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Funny labels printed on products

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Really? What a shame-that's when I was planning to do my hair..)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but that's just a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(just a little too late...)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(are you sure about this one?)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what exactly)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(It is at this point you should be wondering why on earth you are flying with these people)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a Korean kitchen knife--"Warning: keep out of children"
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)