Name: classified

Age: classified

Gender: classified

Location: Planet Earth

Likes: Fanfiction, Naruto, Wolf's Rain, Kyuubi, writing, drawing, Kyuubi, listening to music, Kyuubi, my annoying little sister, my friends, Kyuubi, watching tv, playing video games, buying songs for my ipod, Kyuubi

Favorite Characters (Naruto):

KYUUBI

Itachi

Naruto (only in stories where he's smart/strong) and chibi!Naruto

Pein

Obito

Minato

Kushina

The Bijuu

Favorite Parts of Stories:

Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto

Sasuke awoke with a splitting headache.

"Ugh...what happened?" the last thing he remembered was something falling on his head, then everything went black.

He tried to move his arm, but noticed that there was a lot of extra weight on it. He looked over and saw pink hair...

'Wait a minute...pink hair?...!!' Sasuke resisted the urge to scream, as Sakura seemed to be asleep.

"Mmm, Sasuke-kun...harder..." Sakura mumbled in her sleep.

Sasuke's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. '"HARDER"?! Do WHAT harder?!' he frantically tried to recall doing anything with or to his female teammate.

"Ohhh, yeeesss...right there...that's it..." Sakura continued to make lude comments in her sleep.

Sasuke's eye twitched violently. How could this have happened? And why with her of all people?!

"Mmm, It's sooooo good..." Sakura mumbled.

Little did Sasuke know, Sakura's dream consisted of him giving her a massage, and cooking for her. Despite her seemingly naughty words, her dream was fairly innocent.

"Sasuke-kun...should I get the whip-..." Sakura mumbled the rest, but Sasuke had heard enough to jump to a conclusion. What he didn't know was that Sakura was just asking him if she should get the whipped cream for the sundaes they were eating in her dream.

But because Sasuke hadn't bothered to pay close enough attention, he was completely terrified.

Sakura chose this moment to snuggle up to her "pillow". She buried her face in the crook of Sasuke's neck and took a deep sniff.

This set Sasuke off and he did the only thing he could...

The citizens of Konohagakure no Sato all cringed as a terrified scream ripped through the relative peace of the streets. When people realised that it was coming from the Uchiha compound, many thought that Itachi had come back to finish what he started.

The Hokage immediately dispatched a squad of ANBU. Some ninja that were near the compound also ran to aid the last loyal Uchiha.

On a building a mile away from the compound, Naruto sat on the roof, then stood up when he heard the scream. He laughed maniacally when he saw the amount of ninja coming to the compound.

'All according to plan.' he chuckled as he jumped down to join the "rescue party".

Naruto shrugged again. "She hates Hatake with a passion, I just really don't like him."

Mitara just nodded.

"Hey Naruto, Mitara!" two identical voices called out on either side of them.

Mitara looked over and saw an ANBU in a deer mask. "What's up, Isaro?" he greeted his friend.

Naruto looked over and saw an ANBU in a jackal mask. "Hello Inaro-san."

"Hey, dudes! So, what do you think's up with the Uchiha?" Inaro asked.

"Yeah, we heard that scream all the way across the village!" Isaro said.

Inaro and Isaro were twin brothers from the Mokiten clan, a little known clan, but they had some powerful family techniques. The only way to tell the two apart without their masks was their odd hairstyles. Inaro's hair was slicked back into a ponytail on the left side, and it fell in front of the entire right side of his face. Isaro's hair was slicked back into a ponytail on the right side, and fell in front of his face on the left side.

Mitara shrugged. "Don't know, but that sounded like a scream of terror, not pain. So I highly doubt Itachi is back, besides, from what I know of his personality he would wait until Sasuke at least had the third level of the Sharingan."

Inaro and Isaro nodded. "So, what is going on then? If it ain't Itachi...There ain't much that could make an Uchiha scream like that, even if he is only a kid." Inaro said.

Mitara shrugged again. "I could be wrong, but I have an idea of who's behind it." he cast a suspicious glance at Naruto.

Both twins caught the look. "So, this is your doing, eh Naruto?" Isaro asked.

Naruto just looked at them with a small glint in his eyes. "I guess I've been found out, oh well. Shall we go see the fruits of my labor?" he said as he pulled out a non-flash low-light camera.

Mitara and the twins looked at each other and nodded, also pulling out cameras identical to Naruto's. "Oh yeah." they all chorused. Naruto's pranks were quite famous amongst ninja at Jounin level and above, as they were the only ones with even a hope of catching Naruto in the act, or seeing him fleeing the scene.

The odd group of three ANBU and a Genin picked up their pace, wanting to get to the Uchiha compound before the others so they could get the pictures without anyone seeing them.

(Back With Sasuke)

After he had screamed, Sasuke had passed out, and Sakura had awakened. She saw Sasuke still asleep and squealed, thinking that it was a dream, she went back to sleep, a content smile on her face.

This was the scene that Naruto, Mitara, Inaro, and Isaro arrived to see. Naruto was chuckling evilly, Inaro and Isaro had lecherous grins behind their masks, and Mitara was desperately trying not to laugh, and was failing miserably.

The ANBU were about to take their pictures, but Naruto stopped them.

"Wait, there's still one last thing to do."

The ANBU cocked their heads to the side. "What more could you possibly do to them?" Mitara asked, though he was looking forward to finding out.

Naruto just grinned madly behind his mask and turned to Sasuke. He took out two small pills, one was light blue and the other was dark red. He placed them both in Sasuke's mouth when he opened it to snore loudly.

"What was that?" Mitara asked.

Naruto turned to him with a devilish glint in his eyes. "Fast acting Viagra and a 'Grin' pill."

"What's a Grin pill?"

"You'll see."

After about two minutes a visible bulge formed in the Uchiha's pants, and his face held a grin that was close to splitting his head in half.

"So that's your plan." Mitara snickered.

"Oh, I'm not done yet." Naruto said.

His cloak extended and grabbed Sakura's hand and placed it on Sasuke's erection. Then he took out a bottle of library paste. He placed the white glue all over Sasuke and Sakura's faces and hair. He also put some on the bed and the walls. He took out a tissue box and crumpled some of them and tossed them randomly on the bed and around the room after putting some glue inside them. He even stuck one to the ceiling for extra laughs.

Inaro and Isaro were almost rolling on the floor, and Mitara looked like his head was about to explode from laughter. How they managed not to make a sound was an ANBU secret.

After Naruto was done the entire room looked like something directly out of Kakashi's books. He stepped back to take the pictures, but he was stopped by Mitara.

"Wait, Naruto, there's still one more thing. A little 'gift' for when they wake up." he took the glue from Naruto and put some on Sakura's hand, then placed it back on Sasuke's crotch.

Inaro and Isaro were on the floor now, absolutely rolling while instinctively covering their mouths, even though they were wearing masks.

Naruto nodded. "Now it's perfect." he took the first picture.

He and the ANBU all took pictures from different angles, grinning like demons the whole time.

"These are definitely going on the Highlight Wall at headquarters." Inaro snickered.

"Oh yeah." Isaro agreed.

"Why stop there?" Mitara said.

"We could put them up all over the village. I'll even deliver some to the Uchiha Fanclub, they'll be sure to throw a fit about them." Naruto said.

They all stopped when they felt the first chakra sigature enter the compound. Naruto used his cloak to grab Mitara and the twins and they sank into the floor. Naruto kept them all on the edge of the Shadow Realm and the normal world, so they could watch everything without any one noticing.

The first person knocked down the door and they were surprised to see it was Kakashi himself.

As soon as Kakashi saw Sasuke he started to call them others. "He's in here and he's...!" he did a double take when he saw the state of the room and two of his students in a very compromising position. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" he shouted.

To be Blunt, Sarcastic, and Psychotic

The office was silent until the door was thrown open by Jiraiya followed by Kisame, Itachi, and Naruto.

"Jiraiya, if that door is broken, you're the one that's going to be fixing it, by hand." Sarutobi stated.

"Aww, don't be like that old man!"

"Try looking in the mirror sometime Ero-Sannin." Naruto said as he closed the door behind him. Forcefully.

"Oi, what are you trying to do?! You did that purposefully didn't you," Jiraiya yelled in panic as the door gave a strange groan. "What do you have to say for yourself you brat?!"

"It's not my problem." Naruto said with a nonchalant shrug. He ignored the fuming Jiraiya as the Hokage's secretary pulled in some chairs for them to sit in. She pushed up her glasses and glared at Jiraiya, she was peeked on at the hot springs, before leaving through another door.

"Can't you just say 'oops' or something?" Jiraiya growled as he took his seat next to an amused Kisame.

"Oops." He said flatly as he ignored his chair and climbed onto Itachi's lap.

"At least say it meaningfully!"

"What is the point of saying it meaningfully when I don't mean it?" Naruto asked and turned away. He could feel Itachi's chest vibrating slightly with his low chuckles.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"It's not like it's my fault anyways."

"Don't try to lie when everyone saw you doing it!" Jiraiya yelled pointing a finger at the blond.

"Doing what?" Naruto asked.

"Closing the door!"

"Of course I closed the door you senile old man. Do you want everyone to hear what we're about to say in here?" Naruto demanded.

"I'm not senile! Ugh, you know what? Forget it. I'm getting tired just from arguing with you." Jiraiya groaned as he leaned back against his chair.

"Hmm, that's not the first time I've heard someone say that. I forgot who said it the last time though." Naruto said as tapped his chin in thought.

"Why am I not surprised?" Jiraiya muttered.