Hello those of you strangely deciding to check me out ;). Just kidding, thanks for swinging by, you're all dolls. :)

"I wish we could be, I wish we could be."

"I'll give you to three to either jump out that window or I shove you out."

"Home, home is wherever I'm with you."

"Love? Fuck, I don't want to feel."

Stories Currently Working On:

A little about me? Well, I couldn't...

Young, bold, I love many things, including food and writing. Even better if they're together. :) I'm a generally happy person, or I'd like to think I am, wild, patient, impulsive, very philosophical to a point where I'm tempted to slam my head in with all my thoughts running around. I'm clumsy, childish, and weird, quirky but nice, and I promise that if you simply love living, I think we can get along.

And food, you have to love food or this relationship can't work.

And books.

And movies.

And superheroes.

...and food, always food.

Name: Hahaha, I think I'll keep that to myself. But you can call me Smiles, or just Cr00kedSmiles. :

Age: I'm younger than thirty, but older than twelve.

Birthday: December 31, New Year's Eve baby!

Likes: Food, books, reading, movies, superheroes, comics, bacon, animals, nature, having fun, being lazy, sleep, my bed, warm blankets, hot chocolate, rain, lots of things that don't matter but they do to me anyway, cloudy days, and of course, all the wonderful people on this site.

What to do at wally-world

1. Get 24 boxes of cookies and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow!'

18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a jedi match.

19. Stand by the fruit section and whenever someone is browsing whisper "I heard someone died eating those"

20. Go to the furniture section, find a wardrobe and put a sign on it that says "CAUTION: PORTAL TO NARNIA"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list! XD

What to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

He who laughs last didn't get it

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

"Only two things are infinite, human stupidity, and the universe... And I'm not even sure about the latter."-Albert Einstein

"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."

"I don't understand a word you're going on about, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize."