Juicycouturegal
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Joined 11-11-08, id: 1739304, Profile Updated: 02-21-11
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

Hellos! As you can see, I lurvvv Twilight and Harry Potter so much (alarmingly so...lol). I also love fashion, my friends, my little dog, shopping, and old movies (especially gone with the wind). I am quirky, a little sarcastic, and impulsive, but also funny (or so I've been told). I like fan fics, but I hate when they are "alternate universe"...I just like pure canon HP and twilight.

Favorite Movies: gone with the wind, to kill a mockingbird, The Hangover, breakfast at tiffany's, enchanted (idk why...its just so cute!!), a million others, etc...

Favorite food: I love mexican sooooo much. I am german and irish, but we don't have as defined cuisine...so I love mexican!

Favorite stores/brands: Ralph lauren, lilly pulitzer, abercrombie, generally quite preppy, with a little edgy-ness. I also love juicy couture beyond explanation

Favorite sports: any sport that you can sit down, or wear a dress to play...I am not the most athletic...I am sort of good at tennis though.

anyways...so there you go...just a little about me! I will be posting my fan fics soon...they will probably all be twilight amd HP. Favorite Twilight characters are generally all the Cullens, especially Emmett and Alice. When it comes to Harry Potter, I gotta say, I love the bad guys, but I also think Sirius and Dumbledore are sort of awesome. enjoy!!

I saw twilight at midnight!! It was aweeeeeesoommee!!

If you are a proud stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, put this in your profile.

If your greatest wish is to be Bella Swan, put this in your profile.

you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

align='center'If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get sugar high off of carrots, or a slice of cake, or a small bowl of icecream, or 3 mini chocolate bars etc. copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have considered nameing your kids Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, or Esme, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If whenever you see a sliver Volvo you run down the street screaming, "EDWARD!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

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No talking! Write it down :D by madeinchina371 reviews
Notes, IMs, letters, and emails by Bella and other Twilight characters. Takes place after BD. Characters sometimes OOC. Sillyness predominates. Rated T for sexual innuendoes and potty language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 101 - Words: 45,861 - Reviews: 1523 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 8/31/2008
The Trick is to Keep Breathing by greenlemons reviews
Rosalie finds Emmett when his life is on the line, all because of a bear. When she makes the decision to save his life, she doesn't realize that she chose the path that will lead her life intertwined with the man she saved. This is their story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 92,391 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 11/7/2008 - Published: 5/9/2008 - Emmett, Rosalie - Complete
Getting to Know the Cullen Coven by ebhg reviews
Curiosity killed the cat; or, at the very least, maimed it. Of course, Charlie Swan learned that lesson the hard way. Set after Breaking Dawn. Winner of the Emmett Award: Best Humor in the 2nd round of the Sparkle Awards.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,922 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 336 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 11/6/2008 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullen Bunch by Shekiah Rosay reviews
A parody of the Brady Bunch theme song with a vampirish twist. I hope it's not quite as irritating as the original. LOL Based on the famous fanart by SimplyDelightfulx!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 15 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8476 - Favs: 7,706 - Follows: 1,830 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Naughty or Nice? by pandorasnotebook reviews
The Cullens decide which of them are naughty and nice for the Christmas season.Oneshot goodness!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 15 - Published: 12/15/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Jerry Springer Show: Guests: The Cullens reviews
What would happen if the Cullens went on The Jerry Springer Show? A whole lot of very very very weird stuff...including Mike Newton as a surprise guest--be afraid--be very afraid...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,950 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Complete
The Cullen Paranormal Research Society reviews
Carlisle and Esme go away on vacation, and while they're gone, Alice, Jasper, Edward, Bella, Emmett, and Rose go ghost hunting! Mostly Alice's POV
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,365 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/1/2009 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Complete
Have yourself a merry little christmas reviews
Christmas at the Cullens! Deck the halls! Alice's POV...black friday, christmas cards, and a white elephant gift exchange!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,674 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/30/2008 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Complete
You Send Me reviews
Rose and Emmett's long romance, starting at the day they met, until the present. From Rosalie's POV, she remembers back to the day in 1935 she got everything she wished for...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 16,612 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/1/2008 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Rosalie, Emmett - Complete