Hey

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any canon material. I do not own the settings, or other characters. Is it really that hard to figure out? If i owned them, why would i be writing this for fun, instead of selling it for money? Does this make sense to anyone?

For those of you who don't know me, (which you probably don't because none of the people i know do this stuff) I used to always get in trouble in class for reading a wonderful book instead of listening to a boring lecture about something or the other. I've become something of a nerd since then.

I also fantasize about books that i read, making them much more exciting. Then I learned what Mary Sues were. This improved the quality of my daydreams immensely.

The European Commission has just announced that English will be the official
language of the European Union. German, which was the other possibility, narrowly missed out.

During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would
become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make
sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of "k".
This should klear
up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20 shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z"
and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou"
and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', whats the opposite of 'progress'?

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Nunquam lamiae morde me dice. - Never say 'bite me' to a vampire. –Anonymous.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.