by dancerxforlifex3 reviews
Max moves from Montana to sunny Florida and befriends mysterious Fang. The two are great friends but also somehwat have feelings for each other underneath, despite the fact that Fang has a girlfriend. Sorry for the bad summary :P Enjoy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 111,226 - Reviews: 827 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 12/4/2011 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Max, Fang - Complete
Three Wishes by Luv the Legend reviews
Two unlucky deals are made with unfortunate timing. Amy Cahill and Ian Kabra, sworn enemies for life, have to date each other for a month? AU *HIATUS*
39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,054 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 10/28/2011 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Amy C., Ian K.
Winged Mysteries by blaze-secret writing reviews
Max has always been on the move. She has never had time to settle down, have a relationship, or figure out her life. Will all this change when she meets a mysterious Fang? Will she finally have a relationship... or two? FAX. Review!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 21,055 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 3/18/2011 - Max, Fang
The Pursuit by Stone Moss reviews
"This is just a never-ending pursuit. They capture us and we escape, then it happens all over again. We have to win this. It's either us or them." Action/Adventure/Drama/Romance
39 Clues - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 30,997 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 10/10/2011 - Published: 4/25/2011 - Amy C.
Match by CaitySky reviews
Max is a genius. She has a voice in her head that gives her the right answers to any problem. But her smartness makes her the 'Maximum' outcast at school. Will the new kids, with strange abilities of their own, befriend her or confuse the Maximum genius?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 25,897 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 10/5/2011 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Max, Fang
I'm New at This by CaitySky reviews
Written before Angel. Caitlin is a normal 15 year old girl. Until she learns her favorite fantasy book series is becoming reality. She meets Fang, becomes bffs with Max, and falls for Iggy. Not to mention she's been given wings by the Whitecoats.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,174 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 7/16/2011 - Fang, Iggy
Max: The War Eagle by Heart of Diamond reviews
1/3: Bloodline Trilogy. After MR3. Max fell pregnant & left, forcing the flock split. People have turned against mutants & experiments alike. Max must rebuild the flock & save the world before war breaks out. But Max's daughter is a target. Fax! Niggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 58,525 - Reviews: 552 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 7/17/2011 - Published: 5/16/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Fang: The Black Hawk by Heart of Diamond reviews
2/3: Bloodline Trilogy. Max's enemies are hungry for revenge. The election is coming up & Max is once again fighting for her child, freedom & those she loves most. With war, survival, running, hiding & trust at risk you have to fight to fly on. Fax! Niggy
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 43 - Words: 99,053 - Reviews: 569 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 7/17/2011 - Published: 12/22/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Ambiguity by EpitomeOfCool reviews
When Max goes to College, the last thing she expects to find is her archenemy, Fang, in all of her classes. Will they ever get on? FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 100,206 - Reviews: 778 - Favs: 473 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 7/11/2011 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Complete
The Art of Seduction by memory's marionette reviews
Dan realizes too late that placing your sister as a bet when drunk is never a good idea while Ian learns that seduction comes in many forms when it comes to Amy. Complete.
39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,939 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/24/2011 - Published: 5/7/2011 - Ian K., Amy C. - Complete
Amy's Inbox by Alex Almighty reviews
Amy sends one email that starts many conversations with none other then the Kabras! The story records all their contacting before Medusa's Plot including Vesper's Rising in Ian's perspective! Find out what happens during the times out of the books.
39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 42,484 - Reviews: 444 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 5/15/2011 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Amy C., Ian K. - Complete
Leave Out All The Rest by TheSacredBunny reviews
Ian has cancer and was given a week to live. He set out to get forgiveness from everyone that he wronged. He's gotten forgiveness from everyone but Amy. Can he get her to forgive him, or will he die knowing she never forgave him?
39 Clues - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,167 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/12/2011 - Amy C., Ian K. - Complete
Dan's Cahill's 200 Things to do When Bored in Math by Alex Almighty reviews
Dan's school life isn't completely boring! He likes to shake it up! When Dan knows math like the back of his hand, he shouldn't have to pay attention! Dan writes a list of the most amusing things to do when bored! The result is totally hilarious!
39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,924 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 3/8/2011 - Published: 1/29/2011 - Dan C. - Complete
Amy Gets Stuck in Twilight! Help! by Alex Almighty reviews
Amy looked at the creepy dude staring back at her. News-flash! There is an article of clothing called a shirt! And the other man... had he rubbed baby-powder all over himself? How else could he be that pale? In normal life, people aren't that dramatic!
39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,136 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/9/2011 - Amy C., Dan C. - Complete
The Hero, the Bad Guy, and Me by iciclegirl235 reviews
Amy Cahill has won the 39 clues and is a world famous singer. When she runs into an old friend in London, love is in the air. But what are you suppose to do when everyone expects you to run off with the hero, when you really want the bad guy?
39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,322 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 6/23/2010 - Published: 8/17/2009 - Complete