Elloz readers. There isn't really much to say about me. Except I like milkshakes, wrestling, and the occasional twilight movie.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm (naturally) BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black too.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, so I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a kilt.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every Man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and Cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: Past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT; I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at One mistake

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist

I'm FRENCH so I must have tasted SNAILS and FROG LEGGS and liked it!

I'm a PACIFIST so I MUST be a peace-loving Hippy thing.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

Those totally random copy/paste thingies

How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. 'I wonder why I talk to myself ch?')
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. 'Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word 'deliver' could mean someone's liver?')
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, 'Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!'
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else's e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no 'apparent' reason.
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
Copy and Paste this if you're a writer

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn three times.
2) You own the above mentioned books.
3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Breaking Dawn the Movie, you never want to see it, and yet you're going to buy tickets the second you can.
4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyer's web site.
5) You have reread a lot of these pages.
6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.
7) You write fanfiction about Twilight. (Not yet. But I plan on it!)
8) At one point or another, you have had a screen name/username that says something about Twilight or its characters.
9) You constantly count the days until the New Moon movie comes out.
10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Breaking Dawn, you acted as a missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read them.
11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".
12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.
13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off. Without getting saved by Jacob.
14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk about.
15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2008 for Breaking Dawn to come out, you almost cried.
16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you like best.
17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.
18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories, you never get tired of it.
19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing you read.
20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a vampire.
21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.
22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.
23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people who don't understand it just haven't read the book.
24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.
26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information
27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns
28). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website
29). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series
30). Your screen saver reads "New Moon movie: November 20, 2009"
31). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition
32). You put your Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Breaking Dawn poster in plain view so that everyone can see it
33). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books
34). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them
35). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines
36). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die
37). You know you're addicted, but you don't care
38). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for November 20th!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psycho
39). You're more excited about the release of the New Moon movie than anything to do with Harry Potter
40). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown
41). You noticed there is no number 25 (no, I didn't and I feel stupid about it...)

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR

1.When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15.Swat at flies that don't exist.

16.Tell people that you can see their aura.

17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"

27.When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "9") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker!"

28.Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

29.Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

30.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

31.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

32.Meow occasionally.

33.Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

34.Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

35.When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

36.Say "Ding!" at each floor.

37.Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

38.Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

IN THE CINEMA: Wait for it to go quiet and then stand up loudly and yell "I can't find the remote to change the channel!"

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

16. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

17. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

18. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

19. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

20. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

21. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

22. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

23. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

24. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

25. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

26. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best friend: Would be in the room next to me saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks up with me
Best friend: Will call him, whispering "Seven days..."

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks my heart
Best Friend: Will help me plot my revenge and get with his best friend

Friend: Calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
Best friend: Calls your parents dad and mom.

Friend: Has never seen you cry
Best Friend: Has always had the best shoulder to cry on

Friend: Never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: Opens the fridge and makes herself at home

Friend: Asks you to write down your number.
Best friend : They ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it)

Friend: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back
Best friend: Has a closet full of your stuff

Friend: Only knows a few things about you
Best friend: Could write a biography on your life

Friend: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: Will always go with you

Friend: Will help you find your prince.
Best friend: Will kidnap him and brings him to you.

Friend: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
Best friend: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

Friend: Will offer you a soda.
Best friend: Will dump theirs on you.

Friend: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
Best friend: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

Friend: Will give you their umbrella in the rain.
Best friend: Will take yours and say, "Run - beep - run!"

Friend: Will help you move.
Best friend: Will help you move the bodies.

Friend: Will console you when you house catches on fire.
Best friend: Will roast marshmallows and flirt with the firemen.

Friend: Will ask why you're crying.
Best friend: Will already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

Friend: Will tell you she knows how you feel.
Best friend: Will just sit down and cry.

Friend: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Best friend: Will already know not to tell.

Friend: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
Best friend: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

Friend: Will never ask for food.
Best friend: Is the reason you have no food.

Friend: Will knock on your front door.
Best friend: Will walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

Friend: Will say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
Best friend: Will not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

Friend: Will say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
Best friend: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Natural Highs
Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one. It Does Make You Feel Good, especially #45.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say somethi ng nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what.

If you rearrange the following words, you'll find that the same letters spell the given definition. Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

Dormitory: Dirty room

Astronomer: Moon starer

George Bush: He bugs Gore

The eyes: They see

Slot machine: Cash lost in me

Desperation: A rope ends it

Presbyterian: Best in prayer

Election results: Lies! Let's recount

Snooze alarm: Alas! no more z's

Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one

Mother in law: Woman Hitler

The Morse code: Here come dots

A decimal point: I'm a dot in place

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As Part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped if favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 2 letters shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Some of my friends actually took this seriously. If you had a good laugh or if you just think it's funny, copy and paste it into your profile, and pass it onto others who could have a good laugh.

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is an cat

This is idiot cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done!

TOTAL DUH!! WARNINGS/DIRECTIONS/INGREDIENTS from RANDOM items:

On a Diet Dr. Pepper can: serving size: 1 can (uh... DUH!)

On a nail polish bottle: made in US with foriegn parts (Which means... DING, DING, DING WE HAVE A WINNER, which means that it's foreign!)

One a package of Christmas lights: WARNING: for in door and outdoor use only (As opposed too...?)

On a package of peanuts: WARNING: ITEM CONTAINS NUTS (DUH. Well, not duh. IDIOT. Peanuts are vegetables.)

Pn a Swedish chainsaw: WARNING: do not stop chain with hands (Is this happening somewhere??)

On a package of American Airlines peanuts: DIRECTIONS: OPEN BAG. EAT NUTS. (Some genius is getting payed big bucks for this! Step 3: Maybe, uh... FLY DELTA?)

On a Japanese food processor: Warning: do not use for the other use! (Okay, now I'm curious...)

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...And you thought...?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because...?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

Failed Inventions!

Elevator that only goes up

Car that only goes in reverse

Car with manual transmission... and no clutch

Satellite TV with 500+ channels... and every channel airs Sesame Street, Barney, and Teletubbies 24/7

Front door that can only be unlocked from the inside

Bottle of soda that doesn't have a cap

There's three ways to do things:.
.: The right way :.
.: The wrong way :.
.: And my way, which is wrong too, but faster!:.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303, Kinkatia, Portagas D. Yumi. Why me why not you, Society's Damnation, Gaara The Eternal, cats-rock-and-so-does-cheese, SoujaGurl, EmpireofShadow, Flightgirl, Vera A

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, UPDRAFTGIRL37,silentflier, Maximum Ride the Hero, Kara Nicole, Vera A

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight, freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, MyNameIsCAB, chibi-sarus, hawkstar2, CrazyLittleKookoo, Vera A

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, Dawn over the Valley, Captain Samantha Lovegood, LilyGinnyBlack, Lilyre, Hermione16, iLoVeMoOnYnPaDfOot, Someone aka Me,Yourcool79, Give up your Prejudices, MyNameIsCAB, chibi-sarus, hawkstar2, CrazyLittleKookoo, Vera A

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar, Samishi Destiny, Silverstar's Shadow, Darkangel24700, iLoVeMoOnYnPaDfOoT, Someone aka Me,Yourcool79, Give up your Prejudices, MyNameIsCAB, chibi-sarus, hawkstar2, CrazyLittleKookoo, Vera A

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, and were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list, Sapphirepaw (Its fun), Littlewhisker ((haha, I get so much done that way!)), Patronus Charm (if i don't due something other than home work while doing homework I can't do my homework. does that make any sense?) Lillith Midnight Moneypenny (How else are you meant to get your work done without something to work towards?), Vera A

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictionl boyfriend Edward. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rymes. Crazy is when you hear the Twilight Characters voices in your head. Crazy is when stare at the ceiling for three hours thinking of what to put in the next chapter of your fanfiction and then forget what book it's based on. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good and then have Spiffy the Hobbit and Pooky the Penguin attempt to eat him and when they fail miserably tell Fang that he's a "bad boy" and then ask him if he wants a cat. (Go check out "Another Form of the Avain Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom! That's where the idea for this came from.)

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. (GO PARAMORE!)

98 percent of all teens have drank alchohol. If you're one of the 2 percent that likes pita chips, copy and paste this into your profile.

My ceiling is white. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two mooses meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Chocolate tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are like Nudge, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If FAX is your drug, post this on your profile

If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever repeatedly ran into a glass door copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you have a secret that nobody knows copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should get together NOW copy and paste this into your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character to steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this in your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with Fanfiction, then copy this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever worn stilettos so you could use them as a weapon, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you know the meaning of the word "penultimate", copy and paste this to your profile.

If you can solve a Rubik's cube without using a fork, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever randomly compared Aro and Ari because their names a close together, even though one's a vampire and the other's a lupine/human genetic recombinant and they're in completely different book series, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done the exact same thing with Lauren and Laurent, who happen to be in the same book series but are still completely different species, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you laughed out loud while reading Maximum Ride, copy this onto your profile.

If you go through profiles like mad, looking at all of the copy/pastey-thingies, and copy/paste every single one that has a remote chance of being interesting, fill up your profile to the limit, and continue doing it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you screamed like a little kid when you found out a Maximum Ride movie was coming out, copy this onto your profile. (Yeah, I squealed like a child on Christmas... So sue me, alright?)

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you risk severe lower back problems because of being hunched over the computer so long, copy and paste this into your profile then get off the goddamn computer, Quasimodo!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that TWILIGHT is the best book known to woman kind...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile. ~KASEY MOVED TO GERMANY!! :'(

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile. (Heck, I get excited at one!)

If you love copy and paste its, even though there useless, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a ‘watch your step’ sign, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run up a down escalator copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-Coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you're a perfectionist and it gets you in trouble more times than humans have created a number for, copy this into your profile.

If you compulsively edit other people's work , copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you're often confused for a shy and quiet person (but definitely aren't), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

IF YOU HAVE EVER BURST OUT LAUGHING ABOUT SOMETHING IN A BOOK, AND PEOPLE LOOKED AT YOU WEIRD, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever run down an "up" escalator, paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever run up a "down" escalator, paste this into your profile.

If you are counting the days until the New Moon movie comes out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes forget to breathe while reading Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever ran into a parked car, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think Stephenie Meyer is one of the best writers in existence, copy this into your profile.

If you think Mike Newton should be run over by a bus copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that bus should also take out Eric copy and paste this into your profile

If you think just for the heck of it that bus should also take out Jessica and Lauren copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're crazy and you know it, don't just clap your hands, but copy and past this into your profile!

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been looking for something, then forgot what it was and why it was so important, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a mind that you're sure no one will understand, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I, like, can't believe, I, like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a little voice inside your head that talks to you constantly and won't shut up, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been in an awkward situation before paste this.

If you like rollercoasters paste this.

Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you always say 'uhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, etc) copy this to your profile.

If you have an annoying younger --or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

If you start to freak out when you can't find one of your copies of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn when really you haven't lost it but your evil sadistic bunny of a sister thought it would be funny to hide them from you just so she could see you freak out, copy and paste this to your profile. (I'm constantly freaking! My sister has Tw, NM, and BD with her three hundred miles away in Florida!)

If, when you have a girl, you'll seriously consider naming her Isabella...copy/paste this into your profile. (Actually, it'd be more based on the fact one of my best friend's name is Bella... but still. :)

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell and hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you think Aro acts like a creepy camp councilor, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile

If you have ever tripped over a person, copy this into your profile.

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a detention or library or somewhere where it is supposed to be quiet copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorphs version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family ect. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

IF YOU ARE ON A MAJOR SUGAR RUSH RIGHT NOW COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you have a weird habit of writing inside jokes somewhere anyone can see, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. (Okay, not certain at all whether means "write" or "read".)

If you're too busy petting your cat and/or reading fanfiction to finish one novel a day, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, TV show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever run into a mirror, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe than putt thes in yoor profiele

If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when the ice cream truck comes down your street copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to re-enact 9/11 with building blocks, put this in your profile.

If you are Homo sapiens, put this in your profile.

If you use both Firefox and IE at the same time, put this in your profile.

If you know more than 3 programming languages, put this in your profile.

If you love irritating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have total blonde moments copy this into your profile

If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this!

If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile

If you've ever started singing in a silent room copy this onto your profile

PONDER THIS

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops On my desk, I have a work station. Shouldn't that be where the work stops?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Why is it that 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, it's encouraged!?
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
Isn't it weird how the main characters in Maximum Ride and Dark Angel are both genetically recombinant beings named Max?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
Can bald men get lice?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse
Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?
Why is it called common sense if it's so rare?

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed - I'm not a can, so don't label me.

Excuse me...have you seen my sanity?...I think I lost it.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Come over to the good side, we have Edward Cullen and chocolate!

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

When life gives you hell, you charge in with a bucket of water.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the door bell then say trick or treat!

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Boys are like pennies, two faced and worthless.

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.

When life gives you lemons throw them in life's face, they're probably poisoned.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B, well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is - why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough!

I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

There is no "I" in team but there is definitely a "ME"...

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous.

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I agree with the dictionary: girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world: ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, for I may not return alive.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

'Hold my purse.'

He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear pants don't you?

You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary.

I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog, with ice on the road.

The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what your up too

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for eating most of them.

I'm the kind of girl who's not afraid to prank my friends.

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE!

I don't get even, I get odder.

If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.

If I were any lazier, I would slip into a coma!

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed Ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Never drink water...if it can rust iron, think of what it can do to your stomach.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dieing
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you have a heart.

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?

New Moon

New Moon or Eclipse?

New Moon

Eclipse or Twilight?

Eclipse!

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

Jacob. Duh.

Who do you like more: Bella or Edward?

Neither.

Bella or Jacob?

Jacob.

Bella or Alice?

Alice.

Alice or Jacob?

Jacob.

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice.

Jasper or Alice?

Jasper.

Jasper or Edward?

Jasper.

Carlisle or Esme?

Carlisle.

Emmett or Jasper?

Both.

Emmett or Jacob?

Jacob.

Bella or Rosalie?

Rosalie.

Esme or Charlie?

Charlie.

Charlie or Carlisle?

Charlie.

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie.

Jacob or Sam?

Jacob...No Sam...hmmm.. Both.

Sam or Quil?

Quil.

Quil or Embry?

Um... both?

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria.

Werewolves or Vampires?

Werewolves!

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in parentheses.
5. Post this in your profilel.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?

Skyscraper by demi lovato

2. How would you describe yourself?

Forever by Drake

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

Itty Bitty Piggy by Nicki Minaj

4. How do you feel today?

The Diary Of Jane by Breaking Benjamin

5. What is your life's purpose?

Beautiful by Eminem

6. What is your motto?

Firework by Katy Perry

7. What do your friends think of you?

Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles

8. What do you think of your parents?

My Favorite Revolution by Eugene Edwards (who is HE?)

9. What do you think about very often?

The Duck Song by unknown

10. What is 2 + 2?

This Is The One by Stone Roses

11. What do you think of your best friend?

Don't Wanna Go Home by Jason Derulo

12. What do you think of the person you like?

Hairbrush Song by The Veggie Tales (that's what I get for letting my friend use my ipod, eh?)

13. What is your life story?

Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship (hmmmm :D)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

The Creationist by Kerli (whaaa?)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

"These Little Chinese Nuts" spoken by Chow from The Hangover 1 (AWKWARD!!!!)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Hold It Against Me by Brittney Spears

17. What will they play at your funeral?

Super Bass by Nicki Minaj ft Ester Dean (wtf???)

18. What is your hobby/interest?

If I Die Young by The Band Perry (so not true D: )

19. What is your biggest fear?

Keep Awake by 100 Monkeys (jasper's/jackson's band!!!)

20. What is your biggest secret?

What Hurts The Most by Cascada (hmmm sooo true XD)

21. What do you think of your friends?

3 Best Friends by Zach Galifinakus off of the Hangover movie (ironic eh?)

22. What will you post this as?

North American Scum by LCD Soundsystem...errr... just never mind...