Hi I don't know why you would want to know random information about a random person on a random website. So of course I'm going to waste my time and write it! O.K some important facts about me!

Favorite Color: Blue or maybe pink or purple Ummmm... let me think about that one... OOOH I know I know! (Raises hand excitedly before realizing that I'm the only person in the room) O.K are you ready for this? RAINBOW!!!!!!!!

Age: You don't need do know that... Wait it's somewhere between one and infinity. HAHAHAHA You didn't think I would actually tell you? Did you?

(Cackles evilly)

Oh yeah! Name: Authoress Ag' ape Mythos Authoress is a made up word and Ag' ape mythos is Greek... or French for writes stories... or eats chocolate... or is repairing an island... Wait let me look that up!

Several seconds later

Wait should've I been doing something?

OH MY GOSH!!!!

I forgot the most important fact about me!

I'M INSANE! (In case you haven't already figured that out already)

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life. Girl runs away, heartbroken and crying. Boy runs after her and says... "The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life." Boy, then gently wipes away Girl's tears and the couple live happily ever after.

I thought this was sweet! If you do too then copy and paste this into your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

37 Things to do in an Elevator (Hilarious)

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time"

Wtf this got random fast

1. Rose Hathaway

2. Christian Ozera

3. Emmett Cullen

4. Dimitri Belikov

5. Rosalie Hale

6. Carlisle Cullen

7. Bella Swan

8. Edward Cullen

9. Masen Ashford

10. Lissa Dragomir

11. Alice Cullen

12. Jacob Black

13. Sydney the Alchemist

14. Jasper Hale

What if 14 and 4 got together?

Hahahaha ew well they’re both dark and broody but I think Alice and Rose would have something to say

What if 14 hooked up with 8?

Hahahaha I’ve read a fanfic where that happened

What if 12 and 10 got together?

Um...awkward cos they're like totally different personalities

What if 14 and 2 hooked up?

Hahahahaha run for your lives!!!! But seriously wtf is with it being jasper all the time

What if 10 and 6 got together?

Hahahahahahahahahahaha...hahahahahahahahahahahaha omg jasper would kill Carlisle hahahaha

What if 1 and 9 hooked up?

Well they kinda did but rose would end up hurting him again so :(

What if 3 was in the same book as 5?

Well they are so...

What if 11 and 8 hooked up?

It seems entirely possible what with them being so close and all

What if 9 and 11 hooked up?

Hahahahahahahahaha jazz would so kick masons butt...hahahahaha

What if 14 and 3 hooked up?

Hahahahaha...ew that's happened in a fanfic I've read as well

What if 1 and 2 hooked up?

Um how would that go I no they got closer and all but I think Lissa would probably disown rose

What if 3 got 4 pregnant?

Hahahahahahaha...backs away slowly

1. Angela 2. Jacob 3. Carlisle 4. Seth 5. Bella 6. Emmett 7. Jane 8. Sam 9. Edward 10. Alice

1. Have you ever read a three/eight fanfic before? ew nooooo!

2. Do you think four is hot? well he’s a Quileute duh!

3. What would happen if eight got one pregnant? wow I wonder what Emily and Ben would say to that

4. Do you recall any fics about two? yes loads

5. Would four and five make a good couple? yeah if they could get past the whole Edward and Jacob thing cos they’re good friends

6. Seven and three or seven and nine? I think that Edward and jane would work better then jane and Carlisle cos of that killing stuff

7. What would happen if one walked in on two and eight in an awkward situation? well angela would probably be like flushed and would walk out cos she don’t know them too well

8. Make up a summary of a three/ten fic.Alice was a lost cause arcording to the parents that put her in a mental hospital but when th mysterious Dr. Carlisle Cullen comes will sparks fly?

9. Is there such a thing as one/eight fluff? no cos I don’t think theyve ever met eachother except when thay went to the beach

10.Suggest a title for a six/two hurt/comfort fic. Jacob was stricken after Bella chose Edward but it came as more of a surprise who came to comfort him. Emmet Cullen.

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to go out with one? I think like Angela would go to see Bella and Seth would be there and he’s like imprint on her or something

12. What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? um...awkward question...”I did not see this in my future”????

13. If you wrote a song-fic about nine, what song would you choose? Captivated- lady gaga

14. If you wrote a one/five/nine fic, what would the warning be? Warning sparks will fly when Angela and Bella have to fight over Edward Cullen.

15. What might be a good pick-up line for four to use on eight? “Yo dude are you and Emily like still together?”

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?Eclipse

How long did it take you to read the books?like 2-3 days each but it was a school day

Who introduced you to the books?my bffl natasha

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?I borrowed them from the library but then bought them

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?Breaking Dawn the Movie

What's your dream ending to the series?Renesmee grows up and they move and Jacob goes with them and they start school again and happy ending

Favorites:

Who is your favorite character?Alice Cullen

Who's your favorite vampire?Alice duh!

Who is your favorite werewolf?Seth...i like Jacob more as a love intrest then a werewolf

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?Emmett "What's wrong Bella? fall down again" Bella "Not Emmett a punched a werewolf in the face"

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?when he doesn’t want to lose his virtue

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?when she punches him :P

How about your favorite Bella and Alice? The wedding

What was your favorite adventure/battle?Eclispe

Which book cover was your favorite? Eclispe

Are these books among your favorite books of all? Hell Yes. But i wish Stephanie Meyer would write a sequel to breaking dawn

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?new moon

New Moon or Eclipse? Eclipse

Eclipse or Twilight?Eclipse

Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn(movie) or Midnight Sun(book)?Breaking Dawn

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob? Edward...ima steal Jacob

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?Bella

Bella or Jacob?Jacob

Bella or Alice?Alice

Alice or Jacob?Definitely Alice.

Rosalie or Alice? Alice

Jasper or Alice?Alice

Jasper or Edward? jasper

Carlisle or Esme? Esme

Emmett or Jasper? Emmett

Emmett or Jacob? Emmet...idk?

Bella or Rosalie? Roslaie...huh it turns out I dont like bella that much

Esme or Charlie?Esme

Charlie or Carlisle?Carlisle

Charlie or Billy?Billy

Jacob or Sam? Jacob

Sam or Quil?Quil

Quil or Embry?Quil

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria? Victoria...she got freakin newborn army with her!

HEY GUYS DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING ON THIS PROFILE! I MIGHT HAVE JUST PUT STUFF ON FOR THE HECK OF IT!