Lauri3n
 Author has written 1 story for Naruto. Hi. I read fanfiction all the time, but I've never actually written one. I'm not very good at writing, so I may never write one. However, I do like to review. Thus, since I have disciovered that a lot of people don't like anonymous reviews, I made my own account. I feel that if you are going to read a story someone has worked so hard on, you should at least give them a little feedback. There are only a few things that bother me in fanfiction, so I guess I will list them here. 1. I cannot STAND smut. It is disturbing, and, frankly, more than a little weird. I do not mind a little romance, but there is a limit on what you should put on the internet. I belive that this is crossing some major lines. 2. I absolutely LOATHE flames and flamers. I know that some people may not have the best stories in the world, but that does NOT mean you can just be cruel and destroy their stories like that. WORDS HURT PEOPLE!!! Use constructive critiscism, don't make them cry! I mean, how would you feel if someone did that to you? 3. Finally, I don't really like constant mistakes in spelling and grammar. Now, the occasional mistake does not bother me. I mean, we are all human and we all make mistakes. However, constantly misspelling words and messing up your grammar, especially when it's a little word like people, is just stupid. These are the only things that REALLY bother me. Everything else is fine by me. 98 percent of the Internet world has a Myspace account. If you are part of the two percent who don't (like me!) copy and paste this onto your profile. Three out of five kids don't know how to use a comma correctly. If you're one of the 2 out of 5 that do, copy and paste this to your profile. If you hate it when people make spelling/grammar mistakes in their fanfics, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think these copy-paste things are pointless, but do it anyway, copy and paste this to your profile. No one appreciates my singing. When I sing, people either tell me that I'm drawing unneccesary attention to myself or that I'm being annoying. If you would like to know someone who doesn't care how much you sing, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list: musiclover209, Bookworm73 If you have read the Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan and loved it, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list: musiclover209, Bookworm73 If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile. If you found out about fan fiction on a Google search like I did, post this on your profile! If you always have more than one tab open when on the computer, copy and paste If you've ever had a dream and forgotten what it was about before the dream even ended, copy and paste this to your profile If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. (ALL the time...) 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your face off. If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile Copy and paste this into your profile if you and your BFFs watch movies just to laugh at them and make fun of If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever had someone talking to you, you don't hear them, and then five minutes later you look at them and say "what did you say?" copy this into your profile(when i am reading) If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile (this happens to me ALL the time). If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile If you cried, screamed, threw a fit or shouted FOR GOD'S SAKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING! when Arya rejected Eragon again, Copy and paste. Maybe we can bring them together using the powers of THE INTERWEB!!(Ok, ok, i wasnt THAT bad, but i was pretty peeved off...) Arya and Eragon are MEANT to be together. If CP doesn't make it happen i will applaud him for standing up to the fan base, staying true to his artistic direction, twisting the story to make us feel sooo much emotion we will burst and then probably kill him for the blasphemy My best friend is insane. If you are insane or if you have at least one insane friend, copy this into your profile. I am and so is my best friend If you are the complete opposite of normal, copy this into your profile. If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. you are forever striving to achieve good grammar, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. I am an obsessive Grammar Fascist, engaged in a losing war against txt tlk. Join the fight! If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile (MY STUPID COMPUTER!) (And that sewing machine in home Ec.- we have a war... Crazy me!) If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. Copy this into your profile if you're a procrastination addict. If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have read all of the Inheritance books at least a half dozen times copy this into your profile. If you have copy-and-paste-itis (Like me) copy and paste this into your profile.No, wait, don't! If you have a little voice inside your head that talks to you constantly and won't shut up, copy and paste this into your profile. If people say you talk too quietly, copy this to your profile. Post this if you found Maximum Ride: Angel Experiment on one day and the next day you absolutley needed the rest of the series. If you've ever had a really bad day, gone and read fanfiction, and someone has a story that somehow made it all seem a little better, copy and paste. If you cried when you finished MAX, then screamed eccentrically when you heard they were releasing Fang soon, post this on your profile. Post this on your profile if you ever wondered why highlighter doesn't come in black and then thought "Oh". If you made a genuine WTF face when Max and Fang grew gills, post this on your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both ,copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a self-proclaimed nerd (DFTBA!!), copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. If you don't get why some people take showers/baths in the morning because they are just going to get dirty again, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile If you are a Nintendo fan to your very core, copy and paste this into your profile.(Nintendo for LIFE!) If you are a girl who HATES the colour pink, copy and paste this to your profile. If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite gender can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile. If there are characters on a certian show (no need to mention names) that you HATE BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile If you ever got hit in the face with a soccerball, football, etc., copy, paste this onto your profile, and add your name: Kaida Thorn, Gingerstar14, Squirrelflightlover, Metaknight4ever, golfer, Mewtheruler, Tameera the evil one,Bookworm73, If you were ever leaning against a door and it opened and you fell, copy and paste this into your profile If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever thought about murdering a fictional character and actually got so into it you started plotting, put this on your profile. If you actually enjoy reading, copy this into your profile. If you are of the opinion that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, copy this into your profile. If you have ever read something and got sucked into that book, copy this into your profile. If you enjoy books about dragons, copy this into your profile. If you enjoy fantasy in general, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile. If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. 98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you're one of the 2 that hasen't. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word( And you do at random moments) copy and paste this in you're profile. If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you hear voices of book characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile. If you have ever heard of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, copy this into your profile. (September 19! Don't forget!) If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Arya rejected Eragon for a Second time, copy and paste this onto your profile If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever read a novel over 300 pages in under 4 hours, paste this into your profile. If your obsessed with dragons, ravens, wolves and fantasy copy and paste this in your profile If you are one of the talented people who have the skill and unbelievable coordination to fallup stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Eragon (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write fang or Link is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly, well, crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Eragon, Maximum Ride, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striat WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when you claim you can walk on water and then get your best friend to hold you by your waist in the air and you move your legs in a walking movement (It works!!) If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done too . Bookworm73: I set my microwave on fire. If you are one of the proud teens/adults who have a v-o-c-a-b-u-l-a-r-y and do not limit themselves to "omg!" and "Like, that is, like, so, like, totally awsome...!". copy and paste this into your profile. If reading is a buzzilion times better than watching brain-numbing TV, copy and paste this into your profile. If you use words like "buzzilion", copy and paste this into your profile. If you prefer cold and snow over heat and sun, paste this to your profile. If you are one of the proud teens/adults who have a v-o-c-a-b-u-l-a-r-y and do not limit themselves to "omg!" and "Like, that is, like, so, like, totally awsome...!". copy and paste this into your profile. If reading is a buzzilion times better than watching brain-numbing TV, copy and paste this into your profile. If you use words like "buzzilion", copy and paste this into your profile. If you prefer cold and snow over heat and sun, paste this to your profile. If Eragon and Arya dont end up together, i will scream,start a rebellion, find C.P's house and personally SLAP! the living daylights out of him. Then ask for an autograph. Copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list if you are with me in the rebellion...ShadowKissedKK,Tameera, If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. (Teeheehee) If you have ever attempted to high-five someone and missed completely, copy and paste this into your profile. If ever you have spent a day looking for a particular word, and when someone mentions it you dramatically slap your forehead and yell "OOOHHH!! That's the word I was looking for!",copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate violence in the world and want peace, copy this onto your profile. If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you're such a loser that you actually read these copy into your profile things, copy this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever walked into a window, copy this onto your profile (yeah... that was funny!) Pessimism is good. If you are always pessimistic, you will never be disappointed, because you are thinking of the worst case scenario. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile. I prefer solitude over company. Copy and paste this in your profile you have the same feeling. If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile. If you often read three or more books at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever run into a stop sign, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever run into a stop sign more than once, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that being normal is vastly overrated, copy and paste this onto your profile Did you know the average person only reads three books per year? If you do not even believe it is possible to read that little, copy and paste this to your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this to your profile. 95 percent of teenagers are worried about being popular. If you are part of the 5 percent who are not, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever stayed up and read past 4 in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Latest for me is 4am) If you think Elva is an obnoxious jerk to EVERYONE, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile. If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile. 99 percent of teens would have a heart attack is facebook and myspace were simultaneously destroyed. If you would be one of the one percent who would be laughing your butt off, or attending a funeral and laughing your butt off, then copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Arya and Eragon are MEANT to be together. If CP doesn't make it happen i will applaud him for standing up to the fan base, staying true to his artistic direction, twisting the story to make us feel sooo much emotion we will burst and then i will find out where he lives, kidnap him, torture him, and then kill him for blasphemy. Feel the same? You know the drill! If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. 98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS! If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, xnarutoxrocksx,SakuraUchiha101, SakuraHarunoKinomoto, Storm Midnight, Star Wars nut, FlameWing41, Pie in the Face, AryaFan1121,Bookworm73 Drugs are bad news. Spread the word. If you actually enjoy reading, copy this into your profile. If you are of the opinion that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, copy this into your profile. If you have ever read something and got sucked into that book, copy this into your profile. If you enjoy books about dragons, copy this into your profile. If you enjoy fantasy in general, copy this into your profile. If you have copied and pasted more than 10 things into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you're not dead yet, Copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever ran into something while walking with a book, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy& Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile. (\)_(/) If you've ever seen an adult act like a gangsta or use slang and were freaked out, copy and paste this to your profile. There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you LOSE when it becomes weird. If you agree with this, copy and paste this to your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Ginormous Funtastic Everything, Kara Hitame, HopelessxRomanticx1993, boyzaremylife, September5Rhyme (and proud to do so), HisokaYukiko, fullmetal'sgirl92, DarkRose02, devotedtodreams, SkywardShadow, XxGaarasGirlXx, Gaaras1Girl, Saara-chan, BellaPerea, kairika, Arya-Svit-Kona1, InheritanceArtist(it happens daily ;), Pie in the Face, AryaFan1121,Bookworm73 If you know the difference between "its" and "it's", copy and paste this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you often read three or more books at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever lost someone (dogs and hamsters count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you! 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. (Sorry to those who had to read that...I didnt want to have to meet that girl...) If you cried, screamed, threw a fit or shouted FOR GOD'S SAKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING! when Arya rejected Eragon again, Copy and paste. Maybe we can bring them together using the powers of THE INTERWEB!!(Ok, ok, i wasnt THAT bad, but i was pretty peeved off...) Arya and Eragon are MEANT to be together. If CP doesn't make it happen i will applaud him for standing up to the fan base, staying true to his artistic direction, twisting the story to make us feel sooo much emotion we will burst and then probably kill him for the blasphemy Gay marriage: 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... -- If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think being unique is better than being cool( being unique is COOL), copy this into your profile If you have ever crashed into a wall(or anything else) while sugarhigh, copy and paste this into your profile Try Not To Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, WriterGirl3000, tietum, misto-shadow, M-Warrior, GreenWolfBoss, Azaria-Lady of Dreams, Devilsangelsaphire,Cloudhawk ShadowQueen25 MurtaghFanGirl13, Bookworm73 This about a little girl who was abused, if you care copy and paste this in your profile My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm sradishing to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I sradish to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! Month One. Month Two. Mommy, Month Three. You know what Mommy, Month Four. Mommy, Month Five. You went to the doctor today. Month Six. I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven. Mommy, Every abortion is just... One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this. I BELIEVE IN GOD A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it? PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, Repost this if you truly believe in God. Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... COME TO MY PARTY! THE TIGHTEST PARTY IN THE WORLD! So everyone come. But read the rest of this bulletin first. Come Kick it at The Biggest Party Ever. DETAILS BELOW.. Special Guest: Jesus Christ, God The Father, When: When you enter the Gates of Heaven Where: Kingdom of Heaven How: Just Ask Why: Because God Loves You! ... Come As You Are! Bring Nothing but Your Heart and Soul. 98 OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD... REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2 WHO WILL. Jesus said, "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny Repost as COME TO MY PARTY! You know you lived in 2006 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did 50 things to do on an elevator. 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of you kleenex to other passengers 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, damnit, all of you just shut up!" 4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It a Small World" incessantly. 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequence of the elevator. 7. Shave. 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the door open, then act embarrassed when they open themselves. 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol comming!" 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 14. One word: Flatulence! 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 16. Do Tai Chi exercises. 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" 19. Meow occasionally. 20. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 21. Push all of the buttons when you get off... Works great if there are still people on it. 22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. 24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!" 29. Leave a box between the doors. 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 31. Wear a puppet on you hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. 32. Start a sing-along. 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?" 34. Play the harmonica. 35. Shadow box. 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 37. Lean against the button panel. 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 39. Listen to the elevator wall with a stethoscope. 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "Personal space." 41. Bring a chair along to sit in. 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" 43. Blow spit bubbles. 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. 45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 46. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 47. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. 49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." 50. When the elevator starts moving you move up & down until the elevator shakes and yell "EARTHQUAKE!" I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!” FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it 35 Things to do when your in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go" 16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one. 17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price. 18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs. 19. Start a fish-stick fight. 20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended. 21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!" 22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf. 23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner." 24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store. 25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines. 26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section. 27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..." 28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". 29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught. 30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket. 31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs. 32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts. 33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back. 34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section. 35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid "I keep trying to kidnap Jasper, but every time Alice is waiting at his wwindow with a bat. How does she kn-... Oh right." (-Facebook Tag) I'm emo, so I MUST cut myself. I like cartoons, so I MUST be immature. I like to talk, so I MUST be a gossip. I don't fight back, so I MUST be pathetic. I wear black, so I MUST be goth. I'm intelligent, so I MUST be weak. I got a lower grade, so I MUST be dumb. I'm blonde, so I MUST be a ditz. I don't want a boyfriend, so I MUST be a lesbian. I'm a dancer, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm strong, so I MUST be stupid. I raise my hand, so I MUST be a teacher's pet. I dye my hair, so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm Christian, so I MUST convert you. I'm atheist, so I MUST hate other religions. I have a speech problem, so I MUST be retarded. I'm American, so I MUST be obese. I'm a cheer-leader, so I MUST be conceited. I play an instrument, so I MUST be a band geek. I'm white, so I MUST be selfish. I'm black, so I MUST be violent. I'm a writer, so I MUST have no life. I care about the environment, so I MUST be a hippie. I'm disabled, so I MUST be looking for pity. I don't like a specific black person, so I MUST be racist. I like rap/hip hop, so I MUST be ghetto. I live in a smaller house, so I MUST be poor. I lose and forget things, so I MUST be irresponsible. I'm bad at making friends, so I MUST be an outcast. I have no job, so I MUST be a drop-out. I'm sick of the world, so I MUST be suicidal. I don't like crowds, so I MUST be anti-social. I like online gaming, so I MUST be a geek. I'm a tomboy, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm emotional, so I MUST be a baby. I get angry, so I MUST be abusive. I have lots of friends, so I MUST be a prep. I'm fat, so I MUST have an eating problem. I'm skinny, so I MUST have an eating disorder. I have no interest in math, so I MUST be an idiot. I like school, so I MUST be a nerd. I don't cry, so I MUST not have feelings. I'm different, so I MUST not be allowed to fit in. I'm a person, so I MUST be LABELED. I'm german, so i MUST be a nazi --I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I like to read, so I MUST be a dork Add your own and copy this on your profile if you are SICK OF THIS CRAP 95 of kids would have a mental breakdown if "Miley Cyrus" was about to jump out of a moving helicopter, Copy and paste this into your profile if your one of the 5 with a bag of popcorn yelling ' jump bitch!' If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effect, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever mistaken a stick for a snake, copy and paste this into your profile If you hate obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile If you think Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this to your profile If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste this into your profile If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste into your profile Actual Consumer Labels - Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. - Bag of candy: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. - Bar of soap: Use like regular soap. - Dessert (bottom of box): Do not turn upside down. - Chainsaw: Warning - Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands. - Keyboard: Warning - To reduce possibilities of fatal injuries, please read instructions manual. - Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery after consuming. - Child's Superman Costume: Warning - Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. - American Airlines Packet of Peanuts: Instructions - Open bag, eat nuts. (Warning: May contain nuts.) - Swimming Pool: Please refrain from shaving when using the whirlpool or sauna. When You Dial A Mental Hospital Ring...Ring... Welcome to Psychiatric World. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the phone so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are delusional and hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. - If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. - If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. (IT'S ME!) - If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. - If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile If you love Jesus with one hundred percent of your heart copy and paste this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile If you are obsessed with Danny Phantom, copy this into your profile. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile. Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. :.:7 Ways to Scare your roommates:.: 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." YAOI ROCKS!! Repost this if you agree. ／l、 kitty! This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, " You will die in seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run! bitch, run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was fucking awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend will ask you why you are crying. A best friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just to help you cry. A good friend helps you when you fall. A best friend laughs and trips you again. The 6 truths of life... 1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue. 2. You just tried to do the above. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4. You're smiling now because you're realising you're an idiot. 5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it. 6. There's still a stupid smile on your face. XD How to Tell if You're a Writer -If you talk to yourself. Life's funniest Questions - Some things just don't make sense; 1. When a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose? 2. If stealing from one book is plagiarism, why is stealing from many research? 3. If vegetable oil is made out of vegetables, what is baby oil made out of? 4. Why is the alphabet in that order? 5. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest of them have to drown too? 6. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 7. If everything 'tastes like chicken', what does chicken taste like? 20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity: 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. - Not sure who said it first... sorry There are no stupid questions, just stupid people - Again don't know who said but i like it Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. - IDK but I love doing what others say i can't When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. - Hehe... IDk who said it ... The road to success is always under construction. -IDK but its funny My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of 3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the 5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that 18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.” 25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES. "If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay." 26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. I'm the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. --If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile.. I wrote your name in the sky One bright day in the middle of the night, --I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. --Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. --There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, now that's weird. --Being mature is overrated. --Being weird is like being normal, only better. --I see regular people! --I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. --I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. --Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls. --Smile... it confuses people. --Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! --The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. --I told my boyfriend he was gay and he hit me with his purse. --Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. --Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it." --Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... --I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. --I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! --One out of four people are insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you. --They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. --When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide. --I don't obsess, I think intensely. --Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. --Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great. --When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. --My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone. --My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground. --We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong. --Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbeegetting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face. --Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes. --Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly --An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! --You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder --You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing. --Multiply it by infinity, take it to the depths of forever and you'll still only have a glimpse of how much I love you. -- If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. --If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile.. --Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901 --Jaspar Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843 --Boys are like trees-- they take fifty years to grow up. --STFU!! You are NOT bringing sexy back!! --My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. --Your mom looks like VOLDEMORT!! (oh burn) --Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way. --Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. --You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Why America has some issues... 1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers,large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. 65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste this onto your profile If you easily finish one novel (or more) a day, copy this onto your profile. If you randomly sing this part of Umbrella, copy and paste this into your profile:"Under my umbrella, ella, ehe, ehe, under my umbrella, ella, ehe, ehe, ehe, under my umbrella, ella, ehe, ehe, ehe , ehe, If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (which is how much?) If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile If you have ever ran into a door, copy and paste this into your profile I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If random songs just pop into your head at any given momet, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family ect. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile. Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frick'n trix, copy and paste this into your profile. (Honestly! All he wants is a little bit of sugary cereal and/or yogurt) If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile IF YOU ARE ON A MAJOR SUGAR RUSH RIGHT NOW COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile. If you truely believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push copy this into your profile .eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you think that there is such a thing as the paranormal, copy this and paste it into your profile 1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3 WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome Copy and paste this into your profile if you and your BFFs watch movies just to laugh at them and make fun of them. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer! If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict. Things guys should know when dealing with girls 1. Don't tell us we're sexy, tell us we're beautiful 2. When we look at your lips, kiss us already 3. When we say something about Ben Barnes, Ian Somerhalder, or Taylor Lautner (etc.) just smile and nod. 4. If your girlfriend blames being moody on PMS, she's upset with you and hopes you'll figure it out on your own. 5. As much as you might use it around your friends... never say boobies around girls. 6. That said, never say "Oh boobies!" in front of us. 7. We don't give a damn about how hot a girl in your math class is, if you talk about her in front of us... she might have a broken nose in math tomorrow. 8. Never say "Jockstrap" in front of us. 9. When we ignore you, but we're smiling, we think you're the best person on earth. 10. When we blush for no reason... its cause your in the room. 11. Don't try to understand PMS... unless you exprience it... you won't understand it. Trust me. 12. Kiss us in the rain 13. Kiss our nose 14. When we say we're okay, we're not. 15. When we seem flushed and annoyed about something. Ask what it is. 16. When you are out and she says she wants something little like a necklace from Claire's ... buy it for her later and give it to her the next time you see her. 17. When we say that we miss you, nobody on earth misses you more 18. Say sorry even if you didn't do anything 19. Don't say we deserve better... we choose you. Boredm Busters 1. Try not to think about penguins. 2. Make prank calls 3. Look up a really hot celb on the web and drool over them 4.Try to find something for your BFF's next birthday. 5. Atempt knitting. 6. Write a list of boredm busters. 7. Read my story on this site 8. Look up Norman Bates 9. Email grandma 10. Update your blog. 11. Think how Dimka probably will be saved in Spirit Bound and feel happy. 12. Eat 6 spoons of suger and get hyper... you will find something to do... trust me. 13. Think of something funny your BFF said the other day. 14. Think about how cringy the fashion sense was in 1960 15. Drool over Taylor Lautner. 16. Get Prince Caspian from your video store and spend 2:27:22 hours drooling over Ben Barnes. 17. Think about that guy in your math class who makes it hard to breathe right. 18. Try to imitate the bitch in your english class. 19. Try to immate your older sibling and see how pissed they get 20. Write your autobiography about yourself 21. Write an embarasing bio about your BFF 22. Compare you and your BFF to Lissa and Rose. 23. Read the lust charm scene in Vampire Academy. 24. Stare at someone in your house. 25. Stare at your cat. 26. Change clothes. 27. Take a shower. 28. Wonder if I was trying to tell you something in the "Take a shower" idea. 29. Give your pet an interesting new haircut 30. Drop your cat from a high window, see if they land on all fours. 31. Let your dog chase after a car 32. Let him catch it Ten things to see before you die 1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal. 2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies. 3. Homer say something intelligent. 4. Taxes disappear. 5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes. 6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children. 7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect. 8. Wrestling people forget their moves. 9. The coyote catch the road runner. 10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing. you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile Emmett's the strongest. But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous. If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consectutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have an ipod and love rocking out to it, post on profile. My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile If you think Jasper Hale is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile 10 really good comebacks 1. I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice. 2. Does your train of thought have a caboose? 3. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? 4. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. 5. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 6. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 7. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them. 8. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 9. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me? 10. If I throw a stick, will you leave? Rose: Do I ever cross your mind? Rose: Do you like me? Rose: Do you want me? Rose: Would you cry if I left? Rose: Would you live for me? Rose: Would you do anything for me? Rose: Choose--me or your life Rose runs away in shock and pain and Dimitri runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. READ VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR I'LL PROVOKE THE STRIGOI AND BLAME YOU! -if you wish you could go to St. Vladimir's Academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile if you are so angry at the freaking strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this -if vampires are real, post it -if you have read every vampire book you can get your little hands on, post it up! -If you support the ‘Rose somehow SAVING and NOT KILLING Dimitri’ club, copy this Can I ask you something? If you walked up to a gay or lesbian person and said hi, what do you think they would do? No they wouldn't try to touch you in any weird places. No they wouldn't flash you. No they wouldn't rob you. No they wouldn't curse at you. Yes they would say hi and move on with their lives. Just like you would. Because they are just like you. They aren't aliens. They're humans. And we're all humans. So what's the difference if they're homosexual? Huh? Re post this if you think homophobia is wrong and should be stopped. If you are homophobic. Then you are a shithead. I do not respect your views. ITS OKAY TO BE GAY AND LESBIAN!! If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile. If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes about twilight, copy this into your profile. Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile THINGS TO NEVER BE SAID WITHIN EARSHOT OF A VAMPIRE & WHY 1) Bite me-he might take it as an invitation 2) Over my dead body-he might take it literally 3) Damn-he might be sensitive about that, remember, vamps are eternally damned 4) Bloody murder-he'll wonder if he committed it unknowingly 5) I'm gonna kill you-he might want to help 6) Vampires don't exist-he might get offended, then be angry with you & I don't know about you but I wouldn't want a vamp mad at me 7) Go to Hell-he's on his way, or so he thinks, don't remind him 8) That guy over there is a sexy vampire-he'll move and you won't get to be his equivelant to Bella or Elena, or any of the other human chicks that run with the vamps Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: If you found these just too funny, put them on your profile too! Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done! lol these things are COOL!! -If you hate someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way you are a mile away from them AND you have their shoes. -Wish for what you want...work for what you need -When you love someone you can tell...when you're in love with someone, every one else can. -They laugh because I'm different...i laugh because they're the same. I'd rather be hated for who i am the loved for who I'm not. -The TRUTH is that everyone going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain. -You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad- Aldous Huxley - Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.- Vernon Law -Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. - Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.-Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment. -BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS -BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool! When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" "We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box." I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow "When there's a will, I want to be in it." A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. - There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. - "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - He who laughs last didn't get it. -Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. -I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. -The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. -When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. -I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. -Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. "She's my best friend. Break her heart, and I'll break your face." "I plan on living forever...so far so good." "The greater danger for most of us is not that Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought Don’t mess with me I've got a stick I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad When she stares at your mouth When she pushes you or hits you When she starts cussing at you When she's quiet When she ignores you When she pulls away When you see her at her worst When you see her start crying When you see her walking When she's scared When she lays her head on your shoulder When she steals your favorite hat When she teases you When she doesn't answer for a long time When she looks at you with doubt When she says that she likes you When she grabs at your hands When she bumps into you When she tells you a secret When she looks at you in your eyes When she misses you When you break her heart When she says its over When she repost this bulletin Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; The Right Guy: Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants, who holds your hand in front of all his freinds, who thinks your beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you, THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER! Girls Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL, Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART, Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, Calling me POOR won't make you RICH, Calling me FAT wont make you SKINNY, Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL, So why bother? Bella: "It's...a cow." If you have ever fallen down the stairs copy this into your profile If people think you are mentally insane copy this into your profile If they are right copy and paste this into your profile If you think everyone's out of their minds (including yourself...but that's a given), copy and paste this to your profile If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you've ever randomly burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever had a really (and I mean really) obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly stupid, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile If you think the Co-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile! Copy And Paste this If you can't walk across a flat surface with out finding some way to trip! (Yep...Happens all the frikin time...I also tripped down the staires cause of a peice of chocolate lint on the floor... :) Yea...I Is very smart Rolls eyes) Copy And Paste this If your a Brunette with ALOT Of Blonde Moments.. (Blonde Pplz Dont Take offence!!) I love You, you Love ME! Lets Go out And Kill Barnie, With a shot gun BANG BANG! Barnie on the floor, No more stupid dinosaur! COPY AND PASTE THAT TILL BARNIE DIES!! Mwhahaha Copy and Paste If you have ever fallen down and suddenly burst out crying because Edward Cullen wasn't there to catch you. ( I have and it HURT!!) Copy And Paste this If you Like Copy and Pastes!! Mwhahah things tothink about when you are on a tiolet: If a quiz is called a quizzical, then what do you call a test? Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice? -When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. -Education is important; school however, is another matter. -Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message. -Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. -If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. -Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters? There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. -It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. -Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls. If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile! If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile! If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. AACD is Addicted to All Cullens Disorder Fine the Real Definition (From Italian Job) F.reaked Out I.nsecure N.uerotic E.motional Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? 93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it. Don't be one of those people. Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you "Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you." "If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words." "Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you." ~ Emmett Cullen "All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Twilight Oath- The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... 16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 33 Things to do in an Elevator: 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11) 3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15) 4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13 5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2) 6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12) 7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL 8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14) 9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4) 10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7) 11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6) 12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 ) 13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10) 14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3) 15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9) HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on University of Arizona chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh God.' THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+. |
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