Sup, peeps? I have no idea what I'm doing! But ya'know, my pure awesomeness makes up for that. I used to go by a whole alter ego, but then I stopped giving a fuck. So my name is CNoel, but not really (it's Claudia), my age you don't care about but I'll tell you anyway how 15 I am, and where I live... Well, if you wanna know that, congratulations, you are a creeper!

There used to be hot guy ranting here but I outgrew most of them so I took it down. I will, however, say one thing - Brandon Flowers is the freaking hottest man ever on the face of the earth and I all theuniverse oh my god he's really hot. And The Killers are he best band ever. Of all time. Yes I stole that from Kanye. But at least I didn't interrupt anyone. Also Avenged Sevenfold is the band of Jesus. And did I mention that my friends call me Jesus? Praise me, bitches.

Also Syn Gates is super hot too.

Okay. I'm done. Some of this shit is still from my super epic alter ego penname so bear with me till I can change i.

I'm the most normal person you'll ever meet. And by that I mean I'm weird as fuck. I mean, I fall over on my ass so much and so comically that it is now called pulling a Claudia, aka pulling a Synyster Gates if it's raining and/or you're playing guitar.

I have these big glasses, you know, the cool kind,but not cause they're popular, because I think they're cool and also I have no idea what's in fashion. I have a lot of rings, and I wear 13 in all - as in, 2 on 3 fingers. I'm a loner, and I don't care what you say in reviews cause if you make me mad I'll totally diss you in my next Author's Note. And on my profile. And you better not report me or else I'll get all my minions to hunt you down. Also, my ego is freakin' huge. Like, bigger than our solar system. So expect me to gloat. A lot. And rub my awesomeness in your faces. And gloat some more. I love to write, but I really don't have a lot of free time, so for those of you who actually like me and my huge ego, sorry. But for the few of you who are actually able to hate me and my amazingness, screw you.

I am completely obsessed with Bleach, The Mortal Instruments, The Killers, The Yogscast and most things I like, really. TWO BEST FRIENDS PLAY IS THE FUNNIEST THING IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT YOUR LIFE IS NOT COMPLETE. You should also listen to A7x.

ALSO I have a Livejournal, FictionPress, and Mibba and I think all of them are CNoel or TheCNoel. I have a Tumblr ThePhrehistoricGoat (someday I'll explain) and a YouTube account of the same name. Subscribe bitchesss!!!!!!!!

I am not weird. Lol jk I am.

STORY SCHEDULE TIME YAY I'M ORGANIZED KIND OF NOT REALLY OR AT ALL EVEN.

By the way, from now on, I will be writing most of my amazing literature (lol, I mean that crap I sometimes do) on my iPhone. So, forgive any lack of italics, bold, or anything I can't do on this thing. And so you know, I have a tendency to call my stories - especially ones part of a series - "books" I guess cause it's just easier and some of them are (planned to be) quite long. I feel like it's slightly misleading/conceited, so I try to go with story. So, either way, don't get confused or anything.

PS I SWEAR TO GOD ALL OF MY STORIES WILL GET FINISHED EVENTUALLY I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES THIRTY YEARS THEY TOTALLY WILL AND IM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT TILL YOURE OLD AND STUFF.

In Progress--

Mortal Instruments - There is Only One: This story is being rewritten. I have the prologue and most of the first chapter. It will be republished under the name City of Claws and Sparks. I'll probs leave the original up for a while, though, cause why not?

How I Met Your Mother - Visits: Okay this was my first story and I will finish it. I know how it's gonna end and I had an idea as to how it would get there, but it was too drawn out and redundant so it's going through some changes. Plus, I just haven't been inspired to write that one lately.

Malcolm in the Middle - Late: This one I just kind of wrote to be honest. I didn't have much of an idea as to where it would go, how it would end, or what would even happen in the next chapter. And, like Visits, inspiration has been low for that one.

DragonFable - Cath, She Stands: This one I know what happens, how it happens, just not exactly how it ends or if there will be any sequels. There's also the matter of inspiration, and getting it down on paper/the computer. This one is just a bit hard to write.

I realize after writing all that, that it's less of a schedule and more of a "Hey, I'm just writing MI right now YAAAAAYYY." or something. But no! Not true!

UPCOMING STORIES YAY I'M SLIGHTLY MORE ORGANIZED THAN I PERCEIVED MYSELF TO BE AND REALLY THIS IS ALL NOT EVEN A SCHEDULE IS IT

Bleach - The Shattering: This will be a the first in a four-part series. Excited? I'm so disorganized, I'm writing like five different parts in three different books. I even have a summary for you people, but it doesn't really give anything away about the plot at all and also it's kind of under construction. I expect to have this out either midway during Claws and Sparks or once it's finished, depending on how well I can write them simultaneously.

Fallout: New Vegas - The Armory: This one is meant to be very long but I may shorten it to reduce risk of redundancy and writing time, though I do have a pretty fair amount of it written. This one probably won't be out for a little while because Claws and Sparks is really my top priority right now.

Friends - The One Where Chandler Died: Heh, so what do you think of that title? And you actually know the plot of one of my upcoming stories! Yay! I have a pretty fair amount of this already written, so I guess after Claws and Sparks and maybe Shattering, the first chapter won't be terribly far off.

I also have plenty more stories in the works, but not nearly enough written to feature them here. So stay tuned I guess even though this isn't a television. And don't worry, most of the ones by featured I haven't worked on for a while, so I don't plan to start until I have a good amount of Claws and Sparks and Shattering done.

ALSO AND I SPELLED THAT ASLO THE FIRST TIME OOPS.

I have a lot of original stories in my head, aka not fanfiction. And so, my fictionpress account was created! My name on there is also CNoel, so, yeah. Not too hard to find. On there, is a list of what to expect eventually! There's also a bunch of stories with real people, mostly Two Best Friends and A7x, so expect those somewhere.

Okay, I think that's it for now. Expect City of Claws and Hearts soon!

And again, I apologize for like the two year wait on all this. I seriously just could not get to my computer to write. But never fear! Now that I'm doing it on my iPhone I will be able to write a lot more!

YAAAY.

And now enjoy some utter randomness!

Sorry, my iPhone's screwy and all the bold has vanished. Oops. But I just went on my computer and fixed some of it YAY.

HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY

I am the boy who never finished school because I was called a fag every day.

I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I was a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they wouldn't allow my partner of 27 years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up to the nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before my high school graduation. It was just too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one bedroom for two men.

I am the one person who does not know which bathroom to use so the management doesn't come for me.

I am the mother who is not even allowed to see the children I bore, nursed and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the father who never hugged my son because I grew up afraid to show affection to males.

I am the Home Ec teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians could teach it.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind.

I am the girl ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian because they make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men said they needed to 'teach me a lesson'.

I am the person who needs to hide what this world needs the most: love.

Seriously, people. Gay people are just like everyone else; they want love. But because minorities are discriminated, they are usually unable to find it. I have gay friends. I have friends with gay parents. I know gay people. It's not like they act differently or think differently than anyone else; is it really so bad to love someone?

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG- REPOST THIS

Gay marriage:

1) Being gay is not natural. People always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. (I eat two damn cookies at lunch, and they are delicious. So, no, I'm not anorexic.)
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (Gay people are awesome. I'm friends with some gay people, and they rock. Everyone's a little gay, everyone.)
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. (Um... I don't go to church at all... I'm not even all that religious. I practice Yogism more than i do Christianity. I believe in my own thing, I was just raised a Christian.)
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. (I'm not responsible)
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. (I think gothness and emoness are freaking cool)
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. (Half white, forever alone.)
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (I have neither LOL JK I'm a self-induced loner.)
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. (RED RED RED I LOVE MY FALSE GINGERNESS.)
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. (I can easily attract attention inn other ways, like humping a lamp (I actually did that once) or dancing in the middle of the street (I almost did that once))
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. (Animals are too cute to eat!)
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (No, just awesomely in style with awesomeness.)
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy. (Ugly? No, I'm freakin sexy. Crazy? Indeed.)
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (No. I'm normal. Like, not mentally normal, but I'm pretty skinny.)
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (I'm 15! Too young for a boyfriend! And, I already established that I am damn sexy, bitch.)
I'm a SKATER so I must steal stuff. (I don't want to go to prison. Plus, I barely skate. And I prefer ice skating to the actual skateboard (I do like skateboarding a lot, though) but that is not the point. I think.)
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. (I put off my homework until the beginning of the class it's due in. Okay, slight exaggeration there, but I procrastinate. A lot. Plus, I'm half Asian, half Itallian. OH GOD HALF ASIANS ARE SLACKERS LOL JK IT'S JUST ME.)
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. (Well, I know he wasn't white.)
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. (I'm not Mormon, but I'm perfect.)
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black (I'm pretty sure I'm not black. Let me check again... No, still not. Oh, wait. I'm Asian. Half Asian. So.)
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (I'm more awesome than everyone else. That's different. Awesome does not equal loser.)
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (Yes.)
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. (Again, 15. Car = illegal.)
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelons.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino. (Nooo... I just prefer the cold.)
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. (Don't misinterpret. I have a good amount.)
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. (I think little of everybody cause I'm more awesome than them. Well, I don't. I'm actually pretty nice to most people. And I don't have much artistic talent. This is a lie. Damn)
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. (Kind of. I just feel awkward in huge-ass groups)
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (I thought we established this)
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.(Uh I do have hygiene skills my hair just likes to plot against me)
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. (I know a guy who makes comic books so I read them. Also, comics rock.)
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. (ME FREAKSTA)
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (ALEC LIGHTWOOD ICHIGO KUROSAKI OMGOMG *stalks*)
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. (Two brothers. Twins. AHUIDSF)
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (I'm a genius who will kick your damn ass. Any questions?)
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (I'm skinny, I'm fairly loud-mouthed, and hell yeah I'm arrogant! Lol jk I suck. My ego is fake and I want to be British god)

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (not hardcore enough)
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. (Eh?)
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. (My stereotype is awesomeness. And also total insanity, but mostly awesomeness.)
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. (Jesus I wish I was English just for the accent)
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. (I'm toolazy to cause a problem anywhere)
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser (Awesome does not equal loser!)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy (I just don't want global warming to kill us all. Or the polar bears. Mostly the polar bears. They're so cute!!)
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-Sue. (EXCUSE ME BUT MY CHARACTERS ARE ALL VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT AND MANY OF THEM HAVE MENTAL ILLNESSES SO WHAT YOU GOT HUH)
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion (lol nope)
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (Yes)
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (For the most part, yes.)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. (I somewhat have my own. It's kind of a mix.)
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (All I know about the government is that... well, nothing, actually.)
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED (Labels are for labeled items (WTF?))
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast (Jesus I have the worst potty mouth ever holy crap.)
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish (Yes indeed. Completely Bleach-obsessed. No regrets, biotch!)
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. (I don't know why this is bold I'm not cool enough for gothness)
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. (why the fuck is this bold I don't work out)
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. (I dot consider myself Christian. Do not convert me. I'll eat you)
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue (yes.)
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover. (I push people over, sometimes. Does that count? Lol jk, I'm pushed over by light breezes. I'm totally a pushover)
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob. (I'm kinda greedy, but who isn't? Ok, I'm pretty greedy and self-obsessed. But at least I'm not like that damn guy Narcissus who fell in love with his reflection and died there because he wouldn't leave. (That's probably how I'll die). HAHAH jk I suck and my grammar is pretty bad)
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality. (Yes. Onward, my Unicorn!)
I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist. (jokes are funny when they're jokes)
I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie.
I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek. (I'm awesome. Enough said.)
I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports.
I'm NOT RELIGIOUS so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god. (no thank you)
I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports. (ducks are better at sports than me.)
I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends
I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at housework. (I suck balls(Clean Your Balls With the AXE DETAILER!(sorry, I had to)) at cleaning!)
I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool. (I'm Jesus. JesusCool)
I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame (lol yes)
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird. (Well, I'm not depressed. Do you want me to lie? LYING IS WRONG, DAMMIT!!)
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight. (I couldn't care less about my weight. It doesn't matter.)
I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday. (no longer consider myself religious. Everything I say is sacrilege.)
I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween. (Are you kidding? I need my free candy!!)
I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene.
I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self respect.
I consider myself 'NORMAL', so I MUST be boring. (NO)

Stereotypes make no sense.

Stereotypes suck.

Stereotypes aren't cool.

Stereotypes are WRONG.

CLEAN YOUR BALLS WITH THE AXE DETAILER

(Please watch that commercial.)

THE BOY/GIRL QUIZ

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies. (I've been wearing mine all day for a while now, but normally I'm too hot (NOT LIKE THAT!))
You love jeans. (JEANS ARE AWESOME!!!!)
Dogs are better than cats. (I've got a dog and a cat. My dog's name is Beth.)
It's hilarious when people get hurt. (Duh!)
You've played with/against boys on a team. (In gym and even then I just stood there.)
Shopping is torture. (UUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! Exept for video games, but still. UUUGGGGHHH!!!)
Sad movies suck. (Sometimes, but mostly I love them)
You own/ed an X-Box. (FALLOUT AND SKYRIM AND NETFLIX)
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. (I still have them somewhere. My brother and I play with them sometimes.)
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. (A cop, actually. But not anymore. Actually, I still want to be a detective or forensic person, but as a kid, I wanted to be the standard kind of cop)
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. (Still do, suckas)
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. (Yeah, and I remember I got pissed that the girl was never blue (except for one time))
You watch sports on TV. (WWE is awesome! Go Miz!)
Gory movies are cool. (Hell yeah! I'm the only one in my family with the balls to handle them)
You go to your dad for advice. (Depends on the problem)
You own like a trillion baseball caps. (I like knit hats)
You like going to high school football games. (Ask me when I'm in high school)
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. (Pokemon.)
Baggy pants are cool to wear. (Sometimes I wear skinny jeans, but i prefer baggy)
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. (I feel awkward in crowds...)
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors. (BLUE IS AWESOME)
You love to go crazy and not care what people think. (It's very very fun)
Sports are fun. (why in the fuck is this bold it's not true)
Talk with food in your mouth. (It grosses me out when people do this)
Sleep with your socks on at night (I tried once. It's so uncomfortable)
TOTAL: 16/25

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick. (No. Why is this bold.)
You love skirts. (I wear them sometimes, but jeans are better)
Cats are better than dogs. (I have a cat and a dog. My cat's name is Ringo)
You love to shop. (Ew ew ew ew ew! Video games or books, yes, but clothes? Ew ew ew ew!)
You wear eyeliner. (WHY IS THIS BOLD.)
You wear the colour pink. (I hate pink. Also, colour? WTF? Even my computer says it's wrong.)
Go to your mom for advice. (Depends on the problem)
Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favorite colors. (I like gold and purple, but blue is my fave)
You hate wearing the colour black. (I love wearing the color black. GOTH!)
You like hanging out at the shopping centre. (I'm never there cause I hate shopping! Sometimes I'll go to meet friends, but that's it)
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. (I can paint my own nails for free. It's not hard.)
You like wearing jewellery. (I wear a lot of rings. I love them. Also some bracelets. I went through a week-long period (NOT LIKE THAT!) where I wore like a million. Then it just got damn annoying.)
Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies. (Didn't we establish this many many times?)
You don't like the movie Star Wars. (OMG WHO THE HELL DOES NOT LIKE STAR WARS?? Well, the old ones have horrible graphics, but R2D2 is awesome.)
You were in gymnastics/dance. (Nope.)
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up. (Only because I keep getting distracted by things I want to do. Like, instead of doing makeup, I'm reading a book or something)
You smile a lot more than you should. (It cheers people up and it's awesome)
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. (I don't need over 10 pairs of shoes. Why the hell would I have 10 pairs of shoes? No one needs that many shoes!)
You care about what you look like. (As long as I don't have some sort of horrible gaping wound on my face, no, I don't care.)
You like wearing dresses when you can. (I think they're nice, but I only wear them when I have to)
You like wearing body perfume. (I smell fine. Besides, I want to get massive amounts of perfume, I just have to walk in the girls locker room. Then eventually die of deadly fumes from going in there every few days for gym.)
You love the movies. (Who doesn't?)
You used to play with dolls as little kid. (Barbies. But not usually, I mostly played Hotwheels or something with my brothers)
Like being the star of everything. (I don't really like it when people are all looking at me. I feel awkward)
You worship fashion magazines. (They're so boring!)
TOTAL: 7/25

So, apparently, I am a boy. The doctors were mistaken. I want a refund and also I don't have a penis.

My Name Is Sarah

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mummy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car door
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

'I'm sorry! ', I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

END CHILD ABUSE!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I think that's it... But ya'know, I've got no clue what I'm doing.

But I am still perfect.

Cause I'm Jesus.

Suck it.

CNoel