If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. Put this on your profile, if you ever pushed the door that said pull. If you have run into a window that you thought was an open door copy this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile. I have! Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile! If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever had a crush on a fictional character copy this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile. (and in my iPod, and in my CD player, and on the radio. Music is everywhere) Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! 92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy this onto your profile If you have ever fallen UP the stairs, copy this onto your profile If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN--are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! Some people think I'm insane. If you've ever been called insane before, copy this and put it in your profile. If every time someone asked you about what Maximum Ride was about you gave them a crazy look saying am-I-really-hanging-out-with-you, copy and paste this in your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room for no reason, put this in your profile. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they laid down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see.” Watson said: "I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars". Holmes: "And what does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a moment: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why? - What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a moment then spoke: "Someone has stolen our tent." (This is for those of us who think so hard that we miss the simple things in life. I'm guilty!! Are you?) An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if well-aimed. Paper may beat rock, but cannonball makes a big hole in paper. One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons. It's always the last place you look for it... of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it? I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply? Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep. WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs. If silence is golden, is talking silver? Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real. Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. My favorite word is sarcasm. Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer. God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people. Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person. It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. If practice makes perfect and no one's perfect, why practice? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people. I'm not insensitive, I just don't care. When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape. The longer I live, the more convinced am I that this planet is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum. Strange is only a matter of perspective. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. No more to say for that. People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it. "You know, I do not think that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez "Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver." "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together." Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go. “Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.” Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity? The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen! I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter. When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate. It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with. "Set sail in a general that way direction." It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it? I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later. Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face? The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” “If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.” A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy? I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Even more randomness Some people blame our generation, but have they ever stopped to think WHO raised US? We're all gonna die but I got a helmet. When nothing goes right... I'm not RANDOM. You just can't think as FAST as me! Lose one friend, lose all friends, dont't lose yourself I rather be hated for who I am, then loved for something I'm not. "MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... Did you ever notice how all of out problems begin with MEN?" Kinda hard not to be a smart-ass when you're talking to dumb-asses all the time. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. "You look familiar. Have I threatened you before?" Jack Sparrow, POTC Those that ignore history are doomed to repeat it; those who studied history are doomed to know its repeating. I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man. If the whole world depends on today's youth, I can't see the world lasting another 100 years. The problem with reality is a lack of background music. I laugh in the face of death...maybe not laugh more like a snicker...a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back. I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser. Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and yell, "Storms suck!" Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. (o)if you live for music copy and paste this to your profile. Girl Comebacks! Man: "Where have you been all my life?" Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Man: "Is this seat empty?" Man: "I want to give myself to you." Man: "Your place or mine?" Man: "So, what do you do for a living?" Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Man: "But I don't know your name." Man: "Your body is like a temple." Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you." Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy." Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together" Man: "Your eyes they're amazing." Man: "I know how to please a woman." Man: "Haven't we met before?" Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" Man:"Your feisty, I like that." Woman:"Your smelly, go away." Man:"My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats."Woman:"My dad runs that hospital, and that's where you'll be if you keep hitting on me." Man:"I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages." Woman:"I have a high kick. And they love to land on..." Shit Happens. Reasons why girls are the best 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry/flirt and get out of a speeding ticket. If a guy did either it would be creepy...since most cops are guys. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. 30. We give birth, if your mom died when she was pregnant, you would have died too. If your father died, you would still be born. 31. We have style 32. There's the saying, "Ladies First" 33. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month 34. At least one girl always survives in horror movies 35. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly 36. Our magazines have horiscopes 37. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around 38. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing 39. We have ways of getting what we want easily. 'Never Argue With A Woman' One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.He pulls up alongside the "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. |
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