Skylar Cullen
hide bio
Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-26-10, id: 2631643, Profile Updated: 12-18-10

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life

´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• Twilight •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• New Moon •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• Eclipse •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨•Breaking Dawn•´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨•Midnight Sun•´¨»
¸.•(¸.•´ •.¸)•.¸

37 Things Emmett should do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Twilight Oath (For True Twilight Fans Only)

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlie's sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession?
Bite Me

Twilight Survey:

regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say ROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say roooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

Random latin words I stole from someone x:

dulce periculum

danger is sweet

flectere si nequeo superos, Achaeronta movebo

if I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell

noli turbare circulos meos

do not disturb my circles

stercus accidit

shit happens

~Twilight universe~

Team Edward or Team Jacob: Team Jacob But ONLY because they are my only choices. I hate them both.

Vampire or wolf: hmm tough one... vampire! :D

Edward or Bella: Edward

Carlisle or Esme: nooo! I can't choose! :P

Edward or Emmett: Emmett; MY monkey man!

Emmett or Jasper: ouch... I love Emmett but I think Jasper is interesting too due to his past If I could have both. I would choose both. But Emmett overall. Sorry, Jazz.

Alice or Jasper: Jasper

Rosalie or Alice: Alice! My favorite vampire girl :D

Bella or Alice: Alice

Charlie or Jacob: Charlie

Jacob or Paul: Paul! My favorite wolf!

Edward or Rosalie: Edward

Rosalie or Jasper: Jasper

Esme or Alice: hmmm I love them both... but I guess I choose Alice

Aro or Marcus: Aro

Caius or Aro: Caius

Alec or Jane: they're both awesome!

Jane or Demetri: Demetri

Alec or Felix: Felix

Embry or Seth: Seth

Quil or Seth: both awesome but I choose Seth

Claire or Renesmee: Nessie

Favorite Vampire Couple: Emmett and Lillabelle (my character)

Favorite Wolf couple: Sam and Emily

Favorite Volturi vampires: Caius and Jane

Favorite Vampire gift: Jasper. I would love to be able to make people feel things. Lol. *evil grin*

Favorite Twilight book: Eclipse

Least Favorite Twilight book: Twilight

x-x-x-x

I'll stαч up tιll TШILIGHT
To sєє thє NΣW MOON
And ιf I'm luckч
I'll sєє thє ΣCLIPSΣ
At BЯΣΛKING DΛWN
And thє wholє tιmє
I'm sιttιng with чou
Undєr thє MIDNIGHT SUN

є∂ωαя∂ ¢υℓℓєη αи∂ вєℓℓα sωαη
,'¨`•´¨', . . . .Ånd sø the Íiøn. . . . ,'¨`•´¨',
'`·.¸.·´'FeÍÍ in løve with the Îåmb'`·.¸.·´

x-x-x-x-x

Esme Cullen: More Caring than you since 1940.

Carlisle Cullen: More Compassionate than you since 1640
Emmett Cullen: Stronger than you since 1915.
Rosalie Hale: More Beautiful than you since 1915.
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843.
Alice Cullen: Quirckier than you since 1901.
Edward Cullen: Sexier than you since 1901.
Bella Swan/Cullen: Luckier than you since 1987.
Renesmee Cullen: More special than you since 2008.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

I have OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder.
Edward Cullen killed Bambi's mom.
I like my men cold, dead, and sparkling.
Twilight, Twilight Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. What obsession

WIWAVS: Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome.

For me, fear is walking in front of a group of people, just to be worried about how they think you look.

For me, acting rude and obnoxious in class is normal, no matter how weird you think I am.

For me, having bizarre dreams is my escape from the real world.

For me, breaking an awkward silence by yelling “MUFFINS!” is the best.

For me, hiding my true feelings with a stupid or sarcastic remark, and a good laugh, is natural.

For me, making people laugh makes me feel that speck of hope that I am good for something.

For me, hilarity is me doing a rain dance in PE in hope of cancelling the mile, and it raining two minutes later.

For me, loyalty is my best friend in jail, and me right next to him sayin “DAMN!”

For me, bonding time is my best friend in jail, and me in the cell next to him saying “THAT WAS AWESOME LET’S DO IT AGAIN!”

For me, friendship is me beating a random girl’s ass...because she told my friend her shoes were ugly.

For me, being myself is my friend getting rejected, and me calling up the guy and whispering “7 days...”

For me, fun is sending random people in class visual death threats during a lecture, just for the laugh.

And at the end of the day, it will all be okay. Because I’ll still smile for someone, and I’ll still laugh for something, and I’ll still live on.

My opinion of running the mile and a half:

Brianna: Come on, let's go!

Me: -panting- fuck...no...

friend: BELIEVING IS SUCCEEDING!

Me: I BELIEVE!! -starts running-

...-runs 10 feet-

Me: Okay. Done believing.

My opinion of Miley Cyrus:

Random Girl: I follow Miley Cyrus’s tour dates so I know when to go see her when she comes.

Me: Really? I follow Miley Cyrus’s tour dates so I know when to leave the city when she comes.

My opinion on texting:

Me: uhh...Q...Q...WHERE'S THE FUCKING Q?!

...5 minutes later...

Me: AHA! FOUUUUND IT!!

Mom: what? the Q?

Me: no. the send button.

My opinion on explanations:

Jules: What kind of cell phone do you have?

Me: I have the Blackjack 2.

Jules: what's a Blackjack 2?

Me: THE BLACK THINGY WITH THE BUTTONS THAT GO BEEP.

My opinion on friendship:

Lady: So, who was that that you were with earlier?

Me: Who, Steven?

Lady: Yea, you guys looked like you were the best of friends, joking around, laughing…how long have you known each other?

Me: ...a day.

My opinion on mornings:

Jules: Good morning Sunshine! The sun says hello.

Me: fuck the sun.

My opinion on helping a friend:

Tori: Hey guyz! I need help! What would you do if your cell phone got lost in a CORN MAZE when its pitch black outside...?!

Me: get down on your hands and knees and pray to god no one mistakes it for a stepping stone.

How I think:

Me: He broke up with me over a text.

Jules: What a jerk.

Me: I know! HE DIDN'T USE ANY COMMAS!!

Me: JASPER! I MUST TELL YOU SOMETHING!!
Jasper: Yes?
Me: Isn't my avatar awesome?
Jasper: ...sure
Me: What message are you trying to convey?
Jasper: Pardon?
Me: WHAT Ya TRYN'A SAY?!
Jasper: Shouldn't you be discussing this with Alice instead?
Me: No. Why?
Jasper: I don't exactly stare at myself all day.
Me: Why not?
Jasper: Err...because that would be weird.
Me: No it wouldn't.
Jasper: Yes, it would.
Me: I disagree.
Jasper: Ok.
Me: SAY SOMETHING!
Jasper: What do you want me to say?
Me: idk.
Jasper: -blinks- I have no idea what that means.
Me: Fine. Can I have a hug?
Jasper: Eh...no...?
Me: -Sniffles- Why?
Jasper: Ehm...because that would be...it would not...end well.
Me: -cries-
Jasper: Uhm...don't cry...
Me: B-b-b-b-b-but I-i-i-i-i want a h-h-hu-h-hu-hug! -SOBS-
Jasper: Great. Now I feel like crying.
Me: I sorry...
Jasper: S'okay.
Me: So can I have that hug now?
Jasper: No.
Me: Fine, Mr. Fredrickson.
Jasper: Who?
Me: Y'know...the old guy from UP...
Jasper: Right.
Me: You don't know, do you?
Jasper: No, not a clue.
Me: shakes head What shall I do with you?
Jasper: I'm gonna go see what my wife is doing...
Me: Can I come?
Jasper: Eh, I'd rather not...
Me: FINE! Didn't like you anyway!
Jasper: Are you bipolar?
Me: No...why? Unless you like bipolar people...
Jasper: Nevermind

Favorite Twilight Quotes:

Bella: "You are in trouble. Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home."

Emmett: "Fall down again, Bella?" Bella: "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."

Edward: "How much do you mean by 'a lot', exactly?"

Edward: "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb" Bella: "What a stupid lamb." Edward: "What a sick masochistic lion."

Edward:"Is it naptime already, Alice?"

Bella: "Something that Edward didn't want me to know. Something that Jacob wouldn't have kept from me."

Save The Olympic Wolf

Edward: "Amazing, how can someone so tiny be so annoying?" Alice: "It's a talent."

Bella: "I'm sure I still have boundries--like the continental U.S. for example."

Edward: "What did you do to this?" Bella: "It didn't want to come out of the dashboard." Edward: "So you felt the need to torture it?" Bella: "You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally." Edward: "You killed it."

Edward: "The outside world holds no interest for me without you."

Emmett:"I'm really glad that Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around."

Alice: "Haven't you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teenyist bit prone to overreaction?"

Bella: "Er...so, I'm still alive."

Edward: "Werewolves constitute as a risk."

Bella: "Okay, I believe that. But I want you to know something-when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I'm out. I am a neutral country, I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes."

Edward: "Well, don't be offended, but you smell like a dog."

Alice: "Sorry, he paid me off." Bella: "How?" Alice: "The porsche. It's exactly like the one I stole in Italy."

Jacob: "We made it, not bad for a prison break, eh?"

Bella: "So what's the latest pack scandal?"

Edward: "I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often."

Jacob: "Can I ask you something?" Bella: "That depends on what you want to know" Jacob: "I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything-- I'm honestly curious." Bella: "Fine go ahead." Jacob: "What's it like-- having a vampire for a boyfriend?" Bella: "It's the best."

Jake:"Well...I was wondering...do you...y'know kiss him?" Bella: "Yes" Jake: "Ugh."

Jake: "Do you have obsessive-compulsive disorder?"

Edward: "Did you two get in a fight?" Bella: "No, I didn't fight with Jacob. Much. Why?" Edward: "I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object."

Paul: "Are you gonna eat that hot dog?" Jake: "I guess, I'm so full I'm about to puke, but I think I can force it down. I won't enjoy it at all though." -sigh- Paul: -hands ball into fists- Jake: "Sheesh. Kidding, Paul, here."

Jake: "And you didn't even stay up to watch me swallow a cow. No, I'm glad you liked it. It was...nice for me, having you there."

Alice:"I have forseen..."

Jasper:"She was there-- expecting me naturally. She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me. It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt. 'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said. Alice: "And you ducked your head, like a good southern gentleman, and I'm sorry ma'am." Jasper: "You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."

Alice: "This hostage stuff is fun!"

End of favorite Quotes :o(

EMMETT CULLEN: Stronger than you since 1916

ALICE CULLEN: Predicting your future since 1901

JASPER WHITLOCK: Calming you since 1843

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab separators in your binders write doodles/love notes/confessions of love/any other Twilight related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you actually figure out the dates of EVERYTHING that happened in Twilight. Crazy is when you begin to change the names of your stuffed animals that have been named for as long as you can remember, to Twilight names. Crazy is picking up the Twilight perfume/lotion/stuff just to say you have something. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

30 ways to torture Jacob black

1) shoot him with a silver bullet (Yeah, that may not work, but it's worth a shot. Hehehehehe SHOT! Get it?!)

2) have the Cullen’s rip him to shreds and then set the remains on fire (I might not be able to live with that, but I think I'll live.)

3) gather all the Jacob haters into an angry mob and trample him till he is no more (OOOH! That sounds like fun!)

4) send the volturi after him (Hmmm, that's a possibility.)

5) let Jane use her torture gaze on him. (WHOOO! That sounds like a grand old time!)

6) have Bella kiss Edward right in front of his face (Hmmm. Yeah I could definitely live with that!)

7) throw him in an ocean with man, or I should say wolf, eating sharks (Yup, yup. that would sooo work!)

8) push him off a cliff (Oooh! Could Emmett and Jazzy help me do that? Pwease? YAY!)

9) throw a rock at his head, giving him a concussion (Wow, that does sound like fun!)

10) have Billy run over his toe with his wheel chair, causing him to break his foot (Unfortunately that would only hurt him for a few hours. We're looking for prolonged pain here people!)

11) have Edward knock a little sense into him (wink wink) (I believe Emmett would enjoy helping him with that.)

12) feed him to mutant squirrels (Okay, that works too!)

13) make him choke on his food (Could I make that happen multiple times?? It sounds like I would have a blast!)

14) have Charlie take out his tazer gun and fry him (Hmmm. Could I help him with that??)

15) when he is walking down the stairs, push him and start laughing (Okay!)

16) run him over with your car multiple times (I could do that. Can we use Emmett's jeep?)

17) kick sand in his eyes (Hmmm. I don't know...OKAY!)

18) neuter him (HAHAHAHA!)

19) inffect him with a very deadly disease (No comment.)

20) make him watch barney till his eyes start to bleed (Do I have to watch too?)

21) have Edward throw a refrigerator at him (Can it be Jacob's refridgerator?)

22) when he is a werewolf, take a shaver and shave off all of his hair and then start making fun of him (Oooh! Okay! Count me in!!)

23) have you and your friends take turns beating him with a bat like a piñata (I like pinatas!)

24) have Bella throw him out her window when he tries to get in (Could Edward help her with that? Because well, Bella IS Bella.)

25) spit and flip him off when he says hi to you (I don't think I could do that.)

26) shove dog biscuits down his throat till he can’t talk (OKAY! LET'S GO FOR IT!)

27)kick him where the sun don’t shine (Could Edward or Jazzy do that for me?)

28) Let Edward Strangle him, while you sit back and laugh. (Oooh! Can Jasper help? Pwease? I would especially enjoy that!)

29) call him names (i.e. Dog, mutt, pup, and my personal favorite...MONGREL!)

30) have you and your friends tie him up and give him over to the vampires (Yeah. I could soooo do that!)

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

YOUR REAL NAME:

Alexis Anderson

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):

Aleizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):

Purple Snake (OMG)

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and current street name):

RaChelle Academy

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):

Blue Mountain Dew

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):

Ldaowe (WTF?!?)

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name):

Lynnette

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):

Black Emma

Emmett's the Strongest,
Rosalie's the Prettiest,
Edward's the Smoothest,
Bella's the Clumsiest,
Alice's the Quirkiest,
But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make
everyone feel jealous.

Ten reasons to be team Jasper:

1. He's sensitive to your feelings, literally.

2. He doesn't take his brothers to strip clubs.

3. He fought in the civil war.

4. He didn't kill Bella.

5. He sparkles.

6. He never left anyone.

7. He showed everyone how to fight.

8. Blonds have more fun.

9. He has an amazing ability to put up with Rosalie.

10. He's just that cool.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter and the Twilight saga, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Arguments Between a Vampire and a Werewolf by Angry Lobster reviews
Edward and Jacob argue about sparkling, intimate biting, and various other subjects. Funny drabbles.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 23 - Words: 12,787 - Reviews: 1091 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 396 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Edward, Jacob
Rescue Me by LittleReporterGirl reviews
The Death Eater, Severus Snape, rescues a baby whose Mother has died. What will he do with her? Will he take care of her or pass her off to a more capable parent, never to see her again? This is the best summary i can do right not, sorries
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 55 - Words: 260,047 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 5/8/2012 - Published: 5/15/2010 - Severus S., OC
Wife Swap: Cullen's vs Anderson's by XxViolentEndsxX reviews
Post Breaking Dawn. Emmett submitts the family to Wife Swap. How will the new mom react to being in a house full of vampires will she survive. Or will they slowly bring her to the breaking point. How will the cullens be without Esme. No Jacob imprint.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,510 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 1/25/2012 - Published: 10/11/2010 - Emmett, Esme - Complete
Wings of a small bird by Mariko Akera reviews
Jasper finds a baby while out hunting and takes it back to the rest of the family. How will they react? and what exactly is this baby. Rated T just to be on the safe side
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 46 - Words: 193,412 - Reviews: 274 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 1/25/2012 - Published: 10/7/2010 - Jasper - Complete
Electricity by Isabel Southwell reviews
What if? We all know about the electricity between Edward and Bella. What if that was not just an Edward/Bella thing? What if it were a vampire/Bella thing? What would that mean?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 16 - Words: 29,873 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/4/2012 - Published: 1/28/2011 - Bella - Complete
Jaspers Fun with Emotions by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
Jasper changes Emmetts Emotions, and decides to see what Edward does! boys will be boys, oh wait Vampires will be Vampires! Was meant to be a one-shot, but not anymore!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,613 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Edward, Jasper
Crazy Cullen Sex Talk by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
It all starts off as a harmless sexual education video... But that starts everything off. Blood flavoured condoms? Emmett a male prostitute? Alice and Jasper having sex in Edward's car? Lots of crazy, funny stuff starts to happen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 22,143 - Reviews: 752 - Favs: 379 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Emmett, Carlisle
Truth or Dare: Emmett Style by DSandEC4eva reviews
This story is all about Emmett's favorite game and the adventures the Cullen's and Bella get into while playing it. Alice and Bella getting married? Is Edward gay? Is Rosalie pregnant? Emmett in love with a werewolf? Find out in this VERY funny story! DS
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,158 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 4/4/2011 - Published: 6/1/2008
A Different Me by XxViolentEndsxX reviews
When Edward left he didnt know Bella had a secret.She was Not Bella Swan.But Isabella Potter,twin sister to Harry Potter what will happen when she returns to Hogwarts and the Cullen's are there. Will she take them back.During NM&OOTP. Cedric is Alive
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,184 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 3/1/2011 - Published: 10/21/2010 - Harry P., Bella
Emmett's Little Girl by Isabel Southwell reviews
Emmett makes a discovery on his way home from hunting. Will they keep her? Can they? What will the other Cullens think? Rated M because you never quite know what will come out of Emmett's mouth.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,660 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/21/2011 - Published: 10/7/2010 - Emmett - Complete
Things You Shouldn't do at Hogwarts by Princess of the Mer-Rebels reviews
Things that will get you in massive trouble at Hogwarts. Do not try this at home! Rating is borderline because a few might not be understood by younger kids.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 899 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Sirius B., Marauders
Bella's Prank by edwardlover13 reviews
Bella finally pranked Emmett. EMMETT! What was it? And how will Emmett react. Rated M just incase.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,332 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Bella, Emmett
New Moon, Edward's POV poem by Isabel Southwell reviews
It does exactly what it says on the tin! Tells New Moon from Edward's point of view in poetry.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,180 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Copycat by Eclipse-Vamp reviews
Renesmee and Jasper are alone at home and Renesmee decides to copy her uncle for amusement. Pointless fluff.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 469 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Jasper, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Vampires and Notes by SlytherinHippie reviews
A collection of hilarious and crazy notes passed between the Twilight gang! Features a nutty Bella, the same old hot Edward, a sane Rosalie, Jasper the nerd, THE white vampire trash Carlisle, a perverted Aro, your favorite wolf, and Bella's pet rock Bob.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 18 - Words: 11,121 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/30/2010 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Edward, Bella
Emmett's new song! by ParodySisters reviews
Emmett has a new song? All because Bella Edward were slightly to loud last night? WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOw READ IT!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 355 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Superpowers Activate! by Juliejuliejulie reviews
For ADF Happy Valentine's Day Emmett Challenge. While hunting with Jasper, Emmett drinks a mysterious liquid that gives him an unfortunate superpower. Nonsense ensues. Crackfic silliness with added fluff.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,696 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/12/2010 - Emmett - Complete
Even though we love them, it's fun to annoy them! by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
Way's to annoy all the Twilight characters! *BREAKING DAWN SPOILERS* Random, Stupid And funny! Rated T for saftey.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 885 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 15 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Jacob, Rosalie
7 Minutes In Heaven Cullen Edition by SunnySkies4Life reviews
It's sunny outside, and the Cullens and Bella are bored. That is, until Alice had an idea. 7 Minutes In Heaven! Oneshot, not that funny, but I tried! Rated M just in case, but probably could be T.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,213 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/27/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Complete
Emmett Jizzed in his Pants? by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
Emmett gets "Jizz in my pants" in his head and decides to put on a show and sing it in front of his family...... R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 835 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/20/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Stupid photographic memory! by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
Carlisle Gets a song stuck in his head...... I suck at summarys.... random and quirky! Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Carlisle
Single Ladies Emmett style by twilighterjustgotbetter reviews
This is Emmett's version of single ladies
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 307 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Emmett - Complete