Back in 2015, about 2 months after my last ao3 update to 'Snow, Ice, and the Thirteen Dwarves', I met a friend. They shared my love of fanfiction, and we got along swimmingly. I mentioned that I was in need of a beta reader, and he happily agreed.

After they read what I posted, they blithely informed me that it was the cringiest concept that he had ever seen. Frozen and The Hobbit movies? Really? They weren’t even that good. The fanfiction I wrote was no better. Not only that, but I was butchering a classic in the worst way, and witnessing my actions was painful.

I was at a tender age, and going through a tender time, so I was crushed. You see, it’s hard for me to tell when I do something ‘cringy’. Other people’s opinions mattered a lot to me because I did not have my own meter for what was acceptable and I need to rely on others to measure for me.

I told some other friends my feedback. Friends who I thought were fine with what I had written, only for them to tentatively agree with my new beta reader. They didn’t want to ruin it for me because I was having so much fun but objectively, the fic’s concept and everything was pretty bad.

I poured my heart and soul into this stuff, and I showed people I knew, but it was really just 17000 words of me embarrassing myself. Mortifying.

So of course, I dropped this fic like a hot potato. I erased it from my mind. Taking advice from my friend group of writers, I stopped ‘wasting’ my efforts on butchering hallowed works and instead focused on writing my own original fiction. If fanfiction was necessary, it had to be ‘good’, acceptable things. And until a week ago, I was fine with this.

But seeing the trailer for the Frozen sequel awoke that little part of me again - that clawing, consuming interest in this god-forsaken concept of mine. (Yes, I know that the sequel will probably be ‘bad’. The original movie was no better.)

Tolkien’s masterpiece is already successful. One random misguided fan on the internet isn’t going to change that. Hell, an entire trilogy of bad prequel movies wouldn’t change it, either. You can’t take away from a great book because it’s still there, for some new fan to pick up and read and fall in love with.

Now I’m thinking to myself: what’s the harm? Is it really so bad, if I ‘waste’ my efforts on some dumb wish fulfilment crossover fanfiction tucked away on an obscure part of the internet?

Probably. But I had so much fun with this fic when I was younger, and I want to have fun again. I want to re-find my ‘spark’ so that maybe one day, in the future, I can apply it to better stories that I can actually be proud of.

My time and effort is mine to waste, and it’s not like anyone is ever going to know that it’s me writing this.

So… Hello. I can’t guarantee that I’ll finish this silly project, but I’m going to have fun while I’m still in the mood.