My Fave Quotes.

"Guys think yes means know and 'get lost' means 'take me i'm yours' "

"I will one day succeed at slamming a revolving door"

"I did not slap you!... i merely high-fived your faced"

"Everyone has an angel and devil on their shoulders. I listen to the devil more though. He has cookies"

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

If the word 'No' was removed from the English language, Ian Paisley would be speechless

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.

If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were eleven put this in your profile.

98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person (or not) copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, .a.broken.heart.within. The Most OOC Writer Around, Mask of Mirage, EcoliandDahChihuahua, Black Rose Dye, Geradsredskittle666, AbbyLover, NCISabbs.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have the worst handwriting in your class, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever started humming a song you don't know, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Orlando Bloom told them it was uncool to breathe, copy this into your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing you butt off.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have never will and proud of it copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy this into your profile. (please define "died")

If your profile is long copy this into it to make it even longer.

If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you have been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

"I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?"

"Just because I have a short attention span doesn't - look !SHINY!"

Copy and paste this in your profile if you have anxiously awaited your letter from Hogwarts when you were eleven, only to have your hopes dashed.

If you believe Narnia is real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think Prince Caspian is one of the sexiest fantasy characters ever created, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think Tony and Ziva from the show NCIS are just totally made for each other, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the people at FOX are retarded for even thinking about canceling the show Firefly, and that they should all be devoured by a bunch of Reavers, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you listen to music in the bathroom, sing along in the shower, use your toothbrush as a microphone, and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever given off the allusion of being drunk when you weren't, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room for no reason, put this in your profile.

Put this on your profile, if you ever pushed the door that said pull.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have run into a window that you thought was an open door copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

-If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

-If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

-If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

-If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle

-98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. (XD)

-If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

-98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

-I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

-If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

-If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

-If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

-The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

-If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

-Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

-If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile..

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals but don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you look around and ask: "Where?", when someone says 'Edward', copy and paste this into your profile.

If you throw a fit when someone says the Twilight characters aren't real, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever spent numerous hours looking for stuff that remind you of any of the Cullens/Swans, copy and and paste this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you plan to name your kids Alice, Jasper, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, or Emmett copy and paste this into your profile.

If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Isabella, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile!

If you have AACIBD put this in your profile! (Addicted to All the Cullen's Including Bella Disorder!)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, vampirechick123, Topaz Eyes Sing My Lullaby, Vampires-Rock4eva, Sparkles_In_Bamboo27, future-shiny-volvo-owner,jaz-lil-bai, NCISabbs

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the rain, copy and past this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you are insane and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil. Copy and paste this in your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are mad that they have not discovered Tattoine, Naboo, Coroscant, and Kashykk, and all the other star systems out there, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think air is a solid because you continously trip over it, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you think brunette moments can be worse then blond. Copy and paste this on your profile.

If you know someone, or several people, who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

Some people are like slinkies, good for nothing, but they make you smile when you push them down a flight or stairs.

I did not hit you, I just high-fived your face.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train.

If you absolutely hate Darth Vader but love Anakin Skywaler, copy and paste this into your profile

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile

If you ever had family members worry about your mental state and sometimes call you crazy, copy this to your profile. (seriously, i was pacing. whats wrong with that?)

If you admit to adding some that you made up to this list, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spoken in a foreign accent without intending to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bare bating, dolphin hunting chimp slavery etc.) then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile.

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you believe in magic, copy this into your profile.

If you've been accused of being boy-obsessed and were shocked (no matter how true it may be), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile.

If you have a really great friend you've met over the internet and think that the paranoid people who say you shouldn't talk to people over the internet should go shove their megaphones somewhere unpleasant, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think villains rock and are da bomb, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are a fangirl of any villain, copy and paste this into your profile! Yay, Joker!

If you think the best line in Epiphany has gotta be, "WE ALL DESERVE TO DIE!", copy this into your profile.

If you have ever bawled over your favourite character dying in a movie, video game, or book, copy and paste this into your profile! Nooooo! Sirius! I shall always remember you!

If you are completely and without a doubt random, copy and paste this to your profile. I like ice cream. And coconuts too!

If you have ever smacked yourself, copy and paste this to your profile, and add your name to the list. LORD commodore Norry (Give me a break! My hand freakin' slipped!), Mrs.DeppQueenObsessorGoddess (Too many times to count..it's a CURSE, I tell you!),XxSupernatural.lovexX (Do you think I'll loose brain cells?), Tiger-Cub684

If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gone so insane that your friends were scared of you the next day, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall, door, table, chair, or other large solid object even when it was in plain sight, copy and paste this in your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

I don't care what you say! I AM A PIRATE AND THAT'S THAT! (Copy and paste this in your profile if you are a Pirate!)

If, following the results of the 2008 Oscars, you feel like shooting Daniel Day-Lewis in the head, or at least kicking him where it hurts, for beating Johnny Depp to Best Actor, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile. (-shifty eyes- What’s that Bella Swan? You want to go sky diving? here, let me help you…)

If you have ever tried to hi-five somebody and it has taken over 10 tries to actually slap their hand copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tried to hi-five somebody and end up hitting them in the head, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that one day you will marry Johnny Depp but you know your not because it's like IMPOSSIBLE copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy this into your profile

If you did not know that a dentist invented the electric chair and are now freaked out, copy and paste this on your profile.

CHEESE! If you are random and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped someone, copy this into your profile.

If you have slapped someone upside the head, copy this into your profile.

If you believe that chocolate and female mix perfectly, then copy this into your profile.

If you believe that it is law that EVERY movie Johnny Depp is in, he is just FABOULOUS, copy this unto your profile.

If you have ever suppressed the urge to shout, "Anarchy! Revolution, justice screaming for solution..." at political debates, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are against real fur on clothing then put this on your profile.

If people get annoyed at you for being so happy all the time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (but not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you get super happy for getting even one review, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think people who get straight A’s in senior year (yr 12) are complete freaks of nature, copy and paste this into your profile

If only getting a C feels like failure to you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you believe that people can love animals and stand up for their rights without being vegetarian, copy and paste this into your profile

If you can’t find the OFF switch for your brain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love anime and still watch it even when ignorant people say it’s just a kids cartoon, copy and paste this into your profile. (Full Metal Alchemist Rules!!)

If you’re still kinda unsure about religion/are more comfortable with your own interpretation of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you, without an exception, ALWAYS manage to go over the word limit for a school essay, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you just read every line of that and want those five minutes of your life back, copy and paste this into your profile. :D

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think people complain too much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

BITCHOLOGY:

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart.

It means I live my life MY way.

It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid,

or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am,

and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch , so be it.

I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe ~ I - In ~ T - Total ~ C - Control of ~ H - Herself

OR:

B = Beautiful ~ I = Intelligent ~ T = Talented ~ C = Charming ~ H = Hell of a Woman

OR:

B = Beautiful ~ I = Individual ~ T = That ~ C = Can ~ H = Handle anything

Copy and Paste this into profile if this touches you as it did me...

My name is Sarah, I am but three,

My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy,

Would still want to hug me,

I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up,

All the day long,

When I awake I'm all alone,

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get

just one whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall. I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me, and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I'm starting to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream,

But its now much too late,

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah, and I am but three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

Help stop child abuse! Copy and paste this into your profile. I know it can't help much... but... Child abuse is a horrible thing! Some thing no child, especially all the completely innocent ones who go through it, Every. Single. Day. should have to go through. And all that we can do to help is worth gold. So help, please? Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list- Fuzz12345... katlynn888...TVCrazed...Truly Charmed 1995...jaz-lil-bai...NCISabbs... to HELP STOP THE ABUSE:(

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism (oooooooooh BURN)(Yea, it is!)

A good or best friend!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

Agood friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - Bitch - Run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was fucking awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!" we fucked up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shttttt!!

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

EVER WONDER

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? --

Proof of human stupidity

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' .

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

11.Only in America...Will you go to a restaurant at SeaWorld and ask for band aids and get mayonnaise

Stupid things! In bold are the thing's I've done... haha. Out of 100 I have done/am doing 80. I need to stop being stupid...

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men's dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a 'beware of dog' sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

If you watch several shows that you would suffer through withdrawal or die without, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish Booth and Bones would JUST FREAKING KISS already, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a total clutz copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. (read it ALL the time.)

If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile

If you think Booth and Brennan need to wake up, smell the coffee and make out, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are an expert at doing absolutely nothing for hours on end, paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you don't watch Hollyoaks or Big Brother religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted WAY to many things in to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love the rain, copy and past this onto your profile.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World, GatorPups95, 'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', angel-death-dealer, Tiva4evaxxx, Louise Daniel Csimesser1

THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT THE SEASON FINALES OF BONES(S4) AND/OR SMALLVILLE(S8), COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you read to the bottom of this list, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ways to prove you are obsessed with Bones
Do you have all of the episode names and order memorized?

Can you not help but quote Bones on an hourly basis?

Did you start watching Buffy because David Boreanaz is in it?

Do you feel obligated to introduce everyone you know to the amazingness called Bones?

Do you worship TJ Thyne?

Do you know Zack's middle name is Uriah?

Have you ever considered a career as a forensic anthropologist?

Have you ever wondered how it's possible for Bones to not have an MD?

Do you know exactly what episodes Bones and Booth first hold hands, hug, and kiss?

Do you find Bones to be the only show that you can watch the same episodes over and over and NEVER get bored of them?

When someone says dirt, do you picture Hodgins freaking out?

Have you become a conspiracy theorist since you started watching?

Is it obvious to you that the Jeffersonian is modeled after the Smithsonian?

The fact that you even read this proves you are obsessed with Bones.
Copy it to your profile if any of these apply to you!

Quotes

NCIS

'Is NCIS anything like CSI'...'Only if you;re dyslexic' ~ Tony Dinozzo, NCIS

(Watching Tony and Kate argue) 'Why do I feel like Highschool Principal ~ Gibbs, NCIS

'You who won't share a Krispy Kreme doughnut is going to give up a kidney?' ~ Ziva, NCIS

ABBY: So, I suppose you want me to find out what chastity belt this opens?
GIBBS: Do I look like Dinozzo?
TONY: Not funny, boss. Besides, I could open a chastity belt.
ABBY: Have you ever seen one? Mine's awesome. It's 18th century French.
TONY: You have a chastity belt? GIBBS: So much more information than I need to know about Abby

BONES

"Falangies. Dancing falangies!" - Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan to baby

"The three stooges were actually six men." -Vincent Nigel-Murray

"So, cause of death was the three stooges?" -Cam

"Yeah, I have stuff to do-yeah...with bones..." Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan

You know, you're a smart ass, you know that? -Booth
Objectively I'd say I'm very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass. -Brennan

Reason for wanting a gun? -Booth
To shoot people. -Brennan
Not a good response. -Booth

I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye. -Brennan about poking murderer putting a voodoo spell on her in the eye

I hate England! I'm glad we had a revolution! -Booth, stuck in traffic in England

What? You want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder. -Booth
I don't know what that means. -Brennan

A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery... Booth
Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's... a cemetery. -Brennan

Angela: You have to think before you speak.
Brennan: Why? I can say anything to you without thinking about it first.
Angela: Yeah, men aren't like us, they're much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think we're the needy ones is a testament to our superiority.

Booth: Every man in this country would like to sleep with you.
Brennan: Are you being nice with me or awful to the British men?
Booth: I'm just saying, Wexler isn't special. You are.

Brennan-You don't dance?~

Zack-I'm told I look like a marrionette in a windstorm.~

Booth (smacks computer screen)-Come on!. Egg heads! Work it!

Brennan: You said, we tell the truth. We do not flinch. You flinched, Michael.

Caroline: My official department recommendation is the following - we win the case, he gets his job back. We lose, Booth shoots him.

"If she shoots some one else I sure as hell hope its you" FBI guy to Booth on Bones.

Bennet Gibson: What most people do in this situation is, they sweat it.

Brennan: Guatemala. Genocide. How are you scary after that?

Hodgins: When you write, you get this stunned look on your face like you stuck a fork in a toaster.

Dr. Sweets: Mocking will not change my position. I have been mocked many, many times before. (pause) That came out wrong...

Brennan: Elephants are not purple. This is wrong.

Booth: You know, I need subtitles walking in here.

Brennan: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, or was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh, or did he just lick his fingers after surgery?

Booth: I should just become a vegetarian.

Hodgins: Dark sorcerers suck, man!

Brennan: So he imprinted on us...like a baby duck

Brennan: Those people deserved the truth.
Booth: Their daughter was murdered; they deserved the kindness of a lie.

Brennan: So what do you do first? Do you do confront the senator?
Booth: Listen. Bones...
Brennan: Don't call me Bones.

Booth: What can you tell me?
Brennan: Not much. She was a young woman, probably between 18 and 22. Approximately five-foot three, race unknown, delicate features.
Booth: That's all?
Brennan: Tennis player.
Booth: How do you get a pretty tennis player out of that yuck?

Booth: You know, if it weren't for you, those people would have never known what happened to their daughter. It's gotta be worse than the truth.
Brennan: I know exactly how the Ellers felt about Cleo. My parents disappeared when I was 15 and nobody knows what happened to them.
Booth: Being a sniper, I took a lot of lives. What I'd like to do before I'm done is to try and catch at least that many murderers.
Brennan: Please. You don't think there's some kind of cosmic balance sheet... I'd like to help you with that.

Booth: You know, you being a good shot, doing martial arts, it's all your way of dealing. I mean, who knows better than you how fragile life can be.
Brennan: Maybe an Army Ranger sniper who became an FBI homicide investigator.

Booth: You OK?
Brennan: Don't be nice too me after I got you in trouble.
Booth: Your heart was in the right place.
Brennan: No. I'm not a heart person, you're a heart person. I'm a brain person. You vouched for me.
Booth: Forget it.
Brennan: No, I won't.

Booth: Getting information out of alive people is a lot different than getting information out of a pile of bones. You have to offer up something of yourself first.
Brennan: What exactly did you do in the military?
Booth: You see? You see what you did right there Bones? You asked a personal question without offering anything personal in return, and since I'm not a skeleton, you get zilch. Sorry!

Brennan: I find you very condescending.
Booth: Me? I'm condescending? I'm not the one who's gotta mention that she's got a doctorate every five min-
Brennan: I am the one with the doctorate.
Booth: Yeah, well, you know what? I'm the one with the badge and the gun, huh?

Brennan: That's the best you can do?
Booth: What?
Brennan: Getting Homeland Security to snatch me so you can stage a fake rescue.
Booth: At least I picked you up at the airport.

Booth: Temperance, partners share things. Builds trust.
Brennan: Since when are we partners?
Booth: I apologize for the assumption.

Booth: A case this big. The director is going to create a special investigation unit and if I line my ducks up in a row, I can maybe, head it up.
Brennan: I don't know what that means but I think maybe I can be a duck.

Brennan: What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Booth: Ahh, you know, it's like pornography. You'll know when you see it.

Booth: You know you're not the only forensic anthropologist in town.
Brennan: Yes I am. The next nearest is in Montreal. Parlez-vous français?

Booth: He's got no sense of discretion, that kid. Typical squint.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: When cops get stuck we bring in people like you, ya know? Squints, you know, squint at things.
Brennan: Oh you mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills?

Booth: Bones identifies bodies for us.
Brennan: Don't call me Bones and I do more than identify.

Booth: You expect me, a federal agent, to declare war on a United States senator based on your little holographic crystal ball?
Brennan: It's not magic. It's a logical recreation of events based on evidence.

Booth: What are you trying to do?
Brennan: Blackmail you.
Booth: Blackmail a federal agent.
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: I don't like it.
Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Booth: Fine. You're in.

Booth: What's it going to take?
Brennan: Full participation in the case.
Booth: Fine.
Brennan: Not just lab work. Everything.
Booth: What? You want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.

Booth: A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery...
Brennan: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's a cemetery.

Booth: I told them to tell the press that it was an undercover operation.
Brennan: But it would be a Rosegarden Ceremony. That's an honor, right? I thought you FBI guys liked your medals.
Booth: No pleasure in taking someone's life. Nothing to celebrate.
Brennan: You saved so many people Booth. Don't forget that.
Booth: Wanna get another drink?
Brennan: Shouldn't you be getting home? Tessa will be worried about you.
Booth: Yeah. I guess I should... Thanks for your help, Bones.
Brennan: Sure.

Brennan: If you see him, will you shoot?
Booth: Well, he might not have the bomb.
Brennan: You don't believe that.
Booth: I'm not taking out a target Bones, unless I'm sure.
Brennan: Is that how you make it easier? Calling him a target?
Booth: You know, you really picked an odd time to have that conversation.

Brennan: This is my lab, I'm a scientist, a doctor.
Booth: So I've heard.
Brennan: Would you be able to do your job when someone's looking over your shoulder all the time?
Booth: You do, OK? I developed a tolerance.

Booth: Ah, come on Bones. Just work with me here, alright? It’s what we in the law enforcement call positing a scenario. And don’t use the word eschew.
Brennan: What if you and Tessa were going to break up and you didn’t want to?
Booth: Which I don't.
Brennan: Well, I’m positing a scenario. Tessa wants to break up and you don’t want to, so she poisons you.
Booth: No, no, no.
Brennan: And then just to make sure she blows you up with a bomb.
Booth: Why would Tessa do that?
Brennan: Exactly. Thank you.
Booth: See, cause Tessa and I, that’s a bad example.
Brennan: Well you’re a couple in love, right?
Booth: Why do you keep bringing up Tessa? I mean why? What’s the big deal? Is it so odd for you that I have someone in my life?
Brennan: We were talking about couples. It’s a natural segue way.
Booth: Alright, you know, you have to quit using the words segue way and eschew, alright? They sound French.
Brennan: Keep changing the subject. I get it. You’re sensitive about you and Tessa.
Booth: Why aren’t we talking about you and your boyfriend?
Brennan: I don’t have a boyfriend.
Booth: You just said that as though it’s a good thing and you know what? That’s a very, very sad comment on your personal life.
Brennan: Look, you’re angry again.

Booth: You know that thing where you ask for the strength to change the things that you can and the wisdom to know the difference?
Brennan: Not really.
Booth: Well, it's a good thing.
Brennan: Who do you ask?
Booth: For what?
Brennan: For the strength and the wisdom.
Booth: God.
Brennan: And it works?
Booth: Can we talk about something else?
Brennan: Sure. Tessa?
Booth: Tessa!? No. Why do you want to talk about Tessa?
Brennan: Why? Why? Why not? I'm sorry, we won't talk about Tessa.
Booth: I prefer if we would just stay on point and talk about things that you like to talk about, like dead people. Dead bodies?
Brennan: Sure, sure. You’ve killed a lot of people, right? When you were a sniper?
Booth: Maybe we shouldn’t talk at all.
Brennan: Right, cause you’re angry.
Booth: I'm not angry. Not.
Brennan: ... We’ll find out who killed him, Booth. We’ve got Hamid’s body. You can always count on the dead.

Booth: OK, what is so funny?
Brennan: I just never figured you being in a relationship.
Booth: Why? Do you think something's wrong with me?
Brennan: Not wrong. You just have alpha male attributes usually associated with a solitary existence.
Booth: What me? You're solitary.
Brennan: No no, I'm private, it's different and we weren't talking about me.
Booth: I was.
Brennan: I wasn't. Look, I'm happy for you. Relationships have anthropological meaning. No society can survive if sexual bonds aren't forged between -
Booth: What the hell are you talking about?

Booth: The vehicle is registered to a Hamid Masruk, head of the American-Arab Friendship League.
Brennan: If you know who it is then why do you need me?

Booth: We're dealing with someone here who devalues an entire culture; terrorizing people by using God to justify mass murder.
Brennan: You're making it personal. That doesn't help.
Booth: It is personal, Bones. All of us die a little bit on one like this.

Brennan: Ambassador Olivos, you told me that all a mother wants is to know that she’s raised her child well. That your biggest regret is that you will never know if Nestor would have grown up to be a good man, but he was a good man. He died because he was trying to do the right thing.
Booth: Very impressive Temperance. You got that one right.

Booth: Thank you.
Brennan: For what?
Booth: For going with my instincts in there.
Brennan: I did not back up your instincts. I bought time to find the facts I need to tell me what happened to Nester Olivos. What’s with you and the private school?
Booth: I thought we understood each other.
Brennan: Oh, that's bad, understanding each other?
Booth: I don’t like people who think they’re better than other people.
Brennan: Some people are better than other people.
Booth: You know, what you said right there, that is so Un-American. All men are created equal, either you believe that or you don’t.
Brennan: Some people are smarter than others, there’s no use being offended by the fact... What are we going to tell Nester’s parents?
Booth: We tell them that their son was found dead. We’re looking into it. Sorry for your loss. And we are.
Brennan: What?
Booth: Sorry for their loss. It’s sad. Try to remember that.
Brennan: Uh, I’m not a sociopath.
Booth: You’re bad with people, okay. No use being offended by the fact.

Booth: We’ve got a dead body in a prep school out in the sticks.
Brennan: Good morning to you, too.

Brennan: First, you tell me I'm too task oriented. Then, when I say good morning you say that I should concentrate on the job.
Booth: Okay look, we've got about a forty-five minute drive. What do you say we pass it in quiet meditation?!

Brennan: You are the least objective person I have ever met.
Booth: Thank you!
Brennan: It's not a compliment.
Booth: Oh, come on Bones, you know something's wrong here, right? The school, the tapes, now Sheriff Roach.
Brennan: All this mess you're uncovering, it smells, yes, but it doesn't add up to murder, not logically.
Booth: Maybe if you look for more than the facts you'd be able to see the big picture-
Brennan: Maybe if you opened your mind we could find out the actual truth.

Booth: What do you mean, it was not a suicide? °alarm° What the hell is that?
Brennan: We can't have just anyone step into the forensics area and contaminate all the 'boring details.'
Booth: The 'boring details' was my signal for you to stop talking, okay? I want my own card.
Brennan: Well, I want my own gun.
Booth: Last time you had a gun you shot someone.

Brennan: You were right about the school, serving pudding.
Booth: Stirring the pudding...

Brennan: I've been thinking about your whole 'something stinks' attitude.
Booth: Oh yeah?
Brennan: I think you have a subconscious knack for reading body language. Stress in the voice, other subtle yet discernible indicators. It's not mysterious, but it is impressive and in the future... I will try to accord it an appropriate degree of objective worth.
Booth: Thank you Temperance, I appreciate that. So, uh, what part of 'this is mine' did you not understand? Have to say it in Latin?
Brennan: Absit invidia.
Booth: Nice.

Brennan: I am going to need an evidence bag.
Booth: Heads up!
°crack°
Brennan: I am going to need a bigger bag.

Brennan: You know, I'm gonna come back up here this winter. Charlie says the skiing is great.
Booth: Oh, it's Charlie.
Brennan: Yeah, the overnight guy.
Booth: Yeah, I know who he is.
Brennan: I bet he's a great skier. His hips and thighs are perfectly developed for strength and maneuverability.
Booth: °pushes plate with steak away from him° Okay, I'm done.
Brennan: What? No good?
Booth: Puh.
Brennan: Want some cornflakes? Want some?

Booth: I thought you might need a break.
Brennan: What happened to your shirt?
Booth: Well, we're in a bar. It's a look.
Brennan: Everybody's pumping me.
Booth: Sorry?
Brennan: For information on the case.
Booth: Bones, they're only pretending to be interested in the case.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: They're hitting on you.
Brennan: Are you sure?
Booth: Yes, I'm sure. You're the hottest thing this town has seen in a long time.

Booth: I tell you what. You can take me out to dinner, hm? Put me on your tab.
Brennan: It doesn't seem ethical.
Booth: You still want that gun now, don't you?
Brennan: We'll start with breakfast.

Brennan: What took you to Guateamala? Ecotourism?
Booth: I went down to shoot somebody through the heart from 1500 feet.

Booth: You know, it's beautiful here. It's feels good to be out of the city.
Brennan: Yeah, where murderers feed their victims to bears.

Brennan: I've never been offered human flesh before.
Booth: Wait a minute. If you had?
Brennan: It's an interesting question. I'd have to measure my own social inclination against scientific inquiry.
Booth: Okay, that's sick.

Booth: You're a smart-ass, you know that?
Brennan: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart; although, it has nothing to do with my ass.

Brennan: What if I have to shoot? What part of his body should I hit?
Booth: The part that isn’t me.

Booth: You look nice. Better than nice you look uh, very...
Brennan: Thanks.
Booth: Bones, how did you know I was going to keep your promise?
Brennan: What promise?
Booth: To get Sean and David back with Margaret Sanders.
Brennan: Maybe I was lying to catch the bad guy. I learned that trick from you. The end justifies the means.
Booth: Hmm.
Brennan: Booth! I knew you'd back me up... I knew you wouldn´t make me a liar.
Booth: How did you know?
Brennan: Because you want to go to Heaven.
Booth: But you don't believe in Heaven.
Brennan: But you do.

Booth: Bones, I thought you'd like to know. Sean and David are in emergency care. Pulled some strings, to make sure they get to stay together.
Brennan: That's good, thanks.
Booth: The best I could do.
Brennan: Yeah, I understand.
Booth: You know, you say you understand, but you don't! Not really. I mean, if you don't like the rule, you ignore it, right? I can't have that. And if you want to do this -
Brennan: Do what?
Booth: Work on cases, with me, outside the lab. If you wanna do that, I need to know that you will respect the law.
Brennan: Tell you what, if I can't respect the law I can at least respect you.
Booth: Oh, ahm, huh, yeah, that'll work.

Booth: I’m sorry.
Brennan: For what?
Booth: You have personal experience in the system.
Brennan:I was a foster child until my grandfather got me out.
Booth: Yeah, when you said, um, they take you away from your brother, I kind of had the feeling you weren’t talking about David Cook.
Brennan: Booth, I’ll tell you all about it one day but tonight, I have to get dressed for a party.

Booth: You gotta be kidding me.
Brennan: What? My publishers gave it to me.
Booth: Gave it to you?
Brennan: Book sales are pretty good. It's supposed to be a nice car.
Booth: Gave it to you?
Brennan: Yeah.
Booth: Well, why'd you park it crooked?
Brennan: The guy told me to always park it like that.
Booth: He's wrong. Makes you look like an idiot.

Booth: You know, this really isn't gonna be the type of vacation I was hoping for.
Brennan: Oh?
Booth: Tessa's not going. Something came up at work.
Brennan: That's too bad, I'm sorry... Hey, I like going on vacation by myself.
Booth: Really?
Brennan: Sure. Nothing wrong with being alone.
Booth: No, I mean you like to go on vacation?
Brennan: Yeah, I go places all the time.
Booth: You ever just, you know, sit on the beach, pretend there is no such thing as skeletons?
Brennan: Is that in any way fun?
Booth: When was the last time you got away?
Brennan: Got away from what?
Booth: Oh, Bones. You know, 'cause what usually happens to me, I think about not coming back.
Brennan: Seriously?
Booth: Yeah, you know, you go with someone, you joke about not going back to your real life, the two of you laugh. But, when you're alone the world is full of possibilities.
Brennan: ... See you next week.

Brennan: Angela said rap artists sometimes kill each other over the music: Jam Master Jay, Tupac, Biggie.
Booth: Do you even know who you're talking about?
Brennan: Yeah, I've done my Googling.

Booth: Never knew this side of you, Bones.
Brennan: It's DJ Mount.
Booth: And you're hung over. Doesn't this make your head explode?
Brennan: I grabbed a couple hours of sleep on my couch and showered in the lab's decontamination room.
Booth: You really know how to live.

Booth: Oh, God. What are you doing?
Brennan: The Aztecs would filet people and then wear their skin as a body suit.
Booth: I guess you won't be needing mittens for Christmas, eh?

Booth: What happened?
Brennan: ... Well, the Egyptians would give the body a cedar oil enema and then rinse it with wine and cover it with salt, but I don't think that's what happened here.
Booth: Bones, you are totally wasted.
Brennan: Zack, Zack! Zack. Come here, come here. Isn't this a beautiful specimen of mummification?

Booth: Ya know what? I'm gonna spread the pain. That's my new motto.
Brennan: ... Wait. I can help spread the pain. Wait.

Booth: I think I need a vacation. I think you do, too.
Brennan: I'm not the one who's snippy.
Booth: Snippy? What are you, like 70?
Brennan: See what I mean? I think you should find a nice relaxing place to go on that vacation... Somewhere where you can get a massage, maybe do some yoga.
Booth: I don't do yoga. Okay? Push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, that's what I do.
Brennan: Yeah, that's more cardiovascular, yoga deals more with -
Booth: Why exactly are we talking about this?
Brennan: Because you're tense.
Booth: Because we're talking. °radio on°

Booth: You know, I’m sorry for wrecking your weekend for nothing.
Brennan: No, not for nothing.
Booth: Ah, you know what I mean. You know all that running around it didn’t change anything. Epps was guilty. He was always guilty.
Brennan: There was doubt. We had an obligation to respect that doubt. We all share in the death of every human being.
Booth: Very poetic.
Brennan: No, very literal. We all share DNA. °very earnestly° When I look at a bone it’s not some artifact that I can separate from myself. It’s a part of a person who got here the same way I did. It should never be easy to take someone’s life. I don’t care who it is. °Booth stares, then smiles° What? What?
Booth: You know you’ve been practicing your Nobel prize speech just a little too much.

Booth: Name?
Brennan: You know my name.
Booth: Bones, you are making an official request to the FBI to be allowed to carry a concealed weapon. I have to follow protocol.
Brennan: It’s ridiculous.
Booth: Fine. Then we’re done here. Do you want to get some coffee?
Brennan: My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Brennan: To shoot people.
Booth: Not a good response.
Brennan: It’s the truth.
Booth: You know, I’m writing self defense in the performance of my duties pursuing suspected felons as contracted out to the FBI.
Brennan: So I can shoot them.
Booth: °gives her a look° Have you ever been charged with a felony?
Brennan: Charged or convicted?
Booth: Charged.
Brennan: You know I have.
Booth: I have to ask the questions.
Brennan: Bureaucratic nonsense.

Brennan: What would you usually be doing?
Booth: What?
Brennan: If it were a normal weekend.
Booth: You wanna discuss this now?
Brennan: Compared to you with your multiple sex partners.
Booth: You know, that's none of your business, OK? I'm not having sex with Amy and I've never, ever cheated on any woman that I've ever been with. Never!
Brennan: I just asked what you'd normally be doing!

Brennan: This is a personal favor you're asking.
Booth: Not for me, for Amy.
Brennan: Well, your personal favor would be for Amy but mine would be for you, strictly speaking.
Booth: Please do me a favor. °pleading eyes° Please.

Booth: Hey Bones, what're you doing this weekend?
Brennan: I've got plans.
Booth: Come on, I'm serious.
Brennan: Between your girlfriend, the corporate lawyer, and the defense lawyer on the side your weekend must be completely booked. What is your thing with lawyers?

Booth: Name of arresting officer.
Brennan: You. Special Agent Seeley Booth. Do you need me to spell that for you?
Booth: I think I can sound that out.
Brennan: So, when do I get the gun?
°DENIED°
Booth: You can't have a gun.
Brennan: Why not?
Booth: Because you were charged with a felony.
Brennan: Write down that you were wrong to charge me.
Booth: Oh, there is no space for that.

Brennan: I'll ask the others but I won't order them. They might have plans.
Booth: It's Friday night and they're racing beetles.

Brennan: Are you going to arrest me for assault?
Booth: From what I saw, purely self defense.
Brennan: Maybe I shouldn’t carry a gun after all.
Booth: Hell, you can have mine.

Booth: Bones, you don't need a gun. If anyone needs shooting, I'll do it.
Brennan: But what if you're injured or dead and someone still needs shooting? I'm not hoping it will happen. I'm just stating the possibility.
Booth: You know what, Bones? You're a professor, all right? You're not an FBI agent. Use your mutant powers... just talk people to death.

Brennan: Are you going to help... with the digging?
Booth: Well I would but, sst, this is a 1200 suit.

Booth: You have the right to appeal.
Brennan: To whom? Cullen? I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me.
Booth: I'm pretty sure you're right.

Brennan: Can you believe that!? °uncomfortable look° What? You agree with her?
Booth: Uh, not entirely.
Brennan: Not entirely. So that means partly. Well, I was perfectly clear. Didn’t you think I was clear?
Booth: °hesitantly° Sometimes and uhm, sometimes you were… a little hard to follow.
Brennan: What are you talking about? When?
Booth: When you were...talking. °quickly° Listen Bones, I know you care about this case but I think you should let them see that.
Brennan: So, I should perform?
Booth: Just a little bit. Yeah, I mean, did you see how I portrayed myself as a no-nonsense, tough guy cop?
Brennan: You are a no-nonsense, tough guy cop.
Booth: °snaps fingers° Exactly! And I think that it wouldn’t hurt if the jury saw who you really are.
Brennan: Well I don’t know who you think that is Booth because this is who I really am... just this.

Booth: Bones, you OK?
Brennan: Why wouldn't I be?
Booth: 'Cause the nutty professor has graded your paper. What did he give you anyway, huh? I was always happy with a B.
Brennan: I never got a B and I never will. °storms off°
Booth: That's my girl.

Brennan: Seeking sexual gratification through the manipulation of power. Probably the oldest of fetishes, Master-Slave. It's all about dominance.
Booth: This sort of thing only comes up when the bloom goes off the rose, if you know what I mean.
Brennan: I don't know what you mean.
Booth: You know, when the regular stuff, when it gets old you need to spice it up, it's over. If the sex is good you don't need any help.
Brennan: °big smile° That's for sure.
Booth: I'm sorry?
Brennan: I was agreeing.
Booth: Yeah, well, don't, OK? It kinda freaks me out.
Brennan: I was just saying that I myself feel no inclination toward either pain or dominance when it comes to sex.
Booth: Are you sure?
Brennan: Yeah, I'm sure.
Booth: 'Cause you can be very bossy.

Booth: Do you want my coat or something? It's cold up here.
Brennan: °still mad° If I did I'd ask for it.
Booth: Yeah, sorry, and uhm, I'm sorry.
Brennan: You had something to accomplish and you found a logical way of getting what you needed. I probably would have done the same thing. °exchanging smiles°

Booth: OK, call me later?
Brennan: °smiles° I'm not working tonight. I have a dinner... with Michael.
Booth: What? Wow. I just assumed that the two of you would be eating off an autopsy table.
Brennan: Not tonight.
Booth: I was being - tomorrow is fine, call me tomorrow.

Brennan: Why didn't she say anything about you? You can be very irritating sometimes.
Booth: Bones, she's an expert, just like you. She has an obvious personality disorder, but she wants to help.

Brennan: Ivy Gillespie came to the lab after you left, with her granddaughter. °Booth smiles° Don't you wanna know what happened?
Booth: I know what happened. You told her about careful Lionel, you showed her the letters, the tickets, she cried. But, you made her happy.
Brennan: Not to mention I gave her a penny worth over a hundred thousand dollars.
Booth: She won't care about that today. You just gave somebody the best Christmas gift they could ever get. Who's the secret Santa now?
Brennan: Stop!
°Zack's robot doing push-ups on counter°
Booth: Whoa! °both laughing° And that weirdo assistant of yours just made me the coolest dad in the world.

Booth: Listen, I got Goodman for this Secret Santa thing and I don't know what to get him.
Brennan: Anthropologically speaking gifts are a way of asserting dominance in a group. Now, imagine an entire holiday devoted to self-promotion, especially in this materialistic culture. How can you expect me to get behind that? How can you get behind that?
Booth: Wow. That's deep, that's a very deep pile of crap.
Brennan: You came to me with information this morning, a peace offering, but it was to make you feel better, not me. Proves my point.
Booth: You know, Bones, you make it very, very hard for me to be nice to you.

Booth: Bones, it’s after midnight. Hm? Christmas Eve day. Both an Eve and a day it’s a Christmas miracle.
Brennan: Still enjoying your medication I see.

Brennan: You have a son?
Booth: Yeah.
Brennan: You've never mentioned that.
Booth: Well, nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.

Booth: You don't seem too upset about missing Christmas.
Brennan: Indications are that Christ, if he existed, was born in the late spring and the celebration of his birth was shifted to coincide with the pagan rite of the Winter Solstice so that early Christians weren't persecuted.
Booth: Who are you, like the Christmas killer?
Brennan: It's the truth.
Booth: No, it sounds like the truth 'cause it's so rational, right? But, you know, the true truth is you just hate Christmas so you spout out all these facts and you ruin it for everyone else.
Brennan: I ruin the true truth with facts?
Booth: Yeah, and you're ruining it for the squint squad, too, by making them work on a case about a guy who's been sealed up in a fallout shelter for 50 years.

Brennan: How would you like me to spend my Christmas?
Booth: Christmas is the perfect time to re-examine your standing with, you know °pointing upward°
Brennan: A helicopter pilot?
Booth: Oh, right, right. You can't measure the man upstairs in the beaker, so he can't possibly exist.
Brennan: The man upstairs?
Booth: Hmm. You know, you don't know if you're sick, but you're more than willing to take drugs just in case. Seems to me you could give the man upstairs the same benefit of the doubt that you do an invisible fungus.

Booth: Take a look at this.
Brennan: A bunch of red circles?
Booth: Each circle shows where a body part was found.
Brennan: What is this, an airport?
Booth: Los Angeles International. Local pathologist says the remains are in pretty bad shape.
Brennan: So they punt it to the FBI.
Booth: Airports, they fall under federal jurisdiction... excellent use of the word punt.
Brennan: I can't go to Los Angeles, I have an Iron Age warrior to authenticate.
Booth: Iron Age warrior? OK, when was the Iron Age?
Brennan: 1500 years ago.
Booth: Fresh body bits just a little bit more urgent.
Brennan: You do realize that there are a lot more fresh bodies than there are perfect specimens from the Iron Age?
Booth: When you say things like that it’s just to bug me, right?

Brennan: Every culture nurtures ideals of beauty toward which people strive - fine! But in the future, people will look back upon the... surgical alterations of the nose or breasts or buttocks with the same horror that we regard the binding of feet or the use of bronze coils to extend the neck.
Booth: You wanna speak up? 'Cause it's really hard to hear every word in this very, very quiet waiting room.
Brennan: It's barbaric! It's painful! It's wrong! This murder victim may never be identified because some glorified barber with a medical degree had the arrogance to think that he could do better than millennia of evolution.

Brennan: This car doesn't feel very FBI-ey.
Booth: Hey, Bones, this is a 1966 Mustang. It's a classic. What goes better than that with the FBI?
Brennan: Then how come on the rental agreement under model, you made the guy write 'sedan'?

Brennan: These bones you bring me; I give them a face, I say their names out loud, I return them to their loved ones, and you arrest the bad guy. I like that.
Booth: So do I.
Brennan: I feel like we should be arresting these "doctors" because whether they killed her or not, they still erased her.
Booth: Well, maybe I can hold Cullen off for a day.
Brennan: That's not good enough.
Booth: You're welcome.

Brennan: We are born unique. Our experiences mold and change us. We become someone, all of us, and to have that taken away by murder to be erased from existence against our will, it's just...
Booth: Evil?
Brennan: Unacceptable.

Brennan: We know we're looking for someone who grew up in New England, moved here about eight years ago, her leg was crushed in a car accident when she was thirteen, she was on a boat shortly before she was murdered. We know some of her names and some of her faces.
Booth: That's all your stuff. Usually by now we know more about my stuff.
Brennan: We have separate stuff?
Booth: Yeah, by now I usually have a feel for the person, what they wanted, how they felt, what was going on in their lives. With this girl, nothing.
Brennan: She thought she was ugly. She did everything she could to make herself beautiful. And all she did was make herself more invisible.
Booth: Everybody in this city thinks they're ugly, and nobody is. I'm starting to get why you hate anonymous death so much.

Brennan: You know, I'd like to drive sometime.
Booth: °changing subject° Look, our contact out here is Special Agent Tricia Finn.
Brennan: I'm an excellent driver.
Booth: OK, Rainman.
Brennan: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: I’m always gonna drive, you know that, right? Me behind the wheel and you over there on the grandma side.
Brennan: I’m not above telling Deputy Director Cullen what kind of car you rented.
°Brennan with a big smile behind wheel in next shot; Booth less than happy in passenger seat°

Brennan: It’s not often I get to help save someone before they die.
Booth: Oh hell, Bones, every time you catch a murderer you save his next victim.
Brennan: No, this is different.
Booth: Yeah. Still glad you don’t have any kids?
Brennan: Yeah. Why?
Booth: You looking at that boy and his dad, I just thought you changed your mind.
Brennan: No. Still glad that you have a kid?
Booth: Gladder today than yesterday.
Brennan: That doesn’t make any sense.
Booth: Yeah, it’s complicated.

Brennan: Who does this? Cuts the finger of an eight-year-old boy?
Booth: Mercenaries, professionals. They don't feel a thing.
Brennan: I feel things, Booth.
Booth: I never said you didn't, Bones.
Brennan: I'm a professional, too. I do better work if I only see the finger, not the child. That doesn't mean I'm like them.
Booth: I know that, Bones.

Booth: Usually I enjoy your company, Bones, but, you know, it's at times like this that you give me just a little something extra to worry about.
Brennan: You enjoy my company?

Booth: Bones, we don't know who hired these guys, KBC, military, disgruntled shareholders or it could be someone we haven't even thought of yet. °big smile of Brennan° What?
Brennan: You just told me not to jump to a conclusion.
Booth: No offense intended.
Brennan: No, you're right. It's just I usually get to tell you.
Booth: Well, our relationship has taken a whole new turn.

Brennan: You believe the boy is already dead?
Booth: I have to assume that he isn't.
Brennan: Why make that assumption?
Booth: Because it gives me something to look forward to instead of dread. Given the choice I avoid dread.
Brennan: OK, that's logical.
Booth: Is it?
Brennan: Why dread something that hasn't happened yet?
Booth: Yeah.

Brennan: That's tidy, Spartan even. Is that odd for a recently separated man?
Booth: The guy is supposed to be some super-rational tight-ass geek. No offense.

Brennan: Arrest someone really small lately? Car seat in the back.
Booth: Oh, I had Parker for the weekend.
Brennan: I don't know how you do that.
Booth: Install a car seat in an FBI vehicle?
Brennan: Bring a kid into this world knowing what you know. Oh, but Parker was an accident, right? Because his mother wouldn't marry you?
Booth: It never occurred to you that that might be a sensitive topic?
Brennan: Well, you could have gone with the very small felon story.
Booth: I'm better for Parker being in the world. Someday you will see that.
Brennan: No, I won't.
Booth: You'll change your mind.
Brennan: I don't do that.
Booth: You will.

Booth: You know, if this works, I'll buy you a puppy.
Brennan: That would be inadvisable. You never told me how I was this morning. I asked you, how did I do, and you said we'll talk about it in the car but we didn't.
Booth: °slightly hesitant° Was it your first TV interview?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: It was fine, you know, for your first interview.
Brennan: That was a qualified response.
Booth: What? No, it was lively. °tries to leave°
Brennan: Lively? What kind of word is that?
Booth: °evasively° It's an adjective, though ironically most words that end in "-ly" are adverbs, like "ironically".
Brennan: Ok, what did I do wrong?
Booth: Maybe next time, tell a funny story. Oh, and never say you don't like children.
Brennan: I didn't say I don't like children, I just said I didn't want any.
Booth: On TV, it's the same thing.

Booth: °to FBI officer° I go in first, straight for the kid. You guys do what you do.
°FBI officer walks away as Bones runs up°
Brennan: What about me?
Booth: You wait outside.
Brennan: I don't want to miss anything!
Booth: Bones, these guys aren't like anyone else you've come up against. Please, just be someone you aren't for the next ten minutes and you hang back. Please. °Brennan nods her acceptance°

Brennan: Why don't we ever take my car?
Booth: Do you have bulletproof vests in your trunk?
Brennan: No.
Booth: That's why.

Brennan: I'll see you in the comic books, buster.
Booth: It's "See you in the funny pages."
Brennan: Ok, I took a liberty!

Brennan: Wait, you said that in books you could find the real world version.
Booth: Yeah, well, I mean, if you know you, it's pretty obvious.
Brennan: Well, give me an example.
Booth: Ok. Well, in your book, your partner is a former Olympic boxer who graduated from Harvard and spoke six different languages. In real life, you've got me.
Brennan: So what you're saying is that reality falls far, far short of fictional.
Booth: Yeah, thanks a lot, Bones.

Brennan: Booth, are you a nerd?
Booth: First of all, you mean geek. And no, I'm not, okay? It's quite normal for an American male to read comic books.
Brennan: I find it hard to believe you have anything in common with Warren Granger.
Booth: Oh, you mean isolated with an inner secret life? No. I'd say you were more like Warren.

Brennan: Has anyone we've seen on this case been favoring her arm?
Booth: Not that I've noticed.
Brennan: That's because you're not an anthropologist... with super powers.

°Booth and Brennan at Capital Bowl°
Booth: Do you smell that?
Bones: Yes, I do.
Booth: You know what that is Bones?
Brennan: Wax, popcorn, feet, deodorant.
Booth: That is America, Bones.
Brennan: °smiles° You keep your bowling ball in the car?
Booth: Oh, you know, I figured we ask a few questions about Warren Granger, maybe bowl a few frames. You know, nothing like a little sport to uh, take the edge off of.
Brennan: This is not a sport.
Booth: How do you figure?
Brennan: There’s no physical benefit, so it’s really like golf. It’s not a sport. It’s an activity.
Booth: You know, could you please Bones, maybe just for once, try not to piss everyone off around you?
Brennan: Yeah, sorry. Are you good at this sport?
Booth: Ah well, my average is over 200, less then two opens per game, one match I had 211 strikes out of 431 shots. Twenty-nine opens, thirty-nine games.
Brennan: What does that mean?
Booth: It means I won some bowling awards.
Brennan: I won the Marshall H. Dixon award for my paper on George John Romanes and physiological selection.
Booth: My God, it’s like we lead parallel lives.

Brennan: You told her that her son didn't tell her about being sick to make her feel better.
Booth: Mmhuh.
Brennan: You don't really believe that.
Booth: Well, people don't actually do that.
Brennan: So, you just told her that to make her feel better?
Booth: Right.
Brennan: So you just did what you said people don't do.

Brennan: You said before that Warren reminded you of me. You think I’m just like him, that he hid from life by immersing himself in a fantasy world where he fought crime, and I do the same thing. Only I don’t have super powers, I have science.
Booth: C’mon Bones, you do fight crime. It’s not a fantasy. As far as any normal person is concerned, you do have super powers.
Brennan: You’re just saying that to me.
Booth: No, I don’t do that.
Brennan: Yes you do. You lied to Warren Granger’s mother to make her feel better. That seems to be your super power.

Brennan: Her husband beats her.
Booth: Bones! Talk about multiple hypotheses.
Brennan: It’s a leap, yes, but it was bound to happen, me spending so much time with you. I mean that as a compliment.

Booth: All this kid wants is to feel like a hero. Suddenly he’s facing the damsel in distress.
Brennan: Lucy McGruder is ten years older.
Booth: No, it’s not the damsel part that matters. It’s the distress that appealed to the kid. You know, I mean look, it wasn’t about the sex or the romance. It never was.
Brennan: He wanted to make a difference in the world before he died. I told you he was more like you then me.

Brennan: I can’t believe that worked.
Booth: Ah, psychology Bones, it's a very powerful force.

Brennan: °worriedly° Are you mad at me?
Booth: No. But you know I could have gotten something back there if you hadn’t gotten all mushy on me.
Brennan: I was uncomfortable with…You always say I’m not a cop. You’re right. Especially in a situation like that.

Brennan: Why did they call in the FBI to Little Salvador?
Booth: Well you know, the car's got Virginia plates, across state line and then there's a suspected gang member and then there's Rico to deal with. Look Bones, do you really want to know?
Brennan: No, I was just using it as an excuse to make conversation and reestablish our connection.
Booth: What?
Brennan: Well I read a book about improving work relationships. It's not fair to expect you to tell me everything.
Booth: I appreciate the effort, Bones.

Brennan: Booth, I don’t think he murdered those people.
Booth: You can tell if he murdered someone by looking at his x-rays?
Brennan: He has the same genetic condition the two victims had, the Sternal Foramen. They’re probably his sister and his father.

Brennan: Why would a gang leader cooperate?
Booth: I'm gonna ask him really, really nicely, Bones.
Brennan: You know that book I'm reading about getting along with your co-workers? It says that sarcasm is never helpful. I can lend it to you if you want.

Booth: I say we go visit Miss Anderson and we’ll know pretty fast if she’s a suspect.
Brennan: How?
Booth: How? Subtle psychological indicators, Bones.
Brennan: I looked those up on the internet, body language, sweat, tonal quality, shifty eyes.
Booth: Hey you know what? I don’t go poking around your bones stuff, okay? Just leave the human stuff to me.

Booth: °about Kane° Wow, pushy.
Brennan: Well, maybe he discovered that being pushy is how you get cops to pay attention.
Booth: What are you hawking at me for?
Brennan: The Chinese, the plane crash, that’s politics. This is murder. Will you help?
Booth: Well, you know, I guess if you’re uh, if you're really asking me, I guess I could uh, you know, fudge it with my boss to make it look like it was attached to the Chinese plane crash thing.
°A tiny smile has crept on Booth's face while talking and Brennan, happy with his answer, smiles at him°

Brennan: You’re back to ignoring Zack?
Booth: Alright look, I know you don’t approve but you know, it works for us. It worked for him so...
Brennan: Yeah, I get it and it’s kind of sweet.
Booth: Hey, you know, your people are my people.
Brennan: What, I have people? °smiles° Hey, I have people.

Brennan: No poking and prodding, do you think Jesse murdered his father?
Booth: You know Bones, all I’m saying is, we get into these things, we look into murders and we can’t let our heart strings get all plucked. Okay? We got to poke at peoples' wounds, we got to make them bleed a little, we got to make them tell us things that they normally wouldn’t want to tell us. Alright? We got to be willing to be hard on them is what I’m trying to say, even when we know that we’re no different than them.
Brennan: You didn’t answer my question.
Booth: Well I have an opinion. You want to know? °she looks at him° If I had to bet, I’d say he didn’t do it.
Brennan: Me, too.
Booth: I’m going off my gut. I mean what…what’s persuading you?
Brennan: The bone fragments at the golf course, they didn’t come from Max Kane.
Booth: That’s great. You knew that when you asked me what I thought. You testing out my instincts, Bones?
Brennan: Poking and prodding. I learned from the best. °She pinches his cheek and Booth laughs°

Booth: Next time, you know, you miss me, pick up the phone, call me. We'll do lunch.
Brennan: I do not miss you.
Booth: Yeah, you miss me. Come on, say it!
Brennan: I do not miss you.

Brennan: Ahh, I feel like kicking him.
Booth: That's normal after a pursuit, but we try not to do that.

Brennan: I want to ask you a favor.
Booth: Geez, another favor.
Brennan: I wonder if you wouldn't mind taking a look at this.
Booth: The file on your parents? Yeah, ok.
Brennan: You want to think about it? It's a pretty big favor.
Booth: You'd do it for me.
Brennan: Yeah, I would.
Booth: I'm proud you asked, Temperance.

Brennan: You ignore Zack and make him think you've got some special bond.
Booth: Yeah, but it works, doesn't it? I'm happy, he's happy.
Brennan: It's not the truth.
Booth: But it works!
Brennan: Zack wants to fit into the real world more than anything. You're not helping.

Booth: You know, you’ve done a couple of cases without me and you miss me.
Brennan: Zack misses you, not me.
Booth: Zack and I don't even talk!
Brennan: He seems to think it's some male bonding ritual.
Booth: Maybe he's right.
Brennan: No it's not.
Booth: Could be.
Brennan: You told him that so you wouldn't have to talk to him.
Booth: Well, it was nicer than shooting him.

Brennan: You know, on your x-rays, there's a history of multiple fractures on your feet consistent with beating. It's a common method of torture in the Middle East, beating the soles of the feet with pipes or hoses.
Booth: Yeah, I know.
Brennan: And there are indications of injuries sustained while you were shielding someone.
Booth: How the hell can you tell something like that?
Brennan: The scarring shows that the rib cage spread in such a way that...
Booth: Yeah, okay. A buddy of mine, he lost his weapon and I uh, I tried. He didn't make it. You know you shouldn't be looking at my x-rays.
Bones: Sorry.

Brennan: Romano didn’t give us anything, so I should probably be back at the lab.
Booth: No your squints can handle it. You haven’t slept in over a day, alright? You need to get some rest. I’ll sleep on the couch.
Brennan: You think you’re staying here with me?
Booth: Yeah. Nice place by the way, Bones.
Brennan: No, I’m locked in here, Booth. I’ll be fine.
Booth: Okay look, I want you to stay away from your windows too, okay? A sniper has a clear shot from any of these surrounding buildings.
Brennan: I could have just stayed at the lab. The security is tight there.
Booth: Then you would have worked. You would have gotten tired and you would have been more vulnerable when you did go out. Trust me this is the best, alright?

Booth: You know, I let you down, Bones. I’m sorry.
Brennan: You saved my life.
Booth: Yeah, but you know, it shouldn’t... it shouldn’t have gone down like that.
°they both smile pensively°
Brennan: What a pair.
°Booth turns to look at her and smiles when Brennan's cell phone rings°
Brennan: °on the phone° Brennan. Um, I’m leaving right now. °hangs up° David. We're finally having our dinner.
Booth: Well, I figured you didn't dress up for me.
Brennan: °smiles and stands up° You sure you don’t want anything?
Booth: Nah, I’ll be fine. I’m just going to, you know, flip around the TV here.
Brennan: °hesitant to leave° Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Booth: Yeah, have a good night.
Brennan: Thanks.
°Brennan leaves and Booth flips through stations to an old movie. It’s a romantic one. He looks down, sad and pensive. When he looks up again he sees Brennan enter his room.°
Brennan: I rescheduled. My...my head still hurts.
Booth: Well, we can watch TV if you like.
Brennan: Sure.

°Booth has just saved Brennan from Kenton. She has her arms around his neck with her wrists still bound and is hugging him very tightly°
Booth: Oh, it’s okay. I’m right here. It’s all over. Okay. Shh. I’m right here, alright. It’s all over. Shh...alright.
°Brennan loosens her grip and sits back to look at him°
Brennan: How did you get out of the hospital?
Booth: Hodgins gave me a ride. Maybe...maybe you could give me a ride back though, huh?
°She smiles, shakes her head yes and hugs him again very, very tightly burying her head in his sweater°

Brennan: Sorry, Booth. It should be me lying in that bed.
Booth: I’m fine. You know, I...I don’t even know if...if I have to stay here, you know?
Brennan: You got blown up.
Booth: I've been worse.
Brennan: You have burns, lacerations, two broken ribs, green stick fracture of the clavicle...
Booth: Okay, I got blown up. °pathetically tries reaching for a pudding in front of him° Can you hand me one of the puddings?

Booth: Did they gather all the evidence from the explosion?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: You sure?
Brennan: Yes. Booth, I was there. They were very thorough, and I was very annoying.

Brennan: Ask him to save the excrements for Hodgins.
Booth: Lucky Hodgins.

Booth: °looking at Brennan° You know, what ever happened to seeing someone across a crowded room, eyes meeting, that old black magic gets you in its spell?
Brennan: There's no such thing as magic.
Booth: Oh, there's magic.

Booth: Bones, how many keys do you need?
Brennan: °showing them° Car, house, lab, morgue... I need a lot of keys.

Booth: Look, Bones, I know it's hard for you to admit that you might be wrong about something, but I really don't care about your feelings right now, I'm more concerned with your life. So, they're bringing your date in for interrogation, grab your coat.
Brennan: I'm working.
Booth: Bones, I'm not letting you out of my sight until I find out who was trying to kill you.

Brennan: My reservation got pushed, so I have a few extra minutes.
Booth: Ah, a few extra minutes, great.
Brennan: What?!
Booth: Nothing.
Brennan: You disapprove.
Booth: I said "great".
Brennan: With attitude!
Booth: Don’t go overboard with psychology. It’s not your thing.
Brennan: Look, I am an adult Booth. I see men, I go out with them, on occasion I sleep with them.
Booth: Hey, you know what? That’s cool but you don’t even know who this guy is that you’re meeting.
Brennan: I have trekked through Tibet avoiding the Chinese army. I think I can handle meeting someone for dinner.
Booth: Fine, you know what? You have fun with Dick431 or whatever his handle is.
Brennan: Yeah I will.
Booth: Good.
Brennan: Thanks.
Booth: Fine.
Brennan: Good.

Booth: Ten-four, Tac Team Three.
Brennan: Okay, I bet tick-tock team is here, two levels above us.
Booth: Don't call them tick-tock team, okay? They're Tac Team. It's short for tactical.

Brennan: Maybe you could try the "Hey, we're brothers in arms" thing on him.
Booth: Ok, that, what you just said right there Bones, that was cynical. It was glib and cynical.
Brennan: °earnestly° Really?
Booth: Yes. Really. I know what that guy has been through.
Brennan: You killed a pregnant woman who was holding a child?
°Booth looks uncomfortable and doesn't answer for a while°
Booth: Look, if you really wanna know what I've done I'll tell you, but you better be ready for the truth. °Brennan looks at him and then looks away without answering° Good choice, Bones.

Booth: You ever see Treasure of the Sierra Madre? It doesn't matter whether the treasure is mythical or not. People will still kill if they think it exists.
Brennan: It did exist.
Booth: What?
Brennan: In the movie it's gold dust. People didn't think it exists so it blew away. But it did exist.
Booth: But no one got it is the point. All of a sudden you know a movie.
Brennan: Everybody knows that movie.

Brennan: Can I just have a gun? At least until the reinforcements get here.
°Booth hands her his ankle gun°
Booth: Here, it's not for shooting rats, it's for shooting psychos with climbing axes.

Brennan: May I borrow your gun?
Booth: Why do you want my gun?
Brennan: I'm not going to shoot anyone, I promise.
Booth: Not a hammer or anything?
Brennan: We've been working together for months Booth, a little trust would be nice.
Booth: °handing his gun to Brennan° Careful.
Brennan: Yeah °Brennan shoots some of the rats° Now they'll eat each other and leave our remains alone.
Booth: °slightly annoyed° You know, you do know I have to file a report with the review board each time I discharge a round from my weapon?!

Brennan: So what do we do? We just wait?
Booth: No we, uh, reconnoiter.

Booth: Bones give me your gun, get the restraints out of my belt and put them on Kyle. °Brennan tosses Booth's ankle gun into his front pocket° That's not cocked is it? Because were that's pointed-
Brennan: You're safe.

Booth: Where's he going?
Brennan: He's looking for his sister.
Booth: Either of you two bring any water?
°Brennan and Angela show Booth their bottles of water°
Brennan: Why? Are you worried?
Booth: Yeah.
Angela: About what?
Brennan: Because we're way past where Jesus lost his sandals.
Booth: And I don't hear the truck anymore.

Booth: I will call the FBI office in Albuquerque and take over the investigation.
Brennan: I wouldn't.
Booth: Why?
Brennan: Desert dwellers are very Insular. Mongolians, Bedouins of the Sahara, the Himba of Kanana. Good hosts, but extremely distrustful of outsiders.
Booth: Bones, this is the United States of America, not outer Mongolia.

Booth: Ok, no offense to Angela but she doesn't really know this guy. She's only with him, what? Only three weeks out of the year?
Brennan: Yeah, no offense to you, but you are a stodgy traditionalist when it comes to relationships, buddy.
Booth: Stodgy? Stodgy.
Brennan: Yeah, stodgy.

Brennan: No cell phone service, no water - how long do you think we'll survive out here, if the Sheriff doesn't come back?
Booth: Three days, max.
Angela: How far are we from the highway?
Booth: Five days, minimum.
Brennan: I don't like that math.

Booth: Ok, who are you, Dr. Phil?
Brennan: Who is Dr. Phil, some kind of expert?
Booth: °laughs° He likes to think so.

Brennan: Wait outside while I get dressed.
Booth: No! Uh uh! Sun's been up for an hour out there - it's already the surface of Mercury! I can stand here, close my eyes, eat my donut - it's the best I can do. °puts one hand over his eyes, starts eating a donut with the other°

Brennan: What if he's escaping out the back door?
Booth: You don't spend a lot of time in trailers, do you?

Brennan: How far are you from Dallas?
Booth: As far as your office is from Dallas.
Brennan: Why are you in my office?
Booth: I need your findings on the Richmond case. Listen, Zack won't tell me where they are unless you give him permission.
Brennan: There's a 9:15 flight to Denver, then there's an 11:35 flight to Santa Fe. You have to run to make the connection.
Booth: Forget it.
Brennan: Booth, please. Angela's boyfriend is missing...maybe dead...it took all of my charm-
Booth: All of your charm? Oh boy-
Brennan: Just to get the sheriff to let me look at the skull. When I asked him to let me send the skull to the Jeffersonian, he told me I am not a cop and I don't have any jurisdiction.
Booth: Which is true, okay look, what do you want me to do?
Brennan: I want you to get federal on his ass.
Booth: °smiling° Oh!

Booth: The guy was a Navy Seal.
Brennan: So? You were a Guide.
Booth: Ranger, I was Ranger Bones, okay? I was not a guide, guides they show you waterfalls, they sell you cookies, I was a Ranger.
°Brennan wants to rush in on the suspect, Booth holds her back°
Brennan: Are Rangers afraid of Seals?
Booth: What? No, come on Bones, Rangers aren't afraid of anybody, okay?... Though Seals are pretty good though.

Brennan: Who's Branson Rose?
Booth: You know, the billionaire adventurer, he made his fortune making aircraft for the military, owns like half the world, it was the guy on that reality show were he goes all over the world... °Brennan gives Booth a puzzled look° Still no TV? Why do I even bother?

Booth: Welcome to the dungeon.
Brennan: Why do the FBI always stick their morgues in the most depressing basement they can find?
Booth: Don't be such a snob, Bones. Okay, not everyone gets to play in a multi-million dollar lab, you know, with skylights…
Brennan: It's because as a society, we feel the need to hide death away. The people who deal with the dead are viewed as freaks.
Booth: I don't know if it’s the basement thing, but this guy you're going to meet, Harry, he's a bit twisted.
Brennan: You probably think I get some kind of rush when I work, that I'm somehow titillated.
Booth: Uh, choice of words, Bones, choice of words.

Brennan: °trying to get people's attention° FBI! You're all under arrest!
Booth: C'mon, Bones, you don't get to say that. I'm the one with the badge.

Brennan: The music. Shh. He's down there.
Booth: That's not music, it's bagpipes.

Brennan: °talking about Dr. Graham Leger's murder° It could have been me.
Booth: No, it couldn't.
Brennan: Yes. What? How do you know?
Booth: I just know, okay? I'd bet my professional career on it. I already did.
Brennan: What?
Booth: Nothing.
Brennan: What did you do?
Booth: Bones, stop! This is the last time and place that you wanna be rational, okay? Let's just be wildly emotional and assume that you didn't psychotically murder a co-worker who invited you over for dinner!

Booth: You know? It’ll all come back Bones.
Brennan: You don’t know that, head injuries are extremely unpredictable.
Booth: I was trying to be reassuring.

Brennan: I'm sure he bought that black gum root to look into its medicinal properties.
Booth: Yeah, because we all know how effective that is.
Brennan: Voodoo healing is quite effective... no crazier than acupuncture or exorcism.
Booth: Hey-hey, just easy on the Catholics, just easy.

Brennan: How did I get away? Graham got killed, I got away, how did I do that?
Booth: You know Bones, all those things that Caroline mentioned: the martial arts, the shooting, the assaults, you’re just the type of woman that fights, you know, maybe they didn’t expect it, maybe they thought some kind of magic could hold you.
Brennan: I don’t believe in magic.
Booth: Exactly. You’re a surprising woman, and that’s sometimes enough to get away. °Brennan smiles°
Brennan: Why are you nice to me?
Booth: Because. Because they think they get away with it.
Brennan: What?
Booth: They burn their victim. They blow him up. They toss him in the ocean. They bury them in the desert. They throw ‘em to wood chippers. Sometimes, you know, years go by, they relax. Then they start living their lives like they didn't do anything wrong. Like they didn't spend somebody else's life in order to get what they got. They think they're safe from retribution. You make those bastards unsafe. That's why I'm nice to you.
Brennan: I couldn't do that without you Booth.
Booth: Yeah. So, um, you should be a little nicer to me, huh?
Brennan: I really should.

Brennan: Graham! Graham?
Booth: °under his breath° Cracker...
Brennan: Yeah, that's not funny.

Booth: Can I make a lifestyle suggestion?
Brennan: Go ahead.
Booth: You know, vacation - it's from the Latin "vacatio" and means, you know, freedom and release - you might want to consider that next time.
Brennan: Learning Latin?
Booth: This is the opposite of vacation. I mean, no wonder you snapped, went insane and totally lost your mind.
Brennan: Oh, thanks for your understanding.

Brennan: I do not believe.
Booth: Maybe just a little?
Brennan: No.

Brennan: God, I'm hungry.
Booth: Well, when was the last time you ate? °Brennan rolls her eyes° Oh, my bad. You have amnesia.

Booth: Voodoo -- who's gonna believe that stuff?
Brennan: It's a religion, no crazier than…Well what are you?
Booth: Catholic.
Brennan: They believe in the same saints you do, in prayer… What they call spells, you call miracles. They have priests.
Booth: We don't make zombies.
Brennan: Jesus rose from the dead after three days. °Booth gives her a shocked look°
Booth: Jesus is not a zombie! All right? Man, I shouldn't have to tell you that.

Booth: So, is it him?
Brennan: It's him, but here's the kickster.
Booth: Kicker, Bones, here's the kicker.
Brennan: Oh.

Brennan: Doctor, you performed Amy Cullen's graft, correct?
Doctor: Yes, but I just do the procedure, Ms. Brennan.
Booth: Doctor Brennan.
Doctor: M.D.?
Brennan: Ph.D.
Doctor: Well, those who can't do, do research.
°Brennan is really offended°

Brennan: So that's it. Whoever did this to Amy Cullen just, gets away?
Booth: No, no what we do now is we find out a way to make a legitimate FBI case.
Brennan: If one graft is infected, there’s no telling how many others are out there.
Booth: Jeez. You know I feel like I'm on a serial killer case, just waiting for the next victim to surface.
Brennan: You're not far off. What if BioTech makes a habit of selling diseased parts?
Booth: Well, then it becomes FBI business if one of those tainted grafts is sold across state line.
Brennan: Well you can spit into four states from where we are right now.
Booth: What?
Brennan: Not literally.

Booth: He's just a kid.
Brennan: It's always the young. Anthropologists have theorized that wars break out when there's an increase in the population of unmarried men under the age of 25. °Booth looks at her very hurt, as if she just slapped him in the worst manner° I'm sorry. I need to create a distance from the victim, it's how I deal. I didn't mean -
Booth: °pain written all over his face° Just...you know, do what you have to do. I'm gonna go do my thing.

Booth: You know I'm just gonna be asking his mother a few questions. You could have just stayed back there and played with your bones.
Brennan: I know. Just wanted to keep you company, that's all.
Booth: Company?
Brennan: Yeah, I'm trying to be more sociable, you know?
Booth: Lousy liar.
Brennan: I just think inside you're still military, Booth. You might be too close to this one. I just wanna make sure you stay objective.
Booth: I know how to do my job. Ok? I was doing it just fine long before I met you.
Brennan: You're angry.
Booth: Well, because I have people all around me with opinions about the war who don't know what the hell they're talking about.
Brennan: I've been in Sudan, Rwanda. For two months I sifted through the wreckage of 9/11 trying to help the families of the victims.
Booth: All I'm saying is that this is just another case, that's all, it's just another case.
Brennan: You're not such a great liar yourself. I'm your partner. Let me be your partner.

Brennan: What?
Booth: It's Jamie Richards. We were in the Rangers together. He was hit by a roadside bomb just outside the Green Zone. You know, he left a wife, two kids. The fact that he was near this...
Brennan: You believe somehow he's still here, watching?
Booth: Yeah. You don't, I get that.
Brennan: I know you think he was a good man, that's...that's enough for me.

Booth: °thoughtful and sad° I've done some things.
Brennan: I know.
Booth: No, no, you don't.
Brennan: But it's ok.
Booth: Well, not as a secret, it's not. °He sits down and Brennan sits down next to him° I have to be honest about myself. I have to be able to tell someone.
Brennan: You will in time, Booth. °Booth looks at her and nods° You will.
Booth: °with a lot of effort° I was sent to Kosovo. There was this Serb General, who led a unit who would go into villages and, you know, destroy them. Women, children, all killed because he wanted to ethnically purify his country. He'd done this twice before, I mean, we had facts, proof. 232 people, just erased. I was the sniper...sent in to stop him. He was set to leave in a couple of hours. It was his son's, son's birthday. °close to tears° A little boy, maybe about 6 or 7. I could still hear the music of the party, you know? That song, just playing in my head. Nobody knew where the shot came from but, you know, they knew why it came. They said I saved over a hundred people, but, you know, that little boy? Who didn't know who his father was, who just loved him? He saw him die, fall to the ground, right in front of him. That little boy, covered in his daddy's blood. Just changed forever. It's never just the one person who dies, Bones, never. Never. °Brennan gently puts her hand on his forearm. He looks at it gratefully and puts his hand on hers° We all die a little bit, Bones. With each shot, we all die a little bit.

Booth: Great. If you got what you want why are you giving me such grief? °he tries to walk away but Brennan stops him by gently taking hold of his arm°
Brennan: Because you could have been a little tougher in there.
Booth: I'm tough.
Brennan: Most of the time.
Booth: °laughs° Do you always have to get the last word in?
Brennan: I like to, yeah.

Booth: Why do you have to be so cynical?
Brennan: I'm not cynical. It’s a necessary part of the psychology of warfare -- heroes and villains. Without clear distinctions like that, we'd never be able to fight.
Booth: Yeah, well, I always found being shot at is a motivating factor.

Booth: Jimmy loved that guy, he didn’t kill him.
Brennan: Now you’re a mind reader?
Booth: Maybe. Want me to guess your weight?
Brennan: You do and you could lose a tooth.

Booth: Don’t tell me you are gonna trash the Duke.
Brennan: What, are you kidding? I love the Duke.
Booth: Wouldn’t have guessed that one, little lady. °says little lady impersonating John Wayne°
Brennan: Remember Stagecoach? °tries to impersonate John Wayne° Listen, cowboy, courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.
Booth: What was that, the Duke? That was horrible. That was like Jerry Lewis.
Brennan: Was not.

Brennan: Why are you letting me drive?
Booth: It's a reward.
Brennan: For what?
Booth: For totally pissing off a hitman. °they both laugh° Oh, can I read your book?
Brennan: After it's come out.
Booth: Not before?
Brennan: No.
Booth: But, what? I let you drive.

Booth: I know what you've been thinking.
Brennan: I doubt it.
Booth: You've been thinking that your family is made up of liars and criminals, and that makes you feel lonely. °She looks at him and her look says that he's hit the nail on the head° There's a story here we don't know yet.
Brennan: Like what?
Booth: Bones, "don't know" means it's a mystery.
Brennan: What were your parents like?
Booth: Hoah, my parents...my dad, he drove Thuds and Phantoms in Vietnam. Those are fighter jets. After that he was a barber in Philadelphia. My mom, she wrote jingles, for a local advertising agency.
Brennan: So they didn't go out at night, after you were asleep and robbed banks. °they look at each other for a while°
Booth: Listen, Bones. You know, parents, they have secret lives. If they didn't they wouldn't be parents.

Booth: Hey, Bones. Come on. °she turns to face him°
Brennan: °visibly shaken° My mother died of a subdural hematoma, bleeding in the brain.
Booth: You wanna proceed rationally, correct?
Brennan: Chances are the subdural hematoma was caused by a blow to the head.
Booth: Great! You got the how, now let's get the who. You just told me that your mother was murdered. I mean, who better to help us than your brother?

Brennan: Tissue depth of the cheek bones and along the jawline looks a little deep to me but otherwise--
Booth: °pulls Brennan away in a hurry° Outta limbo, back on Earth, and on our way to court. Thanks!

Brennan: My name is Brennan. I’m Dr. °Brennan huffs, almost in tears° I’m Dr. Temperance Brennan. °McVicar walks out° I work at the Jeffersonian Institution. I’m a forensic anthropologist. I specialize in identif…, in identifying, in identifying people when nobody knows who they are. My father was a science teacher and my mother was a bookkeeper. My brother, I have a brother. I’m Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Booth: I know who you are. Hey I know, it’s okay. °Brennan hugs Booth° Shh, it’s gonna be alright.

Brennan: Do that lying thing!
Booth: Could you be more specific?

Booth: What do you got?
Brennan: A dolphin. What does that tell you?
Booth: What does that tell you?
Brennan: My father was here.
Booth: Because he loves your mother and grieves her loss and he came here to talk to her. °He takes the dolphin out of the evidence bag Brennan put it in.°
Brennan: You're tainting evidence.
Booth: It's not that kind of evidence, Bones. It's evidence to something else. Something that can't be tainted.
°He hands her the dolphin and she looks at it for awhile.°
Brennan: It's beautiful.
Booth: Yeah.

Brennan: How am I gonna tell Russ that our father ordered the death of another human being?
Booth: If he did that - I'm not saying it happened that way - then your father took down the man who murdered his wife.
Brennan: Good people don't have other people murdered. Good people don't even know how.
Booth: Your father buried your mother in a pair of new shoes in a cemetery, with her dolphin belt buckle that reminded her of you because you both love dolphins.
Brennan: That does not make him a good man.
Booth: People can be more than one thing. °Brennan looks at him° We were at a dead end, now we're not, okay? We know that your father got to Mitchell Downs, persuaded him to kill McVicar. We find out how he did that, we're that much closer to finding out what happened to your old man. I mean, that's if you still wanna find him.
Brennan: I do.
Booth: Okay. Silver lining.

Brennan: Come on Booth, the part of you with the big gambling problem must love this idea.
Booth: Right there, that's the reason you didn't get Cam's job.

Brennan: Why didn't Goodman hire me?
Booth: My guess? People skills.

Brennan: Do you see a skull?
Booth: Ok Bones, I'm not looking for a skull.

Booth: Now, I'm gonna go stand over here while you, you know, talk to your mom.
Brennan: I told you I don't do that.
°Booth walks away while making the talk sign to her. He stays at a close distance watching over her throughout and urging her on°
Brennan: °feeling stupid° Mom, it's me Temperance. I have questions but you can't answer them, and no offence, but I don't think there's anything here of you but your bones so…°in a whisper° I can't believe I'm doing this. °close to tears° Is Dad a good man or a bad man? He had someone killed, had him murdered, and… What's the truth? Do I-- do I keep looking, or do I let it go like he asked? Who's he protecting? Himself? Or me and Russ? °turns to Booth who pretends he was looking in the other direction° Booth, I asked the questions, and guess what - no answer.
Booth: Well, maybe if you weren't standing right on top of her, took a step to the left, showed just a little respect. Sometimes it takes a while to get an answer, ok? Leave the flowers.
Brennan: °she kneels down and leaves the flowers° I get answers at a lab, you get them from people. Nobody gets answers from a slab of stone.
Booth: Yeah, well I see an answer in this stone. See, you buried your mother as Christine Brennan, the woman that you knew as your mother, and not by her real name, Ruth Keenan. That tells me who you are.

Booth: Well it looks like your brother was here.
Brennan: Never understood the idea of bringing flowers.
Booth: °hands her the flowers he brought° Just for once, Bones, do what people do. 'Kay? See how it feels.

Booth: "Casu Consulto". What does that mean?
Brennan: "Accidentally on purpose".
Booth: Why do you know things like this?

Booth: What we gotta do is we gotta wait until he deals. Catch him in the act.
Brennan: We wait for how long?
Booth: However long it takes.
Brennan: What do we do while we wait?
Booth: This is a stakeout, we converse.
Brennan: I tried to initiate conversation on the drug war, but -
Booth: Oh, God! Fine. You know what? Let's just talk about something we won't argue about. °Brennan moves back to her seat. Booth exhales.° Been out to your mother's grave?
Brennan: Not since the funeral.
Booth: Really?
Brennan: Why would I?
Booth: You know, to connect.
Brennan: She's dead.
Booth: Fine. You know what? Forget it!
Brennan: Dead, as in gone from this world. °Booth moves further away from her. After a little while Brennan again shifts closer to him and gently taps him on the shoulder.° Excuse me. I'm curious, do you talk to the headstone? I mean, what do you, what do you say?
Booth: It looks like I'm talking to the headstone, but what I'm really saying is that - forget about where the words are aimed. What I say is that I remember them.
Brennan: They can't hear you, because they're dead.
Booth: °runs out of patience° My mouth moves, words come out, but none seem to get across the draw-bridge to the princess I know who waits within. °The drug deal goes down.° We're out.
Brennan: °as they chase after the dealer° What princess?

Brennan: What?
Booth: The man who was charged with murdering your mother.
Brennan: The pig farmer? Vince McVicar?
Booth: He was killed, today at Alexandria federal facility.

Booth: And Cam, she got all bent out of shape.
Brennan: She wants to authorize all experiments.
Booth: Great. You know, Zack and Hodgins, they do an experiment with fake bones and Spam.
Brennan: What is your Spam fixation?
Booth: Defense lawyer hears Spam, he makes a joke, the jury laughs and everything we get from the Jeffersonian is framed as goofy science, you know, from a bunch of squints with no connection to the real world.
Brennan: That wouldn't happen.
Booth: Really? What about the time you dropped a dead monkey down the elevator shaft?
Brennan: No, that was to show ... °Brennan smiles° Okay, I take your point.
Booth: Cam's goal is a successful prosecution in a court of law.
Brennan: Same as mine and yours.
Booth: Nooo, you're all about finding the truth.
Brennan: Ok, your words say good, but your tone says bad, so it's confusing.
Booth: Cam knows that too much truth is just as bad as too little. See? Which is why she got the job.
Brennan: °pauses° Angela says that you and Cam had a sexual relationship. Does that affect your view of her?
Booth: °aghast° Wildly out of line, just so you know.

Brennan: You think Richardson can rise to the occasion? Be a decent father?
Booth: He's got Carlie's parents to help him and I like to think that people can change.
Brennan: Faith and hope, right?
Booth: Right.
Brennan: Angela threw in love, too.
Booth: Love is good.

Brennan: °about Richardson° He didn't kill her.
Booth: No, but he ran. How do you just cut your family out of your life like that?
Brennan: What about Abraham?
Booth: You're gonna throw religion in my face right now?
Brennan: I thought you find answers in what you believe.
Booth: Well, that's the one Bible story that I just don't like. I mean, God commands Abraham to kill his own son and he does.
Brennan: Abraham does not kill Isaac.
Booth: But old Ab, he had the intention.
Brennan: I thought what he had was faith.
Booth: Look, I have faith. But if God himself came down, pointed at Parker and said I want you to, you know, that ain't gonna happen.
Brennan: God's messenger stopped Abraham?
Booth: Yeah. You know, grabbed his hand the last second right before the knife was about to go in.
Brennan: Ok, then the lesson I would learn from this myth -
Booth: Myth?
Brennan: Fits the definition.
Booth: Ok, fine.
Brennan: That when it comes to your children your love has to be absolute. The messenger represents goodness, what you know to be right, ergo you have to remain open to what you know is true.
Booth: °smiles° Are you sure you're not religious?
Brennan: Science all the way.
Booth: Science all the way.
Brennan: Hey, even an empiricist can have a heart, Booth.

Brennan: I understand killers, I just don't know how mothers can do it. I mean, dogs can be trained in a couple of weeks. Kids, mothers have to give up their lives for years.
Booth: No, no. When you're looking at your kid, you don't feel like you're giving up anything.
Brennan: So, you'd do it again?
Booth: What?
Brennan: You'd have Parker, even with everything you're going through?
Booth: What kind of question is that?
Brennan: Wouldn't it be easier if Parker wasn't caught in this drama of yours, with Rebecca, new boyfriend?
Booth: God, no, no, Bones! He's my son. Whatever we're going through, it's not about that and he knows that.
Brennan: That's what parents say when they want to justify themselves.
Booth: You know, I haven't walked out on Parker, alright? I would never have done what your parents did.
Brennan: I didn't say you would, I just - I don't know. You're the father, I don't know anything about raising kids.
Booth: Parker's fine.

Booth: You want me to what?
Brennan: Stab the body for me. We need to match force with the injuries recorded on the remains.
Booth: Ok, I'm stabbing the body.
Brennan: It's a replica. We're all going to do it, you're just the closest to Kyle Richardson.
Booth: Ok, you know what? That's great, I'll be there in twenty. But in the future, you just got to ask me differently Bones, because you know what? Come over to your place to stab a body? That is just freaky.

Brennan: New boyfriend spending a lot of time with your son?
Booth: Yeah. So, you got any new information for me Bones?
Brennan: °referring to Parker° I'm sorry.
Booth: Yeah, there's no need.
Brennan: It must be hard, not being able to see him when you want to.
Booth: See, this is information that I already know, Bones. Why don't you, let's say we just discuss the case, hm?
Brennan: °sees that he's upset° Sure.
Booth: You know, I'm his father. Parker knows that. I mean, that's, that's what's important, not some stupid trip to the zoo.
Brennan: No, absolutely.
Booth: Right.
Brennan: Yeah.
Booth: Done.
Brennan: Of course.
Booth: Boom.

Brennan: I don't see why I couldn't drive.
Booth: Cause you're agitated.
Brennan: No, I am not.
Booth: You know what? You've turned this into a competition between you and Cam.
Brennan: I just like to be first on the scene, that's all, to protect the evidence.
Booth: She's not going to disturb anything.
Brennan: No, it's all tissue and blood and DNA with her. She doesn't appreciate the skeletal system. You can take the I70, it'll be quicker.
Booth: Don't backseat drive, ok?
Brennan: Haha, I think I know who's agitated.
Booth: Someone is annoying me, ok? That's different.
Brennan: Your ex.
Booth: Huh?
Brennan: That's who's annoying you. °teasingly° Because she has a new man in her life.
Booth: That's funny, you know, ok. I am concerned about my son. I wanna know what kind of guy this new boyfriend is and you know what? If she's not gonna tell me, I'll find out on my own.
Brennan: You're gonna run a background check on him?
Booth: You have kids and we'll talk.
Brennan: That's a lot to ask for a little conversation.

Brennan: And I'm supposed to know who that is?
Booth: Yeah. Disappeared a year ago, she was pregnant? Oh come on, Bones, you have to get a TV. Oh, hey, or at least, hey, thumb through a People to check out things.
Brennan: Was it in the Journal of Forensic Anthropology?
Booth: Oh, you know, I forgot to renew my subscription. You know Bones, you really need to take up some other interest.
Brennan: Well, I'm reading Ted Gioia's History of Jazz, was she mentioned in there? Or maybe in McGee's Science and Lore of the Kitchen. Or perhaps I should develop an interest in the mainstream media's exploitation of crimes for their entertainment value.
Booth: °amused° You know, that's amazing Bones, you can be really snotty sometimes.

Booth: °on the phone° Monkeys are Daddy's favorite! They're just like people!
Brennan: °interrupting° Actually, three million base pairs of the genome differ in protein encoding and other functional areas.
Booth: What?
Brennan: The differences between chimps and humans.
Booth: I'm talking to a four year old, Bones.

Brennan: Were you lying? Or do you really think Kelly Morris is still alive?
Booth: I don't know.
Brennan: You don't know if she's alive?
Booth: I don't know if I was lying...

Booth: Do you have a list like Carter?
Brennan: Of foster families that didn't work out? Yeah, we all did. I wrote mine on the bottom of a shoe.
Booth: Oh. You know, they say foster kids, they're really hard on themselves.
Brennan: They?
Booth: Yeah, experts, psychologists. Apparently foster kids feel so alone in this mean world, they lose that knack of trusting other people.
Brennan: You mean at work?
Booth: Ah, everywhere, you know? The weight of the world, it's profound. They say they have a hard time letting themselves off the hook, they grow up with control issues.
Brennan: Are you telling me something, Booth?
Booth: °nonchalantly° No. Just, you know, something to keep under consideration when we catch up with Kelly Morris.
Brennan: Ok.
Booth: If you decide to take some other wisdom out of it, none of my business.
Brennan: How Cam and I get along is none of your business.
Booth: Yeah, right, which I just said, said just then, none of my business.
°Brennan remains thoughtful, pondering his words°

Brennan: You have a read on Dylan Krane?
Booth: Oh, yeah. He had that whole adolescent savior complex thing going on big time.
Brennan: Savior complex?
Booth: Yeah, teenage boys love nothing more than the idea of saving the damsel in distress.
Brennan: How do you know?
Booth: Well, ‘cause, I was, you know, I was a teenage boy.

Booth: You ok, Bones?
Brennan: I was a foster child.
Booth: Yeah, I know.
Brennan: Do people always assume the worst of me?
Booth: You know, I know that you hate psychology, but those people, they just lost their son. They need to blame someone.

Booth: So what do you wanna do next?
Brennan: Hmm. That's up to Cam, isn't it?
Booth: No Bones, I asked you. What do you wanna do?
Brennan: I think... I think we shouldn't close off any avenue of investigation. We stay on all the evidence and see where it leads us, like we did before Cam.

Booth: Neither rain, nor sleet, nor dead of night.
Brennan: The Postal Service motto.

Booth: You know, if you had a pet pig, what would you name him?
Bones: °gives Booth an incredulous look° Jasper.

Booth: You ever have a dog, Bones?
Brennan: I always wanted a pig.
Booth: A pig?
Brennan: Very smart. And despite the popular misconception, very clean.
Booth: I prefer my pig with a little mint, a little honey glaze...
Brennan: Not funny...

Booth: °slaps Brennan's hand° What are you doing?
Brennan: Where's the siren on this thing?
Booth: Don't touch!

Booth: °referring to a necklace Brennan is holding° What's that?
Brennan: Religious medal. Sarah had it in her possession.
°Brennan gives the necklace to Booth°
Booth: St. Agnes. Patron saint of young women. Especially those who remain pure.
Brennan: How do you know all that?
Booth: Catholic, Bones.

Booth: Okay people! Listen up! I'm calling in a splunking team-
Brennan: Spelunking.
Booth: -spelunking team with imaging capabilities to look for a stone cross. 'Till they get here, let's focus on the ventilation shafts-
°Brennan taps Booth's shoulder°
Booth: -hold on-to the west of the main shaft-
°Brennan continues to tap Booth's shoulder°
Booth: What?
°Brennan points to a stone cross behind her°
Booth: Oh. °to search team° Never mind!

Brennan: I'm fine, Booth. I'm sitting here thinking about it and... I'm fine.
Booth: Okay. What I'm getting from you here, Bones, is that you're fine.
Brennan: °takes the photograph of Sarah and looks at it° He murdered Sarah. He was about to murder Helen. Why should I feel upset about shooting him? You know, if I was going to be upset, which I'm not, it would be because Epps thinks he beat us, so-
Booth: He didn't.
Brennan: I know.
Booth: You're upset because you think he beat us. And you know what? He did.
Brennan: Beat us?
Booth: Yeah.
Brennan: You just said that he didn't.
Booth: Well, I changed my mind.
Brennan: What, in the last three seconds?
Booth: You know, you're afraid that Epps turned you into him. Into a killer. You have to come to grips with the fact that you killed another human being. Because when you kill someone, you know, there's a cost. A steep cost. I know. I've done it.
Brennan: I did the right thing.
Booth: I know. °Brennan's eyes are glistening with tears° I was there.

Booth: I got something for you.
Brennan: A bottle of hard liquor?
Booth: Next best thing.
°takes a small pig figurine out of his pocket, sits it in the palm of his hand, and moves close to Brennan°
Booth: Meet Jasper.
°They both smile. Brennan takes Jasper from Booth's hand and looks at it.°
Booth: You're gonna be okay.
Brennan: °lifts her eyes to Booth and speaks with vulnerability in her voice° Yeah?
Booth: Definitely.

Booth: You know what Bones, it might be all anthropology to you, but there are certain people you just can't sleep with. I mean, you can pretend that it's just sex, you can lie to yourself and you can say that it's all good but there are too many strings, too much at stake, you know? Too much to lose.
Brennan: Yeah, I can see that.

Brennan: Unless he was dead before the shot.
Booth: Well yeah it’s true but a… Wait what?
Brennan: The inside of Larry’s skull is pitted which I had always attributed to defects of the lye but each tiny hole matches perfectly with the bird shot right down to the specks of copper.
Booth: Are you saying it was suicide?
Brennan: I would - except these holes are void of blood, which would suggest they were inflicted after blood stopped pumping through Larry’s head.
Booth: You know what? Keep talking. I’ll catch up.
Brennan: Well unlike the blunt force trauma no shortage of blood here, proving he was dead before he was shot.
Booth: So we’re talking about a faked homicide meant to cover up a faked suicide?
Brennan: A faked suicide meant to cover up an actual original murder.

Booth: And how did Hodgins find out?
Brennan: I’m sorry?
Booth: °Imitating Hodgins° Yeah, I hear you're back with your ex.
Brennan: I don’t know. I assume it was Cam. I was only trying to engage her in social intercourse.

Brennan: Are you sure this is the best time to tell them?
Booth: After two days of nagging me now you’re getting cold feet?
Brennan: I do not nag!
Booth: Well you know it’s an anthropological inevitability for a woman to gossip and nag.

Booth: I almost married her you know?
Brennan: Agent Curry?
Booth: Rebecca. My ex.
Brennan: Oh, you wanna talk about her now.
Booth: She got pregnant. I wanted to do the right thing, but you know she said no.
Brennan: You’ve told me this before. Not that you’ve ever said why.
Booth: Well, issues with my job, she wanted to start her own career, she wanted to finish graduate school.
Brennan: Alone with a baby?
Booth: Logic. Right, you’re applying logic?
Brennan: Do you still love her?
Booth: Not like I did. Not like that.
Brennan: Then why can’t it just be sex?
Booth: There’s nothing "just" about sex, Bones.

Brennan: And if you're not helpless then why did you sleep with her?
Booth: Oh I really don't recall saying that I did!
Brennan: Well you didn't have to. I could hear it in your voice. I might as well have walked in on you having sex.
Booth: Oh you didn't and we weren't.
Brennan: It's nothing to be ashamed of Booth. Humans act upon a hierarchy of needs, and sex is very highly ranked. It's an anthropological inevitability.
Booth: Thank you Bones. I really appreciate you boiling me down to your anthropological inevitabilities.
Brennan: Sure.
Booth: Anytime.

Brennan: I was not gossiping!
Booth: Oh really. So then what would you call it?
Brennan: Merely sharing a point of interest.
Booth: Great. So now what am I? World’s largest ball of string?
Brennan: No, not you, your behavior was a textbook example of just how helpless we higher primates can be to our biological urges.
Booth: I am not helpless.

Brennan: I'm not sure I can totally trust Dr. Saroyan after that.
Booth: You know, Bones, Cam is a cop at heart. She just wants to catch the bad guys. There are a lot of grey areas.
Brennan: Not for you. You did the right thing.
Booth: Yeah, it worked out is all.
Brennan: You did the right thing.

Brennan: I don't know what he means.
Booth: It means that he had sex with her and forgot to learn her name.

Brennan: Debris embedded in the remains suggests an explosion.
Booth: So does that giant hole in the wall.

Booth: C'mon, Alex, baby steps...°pause° No offense.
Brennan: °laughing° I just got that, it's baby steps because °laughs° you're so small. °pause° It's probably offensive.

Booth: That's State Department speak: We don't do it his way, we'll get fired.
Brennan: See, if a regular-sized person tried to intimidate you, you'd threaten to kick him through the window. But because, in his case, it's an actual physical possibility...

Brennan: You like this song?
Booth: Nobody likes this song.
Brennan: You're dancing to it.
Booth: I maybe swing a little. °hums°
Brennan: And humming.
Booth: It's just something that you do in the elevator.
Brennan: Buddhists say that if we can lose ourselves in the moment, without distraction or desire, we experience truth.
Booth: Why can't you just hum like a normal, happy person?

Brennan: You OK?
Booth: °thoughtful and unsure° Yeah. I just, I remembered that I had an appointment. °He gets up preparing to leave°
Brennan: °disappointedly° Oh, so I'll see you tomorrow?
°Booth looks at Cam waiting downstairs and then looks at Brennan°
Booth: No. You know, you have all the paperwork from the case right?
Brennan: No, I was gonna stay, do it anyway, so -
Booth: Nah, no, you know, it's our case, I wanna help.
Brennan: You don't have to Booth.
Booth: Bones, just drop it, OK? °in a Basso profondo° I'm here to help.
Brennan: Well, what about your appointment?
Booth: It's, you know, it's no big deal. I'll tell you what. How about I °he rests his arms upon the table while standing and leans in really close to her° order some take out and ditch these donuts.
Brennan: °with a big smile° Sure.
Booth and Brennan: Thai food.
°They both smile at each other and share a moment°
Booth: This time I'm ordering extra crab because last time you ate it all.
Brennan: What? I thought you were done.

Brennan: I mean, look at this. Millions of tax dollars are spent to clean and treat tap water, and yet people spend billions on bottled water.
Booth: Well it's cleaner, look: It comes from a clean mountain stream.
Brennan: Yeah, which contains fecal matter from animals.
Booth: There's no...bones in it, though, is there? °mumbles° Don't want that in your water.

Brennan: °on the phone with Booth° Hey it's me. Are you with Kristen Mitchell?
Booth: Yeah. Uh, we're just uh, sittin' here, ya know. waitin' for a lawyer. Why?
Brennan: Okay I need to know if her hips are even.
Booth: Is that slang or do you really mean even?
Brennan: Well stand behind her, place your hands on her hips, then move your hands up to her rib cage, gauging if it's an equal distance on each side.
Booth: That is so not gonna happen.

Booth: Did you learn anything?
Brennan: Yeah, I learned about cankles, how about you?
Booth: I found a possible suspect.
Brennan: °notices the boy's boots° Cam and Zack said that Brianna was kicked with a steel-toed boot.
Booth: Looks like my possible suspect just became our primary suspect.

Booth: You know, Bones, I like to think that some place deep inside people really know what's important.
Brennan: It's hard to believe when you see women trying to disguise or change themselves. I never understood that.
Booth: Well, I mean... no, of course you wouldn't.
Brennan: °frowns° Why?
Booth: It's just, you know, someone who looks like... you... well, wouldn't. °Brennan stares at him.° Just because of the way you look.
Brennan: I don't understand. What... way do I look?
Booth: °stammers° Well, you know, you... you're structured °takes a deep breath° very well.
Brennan: °smiles slowly° As are you.

Booth: °to Agent Zhang° So, I dragged out one of the top forensic anthropologists across the country on the word of a prostitute?
Brennan: What difference does her profession make?
Booth: I'm backing you up.
Brennan: You're judging.
Booth: I wasn't judging, I had your back.
Brennan: Yeah, your voice was judging.

Booth: You never told me the second reason why you bet on me.
Brennan: Yeah, it was...silly.
Booth: Well, come on, you know, try me.
Brennan: "Beginner's Luck." I haven't lost at anything since being here, so I figured if I bet on you, then--
Booth: I couldn't lose.
Brennan: It sounds silly, right?
Booth: It sounds familiar. Thanks.

Booth: It's human cock-fighting.
Brennan: More like lesser surrogates engaged in battles on behalf of the elite lords who don't have the courage to fight themselves.
Booth: Right, you know what? °snaps his fingers° Come back to me Roxie, huh?
Brennan: Ooo, look at all the sweat!

Brennan: °referring to her shoes° How does anyone actually walk in these things?
Booth: Oh you know them boots they ain't made for walking sweetheart °slaps Brennan's butt°
Brennan: Okay that was completely over the top.

°Brennan is on the phone with Angela while Booth is zipping up the dress he picked out for her°
Booth: That’s hot!
Angela: Hot? Wait a minute what’s hot?
Brennan: °stuttering° Uh… Nu-nothing Vegas, Vegas is hot. It’s a, very hot here.

Booth: I don’t want anyone knowing we’re FBI.
Brennan: That’s easy for me, I’m not.

Booth: °referring to Brennan’s little show in the gym° That was amazing! What got into you?
Brennan: It’s from when I used to watch old movies with my dad--he really liked Clara Bow.
Booth: Bones, Clara Bow was in silent movies.
Brennan: Oh...then I guess that's just how I imagined she'd sound.

Brennan: °coming out in a rather chaste black dress° What do you think?
Booth: °sarcastically° I have enough Bibles, thank you, but try next door.
Brennan: You said I could be a school teacher.
Booth: Not the spinster kind who lives with her sister but, you know, the hot one who makes the boys crazy. Here, °hands her a dress° put on the one that I picked out, alright?
Brennan: Okay, but don't be so bossy. °She disappears into the bathroom.°
Booth: We're newlyweds I said. Taking Sin City by storm, ready for action.
Brennan: °from the bathroom° But you know, marriage is such an archaic institution.
Booth: °exhales in frustration° Listen Bones, I know what I'm doing. Okay? I've done this before, just stop arguing.
Brennan: I'm not. It's just, you know, I don't need a piece of paper to prove my commitment.
Booth: Fine. We're engaged.
Brennan: Why would I be okay with engagement?
Booth: Whatever Bones, alright? We're a loosely committed couple of hot high rollers with money to burn. ‘Cause that's what's gonna get us in the door.
Brennan: °comes out of the bathroom in a stunning little black dress° Like this?
Booth: °staring and swallowing° Yeah, like that.

Booth: Wait here!
Brennan: And do what exactly?
Booth: You're an anthropologist observe the culture!

Brennan: Oh my God! I completely forgot you can't be here Booth, you're a degenerate gambler.
Booth: Former gambler, okay not degenerate. I've been through the program okay. And you know he's on the move!
Brennan: What if you get a sudden urge to gamble while you're here? It's like sending an alcoholic to a distillery. Do you need to sit down?

Brennan: They call this America’s playground?
Booth: We're 15 miles outside of Vegas, Bones. This is America’s frying pan.
Brennan: No kidding, a person can melt before finding a body anywhere near here.

Brennan: I'm okay with you thanking God for saving me and Hodgins.
Booth: That's not what I thanked Him for. I thanked Him for saving ... all of us. It was all of us, every single one. You take one of us away and you and Hodgins are in that hole forever. °Booth looks at Brennan whose eyes are glistening with tears.° And I'm thankful for that.
Brennan: I knew you wouldn't give up.
Booth: I knew you wouldn't give up.

Brennan: What did you ask for?
Booth: That's between me and a certain Saint. Although, I did ask for a little help finding the Gravedigger.
Brennan: Good move. What's that smell?
Booth: Candles. And I said thanks. You should try it some time.
Brennan: If I were going to pray, I would have done it just before we set off the explosion.
Booth: And you didn't?
Brennan: No, see, if there was a God, which there isn't -
Booth: Shhhh. °looks around° Do you see where we are?
Brennan: And if I were someone who believed He had a plan...
Booth: Which I do...
Brennan: Then I'd be tempted to think He wanted me to go through something like I went through because it might make me more open to the whole... concept.

Brennan: Had it occurred to you that God is a lot like the Gravedigger?
Booth: °stammers° What? What?
Brennan: He lays down the rules, no way to question Him or negotiate, then it's almost as though He doesn't care how it works out. Either you do as He says, make some sacrifices and are delivered, or you don't and you end up in Hell.
Booth: You know what I'd appreciate? If you didn't say things like that, because I really don't want to get struck by lightning.
Brennan: You go to church every Sunday?
Booth: Yes, I do.
Brennan: Can I come with you?
Booth: No, you can't.
Brennan: Why? It might help me to understand.
Booth: I am not gonna help you disrespect God in His own house, okay? If you wanna do some kind of, you know, anthropological study, turn on the religious channel.

Booth: Are those what I think they are?
Brennan: Yes, as long as you think they're two adolescent human males.

Booth: °concerned° You want me to go down there with you?
Brennan: No, I don't want the remains compromised.

Brennan: I sure know how to pick 'em. Don't I?
Booth: Well, you know, our perceptions are always colored by what we hope, what we fear, what we love. We do the best we can.
Brennan: I'm afraid my best isn't good enough. I can read bones, not people.
Booth: Oh, you know, you had no trouble seeing through me. °smiles at her and she smiles back°
Brennan: It's a good thing I like being alone.
Booth: You know what Bones? You're not alone, OK? °She's turned her back to him, he touches her on the shoulder to turn her around, after a little hesitation she does°
Brennan: Booth...
Booth: You're my partner, OK? It's a guy hug. Take it.
°They hug real tight, Booth smiling thoughtfully and Brennan looking happy and safe°

Brennan: I didn't say anything.
Booth: But you're looking at me, as if I'm in trouble and you're a teacher.
Brennan: You're very touchy lately Booth.
Booth: Look Bones, I don't know why I didn't tell you about Cam.
Brennan: Did I mention Cam?
Booth: I just didn't want it to get weird I guess.
Brennan: Weird?
Booth: We're partners, you know? Together all the time, right? You're a woman, and I'm a man, and I never had a relationship, like this. Where we were like two guys. Except you're not, you know, a guy! °trying to convince himself° Yeah.
Brennan: No. No, I'm not… Should I feel odd about wanting to hang out with Will?
Booth: No. Of course not, you know? Because… essentially… I mean you're a guy, like me. But not really.
Brennan: That would mean that, to me, you are essentially a woman. °Booth looks at her surprised and displeased° Yeah, I can see that.
Booth: No, no, no, no, no. I'd prefer not to be a woman if you don't mind.
Brennan: I'm merely trying to follow your reasoning, Booth.
Booth: Ok, fine. What do you say we just, you know, drop it for now?

Brennan: Lori was not Graham's only girlfriend. He had lots of girlfriends, but he somehow managed to keep them secret from each other.
Booth: So what would happen if a very jealous Lori found out?
Brennan: I don't know, that's more your territory.
Booth: What? What am I, cheating?
Brennan: °amused° I just meant that you use psychology. You're very touchy. Perhaps because of all your skulking around?
Booth: I'm discreet, okay? It's different. A gentleman is discreet. Okay?

Brennan: By walking out, maybe Russ gave me my life.
Booth: You know, what Will said, he was right, you turned out OK. °smiles at her, Brennan doesn't smile back but looks at him pondering, knowing what she knows about him and Cam°
Brennan: I’m going to have coffee with him.
Booth: That was quick.
Brennan: He understands something no one else I know does. People need connection, Booth, even me. Obviously, you have one with Cam. So…
Booth: °in shock° What?
Brennan: I thought you’d mention it. I mean, isn’t that what partners do, tell each other about their lives?
Booth: Wait a second. Look Bones I…
Brennan: Sorry. I’m sorry I forgot how self conscious you are talking about sex.
Booth: I am not… I’m…

Brennan: Why didn't you tell me you had Father Coulter under surveillance?
Booth: It is my job to find your dad and put him in prison.
Brennan: And you don't think I'll help?
Booth: What? He's your father. I really don't think I should have to ask you to help.
Brennan: He abandoned me, Booth, and that's the best thing you can say about him.
Booth: Your father lives by a certain code and part of that code is defending his family by whatever means necessary.
Brennan: You mean killing people and setting their corpses on fire.
Booth: Any means necessary sort of covers that.
Brennan: You respect him?
Booth: I'm just saying in his world he's a very honorable man.
Brennan: That's ridiculous. There's only one world. It's this one.
Booth: Would that be the one world where you're mad at me for trying to catch your father or the other world where you actually want him caught.
Brennan: Neither.
Booth: Well, you gotta pick one.
Brennan: Either. Both.

Booth: °talking about Russ° I still make him nervous, don't I? °pulls Bones out of her chair by the arm° Come on let's go.
Bones: What...why do I always feel like you're abducting me? °hits him playfully on the arm°

Brennan: °looking around Delaney's apartment, talking to Booth° His place is much better than yours. Ten times better.
Booth: I told you, he left public service. He makes, uh, more money than I.

Booth: He's a stoolie.
Brennan: What, Zack?
Booth: No, our victim, ya know? He's a rat, a snitch.
Brennan: What makes you say that?
Booth: His guts got spilled, alright? Ya know, spill your guts.

Booth: I'm sorry, that you had to go through it again, watching your family drive off, leaving you behind. I'm sorry.
Brennan: My father is, is-
Booth: He's your dad, and he loves you.
Brennan: °close to tears° You know, I'm just...I'm just one of those people who doesn't get to be in a family.
Booth: Listen, Bones, hey. There's more than one kind of family. °He looks at her with concern, holding her chin. They're having a moment when Zack knocks at the window and signals them to come in° Well, Zack got the job, right?
Brennan: Come in and congratulate him.
Booth: Nah, he's your squints, not my squints.
Brennan: No, Booth! °takes him by the arm and drags him to the door° We are all of us your squints. Do me a favor and pat Zack on the shoulder with an open hand.

Booth: °talking about Zack° Is he gonna make it?
Brennan: °talking about the corpse in front of them° No he's very dead.

Brennan: I wish you wouldn't keep letting me hug you when I get scared.
Booth: Hey, I get scared...I'll hug you. We'll call it even.

Booth: °reads from a bible° The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.
Brennan: What does that mean?
Booth: That's the law of the jungle.

Brennan: I need a gun.
Booth: No, you don't. Ya got me, I'm your gun.

Booth: °After he puts Parker on the Merry-Go-Round, he turns around and sees Brennan° Hi, how’d you know I was here?
Brennan: Saturday morning, how’s Parker?
Booth: Yeah, I’m afraid I freaked him out the other day, he’s really scared of this place, now I gotta put that right.
Brennan: That’s you all over, putting things right.

Brennan: °reasoning why Epps fell from Booth's grip° You didn't have your full strength, your wrist was hurt from pulling Zack away from the explosion.
Booth: My wrist wasn't hurt, Bones.
Brennan: °scoffs° I wish you'd let me shoot him.
Booth: °somberly° No, you don't. °gets up and walks away°

Brennan: Marianne Epps is a clearly bad mother.
Booth: °scoffs° Yeah, well you think?!
Brennan: But, a lot of people have bad mothers and they don't grow up to be serial killers, which is why I don't put much stock in psychology.
Booth: All right listen Bones, I don't care how you explain it, all right, the guy, he's an animal, he's got no conscience.
Brennan: I don't know how one draws moral distinctions between killers?
Booth: Listen Bones all right? There are crimes of passion, all right, crimes committed out of desperation, which are usually followed by remorse or acknowledgement of human failing, the key word here is human.
Brennan: The reasons for killing someone are unimportant, the life that's taken is all that matters.
Booth: Listen, you can't blame yourself here.
Brennan: Yeah, it's me he's after, Angela and everyone else, they shouldn't be involved.
Booth: Look, it's not your fault all right, it's all Epps, which is why I'm gonna take this little bastard down.
°Brennan looks in the side mirror and realizes that there is a car following them.°
Brennan: Booth – °more urgently° Booth – we're being followed.
Booth: Um-hmm, that's right, °chuckles° two agents all the time at a very discreet distance, see, and I don't care how big your gun is, all right?

Booth: °seeing Brennan yawn° Maybe you would like something a little more exciting, huh Bones? Like Attica.
Brennan: My neighbors are renovating their apartment and one of the workmen left his radio on. Hip-Hop is not conducive to sleep.

Booth: You know what happened to Cam happened because we had a personal relationship.
Brennan: Had?
Booth: Yeah, people who work in high-risk situations, they can't be involved romantically because it leads to things like what happened.
Brennan: High risk situations?
Booth: Every single day it's with us, there's this line and we can't cross it, you know what I'm saying?
Brennan: Yes, I understand. °She exhales, pondering disappointedly. Parker waves at them.° He seems okay now.
Booth: Yeah, you know, it's important to make things right, we just don't know how. I don't know how.

Booth: You and Epps, okay, it's personal. You're everything that he hates.
Brennan: And what is that exactly?
Booth: Well, you know, you're a smart, strong, confident woman. °Brennan smiles slightly° And uh, figured him out you made him feel powerless. So, he's gonna want to uh, prove that uh, you're weak and inferior. So you are not to go out on your own ever.

Booth: °about Brennan’s gun° OK, people see you with that, next thing you know everyone in this place will start packing.
Brennan: This is America. Get used to it!

Brennan: Considering the relationship between you and Cam, I would like to say the right thing. Booth, I don’t know what it is. Usually I’d ask you or Angela…
Booth: You just said it, thanks.

Booth: You know, I could have the bureau pull your license.
Brennan: Yeah, and I could assign Zack as your forensic anthropologist!

Brennan: °examining the burned body in the cell° Contortion indicates a...painful death.
Booth: Well, after killing four teenage girls that we know about, it's just what the doctor ordered.

Brennan: °about Epps° You were right, he was pretty upset when he found out we had his mother.
Booth: You told him...That's good. Make the bastard sweat.

Brennan: That's Sully calling right now. °hesitant° We're, uhm, we're doing, you know, what we did.
Booth: °a little worry in his voice° You know, I'll be back soon.
Brennan: OK. I'll talk to you later.
°Booth hangs up and remains thoughtful and slightly worried°

Brennan: I thought you said you'd be down on the next flight.
Booth: I haven't met with the shrink, yet.
Brennan: What shrink?
Booth: Well, the department psychiatrist has to sign a piece of paper saying, you know, that I am not nuts before I get my gun back, so I got an appointment tomorrow.
Brennan: °sarcastically° Great, now I have to break in this Agent Sullivan?
Booth: Sully's a great guy, okay. And for your information, you never broke me in.

Brennan: Wow, those socks! Those are amazing..
Booth: That's right, the socks, the tie, the belt buckle, all escape valves for my socio-economic rage.
Brennan: I hate psychology.
Booth: Oh, you know, they help me deal with the day to day irritations of dealing with people that are more privileged.
Brennan: °out of the blue° I slept with Sully last night.
Booth: °taken aback° Oh, I though you already, uh...
Brennan: No, last night.
Booth: °uncomfortably° Yeah, it's really none of my business.
Brennan: Except, we're partners...
Booth: Yeah, there's that.
Brennan: And you told me about your socks.
Booth: Sex, socks, pretty much the same word.
Brennan: Do we have a case, or are you just visiting?
Booth: Yeah, I'll fill you in on the way. It's messy, you better get some protection.
Brennan: Let me get my gum boots.°She leaves°
Booth: °Sighs° Yeah, I'm gonna need a flashier tie.

Brennan: Do you have therapy today?
Booth: It's not therapy.
Brennan: Well, you're seeing a psychiatrist.
Booth: Not for therapy. It's an official evaluation, okay?

Brennan: °Pointing to Booth’s tie° What is that?
Booth: What’s what?
Brennan: Your tie. It’s staid.
Booth: Staid?
Brennan: Yeah like boring. It looks like J. Edgar Hoover picked it out.

Booth: Look, Gordon Gordon says that the, you know, the wild socks and fancy ties are just, you know, quiet rebellions helping me suppress other impulses.
Brennan: Isn’t that good?
Booth: You’d think so but, you know, apparently all the other issues have to just rise to the top.

Booth: Tell you something: the sales of your book are gonna skyrocket after this.
Brennan: The only problem is, our ending is a lot better than the one I wrote in the book.
Booth: What, are you kidding me? Huh? Kathy Reichs and the FBI guy in the back of the AMG?
Brennan: °smiles° The arrest.
Booth: Oh, yeah, there's that.

Booth: So, is it just me, or is this, you know, kinda weird?
Brennan: What?
Booth: In your new book, they found a body at the marina, right?
Brennan: You read my book?
Booth: Of course. A guy at the dock saw something floating in the water, thought it was a dead fish, ended up being a decomposed hand. A dive crew just located the rest of the body.
Brennan: I didn't think you would have the time to read my book.
Booth: You have time to write it, I have time to read it. Besides, you can't avoid the damn thing, your book's everywhere.

Booth: You're gonna come at me like you came at Sully?
Brennan: What is that supposed to mean?
Booth: Look, far be it from me to stick my nose into your bedroom but I've known Sully a long time and believe me, he's one of the good guys.
Brennan: I know Sully, Booth.
Booth: Yeah, and I know you. Somebody gets too close you just wanna push them away.

Booth: Sully is a nice guy.
Brennan: That sounded condescending.
Booth: I'm just trying to be nice, ok? I'm complimenting the fact that you got a good one this time.
Brennan: Thereby implying I'm incapable of making my own judgments.
Booth: The physicist who couldn't tie his shoes. Oh, the former professor who was jealous of your success. Should I stop?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: Oh, the guy that you found on the Internet and then turned out to be some kind of recruiter for a cult. Oh, and this is my favorite: a guy who cut off his own brother's head because he thought he was possessed by a witch.
Brennan: You made your point.
Booth: I'm just saying, a guy who wants to take you away from all of this on a sailboat? That's a step up.
Brennan: Condescending.

Brennan: You had a vacation and never left town.
Booth: It wasn't a vacation, it was a suspension.
Brennan: Plus compulsory therapy.
Booth: Hey, dude, don't knock therapy, ok? Dr. Wyatt has helped me realize that there are certain °looks pointedly in her direction° pressures that build up on the job and I need creative ways -
Brennan: We do everything together.
Booth: Of dealing with them.
Brennan: What, what exactly do you have to contend with on the job that I don't?
Booth: You Bones, you don't have to contend with you.

Brennan: Sully bought that boat.
Booth: °sarcastically° Yeah, hah, next thing you know he'll be shipwrecked on some island talking to a volleyball.
Brennan: He's leaving for the Caribbean.
Booth: Really? °sympathetic° Look, I'm-I'm sorry Bones, I know the two of you were kinda hittin' it off.
Brennan: He wants me to go with him.
Booth: °shocked and uncomfortable° Oh...um..yeah.
Brennan: He says I should take a year off, a sabbatical, he says it would be fun.
Booth: °rushes° Yeah, it would be.
Brennan: °confused° But you just said he'd be shipwrecked with a volleyball.
Booth: Well, he's got you he doesn't need the volleyball.
Brennan: You think I should go?
Booth: °takes a long pause and then looks at her° Yeah, yeah, you know, what's one year out of your life? You know, a person's gotta live wide, this is kinda narrow.

Booth: Alright Sully look, I want you to look into buying one of those ancient weapons, Leaping Donkey?
Brennan: Flying Horse.
Booth: Yeah whatever, see if Harper surfaces long enough to, err, to make the sale.

Brennan: Okay, I want the whole kip and canoodle transported to the Jeffersonian.
Booth: °look of disbelief° Kit and caboodle.
Brennan: Whatever.

Brennan: I'm supposed to be on vacation. You know.. spending time with Sully...
Booth: Oh, that's a good lesson for Sully then, huh? Next time he actually takes you away on vacation you should go away and, ya know, leave town.

Booth: You know, in therapy I learned that uh, superlatives like perfect are uh, meaningless.
Brennan: Not in science, a perfect number is a number whose divisors add up to itself, as in one plus two plus three equals six.
Booth: Well, in therapy I learned that definitive statements are by their very nature, wrong.
Brennan: Isn't the statement "definitive statements are by their very nature wrong", definitive, and thus wrong?
Booth: °aghast° You hate psychology!
Brennan: You haven't said anything to change my mind.
Booth: °frustrated° You know this is why, okay, sometimes I do things like shoot up an ice cream truck.
Brennan: °sarcastically° Well, it's a good thing you have therapy.
Booth: °tense Pause° You know, we talked about you in therapy.
Brennan: °suddenly interested° You did?
Booth: °still very tense° Um-hmm.
Brennan: What did you say?
Booth: Well, you know, since it was uh, my therapy, I don't have to share the details. °smugly° Sorry!

Brennan: What are you doing here?
Booth: I am waving good-bye. See?
Brennan: What do you want?
Booth: Breakfast.
Brennan: I am not hungry.
Booth: Oh, come on, huh? °Booth puts his arm around Bones and walks with her° What are you gonna vomit when you come across one of those horrific cases?
Brennan: I don't vomit.
Booth: Give it time Bones, okay? Give it time. Everything happens eventually.
Brennan: Everything?
Booth: All the good stuff. And when you think it never happens, it happens. Just got to be ready for it.

Brennan: I have no intuition.
Booth: None. Zilch.
Brennan: You have no analytical skills. You're all about emotion and feeling. They say that means you have a well developed feminine side.
Booth: Who says that?
Brennan: Psychologists. What? You're the one who believes in them.
Booth: Let's just stick to the case.

Booth: Ha! Ha!
Brennan: What?
Booth: We're back!
Brennan: We're back!
°they give each other a high five with huge grins on their faces°

Booth: We're definitely not working well together.
Brennan: Because you are bossy and judgmental.
Booth: Problems between people are never just one person's fault.
Brennan: What about Hitler? He did pretty well on his own.

Booth: She refers to God as my invisible friend.
Brennan: You're talking to somebody that isn't there. I'm sure the doctor questions your little fantasy.

Booth: He's an old-school priest, Bones.
Brennan: What? So I'm supposed to walk on egg shells because someone believes that a plot of earth has supernatural properties because somebody waved a wand over it?
Booth: There's no wand. The church doesn't use wands.
Brennan: Fine. Fine - magic water.
Booth: Magic ... Holy water.
Brennan: The terminology makes it real?

Booth: As a friend of mine likes to say, don't jump to conclusions until all the evidence is in.
Brennan: If the facts are in then it's not jumping to conclusions, so I never said that.
Booth: I never said that the friend is you.

Brennan: Why didn't you just, just tell them about Kennedy?
Booth: You know, I needed to give you time to find me. I've been tortured worse.

Booth: This here, °Holds up a picture to Bones° This here is uh, Hugh Kennedy, uh, I think he killed Cement Head.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Well, West Virginia, likes to use an ice pick on his victims, plus Ice Pick and Cement Head were both employed by a regional crime boss in West Virginia named…Gallagher.
Brennan: Well, what are we going to call him?
Booth: Gallagher.

Booth: Did you talk to your dad at all before you called the cops?
Brennan: No, why would I?
Booth: Well, you know I haven’t seen my dad in a long time, and if I had the opportunity to –°grabs his jaw in pain° ah, ow!
Brennan: °insistent° Go to a dentist.
Booth: I will, if it doesn’t get any better.

Booth: Angela did a facial reconstruction of Cement Head.
Brennan: Concrete Head, you mean.
Booth: No, Cement Head, it’s got a nicer ring.

Booth: So, you ever been here before?
Brennan: No.
Booth: I don’t mean here, here, I mean Baltimore?
Brennan: Yeah, I’ve given several lectures to the Baltimore Homicide Division.
Booth: °Grabs his mouth in pain° Ah, gah, oww!
Brennan: What’s wrong with your mouth?
Booth: I’ve got a tooth situation.
Brennan: Go to a dentist.
Booth: I will, if it doesn’t get any better.
Brennan: Are you afraid of the dentist?
Booth: I’m not afraid-

Booth: You know your father never killed any hard-working-tax-paying citizens or honest cops.
Brennan: You still think that society should forgive him.
Booth: No, all I’m saying is that if I have an opportunity to arrest him, I will, but you know who maybe should forgive him? His daughter.

Booth: °talking about Bones' Dad° You know, in the Old West he would have been considered a hero.
Brennan: °holding Booth's head, and looking inside Booth’s mouth° Yeah, well the Old West was a time of chaos and violence, that anthropologically speaking, our country is still trying to recover from.

Brennan: No, it's concrete, cement is an ingredient in concrete.
Booth: Yeah, that's a real important distinction to make at this juncture. So, what have we got Bones, do your thing.
Brennan: °she bends over and looks down at the hole and quickly stands back up° Nothing.
Booth: Nothing. Nothing?
Brennan: Yeah, I can't see enough of the skull, the tibia, the pubis ... nothing. °she takes off her glove and starts walking back to the Chevy°
Booth: °follows her° Nothing, wait a second, nothing, °talking to the cop as he continues after Bones° sorry, °turning his attention back to Bones° you mean we drove all the way here so you could just tell me nothing. Alright, so what, uh, what do you want me to, uh, get the whole slab of cement, uh-
Brennan: Concrete-
Booth: Concrete shipped back to the Jeffersonian?
Brennan: Yes, yes!

Brennan: I bet if you told the agency you're going to identify Colonel Howard to the press they'd be a little more cooperative.
Booth: Yeah. You know, I've been a wonderful influence on you.
Brennan: Actually I learned that move from Cam.

Booth: You ate yet?
Brennan: I said I’d wait…how did you know that James would tell me?
Booth: Well, man loves his wife. May not be strong but, he has a conscience.
Brennan: See, I…I can’t tell that stuff.
Booth: And I can’t tell the difference between coral and bone, so, guess we make a great pair. °rushing° Hey, speaking of marriage, Hodgins is going to propose to Angela tonight.
Brennan: Hmm.
Booth: What?
Brennan: I guess right now it looks to me like marriage is having someone who’ll slap your enemies and then toss their dead bodies out of airplanes.
Booth: Try not to mention that to Angela.

Booth: No, I didn’t vomit! I’m sure they were trying.
Brennan: °enthusiastically° They can try me anytime. It was truly amazing!
Booth: You had a little too much fun, okay?

Booth: The warrant includes anything that happens to be in plain sight.
Brennan: Plane sight. °chuckles° get it, it's a pun.

Brennan: Best guess right now, a broad sword.
Booth: Broadsword, like King Arthur?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: Broadsword, you know what Bones, I like the whole alien thing much better. Broadsword?! Where do you people come up with this stuff.

Brennan: Maybe, it wasn't a UFO that Cal saw. He could have seen something else.
Booth: °sarcastically° Oh, yeah, like a Death Beam, or a Space Baby.
Brennan: I was thinking more along the lines of spy satellite or experimental technology. You know, maybe the Agency was afraid Cal's sharing sensitive information with the STC.
Booth: Regardless, our government does not kill people, okay Bones?
Brennan: °scoffs° You were a sniper. Wasn't it our Government who sent you to kill people? °Booth looks at her a little hurt° Just saying.

Booth: Hey, Bones, I ran a check on the STC, okay they're a part of the Tin Foil Hat Squad.
Brennan: What's that?
Booth: °sarcastically° They wear tin little hats, probably to keep the aliens from controlling their minds.
Brennan: Oh, schizophrenics.

Brennan: The zero g?
Booth: The Vomit Comet!

Booth: Makes you feel small doesn't it.
Brennan: Because the picture is so big?
Booth: No, because the universe is so big.
Brennan: You're not looking at the universe. You are looking at an enlarged photograph of Earth.
Booth: Okay, well, you see one thing and I see another thing, personally I like what I see.

Booth: Wait, does that add up to the right amount of bone rot?
Brennan: Loss, bone loss, and... yes!

Booth: So, we're gonna go with the theory that this was once human.
Brennan: I've never read about an alien encounter in which the aliens wore loafers.
Booth: How much you wanna bet Hodgins has?

Brennan: We do this all the time, you know, I should be used to it. It shouldn't bother me.
Booth: No, it should. °looks at her for a while° Was she really gonna teach you how to cook?
Brennan: Yeah. I've always understood the basics of cooking, the physics of it, but Carlie said she was going to show me what it was really about. To her, she said, it was a way of ... well, she said loving, but then, she was prone to hyperbole.
Booth: Well, hey, I mean, that's what family dinners are all about, right? Those are some of my, my best memories.

Booth: You know, you should let me help.
Brennan: No, cleaning up, you can do that. °brings over a hot plate of the famous macaroni°
Booth: °sarcastically° Great- °shocked and giddy° Wow, hee hee, mac and cheese, wow, Bones, this looks fantastic.
Brennan: Yeah, really?
Booth: Yeah, I mean, you-you shouldn't have done all this work just for me.
Brennan: No, I mean, it wasn't that much.
Booth: °takes a bite° Mmm, this is unbelievable.
Brennan: You like it?
Booth: I'd like to be alone with it. °they both chuckle°
Brennan: She told me I could go with my instincts, so I put in a little fresh-ground nutmeg.
Booth: Well, she taught you well. °really blown away° Thanks Bones.
Brennan: °brushing it off° Yeah, well, you know, you have to eat right?
Booth: Yeah, gotta eat, always gotta eat.

Brennan: I am not as cold as everyone thinks, Booth.
Booth: Okay, that was a leap.
Brennan: Just because I think marriage is an antiquated ritual doesn't mean that I don't want Angela and Hodgins to be happy. I have an appreciation and a need for emotional and physical intercourse, just like you.
Booth: °slightly uncomfortable° Yeah, sure, I mean, okay, good for you with that.
Brennan: Did I make you uncomfortable?
Booth: No, not at all, I just want to focus, let's just focus on the case.
Brennan: I did make you uncomfortable.

Booth: How'd you get in?
Brennan: I'm a best selling author, Booth, I get in anywhere.

Booth: °after they confirm there is no radiation° Why is she glowing?
Brennan: I have no idea, no idea at all.

Brennan: You know, Angela turned down Hodgins again.
Booth: What?
Brennan: Hodgins proposed, Angela turned him down.
Booth: You really want to talk about that now?
Brennan: Why not? There's been no confirmation of danger yet.
Booth: It's just, you know, weird, you know, talking about, uh, marriage when we're trying to avoid radiation poisoning.
Brennan: No, what's weird is Angela thinking about marriage at all.
Booth: People fall in love and they get married. That's what people do.
Brennan: Thought you didn't want to talk about it.
Booth: Well, I'm just saying... you believe in love don't you?
Brennan: I believe that dopamine and norepinephrine stimulate euphoria because of certain biological triggers, like scent, symmetrical features...
Booth: °sarcastically° Symmetrical features?
Brennan: Yeah, it's an indication of a good breeder. You appear to be a very good breeder.
HSG: °chuckles° How long have you two been going out?
Booth & Brennan: We're...°they turn to look at each other and smack their anti-radiation suits together°
Brennan: We're partners... that's it.
Booth: Partners.
HSG: Me and my partner talk baseball.
Booth: °Bones walks away° You may not want to admit it, Bones, but there's some things, like love, that just can't be measured in your lab.

Booth: Listen. I, I'm sorry I had to arrest your father.
Brennan: We don't have to talk about that right now. You did what you had to do, I understand.
Booth: Yeah, but ... °they arrive at the end of the aisle and separate to different sides° Bones.
Brennan: What?
Booth: He could have gotten away.
Brennan: What?
Booth: We got into a fight, you see, and your Dad could have escaped capture.
Brennan: So, he beat you in a fight.
Booth: °starts walking towards her° No, I didn't say that.
Brennan: You beat him, but gave him a chance to get away.
Booth: No, I didn't say that.
°they're now standing close to each other, where the bride and groom are supposed to stand°
Brennan: Well, I don't see any other alternatives.
Booth: No, Bones, your father chose to be arrested because he felt if he abandoned you again, he would lose you forever. °Bones looks at him with much emotion° Just thought you should know.
Bones: °pauses, and then suddenly hugs Booth° Thanks Booth.
Angela: Harrumph! Sorry. °Booth and Bones loosen their hug reluctantly and look at Angela without releasing each other° I'd like to get married now.

Brennan: He ran out on me, and Russ. He robbed people, he's a murderer. He got my mother killed. You know, how does he expect me to °she has a hard time finding words° ...
Booth: It's hard to trust someone who's abandoned you. Especially a parent.
Brennan: Am I ... am I terrible for not, wanting to let myself care about my own father?
Booth: Look, Bones, your father's going to do something tomorrow that's going to hurt you, how do you forgive that?
Brennan: I'm not a bad daughter? Bad person?
Booth: °smiles at her reassuringly° You're not a bad anything.

Brennan: Do you like your father?
Booth: I love my father.
Brennan: I think I love my father.
Booth: Well, that’s normal.

Brennan: °talking about an X-ray film° Do you know what you are looking at?
Booth: °a little confused° The neck bone… .it’s connected to the shoulder bone. °Bones chuckles°

Booth: °stepping in muck at the crime scene° Oh! Whoa, whoa!
Brennan: Whoa, should have worn gum boots.
Booth: I'm fine, you know, I'm… I'm agile.

Brennan: I'd like to marry you.
Booth: It's kinda sudden, Bones, let me think about it.
Brennan No, Booth, that's what Angela °Booth starts laughing° told Hodgins. °Booth continues to laugh; Bones realizes what Booth means° You're joking, you know, a lot of psychologists say that jokes are the way we manifest our hidden desires. °Booth, shocked, steps in a big puddle°

Booth: When I put your old man in jail, you said you understood.
Brennan: Don't start again Booth, we'll be together as soon as I replace Zack.

Brennan: A cannibalistic violin thief who eats faces?
Booth: Yeah, that's a stretch, but uh, see how this is, us working together, very symbiotic.
Brennan: You said that already, what is it, the word of the day?

Booth: This is good, first time you've called me in weeks!
Brennan: There's scoring on the skull.
Booth: Scoring?
Brennan: Yes, scrapes.
Booth: Yeah, I know what scoring means.
Brennan: The scraping is uniform in scraping, but not in depth, which suggests an ungual pattern.
Booth: What's an uncle pattern?
Brennan: No, ungual, g-uh g-uh, ungual.

Booth: So, what, it's been three months since Zack shipped off to Iraq?
Brennan: Yeah.
Booth: How hard could it be to replace him?
Brennan: °ignores him and examines the skull in the windshield° Male, Caucasian.
Booth: You know, I'm just saying, I mean, you in the lab, me in the field, we are not working at our full symbiotic potential.
Brennan: Late teens early twenties, completely devoid of flesh or odor.
Booth: °taps windshield with his pen° It just seems like, maybe you don't wanna work with me anymore.

Brennan: I'm curious... in an explosion, how would shutting your eyes help?
Booth: Uh? It just... it does, okay?

Brennan: What's funny?
Booth: I thought you were gonna kiss my hand again.
Brennan: I did not kiss your hand! You put it over my coffee cup.
°Booth coughs°
Booth: Felt like you kissed it.
Brennan: No.
Booth: Felt like it.
Brennan: No.

Booth: There's something else I gotta know and it's important. We solid?
Brennan: You and me? Yeah.
Booth: No, not just you and me, the squints, too. Zack is back for good, Angela and Hodgins have their head back in the game, Cam, she's locked in.
Brennan: Why are you asking me this?
Booth: Because, you and me, we're the center.
Brennan: And the center must hold.
Booth: Right. So, are we gonna hold?
Brennan: Yeah, we'll hold. We're the center.
Booth: The center.

Brennan: I'd like to be in on it when you interrogate him. °Booth looks at her in happy disbelief° What?
Booth: You would?
Brennan: Why are you surprised?
Booth: Wait, are you serious? I've been trying to get you out of the lab since Zack left.
Brennan: Well, Zack's back so here I am.
Booth: That simple?
Brennan: Why? Did Angela say something to you?
Booth: No. Angela, why? What?
Brennan: I told you this isn't about psychology.
Booth: Fine, fine. °tripping joyfully to the door of his office° Hey, you know what I say huh, welcome home Zack!

Booth: °After staring at Bones for a while° No, you weren't upset because Zack was gone.
Brennan: Yes I was!
Booth: Ok, yeah, but you were more upset over the fact that I didn't stop him from going in the first place. I mean, look, I could have said to him "Zack, Iraq is no place for a guy like you".
Brennan: And he'd never have left. You could have stopped him. Why didn't you do that?
Booth: Whatever Zack's deal is, ok, his weirdness, whatever you wanna call it...
Brennan: I call it genius.
Booth: You know, he's a man, he's a, ahm, he's a strange man but he's a man, who wanted to serve a larger purpose.
Brennan: This is some alpha male rite of passage?
Booth: No.
Brennan: You mean go to war?
Booth: Wrong, no. Zack needed to leave the nest the same way you did when you wanted to leave the lab and see the world for the first time. And I helped you do that. How could I stop Zack from doing the exact same thing in his own way?

Brennan: There's a phrase in ancient Greek burned into the back of the vault door.
Booth: Well, what's it say?
Brennan: I don't know, it's in ancient Greek.

Brennan: °after Booth knocks her to the ground, thinking that a bomb was going to go off.° Why are your eyes closed?
Booth: I thought we were going to get blown up.
Brennan: °looks up° ... It's just a transmitter...

Brennan: How much scotch did you drink?
Booth: Oh, just enough. You know, I would have invited you but Reilly, he just...wow, he doesn't like you.
Brennan: I understand.
Booth: I'm sorry, was that rude?
Brennan: Not from someone who's been drinking.
Booth: God, you know, I love this place. I love it, I love this country. You know, I'll tell you something, if I was working law enforcement back in the day when it threw all that tea, alright, in the harbor - I'm good, I'm good. I would have rounded everybody up and we'd still be English.
Brennan: °smiling° You think?

Brennan: I saw my father.
Booth: Wow, I didn't think that you were gonna, do that.
Brennan: As an anthropologist I accept change as the natural order of things but, with him I didn't allow for transformation. You know, I predicated his behavior based on a set of outmoded preconceptions. It wasn't rational.
Booth: Wow, I, I didn't get any of that.
Brennan: If I was conducting an objective experiment on my father, observing his behavior, I'd have to conclude that he loves me.
Booth: Hm. Why, what happened?
Brennan: We played cards.
Booth: Cool.
Brennan: I killed him.
Booth: °laughing° Good for you.

Brennan: °about her dad, Max° He wanted me to testify on his behalf. He just wants to use me.
Booth: Well, he’s a conman, Bones. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. He’s just looking for a little payback.
Brennan: Payback?
Booth: Yeah, he’s thinking he got arrested so he could spend some more time with you. I mean, you could at least return the favor by doing something nice for him.
Brennan: I’m not sure I want a father who’s always keeping score.
Booth: Yeah. Sounds like you are, too.
Brennan: You know what? You’re right. This is none of your business.
Booth: You know what Bones? You’re never gonna forgive yourself if you don’t cut the guy some slack just because you’re afraid to get hurt.

Booth: How's your Dad? You haven't mentioned him.
Brennan: Apparently his feet hurt.
Booth: You know, I mean his spirits.
Brennan: He's a conman, Booth, he's always cheerful.

Booth: Caroline went through a lot of trouble to get you private visitation with your father and now you don't want it.
Brennan: The Federal Detention facility already has visiting areas.
Booth: Yeah, behind two inch glass, I mean, now you'll be able to give your old man, you know, a hug. °He hugs her from the side as they are walking°
Brennan: I didn't ask for special treatment, Booth.
Booth: That's because you don't have to, because you are special.

Booth: Hey.
Brennan: Hay...is for horses.
Booth: °chuckling° Hey, that's funny, Bones.
Brennan: I found it on this website about horses.
Booth: Yeah?
Brennan: Where do horses stay... in a hotel?
Booth: Bridle suite.
Brennan: That's correct.

Brennan: Whoa! You are strong!
Booth: Oh, you know, I try to stay in shape, °mimics Bones' threat° "Stop or I'll kick you in the testicles?"
Brennan: It worked.
Booth: Tell you what, you and me, we're gonna work on the cop talk.

Brennan: Why are you being so judgmental?
Booth: When you turn someone into an object of sexual pleasure, it's wrong.
Brennan: How do you know?
Booth: It says in the Bible.
Brennan: Does not.
Booth: Then it got left out by mistake.

Booth: Here we are. All of us, basically alone, separate creatures just circling each other. All searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places, some, they just give up hope because in their mind they're thinking, “Oh, there’s nobody out there for me.” But all of us, we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while, every once in a while two people meet and there’s that spark. And yes Bones, he’s handsome and she’s beautiful and maybe that’s all they see at first, but making love? Making love, that’s when two people become one.
Brennan: °awestruck° It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
Booth: Yeah, but what’s important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
Booth: Yeah, Bones, a miracle. Those people, role playing and their fetishes and their little sex games, it’s crappy sex. You know, at least compared to the real thing.
Brennan: °after looking at Booth thoughtfully for a while° You’re right.
Booth: Yeah, but - Wait a second, I just won that argument?
Brennan: Yup. °they both smile°

Booth: What's this with all the lying? We've got voice tapes and public display of sexual paraphernalia?
Brennan: I was role playing. I was being all lard ass and good cop.
Booth: Hard ass and bad cop, Bones. Hard ass, and bad cop.

Booth: Aristotle also thought that the purpose of the human heart was to solve math problems.
Brennan: I'm surprised, you know that?
Booth: Turns out I'm smarter than a 5th grader.

Brennan: Giddy-up.
Booth: Yeah... um, do-don't say that.

Booth: Just saying the guy had a point. If pesticides are so bad for us, then how come people live longer now than they did before they, used pesticides?
Brennan: You're oversimplifying an enormously complex issue.
Booth: °laughs° Meaning you don't have a good answer.

Brennan: Look at all the cars. I thought the VA hospital was closed.
Booth: Well it is Bones, but I mean c'mon, it's the weekend, alright? An abandoned building surrounded by acres of, secluded land, huh? Use your imagination.
Brennan: °looks confused°
Booth: Teenagers, hormones...
Brennan: You're saying they're here to fornicate.
Booth: That's... nice image. Very uh, biblical.

Booth: I bet Sweets was picked on all through school.
Brennan: And that's relevant now why?
Booth: You're kidding me, right? Scrawny kid like that sees me coming, a former jock and he's thinking to himself "Time for a little payback," you know? Make him fill out all this stupid forms, threatens to take my partner away from me.

Booth: Hey, is that the test from Dr. Sweets?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: Well what did you put for number seven? Because I put twelve to fifteen times a day and now I'm thinkin', I really misunderstood the question.
Brennan: °hiding the test from him° We're not supposed to discuss our answers.
Booth: Come on, Bones. Teacher's not in the room, let me see.
Brennan: Is this how you got through school, Booth?
Booth: No! Well, maybe algebra.

°Booth and Brennan in his car with Angela in the backseat°
Brennan: You're grasping at straws, Booth. We should wait for more information.
Booth: Has to be somebody in the composting facility. Ah, they have pitch forks to turn the heaps, don't they?
Brennan: Pitch forks are used on every farm in the area.
Booth: But not bio-diesel, okay? The owner, Gavin, said he just replaces a fuel pump in his truck when he switched to bio-diesel.
Brennan: One of the other farmers also said that he just switched and he has a key. He could have dumped the body in the middle of the night.
Booth: I'm sorry, but whose side are you on here? °he raises his finger to stop her from answering° Ah, don't say the facts, because that just annoys me. °Angela is chuckling in the back°
Brennan: You want us to base our actions on your gut, again?
Booth: Yes. You have your shiny machines, I have my gut.
Angela: Is it always like this when you two are together?
°Booth and Brennan answer simultaneously°
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: No.
Angela: It's kinda hot.

Booth: Okay, don't take it so hard.
Brennan: I'm not taking anything hard. What are we? Russian?
Booth: Na zdorovje! °they drink° I tell you what else I know. What you're taking hard, is the fact that, it happened in your house.
Brennan: It's not my house!
Booth: Not where you sleep! Okay...your favorite place, the house of reason, the Jeffersonian.
Brennan: Oh. It's not my favorite place.
Booth: Yes it is.
Brennan: What? No it's n-how do you know?
Booth: Daffodil, daisy, Jupiter. Okay I'll tell you what else I know. °he fills the cups° You were hoping that it was Gorgonzola.
Brennan: Gormogon!
Booth: Ah! So you admit it!
Brennan: Ah-but accidentally...does...does that count?
Booth: Yes.

Booth: °after accessing some files with Cam's password; to Brennan° I know your password too. It's daffodil.
Brennan: I never told you that! Brennan: °after finishing the search° And I'm changing my password.
Booth: Daisy.
Brennan: How did you know?
Booth: It's your second favorite flower, I know you Bones. Try a planet! °after Bones enters another password; as he's walking away° Jupiter!
°Bones is shocked°

Brennan: I'm offended, because...because I...
Booth: Because you were betrayed by one of your own.
Brennan: Yes. Are you going to betray me?
Booth: No.

Booth: There was this girl Karen Isley, and we were under the bleachers one night... personally.
Brennan: I got it. You were having sex in the dirt under the bleachers.
Booth: Excuse me, I'm a gentleman. I brought my sleeping bag.

Brennan: °giving back the Stinson's picture she took° I'm sorry. I had to borrow one of your pictures.
Booth: You stole that.

Booth: Evolution is a long, long process. It takes hundreds of years.
Brennan: Thousands.
Booth: Why do you have to always correct me?
Brennan: To help you evolve.

Brennan: Okay, this is a story about sexual prowess, Booth. You're bragging.
Booth: °laughing° I had to run across the campus butt naked.
Brennan: You-you're, laughing about it now. You enjoyed displaying your penis, it showed alpha male mastery. Only one other person knew about Brainy Smurf, it was my mother.
Booth: It's cold! Okay, it was cold. Do you know what happens to a guy when it is cold... outside?

Brennan: What is that?
Booth: Nothing.
Brennan: Well, you've evolved, and evolution is very impressive and that is definitely not nothing.
Booth: This? °showing a Smurf figurine°
Brennan: Did you bring that for me?
Booth: No.
Brennan: Good, because it's a wrong Smurf, I liked Smurfette and you bring me a Brainy Smurf.
Booth: Smurfette is a stupid, shallow Smurf who only had her looks. Look you're better than Smurfette, you have your looks, and a whole lot more.
Brennan: You did bring that for me. To charm me in case I didn't find your humiliation so impressive. But I did.
Booth: Aha, so, I did impress you.
Brennan: That's what impressive means, dummy.

Booth: °as Brennan prepares the skeleton in the vault° Shhh ...
Brennan: What?
Booth: You don't have to scream in here.
Brennan: Right...

Brennan: Thank you Booth.
Booth: Oh, this never happened don't thank me, as far as the Bureau is concerned, I caught him here, 15 minutes from now.
Brennan: °kisses Booth's cheek° Thank you, Booth.
Booth: Just don't tell anyone.

Brennan: I have a question.
Booth: No, you can't drive. We're under cover and I'm the taxi driver.
Brennan: Passengers don't sit in the front seat.
Booth: You're not a passenger, 'kay? You're a trainee and I'm training you how to drive a taxi cab.

Brennan: If we fool them into thinking that we're transferring the sculpture, he might try to grab it.
Booth: No.
Brennan: No, if he wants it as much as Sweets say then he'll try to steal it!
Booth: No.
Brennan: Why not?
Booth: Because I didn't think of it.

Brennan: °about the Santas° We have to sniff their behinds.
Booth: We have to sniff... °pauses, confused° You lost me there.

Brennan: My father is a murderer and a thief.
Booth: Well, murderers and thieves, they get Christmas too, in fact it's kinda the point.
Brennan: Well, I have other plans.
Booth: Well, whatever they are skeletons and Christmas do not mix.
Brennan: That's exactly what my father said.

Bones: You love Christmas.
Booth: I love it, you know, when I have Parker. But this year he's going skiing in Vermont with Rebecca and "Captain Fantastic".
Bones: Who's Captain Fantastic?
Booth: It's her boyfriend, commands a Coast Guard cutter.
Bones: His last name isn't literally Fantastic is it?
Booth Might as well be.

Booth: Christmas is about making the impossible happen.
Brennan: You mean, like you spending Christmas with Parker?
Booth: Okay, you know what? That hurt. Wake me up when the Squint Squad finds out something.

Brennan: I'm only telling you out of professional courtesy.
Booth: What?
Brennan: So that you won't be surprised.
Booth: Yeah but when you say kiss you mean like, kiss kiss on both cheeks?
Brennan: No the lips.

Brennan: °to Sweets° I have a crisis.
Booth: °whispering° Bones it was just mistletoe.
Brennan: Not the kiss. That was nothing.
Sweets: You kissed?
Booth: Mistletoe.
Brennan: That's not the crisis.
Sweets: Was there tongue?
Booth: All right, you know what? Get your own sex life-
Brennan: Wh-that has nothing to do with sex.
Booth: Nothing.
Brennan: No.
Booth: There was no... it was... mistletoe.
Brennan: Totally sexless.

Brennan: °right after kissing Booth° Was that enough steamboats?
Caroline: °astonished° Plenty. A whole flotilla.
Booth: I don't know what that means but um... Merry Christmas. °to Bones° Oh, and thanks for the gum.

Booth: You know you can play the field ... and not plough it.
Brennan: That was distasteful.

Brennan: Serious as a gas attack.
Booth: Heart attack, Bones! Serious as a heart attack.

Booth: °trying to cheer up Sweets° Hey, you know what Sweets? Bones and I, we're going bowling tonight!
Brennan: Yes, yes, bowling! You know what, you wanna come with us? To go bowling, at the bowling rink?
Booth: Alley.
Brennan: Bowling alley. The bowling alley?

April: She's funny.
Brennan: I am? Wha– ? Why is that funny?
Booth: I don't think she meant that literally, Bones.
Brennan: Oh.

Booth: What a shock for that couple. I mean, they slide naked into the, hot mudbath and a skeleton hand pokes her in the, you know -
Brennan: Anus.
Booth: Bones!
Brennan: What? It's a clinical term for that part of the body, Booth.
Sweets: Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth. Would it be fair to say that you use work to avoid confronting personal issues?
Booth: Why? Because I don't wanna talk about, you know.
Brennan: The anus.
Booth: You really like that word, don't you?
Sweets: Do you two ever discuss anything that's not attached to work?
Booth: Well, it's better than talking about, you know.
Sweets: The anus?
Booth: What is it with you two?

Brennan: Sweets could be right. I mean, we talk a lot about work.
Booth: I talk about my kid.
Sweets: Because he was almost kidnapped during a case.
Brennan: Uh, my father. We talk about him.
Sweets: Because Agent Booth arrested him for murder.
Booth: Okay, what are you trying to get at here?
Sweets: Your inability to share your personal lives. I thought that was obvious.
Booth: Okay, that was snotty. I don't respond well to snotty.

Brennan: After a case, sometimes we have a drink, or coffee. Booth has pie, I don't like pie.
Booth: You really should just ... give it a chance.
Brennan: I find it too sweet.
Booth: Okay, there! We talked about pie. Nothing to do with work.
Brennan: It ... is better when we discuss murder.
Sweets: I'd like to see you guys in a social situation. A situation where work is a taboo subject.
Booth: What, are you gonna send us to a restaurant and watch us through a one-way mirror?
Brennan: I'm still not having pie.
Sweets: No, an evening out with my girlfriend and me.
Booth: °laughs, then turns to Brennan° They need someone to buy them beer.
Brennan: You want us to go on a double date?
Booth: Listen, why don't you just go on the Internet like all the rest of the kids.
Sweets: Okay, if it goes well I'll withdraw my concern. I'll release you back into your environment.
Booth: What are we, brook trout?

Brennan: Is she crying because she loved him, or because she lost a mansion?
Booth: °mouths° The mansion.

Brennan: I thought you said you were just going to talk to him!
Booth: Yeah, well I saw his face and I got mad.

Booth: Hey. You know, last time I was under the bleachers I was uh, getting ready to smoke a cigarette and make out with Vanessa Taylor.
Brennan: I didn't know you smoked.
Booth: Eighth grade Bones, come on didn't you ever get naughty with a jock under the bleachers?
Brennan: You were a jock?
Booth: You know you had to be one if you wanted to make out with Vanessa Taylor.

Brennan: Anthropologically speaking sports are just a way for boys to practice their battle skills.
Booth: Yeah okay.

Brennan: Meg had a number of bone conditions that would have caused chronic pain but she wasn't taking any pain medication.
Booth: Probably 'cause she didn't want it affecting her, you know ... her supply.
Brennan: What, you mean her breastmilk? You know, you can say the word breast, Booth.
Booth: Yeah, I know, Bones.
Brennan: Didn't Rebecca breastfeed Parker?
Booth: You know, I am not discussing that with you.
Brennan: Would "teat" make you feel more comfortable?
Booth: I'm not talking teats with you.
Brennan: Why not?
Booth: Enough!

°Andy is crying°
Brennan: Hey! Look at that! He flipped over!
Booth: Bones! That's because you've got to watch him! Geez! Okay whoa!

Booth: °about the baby° Oh look at him Bones, he looks a little fussy there why don't you pick him up and give him a cuddle?
Brennan: What?! Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants. You're the one with a son.

Brennan: What do you know about the Cayman Islands?
Booth: Great diving, you know lots of sea turtles. Why, are you going?
Brennan: No, my accountant wants me to set up a tax shelter there.
Booth: Tax shelter?
Brennan: Yeah.
Booth: Exactly how loaded are you?
Brennan: Well that is an offensive way to phrase the question but... quite loaded.

Booth: °hearing Andy crying over the baby monitor° Are you gonna get him?
Brennan: I figured you'd get him.
Booth: Don't you have responsibility under state law?
Brennan: But you're the baby daddy.
Booth: Baby daddy?
Brennan: You have prior experience with pre-verbal infancy.
Angela: °coming in with Andy° Okay, you two better get your act together or I'm suing for custody.

Booth: You know, you look very, uh, mom-like with that baby monitor.
Brennan: I have responsibilities under state law as a foster parent. I've already bought him toys and clothes.
Booth: Ah, so you bought him some clothes.
Brennan: Well, I sent an intern who apparently loves bears, which in reality would devour a small child.

Booth: Looks like our little guy's gonna be just fine.
°Bones looks at him°
Booth: The little guy.
Brennan: Andy.
Booth: Andy's gonna be just fine.

Brennan: I have a way to lodge reasonable doubt in the jury.
Booth: We can't talk about this!
Brennan: Please? You're the person I talk to about things like this.
Booth: No perjury involved. °Brennan shakes her head° Just an interpretation of existing facts.
Brennan: An alternate story.
Booth: You don't know that he did it, you know. Your old man.
Brennan: We both know he did it.
Booth: No, not that way you define 'know,' with the proof and all that.
Brennan: It's going to be enough for the jury.
Booth: Juries are the human factor in a trial, alright? You never know what they'll do.
Brennan: You think it's alright for me to take advantage of that?
Booth: Brain and heart, Bones. Brain and heart.

Sweets: Dr. Brennan, everyone you work with, including your therapist ...
Booth: Former therapist.
Sweets: ... is endeavoring to imprison your father. That's wicked stressful.
Brennan: Booth is right. It doesn't bother me.
Sweets: No, Booth is wrong. Yes, it does.

Booth: Tell you what, why don't we make a deal where we allow him to study us and in return he gives us psychological profiling on demand.
Sweets: Okay.
Brennan: No, you like that sort of thing, but I don't see the point.
Booth: I just think that he doesn't want to admit that he likes us.
Brennan: Do you liiike us?
Sweets: What?
Booth: And he wants to spend time with us.
Brennan: Is that true Sweets? You like us?
Sweets: No.
Booth: He wants to spend time with us.
Booth and Brennan: °sing-song° He really likes us.
Sweets: Alright, you know what, I'm sorry I made the offer, I take it back, forget it. °walks off°

Brennan: I didn't see Angela today.
Booth: Angela refuses to testify.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Probably because she's your best friend.
Brennan: You're my friend and you don't mind.
Booth: I mind. We all mind. Except for Zack.
Brennan: In that case Zack is the only one who's thinking clearly. I had to give Hodgins permission. I don't know what's wrong with everyone.
Booth: It's not what's wrong Bones, it's what's right.

Brennan: Psst. °sits next to Booth°
Sweets: °approaching Booth and Bones° I'm writing a book. Taking a clinical approach to efficacy and focused outcomes. You shouldn't work well together, but you do, I'd like to study it further.
Booth: °to Bones° I don't get it.
Brennan: °to Booth° He wants to study us.
Sweets: Once a week. Nothing changes.
Booth: °to Bones° Now why would we want to do that?
Brennan: °shrugs; to Booth° I can't think of a good reason.
Sweets: Okay. See. That thing that you do when you talk to each other while excluding the third party, namely me. It's an adaptive mechanism. For, uh, disparate entities to bond together against their own individual impotences to dissociate. It's, um ... It's what ...
Booth: °to Bones° What's that mean for us?
Brennan: °to Booth° Nothing useful.

Brennan: °seeing a skeleton formed into a circular shape° How could this happen?
Booth: Um, maybe he was rolled up in a carpet.
Brennan: Where's the carpet?
Booth: Well it rotted away you know with the, meaty parts. °Bones laughs°

Booth: You're not Doctor Brennan today, you're Temperance.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: The scientist part of you got sidelined. Temporarily.
Brennan: I, still don't know what that means.
Booth: Bones, just take the brain okay and put it in neutral. Alright, take the heart and pop it into overdrive.
°Booth leans back in his chair and starts making racing car sounds.°
Brennan: Sometimes I think you're from another planet. °pauses° Sometimes I think you're really nice.

Brennan: ... you are a superb agent.
Booth: You think?
Brennan: Yeah, of course. Since I am the best in my field, it would be self-destructive for me to work with someone who's beneath me.
Booth: Oh, okay ... well, that's good, 'cause, you know, I have to be honest here. Sometimes I think you feel that you're better than me.
Brennan: Well, objectively I'm more intelligent ...
Booth: There we go ...
Brennan: ... in certain areas, and in others I understand my limitations and I admire your expertise.
Booth: Oh. You admire me?
Brennan: In certain areas of expertise.
Booth: Well, I admire your expertise. You know, the whole science thing.
Brennan: Thank you. I'm an author too.
Booth: I know.
Brennan: Best-selling, that also gives me an elevated status.
Booth: Here goes the ego.
Brennan: No, I'm not saying that society's correct to elevate me, I'm not saying that I deserve the elevation, I'm just saying that it occurs. Society should elevate scholars and teachers, not actors and athletes.
Booth: Yeah, what about cops?
Brennan: Yeah, they're very important.

Booth: °about the people at the gym° These people here are just trying to be healthy, Bones.
Brennan: There is a fine line between health and vanity.

Brennan: How does a former sniper have a grass allergy? Wouldn't a sneeze give away your position?
Booth: Bones, okay, I worked in the desert. Sand, no grass.

Brennan: The guitar string could definitely be the murder weapon.
Booth: 'Cause it cut the cheese?

Brennan: Until I was thirteen I wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper.
Booth: I'd say you're kidding but I don't think you know how to kid.
Brennan: The other girls and I referred to her as rad. °laughs° My mother said I sang just as well.
Booth: As well as Cyndi Lauper?
Brennan: Yes.
Sweets: Mothers do that. It's healthy.
Brennan: No it wasn't just flattery. My mother told me I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" better than she did. °Booth Laughs°
Sweets: It was an expression of affection, Dr. Brennan. Not an objective evaluation of your abilities.
Brennan: Well, I think you're wrong.
Booth: Okay then, go ahead, belt it out.
Brennan: No!
Sweets: Yeah, come on give us a few bars.
Booth: Come on...
Brennan: I can't just burst into song. I have to have music and an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.
Booth: Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, better than Cyndi Lauper...

Brennan: °watching an amateur sing° This guy is good.
Booth: Thank you, Paula... just focus here.

Brennan: Well Dr. Sweets still thinks she's the killer.
Sweets: Dangerous. I think she's dangerous.
Booth: I agree.
Sweets: Thank you Agent Booth.
Booth: All those gifts, and taking pictures from a distance and showing up in the middle of the night in a nightie is all very dangerous.

Booth: Everybody thinks they're the next Kelly Clarkson.
Brennan: Who's Kelly Clarkson?
Booth: American Idol... "Because of You"?
Brennan: Because of me?

Brennan: Hey! Break down the door!
Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door!

Booth: There's got to be other stuff going on here, right?
Sweets: What?
Booth: Transference, uh paranoia. Come on! I mean, when I offer her a piece of pie, you say it has deeper meaning!
Brennan: I don't like pie, Booth.
Booth: Apple pie. She doesn't like baked pie.
Brennan: I don't like my fruit cooked.
Sweets: Okay, changing the subject is a way to avoid your feelings.
Booth: My feelings? Okay, now you're attacking my feelings?

°Brennan barges in on Booth in his bathtub°
Brennan: I need to talk to you!
Booth: What the hell, Bones! I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did you get in here, anyway?
Brennan: Well that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: °looking sheepish° Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. Why are you ... ?
Brennan: And that cigar. Very unhealthy.
Booth: Ok, what the hell do you want now, Bones? Because I'm not really feeling too relaxed.

Booth: I gave a list of people to the Bureau to inform them that I was not really dead, you know? If they didn't tell you, it's not my fault.
Sweets: Dr. Brennan is actually upset because she had to face strong emotions that she'd rather deny. Striking Agent Booth indicated the depth of your feelings for him. It was a very passionate act.
Booth: Thank you! Did you hear that? Passion!
Brennan: Yes, passion, because anger is a passion. Anger at being manipulated!
Zack: Dr. Brennan ...
Booth: Aw, forget it!

Booth: Next time I die, I promise that I will tell you.
Brennan: I'll look forward to that.

Booth: °to Sweets° So go ahead tell her.
Sweets: Tell her what?
Brennan: Tell me what?
Booth: Tell her now?
Sweets: What?
Booth: Fine. I'll tell her. °to Brennan° Okay, I sent my list to the Bureau, they sent it to Sweets. °to Sweets° You were the one who decided not to tell Dr. Brennan that I was still alive. °to Brennan° He's the one you should have slugged. So do it. Go ahead, do it now.
Brennan: What? You chose not to tell me?
Sweets: Yes, it's true. Technically.
Booth: Technically?
Sweets: Okay, I reviewed the list, and I decided, knowing Dr. Brennan as I do, that she was in fact able to handle your death.
Booth: °to Bones° Slug him.
Sweets: It was a national security issue - the fewer people that knew Agent Booth was alive the safer he would be.
Brennan: °to Booth° I think that was a good choice.
Sweets: °relieved° Awesome.
Booth: You do?
Brennan: Yes. You knew that Booth's death was something I could deal with because it's something I can compartmentalize.
Booth: Whoa, wait a minute, now why are you mad at me then?
Brennan: Because you should have told me personally.
Booth: Oh, I should have just ignored national security concerns, broken the law, and told you.
Brennan: Yes.

Brennan: °about Zack° I never gave him anything.
Booth: °finds and reads Zack's letter of acceptance to be Brennan's grad student° I think you gave him something pretty great.

Booth: Bones broke into my house last night --
Brennan: There was a key!
Booth: ... All angry because nobody told her that I was dead. And I was just following protocol!
Sweets: Broke into your house?
Brennan: There was a key.
Booth: °talking over her° And barged into my bathroom.
Sweets: °laughing° What were you doing?
Brennan: He was drinking beer and reading a comic book.
Booth: I was taking a bath!
Sweets: You read comics and drink beer naked?
Booth: Wait a minute. Bones bursts into my bathroom, alright, and I'm weird for being naked?!

Brennan: You really think I'm special?
Booth: Of course I think you're special! Yes!

Booth: Okay, news bulletin for ya'. Bones, there is not a, guy in this country who wouldn't want to have sex with you. Probably half the gay men ...
Brennan: Are you being nice about me, or awful about British men?
Booth: Wexler is not special, you are.

Booth: Wow! Nice castle!
Brennan: No, castles were originally designed for military purposes to withstand attack. This... is more properly called a palace.

Booth: This is the weakest coffee I've ever had!
Brennan: Booth, that's tea.

Booth: Bones and I are the best crime solving team in America!
Brennan: Well... we're in England.

Booth: ... the boobies took me out for a beer last night.
Brennan: Bobbies, they're called bobbies.

Brennan: Agent Booth is the intuitive humanist, while I am the logical empiricist. Although recently I have seen how... destructive pure logic can be. My own assistant, the most... brilliant young man I've ever met ...
Booth: ... ended up a, a sidekick to a cannibalistic serial killer.
Brennan: I-I haven't invited you to join me Booth, so you could take your seat.

Booth: You know, I'm glad to be heading home, but I think America dropped too much of the uh, English stuff back in 1776.
Brennan: Like what?
Booth: Well, you know, like, uh, royalty.
Brennan: Meaningless title, no real power.
Booth: What, you never wanted to be a princess when you were a kid? °Brennan shakes her head° Even now? A castle, and moats, knights in shining armor. °Brennan shakes her head again°

Booth: °about Ian° There's no rule saying you can't call him. Although I got to tell you, a guy who doesn't want to talk to you just because you decide not to have sex with him, he can't be that great.
Brennan: What, in bed?
Booth: No, great guy.
Brennan: Oh, because I think Ian would be great in bed.

Booth: Oh God we're gonna need another
cab just for all your stuff.
Brennan: I was given lots of presents ... by the students at Oxford.
Booth: No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't touch that one.
Brennan: Why? What is it?
Booth: Why? Because your students gave you your gifts, the cops at Scotland Yard gave me a little somethin' somethin' for their appreciation. °shows her the gift° Huh?
Brennan: What is that?
Booth: It's a Bobblehead bobby.
Brennan: That's all you got?

Brennan: We should go before someone else gets killed.
Booth: Yeah, you're right. Here we go. My arm.
Brennan: Thank you. Thank you, Sir Seeley.
Booth: Pleasure, Lady Temperance.
Brennan: °laughs° You sound Australian.
Booth: That didn't sound Australian...

Booth: That guy is gay.
Brennan: He is not gay.
Booth: Please, double cheek kiss, tight Italian suit...
Sweets: Coldplay.
Booth: Never married...
Sweets: Coldplay.

Sweets: Does it seem that your partnership provides a surrogate relationship, making it more difficult to form other bonds?
Brennan: A surrogate relationship wouldn't necessarily be such a bad thing because then I could avoid the sting of rejection which, however fleeting... is still uncomfortable.
Booth: Right. Okay, look, I'm sorry, you know what, if Mark and Jason don't know how lucky they are, they don't deserve you in the first place.
Brennan: No, relationships are temporary.
Booth: No, that's not true, Bones, you're wrong. Okay, there is someone for everyone, someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. Alright, you just have to be open enough to see it... that's all.

Mark: Why don't we ever to a concert? As a matter of fact, we don't we ever leave your bedroom?
°Jason looks from Mark to Brennan°
Brennan: Um, can we talk about this later? We're about to arrest-
Jason: °about Mark° You're dating this guy?
Brennan: I don't like that term, it has an antiquated moral and needlessly restrictive connotation.
Mark: °to Jason° And who are you?
Jason: Obviously a guy who is not doing as well as you. °Booth looks satisfied°
Brennan: This is Jason, Jason - Mark, Mark - Jason. Please understand Jason, you're very good looking but sexual attraction is an involuntary hormonal response involving an increase in neutrofins and testosterone-
Mark: °looks at Jason° So you get to go out?
Brennan: Mark you are a strong and attentive man, but Jason is more stimulating, intellectually.
Jason: That's not the only way I can be stimulating.
Booth: Um... murderer?
Brennan: Murderer, yes.
Mark: °pointing at Booth° What do you do with this one Temperance?
Brennan: Oh, uhh... Booth is my partner that's all.
Booth: We should go.

Brennan: °commenting on one of the two guys she is dating simultaneously° He is a deep sea welder.
Booth: Whoa, wow, geez. I wouldn't even think to put that on the list.
Brennan: They work on oil derricks, repair boats. After being at sea for months at a time, he seems to... enjoy having a sexual relationship, so...
Booth: Sure. Sure. Deep sea welder.
Brennan: He can hold his breath for three minutes down there.
Booth: Underwater?
Brennan: Of course!

°after Booth interrupts Brennan at her home while she has a guy over°
Brennan: It would be good if you called first.
Booth: Well who knew you were even dating?
Brennan: Well I wouldn't call it dating. We... occasionally make arrangements to spend time together.
Booth: I'm just surprised you're not more picky.
Brennan: My relationship with Mark is purely physical, and I am very satisfied with him in that area. Did you see his chest and his thighs?
Booth: Bones!

Booth: °walking out the door with Brennan° How about Chinese?
Sweets: I love Chinese! Love it.
Brennan: °ignoring Sweets° I feel more like Thai.

Brennan: When I was five years old I went next door to visit our neighbor Mrs. Walkey and... she was dead, sitting at the kitchen table. And I'm alright.
Booth: You spend your life with skeletons.

Booth: Bones, just... speak from your heart.
Brennan: On behalf of humankind, universe, I'd like to apologize for what happened to Ripley. He was born a cute little puppy. And then the people who adopted him wanted to kill him because they were too stupid to realize that... he would grow into a big dog.
Booth: That's good.
Brennan: Ripley was a good dog. He didn't want to fight. But he did it to please his master. He didn't want to attack a human being, but he did it to please his master. You know, it wasn't Ripley's fault that his... master was cruel and selfish. Like all dogs, Ripley only saw the good in people. Dogs are like that. People should take a lesson.

Booth: °about Ripley's death° It's not my fault. Bones why are you talking to me?
Brennan: Well you're the only one here!
Booth: Talk to the universe or- or God or- Ripley.
Brennan: Well I don't believe in God.
Booth: Well, 'God' spelled backwards is 'dog.'

Booth: °about the opossum° There it goes.
Brennan: Uh... you should go get him.
Booth: What do I look like, Ranger Rick?

"So when do i get my gun?"
"You don't. Your request has been denied. You were charged with a crime."
"Well, put down you were wrong to arrest me."
"Yeah, i don't have a space for that."

"I have a puckish side that will not be denied."

Temperance ¯·.,¸¸,.·´

- Look I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends but next time you should identify yourself before attacking me.

- I don't know what that means.

- You got a 'hold for questioning request' from the FBI. Didn't you?

- Stalk me Oliver and I will kick your ass.

- I hate psychology. My most meaningful relationships are with... dead people.

- I hate it when you make paranoia plausible. It's like sliding off a cliff.

- Tell me you tried excuse-me first...

- And yet I was never reduced to flashing my boobs for information.

- If you drive one more block I'm screaming "kidnap" out the window.

- Guatemala. Genocide. How are you scary after that?

- We don’t just have a killer on our hands, we have a cannibal!

- Leaving buttons on the trail. Must be an old fish chewer trick.

- Are you suggesting that I take this opportunity to have sex with Booth on a field trip?

- Where am I, in backwards world?

- Let’s pretend we are objective scientists and not indulge in conjecture.

- Because he asked me. He said please.

- Angela, I'm trying to piece together a skull.

- You said we tell the truth. We do not flinch. You flinched, Michael.

- What? Is it so odd for everyone to see me with a man?
°everyone nods°

- The X in ex-lover is not a variable. It's a constant.

- You really think Goodman's gonna let you spike the eggnog after the Fourth of July fiasco?

- Booth, will you escort Angela to the Christmas party and make sure that she doesn't photocopy her butt?

- You mean you took what was unique and particular about her and destroyed it.

- °to Booth° You know what? You tough guys are all very sentimental.

- Why, I do one, then the other.

- Forensic anthropologist. That’s why no gun.

- This is the stuff that Booth is good at, the murky ways of the human heart.

- °talking about the victim° She was religious. She should have had a casket, a proper burial, with her name on the headstone. We are going to find out who she is and we are going to give her that.

- Well at least then I'm dying for a good reason.

- The artist has to live within a set of tonal structure and trust his own instincts to find his way out of an infinite maze of musical possibilities and the great ones do.

- Hundreds of criminals would like me to stop what I do. Are you suggesting that I just give up my career?

- You catch murderers to pay off your penance, Harold lives underground.

- °being lowered down a long dark tunnel° I've done plenty of climbing, these lines have load tolerances that are more than adequate.

- Only Angela could get a ride in the middle of nowhere.

- Para-mortem contact gunshots, it wasn't the desert that caught this man unaware, it was someone with a gun.

- I believe there's greed, that's a real curse.

- Where the hell are my bones?!

- °pokes him in the eyes° I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye.

- I know what you’ve been doing with Martin, with Hastings and the others. If you had finished medical school, you’d know bone dust is very dangerous if inhaled. You’re sick Mrs. Combs, and I don’t just mean in a mentally disturbed way.

- I find intelligence soothing.

- You were 7 years old, Russ, old enough to remember. What-What is your real name? What is my real name?

- If you keep bringing Chinese food in the middle of the night, we're both going to get fat.

- What's with the siren, why are you driving like a maniac?

- You shouldn't swallow heroin. It's dangerous.

- °to Carter as he runs away° We're not gonna hurt you. °knocks him down° Okay I hurt you a little bit but only because you ran.

- He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.

- I don't mean that your feelings are tiny. I mean that you have feelings about being tiny.

- °to nine-year-old beauty queens° So yours is a cultural structure predicated in the equation of beauty with power. You instinctively align yourselves with someone who holds the greatest potential for a societal supremacy. It's a Darwinian pressure you're too young to bear.

- I suppose, from an anthropological standpoint, this taps into the nihilistic part of the human psyche fascinated by blood and gore.

- So much for my Has Been Army fighter.

- You mean like "If You Can Read This, You're Too Close"?

- No, faith is an irrational belief in something that is logically impossible. Over time I have seen what Booth can do. It's not faith.

- So you talked to Ms. Cinders? That must have been difficult since she doesn't have a head.

- °upset° Columbus shot a man in the head, hung him from a pole, gutted him and set him on fire, and Columbus is our father.

- °dismissing Russ' warning that they are in danger° I spend half of my time with a sniper trained FBI agent, I feel safe.

- °after Booth shot the ice cream truck° That was NOT good!

- Despite the fact that I have absolute faith in Dr. Hodgins' integrity and objectivity, in this instance, he was not involved.

- °referring to the church's chalice° Can we take this with us or do we need to serve a warrant on God?

- °talking about the astronauts' wives they just interviewed° It just seems so odd, those women stick together like a harem.

- This is, I wanna say anomalous, but I'm going to go with weird.

- Stop, or I'll kick you in the testicles!

- I saw Matthew McConaughey once in a movie on a plane. Very silly. But I was quite taken with his musculature.

- Of all the bad decisions you've made the one thing you're ashamed of is having sex with a not hot girl?!

- °to Booth° You don't play at being a warrior. You are a warrior... every day. You're definitely a... fully developed man.

- °to crying baby Andy° No need to fuss! Obviously something is upsetting you!

- °to still crying baby Andy° How about some visual and auditory stimulation?... Phalanges, phalanges! Dancing phalanges!

- °showing Andy a stuffed purple elephant° Elephants are not purple. This is wrong.

- If the truth can't be proven, is it still the truth?

- So he was killed, decapitated, and mulched. Wow, can't be worse for this guy.

- It's Zack. He's the killer, Booth. It's Zack.

- °about the woman who shot Booth° That woman was aiming at me. I would have happily taken that bullet.

- °to Booth° Just so you know I find your lack of puritan modesty very refreshing.

- Why don't you let me drive? I'm an excellent driver.

- °Angela calls Brennan but her call goes to voicemail...° Technically, you have not reached Temperance Brennan. But if you leave a message, it will reach her. Me. Temperance Brennan.

- The murderer was a human being, the murder weapon was a dog.

- Do all boys keep their masturbatory aids in their shoes?

Seeley ¯·.,¸¸,.·´

- You're great at what you do but you don't solve murders... guys like we do.

- No, she’s amazing. If the only way I can get her back on my side is to bring her out in the field, I’m willing.

- Okay let's grab your skull and let's vamoose.

- Well, for somebody who hates psychology she sure has a lot of it.

- She didn't give him a warning. She just shot him... with alcohol on her breath.

- °kicks° If anybody asks, that door was open.

- Ooh, so only a woman could know a woman. I thought women wanted us to understand them!

- You know, I need subtitles walking in here.

- Sure, you know, someone says "It smells" in a Spanish accent and all of a sudden you're like "Hm, interesting."

- Well, you know, girls they organize alphabetically. Guys are more organic. Good stuff up to the left... Crap... °soft° bottom right.

- Heh. You know, luckily I'm good at keeping secrets.

- Omnia Mea Mecum Porto. What does that mean: regular people stay out?

- What is he, some kind of Indian scout?

- Somebody was dismembered and fed to a bear?

- Just because you say it in that definitive tone, does not mean that it means anything to me.

- Look, you’re nuts okay? We get it. We don’t need to hear the rambling psycho-speech on why you did it.

- Paranoia and delusions of grandeur... all in one package.

- Well, I'd say thanks, you know, if you didn't say it like it was some kind of a miracle.

- Oh, believe me, she is being modest.

- I don't like parrots. No, people should really, really do all the talking.

- Do you think I won't pop you one just because we're standing in the judge's kitchen?

- I really don't agree with you. I just, I don't like her.

- For a people person, you're a little rude.

- Listen, Bones, here is the thing. What if a gift goes both ways? What's wrong with that? °Brennan ignores° Look, all I'm saying is that maybe the real gift is when you accept something with a little grace.

- Anybody besides me worried that a guy dressed like Santa is in charge?

- You touch her, she'll break your arm.

- I'd like to go pay a visit to Dr. Boobies.

- °to guard° Listen buddy, I don't know what your problem is but this is my little sister. Okay, I'm visiting from Coeur D'Alene. I asked her here for a drink which is taking a hell of a long time by the way.

- OK, guys, when I ask your names, I want the ones that your parents gave you.

- You know, I gotta tell you, I never bought all that English 101 stuff. Sometimes a river is just a river.

- Such as, you know, FBI guys are hot and Angela here wants to have sex with me.

- What is this? NPR radio, huh? What, are you two running for office?

- I never said anything about FBI. She's my partner, ese? And if anything happens to her, I will find you and I will kill you. I won't think twice. Come here look at my eyes. °He cocks his gun and puts it in Ortez's mouth° Look at my face! If anything happens to her, I will kill you.

- Let’s just pretend that I’m the cop for a second, OK?

- Great, now he's ignoring us in two languages.

- Everybody finds what you find relaxing relaxing.

- Ok, you two should do that even less than normal people.

- What is it with you people and the guns, huh?!

- Kenton heard the Romanos were pissed that they reopened the investigation, when they get pissed, they shoot.

- Crack heads, you know, aren’t that detail oriented.

- And Hodgins is playing with dog poop, so everyone's got something to do.

- You know, if we weren't in a toy car...

- You know, you amaze me, you know Treasure of the Sierra Madre, but you don't know Charlize Theron. You know who you are? You're my grandmother.

- You know? Let's go back home, you know where there's water and shelter and living things, come on.

- Hey! °hugs Angela on his way in the door° You know, people in the desert don't have actual addresses. What's up with that?

- I'm touring the hottest places in the universe. Next stop... Hell.

- We need you to do your dirt thing. You know, match the slime to the crime.

- Ok, listen, there is no way that Bones could have killed Leger. I mean, it's just not her, I mean, look at her.

- Hey Bones, howsabout while you're a murder suspect, you act more like a normal woman and less like Lily Munster, k?

- She's not wisecracking, she just tends to be a bit literal.

- Well usually dead people are pretty much silent on their own.

- Bones has voodoo amnesia, Leger is voodoo dead, and the last thing they worked on together was a voodoo ritual murder, so I'm thinking there might be some kind of a connection.

- Yeah, that whole zombie stuff puts a crimp in your public relations, I bet.

- How can one dead guy do so much damage?

- Bones, I know that you find dead people intriguing, but just... try to put on your sad face.

- °to Angela° Why do you think that Bones asked her boyfriend to, you know, read her book and not me? You know, maybe, maybe because there was too much of me in the story. °pauses° Oh, she was embarrassed, you think? Maybe? Maybe...

- I'll decide what is and isn't an attack, like, say, a hiccup.

- Don't call me Seeley.

- Booth, oh yeah Rebecca. Whoa wait a second. Slow down. This is my weekend with Parker. Okay I am his father, Stew is your boyfriend.

- Well, I'm sure Dr. Brennan would be happy to re-break that wrist for you.

- °to Brennan° That was a nice moment, you know? Me translating for you.

- Do you have any other higher aspirations? Rather than just, you know, babysitting drunken playboys?

- Hodgins being abducted by men in black. It's a dream come true.

- °to Brennan about Milk Blast bars° Are you kidding me? These are God's food!

- So mom bound, starved and drugged her. °sarcastically° That's heart warming.

- So some twisted psycho killer gives this little girl a makeover before he kills her?

- What nine year old dyes her hair?

- Dr Brennan, she's pretty good at making dead people tell her things.

- Great, you wanna give up, huh? This is Bones we're talking about and Hodgins. You really think they didn't find a way to extend their air supply? Hell, they found a way to send us a message, to ask us for help and you wanna give up because of math.

- °furiously throwing Vega on the table and choking him° Here's the deal, alright? You have a relationship with this guy, what they call symbiotic. You benefit from each other. So know this, huh? That deadline comes around and my partner is still in the ground, I will end you. You understand? Three hours to live. °lets him go° Better hurry.

- °agitated° I tried all the dumb guy normal stuff, okay? That's why I'm talking with the brain trust, alright? °slaps monitor with text message° Think! Eggheads, work it!

- I liked it better when they were aliens.

- Oh, you know when a woman finds out that a man has been cheatin' on her she can get pretty mad. °after noticing the looks he receives from Zack and Brennan° It's what I heard. Okay look we got a motive and opportunity. It fits.

- Bones, I take a stand-up crook over a crooked cop any day of the week.

- That’s my boss's boss's boss.

- Don’t drink the Moroccan beer, it tastes like earwax.

- °to Father Coulter° How do you accidentally blow up a train trestle?

- It wasn't a murder, it was a blood stain.

- °explaining to Cam why he wants her to skip protocol when it comes to Howard Epps° Sorry, I'm just a little anxious to get the little gerbil back in his cage, that's all.

- °walking out of Brennan’s office, annoyed° Why does everybody question me, alright? I’m the hero!

- °Brennan gets grabbed by her hair by one of the inmates, Booth pulls her to him and puts his arm around her° Whooah! Just stay close, OK? A lot of these animals haven't seen a real woman since Reagan was president.

- °Booth's cell rings° Yeah. You know what? I've had some insight. It's right here. °pointing at the display of his phone° That's my Bones calling, my partner.

- You are really English.

- Bones, don't try the psychological stuff. It's really not a pretty sight.

- °shoots door° My shrink is gonna be pissed.

- °sarcastically° Well, I gotta tell you, you were right Zack, every model airplane freak from Baltimore is here.

- °sarcastically° Come on, four hits simultaneously with a broadsword? What, was he attacked by the Knights of the Round Table?

- You know, General Sanbourne, I know you people are really tight lipped, but I am really good friends with a very aggressive federal prosecutor who is great at getting warrants.

- Is there some kind of rule that astronauts' wives travel in packs?

- °as he and Bones walk up to the body in the crater, sarcastically° So, what do you think, dead? °Bones looks at him incredulously° I'm just saying, if he fell out of a plane, that plane is long gone by now.

- °sarcastically° So he fell from outer space in a pair of loafers?

- Abby just ... °Hodgins suddenly hugs him; he continues very uncomfortably.° ... woke up. I need you to find out what that stuff is, okay? °pries off Hodgins' arms° Um ... it's so much easier just to fight and shoot guns.

- See, uh, bodies, they don't usually glow.

- Okay, squint squad. Why does she look like a glow stick?

- Big news from the nerd posse?

- Let's boogie, Bones!

- °to Brennan° Well, there’s only one thing more fun than uh, therapy on a Saturday night... and that’s a dead body.

- °Brennan, dressed as Wonder Woman, pulls out a gun° Okay, where did you even find a place to carry that?

- Alright, that's it, no shooting the squints tonight, sorry.

- °after getting mad at Dr. Sweets° Now I know why I am not allowed to bring my gun in here.

- °after Brennan dismisses sports as unimportant° And another thing. I uh, I fought in a war. So sports is a childish substitute? I can live with that.

- Could Bones have killed Kirby? ... Temperance Brennan, I've worked with this woman, I've stood over death with her, I've faced death down with her. Sweets is brilliant - he is, but he's wrong. ... She could not have done this.

- °getting out of the car° Geez. Gettin' out of this thing is like being born!

- °gets out of the car he's unsuccessfully trying to drive° God! I hate London, I hate England! I'm glad we had a revolution! Aaaa!

- Well you know without a gun I'm practically naked, isn't that right, Bones?

- I wonder if I can get Congress to pass something like, uh, knighthood? Sir Seeley Booth. Just sounds right.

- Bones, two guys at the same time? That's not right! I mean, that's why they invented dueling.

- °knocking on Brennan's apartment door° Bones, wakey-wakey. Bones? °Brennan opens the door° Wakey-wakey. Eggs and bakey.

- °to Angela and Brennan° Okay, you two don't get all, you know, Xena Princess Warrior on me, okay?

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

Man: Can I have your number, I've lost mine?
Woman: You'd probably 'lose' mine too by tomorrow.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet and locker,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

the guy who adores you with his eyes (as Angela Montenegro says)

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

1. Your real name: Charlotte Robson

2. Your Nobody name (Take all the letters of your first name, mix them around and put an "x" where you think it should go): Rottxlache

3. Your Gangsta name (the first three letters of your name plus "izzle"):
Chaizzle

4. Your Detective name (fav. color and fav. animal): Black Dog

5. Your Soap Opera name (your middle name and the street you live on):
Louise Wark

6. Your Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first): Charo

7. Your Super Hero name (2nd fav color, fav drink): Red Pepsi

8. Your Witness Protection name (middle names of your parents): Louise

9. Your Goth Name (Black plus the name of one of your pets): Black Simba