Hey guys! Sorry about the elongated hiatus on everything. I'm just now getting back into the mood of writing. My style might be a little different, but I will be updating things again. I'll read back through some of the things I have partially written chapters for (there are several) and maybe update some of the things I have been working on a lot recently. Alse is so back to the internet!! hehehe

I wear my hair in a ponytail

Green eyes (light blue almost grey when mad)

About 5'3"

Pale skin

Wears glasses

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile! Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal electrocute the poor animals. And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! Now copy this into your freakin' profile, damnit! If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile!

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! LONG LIVE CERES! PLUTO'S SISTER PLANET IN THE ASTROID BELT!

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Too many people are on crack/marijuana. If you're not, then add this to your bio.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you are left-handed and proud of it.

If you wish that fictional characters were real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this in your profile.

The white man said, “Colored people are not allowed here.”

The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: “Listen sure…when I was born, I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I’m sick I’m BLACK, when I go in the sun I’m BLACK, when I’m cold I’m BLACK, when I die I’ll be BLACK. But you sir, when you’re born you’re PINK, when you grow up, you’re WHITE, when you’re sick, you’re GREEN, when you go in the sun, you turn RED, when you’re cold you turn BLUE, and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?”
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away… Post this on your profile if you hate racism

(\_/)
(O.o) This is Killer Bunny.
( ) Copy the Killer Bunny into your profile to help her on her way to world domination.

Homophobia is WRONG!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it and you don't have to be gay to do so. I'm not, but I will stand up against anyone who has a problem with homosexuality

All I want is to: Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

who actually means it instead of just says it.

If your looking for that special guy too, post this in your profile and he might just see this

If you approve of gay marriages put this on your profile and add your name to the list: Gaara's-pandachan101, 678yui-julie-and-kiki-kitten, Demon Lord Sesshomaru, Blood Red Tensai, Kimatra, Fullmetal Embers, An Angel Flying on Broken Wings, Twillightfairy, animechic14, MBL3

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told).

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo (or gay).

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I'm OVER 21 so I MUST be able to drive and like to drink.

You remember reading "Goosebumps" You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not When everything was settled by -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -ms. mary mack When kick ball was a daily activity. When we used to obey our parents You used to listen to the radio all day long just to r ecord your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember The Original Game Boy. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, .a.broken.heart.within. The Most OOC Writer Around, Mask of Mirage, EcoliandDahChihuahua, Flower of the Desert, SarcasticallyTroublesomeGirl, LunarRose73, Serenity Silence, -True-Destiny-99-, phoenixgurl195,riana_rox, KaL KeY, heeroduoyaoilover(Duo and Quatre), VioletEyed-Demon, Twillightfairy, animechic14, MBL3

Hey read this guys!!

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

The Difference Between a Friend and a Best Friend

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friend: Gives you their umbrella in the rain

Best friend: Takes yours and says, "RUN, LOSER, RUN!"

Friend: Wipes your tears when your rejected

Best friend: Goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

Friends: wont steal your food

Best friends: are the reaosn you have no food

Friends: will bail you out of jail

Best friends: are the ones standing next to you screaming and pounding on the bars yelling "let us out of here!"

Friends: will comfort you if your crying

Best friends: will ask you 'Whose ask am i kicking today

Friends: will buy you a pregnancy test and sit quitly at the bathroom door letting you have your moment

Best friends: will buy you the test and stand at the door screaming "name it after me! name it after me!"

Friends: will cry if your parents make you move

Best friends: will kidnap you and take you to Mexico so you will never be seperated

Friends: will help you up if you fall down

Best friends: laugh because they are the ones that pushed you

Friends: will say "You deserve better" when you get dumped

Best friends: will call the guy and say "you will die in seven days"

Friends: Fade

Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail:

1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Yes, because they were probably the scary part

If you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

Or you could try three lefts

Whoever said nothings's impossible, they never tried slamming a revealing door!

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese, there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother Colin. or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. but I think it's Colin.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back!

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

I wouldn't want to be the person who did that.

if quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'

ummm...

whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

I have absolutely no idea

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Extremely good point!

if a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?

Yes

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

No

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Yes...

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

What is the full affect?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Maybe?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

Now people start asking the important questions

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Whoever said this makes perfect sense

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Because the thing is that it will kill you, you dingbats that ever thought about eating it

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

What you talking about i hate them all

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Hmmm... don't confuse me

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

Good point...

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Yes...

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

OK why couldn't i have known this when i was in D.C. talking to the congressman?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

err... i can't answer this

Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?

uhh...

Can mute people burp?

yes it just has no sound

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

I have the answer you get about 3 peices of popcorn and ALOT of butter

YAY!

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

i like eating with them

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

umm... i dont know

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

YES!!

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

good point

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

probably

Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?

i don't know

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Finally

Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?

It does?!?!

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

you use cream?!?!

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?

Unfortunaty you do

Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

i dont know honestly

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

cause it's funny to see peoples reactions

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why is a square meal served on round plates?

Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

see what they mean and grant the wish

Why are Pringles curved?

cause... i dont know

What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

in case they break

Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in any thing else?

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wright's did make an airplane

I like pigs, dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, pigs treat us as equals

3 FUN THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL

1. Every time the speaker comes on scream at the top of your lungs "their back."

2. Bring a scooter and zoom around. Ask someone at a store where you can park your scooter.

3. Go to a store and grab 20 of the same shirts. when the cashier tells you the price scream holy cow and tell him to put them all back.

4. Buy a smoothie and tell a random person to hold it and walk away. See how long it takes before they throw it away.

5. After they do walk up and scream in their faces "wheres my smoothie!?"

6. Stand inside a store and when someone walks through tell them your our 4th customer today heres your prize hand them the nearest clothes.

7. Walk up to a random person and say "I havent seen you in forever" then give them a hug.

8. When they say they don't know you tell them you were best friends in the 1st grade

9. Repeat said process when the security guard comes

10. Switch all the size tage and hangers around.

11.Ask a random person in the food court if you can have a french fri.

12. run up the down escalator

13. put all the shoes in different boxes so they are mismatched

Funny Quotes/sayings

Im not judging him I'm just saying that he's stupid

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

"Bart, with 10,000, we'd be millionaires!"- Homer Simpson

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

"If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used it enough."

"People are like slinkies they don't do much but they're fun to push down the stairs."

"People think it must be fun to be a smart person, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world"

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Smile. It confuses people.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop ?

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

95 percent of American teen girls would rush in a mob to every sperm bank if Robert Pattinson announced that he had donated sperm. Copy this to your profile if you would be part of the 5 percent holding a gun, watching the mob rush by, and picking off the weaklings...

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!
FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,ノ

Yaaaay kitty!- ill call him...Shiro!!

This is Kitty. I got him from someone else. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination.

SUPPORT THE KITTY!

Copy & paste this in your profile. If you LOVE kitties like I do!

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star had the same tune. (don't worry i was just as shocked as you are!)

If you hate girly-girls, or people who think that they are everything, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to steal other people's cool and funny phrases, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to constantly update your Fanfiction profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you favorite other stories/authors on here, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have way too much stuff on your Fanfiction profile, but don't want to take anything out since you can't decide or don't know what to take out, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't stop thinking of things to add to your profile, but really want to stop, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate when you're about sneeze, and then you don't, and people look at you funny, copy ad paste this on your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you randomly start singing when people say certain words, copy this into your profile.

If you see no point in making the bed because you are just going to unmake it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done something stupid just for the heck of it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile.

I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world. If this sentence describes you, copy and paste on your profile.

If you think the rabbit from the Trix commercial should go to the store and by his own box, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've gotten completly zoned out of a conversation that you don't even remember what you were talking about copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile! ...

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

95 percent of teens would have a breakdown if miley cyrus was standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5 percent yelling "Jump Bitch!"

For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE!

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.

If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.

When all else fails, read the directions.

Welcome to Hell...Here's your accordion.

He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.

Never hit a guy with glasses. Always use your fists.

The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.

Happiness can't buy money.

True friends always stab you in the front.

I'll have to think twice about it before I give it a second thought.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

The meek shall inherit the Earth after we're done with it.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids and a mortgage.

Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.

Conscience: What hurts when everything else feels so good.

Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

You're schizophrenic? Gee, that makes four of us.

Why is the word 'Abbreviation' so long?

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

Skydiving - Good to the last drop.

If a tree fell on the florist, would he make any sound?

A penny saved is a congressional oversight.

Error. Keyboard not found. Press any key to continue...

Floggings will continue until morale improves.

All's well that ends.

It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Dyslexics of the world untie!

A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.

Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defense.

Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might want to offend you later.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh,he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions

If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever laughed at something that wasn't even funny copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you are bored copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think child abuse is horrible copy and paste this in your profile.

If murders make you sick copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are an absolute anime freak then copy and paste this onto your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you are against animal testing, then shout it loud, dammit!

I want Child Abuse to stop and if you do too, copy and paste this into your profile...

If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile!

If you hate school, but don't want to miss a day of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if your trying to be an Author.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent that would be laughing their butts off.

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! and eating popcorn with fireworks ready :)

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile.

If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile

many girls pretend they're something they're not just to fit in, if you're not one of those girls copy and past this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you think it's weird and sad that many girls get up ridiculously early to do their hair and make-up and pick out the perfect outfit EVERY DAY and yet somehow have no time to eat breakfast, copy this into your profile. (how the hell can they do that?! I would never be able to.)

If you ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a fanfiction account, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

PREP

- You own a cell phone.
You own something from Abercrombie.
You own something from Pac sun.
- You own something from Hollister.
- You own something from American eagle.
You love/like going to the mall.
- You own an iPod/MP3 player.
You love Starbucks.
- you have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale.
You have more than one house.

Total: 5

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favorite colors.
- You have thought about death.
- You wear chains.
- You like heavy metal.
- You’ve shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick.
- Your hair was/is dark.
- You dislike preps.
- you’re an Atheist/Satanist/agnostic.

Total: 7

PUNK

You can skateboard
- You’ve worn plaid.
- You like Converse.
You hate MTV.
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (streaks count)
- You dislike pink.
- You dislike preps.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

Total: 4

GEEK

- You love the computer.
- You like Harry Potter.
- You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
You get straight A's.
- You love/like reading.
You were/are in band
You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.
You always do your homework.
- You never miss school unless you're sick.

Total: 5

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Super bowl.
- You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
- You collect your jerseys.
You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
Your garage consists of sports equipment.
- You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
- You have a specific number. (11)

Total: 4

HARDCORE//SCENE

- You like loud music.
- You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
You never walk anywhere.
- You wear slip-on shoes.
You wear/wore Vans.
- You like the band Panic! At the Disco.
- You wear band t-shirts.
People have called you a freak and meant it.
You love to "hardcore" dance.
- Hair has been died more than 1 color

Total: 6

1. Write the name of someone of the opposite sex

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played Solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or Facebook

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did!!

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds arse that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!!

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
"'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You love to shop
- You wear eyeliner
- Sometimes you go to your mom for advice
You consider cheerleading a sport
You hate wearing the color black
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
- You like wearing jewelry
You cried watching The Notebook
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
Shopping is one of your hobbies
You don't like the movie Star Wars
You are/were in gymnastics
It takes you around one hour to shower
- You smile a lot more than you should
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes
You care about what you look like
- You like wearing dresses when you can
You like high heel shoes
You used to play with dolls as a kid
You like putting makeup on others
You like being the star of almost everything
- You wear body spray/perfume
Pink is one of your favorite colors

Total = 6

OUR BOY SIDE:

- You love hoodies
- You love jeans
- Dogs are better than cats
- Its hilarious when people get hurt.
- You've played with/against boys on a team
Sometimes shopping is torture (When you have to carry a lot of bags or when your tired and dragged from shop to shop)
Sad movies suck
- You own an XBOX
You played with Hot Wheels as a little kid.
At some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter.
- You own/owned a DS, PS2, or Sega (all of the above)
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
Sometimes you watch sports on TV
- Gory movies are cool
- You go to your dad for advice
You own like a trillion baseball hats
You used to/do collect football collector cards
- Baggy sweatpants are cool to wear
- Its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
- Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
- You love to go crazy and not care what other people think
- Sports are fun
- Sometimes you talk with food in your mouth
Sometimes you sleep at night with your socks on
-You have fished at least once

Total = 15 (Heh, I'm a tomboy :P)

A girl & guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, It's not. Please? It's too scary.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug (she gave him a hug)
Guy: Can you take off my helmet; put it on yourself, it's bugging me.
In the news paper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were on it, only one survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the brakes were broken, and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he made her give him a big hug and tell him she loved him one last time. Then, he had her put his helmet on knowing he would die.

(If this touched you, please copy and paste onto your page.)

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school

He told his friends that it was cool

And when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack

Mummy I was a good girl

I did what I was told

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye

I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another

And all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much

And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now

And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest

Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class

And never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this

Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try

I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest

But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest

Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would

I wanted to go to college

I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with daddy

On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married

I wanted to have a kid

I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live

But mummy I must go now

The time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris

I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date

I love you mummy I always have

I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would

Pass this around

I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground

If you pass this on

Maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart

For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart