Name: Sheridan

Age: 42 -(Because it's my answer to life.)

Place: You know. You dont? Too bad.

Natural Mahogany/ Caramel brown Hair( with weird natural blonde streaks.)

Grey-y/Violet-y colored eyes.

5'7/5'8 ish.

Kinda big feet..well Pretty big feet.. They are so wierd..

Doo dee doo!! Dumm dee dumm dumm. Loo laaLaa loo Swishedy shwish...

Hehhe Right now im kinda dancing to my brothers x-box 360 game music... hehe Its soo funn!! YAY...

Favorite books: TOO many. But mostly Twilight and i admitt im a little weird but i love any books about Vampires or mystical creature and stuff. (e.g- Vampire academy series BY Rachelle Mead-AMAZING, House of Night series BY P.C. and Kristen Cast - Friggn awesome. Of coarse Twilight ,And Land of Elyon(Series)- Patrick carmen.-Young but Really Good-

Uhmm Well things to know.. I dunno what do you want to know? Im super klutzy in which i proved just yesterday by breaking my toe on my friends... wait for it.. on her FLOOR! Uh-huh. So yeah. I also regularly embarrass myself. Like OFTEN. Uhmm, I tend to say uhm too much as you can probably tell. Not much else I'm gunna tell you cos...One i dont know you and two, I dont feel like it, and Three, I don't like to keep going on and on and on, and Four, okai i dont know a Four but it seems like i should say Four. I Made my avatar thing and My name is inspired by a substituite teacher who after spending one period with me was super confused and had a killer headache .

She was trying to compliment me, and she was all "Well i really enjoyed teaching all of you and (looked at me) uhm Sheridan your very ... well, your Clever and... Insane.Then left.

I get amused by the littlest things!!

Spins disco ball on finger -I bet your wondering where i got a disco ball from hey? Hey?-

Ima gunna try to write a story and post it on here But... I donno. Hopefully. :p I LUVE Writing but i dont know if im good enough. I aHve sooo many ideas always runing around my head its hard to finish one story cause if i start one i'll get another idea and start that one.Anyways. I'll try.

I have ...6!! notebooks filled up with story ideas for here, but i'm writing a story with my friend for school and its not just a story but is turning out to be a small book!! (Its has 239 pages, and 28 chapters so far.)Which is crazy but happening so mostly I'm working on that. (=

ANYTHING RANDOM i felt like putting on here!!

Like this bunni for instance:

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Mr. McBoing-Boing.
(")_(") Copy and paste Mr.McBoing-Boing into your profile and rename him to help him gain world domination. And if you look over here, You

see Mrs.Kittesh

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Mrs.Kittesh is Mr. McBong-Bong's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Mrs.Kittesh as well, or Mr. McBong-Bong will get lonely!

Puts on sing-songy voice

Guess WAAAAHTT??

Thats right! Kay so i am co-autoring a story with (well it was Twilight brianwashed, now its) Rawr. Me ish vampire! Its called Out of The Book.

So far we only have one chapter up BUT Im going to work on it right now soo maybe 2 chapters soon.

Yeah so with both our aweosme authorness together Its pretty funni and random. I Luvee it but im biased. SO GO READ IT AND PM ME OR REVIEW!! KAYYY thnx hehe. Its about How Bella( i think we changed her name tho..) is writing a story (Twilight) and then she starts meeting her characters in real life!! First chapter the A/N's are confusing BUT they'll get better!! PLZ GO READ!! hehe thnks!

Sher =D

~thinks to self in heaad again~

So i wonder why you always putting this stuff up.

ME TOO,NO ONE READS IT DO THEY?

Probabaly not.

GEE THANX FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT.!!

Yupe.

~DAMNIT!! i said that out loud~ Aha! taht i didnt !! Yay for mee ~claps~

HAHAHA Okai this was inspired by a PM i sent to vampire-legend!

I came up with these all by myself!! Copy and paste. IF YOU ASK!! Be polite!! Hehe :DD

Emmet Cullen came to my window and all he took was:

My bra!! And traded me his signed copy of the teletubies, season 1!!

Edward Cullen asked me out and all I got was:

A Ride to school!!

Jasper Cullen looked at me and all i got was:

a wave of Idiocy

Alice Cullen took me shopping and all i got was:

A pet Giraffe!!

Rosalie Cullen hated me and all i got was:

a LAVA LAMP!

Carlisle Cullen wanted to do surgery on me and all that happened was:

Wombats attacked!

Esme Cullen wanted to cook for me and all i got was:

Yogurt and popcorn

Jacob Black wanted to take me cliff diving and all that happened was:

I got pushed!

Paul (dont remember his last name) Wanted to share secrets and all I found out was:

He's gay!!

Seth Clearwater wanted to hang out and all that happened was:

Wolves Attacked!

Leah Clearwater thought i was Mean and all i got was:

A GOLD JELLYBEAN

Mike Newton stalked me and all i got was:

To watch him get eaten by my already Pet stalker Joe.

haha Kay i thought it was funni now but in the Morning When I check it over its probably gunna look super dumb. OH WELL If I think of another I'll add it!!

OMG I LUVE THIS COS ITS SOO RANDOM!! Just Copy and Paste into an email.

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the "next" button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

-IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?

"Love Lockdown"

-WHAT WOULD DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

"Right round"

-WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

"If I were a Boy"

-HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

"StarStruck"

-WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

"You're Gnna go Far Kid"

-WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

"I Hate this Part"

-WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

"Take me on the Floor"

-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

"Animals"

-WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

"Hate my Life"

-HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?

"Move along"

-WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN??

"Kryptonite"

-WHAT IS 2+2?

"Someday"

-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?

"Crush,Crush,Crush"

-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

"Cross My Heart"

-WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

"Queer"

-WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

"Far Away"

-WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

"Fidelity"

-WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Dirty Little Secret"

-WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

""Halo"

-WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

""It's Not My Time"

-WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

"My Girl"

-WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

"Viva La Vida"

-WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

"The Llama Song"

-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

"Gives You Hell"

-WHAT SONG WILL BE THE SUBJECT WHEN YOU REPOST?

"2k Pennies"

Okay, now post the subject as the song you just wrote, and send it to all of your friends!

Im going to do this like everytime im bored. So It'll change :p

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You spend more time on the computer then outside

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

My mother taught me...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Hehehe i luve it!!

Here is a random story About me and my friends in Math:

JUSTIN: Sheridan?

Me: Hmm..

Mutters something i cant understand. Of coarse it might have been because i was joting down another story idea on my Math Sheet. Again

Katherine: OhMyGod. Sheridan!! (cutting of justin who was still talking)

Me: WHAT?? I SAID WHAT?

Katherine: I Wanted to say ~Cough Cough, Sorri.~ I wanted to ask which Fruit you liked more, Strawberry or Kiwi

Me: Katherine. Its Math. Do your work. And Tomatoes are gross.

Katherine: Oh please. Your Not doing it either. And WTF? What do tomatoes have to do with this?

Me: Hmm? Kay.

Justin: SHERIDAN!! PLEASE! JUST TELL ME YOU WANT TO MAKE CUPCAKES IN THREE WEEKS WITH MY SISTER!

Gets quiet. Halfs the heads in the class look hesitatly up.

ME: Wait. What?(His sisters 17)

Justin: Yup. You heard me. CUPCAKES.

Katherine: Huh?

Me: Kay. Thre weeks? Hmmm.. Okai.

Justin:~Grins~ Good. Then Were Gunna Walk My Hamster By the park.

ME: Uhm. Okai. I Luve Mr.Monks.

Yup. His Hamsters NAme Is Mr. Monks.

Derek took this time to put his two-cents in.

"Sher. YoByu have to hand that in and You know how Mr._ gets when you don't finish your work OR your stories."

Me: ~Sighs~ I know. Im Doing it. Tell Justin to shut up.

Derek: ~Screams~ JUSTIN SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET SHERIDAN FINISH HER STORY!!

Everyone in the room Looks up this time and even the teacher stoped his lecture.

Mr.: Sheridan. Again? ~sighs~Finish it then hand it in and this time there better be at least my favorite food in it.~sighs~ and turns back to Board.

Me:~To Person at very front of class~ One last thing.Today. I had Some Lucky Charms. Just thought you'd like too know.. Maybe not.

Everyones heads go down again -I suspect there getting used to it-

(By the way, I did end up making cupcakes, Just with Justin instead.)

Today was Monday.

Kaitlin: I just saw that movie Bewitched on t.v. last night.

Me: Thats Nice.

Kaitlin: Yeah I kept switching from that to The Perfect Man.

Me: Uhm Was that fun?

Kaitln: "We Should find my mom the Perfect-" "Twitch your nose"

Me: What?

Kaitlin: That was what it was like.

Me: Oh Okai. ~goes back to doodling on my notebook~

Kaitlin: -And Hillary Duff sort of reminds me of Madona somehow. Except Madona's amazing and Duffs like not.

Me: Mhmm. Got a point there.

Kaitlin: Madonna reminds me of Ice cream, so Whenever i hear her name i go and buy Ice cream.

Me: ~not listening at all now~ Kay.

Kaitlin: And ice cream reminds me of Corn and Corn reminds me of Bunies and Bunnies remind me of Ducks and flowers.

Me: ~Pretty much tuned her out the whole time now~

Kaitlin: So Now my lawn is covered with Ceramic Ducks And plastic flowers.

Me:

Kaitlin: SHER!!~Screams giving me a heart attack and making all the people around us on the bus jump~ I know! I know. Kay Tomorrow we'll go shopping for Pink Ceramic Hippos and Put them all over your lawn!!

ME: ~Finally realizing what She said~ "WHAT THE HELL? OKAY OKAY JUST DONT HURT MY FAMILY." ~Calms down considerably~

"So what are we dong on Tuesday?"

My Head phones are in for the most part of this. Evidently he didnt realize this.

Austin: Sher, Whatcha doing this weekend.?

ME:~Singing along~ "Let me see you shake those hips first"

Austin: Uhm Okai? ~Then proceeds to get up and shake his hips widly, pretending to sway to music, and then finally sticking his butt out.~

Me: ~Looking up about this time,starts to scream and laugh proceeding to make the weirdest kind of snort ever heard~ Austin!! What are you doing??Not that i dont like it. It suits you but...your scaring the other kids.

Austin: ~Looks over at me, staring at me like i was crazy, then finally sees the headphones in my hand~ Oh. WEll uhmm..You- I- Weekend- Shake hips first- ~Sighs and Hangs his head and comes to sit back down~

~~Pause~~

Me: Hey so Austin, Whatcha doing this weekend?

As you can see He was definatley justified at Glaring at me till i had to look away but i didnt get that at the time

Me: WAHT? What'd i doo??

After hearing this and watching the whole thing -including Austin huffing and stomping away- Gavin bursts out laughing and then continues to tell me waht i missed

Kay so this was a Saturday. I was supossed to go to a movie then bowling with my friends. I slept in. Big Mistake. (Dale's a girl by the way)

Door creaking

Hushed voices

"I Think she's still asleep girls. Wake her up for me won't-cha?"

"Sure Mrs.M." By this time Im partially awake

"No problemm"

Apon hearing this Im wide awake and know exactly who the voices are.

Door closing

"What should we do this time?" -That was Kristen.

"Yeah. It has to be good"- Cassidy

"...Hm.. wait let me think" Dale. Shit.

"Nothing. Nothing at all"- Dale again

/This surprised me. Oh well i could practically hear her winking. I'll just wait and be ready.\ O f coarse i was pretty much still in my comfy pj's and under my super comfy special blanket so I was also pretty tired. And after at least ten minutes of trying to keep my breathing even and my eyes shut i began to drift off again.

.About half an hour later.

"Ready?"

"Yup"

"Uh-huh"

"1,2,3"-

A hand -which i think is a claw- opens my mouth. Then someone else pours HOT MILK down my throat. Then some one else BANGS POTS TOGETHER

ME: waking up disoriented with my hair literally sticking up places "HUh? NO MR.CRABINTA I WAS FIRST. YOU CHEATED AND NO! I DO NOT WANT TO MEET YOUR SON!"

All at the same time Dale,Kristen and Cassidy all stare at me for a moment taking in what i said then burst out laughing and I finally take in my surroundings.

Each of them with pots and a metal spoon on the ground in front of where they're kneeling.

Dale with a cup of milk in one hand and a video recorder in the other.

Cassidy ... With a bowl of... My moms Chocolate cake? Oh well friends will be friends.

All of them now Crying and putting things down so they can fall over and roll around laughing.

THEN Out of no where my mom come barreling in the room with a wooden spoon and a phone in hand getting ready to call an ambulance.

"Sheridan! Your awake! I heard you yelling about random animals again like when you were younger and thought you were having another episode"

I have no clue waht she was talking about. Later! she told me she mixed me up with my cousin cos we used to be best friends and had sleep overs all the time and the unusuall yelling in sleep came from her. I just yelled thing out randomly in the daytime. And.. not only when i was younger

She then looked at my friends who had just craped themsleves from my moms surprise attack and then rolling around again trying to get there breath back because my mom is only wearing a weird looking hat with a pompom on top and a house coat. My mom calmed down a little, looks at them then back at me.

Raises her eyebrows"Should i call anyway?" (indicating the phone)

Dale who has gotten some sort of gasp, snort, grin, breathe thing going on answers

Gasp"no-" Snort" No its okai-" grin, Breathe. "were fine. really."

Then she lifts the camera and points it at my mom for an exagerated minute and says

"Good. i got that." then turns back to me

"So Sheridan. About the dreaming then screaming of random animals." Pause

"Is happened before? And How did you know Mr. Crabinta Cheated and Why dont you want to meet his son?"

Now my mom is doubled over and Dales trying as hard as she can (and failing) to keep the grin off her face. Cassidy has gone back to moms cake though.

Me: Proudly get up out of my bed. walk over to Dale's camera lean right up in to it. Smile sweetly, and answered all her questios at once. In order.

"You betcha.

Because I saw him.

I dont like Blind dates.

Oh by the way. Im. Going.To. Kill.You." Then continue to get dressed and comb out my hair right in front of them before grinning misteviously and then walking up with my hands behind my back and with one taking the milk and pouring it over Kristens head then taking the camera and turning it off.

By the way.In my dream i was having a race with some really nice but very competitive crabs. and the last thing heard on the video was

" Sher? What are you doing with that skipping rope and rubber ducky?"

The last story remimded me about this.

Gavin: ~Mumble, Mumble~

Me: Kay.

Gavin: But...~Mumble~

ME: Yeah. Definatley. Uh-huh

Gavin: AND ANOTHER THING ~Muffled shout~ Something about not being blind.

Me: Uhm. Gavin. I'd hate to interupt your rant but can you repeat that?

Gavin: i SAID ... And Another thing You Cant call it that because THEY MIGHT NOT BE BLIND. YOU DONT KNOW THAT. YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE!!

Me: Woah. calm down there Gavin. Your gunna have a heart attack and then i'll have to give you mouth to mouth. I've never seen you so rallied up before. Whats wrong.

Gavin: ~Grins~I wouldnt mind some mouth to mouth. (Theres the old Gavin) ~Then He smiles sheepishly~ Actually i went on LavaLife last night-

Me: WHAT? Laughs hysterically Gavin. No Need to be that desperate.

Gavin: AND i was talking to some people and was thinking about that. Like this one woman was SOO DUMB that he-SHE said she didnt want to meet because they were to busy for a blind date and it wouldnt be fair to the blind person because they would forget about them. THEN had to be explained what a blind date is.

ME: interupts again. Calmly: It was you wasnt it Gavin?

Gavin: Blushes

Me: Awwe. My little black haired male, Blonde woman..Soo cute!

Gavin: So do i get that Kiss now?

My sister: Did you just POW me?

My uncle: What? Why would i ...POW? you?

Sister: So you admitt it!

Me: YESH! I Love your logic!!

(At the supper table)

wierd barking sqeak noise

Mom: What was that.

Aunt: I think it was you

Me: No. It was The dog i bought for your birhday(to Aunt)

Mom: you bought her a dog?

Aunt: He doesnt come out muh does he?(She'd been here for two days already.)

Me: Nope. He doesnt eat much either that's why i got him for ya, he's so easy to take care of.

everyone chuckles

Me: Im Serious guys. WANNA KNOW WHAT I NAMED HIM?

Aunt: waht?

ME:...Pauses for dramatic effect... Llama.

Aunt, Mom, And sister: Llama?

Me: Yupe. Buttt...

Mom: Oh what now?

Me: Wellll He kind of bonded with the Angel fish i got for my brother's Birthday. Soo he might not come home with you.

Mom: Your brother has a name.

Me: Im not on speaking terms with him so i will not say his name.

Aunt: Okai so I dont get my dog but just to let you know for my next birthday i would love a killer whale.

Me; Kay I'll call my deale- i mean 'Friend' after supper.

sister: What about me?

Me: Oh Yeah i already got your birthday present. She's a Giraffe. I already have plans to cut a hole in your roof. They need room to grow you know.

Aunt: But i REALLY want a killer whale!

WE then spent the next 20 minutes talking about killer whales and if they replaced Shamu every time one died and if he could survive in non salt water because my Aunt lives next to a no salty lake.

Aunt: He'll adapt.

This is in class on my friends Justin's birthday..

Me; Omygosh, im so excited i made Justin a cupcake for his birthday. ITS SO COLD OUTSIDE!!

Dale: Nice switching of the subject there Sher, and yeah im excited too.

Gavin: wait.. you made him a cupcake??

Me: Uh yeah!

Gavin: Okai.

Me: Uh-huh. Well that was awkward.

We walk into class. Naturally were late. I Look to Justin's seat. Its empty.

Me:"Justins in the office or something right?" I ask the teacher, interupting him.

Teacher: No. Justin isnt here today.

Me: WAHT!! Hes not here?! I friggin made him a CUPCAKE!! Gawd. I WASNT EVEN S'posed to come today! It was too cold!! Look at my hair! Its still frozen! GAWD! Im Going to beat him! With a FAT BABY!!

Everyone looks at me

Teacher: ~trying not to smile~ "Isnt that a bit violent? You say your going to beat him with a baby?

Me: Uhm.. Yeah a Fat one.

Teacher: Oh Okay. Sit down.

Me: Kayy.

Whispers "A baby?"

Me: Yes. for the THIRD time That is correct. A Fat.baby.

Elephants and Giraffes

(By the way... My other names were also Cullen.girl.foever. and Sher_Cullen, Cullen Boys Can Bite my Pillows,And i think another one But xD i dont remember. My reaviews were really Random tho.) Im going to try to keep this one permanatley though.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you asshole!"

I Love that =))

OKAI!! soo After this, It's pretty Much All Copy and Paste. Just Skip Over it Cos it's long, Its Also really funni so read it if you want!

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she decided to wipe with that. After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."

oops Sorri, Got a little carried away there...

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don't mess with me. I've got a stick.

My Friends Used to be Normal, Then they met me.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

"When life gives you lemons, make Orange juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how the Hell you did it."

"When live hands you lemons, throw them back and ask for the Cullen Men!"

Come join the dark side. We have Emmett Cullen. :p

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Guys should be like Jasper- rich, strong, and hot. Guys should be like lattes- rich, strong, and hot. ...does this mean Jasper is like a latte?

Everyone has a wild side- me and my friends just prefer to make them public

Why are the Force and duct tape the same?- Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Emmett Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I'm the kind of who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened...yesterday.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

When people don't laugh at our jokes, we don't think of it as a 'You had to be there' type of thing, but a 'You have to be mentally retarded like us' type of thing.(!!)

I often break out with random dance moves.(!!Its tue!)

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.Again

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on

And God (CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was good.

Twilight: because we all secretly own two copies.

Boys are like skateboards; they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?(hah I asked my Teacher that.)

A day without sunshine is like... night.

There is such thing as a glass that never breaks. It's called plastic.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Swan: Clumsier than you since 1989

Sayings:

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

ATV is Addicted To Vampires

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

AN apple a day keeps the doctor away, if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

STORY

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

/In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love./

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run -beep- run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandda, by ...Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (Aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this junk! An know that you forgive them.

Equal But Not The Same "Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.

1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.

2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.

3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.

4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.

5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.

6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.

7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.

8. If a girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.

9. Boys grow their fingernails long because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.

10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.

11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.

12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.

13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the VCR after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie three times in a row.

14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
(So...why then have we all been submitted to spelling tests our whole lives? Ponder THAT a while.)

More randomness! Yes!!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a Wite-Out pen:

Instructions: Make correction.

(Didn't see that one coming...)

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you support the 'Make Edward change Bella into a vampire' club, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can take any word and some how mix it in with twilight new moon or eclipse copy and paste this into your profile...because you rock!

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the fricken trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..

-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people are embaressed to be seen next to you in line post this onto you Profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

~.Cleverly.-.Insane.~

Sher C=

YUPE THATS RIGHT!!

So Now I have one Of those Super-super long profiles no one likes to read... Oh well, Thanx for trying.